295: How to Use Positive Psychology to Get Results in Life and Biz with Niyc Pidgeon

Somewhere where you can put your faith and your intention that is so powerful in helping you realize a vision or find peace in your heart to be able to fully believe that you can actually create that goal that you want to create.

Welcome to the earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week, week, I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn, own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Hello, beautiful friends. Welcome back to the show. I'm so grateful that you are here and I cannot believe that it's that time of year where I have to remind all of you that the Bliss Project tickets are going to be going up. So you absolutely want to grab your tickets because we are three quarters of the way sold out for my annual event. I believe this will be my eighth one. Oh my gosh, how does that happen? Seventh or eighth and I can't wait to see you there. 500 plus women in total immersion ready to upgrade their lives, upgrade their feelings, upgrade their emotions and reach your highest potential. And honestly, just have a shit ton of fun. That's what I'm all about. So I pray that you get to come and join us at theblissproject.info. it is in sunny California. Come to Newport beach, first weekend in March, you guys. Beyond fun, performers, singers, dancers, oh my God. It's like everything that I love all in one place. And that's exactly what I did when I designed this weekend is I said, what are all the things that help me completely shift and what are all the things that I want to experience experience in a weekend? Who do I want to hear from? What do I think is most important for these people to take home? And what I want for you is to be able to have a reference point to try on who you really are in a safe environment and really have a no mean girl, no judgment zone. I don't put up with it. Like I literally create one of the safest spaces because I am the person who literally just cannot deal with any of that. So we're creating a beautiful space for you. To come and connect and feel so welcome. So I don't care if you come alone, you're not going to be alone for long. And if this freaks you out, then, you know, my whole theory is that's the X that marks the spot. If you want to shift in the fastest way possible, go to the scariest thing that you possibly can. And if this excites you, that also has something to offer you there. So meet me there first weekend in March and it is@theblissproject.info you can go and grab your tickets now. And my guest today is Nick Pigeon. She is a leading global success coach and positive psychologist. You guys know that I love positive psychology. Nick is obsessed with empowering women to create more joy. Yes, please. Personal power and unstoppable success within themselves and their businesses. She's on a mission to help a million women change their lives by the year 2020. And girl, she is well on her way. Nick proudly travels the world to speak on big stage stages and run her live events. She Young Entrepreneur of the Year in the uk she has been appointed as a supporting partner at United Nations Women UK as an ambassador of their one bracelet campaign to end violence against women, and has helped more than 10,000 women create business success. Nick has been featured in numerous mainstage media and her award winning and best selling book now is your Chance is a 30 day guide to living your happiest life using positive psychology. So this woman is literally changing the game and I love that she's using positive psychology to do it. You guys, her book now is yous Chance is so incredibly good and has won incredible awards. So go grab that. But first, listen in to this epic conversation to this woman who I'm so incredibly excited to get to know even better and I've gotten to spend time with. So let's get started. Nick, I'm so excited to have you on the show today. Thank you so much for coming on.

Of course. I'm thrilled to be here.

Okay, so guys, a lot of my podcasts I don't get to do in person, but this is awesome because we.

Can be in the house. I'm in the house right now.

Nick is in the house. I'm so thrilled that you're here. It's so funny how like all of a sudden I can see, I see your book cover and then you start coming into my world over and over and then we're showing up at dinners where each other are and then I got to go to your awesome mastermind dinner this Last weekend, which was amazing, at this place called Gracias Madre, which, if you ever are in la, you have to go to. So good. Can we just talk about that?

Eat the cauliflower. The cauliflower.

It's only about the cauliflower. Like, I don't know. It's about the ice cream, too.

Mm, that was good. I think someone took that home.

How do you take ice cream home? That's, like, so random. Just, like, refreeze it in its, like, liquid form. It's fine. That's really random. I love it, though. She ate it in the car. You know she did. She's like, I'm taking this home. And you're like, no, you. You're eating it in the car. Okay. Anyway, I would love for listeners who maybe don't know who you are just to share your story, where you're from and what you're doing now.

Of course. So I'm actually from the uk, as you can probably tell.

I love it. I'm gonna pick that up soon.

I'll give you some words. We'll do some words.

Okay, good.

So I'm from a place called Newcastle, which not very many people know where it is. It's in the north of. And I left there three years ago. So I left to write the book. I went for three months and I never came home. But before that, I had built up my professional career in positive psychology. So the science of happiness, how individuals, communities and businesses can learn to thrive. So I studied psychology, as usual, as we call it, when I was. Makes me feel old.

So, like, don't say no. Like, we're good. We're good.

Literally, like, 11 years ago now. Started learning about psych. But a lot of psychology is about what we do wrong or about how bad we feel about something or where this behavior has come from and what's gone on as a child to actually influence that. Positive psychology is like a breath of fresh air, and it focuses on human strength and virtue and what we do right as people rather than what we do wrong. So I really found my groove there. And I found, like, the science of gratitude and meditation and optimism. And, I mean, I know I'm totally biased, but what better career to have than one?

I totally agree.

Yeah. One that makes people happy and makes you happy in the process. So I went through five years at university to study that and then decided when I graduated from my master's degree that I wanted to set up a business, and I did that completely wrong.

Oh, my God. I need to hear about it. It's the best.

So I think, like when I started out, I wanted to just combine everything that I loved because when I was at university, I was a personal trainer as well.

Oh, wow.

