301: Wanna Be A Boss In Business and Life? Advice From the Original Boss Babe with Natalie Ellis

I've really noticed that when I give myself space and time, I am so much more creative and bring more ideas to the table that actually my momentum doesn't slow down and the growth of my company actually only gets bigger and faster.

Welcome to the Earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author.

Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you.

Bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves, get ready to earn, own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me?

Here we go. Welcome back to the show. I'm so excited that you tuned in for another episode. And if you are attending the Bliss Project in March, it is the first weekend in March 2019. You absolutely want to go and grab your tickets now because they are getting really close to selling out. And I want you to be able to be there if you know that you are meant to be in that room. And I always tell people, if you are curious, if it seems interesting to you, if it's something that you're like, oh, I feel like I should be there, follow that. Every time I've followed those nudges, there's always been something so massive for me that have really changed the trajectory of my life. Those are called soul hits. You guys talk about them all the time, those little nudges. So this event is filled with meditation. We have yoga in the mornings, we have performers, we have artists, we have incredible spirit speakers, we have breakouts. I'm going to be taking you through a lot of different things that are going to give you a reference point for the rest of your life to really give you the opportunity to try on the bigger version of yourself. So join me@theblissproject.info to grab your ticket now and on today's episode. You guys, I'm so excited because I have the original Boss Babe on. So if you have been one of the almost 1 million people who are following the Boss Babe Instagram account or whether you've been following along at her Boss Babe blog or site. Natalie Ellis is truly a powerhouse in creating connection and really helping women move forward in their businesses. So Natalie's passion truly lies in helping other women get out of the places where they feel stuck and showing them how to empower themselves to build freedom through entrepreneurship. She's a strategic, serial entrepreneur who not only knows what she wants, but she's tenacious in making it a reality. And I'll tell you, every single time that this woman speaks, I write it down. I write something down. I learn something. So I took feverish notes on this podcast, and in this podcast, we talked so much about overcoming the fears around success, the fears around starting a business, and just fear in general. We also talk about how our craving for connection as women is truly so important to really follow that because it helps us not only in life, but in business. We also talk so much about boundaries and clear communication, what it looks like to set a boundary, why we're avoiding boundaries, what the actual conversation around the boundary looks like, and how boundaries are so much freedom now. Natalie is such a massive business guru, but we also talked about how this year she's really craving space and more play and more connection and how that's going to be implemented into her life. So, you guys, I cannot wait for you to listen to this podcast. And here's the deal. Even if you do not have a business or you're not starting a business, you're definitely going to want to listen into this, because these are just life principles. It's so funny how whether it's business or fitness or relationships, they all cross over and there's something to learn. So definitely tune in. And I cannot wait for you to hear this. So let's get started. Natalie, I'm so excited for you to be on my show finally. I feel like I've. This has kind of, like, been, like, a year in the making for me.

Yeah, I know. I'm so excited to finally be here and chatting with you on the podcast.

You know, it's so crazy because I'm. I know that my story, so much like other people's story of finding you without even knowing we kind of found who you are. Because I had followed the Boss Babe page for I don't even know how long. Like, literally, I was just actually scrolling through my phone the other day. You know when you go back in picture land from, like, so many years ago, and I found, like, some old Boss babe quotes that I had screenshotted, and I thought, oh, my God, that's so crazy. Like, I had been following along for way before I even got to meet you. So for people who are not familiar with kind of your background, let's go there first. And then later on we're gonna dig more into personally, you. So tell us a bit about, you know, how everything that doing now got started and what exactly that is.

Yeah.

So what I do now is I own a company called Boss Babe. And Boss Babe is one of the largest and fastest growing online communities of female entrepreneurs and ambitious women. And it's so funny you were just talking about having that screenshot because there are very few women I meet that don't have some kind of old screenshot of a Boss Babe quote on their phone, which is. It just lights me up so much. But my story is so cliche. I'm one of those people that's always been entrepreneurial. I think it was just in my blood when I was born. You know, one of those people that had those candy floss stands and things when I was younger and always looking to create. And I just loved it. And I kind of started to really hone those skills in when I was about 13, and I got my first computer and I got super interested in websites and I learned how to build websites and I learned how to design online, so logos, branding, that kind of thing, which at the time was a really cool skill because lots of businesses wanted to have websites, but they had no idea where to start. It wasn't as easy as it is today. So I would, like, hit up ebay shops and pitch them this idea of having their own website and all that kind of thing.

How old were you?

I was 13.

Oh, my God, that's amazing.

And what.

Where does that even come from? How did you even know that was a thing for you?

I didn't.

I just.

I really. I was really good at designing websites and branding stuff. And I just thought, okay, I see all of these ebay stores and it's interesting, but it doesn't look very nice. How could. Like, what if I just did this for them? And it just came super naturally. And I didn't. I didn't really know what an entrepreneur was or what that word meant, but I just kind of went like that. And then I started to import things in bulk and sell them to ebay stores, like through their DMs, which I'm sure was illegal. And I didn't even have a PayPal account. I was so young for any of that, but it was just so much fun to me. And I loved that hustle and that idea of, like, having creative ideas and then going out and finding them and bringing them to life. I just loved it. And then when I was about 16, I petitioned my school to start an Entrepreneurship class because I started to realize what it was that I was interested in and I wanted to find out more and learn everything I could all about it. And it's funny because we didn't really have Amazon or anything like that. And I. And I wasn't being recommended all of these interesting books, I was at a loss to how I can find out more about it. So school was the first place for me. It's funny because I actually have a letter in my kitchen drawer from when I was 16, getting a letter from my headmaster to my parents saying how they were so excited that I was pitching them entrepreneurship classes or something like that. It's funny, but yeah, I started like that and this kind of continued. While I was at university, I studied business and I started an entrepreneurship society, which became one of the best in the country. Because of that, I was invited to Downing street, which is kind of like the White House, but in the uk, And I was helping to work and create entrepreneurship policy to help more young entrepreneurs get into this, because, again, people didn't know what it was. Which then led me to be one of the first ambassadors for £112 million to help female young entrepreneurs get funded. And I ended up going to Buckingham palace for that. And it just. All of these amazing experiences when I was so young gave me a taste of what it could be like if I just went out there and created my own business. So it all started there. And obviously long journey. And I'll fast forward a lot of.

