3 Pieces of Advice That Changed Our Lives

If you think that you are going to grow your business, if you think that you are going to become the person you want, if you think you're going to have accountability, you have to be in a mastermind. And whether it is structured the way I said or whether it's a group of friends who hold each other accountable, but you're really consistent with it, whether it's a group that meets once a month for dinner and you go around and you ask, where are the needs? How can we help? How can we do this together? It is the thing that has changed. Chris and I's like. And we're back with another episode of He Said, she Said.

All right, babe, kick it off with a glossy tip.

I mean, it's not even necessarily a glossy tip. It is a glossy. Just replenishing crisp. Because we just did the fourth of July and we brought glossy with us. I was drinking glossy before we went on the boat. I've been drinking glossy the entire weekend.

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Well, I'm a little sunburnt. I'm not going to lie. I did use sunscreen. People are going to write me and be like, did you use sunscreen? All I did was wear sunscreen. But we were out all day long.

You guys, I wish you could see because right now she has a blob of white sunscreen on her shoulder right here. Let me rub it in a little bit because we're about to go to the beach.

Yeah, so I'll be under an umbrella this entire time sipping my Glo, drinking Glossy.

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I'll go first just because one just hit me too, because I had one that I was going to come on with and share, which I'm going to. But I've got two quick ones.

Okay. All right, so best advice you've gotten and how have used it.

Okay, so this first one is something that I learned from Brendon Burchard, and it's about enthusiasm and energy. And Brendan is somebody who I loved to hear speak all the time. And I just would look at him and be like, oh, my gosh, he's like the Energizer Bunny. And, you know, if you've ever been in a room with him, whether it's just you sitting in a seat and him on st, you understand that one person's energy can absolutely change the entire energy of a room. And when I got to spend time with him in person, it was even more so. Like, you get to really see the difference that energy makes. And I had an experience with this long, long before even Brendan. And I remember this was Gary V. Like, this is with very, very influential people all have one thing in common, and it is that their energy is almost hypnotic. And it's like, it's truly feels like a vacuum. When I met Gary Vee and got to be in his office and it was just me and one other person when he entered the room, it's like a tidal wave came in of energy. And just like you felt so uplifted. And I actually felt like I was levitating at one point. I'm not even kidding you. That's how. How one person's enthusiasm and energy for life can make you feel like you're. You're levitating out of the chair because you're so excited about possibility because they breathe that life into you. When he left that room, it created a vacuum. Like, I remember that feeling of, like, now this is a very important differentiator. I didn't say to myself, I need to learn how to just be around that more. Of course that came into my head. How do I get around this energy more because of how it makes me feel? But the key is, you guys, how do I learn to generate that energy? How Do I learn to generate it? So let's go back to Brendan. He gave me the biggest gift by saying that he is not a naturally energetic, enthusiastic person. And that blew my mind and opened the floodgates for me to learn that I could be that way, too. Because I had this thing in my head that I was just from this family who, you know, while they're loving and amazing, that they struggle with anxiety or they're maybe a little more shy or, you know, maybe they're not always the most, like, enthusiastic or energetic in the room. And so for me, I was like, I want to shift this. I want to be the person that breathes life into people, that is the most enthusiastic in the room, that when I walk in, people feel that same way, that they're like, I've never felt like I have so much possibility just by being in this person's energy. And so what Brendan had told us when we got to spend time in a Mastermind with him was that he said, you know, I use door jams. Yes, door jams. The things that you walk through as kind of like this set point. Like, okay, when I'm about to go into this room, I'm going to use this as this physical reference point that no matter what my day is, you know, what's going on in my day, or no matter how I feel when I walk through that door, because there are people on the other side of it that I'm going to change my energy. I'm going to choose the energy that I want to be in. And so I always think of that. I always think about. He touches the door jamb. It's a physical. It's like a physical thing for him to reset. And he's like, okay, this is where I step into that different emotion. And every single day, we get to choose, you guys. I even see it with my husband, Chris, that, like, maybe I'll be feeling a little, like, tired or lethargic or something, and I'll see him and I'll know, you know, Chris is a pretty naturally happy person, and I want to match that. Not only do I want to match, I actually want to bring that to him. And so for me, I'm consciously like, okay, respond back with as much enthusiasm or more in different ways for him. Because I want to be a generator for him. I want to feel that way for him as well. I want to feel that way within my friends. It's a constant choice of, okay, bring the enthusiasm, bring the enthusiasm. Don't get me wrong. I can definitely dip Down. But I absolutely do my best to try to remember, and it's a practice for the rest of your life. But I swear to you, enthusiasm is our favorite trait. We will always hire the most enthusiastic person. We always want to be around the most enthusiastic person. And the thing is, it takes a little hyper, by the way. Enthusiastic, enthusiasm, Love for life. Love for life.

Yep. Positivity, Love for life can do attitude, vibrating, high energy. But not just being hyper. Like, there's a difference between enthusiasm and being hyper. And I just want to add one more thing to what you said, because I remember when he taught us this. He said, very specifically, Brendan, this is. He said, you don't get energy, you generate energy. You are the power plant of energy inside of you. And so when you're sitting around saying, I'm tired, waiting to get energy, that's a losing battle. You choose, even when you don't feel like it, to generate energy. And there's as much there as you need.

Yeah. And that's how you feel it back. It's going to take a lift in the beginning, and then all of a sudden, you create it. You change the room and you get it back.

You know, it's funny you don't know this. I did a solo episode last week or two weeks ago, and it was on what do really elite high performers have in common? And that was one of the three things.