Yeah, it's crazy. So I did that for 10 years. Yeah, I had this fitness thing that I loved and this coaching thing that I loved and then this passion for speaking. So I tried to wrap all of them in a business and it was amazing because it was my market research. It helped me to learn, it helped me to build a really strong local following in the uk. But I was making no money, or I was making money one month and then not the next month. So I was on this emotional roller coaster. So my finances went up, I went up, finances went down, I went down. And it was really, really hard and I really struggled to kind of really put together what I loved with actually making money. So it was hard at that time.

So when you would make money, what would it be on? So when you were making money and then when you wouldn't, what was happening? Like what was happening mentally at that time and what was happening, you know, in your world at that time?

I was pushing a lot, so I was really, really working very hard. And that's something that I've learned. I've pushed myself to burn out before and I think when you do what you love, it's a fine line between actually allowing yourself the space to rest and recover and pushing so hard to keep making more money, make more money, make more. So I was in that place and space because I was coming from a place of lack. I was coming from a place of being told when I had grown up, great upbringing. But no, Nicola, you can't have what you want. You can't have that brand new board game that all the other kids are having, but you can have this one that's down here somewhere. So I think I had this belief inside of my mindset and obviously as a psychologist, it's fascinating connecting these dots backwards, but I had this belief that I can't have what I want. But it's, you've got to work really hard in order to be successful.

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Mm.

Okay. I totally relate to that. And it's. It's so crazy how I'm so interested in positive psychology now as well. And also came from the fitness world and from also wanting to make money.

Did you have.

So with your mindset around money, and I know what you do now, and I also know that you've completely expanded your container to be able to hold a lot more abundance. Did you notice that you had work to do around your lack mindset around there? Or when did that start coming in that you were like, wow, I need to work on money mindset? Or was that even a thing for you at that time?

It's really interesting because I had to do a lot of personal growth before I even recognized that I had a negative money mindset. Because for me, it was manifesting in burnout, it was manifesting in turbulent relationships. It was manifesting in all of these chaotic experiences in my life that were making me feel like I didn't know what to do next. And I remember I had this. The most awful. Yeah. And it wasn't even that long ago. When I look at what was my rock bottom, it was only 2014.

Wow.

So I was. I had adrenal fatigue. I put on two stone in weight, which as a personal trainer was really frustrating for me.

You have to just say what stone is first because.

Oh, yeah, you guys don't use that to you. So it's like 14 pounds, one stone.

Okay.

Put on 28 pounds.

They're learning so much right now.

Straight away. Yeah. So I'd put on all of this weight. I was feeling really run down, and I was trying to keep on pushing and pushing and pushing, trying to be this positive psychologist that stood up and did the talks and coached the clients and motivated the people in the gym, but I wasn't feeling positive on the inside myself. And I remember the day where it all came crashing down and the day that was really my awakening. I walked into my ensuite bathroom in my bedroom, and I had a flashback to a time that was a few years before that when I'd actually been locked in a taxi or in what I thought was a taxi when I was on holiday in Spain and I was raped. So for me, that was the. The thing that I had to face before I could actually create what I wanted to create in my life. So I went through a really challenging time of going through counseling, working on my spiritual self, practicing meditation, really digging deep. Really scary time. But came out of the other end of it and was able to make more powerful decisions, was able to find that strength within myself. Because I've got now gone through the worst thing that. Or arguably the worst thing that a human could ever experience. So I know that when I work with women now and I see someone that potentially doesn't see their own strengths, I can see it in them before they can see it. Because I know the human spirit can survive any adversity and not just bounce back, but also come back even stronger than before.

I'm just like, first of all, I'm like, having a moment, because I don't know if you know that I share that exact story, really, right down to a taxi cab in Mexico. I'm, like, literally shaking. Like, I can't even. I can't even. I'm looking at you and I'm like, how is this happening right now? Like, I just felt for you so much.

Just like, that's crazy.

I'm. And I know what. That it was a spiritual awakening for me. So I'm very like. Like, I'm so intrigued. And I'm also a little bit, like, having a weird God moment. Like, a very surreal moment right now. So I. I, like, don't even know what to say. I am so sorry that that happened. But also, I know that if you. I just. It woke me up. Like, it was also something completely. It was the first time I got spoken to actually, like, through God. Like, that was just so real for me that it was such an awakening. But, man, I'm just. I'm like, still coming.

Still coming back from it.

I just was not expecting that story. I will share more with you later. But, wow, I'm just. What year was that?

That was 2012 that that happened.

Wow, that is insane. Hold on. I'm still. I'm like, still just coming back from that. So after that had happened and you got just therapy, it sounded like you went through therapy and you had worked through everything. And it sounds like. Because I think coming back from that, too, we can also get stuck in just therapy or talking about it. What was a big thing for you that helped pull you through or switch, how you were able to view the lens in which that happened? Because I think that for a lot of women, and I'm sure you've heard this, especially now that you've gone through something like that, we can get stuck in it. Yeah. So how did you not get stuck in that?

And I mean, I feel so blessed because I feel like I was. And it's hard to rationalize this and make it seem like it's an okay thing to say. But that was a blessing for me for that experience to happen on a soul level because it's allowed me to do the work for myself and almost lead the way for so many other women and men to do the same. So I had been practicing positive psychology from a place of feeling great and wanting to feel even better, which was awesome because I was the happy girl that kind of just glided through life and was working on my business, but felt really good most of the time. And then my world came crashing down and I was given the opportunity to put these tools to the test. So as well as the therapy, I used what I knew from positive psychology and I trusted in this amazing science. And I worked with gratitude and I worked with meditation and I pulled in as well my. My spiritual principles and that faith based knowing that everything would be okay. So it was me really putting the trust in what I knew and understanding that things like gratitude and meditation and movement, they're things that are proven in this science to help alleviate symptoms of anxiety and depression, which was exactly where I was at that time. I mean, I felt like my head was in a box and I couldn't think about the next hour, never mind the next day. But from that place and space, gradually things started to shift and I moved out of the isolation because it was a very isolating time. I didn't want to socialize, but I moved through that and came out of the other end and. And almost had a greater ability to teach because I wasn't just opening up a textbook anymore, Lori, and saying, like, here's the lessons, here's the teachings, here's the science. It was like, actually, you know what, guys? I've worked on this stuff. I've done the hard work, and I promise you that if you use these tools, you can and will feel better than you did before.

