3 Powerful Persuasion Tools For Getting The YES You Want!

When you ask somebody for their feedback, what it does is it creates distance between you and that person immediately. So instead of bonding, you. You're asking them instead of saying, hey, how could I get better? Like. Like, let's be allies and let's bond together and make this our own and see how we can get better together. Like, how you could help me get better. And what it does is it. It puts them in the vantage point of, okay, well, let me tell you why this won't work, or let me poke holes in it. Foreign. Welcome back to the show. It's time for another quickie, because there's always time to fit in inspiration. You guys, I love these because they're short and sweet. I know you listen to them while you're getting ready or just a quick drive in your car. Maybe just a really quick walk. I'm just so grateful for you, and I want to give you something that is going to change your life if you have not already gotten it. It is my Power nine. It's going to take you less than three minutes a day. It is the ritual that Chris and I have done every single day of our life for over years. And I really believe that we can attribute so much of the things that we've created because of it. Because your mind literally will go to work for you when you put in front of it what you want for the day. And so many of us don't do this very simple thing that takes less than three minutes in order to make sure that our brain is working for us instead of looking for the negative. Like, your brain is either wired to survive and look for what can kill you, right, like, what could go wrong, or you have to rewire it to. To look for what you want. And that's exactly what this ritual is going to do. And so all you have to do is go to Lori Harder on Instagram and DM me the word power. And this is truly what is going to deepen your relationships. It's going to put in the forefront exactly what you want. Because what your brain pays attention to is what you create and what you go to work for all day long. Meaning your brain will go to work to try to fix things and solve things for you. And that's what the Power 9 will do. It's going to tell your brain exactly what you want it to focus on for the day. So go and check it out. You'll learn how to do it in less than five minutes. And then you can do this every single day, two to three minutes, max. You're going to love it. So today I want to chat with you. I had a podcast with a man named Robert Cialdini. If that name is familiar, it's because he's written some incredible bestselling books. He's written the book Influence and Pre Suasion. You guys, it is seriously one of, like, what he teaches is some of the coolest things that you can possibly learn, no matter who you are or what you're doing. It's really the Art of persuasion or the art of Pre Suasion, which I just bought that book as well. Literally five minutes ago, I just bought that book. And so I wanted to share some nuggets with you because he is coming on the show. His podcast is coming up pretty soon, but he dropped a few things in the podcast that I just wanted to reiterate now. And also I just watched a couple videos on Pre Suasion, and I wanted to share some of those learnings that I got from him with you, because these are really powerful things that you could do with right now in your life to have things go more your way. Have you ever met some people who just. Everything they do seems to turn to gold and everyone just likes them? Like, they're just really likable people. Well, a lot of times these people are doing the things that Robert talks about without them even knowing, right? Like, there were some things on the interview that Robert brought out that I was like, oh, my God, I do these things without even knowing it. And, you know, one of the things I want to share is on the interview, before I get on all of my interviews, I take about five minutes. It's usually only five minutes. Sometimes it's 10. But before I start the show, I have one goal. I have one goal. My one goal within those five minutes is to find one common ground before we start. Sometimes this is where we lived. Sometimes this is someone that we know. Sometimes this is the topic we're about to talk on. And I say why it's so impactful for me and a personal story about it. I don't just say, this is impactful. I say, this is impactful. Because here's something that happened in my life where this really changed it. So what I do is then I try to ask them questions as well. I try to find that one common goal. And so I did this with Robert, and then we started on the podcast, and he said, you know, some of the things with the most persuasive people where people really, like, lean into what they're doing, if they're fundraising, they'll give them money. If they're doing sales, people will buy their stuff, is that they take the time to find one common interest, one common thing within that person. And that person immediately feels bonded to you and more likely to be completely open to listen to everything that you're saying. So maybe some of you are rushing through this, maybe some of you don't think that this is important. But even with people, if I'm in a Starbucks line and I'm talking to the cashier, I try to find something where there's a commonality, just anything where it's like, what can we talk about that could be something that we're both interested in or something that we have in common, right? Maybe they're wearing something, maybe they have a ring on that reminds