282: Q&A Day #1

This is one of the biggest things that is like my truth and my North Star. It does not feel good becoming the highest version of you. Welcome to the earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves, get ready to earn, own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Welcome to the first official episode of Q and A Day. Ask me anything. It's still in progress. We're actually not sure. But the most exciting part of this is that it's not just me on the microphone. I have my awesome assistant here and also the co host of Q and A Day. Not sure what this is called yet. Ask me anything. Evans Cradock.

I'm here. Thank you so much for having me.

You're welcome. Okay, so we. The reason that she's here is really because I wanted to not speak into the microphone alone anymore. And I also know that our personalities together can be quite silly. So we'll see how this goes. We might have to edit out five to 10 minutes of laughing, but welcome to this episode. But what this is really based on is that we've gotten so many questions and we really feel we have a lot of answers.

So many answers.

I don't know if they're the right answers for you, but they're definitely answers. And we also want to do shout outs every single week for a review. So review of the week, which we're going to be giving. Did we decide what we're giving away?

We are going to be giving some awesome swag.

Like a coffee mug or like a earn your happy coffee mug or maybe something else.

Yes, it's a surprise swag.

It's surprise swag. But we will be announcing it or we'll be sending it to you. We're figuring it out. Out. Like we said first episode. Figuring it out. All right, so why don't we start actually, I want to know how your weekend was.

My weekend was awesome. How was your weekend?

But what you do.

Oh, okay. Chris has a mastermind and it was from Thursday through Saturday. It was great. It was here in LA and we had, what was it, almost 30 people for the whole weekend with amazing guest speakers and dinners and waffles got to come one day.

That's crazy. And waffles got to come simply because Chris and Lori, that would be me speaking, the third person, did not make any plans for where waffles should go.

So she was a mastermind guest.

So she came and bothered everyone. It was fantastic. Okay, so that's awesome. And I spoke at Angie Lee's event.

Pays to be Brave, which looked like an amazing event.

It was so awesome. It was like four or five hundred women. I don't know. The room was packed and it was just tons of energy of women who want to up level their lives and take their business to the next level. But I did something scary there. I did the spoken word thing again.

But you know, I did know that.

Because I practiced on her. I was like, hi, I'm practicing this on you and I might cry. And it was amazing. Oh, thank you.

And you can hear it on your podcast now, right?

Yeah. Last week's quickie, which is on a Thursday. And we don't know what, we don't know what day this is going out yet. So this is just Q and A random day.

Q and a random day. Brought to you by Lori.

Brought to you by Lori and Evans. Okay, so let's start with our review of the week. Who is it and what does she say? And do you want to read it in a very southern accent? I do.

This review is from Morgan Loewenherz. I apologize if I mispronounced your name. Lori is the most inspirational human being, full of light, love and humor. Listening to this podcast is part of my morning routine. Lawyer offers advice, self awareness, ideas, vulnerability, encouragement, and lots of laughs. She's equal parts motivating, motivating and hilarious. So thankful for this podcast. Thank you, Lori, for sharing your gifts.

Morgan, wasn't that love? That was so amazing. Morgan, we are so grateful for you. Thank you for your awesome five star review and those amazing words. And we will be sending you a gift. Let's send her a mug. Let's do an earn your happy coffee mug because those are so cute.

They're super cute. You're going to love it, Morgan. I will track you down and get your address.

Morgan, it makes coffee extra, extra delicious.

The best coffee you've ever had.

Your husband or your partner or whoever make it for you. It's great. Okay, so let's do some questions. So I don't know what these questions are. To be Honest with you. So Evans is picking questions, so you better pick good ones. Just kidding. Okay. But what we do want to do is give you a massive shout out for sending in your questions and sharing everyone's Instagram handle. So if you love this question and you had it too, you can go follow them as well. So who is our first question from?

Our first question is from Sarah Thompson, who is @saraitfit on Instagram. She says, if you only had four months to live, would you continue on your journey or stop?

