278: What You Have To Do NEXT in Order to GROW

Foreign. Welcome to the earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author.

Each week I'll bring you a guest.

Or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn, own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Welcome back to the earn your happy podcast. And it's time for another quickie because there's always time to fit in inspiration. And I'm giving you fair warning that I am on fuego. I am on fire. Why? I just got back from Lewis Howe's summit of greatness and I mean, it's just complete confirmation that you have to be in the room with big thinkers or you have to be reading their books or you have to be listening to their podcasts. You have to put yourself in the rooms that you are not ready for yet. If you're not doing this, you're not going to grow as fast as you would like to grow. Will you grow? I'm sure you will. But if you are ready to up level your life and start thinking differently, you have to be around the people who think different. Yes, I'm rapping because I'm doing spoken word very soon. This weekend at an event which I'm going to share a little bit of spoken word with you. Raise your hand if you want me to do some spoken word on this podcast. Okay. The most amazing thing about a podcast is I'm just going to picture all of you raising your hands. So I will do some spoken word. Thanks for asking for it. So you guys, I'm going on a book tour again. Round two. And this is going to be so much fun. If you did not make it to the first one, I pray that you are in one of the cities that I'm going to. I will be in Austin, Nashville, Chicago and where else am I going? Help me. I can't even think of it right now. Chicago, Nashville, Austin and whatever. Well, I'll figure it out in a minute. This is like the gift of having a podcast. So I have a couple things for you today and get ready because I am about to really let you know what is going on with maybe why you are not Getting to where you want to go. Oh, I'm going to Atlanta, you guys. I'm going to Atlanta as well. So make sure that if you are in one of those cities that you are absolutely coming to the book tour if it works for you. Because the conversation is so much fun. And I'm telling you that all of the different women who came in there not only didn't realize how many people were in their city who had, who were super like minded, but they also have connected so deeply that so many of them are friends now and some of them have started businesses together, some of them have like already gone on vacations together. It's been really crazy what I'm seeing from the tribes that have connected at the book tour. So I hope that you can make it. You can go to a tribe called bliss.com and I'm telling you it is going to be magical. And Austin, I might have a super special surprise for you. Not sure, but we'll just see. We're going to have some really incredible women who are not only in the room. Whether it is local business owners or incredible influencers or amazing women doing incredible things, or people who just found the book or people who just want to connect. So get in the room, like I said before, get in the rooms that you're not ready for yet. It's the only way to grow. So I want to talk about this today because fear is your invite for growth. If you would like a map for your life to find your bliss and to figure out what's going to finally make you feel fulfilled, what's going to finally make you stop feeling depressed, what's going to finally make you stop feeling so much anxiety. Don't get me wrong, there's definitely people who need work around this, who need therapy, who maybe you need some medication, whatever that looks like for you. But I am saying there is a lot of low hanging fruit that you can start doing on your own that human beings are meant to be doing in order to grow. Because the whole purpose of this life is growth, is progress, whatever that looks like. We're supposed to be doing so many things, but modern, in this modern time, so many things have now been taken over by computers, by different people. We've made our life so easy that we've actually made our life more challenging. So it's not so much a physical thing anymore where we have to go and hunt and gather and do all of these different things. But now we're in mental challenges, right? What makes us happy. We actually have to work towards that so you're always going to have work. The work now is how do you make yourself fulfilled and happy and also realize that fear and pain is a part of the journey. So when we resist it, we actually get stuck in the lesson. So a lot of times we have to look at what we're stuck in. And if we don't get the lesson and understand what it's trying to give us, make us stronger, make us more compassionate, make us forgive people, make us love people even when they're hurting us, we're not going to be able to move on from that chapter in the book. Picture reading a chapter in the book, and at the end, there's an exercise, and you skip over it and you're like, wow, I'm not really understanding this next chapter. It's not really fully soaking in. I don't really get what they're saying. I feel like it's too much because you didn't do the work in the first chapter, so you can't go on to the next. Sometimes you got to sit in one chapter for a week, two weeks, a year, two years, five years, whatever that looks like, until you get that thing to move forward. So fear is your invite to growth. If you want to know where you're supposed to go yet, here's what I want you to do. If you're driving on a run or in your car, do this when you get home. But I want you to write out 10 things that you are most afraid of right now. And I can tell you that the things that you're most afraid of are the next step that you need to take. So out of that list of 10, what I want you to do is circle the one that is least scary and start with that. Or if you want to speed this thing up, like, if you want to unlock who you really are and unlock the gifts of your life, go to the top, sister. Like, go straight to the top. Or brother. Sister or brother. I know there's some guys who listen to this not keeping you out. We love you. All right, go straight to the top. Circle that one and say, that's where I'm going. A lot of times what it is, is I'm afraid to introduce myself to this. I'm afraid to reach out to this person. I'm afraid to ask for help. Because of what? Because of rejection. Guess what? You're going to get rejected. Guess what? I got rejected 21 times for my book. 21 times, you guys. I had people write me things like, your message is so basic, nobody needs this right now. This has already been done so many times. Okay. That's okay. Did I cry? Hell, yes, I cried. It sucked. But then I went and talked, talked to friends who helped pick me back up and said, keep going. Keep going. So you guys, I'm that voice right now. Keep going. What's happening is every time you get told no or every time you get judged, it makes you more firm in your beliefs. It makes you more clear on what you believe. It makes you more clear that you have to share more love. It makes you more clear that we need more good people out in the world. So fear is your invite for growth. Write down the top 10 circle the hanging fruit and go and do that today until you feel like it's natural, until you're not scared of it anymore. You have to do it over and over and over and over and over and over and over. I'm telling you, I public speak now. And it was the scariest thing I've ever done. And I'm still so freaked out over it. But I've gotten better. I've gotten better. And I also know that on the other side of fear is where the biggest gifts of your life are. Stop denying yourself of the reason why you're here and the true rewards because you are a little afraid of what other people think. They are dying for you to step up right now and show them a way to do it. They're dying to see you say, it's okay, I got rejected. I'm still going. Because the journey is what it's all about in the doing is where we find who we are, is where we find what we're made of, is where we find our happiness, is where we make ourselves proud. It's where we make ourselves proud. So I don't know if you guys know this, but this weekend I am doing some spoken word. I truly just think I'm gonna not call it spoken word. That intimidates me. I don't know why. I'm gonna call it, like, poetry or whatever. And I've decided that my rapper name is MC Gift Wrap. Totally kidding. I'm just kidding. But yesterday, my amazing assistant Evans and I, she was letting me practice on her. I was so nervous. Oh, my gosh. I've called a few of my girlfriends and I'm like, please perform my spoken word for you. This is so scary. Okay, spoken word, whatever, poetry. And I don't know, I've decided that MC Gift Wrap made me laugh because it's just terrible. And it's like, my friend Danette says gifts wrapped in sandpaper. So maybe this feels like sandpaper on your ears when I say it. I don't know why I'm sharing this anyhow. I am going to share a little bit of my spoken word because it is the scariest thing in the world. So here's what I'm saying. This whole thing fears an invite for growth. I want to grow. I want to grow. I love growing. I don't want to leave this planet without reaching my highest potential. So I'm going straight for the things that scare me the most. I'm going to be at my friend's event, the Rise. Her name is Danette May, and I will be performing this in front of 2,000 plus people. What? I mean, that's ins. That is crazy. I mean that I literally, when I sit and think about it, I'm like, you're insane. What are you thinking? Like, you've never done anything like this. Like you were homeschooled through high school. You probably have like an eighth grade. Like, I don't even know you guys. I'm like beyond scared right now. So let me just share a little bit of this with you. So let's see what I want to share. This is in the middle of the poem, and the poem is about five minutes long. So I am going to read you just a tiny, tiny piece of it. Let's see. Here we go. Are you ready? Shake your head yes. Great. You're ready. You're excited. Awesome. All right.

