270: Take Your POWER Back NOW!

Foreign. Welcome to the Earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author.

Each week I'll bring you a guest.

Or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves, get ready to earn, own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Hello everyone. I'm so happy that you tuned in again for another episode and it's time for a quickie because there is always time to fit in inspiration. And I don't know about you, but I am constantly looking for that quick jolt that can just get me going for the day and shift my mind in the right place. And I have something really exciting for you that you can do right now because Chris and I created a totally free training for you. So if you are ready to shift your mindset and move through your beliefs holding you back, whether it is something that you are really fearful about, maybe you have thoughts around your business or a relationship or something that you keep on telling yourself that you can't or you're not capable or you don't know how you're going to do it, or you don't know how you're going to get the energy to do it, or maybe you have money mindset blocks, which is really huge for anyone who is on a trajectory of growth. Growth. Go to becomealigned.com right now and get your totally free training. So we are sending you three free videos. You guys, these videos are awesome. Chris and I came together in order to share both of our unique perspectives because I know he has a totally different view than I do and he's also able to help in completely different areas than I am. He has interests that are totally different, he has life experiences that are totally different. And he's also got a completely different perspective from a male perspective. So I also love that we come together on that. So go and get the video training right now because together we are going to each weigh in on our experiences. We share a lot of things that held us back, our beliefs that held us back, and how we broke through and exactly what we do in order to do that. So something else that I love about this free training is that if you love it you also have the option to move forward with with Chris and I. So we have something@becealigned.com that we are going to offer you later on down the road if you just want the free training, awesome. But if you are ready to really continue moving through, if this is something that you want to do and get all of your fears or blocks or answers, you can move forward with us@becomealign.com as well. And you get the opportunity to not only meet your tribe and really work through everything you're doing step by step and at your own pace. But this is the only place Chris and I have opened up a group coaching weekly call so every single week you can live group coach with us. And our last group was absolutely mind blowing. Every single week we get on and we teach and we answer just about every person's questions question on there. We're able to get through almost every question that people have on there. So we get to meet you, we get to see you face to face every single week. I'll tell you, the people that got on the live group coaching call every week had massive transformation. They're actually doing it again because they loved it so much and had so much growth and change in their lives. We had a lot of people get on individually. We had a lot of couples get on this training. It's really truly one of the favorite things that Chris and I do because we get to sit one on one basically in these groups face to face with all of you on zoom in order to really move through together and look at our stuff in order to move forward. So you can go get that free training right now@becalign.com and this is so exciting. I cannot wait to see your face. Okay, so on today's quickie we are talking about a topic that I really used to hold me back and that's really the way that you speak to yourself and the way that you're thinking of things. So I want you to think of it this way. It's about freeing yourself of the labels that hold you back. But only we are able to label ourself. So when we're thinking of the things that we have or that we are, the language around I have anxiety is different than I do anxiety. So something I want to say is that we don't have relationships. We don't just wake up or come out of the womb with them. Right? We do relationships. It's how we show up. It's how we connect. It's how we communicate. It's what we're choosing to do in those, right? So when I used to say all of the time, oh, I have debilitating anxiety, it was such a label that kept me in a prison, right? It was just like, doesn't matter what you want to do in this life because you have anxiety. It was like point blank, end all. Can't move forward, can't move past, stop. So when I started to say I do anxiety, it was more empowering for me. While at first, let's be really honest, at first you're like, I don't do anxiety. I could really do without it. Why would I ever choose to do this to myself? But it was really clear to me that I was choosing to do a lot of it. And while in the beginning of when you're using I do anxiety, or I do no anxiety energy, or I do depression, in the beginning, it can really feel like, no, I really, I really have these things. Like, you are going to feel almost like a backlash and an outrage and a rejection inside of your body. But then what will happen is that you can start to take a look, right? We cannot change what we cannot see. So it's shining that flashlight in the dark corners in order to say, what's really going on here? And do we have any power? Like, I want to reclaim as much power as I can over this because it's