325: Activate Your Powerful Alter Ego with Todd Herman

Doing something that's really hard for you and trying to beat it with willpower or just grit rarely actually wins. However, one thing that truly we as human beings are gifted with over anything else on this planet is our creative imagination. That is one of the things that really does make us unique.

Welcome to the Earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love of junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn, own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me?

Here we go.

Thank you everyone for tuning in to another episode of the podcast and I hope that this is finding you in a week that you are choosing to create and make amazing. And before we get started, go to.

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Yes. I'm asking you to go to the blissproject.info if you haven't checked it out yet, if you have and you're already coming, then this should get you even more excited because this is the year that is going to elevate and rock your world. If you've already been in the past, I'm telling you, get ready, it's going to the next level. And if you have not been there yet and you are ready for a shift in your life and you're ready to meet your like minded tribe and you're also just ready to have some fun, let go of some stuff, go home with an amazing group of friends and really learn how to shift your whole life in one weekend. Yeah, that might be a big claim, but it's gonna happen. So if you choose it, it's all there for you.

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Really, really fast you guys.

So go to the Bliss Project.info and I'm really excited about today's episode because this is a human being that I have been following for quite some time. I discovered him on MarieTV so Marie Forleo show and I remember that he was talking about five secrets to change your life. And it was all about the biology of change. And he had so much wisdom that I literally watched this video over and over and over because I was determined to be able to understand it so well that I could teach it, because it was changing my life. So today on the podcast, I have this incredible human being. And we have Todd Herman with us today, and he has come out with a new book called the alter ego effect. And Todd Herman is a toughness and performance coach to professional and Olympic athletes. He's a leadership and performance advisor to billionaires and hundreds of entrepreneurs. He's also the creator of the 90 day year, which is a business achievement achievement program designed for business owners to master the art of execution. And this awesome human truly is a performance expert. And that's what we're going to talk all about today. It's really about learning how to activate your heroic self. And you're going to learn all about the different drivers that we are truly made up of. And not just that. You might even get to come up with your own alter ego that you get to create and name and call on. I loved this episode because so much of what I've done to create any sort of success in my life was really confirmed today. And not only that, I really felt like I had the tools to take it to the next level. So I know you're going to love this. Make sure that you tune in until the end. And let's get started.

Todd, I'm so excited to have you on the podcast. Thank you so much for coming on today.

I don't know how I got so lucky to actually get the invite, so thank you for having me.

Okay, well, that's amazing and so nice of you to say, but I'll tell you that you have literally. Okay, so I was like Marie Forleo obsessed for many years. Still am. And I found you on the video. What was it? The five secrets to change your life.

Yes.

And at that time, I was just absolutely in love with learning about the psychology and physiology and biology behind change. For me, it was like I knew my journey had so much to do with that, so I love being able to teach it. So I watched that video so many times to be able to describe it to people, like, teach it to people. So thank you for that. You made me, like, you made me sound so much smarter. So it was borrowed knowledge and now it's mine, though.

Exactly. Exactly. Well, thank God Marie was such a good coach because she made me look good on that video, too.

Amazing. So I'm super excited to have you here because I was just going through your book and I literally cannot wait to actually have the physical copy in my hands. And not to jump right into your book, but. Oh my God, I'm really, really thrilled to talk about this topic which the title of your book. Would you share what it is?

Yeah, it's called the Alter ego. The power of secret identities to transform your life.

Okay, so I know that this is like literally one of my biggest secrets, but I need to learn all about now. Yeah, like what the science is behind it. But before you do that, would you share just a little bit about yourself?

Well, I live here in New York City now, but I did not start in a place where there was eight and a half million people in one spot. I grew up on a farm and ranch in western Canada outside of a small city called Medicine hat. You know, 8,000 acres or 10,000 acres, whatever it was. When I grew up, I was in the middle of nowhere, truly. I had this kind of knack for sports and I ended up getting some football scholarship and I was a national ranked badminton player. So my kind of history was always around sport. And I had some unfortunate stuff happen to me at a very young age where I kind of started get into like mental toughness stuff, really, actually just survival, honestly, just to keep myself alive and without going too deep into it. Basically, you know, I was sexually assaulted at a church camp when I was, when I was 12. And I started getting into again, like just trying to master my own mental game. And it actually really served me then playing sports. And then when I got done playing, I started, you know, volunteering at a high school, coaching some kids. And I would kind of share with them what my strategies were. And it always helped me get into the zone and flow state. And these kids started getting some great results. And over time I started getting asked to speak. And again, this wasn't a business. And then it evolved into one. And I ended up starting a peak performance and sports science training business, working with athletes on the mental game. Started working with pro athletes, Olympic athletes a few years later. And then, you know, anytime you're working with the elite of sport, you got a lot of achievers in business that are like, well, hey, I got to perform at a high level too. So I started building out training programs in the corporate and small business world. And yeah, kind of long story short, it's taken me all over the globe, worked with tens of thousands of people. But one of my kind of core secrets and strategies was Using alter egos with athletes. Because once I started working with more and more kind of better quality athletes, there was this consistent theme that started showing up and it was that they would say things like, I step on the field as a different self or I use a character or Persona or I take a different version out there. And a lot of times they didn't say alter ego, but that was. They were all dancing around it. And I was like, oh, that's really cool. Because I did the exact same thing when I played football. And then when I started my business, I felt like, you know, I was 21 when I started and I looked like I was probably 12. And I was so insecure about how young I looked that it was really stopping me from going out and doing the things that I wanted to go and do, even though I knew I was good at it, because I already displayed that I was getting these young athletes a great result. But I wouldn't, you know, I wouldn't book the talk or I wouldn't reach out to people and I just wrapped up in my own head and I was like, wait a second, I use this kind of alter ego thing in sport. Why can't I? This is just a different playing field for me. And so I went out and this was long before wearing glasses was cool. So 1997, to take you back. And I went to a LensCrafters in west Edmonton mall where I was living at the time. And I got a non prescription pair of glasses to step into my Superman version of myself in business. And I was kind of. It was kind of like the reverse of Clark Kent. He would put them on to become Clark Kent and I would put them on to be this super version of myself in business. And that's what really got me started, got me out of my own way, allowed me to circumvent all that other kind of crap that I was trying to narrate in my own head that who I was and just get past myself just to kind of wrap it up. Then in sport, I just saw that these other athletes were doing it too. And so I started to create the process and the system for doing it for other people. You know, 15 years later, I finally wrote the book.