It because it's not super relevant.

But what got me to where I am now with Boss Babe is I started a company, seriously, out of uni. And it was going really well. And from the outside, I should have been loving it and I should have been so happy, but inside I just felt empty and lonely and stressed. And I didn't have a lot of friends at the time. I was traveling. I didn't really know anyone that understood what I was trying to do. And I just thought there has to be some other girls out there like me. And that's where it all began and has brought me to where I am now. Hmm.

So how did you acquire. I know I was reading some articles on you. So how did you acquire even Boss Babe? And figuring out what that was going to look like?

Yeah.

So I started on Instagram with my first company, oh My Glow, which was a nutritional supplement. And I started on Instagram and got a lot of traction from there to a point that when we launched, we were shipping to over 60 countries in just a few weeks and it was purely Instagram. Then we got into over 200 stores in the UK again just from Instagram. And I was like, okay, there's something to this. So I started a female entrepreneurship account where I was sharing quotes and things. And at the time there was already a boss babe Instagram account. And the girl that was running it messaged me. She was like, I love what you're doing. I'm not super passionate about this and I want to step back. What would it look like if you came in to do what you were doing on yours within mine? And I was like, this is perfect. So I stepped into that. I started growing the Instagram account, there was a membership site and I started growing that and an advertising network and really started turning it into the company we know it is today. And as that journey was going on, the girl who was part of that, she was really passionate about something completely different. And it was amazing because I was so passionate about this. And so I decided just to go fully there on my own. And she went and did her own thing. And then in the end I ended up bringing on another business partner who is Danielle, who I have now, who is so passionate about the bossfit movement. So that's how it all came around. And this was years ago and it's just been the most fun journey of being able to grow this community into what it is today.

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So I, I love that story and I know that you are, you've experienced just like massive explosive growth. But I also know what is going on behind the scenes as far as being able to get it there. And that's one of the favorite things for me to talk to you about and to talk to, you know, because we kind of share this circle of mutual friends who, it's so much fun, like just meeting all of these incredible women, especially in the LA area and really getting to sit and talk about what it took to make these businesses what they are and the journey behind it. And I love hearing we're so, we're all so similar. Like we all have These huge dreams and these wants and these desires. But at the same time, when we're in, you know, massive momentum, sometimes we can burn out and sometimes we're not getting the connection that we want and we're not actually taking care of ourselves in the way that we want. And I know that that's something that you have been passionate about talking about for yourself this next year. So tell me a little bit about what the prior years have looked like for you, as far as what it's taken for you to get to where you are growth wise.

Yeah, that's such a good question. So I think over the past few years, or ever since I kind of started my career, I have felt like I have had no choice but to succeed. There's never been any other option. I came from very, very little. We lived in the projects and I was on free school meals and my family didn't have the finances to be able to support me if I failed. It was all on me. And I think from a very young age, I have really felt the need to succeed and to be able to go out there and forge my own path. And it put a lot of pressure on me. So when I launched, and I think I want people to have in their mind, me coming at it from this perspective is coming at it from a place of privilege. Now I have the space in my company to be able to step back and look at what it's looked like over the past few years. But I don't know if I would have got here without working as hard as I did. But as I was saying, I just didn't see any other option. And I would work around the clock. I would take every single opportunity, I would say yes to everything. And it was great for a while, but then I just started to feel so disconnected from my body and from my mind and from source. I just felt disconnected generally. And I went through about two periods of really significant burnout. I had lots of kind of ups and downs. And, you know, we all as entrepreneurs have those days where we just sit and cry because we feel like everything is kind of falling apart. But I went through two periods of quite deep burnout. And from there I've really been able to kind of dive into what I think caused that for me and think about what I can do differently. And I think what it was for me was actually, I can describe this in terms of boss babe. So I think of, you know, the masculine they like to do. That's the Yang and that's the boss side of boss babe. And the feminine likes to just be that. That's the ying and the babe side of boss babe. And I think I was so far in my masculine that I was just doing, doing, doing. I didn't even know what it looked like or meant to just be. And I was like one of those persons. And it sounds crazy, but I was one of those people that was kind of just scared to sit and be with my own thoughts. I was scared to not be constantly doing something, whether that was out with friends or watching a movie or working, whatever it was, I would never just be sitting there doing nothing. It terrified me. And you know, I think I had a lot of stuff to work through. I had quite a turbulent childhood and stored a lot of that within me. And I think my coping mechanism has always been to ignore and to keep busy. And you get to a certain point where that doesn't serve you anymore and you have to learn what it is like to sit with yourself and dive into those scary parts of yourself. And for me, that space came from when I had a very successful company, I was making enough money to be able to step back. I was, you know. You know, when you reach that kind of part, the self actualization part, the Maslow's hierarchy, where you're not worried about all of the other things that you were worried about and you're actually in a really good place where you're like, huh, okay, it's time to turn within. Because there's a lot of shit going on that I didn't realize was going on. So yeah, I turned in and I just, I realized I was so in my masculine and I've really been on the journey to pull myself more into my feminine and it's been the best thing that I've done for myself and it just, it's made me feel so imbalanced and so aligned with what I'm doing in a way that's sustainable.

Oh my God, I so relate to so much of that. Especially just I think that sometimes what can happen is when you come from a childhood that's like that, that maybe you don't feel safe or you don't feel like you'll be taken care of if you don't take care of yourself constantly, that it's almost like this, if you're not providing and working, that things are going to fall apart because that's just the only other thing that you knew it was either full on or things are falling apart. So I so understand that. And the being part is so incredibly important because there comes to that point where you've worked so hard so that you can be. And I hear so many themes and messages, though, that you're saying that you just kind of knew when it was time, like, you reached this point of, like, what was serving you is no longer serving you. So how does that come up for you? Like, what. In what ways has it, you know, first manifested into your life that you were like, whoa, wait a minute, I need to. I need to do something different?