more empowering to know that you have a choice to think differently and to show up differently and to do different things. So a couple of the things that I want to do on this podcast, if you're listening while you're in your car or you're out on a walk or run and you're really ready to take some serious ownership over something that's been blocking you or stopping you, I want you to go back home. And when you have some free time, I want you to make this a writing exercise. This was really, really huge for me. This was huge breakthroughs for me. So when you write down I have anxiety, right? Cross that out and write I do anxiety. And then underneath it, right? How do I do anxiety right now? What does that look like, right? So when I wake up in the morning, if I know that I get on my phone right away, that makes me anxious. So getting on my phone right away is a big thing of how I do anxiety. Drinking two cups of coffee in the morning, if I'm having an anxious morning or drinking caffeine at while looking on my phone, that's another way I do anxiety. So not doing any of the practices, not moving my body right Away, getting on social media, having coffee, maybe calling someone, looking in my email. All of these things make me anxious immediately for the day, setting the tone for my day. There's so many different ways that I have done anxiety, whether it's. I have a talk coming up. So right now, I'm really looking at this, you guys. Like, I'm really, really examining how I do anxiety around public speaking. Because, you know, if you listen to this podcast at all, you know, it's been a huge thing for me throughout my life and throughout my career, and it's not going away. Like, I'm at a point where I'm speaking sometimes once a week, sometimes more than that. So I just spoke this weekend or this last weekend. I'm speaking again this next weekend. And then I have, like, three massive speaking things coming up right afterward. So I'm watching my mind, how my mind does anxiety. And when I say my mind, I mean the conversation in mind, right? It's like, oh, my God, I need to prepare this much. I need to make sure I know exactly what I'm gonna say. If I don't practice this many times, I feel like I'm gonna fail or I'm gonna be so anxious, I'm. I don't feel well. Like, I just feel sick the whole week leading up to it. And instead of the thoughts that I'm doing anxiety with, right? So you can see how I'm doing anxiety with my thoughts. It's like really taking notice of, wow. I'm choosing to say these things to myself. And Lisa Hayes has a quote that says, be careful how you are talking to yourself because you are listening. So when I'm saying these things to myself, it's the truth for me. And what happens is I send an immediate reaction into my body saying things that I'm believing. So I have to first switch those to undo what feels truthful within my body. Because I need to start switching into things like that I've been saying all week with Chris now I'm so excited to be up on this stage. When I'm on stage or when I'm speaking to people or teaching from my experiences is truly when I feel like I am closest to God, when I'm closest to source, when I get to be used as a conduit, when I get to be the channel is when I feel most alive. Even if I'm nervous, I feel most alive. I love that feeling of after I speak, being so used up in the best way that I just sit in pure mind bliss and relaxation, knowing That I did all that I could and I left it all out there, and that I am making my creator so happy right now that I did the scary thing instead of backing down and not using the gifts that I was given, because that feels like crap. So that's how I undo anxiety. So how can you. First, I want to. I want you to write down, if you're an anxious person, how do you do it? What are you doing? Are you drinking coffee? Are you talking to other people who are scared of what you're doing? What are you thinking? What are the thoughts that are reinforcing it? Who are you around that's reinforcing it? What are the habits around anxiety that reinforce it? And then I want you to write the question, how can I undo it? How can I do it less? What are the thoughts that I can start thinking? Because if you don't have new thoughts that you can replace with those ones that you keep having, then you're not going to learn how to replace the default that you have going on in your head. It's like if you want to replace the music in your head, right? Have you ever done that where you have a song going over and over and over in your mind, and you're like, I need to stop singing this stupid Frito Lay commercial. So what you do is you replace it with another song. But if you don't have another song to replace it with, you're going to be singing about Frito Lays for the rest of your life. So it's replacing that thought process. So now I want you to look at maybe how you do depression. Because for me, and I'm not saying that some people don't clinically have depression. This is not what I'm saying. But I'm saying there are a lot of things that we can at least help switch in our minds. What are the things we have control over? This is about taking the control that you do have back. So how I do depression is I sit slumped forward. I think really negative thoughts. I do depression a lot in my body language. I don't go for a walk. I isolate myself. This one is huge for me around how I do depression. I start looking and taking inventory on all of the reasons reflecting back to me why I should feel this. I look around and I see rude people. I see crappy drivers who don't care about anyone else. I see the news, and it makes me feel like it's just confirming exactly how I