Okay, so many things. And number one, thank you so much for sharing that. I know there's so many people especially. It's so powerful coming from a male who's willing to share that. Number two, I loved your dedication in your book for all the people who grew up in the middle of nowhere, because I grew up in the middle of nowhere. So I'm like, oh, that's why I like him. I love the alter ego idea. I think for so many people, whether you grew up in a small town or a big city, whatever it is, especially I think people from smaller towns, when we, when we think that we want to become something or make it like you, it can really mess with you thinking like you don't have the skills coming from a smaller town or that you're not the type of person or you don't have the background and you can feel really consumed, like almost like it's eating you alive, like you're not going to make it in that, in that arena. So you do need to step into something. So for you, what it sounds like this was your own personal journey of stepping into your own alter ego. So can you kind of share that? What really started happening once you finally stepped in?

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This in the book that the importance of like if I was going to step into this character. So when I played football I had my alter egos. When I was it was kind of a combination of many coming together and I'm a huge Native American buff. Growing up, where I grew up, I was lucky because it was actually kind of a very famous part of Canada when, when Sitting Bull after the the battle at Little Bighorn, when he fled across the United States border into Canada, his tribe settled in in the area that our farm and ranch is. And so anyways I grew up around discovering fire rocks and kind of digging around and trying to find old arrowheads and stuff. I was just fascinated with that culture. But what I was fascinated with was when when they go have a warring party, when they would dance around the fire, what they were doing was it was five or six of them coming together to try to channel, to become one. And it was all about unity and just creating that real power of a force of many going out. And there's actually someone I'm going to share with everybody later that has used it as well in the same way that everybody knows and might be surprised with. But so I love that idea. And so I wanted to create this tribe in my head to go onto the football field and play way bigger than I was. I was a scrawny kid, I was fast, but I. It was impossible for me. I could eat everything in the world and I just couldn't put on any weight. But I went out there and I played way bigger than myself because in my head I had Walter Payton, who was, you know, one of the greatest running backs of all time, and I had Ronnie Lott because I played defense as well, and he was an amazing safety for the San Francisco 49ers. And then this tribe of Native Americans. And I always had this mental movie theater in my head. And I used it, and I used it as an escape when I was going through a lot of tough times to just imagine a different version of myself. And it served me then because that visualization skill set is really a powerful skill to develop. And a lot of people actually dishonor others by just saying, oh, you need to visualize it. Visualization is actually very difficult and challenging for people to do. So if any of the people are listening, have heard that and you've tried to visualize, it's a skill that you have to develop. And so I had developed it quite well. And I had this mental movie theater and I would step into it and I would imagine Walter and Ronnie Lott and this tribe coming towards me. And I used trading cards. I had three from Walter Payton, I had two from Ronnie Lott, and I would put one of Walter Payton's in my helmet. I'd put two of Ronnie Lott's, one under each shoulder pad, and I'd take the last two of Walter Payton's and I'd put them inside of my thigh pads in my football equipment so I could run like him, I could hit like Ronnie Lott, and I could think like Walter on the field. But I would imagine Walter being the one who handed me the cards and said, okay, here you go. Activate all of us on that field, but don't for one second dishonor who we are, how we played, and how we showed up by not being us the entire time. It's super important that if you do embody something like this, you really engage with it, because just the way that the mind works is your behavior will always default through whatever your most resonant origin story is that you're acting through And I wanted to create an origin story for my alter egos that was way more powerful than that insecure version of myself was going to show up like. And just that idea of like Walter handing me those cards, someone that I was just was my hero and saying that to me, I was like, well, there's not a chance in hell I'm not going to go out there and dishonor you guys. I'm going to show up as my best version of myself. And it allowed me to take on traits and characteristics that really did allow me to play my best. And then when I got into now sort of fast forward into the business space when I would, I would, I would imagine all of my kind of the heroic qualities of those people that I wanted to embody living inside of my glasses. And the moment that those glasses went, you know, past that kind of temple area, it was like flicking on a switch. And then I was going to be transferring from this insecure, inarticulate and non indecisive person into someone who was confident, decisive and articulate. The switch was getting flicked. And I wasn't going to dishonor Joseph Campbell, who wrote the Hero's Journey, who is a total hero of mine, Abraham Lincoln, who I just wanted to embody that level of character and integrity. When faced with all of the insurmountable odds of him getting something like equal rights for everyone passed and stuff, that's what I was flicking on. And I was embodying truly those people. And if I ever caught myself being insecure or second guessing myself because my alter ego's name was Richard in business, which is actually my first name. And so anytime Richard would start to hear or embody the thoughts of Todd, those glasses had to come off. Because Richard would never think that way. He wouldn't be concerned about how old he was or get caught up of what other people were going to be thinking of him when he was on stage. And I was lucky. I had Jim Rohn as a mentor at a young age. And Jim was like, Todd, if you're up there and you're offering me value, I'll never question how old you are, because you're giving me value. So that's kind of a little bit of that kind of process that I went through. And I talk about it in the book and how others do it as well.

Oh my gosh.

Okay. So many things here. I'm like, you talked about activating it, you talked about changing your default, and it sounds to me like you used an anchor. The glasses are anchoring. So for people who are thinking, okay, I want to start doing this, I want to start making that change. Because I'll tell you the number one thing I hear from people is that disconnect between who they are now and who they can see themselves as. And that huge bridge of imposter syndrome in the middle, crossing that bridge. And I try to explain to people, like, even right now, like, I can be sitting in my home and I can still feel like an imposter in this life that I've built all around me. And it's kind of like you have to turn it on and anchor it. So can you actually speak a little bit more if people are like, okay, well how is that actually happening though? Just a little bit more into even creating an anchor for yourself or what you were doing there with your glasses?

