283: You Will Get Caught Being Yourself

I had to fail so many times and I had to be let down so many times. And I also had to watch my expectations get completely shattered before I learned how to release expectations and really open myself up to the magic. Welcome to the Earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves, get ready to earn, own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me?

Here we go.

Welcome back to the Earn your happy podcast and it's time for another quickie because there is always time to fit in inspiration and I have been having such a roller coaster year and I really want to share this because I think it's so vital for people to know that becoming your highest self truly is the hardest, most challenging thing that you will ever do and it will never end. And I recently just got back from back to back to back speaking events and I am actually on my way to New York City right now and then to fly down to Florida to get on a boat to go through the Bahamas on the Oprah Winfrey Holland America cruise to go and speak on her annual cruise with Masten Kipp and the whole Oprah Magazine team. So I am very, very, very excited, a bit freaked out. When I say a bit, I mean like completely in the best way though as well. Because honestly, I've just kind of let go of all expectations around whatever that means, right? Whenever we something comes into our reality that we have been wishing for for a very long time to also realize that that came into your reality because you had manifested it or because you are ready for it. And whatever happens, I talk a lot about this, that in order for me to work through fear, I have to fully accept anything that can happen. And I also have to accept that it may not go the way that I want. And I also have to accept that no one thing, opportunity or person can make or break my life, right? That is up to me and how I react and how I respond and that ultimately I have to really decide what matters in my life and who I want to be responsible to. So once you get real clarity on those things. And believe me, this takes a long time. I had to fail so many times. I had to be let down so many times. And I also had to watch my expectations get completely shattered before I learned how to release expectations and really open myself up to the magic. So as I'm thinking of this experience that's coming up, I'm really letting go of any expectations around it. So that's what's going on for me right now. And I'm about to get on an airplane literally in one hour. But I had to come in here and come and talk to you guys because I try. I love to do these kind of right in the moment. That's really powerful for me to be able to talk about what's going on in process with all of you, because I am a verbal processor. So if you take one thing from this, talk to yourself out loud. I don't know, record it. It helps. So a couple things. I want to chat with you today. Oh, man, where do I even begin? Because I've been doing so much stuff. So when you do a lot of scary things, you have a lot to talk about. And you actually are like. You feel so vital on the other side. I feel so alive. Like, I not felt this alive in a really long time. And I know it's because I'm doing the things that scare me. So I want to chat with you today about, sooner or later, you will be caught being yourself. So I had heard Andy Frisella say part of this quote, and I kind of tweaked it into something that just marinated and, like, landed on my soul. And he said, you know, sooner or later, you're going to get caught. Like, if you don't show up in the places as yourself. Because he's so unapologetically himself. He's like, you'll see me in Vegas. I'll be out. I'll be gambling. I'll be yelling, I'll be drunk. He's like, I'm fun loving.

I'm.

I'm. Sometimes I get out of control. And he goes, I don't care who sees me, because this is who I am behind closed doors. And I'm going to be who I am behind closed doors, out in public. And I thought, oh, my God, that's such a freeing thing to say. Like, so then I thought, you know, what if I don't start being me now, like, fully me, whatever that looks like, and give myself, you know, the permission in order to do that, sooner or later I'm going to get caught Being myself. And when I am, I don't want it to be a big shock to everyone. So some things that I've been trying to do is just show more of myself, which I have some things coming up, such as I have a Q and a Tuesday. Actually, it might be a Wednesday. So a Q and A podcast that is coming out next week, I believe. Maybe it's this week. I don't know. We'll figure it out. Go look on my podcast, like how I do things. It's just. It doesn't have to be perfect. You'll figure it out. And I am really allowing myself to show up there as myself, and I'm trying to figure out what that looks like even more. Also showing up on my podcast as myself. And this is crazy, but a few things that I've been. Obviously, I've been doing some spoken word lately. That's something that I've been hiding that I have not shared because I was too scared. I love to sing. So you might get a podcast where I'm randomly singing and I will take requests. So please let me know if you want me to sing a song incorporated into my podcast. I will try to sing you something. And some of you are like, oh, my God, please do not do that. But you know what? It's me. So sooner or later, I'm going to get caught singing and you're going to like it because that's the story I'm sticking to. Another thing is, even when I wrote my book, like, I swear in my real life, so that's just where I'm at right now. Will I swear forever? I don't know, but it serves me right now. So it's just who I've been. And I thought, you know what, if I don't actually write how I speak, that wouldn't be the truth because I'm trying not to offend people. And I was just at an event where a woman stood up on stage and she said, I am giving you permission to offend, because offending is not you trying to hurt someone. It's you being you. And it's up to the other person to actually take offense. And then it becomes your journey to release it, let go and love yourself no matter what. I'm giving you permission to offend. How powerful is that? I'm actually going to have her on the podcast, so I'm very excited about it and we're going to talk all about that. So that will be coming up. I'll probably use that title. So sooner or later you're going to get caught being yourself. And what does that look like? Are you goofy? Are you weird? Do you have like a really off color sense of humor? And who are you protecting? Who are you ultimately protecting? And do you really want those people in your life? Now listen, I get it. There are points where I definitely censor myself to not be outlandish or to draw attention or to offend, right? I'm not going to purposely offend. But if, if I'm in an area where people are coming to see you or it's a safe place, I am definitely going to be myself. So. And I'm working this out, as you can hear, I'm definitely working this out. There are people who will disagree with this and say you should be yourself everywhere. But I believe I also for me, a value system for me is that I want to be respectful and not be polarizing in certain areas of my life or at certain people's events or at certain things. So I'm gonna kind of feel it, ask what they are comfortable with and abide by that. So if I know I'm in a at an event where, you know, maybe there's a lot of people who would get easily offended, that's probably not going to be the place for me where I'm just going to let her rip, right? Because there are many versions of me. It's not that I'm not being myself, it's that there are many versions of me. But I am going to show what I truly, for the most part am like. So there, there is discernment. So you can be yourself with discernment, right? So I also want to share, you know, you guys have been saying keep doing spoken word and I'm getting so many downloads right now that I feel like I can just share little clips of it. So I have about a 30 second spoken word poem for you, just about embracing all parts of yourself and knowing that it's all parts of the journey. I don't have a name for this yet I do swear in this. So if you have little ones in the car and they're not used to hearing that, you don't want them to hear that, then you can just turn this part of the podcast off. I'm going to take a little sip of my drink right now. How are you guys today? Am I in the car with you? Am I on a run? Where am I right now? I love seeing all of the stories, so please keep sharing with me. Let me know where you're at. Let me know if you have a song request. Let me know if you have a thought request and please send in your questions. You can send your Questions to customer serviceaurieharter.com Cause I am doing that ask me anything Q and A series on the podcast now so you can tune into that. That's 20 to 30 minutes. I actually have my awesome hilarious assistant who is on there with me and I'm warning you we do talk about really random things while answering questions as well and we give you shout outs. So we shout out you your question and your instagram handle ask people to go follow and that is also where we shout out review of the week. So a five star review of the week. We shout out your name and we send you an earn your happy coffee mug. Yeah, who doesn't want mugs mugs over drugs you guys.