feel. I hang around people who also agree with me to reinforce that feeling again. I Stay really isolated for the most part. And you know what? I sprinkle anxiety on top of depression. So I make sure that maybe I drink a lot of coffee or I make sure I eat really crappy foods because depression and anxiety go hand in hand. And a lot of the food that we're eating can make us. Us feel really anxious. It can make us feel really lethargic. And I know whenever I'm tired if I don't get enough sleep, so that's another way I do. Depression and anxiety is not sleeping, is staying up later, is watching more tv, is eating crappy food, is drinking more alcohol, because then I really, even if I'm sleeping at night, I'm not truly hitting that nice, amazing REM sleep. So I'm exhausted. And I know that when I'm exhausted and when I'm tired, that is when anxiety and depression are like, you know, holding hands, skipping around me, freaking out and swearing at me and telling me that they're never gonna let go and that they've taken control of my life. Anyone else? So how do you do it? How do you do depression? Write it down. How do you talk about it in your head? How are you thinking about it? What is reinforcing it? Is your environment reinforcing it? And then I want you to write down, how do I undo it? Right? How do I undo it? Do I go somewhere else? Do I get around happy people? Do I listen to podcasts, do read books? What is that? So another one. I have no energy. Okay, you do no energy. So again, I want you to really get the start, to get the grasp of this is how do you do no energy? Well, you probably eat crappy food, you don't move your body, you don't listen to uplifting things. And you think about, maybe you start your day saying, oh, I'm so tired. How could you switch that? That's a big one for me. Is this morning I was like, I'm so tired. And I was like, lori, this is how you do a no energy day. And so again, every morning, our mant is, I'm happier, healthier, wealthier, and more fit than I was yesterday. And I can't just say it because it can become so robotic. I have to say, how would I feel if I really felt this? And I was like, my eyes would be awake, my shoulders, like, I would feel awake. I would lift the expression on my face, I would take deeper breaths, I would stand up straighter. I would add inflection to my voice. It is a choice to how you show up. I want you right now. If you're running, if you're walking, if you're driving, I want you to ask yourself and put yourself in the feeling, in the position of what would this feel like? If I was happy about my life, if I was grateful, if I was so excited, how would I be sitting? What would the expression be on my face? Would I have tears in my eyes of complete gratitude and joy and bliss that, oh, my God, I get the power to choose exactly how I feel right now? I have goosebumps right now. I'm so grateful for this life to be born at this time, to have the opportunity to shift my energy and change what is going on in my life and become who I want to become. Especially if you are a female. The time is right now for all of us to just do it. Do it with the fear, right? That is the difference between doing it, between being courageous and being confident. Courage is doing it with the fear, right? And the confidence comes after doing the courage. That's how you do courage. You grab fear's hand and you say, everyone feel this, feels this way. If I feel any other story, that's not the truth. Every single person is scared and nervous. Every single person is scared and nervous. I pray that this podcast shows you that I don't care how much I've spoken, I still get nervous, but I do it anyway because I don't want the feelings that are on the other side of bad, backing down, saying no and not living in to my truth and my calling. So again, looking at how do you do? No motivation, right? So instead of I have start saying things like, I'm experiencing this, right? I'm experiencing depression, I'm experiencing anxiety, but I know that I can also choose to experience something else or I have problems. No, it's. How are we really looking at problems, right? It's. I'm experiencing some problems right now. Not I'm a failure, but I've experienced failure, and failure's freaking amazing. It's the only guide to how I know where I'm supposed to go. Okay? I tried that. Curiosity didn't really work for me. Or I really sucked at that. Awesome. That's probably not for me. Or how am I supposed to get better at that, right? Did I enjoy it? Did I actually enjoy the failure? So that's something that you know, when you know something is for you, is you're gonna fail and you're gonna be like, that was worth it, right? So when I tried ballroom dancing and I completely failed Chris, and I ballroom dance for a year and I signed us up for a competition thinking that'd be super fun. Had one of the most awful experiences of our lives because we sucked so bad on the dance floor with all these amazing like professionals swirling around us while we just kind of stood there and swore at each other, blaming each other. It was awesome. And then we also realized that it was one of the biggest growth experiences of our life. Like praying that we fell through the floor but did not, thank God that didn't happen was so incredibly worth it. Like we had so much growth and we had so much fun on the journey on the way there that we were like that failure was so worth it. Let's keep dancing. And then we competed again and we had a great time. Long story short, but how are you doing the anxiety? How are you doing the depression? How are you doing the no energy? How are you doing the no motivation? And how can you undo it?