Yeah, well, I mean, a. I practiced it, right? Like I would stand in front of a mirror and actually, in the end, I tell people actually not to stand in front of a mirror and do it because I'd much rather people get engaged with the feeling sensation and then just seeing themselves put something on, whatever it might be. But there's a couple of things, though that you said I want to talk about first before. Can I unpack this one? You really said it well, where it's this life that you have and the life that you want and that, that bridge that people need to walk across. Many people feel like there is no bridge there. How can I even get there? And that's actually one of the super powerful things about using an alter ego or a secret identity is because for me, when I'm getting called for coming out and helping someone, it's typically because they need help right now when it comes to sport. Like they have the US Open starting on Saturday and I'm getting called on a Wednesday and all those other strategies that you're going to use of people long term, like, I mean, meditation. I mean, I was talking about meditation with people in 1997, when yoga wasn't even cool in 1997. And so, you know, but you know, getting someone to start meditating on a Wednesday, that's not going to deliver the results right away. That's a long term thing. And so I was getting. I'm paid to make quick changes with people. And the alter ego strategy was always my core one that I would go to. And it's because there's something powerful that happens psychologically when it comes to change and making change happen. What most people have been teaching for the longest time is the Idea that, you know, if you need to change, hey, well, change is hard. And of course, change is hard, but you've got this iron will that's inside of you that can make it happen. And that's true. We do have an iron will. It's amazing what the human spirit can withstand and go through. However, meeting force with force, Change is a force, especially if it's a massively resistant force for you, like doing something that's really hard for you and trying to beat it with willpower or just grit rarely actually wins. However, tapping into the one thing that truly we as human beings are gifted with over anything else on this planet is our creative imagination. That is one of the things that really does make us unique. And so what an alter ego does is it's tapping into that real superpower that we do have, which can create what I call suspended disbelief. The moment that you actually start embodying the characteristics of Oprah or Laurie or whoever that other. Whoever that alter ego or secret identity might be, you are circumventing your own narrative in your own story. Because we all play the whole grass is greener on the other side, right? Well, Lori's life is easier and she doesn't have to struggle with the same things I am. So that's who I'm going to go and step into. And now I can more gracefully navigate these tasks or goals or things that I'm trying to chase down. It's amazing what I've seen happen with people when they really step into it. And so this idea of that where you are and where you want to get to and that bridge and that gap that's there, the way to think about it is that that alter ego is like a trusted friend, which is actually what Cicero, who was the first person to ever mention the term alter ego back in 44 BC, said he's like, the alter ego is the other I or a trusted friend. And if you imagine that the alter ego is standing on the other side of where you want to go, that extraordinary world is what I call it inside the book, and is now going to pull you there, help you get you past some of that resistance so that you don't need to fight it so hard. And just to think of it, I mean, that's how I thought about it. And it. And it helped me. I mean, again, it took me a long time to get past the demons that I was, you know, battling, but I didn't want to quit on what my goals and my dreams were. Therapy, you know, definitely helped in the end and everything. But I didn't want to. I didn't want to wait and sit on the sidelines of life before something shifted and changed.

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So. So to. So to help others kind of tap into this. And, you know, we talk about the process in the book, and more than that, though, I talk about, you know, the science behind this and. And why and other people that have used it. But there's a principle to kind of get to the whole. You were talking about the glasses. And again, glasses are just one. One tool that we use. There is a psychological principle called enclosed cognition. Okay. And I don't know, have you gotten to the point in the book where I talk about that yet, Laura?

I don't think so.

Okay, so you're gonna love this. So in clothed cognitive, because, I mean, I know how much you love nerding out on the psychology of this stuff. Clothed cognition is this principle in our lives where we as human beings, we ascribe meaning to things. And what happens is whatever something means, whatever narrative we have around that thing, and if we put it on, we actually start to act through whatever that thing is that we put on. And just to give you an example, so there was a great study that was done at the Kellogg School of Management, and what they did was they brought in a bunch of students into a room, and have you ever seen one of those sort of mind puzzles where you've got the word of A color. But the color that it's in is different than the word. Where it's like, the word is green, but it's pink. It's colored in pink. And then there's like, the next one is, like blue, but it's actually colored in yellow. And there's. It's typically like a five by five grid of five words going across and five down. And so 25 total boxes with the word of a color, and then it being colored differently. And the challenge is to say the color of the word.

So.

Because it screws you up, because you're looking at the color yellow, but the word is green. And you got to try to get your way through as quickly as you can. So anyways, they bring these students into this room, and they get them to do the test, and they record all the results, and then they leave. And then the next group they bring in is a group, and they hand them a white coat. And when they hand them the white coat, they tell them that it's a painter's coat. And so they put on the painter's coat, and they do the same test. And then so they record all those stats, and then they bring in another group, and the next group, they hand them the exact same white coat, except this time they tell them that it's a lab coat or a doctor's coat. And then they record those results. Well, when you take a look at the people who were wearing the painter's coat versus just regular street clothes, do you think that there was any difference in the results? And again, what they were testing for was focus and concentration, the amount of which is basically tracked by how many mistakes that they're making. And then they were tracking how long it took them to do it. So what do you think? What result would be different between the painter's coat people and just the regular street clothes?

I feel like if I was thinking through the lens of a painter, that I would be looking for color. Like, I would see color first, so I would think it would be better.

