315: Make Up Your Mind To Be Happy

I'm going through a phase of letting go and saying no and I'm really watching how my people pleasing patterns are coming out and how my truth is fighting with just old ghosts. Welcome to the Earn your happy Podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn, own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Welcome back to the Earn your happy podcast and it's time for another quickie because there's always time to fit in inspiration into your day. So wherever we are, if you're on the step mill, if you're outside, if you're driving, if you're at work, if we're on lunch, share your lunch with me. I'm totally that kid who would want a part of your sandwich or your cookies. I will absolutely take bites because there's no calories in bites. So I hear and believe. So there's a quote that I love that is kind of for where I'm at right now. And I will tell you, with the new year, I have been like all over the place, but in the best way because I can honestly say I'm in a place right now in my life where I'm just kind of accepting all emotions and I'm observing how my patterns want to judge an emotion, like if it feels depressed or if it feels bored or if it feels like I'm not doing enough or if it feels like I should be doing something. Like I'm really observing how me slowing down a bit in certain areas is really causing old patterns to come up of you should be doing more what it what the only way to get things done or to get things that you desire is to hustle, is to do more, is to do a lot, is to have things on the schedule. And I also have a part of me that believes that I can work but also attract. So I'm in this state of duality with two fighting ideas existing in my mind at the same time. And I was just on a podcast with Alyssa Nobriga who's going to be coming on the Podcast. So her podcast isn't out yet, but really talking about giving each of these ideas a voice. And so this is an exercise I'm going to do. I haven't done it yet, so I'm inviting you all to do it with me to write down the two contrasting ideas. The one that says slow down or go do that thing that you love or go take that dance class or say no to those people, so that you can have some just space in your mind to not feel overwhelmed, because that's when you function best. Give that voice a voice. So when I say give it a voice, write down what it's saying, why it's saying it needs it, what it actually wants, how much time it actually needs, and then write the other voice that says, no, you need to hustle. You should be doing this, you should be doing that. You should be planning this, you should be trying this. Write down that voice and where that voice is coming from as well. Then underneath both of them, write the pros and cons. So maybe write the fears of each one of those voices, right? And then write what the truth is. So write the fears of what the voices are. So, for example, write the fear of the voice of relaxing, right? Or of doing less and saying no. Well, I'm going to disappoint people. I'm scared people won't like me. I'm afraid that I'm not going to get anything done. I'm afraid whatever those fears are, list them all out. And then write the truth underneath that. The truth is people will still like me. The truth is the people who don't like me for slowing down and honoring myself and respecting myself aren't people I want in my life anyway so I can release them. The truth is. What else is the truth for you? And then on the other side, that's the hustle side. You can write. You know, what's the fear around not doing that? If I don't do this, I feel like nothing's going to come to me. If I keep doing this, I'm afraid I'm going to burn out or whatever those fears are. And then write the truth underneath it. The truth for me is that if I keep this hustle up, I have no spark for life left. The truth is I can't hear that voice that my soul. I can't hear that voice of God. I can't hear that voice of whatever it is that helps guide me if I keep hustling like this. The truth is that even in the nothingness, there is something beautiful happening and to trust that. So maybe underneath that, right, I trust and create what you trust. Because at the end of the day, I know if you listen to this podcast, you know how I feel. It is all made up anyway. It's just one big decision to choose how you want to feel and choose who you want to be and choose how you want this life to play out. Because as you think it, so it shall be. And as you act it out, you will become. And as you take this action that now changes into your identity, right? Because the last podcast I talked about, or a couple podcasts ago, I talked about how Tony, Tony Robbins says that action changes your identity. You become it when you do it right, and you do it when you think it and you think it. When you choose to let go of your old identity, when you choose to believe that's not who you are, when you choose to know that you actually get to choose. So back to that quote. Because that's just how I am. I forget everything. Just kidding. That would be like a terrible mantra for me to have. All right. So most folks are as happy as they make their minds up to be. Most folks are as happy as they make their minds up to be. So that's Abraham Lincoln. And it also might be most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be because I was reading it wrong. So choose your quote of the day. I love that quote because it's the truth. Because I'm going through a phase of letting go and saying no. And I'm really watching how my people pleasing patterns are coming out and how my truth is fighting with just old ghosts, right? How my truth is fighting with old ways and things that I was told and ways that aren't actually the truth. Now I do not want you to take this podcast and think that you can just sit there and not do without about it happening. Because I do believe that you need to take massive action and you will have years where you are just working your ass off like no other and it's required. And then you will have to observe when that is no longer working or serving you. And don't worry, you'll get signs and to rest, right? And I also believe that maybe that's a lie too, that maybe that's made up too. I do know that you will have to hustle, but I think that there are ways that you could build in self care and some time off. And I was terrible about that in the beginning, but you will have times and days where you are just making it happen. And sometimes There isn't a huge break, but if you can project and look down the road and build it in, please learn to do that early on now. So back to the quote again. Most folks are about as happy as they make their minds up to be. And I'll tell you, even in the moments when I was like hustling and tired and exhausted, I had to continue to choose why I was happy about that. Right. And now in the questionable, boredom or the questionable, I hate even calling it boredom, but it's a feeling I'm experiencing and I don't want to judge it so because I just don't know what I should be doing. Even though I'm finding things to do, it's just not a pull in a certain direction like what I'm used to. So I'm just working this out right now on this. I almost said radio station. But you guys, these are different points in our lives that if we can just let them be and actually feel them, like take the time to feel them, take that 90 seconds to actually feel them, right then you. It's going to pass again. I was just talking to alyssa and it's 90 seconds. That emotion will pass if you truly deeply sit and feel it and then you can choose again. So what we choose is what we will get. Always what we choose is what we will get.

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So I'm sending you guys so much love today. I think this is actually a quickie. Like it, it actually falls under quickie where normally I tend to talk a little bit more than just a quickie. So I'm so grateful for you in this beautiful new year. I'm so excited about all of the things that you have planned and that you have going on and I have no doubt that they will happen for you. Speak them, declare them, write them every single day. Speak them out loud so that you hear them in your own words. Say them right now, after this podcast or during this podcast so you can hear yourself becoming the person who talks like your future self, who talks like the person who already has the manifestation become her or him. Now choose that person right now. Remember that your identity shifts through actions. Your identity shifts through actions. So until next time everyone, I'm so grateful for you and earn your happy Bye bye. Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earth. Earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment. Tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again guys. Bye bye.