I'm so glad you share that because I think so many people listening right now are in a winter season or they're in that period in their life where they're like. Like, I can't even see my way through this. Like, I don't even know how I'm going to get out of this. Or every single day I wake up and I'm not excited to wake up. But that's the work that we're doing without even realizing we're in. The work that later on is going to be used and applied for something. Like if we're telling ourselves a story anyway, like if we're constantly Pitching ourselves a story every single day. It might as well be that your winter or that dark period or that thing that happened is going to help you connect with people later or help you share or help with a business or help with some help somebody that you love or people that you care about in some way.

Absolutely.

So giving it meaning.

Totally. So my final stage of healing that I went through and this was completely like self selected. It's not something that I would ever push on someone to need to do, but it felt like it was the right thing for me to do at the time. I found a deep level of gratitude for that experience and that really allowed me to release it even more. It allowed me to be able to see actually the power of being able to now stand on stage in front of a room of a thousand women and share that story and know that a third of people have experienced the same thing too.

Yeah, it's how you can relate to people. I know that when I'm looking for someone to give, get through something, I often want to know that they can understand what I'm talking about rather than just, well, they read this. So that's what works. But you lived it, you breathed it and you became, you know, you are a success on the other end. You found your happiness, you found purpose. So that brings us to what you're doing now. And you have a lot of things going on, which is a lot like me. And I kind of love that. I'm like, what are you all doing right now? Like, you have a book, you have all these different events. So tell me about what your life now looks like.

So I split my time between here in Los Angeles and Cape Town, so two completely opposite ends of the globe. And I've been running a really successful, amazing purpose led business for the past three years. So I invested three years in doing it wrong and I've now invested three years in doing it right, which is great. And within that, we coach women and female entrepreneurs specifically to help them find their power and to help them find their joy through entrepreneurship. So that's like my thing that I'm obsessed with because I see our entrepreneurial journey like the vehicle that helps us create all of this magic in the other areas of our lives. And it's, it's seeing those women that come to you to work. I'm sure you have the same thing too. And they're disempowered or they're scared, or they're nervous, or they're stuck. And then they free themselves so much by really taking their own journey, using their own story and forging a path that they can lead others down as well. So we have coaching programs, we have the big live events that we do all around the world. So we're, we've done Los Angeles, I've, I mean I've spoken all over, all over the world. But to be, to be able to do them in la, to be able to do them in New York, to be able to, to set up a live event, stand on stage, speak your truth, do what you love, support other women. I'm like, is this real?

I know. And that's the thing that I want people to hear is that it doesn't matter if you're doing that, especially on such an international level as well. Like that's a lot of people's dreams, especially listening to this podcast. But there's still always that is this real moment. But then there's also the I always knew this would happen moment. And then there's the but, holy crap, this is actually happening moments. Yeah. And what I want to talk about is, is there's a million things, but one of the things that stood out was when we were at dinner and you were talking about the mastermind and I was like, a lot of them come for the business and because it is entrepreneur based and they wanna learn about how to have this business. But you had mentioned it's a lot of we're working through self work and it's a lot of just wanting to be seen and heard and understood and communicate and feel supported. And at the end of the day I think that even when we're starting businesses, we're like, oh, we to need, need strategy and planning and structure. And while that is so important, it's like you could get all the strategy, planning and structure in the world, but if you are not working through what you need to work through, it can't be implemented. So what are you finding is some of the main things that are helping the women who are coming to you to take the next step? Because we just, I think it's just we're getting stuck.

If someone asked me personally what has been the best business tool that I've used, my response would be Kundalini Yoga.

You're like, what is that?

Yeah, so that's. Well, it's the yoga of awareness and it's something that I started practicing five years ago and it doesn't make sense that that would be the thing that has unlocked everything else. But I know that having a practice for me, it's like a morning ritual or somewhere where you can put your faith and your intention that is, is so powerful in helping you realize a vision or find peace in your heart to be able to fully believe that you can actually create that goal that you want to create. So obviously, being a psychologist, I work a lot with mindset. And we say that mindset multiplied by activity equals results. If you don't have the mindset in place, even if you are working frantically towards a goal, you're not going to get that result. So you need both of those elements in place. But then it actually, you can take it a step further and you can look at, you need to be physically healthy, you need to have the mental health, you need to be emotionally healthy, you need to have some sort of spiritual health as well. So it's drawing in and your relationships, your social element, drawing in all of these elements to actually make you a bigger, better business person is absolutely essential. And I used to think, I'm going to run a retreat or I'm going to run an event and I'm going to teach X, Y and Z. So I'm going to map it out. And we'll have session one will be this strategy and session two will be this one and have it really rigid and like something that was immovable and something that had anxiety around it and something that I was worried about teaching people enough or not teaching them enough. And this retreat has been amazing because I think I'm so strong and comfortable in myself now that I've set an intention and I've decided the topics and the things that I'm going to teach. But I've also allowed the spaciousness and I've allowed for conversation and contribution and breakthroughs. And I think if you continually pushing and trying to force something, force an experience, then it actually limits the potential of what can be created.