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Okay, so here we go. Spoken word poem is very brief because I'm not done yet. I'm apologizing. I'm talking apologize for being myself. Here we go. I looked up at the sky and asked for a sign to guide me to my answer and channel the divine. And right on time, I got the answer. But it was not the one I expected. It felt more like all doors were closing. I felt isolated because I was getting rejected. I spent weeks in pain, wondering where the magic went. Why do I feel so out of alignment, so disconnected, so spiritually spent? We think that in order to be walking in our purpose, we need to feel good. And that's another lie to keep us consumed in our to do list of should I, should be this, I should do that, hide this, suppress that, fuck that. The way to the light is to have grace and embrace the dark. Pain is a part of the journey. It's not a walk in the park. But it just takes belief in your connection to rekindle a spark. You can't take the darkness out of a room, but coming in contact with someone else's light can mirror your bright truth and remind you to bloom. All right. Ooh, I was getting into that. That's all that I have right Now. But I do think that this poem is going to go on to be like a five minute poem because I can feel and I love sharing this creative process for all of you creatives out there who are doing anything, putting out any content. I can feel this coming through because this came from a place of where I think if you guys were listening to the Quickies and the podcast. I went through kind of a rough year this year. Not in a bad way. I'm still nervous. Like, eventually I will stop shaking when I share that. Like, I'm gonna share what I feel right now. I feel freaked out that I'm gonna offend people with my big swear bomb, but I also love it. So there you go. I'm sharing super raw and super vulnerable. But anyway, sooner or later I'm gonna get caught being me, and I pretty much just got caught being myself. So I'm gonna have to love myself regardless of everything. And I love who I am and I want to share that with everyone because it feels like truth for me right now. So anyway, I can tell that this is coming through because when I say rough year, I mean, I just, I. I'm. I'm really. I feel like I'm transcending into a new space. And the transcension and the path to that new space feels really scary. And I've shared that as you become, you know, the next version of yourself, there's a free fall. Sometimes we're leaving people, sometimes we're leaving things that we really liked behind, but they're not serving us the way that they were anymore. Right? What got us to this place and what felt good once may may now feel very constricting. It may not feel like you anymore. It's like a wardrobe. What you wore last year, even though you felt amazing and had the most incredible times in that dress and those jeans and that outfit, now you put it on, you're like, this no longer feels like me. This no longer feels like me. And you know what feels like me is that crazy new trend that so many people are avoiding, but I'm a obsessed with. And it's bold and it's big and it's bright. And it's gonna, like, offend some people, and it's gonna be way too much for some people. Put it on, try it on. You'll never know until you try it on. You have to try it on. You have to wear it out. And I don't know about you, but I've had those moments where I've left the house. I'm Running late. I'm in an outfit that I'm like, all of a sudden is making me sick because I'm like, oh, my God. I I this was, like, a bold thing for me to do. I left the house, I have no time to go and change, and now I' to show up at the party and just rock it. And that's the decision point. That's the decision point. You have to commit and decide and say, well, if I can't go back and change, and my soul said, put this on, then now I have to make the decision to show up fully and just rock this thing. That's it. There's no, like, I feel stupid. Does this look bad? Oh, my God, this is too much for me. And stand hunched over in the corner. Walk in like you freaking own the place, right? And people will be drawn to your light. And you can be that person, like in the poem that says, coming in contact with someone else's light can mirror your bright truth and remind you to bloom. So when I see someone who's, like, unapologetically them in the corner, I'm like, oh, my God, look at that pink hair. Look at that crazy outfit. I love that person. Just owning that beautiful boldness. So, you guys, sooner or later, you're gonna get caught being yourself. How soon do you want to do it? It feels so, so good. Yes. You're gonna offend some people. I'm giving you permission. Spend just like that beautiful woman said on stage, who I'm gonna have on the podcast. I can't wait. Okay. Sending you guys so much love today. And until next time, earn your happy. Bye, everyone. Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought and honest comment. Tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until the then don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again, guys. Bye. Bye.