Yeah.

So a couple of things. I was feeling very disconnected from source. Like, I'm a really spiritual person, and I always find it super easy to tap into my gut instinct to myself. And I was really not getting that. I was feeling this. This massive block. And that in itself was a big alarm for me. But the second thing was my health. Over the. Over a couple of year period, my health was just not great at all. I was constantly having a bad stomach, tons of hormonal issues, and I was not really getting anywhere. Whenever I go to the doctor, I was not getting anywhere. And then I started to look into it further and go to specialists and functional medicine doctors. And what it came up as was, you know, within your stomach, you have so many nerve endings and you feel a lot of stress there. And I was just holding so much stress in my body. And as I started working through that, I decided to completely just revamp my lifestyle from my eating habits to everything. And I want to. I was on birth control. I wanted to come off that. I didn't want to be on any kind of synthetic hormones. I wanted my body to have a chance to be in its natural state. And coming off birth control, I'd been on it for 10 years. And when I first went on it when I was younger, I was prescribed it because I wasn't having periods properly, which back in the day, that's. I guess that's just what they did. There wasn't as much knowledge where I could just go on Google and find out what was going on. Like, people weren't talking about this. Women in my life weren't talking about this. So I went on the pill and I kind of just left that band aid where it was, and I came off of it and I didn't get my period. And I just went through this. This time of feeling dreadful. Every single day. I'd wake up feeling tired. I was getting really stressed and emotional overthink things that I just never would have gotten stress or emotional over in the past. And I started to look into it. I got my hormone levels tested and it turned out I had polycystic ovaries. Both my ovaries were covered in cysts so much that I could barely get out of bed some days because it was so painful. My testosterone was really, really high.

That alone for me was the biggest.

Wake up call because it's just not our natural state. We can be told you've got these syndromes, you've got this, this and this, but. But that's not a natural state for us as powerful women. We should be able to bring that back to be in our power, to be feeling good. And that was big wake up call. And I just wasn't prepared to sit back and let that happen. Wow.

I know so many people can relate to that and I think it's so good to hear that this is happening. I mean, that this conversation is becoming so much more normalized now because I remember just different struggles like that in my life as well. And it was just like, oh, go on this, go on that. And now we have so. We have so many amazing options that it's like, especially living in la, I can imagine that you just have so many options at this point that it makes you feel like you can get your power back in a natural way.

So true. We are so lucky here. There's, There is a person for everything.

Oh my gosh. I know whenever someone's struggling with something and they're not here, I'm like, okay, let me see what I can do. Let me see if there's this type. Have you ever heard of this type of, of person? Check if they're in your area. Like I'm still learning about all of these new specialized type of doctors and treatments and I'm always just completely astounded by what comes up. When you really take on becoming an advocate for your own health, like that's the number one thing that we can do, is just, oh my gosh, be fierce about your own health. So. Oh my goodness. Okay, so I want to know about. We were talking earlier, right before this, with the new year coming, and I know that you also have some feelings of wanting to implement more self care and more just kind of nurturing yourself and slowing down a bit perhaps with the new year coming. How do you. This is a question I get all the time from women. How do you maintain high achievement and high standards while still trying to somewhat balance this new version of slowness that we're all starting to talk about. Or not even slowness, just more self care.

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I think this is probably my favorite question ever. It's so, so important. I can definitely give my opinion. I'm so still on this journey and learning it, but I think I'm getting some things that really work for me and have worked over the past year. But I think sometimes we have this idea of being in our feminine meaning that we're more passive and less ambitious. And whilst it means you might be, you know, spending like slowing down and spending more time on self care, I've really noticed that when I give myself space and time, I am so much more creative and bring more ideas to the table that actually my momentum doesn't slow down and the growth of my company actually only gets bigger and faster. But what's been really important for me within business is to have someone on the team who is an implementer so that I'm not having to do everything from start to finish. Because when I'm in my feminine creativity flow mode, I'm very good at having ideas and designing and writing and getting things started. But it's then when I am constantly having to push projects through and chase people up and stand in my masculine, if you do that for too long, you can kind of, you start to feel like it's just a bit much. Whereas I think, you know, a certain level of that is absolutely fine, but it can sometimes feel a bit much. So a big thing that I did was bringing someone onto the team who can be a full integrator and can push things through for you so that, you know, momentum isn't being lost. And if you slow down, the entire company doesn't slow down because you don't want that to happen. And then I've just been trying to spend time doing things that really nourish my soul, but at the same time really help push me forward. So. And your book speaks so much to this. But you know, as women we crave connection and community and, and I think in society today we're so fixed to our phones and our laptops and not seeing people in person that we can feel so disconnected and we tell ourselves these stories that we're so introverted, need all of this alone time. Whereas I argue, yes, we definitely can be introverted and need alone time and be charged by that. But if you're spending time with the right people and the right women, you can just be so fired up and feel so nourished on the inside that you go into your day to day just feeling great. So my day, I just kind of try and schedule in Lots of different things that really help balance me out. So in the morning, I read, I highlight lots of different things in my book, I journal. My brain's already switched on by the time I get to work. So when I am in the office and I'm working, I'm really productive. But then I schedule in time to do things that make me feel super creative, whether it's writing or designing, you know, whether you can outsource a copywriter and designer. Maybe you don't want to. Maybe that's your zone of genius. And we all have different zones of genius. But then. So tonight, for example, I'm then going to go out and have an amazing dinner with a good girlfriend of mine, or I'll schedule in a dance class, or maybe it's yoga, or maybe it's just going home, cooking an amazing dinner with my husband and just chilling and talking about a day. Whatever it is, I try and fit that balance in because I've been on both ends of the spectrum where I'm pushing so hard and telling myself I to have. Have absolutely no time to do anything but work. And so I outsource everything, you know, the chef, the cleaner, the housekeeper, housekeeper, the cook, concierge, all the things. But then I feel so disconnected from the things that light me up. And then I've been on the other side where I don't work enough, and I'm too in that kind of, oh, just let it come stage, that I'm not getting the momentum. And I think we're all different and we're all made up of different balances, but. But it's looking within to find out how much of each thing you need to be able to sustain your performance.

