274: Why Being Out Of "Alignment" Helps You

Foreign. Welcome to the Earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author.

Each week I'll bring you a guest.

Or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul, and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves, get ready to earn, own, and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Welcome back to the earn your happy podcast. And it's time for another quickie because there's always time to fit in inspiration. And let me tell you what, this is gonna be a good one today because I'm on one. So what do I mean? I mean, I just got done with my mastermind that I do with some of my closest sisters in my life, so I'm literally fresh off of it, like 10 minutes off of it. And I'm getting just these massive downloaded messages right now. But first, I want to tell you that Chris and I have launched our become aligned course. That's at becomealigned. Com. And the reason that I'm urging you to go check it out is if you feel like you are ready to break through to the next level of your life and you need the people to support you along with that, whether that is to really reach financial abundance or start to feel abundant or really flesh out your plans or feel supported in your life and your relationships, this is absolutely the spot in the tribe that you want to be with. So go to becomealigned.com today is actually the last day. So if you're listening to this when the podcast comes out, which is Thursday, you still have till tonight at midnight to get this. Otherwise, you guys super excited that you are listening to the podcast either way. So thank you so much for showing up. And also, we are doing this is the last time for that program that we are doing our live group coaching. So for nine weeks straight, for an hour every single week, we are getting on a call with all of you. And this brings me to my quickie today, which is all about alignment. Isn't it so funny how life is such a massive walking, breathing contradiction? Because I am redefining in my life right now what alignment means and I want to redefine it for. For everybody if it resonates. So in my particular circumstances right Now I will tell you that I used to think that alignment meant lining up, feeling good, making sure everything in your life is aligned with your highest potential. Maybe signs show up of alignment, of feeling good, feeling happy, being in a good mood. Things are just going your way. You're getting all the green traffic lights, you're manifesting those parking spots. Right? All of the different things that are talked about in the secret, all the different spiritual community buzzwords that go around about alignment and feeling so aligned with your true purpose and your true mission. And I'm going to tell you that in order to even feel those feelings, that you have to be out of alignment. And I believe that every next level of your life is going to feel so far out of alignment that I am redefining alignment for myself right now, especially after talking to my ladies and my mastermind this morning as being aligned to your truth. So sometimes your truth can be dark, Sometimes your truth can be ugly. Sometimes your truth can be that all you have the energy for that day is crying out of your looking out your window and sitting there crying. Really acknowledging that you feel you have no energy for anything else and that you are spiraling out of control and that you're conspiring some crazy, crazy story in your head to try to get any attention or anyone to hear you or see you. Or maybe you're trying to withdraw from everybody else because you're in a place where you don't feel your value or whatever that looks like for you right now. And I want you to really acknowledge when you are in a place of not feeling aligned and when you are in a place of darkness or when you're in a place where you feel so out of alignment and that if that is your truth in that moment that you are experiencing, that you're still in alignment. Right. That you're still in alignment, but you're in alignment with your truth. So there's a difference between sitting in it and continuing to choosing, or continuing to choose to sit in that dark place of really, maybe it's comparison, maybe it's judgment, but to also acknowledge that that's the human experience. Right? Right. That that is the human experience. And to say, this is where I'm at today. Is there something that I can do to go and feel a little bit better? How long do I wanna be feeling this and am I gonna allow myself some grace to feel it? And I wanna be so truthful with you guys. Like yesterday I had a terrible day. Like an awful, awful, awful. No energy, felt super depressed, spiraling Some stories in my mind, not knowing what's next for what my next goals are, because I just did something that was huge for me and that was, you know, write a book and launch different courses, and I have different events and I have these beautiful speaking engagements that I get to speak at. But I've always been somebody who has put so much value on having a ton of different goals and knowing where I'm going. And for the first time in my life, I'm seeing if I'm. If I can still feel valuable, happy and connected without having all of those things. And this is what my soul is calling for right now. Just to really see, feel and measure or find my value without having all of those things. Now, I do think it's important if you are in the place of needing to create something in your life or you're feeling that calling to move forward in a massive way. But if you don't know what it is to give yourself the grace period, to sit in it and let it be okay, and know that your value is not in your accomplishments. I think this is important for so many people at all different levels. And yes, I could sit here and totally lie and tell you, yes, I know that my value is not in my accomplishments. I know that I'm still a valuable person. I know that I'm still connected. But when you're in it, to really feel that right when you are in that place of, my God, why am I crying again? Oh, my God, why am I feeling bad for myself? Oh, my God, why am I comparing myself to this person right now? To really let that be okay, that you went there, forgive yourself, be a loving observer, and to say, that's okay. This is where I'm at right now. This is my truth. I'm feeling it. This is serving a lesson of some sort for later and to be committed to just moving forward and that's it. Not to your goal, not to, oh, my God, I have to suddenly create something that's massive. Not to going back to the default response of how do I feel worthy again, really quick, the old way that I know how, but to allowing yourself to be in it now. I do think that there's a point where you're like, okay, it's been long enough. Like, maybe I'm doing some things that are really sabotaging myself. But I will tell you that if you are, you know, something that I could do to sabotage myself that I observed yesterday was I was like, you know what? Some champagne would be great right now. And a lot more Tears and just like, maybe this food and that food. And I was thinking of all the old ways of numbing. And what I'm doing is through it, I'm feeling it. I'm allowing