Okay. So the reality is nothing changed. It was the same results. And then when you took a look at the stats from people who were told that it was a lab coat, now again, it's the exact same white coat right. As the painter's coat. They were just told it's a lab coat or a doctor's coat. Those people did it in half the time. Oh, wow. And they did it. And they made exactly 52%. I believe it was less mistakes with it. Oh, my gosh. And that's because when you take a look at. When someone hands you and put. You put on a lab coat, you're enclothing yourself in the cognitive state of someone who's focused, concentrate, who's detail orientated, right? So now your entire behavior has changed. Like, you have changed. And that's the magical part of what human beings can do, is we act through these things all the time. But what's funny about this is then they did another. Another test with them, and it was a creative test. Well, what do you think happened when they were told that it was. They had a painter's coat on, right? They expressed more creativity. They were better at this test than the people who were wearing the lab coat. They had the exact same results as the people who were wearing the plain clothes. So why this matters is every single person that's listening has something in their life that when they put it on, could comfort them, is something that maybe it was handed down by their grandmother and maybe they have some great story about who their grandmother was or whatever. I mean, I've got a Nana and a grandmother who, you know, both of them definitely. There's a huge resonant emotion for me with who they were. In fact, like my Nana, which was my mom's mom, I always felt like she was the only one who got me. My papa, her husband, I always, like, butted heads with him. And then as I grew older, I realized, oh, we were the exact same person. And that's why Nana could actually deal with me with more grace than other people could. But anyway, what I was trying to get to was that if you do have something that's like that, where it doesn't clothe a lot of meaning, what if you started using that as a way of activating the superhero characteristics or traits of the person that you got them from? Because now you're going to start to enclose yourself in the cognitive traits of that person. And so for me, that's why wearing those glasses, I created as much meaning as I possibly could so that I could enclose myself in. In the traits that I truly did want to embody.

This is so powerful because I literally. I love that you have a book on this, because I talk about this all the time, especially at my events where I get, you know, there's like 500 women in a room who all want to do something with their life. And I think that some of the biggest shifts are in the smallest things and that we overlook. And I always tell them, like, I could never be on the stage if I just Woke up and didn't have all of these tricks in my pocket. And the tricks are exactly what you're saying. Like, I even switched, like, three years into doing this event to changing how I dressed, because I was like, wow, I am not embodying the character who would show up super powerfully in this space. And I was feeling it. It was affecting me. So I started dressing in what I pictured as this really, like, powerfully feminine person would dress. And it completely. I'm not even kidding you. I had so many people say, oh, my God. Not only did it visually affect me, but I could tell that you were affected and you completely changed. So I made it like a ritual when I was getting dressed. Like, this is. It was like a costume. So that's been super, super powerful. It's basically like my version of the glasses, like, changing even how you're dressing. And I'll tell you that the other things that you're talking about too, when I'm prepar for things, I will watch. I'll watch performers. So whether it's a singer or whether it's Beyonce or something like that. And then I will watch comedians, and I will listen to Eminem and I'll watch Oprah, and I'm like, getting ready to embody each characteristic in my mind. So I literally do this all of the time.

Yeah, well, and here's the thing, like I said in the book is, yeah, I'm the first person who's written the book on this, because that was what I kept on hearing in the publishing world when I was going through and having all these meetings. We had. I mean, we had. We had. We had set a record in the publishing space by having 19 publishers wanting this book.

And that is amazing, by the way. I just have to say how amazing that is and so exciting.

And I'm not saying that about, you know, bragging about, you know, for my purposes. I'm just that that is. That is way more. Has less to do with Todd and has way more to do with the power of the idea. And, you know, and it was so funny because I'd be in those conversations and they'd be like, why hasn't this book been written? Like, we know how much? And I said, well, you know, I think it's because it's been danced around, but no one finally codified. And because again, I've worked with people one on one for over 16,000 hours. That's one on one. True. You know, coaching and advising and mentoring people. And so when you work that many hours of People, you now actually get a lot of data and you get to see truly what are those kind of little levers that are being pulled. And this was one of those little levers that was moving big boulders for people. And, you know, and I'm excited because, like I say, like, you had that experience. But the great thing about this is I'm only reminding people of something that all of you already know about. This is built into the human condition. We all did this as kids, naturally. We played with Personas, we played with ideas. We were a nurse or a doctor or a chef or a Wonder Woman or Superman or whoever one day, and it was natural. And then over time, we start to develop this narrative of, oh, well, I've got to grow up, or people tell you to grow up, or what it means to be a quote unquote, adult. And we start to lose that really powerful gift that we have, which is our imagination to create worlds for ourselves that we get to grow into. And this has nothing to do because I know one of the natural objections that comes up from people is, well, isn't this being fake? And I don't want to be inauthentic. And really, authenticity is about you having your real results be a reflection of who you truly are on the inside. Nothing is more frustrating to a person than when you put your head on a pillow at the end of the day and you are like, why didn't I say what I wanted to say to that person? Why didn't I do what I wanted to do? Why didn't I say to my mom when I was leaving, I love you? Like, why do I have those hangups? That's being inauthentic. Because we judge ourselves then on that performance, as opposed to if we're simply leveraging and getting Oprah to help me get on the field as I know I can. That's the most real and authentic you that there is.

I read a quote in your book that I loved and talking about, and you touched on it just a little bit. It was your imagination can build extraordinary worlds and ordinary worlds. You've already been doing this, and here's a reminder that playfulness doesn't stop at eight years of age. It's a pathway handling life with more grace. I love that because ultimately, we're constantly. We're building our future in our imagination. So can you kind of speak to the difference between the extraordinary world and the ordinary world? And what does it take to build that?

Yeah, I will in a second. But you brought up, you know, there's A lot of, you know, different parts of the book. But why did that particular thing resonate with you, though?