Oh, my God. Okay. I'm just like, so feeling you right now because I have done all of those things and then repeated them again and again. And I think that part of that is like that trial. It's just this constant trial and error because what even looks like balance for us this year will look totally different next year. So I love this conversation because it's like continually changing and evolving along with the times as well, like whatever's coming up for the world and our communities for that year. So it's. It's like this continued cycle, which is actually the fun cycle to try to figure out once you understand how it works. So I love that so much. So as far as you talked a lot about, you know, having an integrator and implementer, and for me, as a creative, that is like, oh, my gosh, God, so Incredibly key. But for people who are maybe just starting out on their business and I. I think it's like so important to try to get somebody maybe before they feel ready, especially if they're noticing as a creator that they're getting exhausted or not pushing things through. I think it's like you said, when things are not getting completed, it's time to really get somebody to help you with that. How do you look for somebody? And how do you hire someone who's in implementer, integrator?

That's a really good question. And to dive into the people that maybe they aren't ready yet. I say you should have left brain days and right brain days. So whether you have fully logic days where you're diving into your finance and spreadsheets, and maybe you have right brain days where you're doing podcasts or creating whatever that looks like for you, that really works for me. But for us looking for an integrator, we got really, really clear on the things that we want them to do as opposed to who we want them to be. So, okay, we know we want them to be organized. We know we want them to have good people skills. Great. But what do we really want them to do? And so I would think about, in terms of processes, everything. Every process that goes through our business and everything that I've been doing that I don't want to do, I map that all out and I'm like, okay, this is a doing list. These are all the things. So anyone that comes on board, I want them to be comfortable doing these things. And then anyone within your team. I always recommend that you all do personality testing to understand exactly who you are, what seat you should be in, where you're best in flow. We do the wealth dynamics test, which is so good. And then whenever we're interviewing anyone or bringing them onto the team, we ask them to do the test too. Because you can always do an interview with someone and think you know what they're like, but then when they come into the team, they kind of. They do their work differently to what you expected.

So definitely that personality testing is great.

Is that just Wealth Dynamics.

Com? Yeah, I think if you just Google Wealth Dynamics, I think that's what it is. But it's been great for us. And me and my business partner, Danielle, we both did it and found out that we are quite, quite different. I'm really creative. I'm called like a star, and she's creative, but more of a mechanic, so more of the processes and stuff. And it gave us a of like, okay, these are the people we have.

On our team right now, and here's what we're missing, and here's who we need. So that was really good. And there's also another book called Traction, which has been one of the best business books I have read. And it really helps you map out your company in the most simplistic but effective way. And within that, it gives you a.

Really, really good overview of what you.

Should be looking for in an integrator and what kind of person they are. It's been really good. And there's another book called High Growth Handbook Book, which my husband surprised me with.

That's like the typical relationship present, but.

It'S a really good book.

And within it, there's a great chapter on how to hire a really good coo. So even if you're not at the stage where you need a COO and maybe you just need some support on the operations side or something like that, that chapter is really powerful in helping.

You understand what kind of people they are and where you'll find them. That's where we started.

Oh, so good. So for your business right now, what do you need the most in order to give yourself what you want this next year and achieve what you want?

More space at every corner.

Yeah, at every corner. I'm just like, where can I create more space? How do I create more space?

What's coming up for you around that? Like, what are you. What are the answers you're getting?

Boundaries. Just set more strict boundaries and not being so afraid to delegate, I can.

Be a bit of a control freak at times. So even having so much support, I can be afraid to delegate certain things. I'm really trying to delegate more, set more boundaries, and then schedule time into my calendar every single day to write. I've absolutely loved writing and really felt.

Back into that within the next year.

And I just want to keep that going even more. But, yeah, I need to let go of control. That is a big thing for me.

What are some of the things that you love to write about?

I love to write about personal development and high performance. That's just my absolute favorite. Some days I'm having kind of days where I love to dive in deep on business and think through the financials.

Or social media or community building.

But what truly lights me up inside is how to be your absolute best self and what that looks like from all aspects.

So are there some things right now that are really coming up for you around what that looks like to reach your highest potential? Like how to really Tune in, which I'm sure your life. I already know this. Your life is the actual project in which I'm sure you write about. So for you, for this next year, I know you're craving so much space, and I want to talk about. Talk about boundaries in. In a minute. But within that space, like, what is coming up for you that's being called to reach your highest potential this year that you can start seeing? That's maybe a surprise for you.

That's a really good one. I really think for me, it's spending.

More time with my friends and investing more time into my relationships, like, completely separate to work. That's what I need to be the best expression of myself. I need my girls around me.

That's exact.

That's so me. This year we'll just have to hang out. It literally is. I said to my husband, I'm like, I think this year, instead of me always joining masterminds, like I always do every single year, I was like, I think I want to commit to just creating really magical spaces with friends and, like, having that be, like, the ma. The version of the mastermind that I need. And I really think that that's where the creativity will, like, be so nurtured, you know, because I've done so much of. We've. We've done so much of the work that now I think it's time to just, like, let that work go even deeper, but, like, create with it. So, yeah, Just sounds so good to me right now. Like, oh, my God, doesn't that sound amazing to just look at your year and know that you have, like, spots for just connection time?

That sounds like absolute perfection to me. And I am so in agreement with every single thing you said.

