3 Things To Leave Behind In 2023

No, plans is still a plan. I've said this to many people lately because I do have plans. I have plans to do nothing that weekend. And just because my plans are to do nothing that weekend doesn't mean that I have to make up a fake excuse or worry about what you see me doing on Instagram. Hey, everyone. Welcome back to the show. It's time for another quickie, because there's always time to fit in inspiration. And today I want to share with you three things that I'm leaving behind in 2022. There's a lot of things that I'm going to leave behind or I would like to leave behind. I'm currently packing the suitcase of all of those things, but these are three that I'm really identifying with right now that really would change my life if I decided to practice letting go of these. There's going to be a lot of things, you guys, that Jan One is going to come or we're crossing over it, and we're going to be like, I'm a new woman. I'm doing this now. I'm not doing any more of that. And the second we do it, we're like, I'm a failure. That's not how goals work. That's not how life works. That's not how evolution works. It's a practice. It's removing. It takes time, and it's grace. And the one thing I can tell you that we're not going to make it without this year is grace on ourselves. And while I firmly believe in grace, I also believe in discipline. So maybe grisipline, I don't know. That's going to be the practice of grace and discipline together, which it's so important to have both. Have an equal partnership of both, because I've seen an extreme swing to the side of grace. And grace is not necessarily going to be the worker. Right? Discipline is the thing that's going to move the needle. But in order to move that needle and move it in a way that's healthy, we have to have grace on ourselves. So three things that I'm leaving behind in 2022. Number one, this one's big, guys. This one's going to be huge. It is saying yes, saying we should get together, or let's circle back when I don't mean it, saying yes when I don't mean it. And it's not only to the things that maybe I know I can say no to later. Like, let's say that we're in person and you're like, oh, my Gosh, I have this thing coming up. I would love for you to be there. And I know, like, I can email you later or say no, but because we're in person face to face, I say, yeah, I think that sounds really great. Okay, here's what I have started saying instead and what I'm working on. So even though it would be really great for me in that moment to people please the shit out of you by saying, yeah, I think that's gonna work, you're actually kicking the can, the disappointment can, and the just more work for yourself can down the road. And all you're doing is creating more work for yourself and you're creating stress for yourself after the situation. And that reason is you're gonna have to say no anyway later. And you're also knowing that you're gonna disappoint that person because you said yes. So something that you can say instead is, hey, oh my gosh, that sounds like so much fun. Or that sounds really amazing. I have a two week time frame that I give myself to make a big decision like this or a decision on where I'm gonna go. Can you circle back with me? Or when I get the invite, I'll RSVP on the invite. So with that, it just means that you're going to give yourself that time and space. Or you can say something like, hey, I give myself a week to make these decisions. I'll let you know in a week if that feels better to just give a firm no in that week and give yourself some time. Like, sometimes you may think that it sounds fun, but in a week you're like, oh, absolutely not. So buy yourself some time and give them a true answer. Or if you know you're not going to go, like, if you have something you can say, oh, that sounds great, but I'm actually busy that week. Okay, this is insane because you can actually say you're busy or you have previous plans, especially, especially if. Okay, some of you might disagree with me, but if you're in a season of giving your family space and giving yourself space, meaning having time with your family and friends of your choice, no, plans is still a plan. I've said this to many people lately because I do have plans. I have plans to do nothing that weekend. And just because my plans are to do nothing that weekend doesn't mean that I have to make up a fake excuse or worry about what you see me doing on Instagram. My plan is to not have plans and sit around my house and my bathrobe all day on Saturday, watching Christmas movies and searching the interweb for things that I like to look at. That's my freaking plan. And you don't have to hurt the person by saying, I got no plan. That's a better plan than going to your plan. You can say, oh, I have a previous engagement that weekend, or I have previous plans, but I hope you have the best time. That's not a lie. If your plans in your life are to spend more time with the people that you love with no plans, then that is my plan. And that is a lot of my plans moving forward. Because I am not happy when I am giving my time to people who won't be on my journey for the long haul. I am not happy when I don't have space to do the things that I want to do or create what I want to create. I am not happy when I'm saying yes to things out of fear of disappointing people. You guys, I have been loving this holiday season and it's so many reasons. It's because I'm taking such good care of myself and I'm able to be present because I'm not skimping on my sleep as well. This is huge for me to prioritize sleep. So I have to tell you about a Soul CBD product that is amazing. And and I have a code for you that's 15% off your entire order. 