That is an intense question. What was her name? One more time.

Sarah Thompson. And Sarah, Instagram says she's a donut lover, which I love.

Sarah. I mean, first of all, I think the donuts might contribute to the four months left. I'm just kidding. Sarah. This is such an awesome question. I would continue on my journey for sure. I can honestly tell you that if you would ask me five years ago, I did not. I wasn't living my calling fully. I can honestly say now there's some stuff that I would definitely stop doing. I would stop doing all my emails.

No more emails.

No. I'd be like, four months left. Emails are not happening any longer. But I would absolutely go. And I would be speaking and I think I'd still be writing and I would definitely now be doing a lot more poetry, which is kind of crazy. So thank you for this realization and this question that I would be. I would. I love what I'm doing right now, so that really helps me understand if I'm in alignment. So thanks for that laser pointed question because that's kind of a great question for people to ask themselves. Like, what would it look like if I had four months left? What would I be doing? And could I actually design a life that I could be doing now? What I would do if I felt like, you know, I didn't have a lot of time left so that you could really step into your passion. So that is a beautiful question. And thank you for making me think today.

That was great. Great way to check in with yourself. Ooh, this is a good question. You ready for this next one?

I mean, I'm scared, but I'm ready.

This is from Lynette. Lynette. She is at Lynette Tttisz and she says, how do you stay focused when you feel like the outside world is pulling you every other direction?

Lynette, this is beautiful because this is a practice in boundaries. Because when the world is pulling you in a million different directions, it is impossible to get focused if you don't have boundaries. So first of all, I look at what do I need to focus on and how much time does that require and what will I actually to start focusing? Like, do I just need 30 minutes a day or do I actually need an hour a day? Or is it something where I really need a lot more time than that? Because that's going to depend on how many conversations you have and how much time you're going to have to ask for. So when we need to get focused and when we need space, it's going to require talking to all the people who are pulling us in other directions or figuring out a situation where people can help us with other things. So for me, I feel like my emails pull me in different directions. I feel like I can get really distracted with things that I'm supposed to do either around the house or just different projects. So what I do is I say, okay, how much time can I alleviate if I had somebody else help me with my emails? So right then and there it's like, okay, if I really get laser focused on having someone help me with this or take this over, I'm gonna free up some time here, then I'm gonna free up some time here. And this is gonna take time to tackle each one. But what I would do is either tackle the low hanging fruit first if you don't have a lot of energy right now, so tackle the one that's gonna free up a little bit of time and us. Otherwise go straight for the one that's taking the most time and either have that tough conversation with the person who you need to help you watch the kids, or you need to go find a babysitter, or you need someone to come in and maybe clean your house so you can get that whole day back that you used to spend cleaning your house. But a lot of it is going to require boundaries and it's going to require asking for help. So that's how you get focused is actually figuring out where you can give all of those other focuses away or pay someone or have a tough conversation to have someone else take it. What do you think?

I think that's great advice and I think it's so hard to ask for help.

Yeah.

Why is that so hard?

I don't know, but you've had to do a lot more of it. So what, what's changed for you?

I think just I tend to be one of those people who holds things in and then I find that it's so easy. Even at work when I say, hey, I'm struggling with this I need extra help. And it's never a. People always want to help.

But what is it? Right? Because okay, so recently she had asked us, like she had come to us and asked us to switch some things around in her schedule that would be way better for her or something like that. But I think it's that moment right before you ask that we're dreading the most. So how do you stop focusing on that moment of right before you ask and did you already have a pre planned ask or was it like, I just gotta do this cause I can't live this way anymore.

It was like, I just gotta do this. I just gotta to ask the question. And I think I called my mom and my mom always says, eat the frog first.

Oh, mom, mom, so good. Ribbit, rib it.

Eat that frog.

Eat that frog.

But it's true. Just don't let it fester.