Yes, well, that's going to require boundaries. So let's go back to that. Let's go back to that topic because, you know, it's the last thing that people want to do is set boundaries, because people don't. The people in their life don't like the boundaries. And also when we set a boundary on the other side of it, we have to deal with letting people down and letting it be okay that we disappoint people and letting it be okay if people think that you're a bitch because you keep saying no to something over and over and over. Except people don't actually understand. They. They'll never understand why you're saying no. So I want to know, first of all, how do you deal with the constant, like, having to say no even to the good things in order to make space for the great things.

Oh, this is a really good question. I try and go into it with as much love as I can and let go of the need to fully explain myself. I think in the past I've felt a need to, like, overcompensate with explanations.

I'm so sorry, I can't do this.

Because this coming up and I'm feeling like. And I'm just working myself up even more as I explain it to them as opposed to just saying, right now, I just can't commit to this.

Is that okay? Can we reschedule something like that?

Or.

These are the times when I can be contacted for this. Please don't contact me outside of those times unless it's completely essential and just being very forthcoming with how I'm feeling. And I think I've been allowed to have those boundaries and have it so easy because the community I've created around me right now is just get it. And they feel exactly the same way. And often, and I know this in your book too, it's about communicating those boundaries with people and saying, you know, if I do cancel something, please don't make me feel guilty about it because I would never do that unless it was purely essential. I just want you to understand and send your love and I will hold the exact same space for you and let me know if you need something different. So that's one, like, in terms of time, that's a big, big, big thing for me. And just being so honest about it. Another thing, honestly, that's come through in terms of boundaries is it's been ingrained in me since I was very young. I am a very honest, to the point, blunt person. Like, I don't spend a lot of time fluffing up or flowering around a subject. I'll kind of just say what I think, what I mean, and would always hope that it would be received in the way I gave it, which was with love. I would never intent to go and say something that would ever upset anyone or make anyone feel bad. But some people will take things very personally. If you say, I actually didn't really like that and I would prefer not to do that next time, I'll take it so personally. And I think over the years it's kind of made me feel like I can't be honest and forthcoming because it might offend someone or might upset someone. And I've just in the past year let that go because, like, I just think that level of judgment on yourself and worrying about being judged is just.

A waste of time. If you truly know you're a good person and you mean well, then you should be able to express yourself in whatever way that comes out.

And for me, it's been owning that and telling people in my life, look, if things aren't working for me, I'm just going to be honest and tell you, but just hear me when I'm saying it with love. And you're always so welcome to come and give me the feedback, too, because I want to know what I can do to be my best self. And that's been a massive, massive thing for me.

Oh, my God.

I.

Okay, so I think this is also the. The fact that you can clearly communicate how you're feeling is why you've been able to move forward in the way that you have. And I always am trying to, number one, get better with this myself, and number two, share how to do this with women. Because I feel like so many women are so afraid to say what they need and. And to also say how they feel and to put those boundaries in, are so afraid of other people's opinions or hurting someone or saying the wrong thing. And I've just. This is my work. This whole. This whole next year is to not take anything personal and just to keep showing up authentic because I'm going to offend people, and that's got to be okay. Like, I have to know that I have it within me to figure it out and get through whatever sort of feedback or criticism or anything that I do out of being me happens. And at the end of the day, that it's always going to be better, that I chose to live on my terms, and that's so hard.

Oh, I love that. And I love that that's something you want to master over the next year. That's an amazing goal.

So where did that come from for you that you feel like it was always something that was a part of you? Was that how your family would speak? Or is that something that you just could immediately see, like, wow, this is really painful to hide how I actually feel.

Feel.

Yeah.

I think as a family, we've always been very brutally honest, so that definitely helped. But I've always been a really big overachiever as well. And, like, through school and university, my.

Number one goal was to do well and to succeed. So at every step of the way.

I was that annoying kid saying, what can I do better? What did I do wrong here? Tell me. Tell me. I would, like, knock on my teacher's doors and go in and be like, can you read this and tell me how it can be better. And I always really just wanted to know how I could be better. And I think approaching it, approaching it on that wavelength. When they came to me with feedback, it was like, ah, this is exactly what I asked for. And they, they gave me that. They gave me their time to go and give me feedback and that's such a blessing. And it kind of got ingrained in me that way and it really has carried through to my business life, my marriage, my friendships. I just want to know how to be better. And if someone takes the time to think through that to make me a better person and to make our relationships or our business better, then I honor that and I'm so grateful for it. And whenever a new team member joins our team, one of the first things I say to them is, you cannot offend me and I am here and I love to receive feedback. So if anytime something comes up, please just give it to me. Don't think about putting it into a shit sandwich because it just wastes both of our time. And I know you mean it well, so just say it. And I try and communicate that with people and I, I think then they kind of do the same thing and they're like, oh, actually, yeah, I would love feedback too. So you can come to me like this. And I like to receive feedback in this way. And then you make a commitment. Okay, I get that. I'm going to try and give you feedback in that way. So good.

Oh my goodness. I feel like this has so much. It's so funny because business has so much to do with relationships too. It's like just about every single day. I feel like with Chris and I, I would rather have a little tiny, like match strike fire than something that I'm constantly like stuffing down and is, you know, just like completely out of control. And I can't get a grip on later on because it's not like these things go away. They end up getting pushed in some closet somewhere and they're going to rear their ugly head later on. Like, that's exactly how business is.

It's so true. Communication is just absolutely everything.

And the thing is though, I don't think people see it enough so they don't understand what it actually looks like. So how do you create? I know that you just mentioned a bit about how to create that communication, but how, when it's something that's already challenging and you need to talk about it within a friendship, within a business, within your relationship, how do you approach those conversations and how do you Prepare for them especially, I'm gonna add, especially if the person is like a professional arguer.

Oh, yeah. So I try not to prepare too much because then it gives me anxiety. I feel like I hold it within myself. Like, I just need to get this out. So I will. If I've got to deliver something that I'm going to find really hard to say and it might be a little bit hard to hear, I will go and do some breath work or a.

