324: Questions That Will Change Your Life

So while I know I should be doing more during the day, it's also a should. So I also have to question the word should I really be doing it? Or is this an old attachment to an old identity? So this is like a layered question for me. Welcome to the Earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves, get ready to earn, own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Welcome back to the Earn your happy podcast. And it's time for another quickie because there's always time to fit in inspiration and I am really getting excited for the Bliss Project event. If you don't have your tickets yet, I'm telling you for real, I'm not sure, but this might be the last couple weeks where there are tickets left. We are only a month out and I'm pretty sure there's like 50 or 60 tickets left, so you might want to go and grab those because they tend to go really quickly as it gets closer. So you guys go to theblissproject.info if you have not heard about it yet or you're new to the podcast. It is my annual three day event where you are going to connect with some of the most amazing women, have some of the most incredible experiences. And this year I'm bringing so many awesome speakers, musicians, dancers. Oh my gosh, it's going to be off the charts. And I have so many surprises. I know I tell you every year I have surprises and they are definitely surprising. But this year might be the biggest surprise for sure. Little scared of it and in the best way. In the best way. So I hope to see you there. Go to theblissproject.info and today I was what I often do around this podcast. Sometimes I have weeks when I do quickies where I'm like, that's what I'm talking about. I know exactly what I'm going to say and it really comes to me really quickly. But this week I could not. It's like I was really searching for the exact topic and it was not coming through for me. So then what I start doing is googling different ideas and different thoughts and different quotes. And I was looking up most frequently asked questions. I just wrote down most frequently asked questions that people ask about life. I wanted to know. And instead what came up was this amazing article, you guys, and it's written by Jason Nazar and it's on Forbes, and it's called 35 questions that will change your life. And what I wanted to do today is I'm going to tell you some of these questions because they have changed my life, and I'm going to answer some of them right along with you. So I actually have not thought of my answers yet whatsoever. I haven't looked at all of the questions. I've looked at probably the first 15 and love them. And I'm a bit afraid. Afraid of them as well. And that's why they will change your life. So if you want all of them, I highly suggest you go and look this up and answer them. Sit down and answer them and be really, really honest with them. Because questions are the only way that we can actually uncover where we're at. And if we don't know exactly where we're at and what we're actually thinking and what's actually blocking us and what our real fears are, we can't ever work through them. So a lot of times that's what happens is because we are not being truthful with ourselves, we're never able to get to our truth because you have to have a solid foundation of knowing your truth and your actual answers first and why you're afraid or where it came from. So I actually ask a few of these questions on the podcast to people, and I love them. So the very first one, and you guys, there's 35 questions, so definitely go look this up. I can put the link to it in the show notes as well. And the very first question is, what are you pretending not to know? Oh my. That's a really. You know, when I ask it, I'm always like, ooh, this is gonna be a good answer. But when you're asking yourself this question, it can be a scary place to go. So for me, right off the top of my head, what I'm pretending not to know is that something in my life really has to shift right now. I'm feeling a major internal change as far as just what I need to do with my day to day. I'm not enjoying myself enough yet. I do enjoy myself and I love what I do. But something with my Actual daily tasks or my actual daily work needs to shift. So I'm not sure if that is going to be incorporating something that I enjoy more like. More like dance classes or if this is making sure that I have a standing date with a friend for a walk or a lunch or something like that. But it's definitely along the lines of adding more connection time, not over business. So I've become kind of a master of, you know, meeting and networking and masterminding with people for business. But I'm finding there's a bit of a soul gap there. Even with my women's mastermind that I do every other week, which is so soul filling, I am really finding that I'm a person who's gonna need more connection time every single week. Like actual lunch or, you know, something fun where my soul really gets to play. Because when I don't play, I start to agitated and bored. And boredom for me is a sign that something has got to change. So that's what I'm pretending not to know is that. Is that I'm just fine because my life rocks. Like it really does. So this is. This is the trap is I've got a really great life. I've now set up my life so that I thoroughly like, am enjoying it. But at the same time, there's always room. No matter what, there should be room. We should be asking this question all of the time. There's always, always room for improvement. Let's see, what's the next question? I'm afra. I'm afraid to look at these.

Okay.

