293: Q&A Day: Recognizing Habits, Finding New Goals & Being EPIC

Make yourself feel amazing. Whether that's a dance class, whether that's writing, whatever that is, ask yourself, how can I make myself feel amazing today? Because that is how you're gonna help other people. That is where you're gonna actually make an impact. Welcome to the earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest, a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul, and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business, and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves, get ready to earn, own, and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Welcome back to the podcast. I'm so excited that you guys are here. And it is another Q A day, which means that I'm sitting across from another human being.

It's me, Evans.

Could you do it in your accent? It's me.

That's not an accent that I have.

Hello.

I'm a little person named Evans.

Now in your pocket. Oh, I love when you're in my pocket. That's so weird.

It's weird to be in here. Let me out, Lori.

Okay. All right.

So that was weird.

That was awkward. So we are going to talk about Bliss Project for a minute. Do you know why?

Because we love it.

And it's coming up in March 2019.

First. Now, in the future.

Three times is a charm. Okay, so first weekend in March. We hope that you're there. You guys, tickets sell out so fast. We're way over half sold out.

Oh, yeah.

And we haven't been talking about it.

I know. Which is. I mean, it is the best.

It's the best. So we want you in the room. It is in Newport Beach, California. If you live anywhere that's not warm, I'm telling you, this is kind of where you want to be. Three days of incredible connection, self development, meditation, yoga, dancing. I have, like, the most awesome performers coming to this one. I can't wait.

Don't tell, though.

I know. I'm telling you. You could pay this ticket price and you would just see some of these performers. It's not Justin Bieber.

Yeah, it's not Justin Bieber this year.

No, not this year, but maybe next year.

2020.

Yeah. What does he sing?

Oh, what does Justin Bieber sing? Baby, Baby, baby.

That's old Biebs.

Oh, yeah.

That's like baby. Hashtag Baby Beebs.

Yeah. Baby Biebs is. Baby Biebs is married now.

Yeah. That's really good.

Congratulations on your nuptials.

If you're listening, we're so happy. If you're listening. All right, so join us at The Bliss Project, theblissproject.info to get all of your goodies. I don't know. All of the goodies.

Goodies.

My goodies.

My goodies.

My goodies. Not my goodies. All right, so let's go to the Q A before we lose people. So review of the week.

Oh. Review of the week comes from K. Bass. Oh, I love her handle at Kass Gold. And good vibes.

Very cool. So good.

Lori Harder knows what's up and speaks to my soul. I love that. If you're on a journey to truly love yourself and find your happy, you absolutely need to have this podcast in your life.

I'm on a journey. We're all on a journey. I picture us all pioneers on a wagon cart.

Ooh, Like Oregon Trail. Yeah.

I love that review. Thank you so much for that review. We will send you a mug. Yes. So that's coming your way. And earn your happy mug so that you can drink coffee or tea or a turmeric latte. Ooh, fancy. I know. Yeah, it's called a golden milk latte.

Oh, that would be perfect, because she's golden. Goodbye.

She will love that. Turmeric latte coming your way. Okay, so let's go to Q and A.

Okay, we're starting. This one is from Underscore Angela Underscore Jones. She asked, how do you train your brain to be productive even when you're not feeling it?

Oh, man. Well, first of all, let's just talk about being a human. So not feeling it is actually pretty much wired into us because we're wired to survive. And now that we have all of our comforts taken care of, most of us, if we are lucky enough, we have, especially in the United States, we probably have a house and a job and access to clothing and food. So it's kind of like we actually do have to rewire ourselves to get motivated. And the way that I do that is to make sure that I'm moving my body in the morning, but also that I'm meditating or visualizing. And that's the time for me to really refocus on what the goal is or get clear on the goal, because there's massive points in my life where if I just accomplish a goal now I'm learning to maybe celebrate it and take some time, but then I want to get back on a track again because it's really easy once you lose momentum or once you take some time to celebrate and enjoy life. That if you are a goal oriented person, you're finding that maybe you're not feeling as. As motivated or happy as you normally do when you are going for something. Because I believe that people are the happiest when they're evolving and when they're going for a vision in their life or when they're improving something. That's my pure belief. So I think it's really vital to get the habits and the rituals locked in to make sure that you can get more motivated. And also I wanna reflect on the flip side of this to say there's gonna be. There's just gonna be days. Mama said there would be days like this, there'd be days like this. My. There are gonna be days where you are not feeling motivated and that's when the grace comes in. So if we're talking like six out of the seven days you're not motivated and this is like a continual thing, I'm guessing your habits aren't strong enough and the people you're hanging out with are not enforcing good habits. So first of all I would look at your habits and say, do I have a visualization practice where I get clear on what I want or when I'm focusing on it for minimum 5 minutes a day or 10 minutes a day. So I set my alarm in the morning. Chris does this with me. Most of my meditations are more like visualizations because for me I wan feel the feeling of the goal that I desire. I want to see myself doing that thing. I want to really get clear on what my action step for that day should be. And I want to feel driven to go and get it. And I can't do that if I can't see it and really focus on it. And then also I only hang around people who feed my vision now. Like I used to have people who didn't. And I just. It's going to set you back. So it depends on. And I'm not saying stop hanging around your family permanently or anything like that, but if they are taking away majorly from your vision or you're not feeling good around them, I'm telling you, you might want to lessen time with those people who are taking away from your soul. Because there's this quote which we'll talk about, oh, this is so good. Every minute spent being unhappy is 60 seconds taken out of your happiness. Obviously we know that. Wait, I totally slaughtered that quote. So I'm going to tell you something amazing. Hold on.