Meditation or something that gets the anxiety out of my body and allows me to come into that meeting with a lot of love, very heart open and in a very calm way, as opposed to coming in. Be like, I need to tell you this. I'm coming in. And I'm like, I love you and I appreciate you and I'm so glad that you're open to this conversation. I'm just going to say what it is that's been bothering me or what we're going to talk about, and then let's talk about it. I want to hear your thoughts. And then I just bite the bullet and dive right in and I try and get that conversation off my chest as soon as possible. As long as I've had a chance to really sit with my thoughts and feel like what I'm saying is worthwhile saying. And it's not just something that's, you know, maybe it bothered me because it was reflected. It reflected from someone else, something else inside of me. And actually I needed to go and do inner work on it. Like, if it's something, something that's generally very constructive, then I will just go and get that out the way. But you've just got to rip the band aid off and like, dive in, I think headfirst.

What was your biggest learning lesson from this last year?

Oh, what a good question. I think my biggest learning lesson was I need to set bigger goals. And the way that I do that now, and we do within the team is when we set a goal, we double it it. Because I think it's so easy to play small and it's so easy to set goals that make you feel good as opposed to making you feel scared. And as much as I'm talking about balance and wanting to be in my feminine and have boundaries, I also really, I am ambitious and I carry about my goals. So it's something we've done. We've doubled them. And actually, I think we've hit about 70% of our goals that we've doubled, which is so huge because if you didn't double it, then you're aiming for something so much lower and who knows if you'd actually get as far as you have. So even with any of my clients, anyone that comes with a goal, I'm like, what would it look like if you doubled it or if you had to do that in half the time, what would you do differently? And just getting that mindset going is just so powerful.

Oh man, that's good. I'm taking notes on that one. What was your biggest challenge from this last year?

My biggest challenge was.

Learning how to.

Be married and learning. Learning how to do that whilst running a big company. That was really hard knowing how to segment my time and make sure that my husband feels really loved and gets what he needs. And at the same time, I get what I need and can also go and focus on my business. Marriage is a real big learning curve. I've been married for like about a year and a half now, so the past year has been figuring all that out and like, what that looks like and how to communicate with each other and how to figure out what he needs and what I need. That's. Yeah, it's a lot.

So how do you, how do you implement that into your day? What does the daily look like so that you guys stay, you know, cohesive on in the same conversation?

Yeah, we spend our mornings together and we normally just cuddle up on the sofa with coffee, reading our books, journaling and just talking about anything that's coming up. We talk about what we've got going on that day and we both have access to each other's calendars. So if he sees I've got a really big meeting or a crazy day, he'll send me like a nice message throughout the day. Or, or he'll say, I'm gonna bring you lunch, I know you're crazy. Or I'm gonna walk the puppy and just little things and I'll do the same for him. And then every night our non negotiable is that we have dinner together. So I will always make sure I'm home for dinner. And I love to make space to cook dinner if I can. And it's something that really just lights me up and I know it's totally his love language, so that's really nice. We have dinner and we just try to not talk about business. Our phones are nowhere to be seen and we, we just talk about how each other's feeling and dive into things like that. And then we'll either go our separate ways that evening and do other things or we'll spend that time together. And then when we get into bed, we'll do our gratitudes. And we always dive deep into three things we're grateful for. And we normally honestly spend about an hour in bed just talking and spending just uninterrupted time together. We often reflect in like, you did this today and it made me feel this way and I really loved it. And I would love more of this and praising the other person for things they did really well so that they can get to know you even better. But those are our non negotiables, the dinner and the bedtime gratitudes. Even when we're traveling, we both travel a ton. We'll still check in with each other even on different time zones and do our gratitude when we're going to bed. And it's just, it's been the best thing that we've done.

I love that Chris and I have that too. And I think that for couples who really want to make sure that you are moving forward together, I think you're, you do need a list of, of non negotiables, things that really tie you together. I honestly don't know what I would do without ours. Like, I have no idea. We would definitely. I told Chris the other day on a walk, I'm like, you know, I think if it wasn't for these walks, I think we'd be divorced. And he goes, what? And I was like, but for real, like, really look at what this daily connection has done for us. Like, if I wouldn't be able to check in and process every day and kind of know that I'm still, you know, important or he's important in this way or that this is working and this isn't like, how does that work? You know, it's just like really needing to nurture that relationship at some point. So I love that you have those, those times for yourself. So are there things in your life right now that are scaring you?

Oh, yeah, definitely. The way my team is growing so quickly is scary.

We are currently advertising for three more full time positions. We just took on two in the past two weeks.

And it's terrifying. Like, completely terrifying.

Why is that terrifying for people who don't understand, like what that looks like to grow so fast? What are the fears around that?

There's two big fears coming up around that. The first thing is just being financially responsible for so many people and knowing.

That this is their thing and you are providing their thing. That's, that's really scary. And you really do feel like you have this big responsibility and it adds an even deeper layer to what you're doing. Like right now I feel so responsible.

To my clients and my audience. But now it's an even deeper level.

So that's a big thing. And then the second thing I kind of touched on earlier, but it's letting.

Go of control, you know, like, this company is my baby.

It's something I've worked on for years and have always had a hand in pretty much everything.

And now that's not so much the case. There's things going on in the business that I actually don't even know about.

Which just to say out loud is terrifying as a control freak.

But it's something I really care about, developing more and working on. And I know that this is the most perfect challenge. And it's also just the business is so much bigger than me and it's so much bigger than Danielle. And now it needs more people on the team who can take it to the next level with their own unique genius. And that excites me and that levels it out.

How do you stay organized? Like, this is probably my biggest question. As new things come in and new projects come up and you know, I think with different team members who you need to be putting different tasks on, just making it's more. Okay, this is definitely a. This is definitely a control freak question as well. How do you know that your people are also staying organized? And how do you stay organized?