Oh, okay. Because I really. I believe we're always building a case and a story at all times. So I'm always looking at what my thoughts are thinking and what I'm feeding. Like, what version of my life do I want to build? Because I truly know that it's always just whatever I want. Like, it's all made up anyway, so I might as well make up a powerful world to live in.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, for me, that was. I mean, that. That part of the book. It's so funny that you picked that out because, you know, the struggles that I had just trying to, you know, move through life myself was. That was my reminder to my. Was that, you know, and it was more of like, you know, I'm not an affirmation person, but it was more of like, if I continue to do this, I'll be able to, you know, conquer all those. And slay all those dragons that I was carrying and, you know, truly get to that place where life was more playful again and graceful. And, you know, being able to use an alter ego to help navigate that stuff allowed me to, you know, circumvent those issues that I, you know, I'd had, you know, bouncing around in my head when I'm talking about the ordinary and extraordinary world is inside of chapter number three. I share kind of the model that explains why this is so powerful. And I wanted to give people a framework when I was writing the book. That kind of took the alter ego effect, or just the idea of alter egos and secret identities even deeper, to show people how deep and resonant this actually is at the core of who we are. And so I talk about how there's. There's many layers for how our identity, how our identity gets shaped. And there's this core part, if you think of it like the Earth's crust being cut open and how sometimes you get to see how the Earth is shaped. And that's kind of how the model is built inside the book. So at our very core is this place of just, like, powerful possibility, where creativity sits, where that imagination sits, or you could say love and gratitude, all those powerful emotions. And then from there, we start to get shaped, our identity starts to get shaped. And the next layer is something called the core driver layer. And core drivers are things like, you know, the country that you live in, that's a core driver, your family, things that are very deep and resonant, things that are Larger than typically ourselves. Our family is bigger than just one person. Our country is bigger than one person. Your religion or your spiritual practice or whatever, your values, which sound like it's an individual thing, but your values are always the very thing that does shape your character and that we can actually a lot of times act through parts of our core drivers that we don't even realize. Like something as simple as. Well, my family has never been an entrepreneur, so why would I be an entrepreneur? So that's a story and a narrative that's getting shaped at a core driver layer. Then beyond that layer, the next layer is our beliefs, our attitudes, things that we've now adopted and learned over time. And, you know, I always challenge people like a belief is your belief, but it's not a truth. Right? Because in order for something to be a truth, it has to be true for me and true for you. That's a truth, right? You and I can both be walking on the side sidewalk and we're both walking on concrete. And I'm like, well, that's a truth. That is concrete. But, you know, someone that says all people from Ohio are terrible with money, well, that's not true. Oh, wait a second. Listen, I don't want hate mail from people from ohi.

We love Ohio. People with money.

With money. Oh, my God, that's gold.

That's your quote too, by the way.

On the quote that's going to be on the social media. Thank you very much for that. You're welcome. Our beliefs and our attitudes get shaped about who and what we are or the world, what we believe about the world and ourselves. And then the next layer is where it's the layer of action. And that's where our behaviors are, the skills that we've developed, our knowledge, our belief layer can doubt our skills, doubt our knowledge. That's where imposter syndrome starts to go in, where we, you know, dismiss our wins, dismiss the achievements that we've had in life, and worry that we're going to be found out, quote, unquote. And then the final layer is the layer of like, circumstance, situation. It's our field of play. It's, you know, hey, I can speak really well, but I can't speak in front of an audience of a thousand. Well, now that's a circumstance. And I'm gonna. I wanna. That's a, that's a belief that someone has about that circumstance. Anyway, in that, in that entire model, I talk about how there's an ordinary world that's. That gets created in it, and there's an extraordinary world that gets created in it. And an ordinary world that people are experiencing right now is a world where you keep on getting trapped by the circumstances around you, by the beliefs, by not uncovering and sort of peeling back the onion on, you know, are those things that I'm acting through at a core driver layer. And I'm in the book. I try to really unpack it for people so they can really get clarity about themselves and how they're. How it's truly shaping how they're showing up so that we can remove it far more quickly. And so the ordinary world is just. It gives a sensation that because it's ordinary, because I'm not showing up like I know that I can, or I'm not pursuing the things that I really want to. I'm not. I haven't started that business. I haven't started that creative practice of, you know, painting or writing, or I haven't started that practice of deepening a relationship with my significant other because I want them to start it first, even though I know at my core that's not the right way to do it. Right. There's this. There's this massive wisdom that we have at our core that when we tap into it, we actually. And we start acting through it, we unlock a heroic self. And that heroic self starts to create an extraordinary world. Not because that world is easier. The same things happen to people who are living in an extraordinary world, but they stay really far more connected to who and what they want to show up on the field of play, of life. And they're acting through a lot more powerful intention. And it's no longer shaped by me trying to impress other people. It's me knowing who I am and what I want. And I'm going to play this life in this game through those rules, my rules, and show up. And then what I say to people is, it might be one thing to know that, and maybe that releases that heroic self. But for other people, they still have that tinge of self doubt. And that's where an alter ego or secret identity or playing with a Persona can help draw out those personality traits and skills that you want.

So I know that I can definitely trace mine. I think this is probably everyone too. But going back to the core driver, the family, the values, the environment, those can feel like you said beliefs, but those can feel like truths sometimes to break through. So separating when you have the. I know there's a lot of people who are still in the environment that reflects back to them what feels like a belief so what would you say to people who are like, oh man, this is a deep rooted. Like this is so deep. Let's say maybe it's religion, let's say it's family. So it's like you're gonna either go through some pain or you're not even sure if it's truth for you. Even though deep down you do know what are the steps in like getting to the real deep root and being able to work through it. If you feel you're imprisoned by a belief of maybe your family struggles with money, let's say that.

