321: Use Confusion to Find Clarity

I'm stuck. I don't know how to get out. I don't have the answers. I don't have the people. Those are not mantras in your head. Those are not empowering sentences that are going to help you get out. Do you see what I'm saying? So your thoughts are literally your command center for your life. Welcome to the Earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model turned self love of junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn, own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Welcome back to the earn your happy podcast and it's time for another quickie because there's always time to fit in inspiration. And I am freaking out right now because we have started the Fast foundations mastermind. So if you did not know, my husband, Chris Harder has an elite mastermind that he does where he takes people from six figures to upper six figures and into seven figures or people in seven figures who want to exceed where they're at right now. And it's an incredible group of human beings. And the more that Chris did this and the more that it's filled up now for two years in a row, we also realize that so many people message us who are not yet to that point or they're just starting their business out. And these are the people that we also want to be helping as well. So we have created a place for you. So if you have a business and you want to grow your business this year with a group of people with more clarity. If you feel like you're not sure completely yet what you're doing, but you have started your business, go to fastfoundations.com right now because it's going to really let you know exactly who this is for. So if it's piqued your curiosity, go over there because we are about to go on an amazing journey for the first half of the year together. There are two in person events where we actually get to spend time in the same room answering all of your questions and bringing in experts in different.

Areas to teach you for all of.

The things that you need when you are first starting out in your business and all of your questions can get answered, hopefully we can save you, which is our goal. A whole lot of mistakes that we made. So you guys go check that out right now because we are so excited about it and so excited to put you in a group with other people who are in the exact same, same spot as you. So on today's episode, I want to talk about clarity. Because there is nothing more powerful than having clarity around your life, around what you're doing, around your vision, around your mission. And the reason that this is such a hot topic for me right now is because I'm seeking clarity. And currently I find it so crazy that confusion is typically how we find clarity. And I find it so nuts that chaos and feeling maybe bad or feeling overwhelmed or not liking where you're at or feeling stuck is actually the first steps to clarity. So sometimes feeling completely stuck, feeling overwhelmed, and feeling confused can be the first step into clarity. Why? Because you realize that you are not happy where you are and you have to start assessing what is not working right. You're getting feedback right now. So this is the important part that I want you to realize. Please don't get stuck in the feedback loop and don't get stuck in the feeling bad and don't get stuck in the victim mode or victim mentality. Like, this is happening to me. I'm stuck. I don't know how to get out. I don't have the answers. I don't have the people. Those are not mantras in your head. Those are not empowering sentences that are going to help you get out. Do you see what I'm saying? So your thoughts are literally your command center for your life. So notice that I didn't say they're just like informing you. It's the command center. So I think a thought, why is this happening to me? It's commanding me to look at, oh, why is this happening to me? Poor me. Victim mode, right? So if you want to get a better answer, you've got to input a better question. And right now, you may not be programmed for better questions. So you're going to have to get on the ball and you're going to have to start observing your thoughts and you're going to have to start watching them. Because there comes a difference in your life when you start to notice that the person thinking the thoughts is just basically a pattern that you've picked up in your. In your life, right? That the. The thoughts that are going through your head, the sentences, it's just a mosh. Like, it's basically just a big mix, mosh up, mosh pit of different people's ideas and things that you've learned. And at any given time, you don't have to identify with the thoughts in your head any longer. You can be an observer and say, I see those. I understand that those are products of my environment, but they're not me. Right? At a soul level, I am no longer identifying with those things. And now I need to ask better questions. So what can I do to stop feeling this way? When do I feel my best? Who am I around when I feel alive? What am I reading when I feel like I'm gaining knowledge? What am I listening to when I feel like I'm on fire? Right? Better questions, you guys, and then program them into your day. So I just heard the freaking most awesome exercise ever. And you should do this with a friend who has your best intentions in your life. And Todd Herman, whose podcast is coming out soon, talked about today. I just got off an interview with him, and he was talking about how he sat down with a friend and had his friend basically write out his week after he told him all the things he wanted to do and all the issues and the blocks in his life. And his friend was like, here's what you should do. This is what you just said would make you happy. Here's how it would look in your week. Like, here's your normal schedule, and here's how you build a sin. And you really don't have excuses. When someone who's looking out for your best intentions and can understand it and can not identify with the old stories and the old patterns can say, why aren't you doing this? Right? They don't hear the thoughts of, yeah, but that's hard. Or, yeah, I might get nervous or I won't fit in, or what if they don't like me? It's like, just freaking do it. Like, just do it. Do the thing. So, clarity. Let's talk about what clarity is. Clarity is freedom, right? Clarity is basically putting all of your energy towards the most important actions that are going to move the needle forward. When you don't have clarity, you're like a sift. Like you are. Or is it a sieve? I don't know. You're literally leaking everywhere because all of your energy is going all over because you're not clear on what action steps you should be doing. So I'm reading a quote right now. I think it says, billy Cox wrote this quote. Clarity is power. The more clear you are about what you want, the more likely you are to achieve it. Because it's just, you're going to wake up and you're going to schedule the things that help you get there. If you don't have clarity and you're like, yeah, I kind of want to do this thing. You're going to wake up and say, well, what should I do? Like, what are my first steps? And you're going to get so overwhelmed and waste all of your willpower just thinking on what those first steps are of what you maybe want to do, and you're not quite sure. So this is going to be a repeat cycle. If you're in this cycle right now, can I get an amen? And can I also get a I'm not going to be stuck in this cycle anymore. I'm moving forward. How can I get clarity? I don't know. Say it with me. How am I going to get clarity? Okay, well, here's how. You're all on the edge of your seat right now. I know I am, because I'm waiting to hear what I'm about to say because I need more clarity. So what I want you to do is sometimes realizing that clarity also comes from getting rid of things. So for me, this is truly the case right now. I can't hear what the next thing I would like to do is. And a lot of times, because I'm a creator and because I love ideas, this can also be my Achilles heel, is that I get so many ideas that I can start to feel really unclear on which idea to act on first. On if this is the same idea on if an idea needs more gestation. I get really, really, really scattered because they're all good ideas. And I can tend to get really overwhelmed and not feel clear. So I also know that right now I'm in a space where I'm allowing myself space to figure out and give the gestation period needed, which I usually never give myself, to figure out which idea wants through first. But what I'm observing is that sometimes too much space can also make me feel, like, bored. So what I want to do is I'm going to fill my space with something that I enjoy, and I'm really going to start looking at what brings me the most energy. Because at the end of the day, I am always in the business of selling my energy. And to be quite honest with you, I just want to feel a lot of energy. And I know that when I'm feeling alive and vital, that's when I'm closest to my Creator. That's when I feel closest to God and that's when I feel most alive. That's when I feel most in service. And sometimes it's when I'm in service of helping other people and sometimes it's when I'm in play and sometimes it's when I'm creating. So I want to get really clear. And the only way to get clear on what I want to be doing is for me to take some action. So what I'm doing, if I haven't gotten you completely confused yet talking about clarity, how funny is I am going to have space while also taking action on new curiosities to kind of see if that's going to open up some creative energy for me. And I'm also going to create some spaces where I can process with other people. So I'm going to give myself a little space because when I'm too overwhelmed, nothing comes through and I get really upset.