We're excited about it.

You should be. I'm just kidding. I don't know. Wait, this is so good. I have to find it. Let's see. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Maybe I don't have it. You know what, Nevermind. I don't know. So time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time. That's just a quote that I read right now. That's not the quote that I wanted.

But it's a great quote.

It is a really great quote. But anyway, back to the question is make sure that you have the habits and the people around you and to lessen time with the people who are taking away from your happiness. And I think that that's vital because you only get one shot at this life. And it also makes room for the other people to come in and it trains the people that if they're treating you, but we teach people how to treat us. So if, if I would have continued to show up in these relationships that were harming me or did not feel good in the way that I was before, it was teaching them that it's okay to speak to me that way, or it's okay to degrade my dreams, or it's okay to tell me I'm not good enough for that, or it's okay to say you're not that fun anymore. Whatever that was. And until I started standing up for myself and then taking myself out of that, whether it was my family, because a lot of it was, or whether it was friends, they kept treating me that way. So nobody learns from you saying, oh yeah, keep on wiping your feet on me, I'm your welcome mat. Like, that's not how people learn. They learn by you standing up, you saying the thing over and over again and why it's important to you that they speak to you in a different way, different way or by you taking yourself out of the situation.

Yes.

So did you know one of the main ways that a dog learns is that removing, like to remove your attention from the dog when it's doing something that's not good to take yourself out of the room. So I'm pretty sure that's how it works with humans too. Like remove yourself from the situation or the dog's just like, it doesn't matter what I do, this human's always going to be here so I can continue to bite but if you go behind another door or if you remove yourself from the situation, they want your attention so bad that they're willing to do whatever it takes, like after a while to get your attention again and stop doing the thing that they're doing.

Yes.

So that's how I started to train Waffles from not jumping up.

That's good, because Waffles is so great.

Well, she's 12, but she was real naughty for, like, six years. Yeah, we gotta breathe it out. Breathe it out. Breathe out the crazy.

Do you want a new question?

I would. You know what? Let's go to our quotes. Quick quotes. Because if you guys listened to last week, we are picking quotes based on the way that we feel in this moment. And we're picking a quote randomly two minutes before we start. Yes. So that we can talk about it. And because I love quotes. So, Evans, what's your quote and why does that apply to you today?

Well, I really like to worry about things. Oh, I'm a great worrier.

Okay, great.

So my.

Almost like a worrier.

Yeah. Worry warrior. Mine is worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it never gets you anywhere. So.

Good.

Just stop worrying.

Yeah. Do you know I'm going to give you another one that actually helped me stop worrying.

What?

Are you ready?

Yes.

Worry is a prayer for chaos. So I heard Gabby Bernstein say that one, and I was like, you're actually. It's actually almost praying for it to happen. When you think about it, it's like a manifestation. So releasing it. The best thing that you can do is actually pray for the person or the event or the thing and just send it love. Otherwise it actually can feel like you're living it now. And it's a manifestation, which, you know, because I was a worry worrier as well. And now when I do it, I'm like, nope. Remove the fear thought. Not getting any. It doesn't. It is a rocking chair. You go. You actually stop doing things in your life.

No offense to rocking chairs, though.