There are so many challenges to business that I don't want starting to be.

One of them for you. And when you want more.

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Oh my God. I. I love that because I used to do the same thing at my events. I was like, I need to know what's happening in every single moment. I'd fill it from minute to minute. And it was, it created so much anxiety because, because it doesn't come in that way. Like, it doesn't when you actually show up at the event. That's not how your mind and your soul and everything starts moving you there. And one of my friends, Christine Hassler, said to me, because I was so stressed around certain events, she was like, you can't plan. Like you have to leave space. You can plan certain things, but you have to literally leave like half hour, hour here, whatever. They're like, she's like, you need to create a container and leave room for the magic because it's going to come in. And that's where that Faith.

Yeah.

You're like, what Faith?

No, for sure. And it was like, it was just amazing to see. And I think I said to you the other night, I was like, I feel so proud to be surrounded by this awesome group of women.

Yes.

And I just looked around the room, I was like, this is really amazing. I'd invited some of my friends to speak and to share and to stand in their brilliance. And it was just such a blessing for you to be able to say, like, it's not all me, it's never all us, is it? Never the group, it's the other facilitators. So it was really beautiful, the transformations that the ladies had because they really put their trust in the spaciousness as well and they honored the process and they've gone away. They've all flown back to England or gone back to their lives here in LA and they're like raring a go like this for the, this end of the year.

That's so powerful because I don't know about you, but when, when I first got started and I'd love to hear what kind of how it shifted for you, but it was like you think of events or doing things and you just felt like you had. Either you had to do it on your own in order to get out there or I just felt like even when I did events, I. I was like, oh, I don't know how much I should give to this person or, or if I should invite these people in or what, what is the that supposed to look like? And now it's like the more women that I can bring in to cover the bases that I don't either. That I don't love to be in, that I was trying to be in because I think what can happen is in the beginning we're like, oh my God, I have to be an expert here, here, here and here. And now I'm like, eh, I don't really like talking about this. Let's bring her. And she's awesome. Like, eh, she's amazing. I'm not so good at that. So then it frees you up. So tell me what you do when you're thinking of putting something on. Like how do you start kind of calling into this tribe or creating this container to make sure everybody's like nurtured in what they need so we Always.

Start with an intention around what the experience is going to deliver in terms of a result. So we do that with all of our coaching programs, events. We're always like, right, what is the thing that the audience or the clients have got to walk away with at the end for them to feel like their experience has been a success? So we start with that and then we work backwards. So for example, we had the Cape Town retreat in March and we had that intention was around impact and influence. So I thought who would be the best people to actually support that intention? Then pulling in my friend Natalie Ellis. So she's got a grown, an amazing, amazing company with boss babe. So being able to actually put her in front of my audience so she can teach her wisdom and pulling in like my friend Lauren, who's a speaker coach. So it's more around like what is the intention and what do I want to, what space do I want to create and who would be the best people to actually complement that and share their wisdom to support that.

That's so, it's so powerful and it sounds, it's crazy because it sounds so simple like, oh yeah, start with the intention. But sometimes we don't do that because we're like, we feel like people need everything at once. And that's not necessarily, it's kind of like I feel like if they can walk away with kind of two or three really solid ideas because when we think back to us going to events, we're like, we really can only absorb Sometimes I'll leave and I'll be like, wow, I got like one thing that impacted my whole life from this. But I think for me in the beginning it was like coming from a place of lack of thinking that I needed to give everyone everything in order to be valuable. How did you separate that, that for yourself?

It's such a huge thing, such a huge thing. And to even, to even be able to admit that, I think it's a big step in that honesty and integrity. I mean it wasn't again, it wasn't that long ago that I was feeling like that. And it's through the work that I've done through my own self belief practices and through understanding that we can create results for the people that we support. And it's about their journey. It's. They're coming on this journey because they want to do the work for themselves, not have us do it, do it for them. So to know that there's an element of the people that are coming to the event stepping up and stepping into what feels True for them and what they want to create from the experience within this wider intention is something that is so free and so to know that every person is on a different journey and has a different map of the world and will take from the experience what they need at that time. You can put 10 women in a room and teach the same thing to all of them, and they'll all have a different experience of it. So we saw the biggest takeaway, I mean, from this week has been that the work that you do on yourself will always support the results you get in your business. And there was a few women that came to the retreat, and they were in the place and space of saying, actually, I haven't been looking at the stuff which is scary or the emotions that I've been feeling. I've just been pushing them to one side and hoping to be able to grow in my business. So the retreat allowed them to come away from their hectic lives, where they're doing, where they're their moms, where they've got the businesses when they're with their partners, because all of that demand your attention and your mental space. So they've now got space here in Los Angeles at this retreat, and they've been able to crack open. They've been able to cry. They've been able. Business retreat, crying. Totally how it went down.

I think it works.

Totally. I think that's when I have my.

Biggest breakthroughs, is you said something so valuable there. Just about all of the different thoughts and all the things that you're suppressing and all of the. They take up space. And your dream and your business and your whole purpose needs so much room. And it's being in a room of women that say. Or people who are just like. You have to make room. You have to confront it. You have to let it go. And you also have to know that you're not alone. Like, it's so powerful to get in a room of those women. I felt it at your table. Like, they were just like, oh, my God, we're, like, all the same. It's so. Like, whenever I would even share a story, they'd ask me a question. They'd be like, oh, God, that's so nice to know that that happens, too. I'm like, I'm here, so I can hear you say the same thing. That connection is so powerful to just. That's sometimes all that we need. You think you're not understanding something in business, but you clear space and you're like, oh, okay.