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So first of all, saying I can undo any feeling I don't want to be in. Say it with me. I can undo any feeling I don' want to be in. Okay, awesome. In fact, you can say this right now with me. In fact, right now I can test and try on feeling energy, right? What would it feel like if you had energy? Feel it. Hold it in your body. If you're on a run, run a little faster, right? Get a better stride. Take out a little bit of that feeling where you're just trudging along and just notice that maybe it's not going to last forever, but you can do it for for a minute, right? You can do it for 30 seconds. So even if you're in your car and you're dreading going to work, say what would I feel like right now if I was excited to go to work? What would I be excited about, right? How could I show up with a little more energy and get that feeling in your body and notice that you got it in your Body Notice that you can continue to keep trying that on and that when you're in that energy, you're going to attract more of that. Because a bad feeling attracts more bad feelings and it goes down a spiral. A good feeling attracts more good feelings. It goes up, upward. So I'm always gonna try to be on the upward and it doesn't go fast. I'm gonna be the first person who says, this is not a quick thing. This is not like, ooh, I picked a really awesome thought and I feel awesome for the day. Yay. It's like, okay, I've picked an awesome thought and it's gone. Okay, pick another one. Okay, do it again. Okay. Could you do it again? Right, Like Rachel Hollis always talks about in her book, not what if you didn't give up on yourself this time? Right? Like, what if you didn't quit? Like, what if you just showed up a little bit more than you did? Yes, yes, yes, you can. And you are. So. Thank you guys so much for tuning in. I'm like beyond grateful, beyond proud of all of you. I love, love, love when you share the stories on Instagram, when you share this podcast. It's the only way that I can continue to do this podcast is by you sharing it. And in order for me to have incredible people on this show, it's just all you, you. It's all you. So I thank you for sharing this with a friend who needs it because that's how you become the light in their life as well and how you just share that extra energy that's moving through you right now. So if you guys are wanting a little bit more of this today, you can also go to becomealigned.com to get that free video training to do even more work around breaking through. I would love to see you there. I'm telling you, this course is life shifting and I would love to work with you. This is the only place that I work, basically one on one group coaching and open up every single week to a live call. I've had so many people asking me recently about one on one coaching and I do not do one on one coaching simply because I love being able to reach all of you at once and work together because I am all about tribe and my schedule does not allow one on one coaching right now. So I'm trying to get us all together and move together since I really do believe in the power of tribe and getting so many different experiences and opinions and life experiences all together and shifting together and supporting one another. It's all about that support because the people around you truly are either reinforcing where you want to go or reinforcing a fear and a lack mindset. So. So surround yourself, saturate yourself, immerse yourself, marinate in a tribe that is going to take you to the next level. It's not about building a tribe for where you are at. It's about building a tribe for where you are going. Because you will become the people that you are surrounded with. You will become the strongest energy in the room. You will become the most certain person that you're around. And a lot of times you can become the most certain person in the room. So thank you guys so much for tuning in. I'm obsessed with you, to put it mildly. And until next time, earn your happy. Bye everyone. Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review. If you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought and honest comment, tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again guys. Bye bye. It.