No. I love me a good rocker. Me too. Oh, my gosh. So good. Okay, so one of mine is let's talk about happiness. And this is Abraham Lincoln, one of my favorite quotes.

Oh, Abe. I know.

Follow him on Instagram. Just kidding. I don't know. Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be. God, I say that every day because I'm like, I feel groggy and I'm like, no, I'm choosing groggy right now. Like, yes, it's a legitimate fact. I may feel groggy. Yes. But the more that I focus on it, the more I'm going to do things that make me feel groggier because I'm like, I feel groggy and I'm in the pantry now, I'm going to find something sugary to feel groggy or. And I'm like, it's 8:30, so in the morning. And then I'm like, no, you get to pick today. Like, you get to be grateful. You could call somebody. You could go do something. You could move your body. You could put on. Oh, my God. You could put on the Jessica Simpson Christmas album. Yes, totally. What I did today. Love it. One more quote for you because I loved this one. This one has a lot of freedom because I think that we can be busy bodies. Evans. Oh, yes. You ready for this one?

Love it. Tell me.

Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time. Marth trolley curtain. Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time. So sometimes when I'm like, I don't know, just randomly looking at stuff online that I love or when I'm being creative or when I'm like, writing in my journal or things like that, I'm like, oh, I could be doing something different. That's not wasted time. That's actually things that fuel your soul, right? Like dancing. Or when we stop, like, in the middle of our meetings over and over and we put on music and do things like that. I'm like, this is actually so important to connect and as humans and to have fun along with different things. So.

Well, we have a lot of, like, think about colonial times when they were just sitting there reading their books and they were dancing and playing the piano and singing each other.

You know what I mean? That's not wasted time. Colonial time is the best.

Colonial times, I just think we have. We tend to think we need to fill every moment with, like, oh, that's Evan.

Don't worry. She's on colonial time.

I'm on colonial time.

She's not getting her projects that she's on colonial time. She's a little.

A little colonial. Great lesson.

Great. One more question.

I would love to give you a question. And it is kathleenparent. CA says, how do you know what your next goal is? How do you prepare yourself for the day to be an epic human being?

Okay, awesome question. How do I know what my next goal is? I'm kind of sitting in this right now, to be honest with you, because I don't know what my next goal is right now. So what I'm doing, I was reminded. So I'm a huge Rob Dyrdek fan. Like, mildly obsessed. Because everything that he says literally feels like, if my soul was a lot wiser, that's what I would be saying.

Colonial.

If I wasn't so colonial, I would be Rob Dyrdek. Okay. But it really lands for me. I'm like, yes. You know when you hear something, you're like, oh, my God, that's truth. That's my truth. So he talks a lot about setting up a life that is, like, truly the life that you want to be living. Like, the whole reason why you're here and the way that he does this is following the energy. And this has been huge for me to say what brings me energy? Because that's how I want to feel every day. I want to feel vital, I want to feel alive. I want to feel in the energy. So if you're asking questions like, what brings me money? You're probably going to feel like the walking deer dead. Even if you're like, oh, yeah, this is going to bring me a lot of money. Because I will tell you, I've done things that bring in a lot of money, and I'm like, either exhausted or not excited anymore, or you won't stick with those things.

Right.

And you'll also change all the time. So give yourself the freedom. Are birds flying at the window?

Yes.

Wow.

They want a message.

They want in on this. They're like, I have a question.

Tell us the answers.

You can ask the next question. Where are the worms? Where are the worms? Okay, so must have been a colonial bird. I don't know. Which colony are you from?

Where's your piano?

Okay, so follow the energy. So that's how you're gonna find your next goal is. It may not be like, the next huge business goal, but what I would say is, say, where do you get lit up the most? And then I would say, what is something that I could do around that that could potentially bring me money? Or what do I enj. Start doing that as a hobby or start being known for that, or even start doing it a few hours a week? And you would be amazed at what opens up for you when you actually start following the energy and the creativity. It's crazy. I really believe if you're like, oh, I love spoken word, I think you can start to create a career on that now. The things that you love the most and the things that I think are gonna be your biggest just your. The things that bring you the most joy and Potentially the most income are definitely going to take time. They're the things that you have to kind of cultivate, you have to kind of nurture, you have to kind of look at it. You know, how is this going to be? How can this bring in money for me later on?

Like Farm Girl Flowers. Yes. You should tell that story about yesterday.

Oh, me thinking that they were like an overnight success.

Yes.