I have a frog song.

What is it?

Do you really want to hear it? Hold on. The little green frog one night. The little green frog. Do you know this song went the little green frog. Is that a camp song? So your mom is right.

So on that note, frogs eat it first. Eat it first.

What's the next question before we make them dumber?

The next question comes from Stellaluna. Or her name is Brooke, but her handle is stellalalunaevents.

And her.

Oh, isn't that nice?

That is nice.

She's a wedding planner.

Ooh, that's pretty.

So pretty. Her question is, what was the biggest challenge you had to face to live out your true purpose?

Oh, man. Ooh, this is a biggie. I mean, honestly, I'm always surprised at how challenges you think you've done the biggest challenge. And then you're like, no, this one feels like the biggest challenge. So if we are evolving, you will always feel challenged, but you will get used to it. It becomes a habit. That's like asking me what's the hardest workout I've ever done? And I'm like, no, yesterday was the hardest workout. But you know, it wasn't. It just was. It's here and it's now and it's the challenge. So I will say that a lot of the challenges that are faced with becoming or living out my passion or whatever, living out my purpose was not overcoming, but having to transition from relationships that weren't supportive in my life. And when I say transition, like even understanding how to navigate relationships that also have to stay in my life. So I'm super transparent about this all the time. But even relationships within my family, because for Me. Sometimes when I'm around certain ideas or opinions or beliefs, it's very easy for me to go back to that belief. Like, maybe I can't do this, or maybe it is hard to eat this way, or maybe it is hard to stay healthy, or maybe I'm not gonna be healthy my whole life, or maybe I am slowing down, or maybe, you know, maybe I should have kids soon. Maybe I can't have them in my. So I try to stay away from those opinions and switch the conversations now. So if it's relationships I have to have in my life, I've learned to kindly disagree. Like, say, that's. You know, that's. I totally respect your opinion, but for me, that's not how I feel.

Right.

And stand in that and let that be okay. And this took years. So when people listen and they're like, oh, that sounds horrible. Or hard. Yeah. When you start saying who you really are and how you feel to someone who has only seen you a certain way, they are not gonna love it. And they're probably gonna say things to you to try to stop you from being that way. Cause that's just what we do. We get scared when people start to change. So the quickest way to change someone back to the old them is to criticize them. And especially if you're family, it's so easy to criticize. Cause we're like, they still have to love us. They can't leave. So if you. It's just the truth.

Right?

Like, I married you, you can't really leave. It's gonna take a lot of paperwork. So I can say meaner things to you. It's fine. Just kidding. Don't do that. But it's true.

So true.

So kind of having that conversation over and over. But first having it in your head first. So when you know what those things are that are gonna block you or those conversations or those obstacles, like, start preparing for the negative. Start preparing for the obstacle. But I will definitely say it's overcoming and navigating those. And sometimes I've had to leave people behind, and that's been pretty. Not fun. That's hard. Have you had to do that?

I think. I think so. I think we all have transitions in our life where we just grow, outgrow different things, and people move on. And you just. I like that analogy you used on book tour a lot, which was filling your plate up with like, let's say you're trying to be healthier instead of thinking about what you're taking away, thinking about what you're adding to your plate. You're adding all these wonderful things. So same thing.

Then you're kind of crowding it out.

Yes.

Then there's just not room for. For the negative anymore. Right. It's so. Yeah.

And doesn't have to be dramatic.

No, it doesn't. It doesn't. It doesn't have to be like, you're.

Out of my life.

But if you need that, you might need some of that. I've had to have some of that where I'm like, I'm just not going to put up with this anymore. I'm not going to step in front of the bus. Like, I don't know if you've had any of those people in your life where you know, they're not going. Like, they're just. They're going to run everyone over in the way.

That's not good.

So if you keep on stepping in front of. It's like, you're going to get run over. So why are you. Why are you, like, choosing to step in front of something that's just not going to care?