Yeah, so. Well, we use different apps within the business. So we use Monday.com, which is an amazing project management software and can generally show you what everyone is working on at different points and when their tasks going to be due. And it will tell you if something's overdue. You can use Asana for that. But. But we were using Asana when we first set the business up and we've moved more towards Monday. Cause it gives you a better macro picture of projects. We have Slack, which is absolutely amazing. And there's this bot on Slack called Standuply and if you have any remote workers. So we have an office in the UK and then we have one in la. So we're on different time zones and that can be really hard to manage people and make sure they're staying on top of their priorities. So.

So there's this bot you can plug.

Into Slack called Standuply and it'll message everyone on a morning and say, what is your top priorities this morning? And the employee will reply to this bot and then it'll say, great, where do you need support? And then it'll say they can say if they need support or not. And then we have this leadership channel where all of the results get automatically sent to us and filtered so we can just read through and see, okay, this is what everyone's working on. Then at the end of the day, the bot will pop up again to that person and say, hey, you said you were going to do XYZ today. What have you actually worked on, achieved? And that person will put in what they've done. And then again, it'll get sent to us and it'll ask them, you know, are you blocked by anything? Do you need anything? It'll get sent back to us and we can look through that channel and see and then reach out to that person if we need to. But it's just a really good way of staying on top of things and not letting anything kind of run ahead and get away from you. And then just general, we have team meetings and everyone knows what they're responsible for. And those notes go into are Evernote, Slack Monday, asana, whatever it is, and kept there so we can check at any given point what's going on within the business.

Awesome. Thank you for that. What do you think? What are some questions that you think most female entrepreneurs, or let's just say entrepreneurs in general, are not asking that they should be asking, like, what are they missing? What's the reason why they're not getting to where they typically want? What should they be asking?

Asking? I think they should be asking, why on earth am I doing any of this anyway? I think, you know, the reason you.

Start your business is probably not the reason that you still continue to run it today and just constantly check in and be like, why am I doing any of this? Will help you decide how you're going to continue doing it in future. And I think a lot of entrepreneurs get to a stage of burnout or worry or panic because they have not been checking in with themselves around that question. And I think when it comes to working with people, it's really important that you understand what matters to them and why they're doing what they're doing. So constantly asking those questions and not being afraid to take a deep dive into, well, what does it mean to you to be working on this project with me? And why is that important to you? And using that to be able to then understand people better and have kind of build up your relationships. And then I think people are so held back from fear. And I just see it a lot, whether it's fear of seeing money come in the bank and not being able to spend enough to then go and grow it because they're harboring. What if I lose it?

Just fear of doing things differently.

Fear of people laughing at them on social or fear of them looking like they're imposters and being found out. Just so much fear.

Yeah, let's talk about that for a minute. Because, you know, for a lot of people, the fear is really real. And I experienced intense fear for so long that it held me back from everything. And it wasn't until I really, like, now I have this amazing relationship with fear for the most part. That's like I fully accept whatever comes on the other side. So I actually let it play out in my head and I'm like, okay, if that's the worst thing that's possibly going to happen, could I accept and could I still love myself afterward? And will I be able to survive and will I pull myself through and do I have loving people to help me with it? So what are some tactics that you've come up with? Because you know what?

You.

The bigger the thing that people don't really think about is the bigger that you are, the more that's on the line. So your fears out of anyone, which is funny, you know, out of people who have really large followings and have large businesses, technically, they could literally drown in fear because the fears are just amplified by numbers of people and things like that.

Like that.

But it's like I find the people who have to deal with it more actually have such a more like, beautiful way of dealing with fear that it's the only way that you could be able to manage those numbers. And I also believe it's the reason why they came is because you're prepared for them no matter what happens. So how do you. At night, if something comes up, because this is where it really bothers people is at night before their head hits the pillow, when they're just about to do that post, when they're just about to release something new, when they're just about to change something, they're business. How do you deal with those voices in the back of your head?

My business partner Danielle actually said something. We were recording our own podcast this.

Morning, and she said something really interesting. She said, fear doesn't like to be named. And I love that she said with her, she's really felt held back by fear. And the best thing that she does is name fear. Okay, this, what I'm feeling, it's showing up as this. It means this. And that's really changed her relationship with Fear, which I absolutely love. For me, it's learning how to surrender. And I think I will still be on my deathbed learning how to surrender, because I don't know how anyone masters that because it's so hard. But it's being able to surrender and not being so attached to the outcomes or to what you have. I fully accept that things can go wrong and, you know, might turn upside down, and that can happen from one day to the next, and I have to be okay with that. So I try to, like, disattach myself from what that outcome might be.

And the second thing is just surrendering.

To, you know, so what if someone sees that and makes fun of you? So what if that person falls out with you? Or so what if that happens, just being okay with it. I read a really good book called Letting Go, and it talked through a lot of stuff around surrender and how when you are standing in courage, you're on such a high frequency, and that's when you start to attract a lot of things to you. So I try and stand in courage as much as I can by affirming what it is I want to achieve. And if I'm having those days where fear is creeping in and I'm like, oh, can I really do this? Am I the right person to do it? I'll journal down all of the amazing things that I've accomplished to remind myself and kind of give myself that pep talk of, look what you think done. You've always been okay. Things have happened that you've overcome and you've survived, and that's going to happen again. And just exactly what you were saying. Will I still love myself? Will I still have my relationships? Will I have the things that matter to me if this doesn't work out? And the answer if is pretty much yes, otherwise you probably shouldn't be doing it.

I love that so much.

And it's.

What a beautiful thing that. To really think, like, the act of courage, which is always just a choice, is such a high frequency. So just to know that when you make that choice, you're actually attracting great things to you. That's like, a really beautiful thought. Thank you for that. And I, you know, I always go back to the core beliefs that I have around, and I had to do some serious work around this this year, which I did not realize. Like, I had this deep fear around one of my income streams that's always been there. A deep fear, or not always been there, but that I took a.

Let me just.