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That's my S O U L, C, B, D, and use my code Lori at checkout. Moving on to the next one. Okay. Oh, one more on this, because this was huge for me, you guys. So I have a podcast, and I work my way down a dream list. So my dream list has about 50 people on it, and I have to leave spots open for my dream list. And I'm working very hard on growing my podcast and getting it to a place where I'm getting a lot of these guests that maybe you guys couldn't listen to or have access to now simultaneously. It doesn't mean that I have stopped getting inquiries from the most incredible people with the most incredible stories. It just means that I have an agenda and a dreamland list and a goal for my podcast. So if somebody's coming on and I know that I'm pretty much booked out for the next year, honestly, I have some spots open, but I leave them open for the magic, right? So if I know this and someone says to me, oh, I would love to be on your podcast in January or February, I have something coming out, and I say, oh, you know what? I'm booked, but circle back with me. And I don't mean circle back. I'm just kicking the can down the road, and I am literally giving myself more work later. So something that we have started saying is if it's true, if I don't know if I'll ever have them on right, I say, oh, my gosh, you're incredible. Your story sounds amazing. We'll put you on our list to consider, and we will reach out. So don't worry about circling back. If there's ever room or we look for this topic, we will reach out. Thank you so much for asking. It's, like, so incredible to have people ask. But I need you guys to know, listening to this podcast, that if you want to know what it takes to be successful, you got to get clear and you got to get focused, and you have to forge forward and know you're going to disappoint a lot of people. So you need to equip yourself with the most beautiful ways to make people feel seen, but also hold true to your goals and your boundaries. And if someone's upset with you, I promise you, down the road, they might even realize that your no was the thing that they learned from on how to say no when they get busy and they become successful to somebody else. I've had so many people say to me, oh, my gosh, I've saved your email that you said no to me five times in a row. Because I now understand now that I am busier and now that I'm getting these inquiries or people now want to be on my show, I know how to say no. And that was the most hard part and so overwhelming. And this was the thing that was keeping me from having the show that I wanted is I was saying yeses to all these things that I didn't actually want. It wasn't the focus of what I desired. 2026 is the year that you launch your business. It's the year that you've become the boss. You become the leader. 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Stop kicking the can down the road and creating more work for yourself. Plus, I really believe that's an open loop and that you're holding onto that energy and that's taking up room. If you don't mean it, say no. Close the loop. Keep that energy. Number two, chasing shiny friends. For years and years and years, I chased shiny friends. And while, you know, I think that I'm giving myself grace on it because I really believed that we would be great friends. I really believed that I would have a blast with these people. At the same time, there were moments where I was like, why don't I get invited to these things? Why don't they like me? Why can I not get into these certain friend groups? And I wasted a lot of energy on that, when I should have just been going to where it felt good, where the energy felt good between me and other people, where I should have just let things happen instead of trying to force things to happen. And I'll tell you, a lot of the people that you are meant to be with on the path, maybe those shiny friends are the events that you're going to and they're the ones on stage. Right? It doesn't make these people bad if they're not wanting to hang out with you. It makes them busy and it makes them have their priorities set. It makes them focused, it makes them clear on their path. And, you know, I used to get upset when people would be like, well, I have my set friends. This is all I have time for. Like, I hope you understand. Like, I was like, what? That's so shitty. Now I totally get it. Like, these are kind of the people that are my ride or dies that I want to spend the rest of my life with. Like, if we happen to cross paths in a business way or at an event and we get to share a moment. Oh my gosh. Chasing shiny people and needing them to be your friends robs you of the moments that you're actually supposed to have with them. A lot of people that you meet are just meant to drop in and have the most incredible moments with you. I've had this experience on both ends. I've had the experience where I've been at an event and at someone's dinner party where maybe I was invited, where the shiny people were that I wanted to be friends with and there were a couple of them there. And I've had a few moments where I was like, that was the most magical moment and most incredible advice that completely changed my life. Like, maybe it was one dinner where I sat next to them and when I think that we need to be friends, it robs the beautiful moment. It takes away that incredible, like advice and world changing moment. And just like life changing moment that that was because you think you need more. You don't need more from this person. You just got exactly what they were meant to be in your life in that moment. And when