It was just.

I was taking up too much space with something. So, you know, what I'm starting to find in this conversation is just like a through line of value is coming through about finding your value, understanding your value, knowing that whatever room you go in or whatever, whatever you do, no matter what you went through, you're valuable. So how did you find your value and just cling to that and stay in that kind of zone of genius now? Because you do have a lot of interest, but I guess we kind of go all throughout, but you know what your value is.

It's through finding. I mean, for me, it's like finding what I love to do and finding what lights me up and following that energy. And I know this is exactly what you talk about. Like, it's finding that. That joy and that frequency of gratitude and leaning further into that. The stuff that. I mean, when you start out in a business, it's always going to be messy, it's going to be hard. You've got to try and test things. But I now know to look for the ease, so to look for the way through. And one of the ways that I learned this was actually before I was a psychologist. I was supposed to be a mechanical and automotive engineer. So completely bizarre career change. I know. And my partner, who at the time was a professional cricket player, was seeing a sports psychologist to help him improve his game. And that sports psychologist said to him, lie down on the couch, close your eyes, imagine that you're on the cricket pitch and you're actually into bat. When you look around the field, don't look for the fielders that you see around you, look for the gaps in between the fielders instead. So that hit me like a ton of bricks because I thought, well, that doesn't just apply to cricket or to sport, it applies to our lives. It's so easy to focus on what's going wrong or focus on that challenging conversation that you had with someone that didn't go the way that you wanted it to go, or the next bill that you've got to pay and that is going to attract more of what you don't want. So I've learned in life and business to go towards the ease, to lean into where the energy is, to do what lights me up, to collaborate with people that it feels fun to do this with and make every day count in terms of your happiness as well as your success and make sure you're just doing it for. For the right reasons and for the joy.

Oh, I love that. So what about when it feels. Because there are those times where it's like, like, okay, Nick, nothing feels. I can't even see what. Where the ease is because there are times, right, when we're. When you're in business and it's like the most important thing you need to do maybe has the most resistance around it. So can you explain the difference between when you need to lean into, like, writing a book? I was just thinking that. I was like, okay, well, if I.

Was going to look for where the.

Ease is, I would like, throw. Have thrown away my laptop and been.

Like, that was easy.

So explain the difference. Because there is a difference that you have to. You can. And I think being in the spiritual world as well, like, we can almost talk ourselves sometimes out of doing the hard thing. But, yeah, let's talk on that.

So I think, like, look for what the broader purpose is. So for me, a book was something that I could not deny that I needed to do. And it was. I used to want to write a textbook, but then as I evolved, the concept for the book evolved as well. And it became like this burning feeling inside of me where I had to get this information, this story, this wisdom out into the public. So someone asked me once, do you feel like, do you think that every business person and every influencer needs to write a book in order to be successful? And I said, no, absolutely not. However, why not write a book to put the tool in the hands of the people that need it in the format that they understand it the most? So for me, I've got this big mission of helping a million women transform their lives through positive psychology and entrepreneurship. And I see the book as a tool to do that. So for me, I've got like this big mission. And I'm thinking to myself, nick, you don't want to write the book. You don't want to sit and do the work because it feels hard, or you don't have the words right now, or you feel find something that's maybe quicker that you can procrastinate over and do first. But those million women are on the other side of these pages. Those million women need your help and support. And if you don't do this thing that feels like it is challenging you right now, you're not going to get the end result and you're not going to be able to have the impact that you desire and deserve to create in the world.

It's annoying. Like just what you described, if you're like, I don't know, I don't think I want to write one. Like, no way.

Just wait.

It might Come. It might not. It might come in a different form. But I totally agree. And I do think it's such a valuable tool. Like, it's actually even more valuable than I. And I knew it was valuable. But the more that I really realized what it's been able to do, I think it's been awesome. So it's like an amazing. I don't know, like, it's a. It's a much more long term, like, business card. I don't know.

I was going to say, you say that it's been awesome, but it's actually only just started.

I do feel that it's like the.

Beginning and it goes for so long and it creates so many other different things. I think I thought, right, okay, I get my book deal and then I'm done.

Yeah.

Then I'm like, right, I submit my first draft and then I'm done. And then I'm like, the book comes out and then I'm done. And it's like, your book is never done because that is the message that is gonna expand far and wide and touch people's hearts without you even needing to be present for that.

I got so, so much yes to that because I've actually gotten some really clear downloads that I'm not supposed to even be close to done yet with it. So I actually am doing a round two of my book tour because I'm not done. Like, I just, I'm so in the conversation. Right. Which I'm sure you are, because the conversation in your book is typically what your whole kind of life's theory is. So I want to talk about that too. So I have her amazing book next to me, which has an awesome cover. And if you're an author, you know that cover lover is a big thing. But it's called now is Your Chance, a 30 day guide to living your happiest life using positive psychology. And she was like. I was like, how. So how's the book? How's it going? And she's like, well, it actually won an award. And she told me what the award would. Please tell me what the award is.

Psychology book of the year.

Oh, my God. I just. You. It needs to stamp. Like, it really does. It needs, like one of those seals, like those.

Let's get one.

We're gonna get that.

It can be pink. It's going to be awesome. It's going to be on this book. So I do want to know about your journey on writing it, though, because it's like, it is a big deal to do that. What did it look like.

So I left the uk, like I said, and I moved away for three months to sit in the sun because I love the sunshine. Fills you up, gives you that creativity.

You look like you're from the sun, which is so weird that you're like, you not, you know, like. Because the UK's typically not sunny. Right.

