260: Are You Sacrificing Yourself or Your Dreams Just to Fit In?

Foreign. Welcome to the Earn your happy Podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author.

Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you.

Bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn, own, and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Welcome back to the Earn your happy podcast. And it is time for another quickie because there's always time to fit in inspiration. And I've actually been getting a kick out of all of the people who've been uploading themselves on their Insta stories, doing that intro right along with me. So that's been super fun because I love knowing that you guys follow along with the quickies just as much as the interviews, which to me was so super surprising and totally awesome because I feel like it's my time to just really connect with you guys and talk about what you want to talk about. And that's what I'm going to do today again, as always, because I have been seeing a trend with some of the quotes that have been getting uploaded from my book, either quotes or chapters. And lately what's been coming up in the realm of what's been being repeated from my book is a quote. And it is here. He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away. And I remember when I first saw this quote, what it meant to me. And I remember how liberating it was and how freeing it was and how it was permission to really step even more into being myself. And I know that this quote is beautiful and it's lovely, but when you're in times of really wanting to trim yourself to fit other people's, to fit inside of other people's box, to fit inside of other people's agendas, this is one of the most challenging things that you will ever do. It's also one of the most important things that you will ever do is to continue to show up and be you and follow your intuition on what it means for you to live a life that you love and to really tune in and ask yourself why you're here and why it's important that you follow your joy, that you follow your pleasure, that you Follow your bliss and you follow where you're being guided. And as always, I talk a lot about knowing when the energy is gone in a relationship, in a thing, in a business, and being really real about it. Whatever that looks like for you, being really, really real. Asking yourself, is this just me not wanting to do this anymore? Is this just me having a bad attitud? You guys, if you listen to the quickie last week, it was much about what do I need right now? Is this just about an attitude adjustment? Or what's the gift that I can give myself right now to be really real with what's going on in my life? So look at it from all angles. Sometimes you need to go take a. You need to go have a 30,000 foot view of what you're doing in order to, you know, really step back and say, am I trimming myself to make others happy? Or is this something that I really want to do? Or is this really who I am? Or do these Wednesday night wine nights still really work for me? Or does this networking event or business or group that I'm a part of, is this something that's still really making me grow and lights me up? Now, there are times in life when things go flat, things go stagnant and you need to resuscitate it and you need to reignite it. But then there are other times where I believe the contrast or the soul contract is completed. And your role might even change within that particular relationship. So if you're in something where you feel like you're whittling yourself away in order to fit your square peg into a round hole, except when you whittle yourself in order to become round, you feel like you're missing the best parts of you. You feel a bit like you are turning your volume down all the time. You feel a bit like that little ext that you love about yourself when it comes out and people say you're too much is being put in the closet or being put away and you're missing a big part of you, or you're missing the part of you that gets really lit up and fired up and excited. So is there a part of you that you're trimming to suit maybe one particular person, two people, a certain thing, a certain group, a certain place? I know so many people have reassessed what church they go to or what, you know, different networking events they're going to, or who they're hanging out with all the time. Where are you whittling yourself to fit in? And is this something that you're perceiving in your mind. Because as always, you guys, I want you to look at it from every angle. So if this is the easy route out for you to say, oh, I'm whittling myself there, or I'm not fully showing up as myself in this group, is it because you're afraid to, or is it because truly it's not a fit anymore and your intuition should know this right away. And if you are somebody who really does not do a lot of scary things and you tend to not pursue growth or resistance, it might be the case that you're just opting out because you're afraid. So get really real with yourself and say, yes, this is a group that I still want to be around. It's just that I'm afraid to truly show who I am. So what would that look like if you started to show just a little bit more of who you were in this group or these people, or this meeting or your job or this business or whatever is the right fit, but you're just running away from the resistance that could actually help you become more of who you are? Or is it truly the case that you know who you are in other circumstances? You run towards resistance, you really look for ways to grow, but you're just not able to bring your best self out or enjoy yourself in this particular place anymore. And it's not lighting you up. So, as real as you can possibly get, to answer this question. But the main thing is to really look at where you're whittling yourself away. Because once we do this, once we try to conform or fit or make people happy or show up for different reasons that are outside of what's truly lighting us up or truly in service in the best way that we can be of service. And for the highest good. This is what I want to talk about. You're always looking to do things for the highest good. And a lot of times the highest good doesn't always feel good. And I've mentioned this a lot, but I have to remind you, this should be a daily thing. This should be on your mirror, like in lipstick or eyeliner or permanent marker or something. So the highest good doesn't always feel good. And that's what growth and expansion is. So where are you best used and served? And how are you going to make sure that you are constantly seeking the resistance that's going to help you grow and not actually whittle yourself away? So again, I just want to say this quote, he who trims himself to suit everyone will soon Whittle himself away. Meaning you won't remember what it looks like to be you. Maybe you've been whittling yourself for so long that you don't actually know who you are anymore. So you have to remove yourself fully from certain areas and put yourself into different situations and do scary things every day to figure out who you are and how you can show up in different situations. Who are you anymore? What's your most important emotion and feeling that you would like to live in? So is it fun? Is it joy? Is it gratitude? Is it connection? So pick your most important emotion and then choose one thing every day that you think would bring that out. And this is gonna be something that is gonna be a total test every single day. So you might be like, oh, you know what? I think I'd love dancing. Or I think that I would love to get together and do a dinner once a month with these people. And if it's not the thing, you'll know. You'll either know that you didn't like it or you'll know that it was for you right away. So you guys, give yourself some tangible actions. Growth, personal development, connection. And spirituality is not just listening to podcast reading books. It requires an actual actionable piece. So if you're listening to books and podcasts and you're feeling good, but it's not seeming to last throughout your day, it's because you're not putting that inspiration into action. So you're not taking inspired action. And action. I don't even care if you're doing the other other things or not, as long as you're taking action and actually doing things. Because again, you're a spiritual being in a physical body. And in order for anything to manifest into your reality, into the physical, you have to bring it into the phys, actually act it out and take action. So I'm sending you guys so much love today. I hope that this helped. I All I want for you is for you to find you and be you and be more you. Because that is bliss. It's not fitting in, it's not whittling yourself away. It's not people pleasing, it's figuring out how to be you. Even if that means losing something or losing people in order to gain who you are and what you're supposed to do in this lifetime. The journey is not easy. The highest good does not always feel good. In fact, I believe most often it doesn't feel awesome in the moment. But the rewards are so long term and lasting and incredible that I'm telling you it is always worth it. So find that thing today that you can do so that you can get some lasting happiness. And honestly, when I say happiness, I mean peace. I mean ultimately peace in your soul.

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So thank you guys so much and as always whenever you upload the book or share the book I'm trying to upload or I'm trying to reshare it on my stories and it really helps me to know what is hitting home with you guys. And again I'm going to be doing a round tour of round tour around two of my book tour in the fall so I hope I get to see you guys. And we are trying to figure out where those spots are that we should come and visit where we can gather 2, 3, 400 women. If you have a community that you know would gather, if you have a bunch of women that you know would come to the tour, let me know what area that is and we will take it into consideration. And also I have some really mind blowing exciting news coming up where you possibly could share in this mind blowing exciting news as well. So hopefully in the next two, three weeks I'll be able to share that with you. So keep tuning into the quickies because that is is where I will be sharing. Okay guys, have the most amazing day and until next time, earn your happy. Bye everyone. Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought and honest comment. Tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again guys. Bye bye.