we start to let people be in our life for the beautiful moments, instead of thinking they all have to be long term and you have to be close friends with them, this is when your life really starts to create magic. Because the right people come in who are supposed to be there for long term and the magical moments mount up. And all of a sudden every day is magical when you allow people to come in for a moment, for the moment that they're meant to, whether it's a day, a month, a year, and you guys move on, your life will be filled with more magical moments. If we can stop chasing shiny friendships and know that a lot of our friendships, of the people that are going to be our die hards, our ride or dies, are the people who are right next to us. Start paying attention to when your energy is lifted around those peoples, when your ideas start flowing and when you're being supported and when there's something that you want to support. All right, number three is I'm going to leave behind attaching my identity to being an introvert. There's a whole podcast that I just did on this. You guys go check it out. It's going to blow your mind. And it's because I really believe that introverts are just extreme people pleasers with poor judgment, poor boundaries, and poor energy management. You gotta go listen to the podcast, I'm telling you because I thoroughly, deeply identified as an introvert. Maybe I was an introverted extrovert, but I literally like dug deep on this podcast around what it actually means to be an introvert. And I think that, yes, if you're listening and you're like, no, I'm an introvert, yes, you do recharge away from people. But I don't believe that we're as introverted as we think we are. I think we might just be going into the wrong rooms with the wrong people more frequently than we should, or that we don't have boundaries to just go into those rooms that we're invited into and not feel like you have to be the smartest or the funniest or entertain everyone or the most outgoing or the kindest or make sure that everybody feels seen and that you said hello to everyone. Like, what if you just went in these rooms and let it be okay to like, not talk that much or sit in the corner or just enjoy the food and sit down or go watch a movie with the kids? Like, what if you just did whatever you wanted to do and didn't leak your energy all over the place, Right? What if you just went and you didn't put it on yourself to make sure that every person was having a good time or that it annoyed the shit out of you that your Aunt Betty was not having fun and that she was pouting so you took your whole time and tried to go over there and console her. What if you didn't let it bother you that your mother in law was being pouty or said something to you and it got your panties in a bunch and you're super upset? What if you just walked away and said, you know, I'm going to go just like have a conversation over here and that's it? What if you actually protected your energy, had boundaries and used your voice where you wanted it to be used? Don't get me wrong, this is my extreme practice for 2023. Like, if I am practicing one thing, it is this. But I want to share this with you because I am happier. I'm less depressed, I have less anxiety. I feel more rooted in my community, I feel more supported, I feel more excited about life and I have more energy because I am in community more. And I would have been the first person to die saying, I'm an introvert. I don't like going to all those things. I don't love being out and about all the time. I don't want to go to that party. I don't want to go to that event. And now I'm the first person to be like, hey, let's make sure we have something to look forward to. Hey, let's make sure we're creating the dinners and the weekends and the vacations that we want with the people that we want done in the way that we want with the conversations that we want with the rest that we want incorporated into them. Like, what if you went on vacation with friends and you said no to hanging out for a whole day? What if you said, we want this day alone? What if you said, you know, I'm tired, I'm going to go to bed early tonight? What if you said, I'm not going to go out with all of you tonight, like, you could actually be within those situations? It's because we don't use our voice and we haven't practiced enough to be able to do it. So, number three, I am no longer attaching my identity to being an introvert in the form of form that most people think that it means, because that is going to free me up to have the deep connections and community that I crave in my life that keep my mental health in check. So I'm sending you guys so much love. I would love to know what are three things you're leaving behind or what did you resonate with on this podcast? I love this podcast so much. It means so much to me that especially as the new year is turning, that you guys lean on this for becoming the best version of yourself. And my promise to you is that I will always vow to work on myself and try to make this podcast better and try to get you into incredible conversations that are going to give you aha's, make you enjoy life more, get you looped into different communities and have you just go for the thing that you want to do. So if you love this podcast, I would love if you'd rate and review or share or text it to a friend, because that is really how a podcast grows and it means the world. If I'm going to show up on this mic three times a week that, you know, you guys show up and listen as well, I'm just so deeply grateful. You have no idea. So I'm sending you so much love. Happy New Year, and I will see you next week. Bye. Bye, Sam.