But I live in South Africa, remember?

Oh, got it, got it.

So in between here and South Africa. We're good for South Africa.

Yeah, you're good. That's why you look like you're from this. She's like a golden goddess.

So thank you. I'll come back here more.

Yeah.

So, yeah. So I started the book, and I did what an academic person does, and I got the word count from Hay House, and I worked out backwards how many words I needed to write in each day. And I thought, right, okay, I'm gonna write that many ways.

It's so linear.

Literally was so linear. And then. Then I had a little bit. A lot of life that happened in my life. So I was across in Australia. I had launched my coaching business online, and I had the grand total of one sale for my group program.

Thank you for sharing that. Why don't more people share that? Okay, what happened after that? I just need to know.

Well, I decided that one person wasn't a group, of course. So I panicked. And I was on the other side of the world writing this book. And my family was saying to me, nick, just go and get a job. You can't do this. They didn't say, who do you think you are? But I thought, who do I think I am to be able to go to Australia and write this book? Have I made a huge mistake here? So I went back again. It's always bringing yourself back to that. Those principles that you believe in, bringing yourself back to the positive psychology, back to the spirituality. And I went out, I put my headphones in, I put on a podcast cast, and I went out and I moved my body. It was pouring with rain across there at the time in the winter. And I went out and I walked for an hour a day, and I just listened, and I just tried to raise my vibration and get into a really positive mindset to decide what to do next. So for me, the next step was to work with a coach. And that coach found me really randomly through a Facebook message. I did a meditation, I asked for guidance, and then I got a message from her. So that helped me to restructure things. It helped me to understand the business model, the mindset, the confidence and of course, when all of this stress was going on, I paused writing the book. So I sorted out my business, and I decided to go all in with that. And in my first month of business, when I relaunched it, I generated $35,000 in the first 35 days.

Wow.

So I did 35k in 35 days and then 100k in 100 days. So that gave me another little thing to teach and another story to tell. So it's like, if things aren't working and if it's going back to this idea of pushing and forcing and trying and doing rather than being and trusting and allowing, so I was trying to force the book to come through. So the universe gave me an opportunity to pause again, to stop, to recalibrate and to write from a different place and space. So I ended up moving from Australia to Los Angeles and sitting and writing the book here. And it only took me, when I got going, about a month to write, because I was in that place of flow and download and creative expression. And, I mean, it's a handbook for happiness. There's a load of stuff in there. But I felt like the writing part of it actually came through really easily once I'd actually sorted myself out first.

Mm. Okay, so a couple things there. So what were you. What ended up coming through when you were able to create that abundance in your life? The 35 and 35 and then the hundred and a hundred? What was the product? What came through? How did you get to that spot? And then I'm.

That was the time I worked on my money mindset.

Okay.

So that was where I really understood that I had a limitation within myself. And on some level, I didn't actually believe that I could create that level of success. I was playing small because what was.

Like a month that you had made before? Can you compare it to kind of like what a.

What.

What's the highest you had made at that point?

Anywhere from. I mean, I'd done some months where I'd done 5k, but it was like, here.

Yeah, once. That's a leap. Even if you did 5k every month to 35 is a large. That's. That's a leap.

But then sometimes I would do $500. So it was that emotional roller coaster that I was on. So it was not consistent at all. So to then go and. To take these three months off and not work at all, to go from that, to say, I now desire to create 35k in 35 days, I felt like I was wrong for that. I felt like I was wrong for claiming that goal and that I had to have permission from someone else to say that that was okay.

Yeah.

And I remember apologizing to my at the time and saying, I'm really sorry that I've got this goal, but this is what my goal is.

What did they say?

Isn't it crazy? It's so crazy. Well, they actually get. She gave me permission, which is great. And I think that's all that I needed. Sometimes you don't realize the power of a single word.

Oh, my God.

To actually create that avalanche.

Yes. I feel like we all just need to tell people, like, give them permission right now. Like, whatever it is is to not feel bad about it because it serves a higher purpose. Even if it's something that is like a carrot that seems so random or, you know, it doesn't matter why you want the money at first. You just need to desire it and feel like you're worthy of it. Okay, so she gave you permission with, like, work.

And then I got to work, so I worked so hard.

And what were you working on? What was the product that you were doing? That process?

That was coaching. That was one on one coaching at the time.

Oh, this was one on one coaching package.

So. Okay, one on one coaching. And I maxed out my calendar. I remember at one point I had 44 hours of one on one time. And that's a lot of energy. Wow.

Like, that is so much energy.

That is a lot.

But you were ready for it.

I was ready and I loved it. And I knew that it was a step on a longer journey and a step in the right direction. So it really. It really allowed me to do the work on myself. I'd already done all of that healing work before, but this was actually really profound for me because it was based on the limitations that I'd collected over many, many years of being brought up with these. These sayings, Money doesn't grow on trees.

Yes.

Those type of things. So I really flattened and ironed all of that out at that time and continued to work on it daily. I think one of the biggest mistakes that people make is they do the work once and they think that life is going to be perfect. This is now a practice for me. And. And I listen to meditations daily. I practice my own meditation, I create meditations. I do the work around my goal setting, affirmations, all of that stuff that we hear about all of the time. But I invite those who are listening to actually consider where maybe they've stopped doing something or they haven't been as consistent as they usually were. Because I noticed that if I'm not consistent consistent in my morning ritual or in the way that I'm showing up for myself, the results that I experience in my life are also not as consistent either.