Yeah, well, so one thing is just knowing that the human spirit has such a phenomenal capacity to withstand struggle and trauma. And I'm not saying that there's going to be people that not everyone has to go through deep trauma, but just know that there is that you. But the fact that you're even listening to this podcast shows that there is an extraordinarily deep and resonant toughness and strength to you. And there is literally nothing on the horizon that could beat that. As someone who has gone through a lot, and that's probably in some ways what made me really good with the people that I've worked with, is that I've got extraordinarily high level of empathy and I will never spew a bunch of self help crap that isn't based in, you know, truth, because I, I think that's a responsibility that everyone should have is, you know, to base things in something beyond just provocation or something like that. But is that, is that. Just know that. And that alone can help a lot of people. And, but when you're in it, that can feel tough to do. But the fact that you're still breathing shows that you've got an amazing fortitude. But, but more than that, here's one thing I want to make very clear to people is I think one thing that the personal development and the self help space has done a disservice with. And it's no one's fault. I don't think it's the name itself, Self help, personal development. If you want to lead a life where you are the one who gets to stand at the top of the mountain and say, I conquered this with no one around you, that is an empty existence. You were doing it way harder than you ever need to do. And so knowing this, what I would then encourage, how you move through this stuff, is with the help of as many allies as you can get, as many trusted allies as you can get. I'm constantly hunting for even better quality people that I can get myself around. Not because I think the people that I'm with are not quality. It's just that it's only going to make me that much more valuable to the people that I like to serve or to my own family. I've got three little kids, and I want to be as valuable to them as I possibly can. But, you know, as someone who's. And you've gone through this as someone who's going through the, you know, the early. The final stage of, you know, launching a book out into the world. You cannot launch a book out into the world and make it a splash without the help of a lot of superhero friends to show up for you, a lot of allies. And it's such a great metaphor for every other great achievement that we're all trying to go through, is trying to do something on your own is just a fantastic recipe for depression, isolation, and loneliness. And so the more that you share where you want to go with other people that, you know are also people who like to strive to do big things as well, man, the more you're giving yourself an opportunity for just some sort of miracle to show up for you, some amazing opportunity that you couldn't have tried to, you know, sketch out or, you know, put down on a task list. Because someone opens up and they're like, oh, I know that person. Let me open up the door for you.

Amen.

Yeah. And so it's not the answer that. Because many people are like, okay, well, because everyone wants to go to, well, the grit and the wheel power. And I'm saying no. Like, as someone who has learned the hard way, sometimes it's that it was so silly of me. And when I take a look at those years where I didn't grow in business or self as much as other years, it was, I isolated myself. I did not share with people where I was trying to go. I didn't share with people the thing I was struggling with. Because good human beings, which is, by the way, despite what it feels like it is in the media, is by far and away the vast majority of human beings on this planet. They love to help other people. I want to leverage that. And it's so funny, right? Because when you're on a diet, the chances of you breaking your own diet are extremely high. However, and this is what I did as a practical example, because I did some fitness competitions back in my late 20s and early 30s. And when my best friend Mike and I would go out for lunch together, he would order for Me and I would order for him.

Oh, that's awesome.

Yeah. Because I want to see him succeed. He's my best friend. So I'm going to order the best thing for him and he's going to do the same thing for me.

Wow, that's so interesting and so true.

As a practical thing too, because I know this is your crowd as well, is that I did a challenge in one of my communities where I asked people to pair up and I asked them to plan out each other's week, get to know their business and plan out that other person's week. I'll tell you what, it was the most productive, effective, game changing breakthrough weeks of all of those people's lives who participated. Because that other person is going to put the thing on your calendar that they know is going to help you succeed. And they don't live with your resistance, they don't live with your negative beliefs or your own traps that you've got. They're just saying practically, this is what you need to do. And then the fact that other person is reciprocating and doing it for them. You don't want to let each other down.

Oh my God, that's so good. I'm literally like, I'm going to do that in this group that I do with these other women because I. So brilliant. It's so easy to pull in your story all of the time and be like, well, that's gonna be in the way and that's gonna be in the way and it's just not. Why do you think we. Why do we always go back to isolating ourselves?

It's a story that's just been consistent over the course of time where it's, you know, you feel like you're the only one who's going through that. And then secondly, it's that you don't want to bother someone else. Like, no one wants to be a quote, unquote burden by sharing that. But you know, as someone who has problems and situations and circumstances presented to him every single day, because that's what I do for a living. It's only a burden. I think if someone wants to sit inside of it and just talk about it for a very long time. But for me, I'm never bothered by it because I know that the person is there. Just they're struggling with it, but they're struggling with it because they're trying to break free of it. Right. You know, it's. It's when as soon as I have a friend who I'm. I'm not seeing. Struggling with something, that's when I get concerned. Because complacency and apathy are extraordinarily dangerous. Right. Because as soon as you have complacency, as soon. As soon as you have apathy or the next step is very dangerous, which is where hope is lost. And when hope is lost, that's when people do things that are way beyond outside of their character. So as soon as I have someone around me that I care for that goes quiet on me, and again, I know this so well, because I know what I did, and, well, I'm gonna. I'm gonna ping them right away. So it's why. It's why one of the practices I've had since. It's not why, but it's one of the great benefits of this practice. So Since I was 22, I've written a handwritten note every single day, five days a week. So I've written over 4,600 personal letters to people. So if I read a book, I'm going to send that author a note, and it's going to sound something like, you know, hi, Laurie. We've never had the pleasure of meeting before, but I wanted to sit down and send you this note of appreciation for doing the hardest thing I think is out there, which is putting words on paper and writing a book. And specifically, I wanted to thank you for what you said on page 76, and then I'll put in what you said on page 76, and then I'll finish up with that. Really shifted a paradigm that was in my head. So thank you for doing this. I wish you the best, Todd Herman. And I don't say, hey, if you're ever in New York City sometime, let's get some coffee or something like that. But you know what the number one response is? I've gotten back from people?

What?

You have no idea how much I needed to get this today.

Wow.

Wow. And totally not suspecting that or expecting that.

Yeah. And I've written letters to. I'm completely unfiltered. I mean, I've sent letters off to Daniel Day Lewis, Philip Seymour Hoffman, who unfortunately committed suicide. Ronald Reagan and Nancy Reagan. They were actually one of my first 20 letters I sent, and they all responded back. You know, I got letters back on presidential letterhead and all that. And, yeah, the most consistent response back was, you have no idea how much I needed to get this today. Thank you.

Wow. So this is a daily thing that you do. It's like a handwritten note that you send, just something you're grateful for.

And everyone in this community would know, well, about the practice of, you know, people talk about, you know, gratitude journals or whatever. And so this is, this is my way of taking gratitude and magnifying it by passing it on to someone else.

What do you think that's done for your life?

