264: Why Being Dissatisfied Can Be A Great Thing

Foreign. Welcome to the Earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul, and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn, own, and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Welcome back to the earn your happy podcast. And it's time for another quickie, because there's always time to fit in inspiration. And I want to say a massive thank you per usual, because you guys deserve way more than one or two thank yous a week. If I could, I would tell you every single day just how grateful I am that you have made this podcast what it is. We are basically about to celebrate 8 million downloads, you guys, and we're at about half a million downloads per. Per month coming up, which is just absolutely insane. Absolutely insane. Really. Like, pinch me. This started out just as something that my soul leaped out and was like, you should do a podcast because you can be a total introverted hermit sometimes and you know that you truly want to connect with people more often. So this would be like the best excuse ever to have to do that even when you don't want to do it. And I had such resistance around it. And if I know myself and I know being a human means that typically all of my happiness lies on the other side of resistance. So I went for it. And here we are today, and I feel like I have half a million of my closest friends who I get to talk to every single month. So, you guys, this is like. I don't know, I don't even know. Like, I. I am little Lori from upper Michigan and it's just crazy town. So thank you so much deeply, from the bottom of my heart for all of the Instagram shout outs, for sharing this with your friends, for texting your friends episodes, all of the things, because I do not make this happen. You guys, make this happen. My goal is to. Someday soon. I don't know if we can do it this year. We'll see. But my goal is truly to do a million plus downloads per month, because that would be a million people per month trying to truly reach the next level and do the things that make them happy and reach their highest potential. So I just wanted to say thank you. Today's episode I want to talk about is about being blissfully dissatisfied. So blissful dissatisfaction. If you guys heard Ed Mylett's podcast at all, and I love that human. He's hopefully going to be on the show. I want to do an in person show with him though, because he is just so incredibly epic. I got to be on his show and I think it was during that show, or maybe it was another podcast that he said he's blissfully dissatisfied with his life, which means blissful dissatisfaction for him meant he's equally blissfully happy about where he's at while being equally dissatisfied with wanting more, right? With knowing that he wants to be more. He wants to reach his highest potential. He knows that he has more to give. And I'm so glad that I knew this phrase. And I also know that in order to be a happy human, we have to make progress in any area, whatever that means. It could mean in your health, it could mean in your family, it could mean in your relationships, it could mean in your business, it could mean any of those things. It could be one of those things at a time and they switch at all times. So you could be paying attention to all different categories at all times or not at all times, but you know what I'm saying? Different times. So it is important for a human to progress. You get the point. In order to be happy, if we're not doing that, if we're not actually feeling dissatisfied, we're probably regressing and not probably we are regressing. And that makes for a very unhappy human. So this brings me to a moment that I had just a little while ago. And a woman had sent me a message on Instagram. And this woman looked like this incredibly awesome yogi, was really into self development, like looked like this awesome person, like this picture did. And her bio talked about self love and being a yogi and helping women and all of these things that I thought I would connect over. Except when I read the message, it said something along the lines of, I'm going to have to unfollow you because I sense a deep dissatisfaction that you have for yourself and your life, giving off the appearance to your followers that they also in turn need to be perfect and going on and on. I stopped reading. Basically they're talking about how she was going to unfollow me and how I'm totally inauthentic. So at that moment, you know, the fire roared inside of me. I basically grew horns and started, like, spewing venom like, I hate you. So I breathed before I wrote anything back, and I just took a minute to myself, and I thought, a deep dissatisfaction. Okay, all right. So apparently she thinks that I need. Or that I'm showing up as perfect at all times or whatever. Whatever this looks like. And I thought, she must not listen to the podcast. She must not read the book. She must not have any backstory. Totally get it. Maybe she's on one picture when I was trying to be a fashion blogger. Whatever does not matter. So in that moment, I did what I always do, and I did her a massive favor because she said that she had to unfollow me, so she had not yet unfollowed me. So I blocked her, which made it way better. And I deleted the message because I just did not need that in my space. If you do that to me or if you send me anything, you will immediately get blocked and deleted. Okay, so cleared some energy felt good right away because I thought, you know what? Some people respond to this and try to win people over. For me, there are moments when I'm like, you're not coming into my world. Like, your energy does not get to infiltrate this bubble that I had worked so hard on creating. So you out. All right, so got her the heck out of there. Here's one thing. Can I. Can we just talk about this? Like, I would have gotten over it in, like, 30 seconds if she didn't look so normal. Like, if it was like a. If it was, like, a kitty, like, eating, you know, some random cat food in her picture, and they had, like, two posts up and no followers. Great. Like, that's like, okay, who even cares? But this looked like someone who would be my friend. So I was a little offended, but got over it pretty quick. But immediately I had this stuck in my head about this deep dissatisfaction. And right away, it came to me, and I was like, you