Right.

So for me, I'm like, just don't stop stepping in front of the bus. Like Mel Robbins says, stop taking the bait. Like, if they're always going to try to bait you with what they're saying or try to, like, poke the bear, why are you taking the bait? Just be like, that's so nice. That's so nice that you think that. I know you want to use this voice.

It's very good podcasting voice. Very npr.

Oh, it's good.

It's very nice.

I always wonder how they can be.

So calm, especially when they're saying, you know, those hard news stories.

That is crazy. Did you ever listen to Delilah? Yes. I love her.

Delilah, Delilah.

Is she still around? Yeah. Love songs.

Wow.

Okay, what's the next question?

Speaking of love songs, this comes from your girl, Lindsay Schwartz.

Yes. What's up?

Lindsay Schwartz at Lindsay Schwartz on Instagram. What has been the most influential thing you've done to elevate your financial mindset? I love this question.

Oh, I mean, I go and overspend monthly, so. I'm just kidding.

A lot of debt.

You know, I get myself in debt and then. I'm just kidding. What's the number one thing I've done to up my financial thermostat? Basically, yes. There's not been just one thing for sure. There's a couple things. So definitely, I will always share this, but the T Harv Eker book, Secrets of the Millionaire Mind Was huge for me in going all in on it. I mean, if you go all in, you feel ridiculous at first because it's like, I have a millionaire mind. And I was like, wait, how do I go from, like, making 100 grand to a million doll? That's a very large gap to fill. But I also started thinking, what would it feel like if I had abundant money? So instead of thinking a million dollars, it was like, what would I feel like if I didn't feel scared to spend this at the grocery store? What would it feel like if I didn't freaking look at the Greek yogurt price and wig out?

Yeah.

What would I feel like if I was like, are you serious? 10 cents a bag? Why?

That is crazy.

But it's good. But it is good. So I started to notice where I felt fear around money. And what I would do is start to release that feeling. So it's not like I would go overboard on spending. I would just start to say, I'm getting this anyway. And I would start to notice a fear around when I was at the checkout or whatever that looked like, and start to be like, no, I'm abundant. Like, I have the ability to make more money. I have the ability to think bigger. I have the ability to create income or create a project that I can make money from. And I started noticing that there was a lot less fear around spending. And as bills came in, I would thank whatever the bill was for. So whether it was for my cable or for my Internet or for my car or whatever it was, I'm like, thank you so much for providing me with X, Y, and z. So whatever that bill provides me with. And then I think about all the people getting paid as well. So there's so many different things that you can go to. To think about. Wow. Money is actually so awesome. It is a massive tool. So that was one way that really started getting me more abundant. But I started looking for proof about people who were able to flip their income really quickly just by what they're thinking or doing or what their programs were. Because nowadays we really do have the power to be able to kind of create programs or ideas from nothing. Put it on the Internet, like, you could. I could sit here with you. We could make a bracelet and put it on Etsy and potentially have sold it within the hour, which is nuts. It's nuts. So that's what you have to start thinking is not like, oh, my God, I have to work more hours at my job, or, what does this look like? Get another job. Oh my God. I'm never gonna be able to do this. And it's like, show me evidence of other people who are making money in different ways. And for me, that was really huge. That's when network marketing came. That's when I started looking at the people who are able to make that. And I wanted to know their habits. So there's always proof in abundance. It's not just like, I'm telling you, be abundant, like just start thinking abundant. It's like start researching people who are abundant and what their habits are. There's always proof, there's always clues. There's always habits that you're probably not doing. And the reason that you don't think it's possible yet is because maybe you know, you're secretly not ready to either do those things or handle that abundance. This is a, this could be a really long conversation, but I say we do one more question. Lindsay.

I hope that that was a great question.

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Oh, this is really good. This is from at Chef Dark Cocoa. When walking away from situations that no longer so serve you, why does it feel so effing crappy?

