309: Use This To Keep Going When You Want To Quit

In order to be in this really goal oriented place and to achieve the things we want and to feel the way we want to feel, it's going to require a lot of grace.

Welcome to the earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss.

Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness.

Expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author.

Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you.

Bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships.

We don't wait until we're ready for.

Someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn, own and unapologetically.

Rock your happiness every single day.

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Here we go. Welcome back to the podcast. And it's time for another quickie because there's always time to fit in inspiration. And I am just so excited because my Bliss project is coming up so soon, you guys, and I get to be in the room with all of you having these conversations. And I will tell you, it's pretty darn cool when I actually get to see your faces and feel the energy back so that we can make this conversation even more personal. So if you have not yet gotten your ticket, I hope that I get to meet you and see you there because it is just such a phenomenal weekend of connecting with your tribe. And I'm telling you, we can't do this alone, you guys. So if you're thinking, not really sure if I need that or I think that, you know, I need to continue on with my goals and get really focused and I don't really need to connect with people. Okay, number one, even if you don't come to my event, stop fooling yourself. You need to connect with people. You won't reach your goals by doing it alone. And if you do, it'll feel like pushing a boulder uphill and it'll take ten bazillion times long. So for the love, just reach out to people and at least ask or join a program or get a coach or ask to be mentored or reach out to people or come to the Bliss Project so you can go to theblissproject.info for your tickets. And today, you guys, I'm talking all about grace today because I really feel like you're all in a place of wanting to reach your goals, to be a better person, to make this year different from the last. Or maybe that's just where I'm at. No, really, I communicate with you guys a lot via Instagram and just see what you're posting and what you're sharing. And I have a really good feel, especially from Q and A days, what you guys are, where you're at and what you want to do. And you're a lot like me and I just really get to communicate with you in a big way also through this last year on the book tour. And I know that most of my listeners are people who are really goal oriented or want to start a business or have an incredible business, but just want to be better going to the next level, right? Like just always that the podcast is always the voice to try to get you to that place where you're just evolving in the way that feels good from a loving place. Right? And I think that's just what we all desire. But in order to be in this really goal oriented place and to achieve the things we want and to feel the way we want to feel, it's going to require a lot of grace. And I was searching the Internet just for different ideas around grace and different quotes around grace and something came up that just really caught my attention and it says, grace is so great that we don't have to be in bondage to sin, we can overcome sin. And I just loved that because when I read the word sin, I just looked at sin as it's when we go against ourselves, right? It's when we go and we're upset with ourselves over something we didn't do, right? Or we betray ourselves or we didn't follow through again. And grace is the choice to not hold yourself in bondage over screwing up. I want you guys to really take a minute and realize that when we get mad at ourselves, when we self sabotage, we're literally choosing to go and put ourselves in bondage. Except the old way of beating ourselves up or telling ourselves we're not good enough or thin enough, fit enough, pretty enough, smart enough, whatever it was that might have gotten you somewhere before. But it actually is something that doesn't work long because it burns out. It's not long lasting and it's not sustainable. So some people are actually. And I've been addicted to this. This is how I know I can speak to it. I used to be really addicted to kind of like coaching or like tough loving myself into a goal like you guys that was in the fitness world. Like I would tough love myself into getting super fit and lean and ready for stage all the time. Like you can do this, come on, be more disciplined. Why are you doing that? Like that's such a whatever. Like I would just kind of beat myself up or verbally abuse myself or be like tough loving myself and fooling myself thinking that the tough love was going to get me there. And you know what? I would be lying to you if I said it didn't because clearly it worked. Except it stops working because it's not sustainable, it's not real, it's not based in love. And the only thing that is lasting is something that's based in love to keep you going. Whether that is that your reason for why you want to do it is because you want to help people or you want to feel good, or you want to help yourself, or you want to love yourself or you want to love your family or you want to do something impactful, you have to really root into that because long term it won't really work all of the time, right? It's going to burn out. So while pain can be a huge motivator, the pain to get away from or the motivation to get away from the pain, you also need the grace. So yes, pain can be motivating, but as far as tough loving yourself to death, it's probably not going to get as far as you want. So I would definitely say this year, when you are going for your goals, whenever you start to feel that old familiar language coming up in your head of oh, this is what once worked for me, or oh, thinking this way or pushing myself here or tough loving myself or talking bad about myself or to myself or telling myself I'm stupid and a failure and that I just need to be better and comparing myself like try a new way. If you haven't been able to get there and stay there and feel happy, it's probably because the old way is not sustainable, right? It can move you forward, but it's not sustainable. So bring in grace and release yourself from the bondage of that self abuse or that self that just really holding on to beating yourself up. Because as you set bigger goals, it becomes easier and easier if you miss them when you not if, when you miss them because you are going to miss goals along the way. You're going to have to do lists and you're going to have your tasks broken down and you're going to know what you need to do each day to feel good and you're going to miss them. And if you sit in that self sin, right, if we compare it to this, grace is so great that we don't have to Be in bondage to sin. We can overcome sin. So when I'm saying that word, if that's a trigger word for you, when I'm saying it, it's just, I'm saying the sin against ourselves of being so upset because we did not hit the mark that we thought, like, letting that go and bringing in grace. You're not perfect. You're not supposed to be. You're actually supposed to use grace and learn what that really. And love yourself in missing the mark and love yourself in the failure. Because it's actually not failure. Like, there actually is not bad things tied with those words. They're a part of life. They happen. They're a part of it. So releasing the negative around it and bringing in the grace, like, I failed. Great. Awesome. What can I do next? Awesome. I still love me. Self acceptance, right? So as you move forward, bring in even more grace. And I would love for you to sit even right now if you are at home or you have a pen and paper and write out what grace means to you and what grace do you need to feel good? Write it out and give it to yourself. Give it to yourself. Put your first name on there, literally say, lori, when this happens, I want you to remember that you are so loved and that you have so much grace. And the more grace and forgiveness that you bring to yourself, the faster you get back to being you and feeling good, whatever that looks like. But use your first name and write yourself a beautiful letter about the grace that you need, the grace you're going to use, and what grace actually means to you, right? And how it's gonna save you, how it's going to save you and help move you forward on your goals and go back to love every single time. So take a minute to write that out. Because if we don't get intention and we don't make our own definition and we don't know how to use it, we'll never use it. So if we don't know the language around it and how to replace those old thoughts that are not graceful, if we don't replace those old sabotaging thoughts with this beautiful, graceful sentence that you're about to make up, you won't have a file to pull from. So don't fool yourself. If you skip this step and you're like, oh, yeah, I'll bring in grace for myself. You don't actually know how to replace the old sentences that are going on in your head. And that's all you're doing. You're replacing a pattern of sentences create it, replace it and bring yourself some serious grace this year you guys.

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I'm so grateful for you and I hope that this helped because let me tell you, grace is just like, it's literally been one of the most beautiful things that I've brought into my life this year. And I can't tell you how much I've been able to let go of, move forward, feel grateful for where I probably would have used to beat myself up, feel bad, take things personal. Just Grace. Like, we're all just doing the best that we can. And I can honestly say I'm doing the best that I can do. And some days that looks like kicking ass and other days it doesn't look so awesome. And that's the best I can do. Like, that's the best I can do that day. Because I'm a human and I'm all over the place and it's all a part of it. And I have to have those days to be a human. Otherwise, guess what, you guys, you wouldn't be on this earth. You'd be an angel. So you get to be a human and you get to have shit days and you get to have grace. And that's the beauty of it. So bring in the grace. And I'm sending you guys so much love. And until next time, earn your happy.

Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful.

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Bye Bye, Sam.