know what? I am equally satisfied as I am dissatisfied. But I'm not dissatisfied with not being satisfied. I'm actually quite happy about it. Because while I love my life and everything about it, even the dark times, I also know that if I wasn't dissatisfied, I wouldn't be serving. Why in the world would I show up on this podcast if I was like, I'm good. I'm content. I don't need to serve anymore. I don't have anything left to learn. I'm just super good like you guys. I'm super good. This is great. Like, that's not the case humans. So then I, I'm researching, right? So I'm researching today. Human beings are actually not wired to be happy. There is a certain part of us that's actually wired to be dissatisfied or we would not go out and do the things that need to get done in the world or take care of the things that need to be taken care of or maybe even take care of our families, you guys, it's because we want to be a better partner, we want to be a better mom, we want to be a better wife, we want to be a better sister, we want to be a better businesswoman. We want to be, be better. And that is what makes a human happy is progress. So learning to be equally as satisfied with your life as you are dissatisfied and letting that be okay. It's not that you hate certain parts of your life or like, I'm so dissatisfied with my life. You're like, okay, that's not where I want it to be at. And that can be a motivator. It's not. It can be a motivator. It is our motivator as a human being. It is, is our motivator. Right? So blissful dissatisfaction. And the more that I thought about it, the more I just got more and more clear on how awesome it actually is to be so self aware of loving yourself and your life. But also, I hold a really high standard for myself in all areas. That doesn't mean that I beat myself up all the time. It means I have a high standard that I'm striving for. But I also equally have a lot of grace for myself. So if I don't reach that high standard daily or weekly or some months just are not going to hit it in certain categories because I can't be focused on all categories at once. It's like one or two at a time. So I have a lot of grace for myself in certain places, right? So example, when I was writing my book, I had so much grace for myself in my health and fitness. I was like, okay, so I'm doing half of what I was. I'm eating totally differently right now. And that's okay because I am in writing mode, book mode, hustle mode. And that's all right. So I gave myself massive grace in that area in order to really be blissfully dissatisfied in the area of getting this book out. I wasn't satisfied that I didn't have my book out. I wasn't satisfied that I wasn't sharing my whole story. I wasn't satisfied that I didn't yet have a way to share with you guys everything that has changed my life about tribe. So if you can see you're gonna be focused in different areas at different times and the areas that you can't focus on, you gotta just pour the grace on until you can flip and then go focus on the health side or go focus on the business side. But you guys, it's all about learning to put your foot on the gas in one area and where there's a bright where you're putting the brake on, that's just where you straight up pray for grace, give yourself grace because you have to know that you're not perfecting all areas at once. You're not growing all areas at once. It's impossible to grow all areas at once and keep up that pace. So it's kind of looking at where you need it most, what you need and then pulling in the grace.

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So that beautiful quote from Ed Mylett or that saying being blissfully dissatisfied or blissful dissatisfaction with your life. And I just love that because I will never be satisfied and I will always be blissful. And I love that dance between both. So I know that until the day that I die, I have something to offer. Whether that's just my time or a listening ear or whatever that is, that I am here to be able to do something and that I have to create my purpose every day. Or we do not feel like we're living a life of purpose. So it's my responsibility to create that. And that comes because I'm so innately in tune with my blissful dissatisfaction. So, you guys, I hope that I don't know this shed some light for you on anything or it just shows that we all get those nasty trolls on Instagram and they make us better because look at this awesome episode that I just got. So thank you for the content. Thank you. Okay, sending her love too. Can we just take one minute? Okay. Not for you don't have to send her your love, but if you want to, that's cool too. But I want you to think of somebody who irritated the shit out of you recently. And I really want you to see if you can see them in a loving way and just say, hey, I get it. Like, we all have our stuff. I don't know what set this person off in this moment, but I am sending them love and grace because they don't have it for themselves. Because when you don't have love and grace for yourself, you can't have it for others, you guys. So that is a tough life to live. That is the toughest life to live, is when we can't have love, grace, and compassion for others. We actually put ourselves in our own prison because you don't have it for yourself. So take a minute right now and just send them love. Like, actually picture it expanding in your heart. Like, all the love that you have because it is is absolutely infinite, right? Because love is not ours to have. We actually download it. So however much love you want in your heart right now, you can download it from God, energy source, whatever you believe and fill your heart up and then picture like a massive care bear stare, like, straight out your heart into their heart. And I promise you, it just makes your love and everything that's coming for you, it magnetizes your life and it just frees you. So like I said, did I block her hails? Yes. Did I send her love afterward? Hails? Yes. And I feel great about it. So sending you guys so much love today. I hope this episode helped in any way. And until next time, earn your happy. Bye, everyone. Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment, tell us what you think, Tell us what you want to hear. More of. It would really, really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again, guys. Bye. Bye.