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They say through ownership you get your power back, but I gotta be honest, that's a little easier said than done. I was really hoping this whole personal development thing would be just a little more fun. True story. I was recently at an event like this. Sitting in the audience and the stage. From the stage, I felt these words hit me in my soul much like a deliverance. He said, I am not what I think I am. I am what I think you think I am. Let me repeat that I am not what I think I am. I am what I think you think I am. Moral of the story is the only thing that's stopping us is what other people think. Get your mind off other people's shit and put your soul back in the driver's seat. The only thing wrong with you is that you think something is wrong with you. Everything is right with you, in spite of you, ignoring the higher you. The answers are all inside of you. So why are you gripping onto others view and what they think think of you is nothing? Because they're only thinking of them, of themselves. All right, you guys, so I stumbled. I messed up on that. And I'm leaving it in because I got really nervous. And I am showing you that this scares me pretty much beyond anything that's scaring me right now because it's, like, so contradictory of what I. What I believe is, is me, even though I know this is me. And I want to give permission to anyone who has something exciting in their lives that they're hiding or something that they know they could be good at or something that they feel they're gonna fall flat on their face and let it be messy. Let yourself screw up. You guys, if I screw up during it, which I will, it's okay. I'm gonna keep going. I'm going to keep going because someone needed to see it. My voice is still shaking. I'm leaving it in. Isn't that important? Can we just all talk about the importance of letting people see you suck or not do well? It's, like, vital. It's freeing. It's permission, and it's what we're all asking for. So today I give you permission to go and do something sloppy, to go and share something that doesn't feel good yet. It's not going to. I'm sending you guys so much love. Please, please, please, please. I would love if you would take one minute, send me a little love for the weekend, because I promise to always go to that scary place first. And hopefully I get to give you an example of what it could look like for you to step into that radical human that you are. I see you. I see all of you on social media. You have so much to share. You're doing such amazing things, but you're playing small, and you can play bigger. Bigger. It's time to play bigger. Play big with me. You guys tag me in this. Share a story with me, how you're gonna play bigger. I can't wait to hear it. My voice is still shaking. What the What? Okay. I'm so grateful for you, and it means the world when you share this podcast. It's the only way it gets out. And, yeah, MC Gift Wrap is signing off. It's terrible. Why did I share that? You ever have those moments where you're like, I just want to rewind that. Except I have. I'm like, if you want to know who I am, this is I'm nerd central so we're showing the nerd central a little bit more. Okay guys, have the best day and I hope I get to see you at the book tour. So go to a tribe called bliss.com and I will see you there. Until next time, earn your happy everyone. Bye bye. Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn you have your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment. Tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again guys. Bye bye.