Amen. That's even me right now. Like I can totally call myself out just on some of the stuff. I'm not being as intentional and my life does not feel like it's happening intentionally. You know, that's so powerful. And I think it's just like it doesn't matter how far you are in any, anything. It could look a totally like people could be, you know, doing something in their business or have what they want. But you can still there's no doubt that even if you stopped your routine, because the magic is in the routine, right? And what you're thinking and what you're doing, if you stopped your routine, you'd probably go back to what to like a baseline.

So there's two points that can illustrate this really well. Like one of them is that at every phase of growth you are required to have a different level of mindset and self belief. So you'll know when you build a bigger business business, you get bigger challenges.

Yes.

And one of the things that my fiance Greg said to me a few weeks ago, he was like, Nick, you know, you've got this million dollar business, you sure as hell are going to have to welcome million dollar problems. So I was like, okay, I'll take, I'll take them. Okay, I'll take the universal balance there. So yeah, every phase of growth you're going to need a different mindset and a new level of self belief to be able to navigate those different challenges and experiences. Even if it's something as simple as leveling up and needing to overcome a fear of speaking because you want to be on the big stages to create a bigger impact or it might be something in terms of having the responsibility of running a team, all of these different things. So that's the first thing. The second thing is the happiness pie. I don't know if you know about this. The best kind of pie. So it is a, it's a, a, a framework or a teaching that we teach in positive psychology that was developed to show us that we have more control than we think. So we think that our happiness is actually determined by the traffic outside or the weather. But only 10% of our happiness is actually made up of our circumstances. 50% is genetic and 40% is within our control. So when we talk about going back to a Baseline or going back to. To a set point. Every human has a different baseline or set point of happiness and Joy. So the 40% that we work with as positive psychologists and when we do our morning rituals and all of that stuff, that is actually helping us step up and step into the next new version. But if you don't continue to work with that 40%, it's very easy to slip back to that genetic set point, whether that is immediately or whether that that's a year down the line. You've always got to be conscious of doing the work and continuing to grow.

So. Good. Tell me the pie again. So it's 10% circumstances, 10% circumstances, 40%.

Genetic, 50% genetic, 50% genetic, 40% in your control.

Just want to use your accent. Okay, awesome. Got the. Got the pie. Okay. That's crazy. It's in. No matter what, you can come up, which is even if some people are like, well, I definitely have the low scale genetically, you still get to work with the other.

Yeah. It's actually really empowering because. So empowering. What it's saying is regardless of if there's traffic on the 405, regardless of if it's raining outside, you can take that intention and you can create something with your day. Rather than saying, I'm so busy, I'm so tired, you can actually say, oh, actually, I remember hearing about that 40%. So I'm actually going to use that today to empower myself to do something a little bit different. So I feel a little bit better. Better. It's. It.

It's so true. I mean, so much of everything that I do within myself is just all perspective, like, shifting. How could this be good? Why could this be for me? What? Instead of ever asking, why is this happening? How is this happening to me? It's like all the disempowering questions. I heard a story. I have no idea where I heard it, but it was just a man talking about how he grew up with his parents always being so, like, pissed off whenever it would rain. Like, pissed. They'd be like, it's raining. It's so cloudy. So he had kids and decided that every time it would rain, it would be like a celebration and they would literally go out and dance in the rain. And his kids were so excited every time it would rain.

So that's super cool.

I was like, that's so awesome. It just talk just so much about perspective of what even. What you were.

So.

Some things that even I think I look at my family and I'm like, oh, that Feels so genetic. I'm like, but how much, much of that was even from that learned historically through their, you know, their parents and grandparents.

And it's fascinating, isn't it?

I feel like there's a whole other.

Unraveling, undoing and then creating so good.

I could go down that rabbit hole with you forever. So what is the most exciting thing for you right now in your life?

I love all of the events and the speaking that we're doing and the reason that I love it so much is it allows us to bring the teachings to people in real life, in community. So you can take an entrepreneur from behind the laptop, you can take a woman from in a house where we're experiencing more loneliness and isolation than ever before. And maybe she's read the book, maybe she hasn't read the book, but then she comes together with another group of women who are all on this same trajectory of growth with the same intention in their heart to you decide to be, do, create and have so much more. That is so fulfilling to be able to have that personal connection whilst running a digital business and to be able to see the breakthroughs that are created whilst I stand and do what I love, which is the speaking on the stage. It's just such a blessing to be able to create and hold that space and have that experience.

Effy so you sounds like you have done just hours and hours, hours of one on one coaching, been in rooms with so many different people, spoken on so many different stages. And so I would love to know what are some of the stories that you feel like you're hearing over and over again that are really, you know, I feel like there's themes sometimes that are coming out of maybe the year or the last year. What do you feel like this year, 2017, was there a theme of what maybe was blocking women or what they were needing to connect on or the message that was kind of coming out that you guys are all, you know, that we're clearing and letting go of.

I think for a lot of women it's actually knowing what they're knowing that they have a power to choose and knowing what the direction is that they want to actually move in. And I know that sounds very basic, but at a fundamental level, if you don't have the clarity around your direction and what feels true for you, then you can end up going down a path which actually doesn't support and save you. So there's been a lot of work done in various different programs that we run around really getting clear on. Who are you what is your authentic voice? How do you want to help people in our world? And how can you actually build your business around that message? And I think that if you go for the money first before you've actually done that clarity around what your direction and your authentic self and mission is, you can end up months down the line and end up having to go back to square one again. So that clarity is really, really powerful and really important.

I mean, it's like everything for me because it's so easy to not be, especially when you like a lot of things. It can actually be your kryptonite liking so many things. So clarity has been like, just getting focused is so huge for everybody. What do you think your superpower is?