myself if I need to sit or mope or whatever that looks like, but I'm observing where I want to sabotage even deeper. And instead I'm going for a walk or I'm listening to a podcast. But I'm allowing myself also to be in the feelings. So as you guys can tell, I haven't worked through it yet. I'm in it. I've been in it for a little while. And that's also okay because I know that it's serving me in some form to go to the next level. And I'm actually getting some massive wisdom from it. And sometimes, sometimes I believe that when we. Not sometimes this is all the time. So I want to. I want to share with you right now. I have been asking to feel connected to the people that I'm about to talk to at all of these different events. And I've been asking for inspiration to write some new spoken word poems about overcoming different things and what it actually looks like when we feel very real and raw and human. And guess how I'm getting the answer in the form that I absolutely don't feel like sitting in. So if you guys are asking to go to the next level right now, or if you are asking to understand something or forgive someone or have more compassion, it might be being served up to you in a lesson like we talked about last week, right? Like, everything is a teacher. It might be coming in the form of a teacher that you just absolutely do not want. Like, I don't feel like feeling sad or depressed or crying all day right now. Like, it would not. It does not feel like it's serving me, although it's really serving me. And I'm sitting here laughing at being a human and just feeling so emotionally raw and open and human. And I'm also questioning right now if I'm going to have a vulnerability hangover after sharing this with you. But my soul is feeling really called to tell you that feeling good is not the point all the time. It's feeling the feeling and allowing yourself to have that contrast and really see what it's teaching you in that moment. So I'm in it. I'm here. I'm good with it. I'm actually somewhat excited about it when I, you know, can come out of it and view it in a different way. But I'm telling you, I'M not rushing through it either. Like, if I dip back in today, that's okay. Because one sure thing that I know is that life is in seasons. That's one thing that I know. And I don't think it's fair to lie about when I am in a winter season. And I think coming off of something so beautiful, like a book and like so much connection on the road, I think this winter is happening for me to strip away all of the other ideas that I, you know, either thought of myself or thought that I needed to be happy and really finding a new. I'm feeling a new season coming on. I'm feeling a pivot in my life, and I think that sometimes these things are happening that aren't super awesome in your life or things aren't lining up in the way that you would want. Even though I have a lot of things lining up in my life, it's still okay to not feel like other things are lining up in your life that you are desiring and to really observe the lessons from all of those things. Because I'm getting some serious clearing. I think that so much clearing happens in the winter, because what happens is, you say, is this important? How do I feel without this? How do I feel with this? It's bringing such a contrast to the things that feel good and don't feel good. And it's almost like a getting rid of. Right? You're allowing the things to die and to let go that used to once define you, that maybe are taking up room for your next level. And what's coming for me already through this kind of, like, darker period, which, whatever, it's just not. I'm not feeling in all. All of the time. Right? It's feeling challenging to feel good, and that's okay. But what's coming up for me a lot is that it's making room for the greatness. Because I feel like I can default back to what I'm really good at in order to feel good again. Right. Like, I could jump right back into a goal of something I'm good at, I could jump right back into pushing a program or. Or sharing more about a certain topic that I'm good at. Even though I feel myself pivoting to want to talk about different things, to want to share different things, to want to create different things in business. So I feel some massive pivots coming on. And I think that in order to do that, it's just the transition that I always talk about. And that transition is that feeling of darkness when you walk Alone in the dark. You have to be willing to walk alone in the dark with yourself and all of your thoughts, ugly and pretty and let it be. Okay? And let me tell you, that is alignment, that is authenticity, and that is truth, is the willingness to walk alone in that darkness when it feels bleak and you're not sure what is on the other side. So if you guys are there, just know that this is such a beautiful, important part of life. Oh my God, it's so good. But have a commitment to continue to show up, to do the things that take care of yourself, to nurture yourself. So the one thing that I'm telling myself is just nurture yourself through it. Like, show up, take care of yourself, keep working out, go on the walks, eat good food, surround yourself with incredible people. So what's happening is I'm just bobbing in and out right now. So instead of staying in it, I'm in it and then I'm out, and then I'm in it and then I'm out. And that's okay. So little personal coaching for myself this morning. Hope you found yourself in this story because that was really a good one on one session with myself. So thanks to my future self or my present self for coaching my present self. Yep, this is, this is the crazy that goes on in my brain. So welcome, welcome. It's a scary place and it's so good. I Love it. Okay.

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So we'll see what comes. Next week might be a really great week or next week might be just a more. You know, it's always going to be a. A platter full of truth. So I'm kind of looking at it going, oh, that was a lot and that was a little scary to share. But I hope that you, I mean, if, if you're with me right now, like, I am just holding your hand saying, sister, you're in alignment with your truth. And I see you and I feel you and I acknowledge you and I'm so grateful for you telling me that you are in this place and it's beautiful and it's not always going to be this way. So enjoy it while you have it because it's giving you a beautiful lesson and it's really connecting you with all of the people that you are probably meant to serve. You can't serve from a place of not understanding. So I am in deep understanding right now with anyone else who's experienced this. So sending you guys so much love today and thank you for always tuning in and no matter where you are at, I'm celebrating any emotion, any feeling and just really enjoy it because life is all of it. It's every single emotion that makes the other so incredibly delectable. So have the most amazing day you guys, and until next time, earn your happy. Bye everyone. Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment. Tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear. More of it would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happiness. Thanks again guys. Bye Bye.