Well, I mean, it's definitely kept me rooted and connected when I've gone through challenging times because that feedback loop that I'm consistently getting back because, you know, I'm writing every day and, you know, I've tried to pursue some tough things and challenging things and all that, and getting that feedback loop constantly closing where I've made someone else feel good, not kept me going, you know, to say, you know, is completely morbid or anything like that, but it really, really helped, you know, fuel me and made me want to do it even more. And yeah, it was. And just having. That's how I start the day and it just kind of anchors me into good place.

So I know writing a book, like, is just such a journey of ups and downs and oh my God, I can't even. I talk about it a lot on this podcast, so I think a lot of people know, but so I'm always just. I love hearing the process because I think it's also just a part of the book. So for you, what, what came up for you on the days where you were either struggling or you had imposter syndrome, or you were like, oh my God, I'm halfway through or whatnot. Can you share some of the struggles with us and how you got through them?

Yeah. Oh, boy. I mean, this is just full transparency. It was the hardest thing I've ever done professionally because a, the method that I use when building out an alter ego with people wasn't a step by step process because it doesn't need to be that way. And even. Well, I'll actually get to this in a second. How I kind of ended up solving it. And so, and I was working with a ghostwriter to help unpack the book. And she's had multiple New York Times best selling books. She was amazing to work with. And I mean, we had a lot of days where I'm like, we would unpack some amazing content and fall down a rabbit hole. And then in the end I'm like, but that doesn't need to go in the book. That's amazing. But it doesn't need to go in the book because it's going to overcomplicate the idea. And what I really want to make sure that this honors is the fact that this can be light, like, I mean, I think you've seen so far in the book. I constantly try to at least bring it back to, hey, by the way, we can be playful with this. Yeah, I love that some people are definitely using this as a way to overcome, you know, some terrible hurts or some trauma. And that is one way that people have used it. Other people, like say David Bowie, who experimented with like saying, using it for like Ziggy Stardust, was using it as a way of expressing a different creative self for themselves. But you know, on those days where it was challenging, I can't, you know, it would be great if I gave someone some phenomenal tip that, you know, this is how I conquered it. But sometimes I just stepped away from it. That was one thing I needed to do just to get some perspective. I will say that, you know, my wife was phenomenal. I'm super lucky in that I, I married my biggest fan and she never loses that doubt. And I would talk to her about it and just unpacking with her, I'd get pops of insight. And actually that was when I'm like, oh, wait a second, Todd, don't forget that's your rhythm. Talk it out with other people and then you're going to find your breakthroughs. So there was that part. And reality was when I sat down with my editor after the first draft was given to him and he was giving me some advice and he would kind of give me some general advice, but it wasn't specific. And finally I'm like, Eric, I need, this isn't helpful for me. I'm a first time author here. I'm a business owner, I'm advisor, mentor. I don't write for a living. And again, Eric works with Malcolm Gladwell. He's Simon Sinek's mentor. The guy has got some serious chops. And so I said, you just can't keep on telling me to like write more like Malcolm Gladwell. That's not helpful to me. And so anyways, he gave me some advice and then at the very end, which I will never forget, this will be, this will forever be burned in my mind as a subject line that I'll never forget, which is in all caps. On August 8, he said, pencils down. And I'll never forget that because it was, he was saying, hey, we're done. There's no more edits to this book. It's good to go. But in that he sent this, he kind of unpacked the last few months and he said, you asked me A few months ago, what you needed to do more of to make your writing even better. And the answer was you just needed to write more. You needed to write more drafts, which goes back to the stuff that you're going to talk with people. What I'll talk about is this. Stay engaged with the process, and we can stay engaged with the process. You're going to, in the end, win out because you're constantly going to be getting better and better and better. And again, I used an alter ego when I wrote. I mean, I used Charles Bukowski, who's a famous fiction writer, the classic kind of guy who drank a lot. And I was like, I wanted to be that when I was kind of playing out this role of being an author.

Oh, my God. I'm just gonna. That, like, needs to just replay and replay because it applies to everything that we just talked about. And it's. It also, I think, is it's just taking a new journey that you've never taken before, which for a lot of people is going to be. What you're talking about here is it also goes back to having let it be fun, it's going to be hard, but also give yourself so much grace. I can't imagine the grace that you had to pull in throughout the writing process as well.

Well, and you know what I will say, once I started getting into it, I fell in love with the. I fell in love with this other side of myself where I always describe myself as a coach and advisor and I've got a really great friend. I don't know. Do you know Jonathan Fields is.

Yes. Good Life podcast? Yeah, exactly.

That's right. I forgot. I was actually talking to him about you today. Anyway, so him and I and two other guys here in New York City, we're in a dad mastermind together. So we all run businesses and we get together every six weeks. We just talk about the dad side of us and then also being business owners.

Oh, that's awesome.

Yeah. And it's been phenomenal. And Jonathan, he has this great framework and way of thinking, like a bandwidth where at one end of the band is a maker and at the other end of the band is a helper. And so when we met, even though we're very, very similar at our core, our character wise, we're the same person almost. But then how we express ourselves in the world is very different. He's very quiet and methodical and very much a deep, deep thinker. And I'm way more kind of gregarious and outgoing and stuff. So anyways, he was like, when he explained it, he said, yeah, I'm 100% a maker. And I said, oh, that's so funny, because I'm 100% a helper. But then so fast forward to after the book is done and him and I are sitting down having breakfast together here in New York, and we were kind of talking about the process and just some shifts that had happened for me through it. I said, man, like, through the process, I think I realized that I'm actually 100% a maker. I'm far more a maker than I ever thought. And he said, it's so funny you say that because I've known that all along. You are, you're 100% a maker. So it's what the gift that the book gave me was. Now pursuing this other kind of next decade of my life will be doing a lot more of that kind of stuff and not as much coaching as I've advising and mentoring as I've done in the past.

I love hearing these stories because there's so much for the people listening, there's so many parts of them and so many paths that they have no idea that are gonna bring like so much massive, just basically euphoria. Because I know that it sounds to me like you found what I found. Just like these little moments of euphoria where you're like more attached to like your creator or whatever you believe in the universe, like, than you've ever been. And you're like, wait a minute, this is actually who I am. Yeah, but it's kind of like you're.