My superpower is connecting women together. And I actually didn't know what the superpower was until we had, like, a conversation around what we thought each other's superpowers were. And I think it's easier to hear it reflected to you because I said, oh, it's empowering women or it's helping people do this. And one of my friends, Natalie, actually said to me, she was like, no way, Nick. She said, you have got this ability to bring people from all around the world and all walks of lives, whether it's a dinner or just finding in the collaboration and the synergy that you can see the vision for two people or a group of people. That is your superpower.

Oh, so good to know that, isn't it? Then you can just dance in that and also celebrate it. And it just like you're sure of it. You're never going to lose. It always feels good and it's always there for you. You can always create from that place, for sure. It's so powerful to know that. So what's a message that you feel like if you could only leave a message on a billboard board that you would leave.

Help others find their greatness, and you will find greatness, too.

Oh, that's so good. Amen, sister. So any last words for our listeners? Maybe something. Oh, here's one. What's something that maybe most people don't know about you?

Oh, I learned how to cook eggs this year.

Oh, my God. You didn't know how to cook eggs?

No, I don't like eggs after. Okay, well, that makes sense. Fell in love. He loves eggs. So I learned how to cook eggs. But one of the more exciting side of things, I love that little fact because I'm so proud of it. And it doesn't have to be a big thing.

It can just, like Scrambled eggs or like all four? All eggs. All eggs. So like you know how to do it all.

Okay, got it down. So that is my little thing. My big thing is and it's something that I'm excited about in this kind of speaking and event side of things. I'm going to be speaking at Experts Academy which is Brendan Burchard's event this year. So I'm really, really excited about that.

That that's October, that's coming up.

Yeah.

What are you going to teach?

I'm going to teach my, my story. How I built my brand, how I built my business and share that. And I think it's coming from a place in new in England that nobody really knows and being able to have created this success really quickly, it gives people hope that they can do it too.

So just so people are filled in, you've been able to create some amazing things quickly recently. Could you share a little bit on.

Yeah. So I've built a million dollar business in three years. I have won young entrepreneur of the year. I've released a best selling award winning book. I have been appointed as an ambassador for United Nations Women End violence to women one bracelet campaign which is something that is so true to my heart. We're going to Necker island together which is super awesome. All of these are amazing things and it just shows the power of being in intentional focusing on your vision and doing the work on yourself as well as in your career and business to make sure that you really move into that realization of the new reality so.

People can be inspired. What, what is it that you did to build, build your million dollar business as well? What exactly is it and what. Yeah, what exactly is it and how did you build it?

So for me it's about really honoring all of the different phases of growth. So when I started I got it backwards and I had my business model upside down.

Okay.

So when I restarted, I started with one on one coaching first. I then leveraged my business model because I had no time left and I went into group coaching. So I reclaimed my time. I was now able to speak and coach one to many and then from there I launched digital courses, I launched a membership, launched the book and then all of these big events as well. So that's been my sequence of progression with through a business model. So that's really what's worked for me. It's like mastery of one phase before you go and add another revenue stream into your business.

Okay. That's super powerful. I think sometimes we hear we can be in this in this genre, you know, we can start getting into it and we're like, we hear that women have these million dollar businesses, but we don't actually get to hear how it was broken down or, or how it even started because that can feel so grand. But you have quite a few different things that are funneling into your business and membership programs. How long did it take for you to build your membership program?

So that was. I launched it two years ago now. And I always say, like, don't like I, I believe in waiting until it's the right time. So I had a bit of an audience already. Not a huge one, but I did have an audience audience. And because I'd been used to charging 5,000, 10,000, $20,000 for my programs and my coaching, to offer something that was actually a real entry level that was super accessible was really exciting for people at the time. So in that phase, it worked really well to introduce that as an additional revenue stream.

Oh, that's, that's kind of awesome that it started that way because almost your money mindset was like already, you, you already stretched yourself. I started the other way where then it was like implementing the high ticket thing was like, oh, they're used to.

The low ticket thing.

So that was a whole other phase for me as well. So that's awesome. Okay, so I always end on one last question, but before we do that, where can people find you, follow you and get your book?

So you can find me and get the book@nickpigeon.com also. It's in all of the bookstores and on Amazon as well. And then you can check me out, out on Facebook and Instagram, which is ickpidge.

Awesome. So you guys go follow her, find her and definitely get the book. You will love it. And. Okay, you ready?

Hit me with that.

So you're in, let's say you're in an elevator. It's only like a 30 second ride and you're in there with a total stranger and they look at you and they say, this is going to be right up your alley. How can I make myself happy? What do you think? Say.

For me, it always starts with gratitude. And the reason that it starts with gratitude is you. You have an opportunity to perceive and see your, your world in any way that you desire. And when you lock in and you ground in gratitude, you can see and be grateful for all that you are as well as all that you have. And from that place, it allows you to receive more. It allows, allows you to have a more empowered belief in yourself. That you. You're always going to be safe and you're always going to be all right. So I would always, always, always start with gratitude.

So good. And that was like 30 seconds. Now they're off the elevator and they're happy again. So I just want to acknowledge you for everything that you're doing. So inspiring. And just for sharing all of the details along the way in your story and being so open and creating spaces for so many women. I've gotten to be in your spaces, and they're quite magical. So I'm grateful for you. I'm grateful our paths have crossed, and I'm just so grateful that you came on the podcast today so much. You guys, if you love this episode as much as I did, make sure you share it with your friends. Until next time, earn your happy. Bye, everyone. Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment, tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear. More of it would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again, guys.

Bye.

Bye.