Of course, I know. I listen to every podcast. You do. Just kidding.

I don't. Was their energy. They don't wait to get energy. There's the energy generators.

A million percent.

And I talked about the Gary thing, too. Like when we went to dinner with him, remember, he walks in, brings all the energy with him, walks out, takes it all with him. It's just. It's crazy. It's nuts.

It's literally crazy.

Okay, that is really good advice, babe. I'm glad you shared that. Here's mine. Years ago, 2017ish, Lewis Howes said to me, he said, when I wake up every day, I think to myself, who, out of my friends and contacts, needs something, and how can I fulfill that need, preferably through another person, by connecting them? And he said, it's literally a muscle that he had built. He wakes up every day. He chooses to say, hey, who's this running total of people that I have in my head that need something? This guy needs this. This gal needs this. This person needs this, and who do I know that can fulfill that? And he said, connecting those people on a regular basis and getting their needs met, changed his life. And he said he learned that at a very early age, all the way back when he was teaching LinkedIn and would get everyone to go to those. Those LinkedIn mixers that he would do. Right. We're talking forever ago. And. And that stuck with me. And here's why I was like, oh, wait, I've kind of always done that a little bit, but never as an intentional exercise, never as a muscle that I decided to build. Like, hey, you're born with triceps, but do you work on building your triceps? Right. Like, I had that in me, but I never worked on building it until that day. And I don't know why it landed on me in the way that did. But ever since that day, I have a running total in my head. It's like a virtual list of friends and acquaintances that I want to get to know that I want to build relationship capital with. And what they need. Now, where do I get the what they need part? I take interest in people. I ask them, what are you working on right now? What are you excited right now? What challenges have you come up against? And it's very conversational, but I'm mining for data of what they need. Oh, do they need capital? Oh, do they need a connection to somebody who knows, you know, how to do CPG products? Oh, do they need TikTok influencer? Oh, do they need a marketing firm? Oh, do they need. Right. And then I think, okay, who's got this solution? So if you know Jonathan just making up a name. If Jonathan needs a marketing company to launch his app, this is a terrible example, because I know Jonathan. That only launches apps. So Jonathan, Max. If Timmy needed someone to figure out how to launch his app, he's excited about. I know that. I know that Jonathan, my friend Jonathan Maxim has a guarantee that he'll get your first 10,000 users on your app. And it's what they do best. You know, better than anybody else. And so I'm always making an introduction. Oh, hey, Timmy. You need to meet Jonathan, my buddy. He literally gets you your first 10,000 users, and it's a really cool experience. And so I have this running total when I wake up every day. Who can I help? Who can I connect? And if I can just help them myself, that's great. But if I can help somebody by connecting them to another person, that fulfills a need. Now I just help two people. And imagine the compounding factor of helping two people today and two people tomorrow and two people the next day and two people the next day after that that's why I don't want for anything in our network. I am easily one introduction away. You and I together, we are one introduction away from anybody in the world. We want to know and we know people would make that introduction. That's the key. You can't just know someone who knows somebody. You have to have built up enough favor, capital, friendship, whatever to know that you can get that introduction if you ask for it. And we have built that up in large part by me waking up every single day saying, how can I connect these two? And I do it with your friends too. I'm like, hey Laurie, you know your friend that does X, Y and Z? I've got a client or I've got a friend that needs this. Can I connect them?

Yeah, you're so good with that.

And now we're bringing our worlds together. So I think those are two great pieces of advice. Guys, if you just ran with these.

Things, I said one more. So I don't want to leave them right?

All right, well, you're getting a bonus. Hey, you don't have to pay for this one.

For the people who like, need to.

Complete a certain here's the free advice. You have to pay for this one.

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Yeah. You went on to do that with two of your friends for how many years straight?

At least six.

A self ran three person mastermind.

Yep. So every other week for an hour.

The point is you don't have to go invest in one. Even though you know, we love if you invest in ours or somebody else's, but you can just build these yourself.

Did that for free for six years.

Yep. And you just have to have accountability, consistency and someone that's going to be the glue to keep it together. And I think that's where it falls apart.

And honestly, you guys, if you want the whole layout, I forget to talk about my book, but I published it in 2017 and it's literally about that mastermind. It teaches you exactly how to do what I did, like down to the script to invite people. And the book is called A Tribe Called Bliss. You can get on Amazon. That is what changed my life. So it's all about kind of how that all started.

Yep. Speaking of masterminds, we're gonna be doing an end of summer launch right after the kids go back to school. It's gonna be all this very small allotment of spots in our new mentor collective, Mastermind. Now you're starting to see a lot of the propaganda coming out of there. It's insane. Not our words, the members words after every call. It's the best thing I've ever invested in, the best investment I've ever made, blah, blah, blah. Like it is so incredible to hear that. But because of the way we run it, remember, we have what's called answers on demand. We hired coaches in every area of expertise to answer your questions within 48 hours of asking them, no matter how, like, custom and individual. Your question is about your business. And so you get this unlimited one on one coaching. But because of that, we can't bring on too many people at once. So we're going to do a very small allotment of people at the end of summer. Now, if you're like, dude, it's July. Why do I give a shit right now? Because there is a waiting list. And if you're not on the waiting list, you won't have a shot at getting one of the seats in the small allotment. So right now, at the end of this episode, go to Chrisharder me mentor. That is Chrisharder me mentor. Put yourself on a waiting list so you have a chance at the end of summer. All right, guys, thanks for listening. Go grab that advice, exercise it and have a better business and a better life.

And we'll talk to you next week.

It.