Shout out to Farm Girl Flowers. So we give flowers all the time, whether it's for podcast guests or whether it's for people who have helped us out along the way. We are giving flowers like a few times a week. Yes, for sure. So we found this company that we absolutely love called Farm. Farm Girl Flowers. The cutest flowers ever. Hashtag not sponsored, not an ad and. But wouldn't mind it being sponsored. Come on, Farm Girl, spend. I don't know.

We're colonial.

Send the books.

Send in the books.

Okay, that'd be bouquets.

All right.

So then yesterday we noticed that they got like all of these new arrangements and we were so excited about it. And I was like, oh, my God, they must have gotten funding and got all these new arrangements. And then on the email they sent me, it said, celebrating our eight year anniversary. So here I am thinking, must be nice, like, to have your awesome passion just explode overnight. Which felt like a year to me because I've only known of them for a year and they seemed super small at first. And this has been eight years in the making to finally have this site that's now really abundant with amazing flowers and have it set on there, 100 employees. But you and I are sitting here thinking, oh, must be nice to have this overnight success. So I can imagine she started with bouquets books in, like, just her local community.

Sure.

With maybe one bouquet. It was probably her or him or whoever's behind Farm Girl. I'm guessing it's a girl. It's a woman. Yes. A woman who likes farms. I'm guessing that she started just maybe on her own, in her own house. So, you guys, I'm sure she had some other gigs going on. Like maybe she was working on the farm.

Right. But eight years.

Yeah.

Didn't happen overnight.

Yeah, we don't know. I mean, I. I doubt she was working on a farm, but we don't know. Yeah, we don't know. But maybe to say, like, this is my passion. So we're gonna have to find more out about her story.

She could call and tell us.

Yeah, she might be a call in. We don't.

We have a phone here.

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Ring, ring. We're taking pledges. Yes. All right. Okay. Another one.

Oh, the second part. Oh, wait, the second part.

How do you start an epic day? Was that it?

How do you prepare yourself for the day to be an epic human being?

Oh, man. Well, that is like a. That to say to be an epic human being. I mean, that's. I'm striving for that daily, but it feels like I hit the first ladder rung on a ladder. Rung of thousands. I don't know. So being an epic human being, well, to me, I just. I really. I know that when I feel good, I'm much nicer, I'm happy, and I want to help other people. So for me, I, first of all, lower that because epic is, like, really hard to strive for every day. I really feel like we can only be epic once a year. January 1st on Christmas Eve with a hot toddy. I'm pretty epic then.

That's the only day you're epic.

So, first of all, I kind of lower that expectation for myself. And I say, how good can I feel? Because when I feel freaking amazing, I literally want to sprinkle fairy dust on people. And I'm like, you get a car, you get a car. It's not a car, but it's like holding the door. Yeah, but if I was Oprah, I'd be giving away cars. So set yourself up to what makes you feel the best. That could be meditation. That could be a workout. I'm telling you, it's always healthy food, it's water. You're huge on hydration, Evans.

Love hydration stations at the airport.

So important. Make yourself feel amazing, whether that's a dance class, whether that's writing, whatever that is. Ask yourself, how can I make myself feel amazing today? Because that is how you're going to help other people. That is where you're going to actually make an impact. Because it's really hard to say, how can I be an epic human today? Like, how can I do epic things? If you don't really focus on how can I feel freaking amazing? Because from that place is where all the power comes from. Absolutely. Yeah. Connection, too. That's huge for me. If I want to be an epic human, I need, like, some conversation and connection and processing because I got a lot of process for sure. If I was food. I'd be processed. Just kidding. I'd be whole and grain and kale, like. All right, how do we feel?

Oh, I feel amazing.

Are you complete?

I feel excited to go to my colonial dance party tonight.

Oh, my God. That's like studio dancing. Colonial Club. I'm just kidding. I'm not. That would not surprise me, but I would. I'm absolutely not opposed.

Sorry about all the listeners you lost today.

We gained a lot of colonial people, though. Yeah. From the past podcast. Yeah, they love it. This. The spirit world. Loved it. All right, guys. Dancing all around you right now. Okay, thanks so much for tuning in. And the most amazing thing that you could do for a podcast, if you're still with us at all, you could could share this on your stories. You could text it to a friend. You could say, hey, check it out. I've never known that anyone else felt colonial like I did. Listen in. You are not alone. You're not alone. Okay, guys, have the most amazing day. And until next time, earn your happy. Bye, everyone. Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought and honest comment. Tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands people of. Of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again, guys. Bye.

Bye.