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So I know the things that I need to get clear are space, connection with other people and also a bit of action. So I'm gonna be taking action on the things that I believe will bring me joy and I'm going to be connecting with people who are doing some of the things that I want to be doing and also just connecting with good friends that I can have a place to just feel like me and talk about any and every idea that I want to or anything that's coming up and also just space for nothing. So these are my action steps to clarity. So sometimes for some people, if you're in that place of just like space and you've been doing the same thing, you might need a lot more action than me. And from someone who has been taking a lot of action and is overwhelmed and you're an idea machine and you want to jump on everything, you might need a little more space, you might need some more time for journaling, you might need some more time for writing. You Might need some more time just for play. So if this sounds overwhelming, that's okay. Like, sit with it. Go on a walk. Let your intuition guide you a little bit. And the first thing is you can ask, what do I need more of right now to feel a little more grounded or a little less scattered, because chaos is just lack of clarity, is just too many things going on at once and too many thoughts going on at once. Right? So what do you need more of? Or what do you need less of? So write this down. What do you need more of to feel more clear? And what do you need less of to feel more clear? And I think that that's going to be your first step, is just either getting more of a thing or less of a thing. And also take those columns one at a time. So whichever one is calling to you more, either the more of or less of. Right? Do the thing that's calling to you more or is and is also the path of least resistance, like, the easiest one to add right now, especially if you're overwhelmed. Because clarity is like that guiding light. And I'm not saying that you will ever be 100% clear. I don't even know if that's possible. Please let me know if it is, because even when I'm super clear, there's areas of my life that are murky, Right? So this is in an area of your life that you'll always be working on is clarity. But if there's a particular area, such as business or relationships or health and fitness or whatever that is, or your spirituality, like, take it one column at a time and ask what you need for more clarity. And clarity is going to be such a powerful, moving force for you. Like, it is going to move you forward. It's not just gonna move you. It's gonna pull you once you get clear. So I hope that this was helpful. I always like to give little exercises because writing has been so incredibly healing for me. And also just clearing like, it's. It's crazy to go back and read what I've written. And I'm like, I wrote that. That's insane. Like, go back and write. And it's. It's really nuts to be like, wow, that's really how I feel. That's interesting that that just came through. Don't judge your writing. So, you guys, I hope that this was helpful with a little bit of clarity for you. And until next time, everybody, earn your happy. Bye. Bye. Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaves leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment. Tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again guys. Bye Bye.