This is such a good question. The handle that's so good. This is a Chef Dark cocoa.

Chef Dark Cocoa.

I don't know whether to like is that savory or sweet? I don't know. Okay. Why does it feel so crappy? Because it's unfamiliar and it's scary. And this is one of the biggest things that is like my truth and my North Star. It does not feel good becoming the highest version of you. There are moments that feel good and once you have also gotten to really like start living in your purpose, it feels great. But honestly, it's like a workout. Like that's like asking why does it feel so crappy sometimes to lift heavy at the gym? Well, because in order to get a different result, you have to do something different. And if you want extreme results, you have to do something extreme. If you want very small results, you're going to make very small shifts. But it depends on how fast you Want to do something. And I'll tell you that if you're not, if it's something totally new to you, it's better to make smaller shifts, shifts over time. Unless you're just to that breaking point where you're at rock bottom and your back is up against the wall. You might have to do some big shifts, but that's okay, because you have nothing to lose. If you're at rock bottom. No, that's sometimes the best place to be. But the reason it feels so crappy is because it's not comfortable and you are making massive changes that you are not used to at all. I just heard the best quote. It was or. Life is hard for two reasons. Either you're staying in your comfort zone, or you're leaving your comfort zone. Isn't that good?

That is good.

Oh, my God. So my friend Amanda Bucci said it, but I'm. I'm not sure if it was her quote or not. But anyway, that's like that quote from Hope Floats.

Have you seen that movie Hope Floats?

Yes.

Remember how they talk about, beginnings are scary, endings are sad in the middle? I totally messed that up, but I messed everything up.

Look up that hope for it. But what is it about? What's the main thing?

I think it's just about transitions and going through stuff. You know, life is full of changes.

And that's the only. Like, change is the only thing that you can count on. And I think a lot of the reason we feel pain is because we have an expectation or we want things to stay the same, and they're just absolutely not going to. So the more that we can accept that change is a part of it, it actually doesn't feel as crazy. You're like, okay, this is just a season. And the best thing about change is that for all of you who are in a season right now, it's. It's going to change. Like, you can't stay in winter forever. It's actually impossible. You're going to. That version of winter is going to change. It's going to look different. And winter's important, too. Like, oh, yeah, change is so vital for what's coming next. You don't want to stay the same. You get stagnant. If we're doing it right, we're evolving. So, like that quote said, just, life is hard for two reasons. You're in your comfort zone or you're out. And I'm telling you, both are painful. So I will always choose the pain with the reward on the other side, which is growth. And evolution. So I have just loved all of these questions.

Me too. People should write more questions.

You guys need to write questions and send to.

Oh, we can do it on Instagram.

Oh, yeah, we'll do a Q A Instagram. Or they can. Amazing.

They can always send them to customer service@loriharder.com customer service@lorihar.com.

So if you have a burning question, it's got to be burning. Maybe itching as well. Yes. If you have a cortisone question, we've got.

If you have a bee sting.

This is not sponsored by cortisone, by the way. Unless they want to sponsor. Just kidding. I don't think it's natural. Okay. All right. Just put coconut oil on it. I don't know. That seems to work.

Coconut oil. That was today's lesson.

Coconut oil. Yeah. We have so much more to say but we just. We need to stop. Okay. So thank you guys so much. Send your questions in. We will also do some swipe ups so you can. Or we can put the questions on instastory as well.

Yes.

Let us know what you thought of this. If you loved it, let us know. If you didn't. Don't let us know.

And don't tell us if you didn't.

Just unfollow. Just kidding.

All right.

And sending you guys so much love. And I, I really hope that you got a little flavor of Evans today because she has been lighting up my life since 1982. Just kidding. Last year. And we're signing off. We don't have a sign off yet.

We don't.

We need to come up with one.

Until next time.

You'Re happy. Bye, everyone. Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment, tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear. More of it would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, and don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again, guys. Bye. Bye.