you of something more that was impactful in your life and you share that story. It might feel so stupid to you to do this, but these are the things that actually make successful people successful and others not, is that they're getting that buy in. And that's really what that is. So another one that I wanted to share that rocked my world was he was talking about when we ask for feedback on something, when we ask for feedback on something. So let's say you just did a talk for someone's group and you say, hey, you know, could I get your feedback on that? Or maybe it's an example of you have a mentor, you have some friends, or you want them to look at your business plan, or you're, you want to share a business idea with them, or you want to share something that you want feedback on with anyone. Instead of asking for feedback, it's as simple as changing the word that you're using. And this was very interesting to me. So he gave the info and this is all science backed. These are all research data based. This has all been tried throughout all of these different experiments that they've run. So all of this info I'm giving you has true data behind it. So when you ask somebody for their feedback, what it does is it creates distance between you and that person immediately. So instead of bonding you, you're asking them instead of saying, hey, how could I get better? Like, like, let's be allies and let's bond together and make this our own and see how we can get better together. Like how you could help me get better. And what it does puts them in the vantage point of, okay, well let me tell you why this won't work or let me poke holes in it. And while that can also Be very good to get that standpoint. Sometimes if you're wanting this person's buy in and support as well, it's better to say, could I get your advice on this? Could I get your advice on how to improve this? Could I get your advice on how to get better? So instead of saying could I get your feedback or could I get your perspective, Say could I get your advice? And what that does when you ask for their advice, you create an ally. And I thought the difference between this was mind blowing. So now every time I'm asking, I'm asking for advice on how to get better or advice on how to do a specific thing instead of feedback. Because I don't want to create that distance. I want someone to have positive thinking around the thing I'm doing. So instead of how can you poke holes in this, you're asking how could we improve this thing to make it better? So you're actually getting more quality advice as well. This to me was crazy. Okay, I want to give you one more. So he talks about pre suasion, which is things that you can do before you're doing something, before you're even going into the task that can help you improve your odds of getting what you want.

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You'll be glad you did it. So in an interview that I was watching with Robert, he was talking about how if you have an interview coming up or if you set a sales call and the person has said yes, or if you have something where somebody agreed to look at a deck or listen to a business idea, the first thing that you ask that person after maybe getting to know them or finding that commonality. So you can like triple dose this, you guys. You can pile on all of the good things, you can find the commonality, and then you can ask them what made you interested in saying yes to me? What was it that you were interested in or piqued your curiosity about having me work here or about this business idea that I pitched you? What made you say yes? What this does is it makes their brain focus on why they like you, why they liked the idea, why they think this could be a good thing. So immediately from the start, again, you're not putting that separation of let's come from a place of poking holes. You're putting their brain in why this is good. And immediately that's Gonna open up, right? You're really opening the brain up to a certain way of thinking. So that's just like what I was sharing the Power 9 in the beginning. That's what the Power 9 does, is it says, how do we want to think today? How do we want to problem solve? What do we want to focus on? What do we want to look at? And you activate a different side of your brain, and you're firing up a different side of the brain for the day. So these are huge things that are massive game changers. And these are the. If you really want to get granular and get the data, this is what is making the difference between someone who is successful and someone. Someone who's not. At the end of the day, what I want you to remember, at the core, we are all human beings seeking to find connection. We all just want to feel good about the partnerships we're in. We all just want to feel good about the decision that we just made. We all just want to feel good about ourselves and our day and the connections that we're in. So these little tiny things, I want you to start practicing them. Let me know if this has changed anything for you. I know that. I love hearing from you guys again. Just DM me the word power if you want to get the different rituals that we do every single day. But also let me know what your biggest takeaway was from this. Text this to a friend who's maybe been struggling or who, you know, who is in sales or needs to go out and create something and has to talk to a lot of different people because these are game changers. You guys, I'm so grateful for you. And until next time, earn your happy. It.