Why don't you do the things you know you should be doing? This is the next question. Why don't you do the things you know you should be doing? This is an easy answer for me, is because I have a really short attention span and it feels really painful to focus for long periods of time. So while I know I should be doing more during the day, it's also a shoulder. So I also have to question the word should I really be doing it? Or is this an old attachment to an old identity? So this is like a layered question for me. But there are some things that I know that I really want to be doing. So let's go back to question one. This actually takes me back to question one. Why am I not doing those things that actually make me happy? Well, I don't have them planned in because they're not planned in. Wow. I just got my answer to question two. Okay. I hope that you're following along with me and you're Seeing the thought process of being possibly how you could be putting yourself in situations where you don't take the action that you need to take either. So I'm not doing what I should be doing or what I want to be doing because they are not planned in. And I haven't given myself the space recently to sit down and really ask myself what I want to try. And I think that I'm supposed to know what that fun thing is that I should be doing when I really truly know deep in my soul that I just need to start trying things to see if I like them again and seeing what I should put into my schedule every week. So I need to make some time to try new things every week there. All right, so let's go to the next question. What don't you know that you don't know? This is an interesting question. Let me see if I even understand this. What don't you know that you don't know? Hmm. I think this is always a good question around for me. I don't know what people's real perception of me is, and there's a part of me that is really okay with that. But also, this is such a good question. I hope you guys are pondering with me. I think it's good, good to focus on how you want to make other people feel and also know that you can't control others perceptions. So I try not to get too consumed in actually wanting to know what that is. But I don't think I actually know how people perceive me. And my hope is that I'm always just trying to make people feel good. That's a tough question, you guys. I would love to know what your answer to that is like. Shoot me an insta story. What don't you know that you don't know? Oh, interesting. All right, next one. So I'm kind of randomly picking. If you achieved all of your life's goals, how would you feel and how can you feel that along the way? Okay, this is such a powerful question. So if you achieved all of your life's goals, how would you feel? And how can you feel that along the way? So how can you make sure that you're feeling the way that you think your life's goals are going to make you feel along the journey? And this is what I talk about all the time on the podcast. So I'm obsessed that they're asking this question and you need to sit down and write the answer to this. Because if I achieved all of my life's goals, how would I Feel. Well, I mean, yes, it would be really freaking amazing and awesome. But at the same time, if you add up all of your life's goals, think of that. To really achieve something that's a huge milestone can take a year to five years, to sometimes 10 years. So if you add that up through a lifespan, what if you're only doing, you know, 20 major goals in your life or 30 major goals, or maybe less? So does that mean that you are only enjoying, you know, 20 days or 30 days? And for all of you who have accomplished really huge milestones, we know that it kind of doesn't last that long. So you have to make sure that you are incorporating this feeling of connection, of fulfillment, of giving back, of living in your purpose, of making people feel good, of living in your gifts and making sure that you apply that every single day somehow. Because we know that if there is only 20, 30, 40, maybe some of us get really lucky and do more than that, then that's not a whole lot of days out of our lifespan. So making sure you're putting together really great days in between and knowing that those are massive bonuses and the reason that they're there, those big goals, is so that you can enjoy becoming the purpose, the person along the way who could achieve those. The goal is just something to shoot for. It's literally just something to make sure that you're aiming for. And I really believe a goal is just a way to start planning your timeline. That's it. Like, okay, I want to be this person by this time. Okay, I want to be able to do these things by this time. And you need a goal to do that. So I do think that deadlines are very important, because what a deadline does for me is it calls for forward. My higher self. And if I don't have one, guess what. My higher self is not showing up. Like, my. My higher self, if I don't have a deadline, is, like, literally eating, basically, Cheetos and champagne on the couch because my higher self also enjoys those things. I don't know. I'm. I'm literally just giving you a visual here. I don't even think I like Cheetos. Let's give that something else. Oh, I'm. My higher self is definitely eating rosemary crackers with the big, like, salt. Sea salt chunks on it and the rosemary all over it. And champagne for sure. Yeah. Until she gets a deadline. Then she's. She's acting. She's off her keister. Okay, let's see what. Next question. What did I learn today? Who did I love what made me laugh. Oh my God, I love this one. Okay, the whole point of these questions is that you do them along with me or you go to this list and you go look them up. What did I learn today? Who did I love and what made me laugh? What did I learn today?

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I learned that people are people and that you can't base your happiness on anyone else. Anyone else's perceptions, anyone else's thoughts. You truly have to. If you believe in love, then you have to really ask yourself if you believe all things should be based in love and that love really does cure all. You have to ask yourself if you're coming from a place of love no matter what you are doing. And what would love do? What would love do? So if love had a voice and there were some really hard things going on in your life or in other people's lives, what would love do? That's what I'm learning today. I did not learn it. It's a learned journey all along the way. Who did I love? I loved. Oh my God. I loved so many people. I loved my Soul Cycle instructor today. I loved my friend Mel Wells today because we did Soul Cycle together with my amazing Soul Cycle instructor, Gina. I loved the cla. Like everyone in the class was amazing. I loved my husband so much today because he was supportive. I loved my team today. What made me laugh? I will say who did I love? Is such a good question by the way. Cause it really makes you feel so grateful. So really think of that one while you're driving, walking, whatever you're doing right now. Or send some love to someone if you haven't yet felt love towards someone for the day. What made me laugh today? Well, my assistant Evans and I recorded a podcast for Questionably awesome, which is our Q and A day and that had me dying. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I never know what we're gonna talk about and it makes me laugh every single time. Cause it's a very free podcast where I don't worry about if it's truly giving massive value, but I think that the value is in the fun and the freeness and making sure that everyone who listens to the podcast understands that there's so many different sides to people, that you can be free to just be you. And that can be valuable as well. So, you guys, there's a list of questions here, but I hope that these have given you a lot of perspective just on some questions that can help you live the life that you want even more. And I'm so grateful for you guys. If you love this podcast, whether it's this episode or one that's really impacted you for an interview that I did with somebody, I would love if you would text it, if you would share it with someone, if you would share it on your insta stories, because truly, that is the only way that the podcast gets out. And I get to have amazing guests for you on this podcast. So I'm always grateful for you because you guys are the heart and the soul of it. You're the only thing that keeps it going. You're literally, the car's not going anywhere if I don't put the gasoline in. So that is you. And I'm beyond grateful. So you guys have the most amazing day. And until next time, earn your happy. Bye, everyone. Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment. Tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear more of. It was would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again, guys. Bye Bye.