Let me just go back for a Minute that took eight years to really build up, but is a, is a reoccurring monthly thing for me that's like very solid for me. And I, I wasn't wanting to confront that. I had some really deep fears around who would I be and what would happen if we lost this. And I had to do some really crazy work around that. And I can't even tell you, I didn't realize that I was blocking other things in my life and that I was feeling so fearful around, you know, letting go of some certain things that I wasn't wanting to do anymore. Not that particular thing, but just other things around how we can start to self identify with things. And when that identity can get too attached to our business or the things that we're growing, that's when we can find that we're kind of at the standstill. So I'm wondering if you have association with that at all, with your business. Like I know that you just said kind of being so okay if everything goes away, but, but there's this dance, this point of saying, will I really be okay? And then doing some work around it.

Yeah, because I had the experience of losing it. And coming out the other end stronger has kind of started to push that fear away from me.

When I was running my companies a.

Couple of years ago, actually not even a couple of years ago, I was in the US and for anyone that is not American, you will know moving to the US and immigrating to a.

Different country is really, really difficult.

And it's not, not just the paperwork or anything, it's a really long process. I was on a visa and something happened where it got taken away. And I was in process of kind of being able to stay, but I wasn't able to work or earn money or do anything. So I had to dissolve a lot of the parts of my business and just sit with that for six months until it was okay for me to start officially immigrating over here. And that was the first month of that was the most difficult thing. To have everything you've been working so hard on pulled away from you just because you want to live in a different country was so incredibly hard. And you know, some incredible things have come from that. But it happened one Wednesday afternoon. It just happened and I wasn't expecting it. And I feel like I lost so much in that one afternoon. But I said survived. I came out the other end of it so much stronger. And what I've been able to create from having that six months of space has been absolutely incredible. So that really helps me get through that fear that comes up of what if, what if? And then I'm like, you know, what? What if I get that space to do it all again? I'll be fine.

Effy.

So true. My husband and I had actually, he lost his job back in 2, 2007, I believe that was. And we ended up losing our house and our cars and having to like, downsize into this tiny little apartment and just starting from scratch after being together for a few years and doing really, really well. And I think that that's what I go back to as well, is saying it's a core. It's a core belief, though, that kind of developed from that and also from other stories that I've heard from people. Like, it doesn't take long to read a few biographies to realize that the best parts of people's lives have come from the lowest point. So it's. That's my core belief, is that if for some reason, knock on wood, but something happens, it's for something better. It's because that probably need to be cleared from your life and torn from you or you would never let it go. And that's just a core belief for me. So. And that's the thing that's going to keep me in survival mode, so. In surviving and thriving later on. So, yeah, I think that's really beautiful. Beautiful for people to hear because what can happen is sometimes people fear success, which is.

Oh, yeah.

Which can be huge. That can be a huge block that you don't even let yourself get started because you're like, well, what will happen if I lose that? You know, you let your identity attach into that so much. So I want to know what is the most exciting thing coming up for you this year in business and personally?

Oh, great question.

So the most exciting thing coming up for me right now in business is our high level mastermind. We've never had one before and we launched it a couple of months ago. And I am working with women who.

Already have big audiences or are building audiences and are having such a massive impact.

And this fuels me on like a soul level because this idea of being a multiplier, we have our audience and we're making an impact every single day.

On so many women. But to be able to then take what we've done to other women's businesses and help them impact more people, it.

Just lights me up.

And it's something that I wake up in the morning feeling so excited about. We've put that into our core values at Boss Babe to be multipliers, because it's just not enough for us just to kind of work within our own community.

We want to be able to spread.

That and do as much as we can and allow other people to go and impact. So that's a very, really, really exciting thing for me personally. You know, it's the holidays, and I am going to take more time off.

This December than I've taken off in a really long time. And I'm so excited about it. I have so many things lined up. It's going to be my 27th birthday on Christmas Eve.

I'm going to be going to Whistler skiing. I have lots of.

I have every single week, at least two things planned with my girlfriends. And I'm just making so much room for that. And it's just lighting me up, up and making me feel amazing.

Oh, my God, I love that. So are you Sagittarius?

Are you a. I'm a Capricorn.

Okay.

Yep.

You're right on the cusp, right?

Yeah. I was supposed to be born a Sagittarius, but then I came out late as a Capricorn.

Well, I feel you're Sagittarian ways. I'm Sagittarius. My birthday's coming right up, so. Yeah. So exciting. December is like. I feel the same way about December. Just some space and some fun. And I have not done this, this in so long. So I. It's just. This has been such a fun conversation because I feel like we're a lot in the same space right now. So. Natalie, I am so grateful that you have come into my life and that our paths have crossed. And I just want everybody to be able to find you and follow you and learn from you because you do so many amazing things. So where can we make sure that we are getting all of your awesome info?

Ah, thank you so much. Ever since meeting you, I just adore you. You can find me on my personal Instagram @amnatity or at my boss babe Instagram, which is ossfabe.ink. and then we also have an amazing blog called Boss babe. It's on bossfab.com and then we are going to be launching in January our podcast, which I am so excited to have you on as well. But that's another really big thing that I'm working on that I'm so excited to get out.

Oh, my gosh. Okay, we have to talk about that. That'll be so amazing. And I always end on one last question. Are you ready?

I'm ready.

Okay, so if you are. You're in an elevator. It's only like a 30 second ride. It's with a total stranger. And they look over at you and they ask you, how can I make myself happy? What do you say?

I would say sit with yourself daily. Turn inward. No distractions whatsoever. Whatever that is for you, it doesn't have to be meditation. Turn inward and and deeply understand what is your soul's blueprint and what it needs to feel nourished.

That's so beautiful. Thank you so much. And you guys, if you love this podcast as much as I did, make sure you share it with your friends. And until next time, earn your happy.

Bye everyone.

Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think.

Would love it, that would be absolutely.

Amazing and we would be forever grateful.

Also, please leave us a review.

If you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought and honest comment, tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again guys.

Bye Bye.