Creating that as well.

It's just the coolest. I love. It's just the coolest journey ever. So before we part, because I could literally, I had to hold back, like, talking so that you. So that we could learn even more. But this could be like a four hour podcast for me.

Well, and by the way, by the way, gang, I mean, Lori and I, I've had many, many people mention Lori to me over the last couple of years. And I think you had mentioned the same thing before as well. And this is the very first time we've ever talked together. And we were on together for about five minutes before this. And yeah, you're already an old friend.

I literally, there's so much. So we're going to have to pick that up because I have notes to remember certain things. But I want to know who when you picture this, because I know that there's so much in the. Because now you're getting into the marketing side, right? And that's like getting it into the hands because you have poured your soul into this book and there's like, you know the value of it. I know the value of it. Who is this for?

Well, this is for those people who are ambitious achievers wanting more than what they may have. And more doesn't mean consumption of more. More might mean actually subtraction deleting stuff that shouldn't be there. And that actually is when I talk about, because I live in the world of high performance. One of the principles that we talk about is performance is actually a subtraction, deletion and removal process more than it ever is an additive process. So many people try to want to add more. But if you think about climbing any mountain, the people who are going to take the longest to get up there are the ones who try to pack as much as they possibly can on their back and drag it up with them, them. Whereas the people who are going to get there in a stealth fashion or without overwhelming and tiring themselves out are the ones who are going to unpack a lot. And so that for me is, that could be achievement for people. Achievement could be just letting go stuff that you don't need to carry anymore. Or it could be people that want to be. I mean, I use, I talk about the alter ego that I use for me being a parent. The last thing that my little kids need, I got a five year old, a four year old and a two year old. Last thing they need is this confident, decisive and articulate version of Todd that shows up in business. What they want is the fun, playful and get on the ground and muck around version. And so we can all get caught up in our own day. There's a lot of energy that goes into running a business and doing the stuff that we do. And so when you end up going home to them, you can rob them of that energy because you could be tired and that's not fair to them. So before I walk through the door here, just stop for a second just to make sure I remember I'm going on to a new field. Who do I want to be on that field? And now I don't even need to do it because it's just unconscious. But you know, as a new dad, I needed to do that. And when I walk in the door, there's a little hook where my daughter Molly made a small little bracelet for me a couple years ago and it has Ms. And C on it. Molly, Sophie and Charlie and I put it on and that's my totem that's my artifact, that's my version of my glasses, where that's how I want to embody. And. And who lives in that? Again, that's. That enclosed cognition is Mr. Rogers. And I don't know if anyone here has watched the Mr. Rogers, won't you be my neighbor documentary, which is amazing.

I heard it was amazing.

It's amazing. You got to watch it. Literally a third of that documentary is about alter egos. And they talk about how his famous hand puppet, which is Daniel Tiger, which is now a famous cartoon. His wife talks about how Daniel Tiger was his alter ego, which was really the truest reflection of how. Who he felt he really was, and he acted himself through Daniel Tiger. And so that's, you know, it's. Because there's those moments where it's like you can easily respond and react, you know, emotionally. But just having that idea of, well, how would Mr. Rogers do this? Well, I'm going to get down on one knee. Because he always got down on one knee. He would always talk at eye level. You know, Sophie, my middle one, she's got this fantastic emotional bandwidth, let's just call it that, where she can go off pretty fast. And me meeting again, like I said at the very beginning, me meeting force with force, right? Her force of her energy with my force of being like that dominating parent that's like going to yell and scream back, it doesn't work. So I shifted because that's what I was. I was making that mistake and I shifted. And, you know, Mr. Rogers would just get down on one knee and he would probably embrace her and give her a hug. And it's amazing how what would typically have been a 5 to 12 minute meltdown goes to 18 to 30 seconds, because that's all she needs. Is that so, you know, the application of this is so universal. And people have used it to help them, you know, bring their heroic self on many different stages, many different fields, whatever that might be.

I love that. And I found so many parts of it. I can't wait to read it in its entirety. What, what you talked about at the end for finding wherever you're at in the journey, like, for me right now, it is the taking away. And I'm just. I love that I was reading part of that in your book. Just the confirmation. And also I think it's important to. When you're in that space, we can be so attached to different identities and just also learning about, oh, you can switch it. That actually doesn't matter. We can choose how we feel. And to Make a good day. And you can do it through this process as well. So I love that. And I just want to acknowledge you for how you've shown up in the world as such an amazing teacher. And you have this beautiful ability to take those really big topics and make them super easy to understand and very bite sized. So I'm so grateful for that. Which is probably challenging at times.

Well, but that's my favorite thing. I mean, I'm dyslexic, so that's kind of one of the superpowers of people who've got dyslexia is, I think, in pictures. And so what it does, it allows me to maybe see things, sort of chunk things up a little bit into, like, what's the big picture here? Like, the moment you pull me down in the weeds, boy, that overwhelms me. If you want a fantastic way to make me anxious, then definitely pull me down to the details of something. One of my superpowers is definitely shaping context for people, and I love that because I think one of the most powerful gifts you can ever give someone isn't necessarily motivation, isn't confidence, because both of those things are born out of clarity. When someone gets clarity, all that fog gets lifted. Now when they're standing at the entrance to the forest, if there's fog in there, no one's going to run into that forest headlong and as fast as they can. But when you remove that fog and it lifts up and they can see a path forward now, the confidence shows up and the motivation or the momentum and all that stuff. So that's kind of what I'm always focused on, is how can I help someone get more clarity around this so they can see it differently, shift the paradigm or get a new perspective. And then now they can move forward.

Oh, amen. When I'm not clear, I'm like, debilitated. Yeah, it's crazy. So, amen. So, okay, for your book, where do you want us to go to go grab it? Because you guys, literally, this will be a book that will help you not only get clarity, but will absolutely impact and change your life. Because it's not something that has to take a long time to start doing. So where should we go? Should we go to Amazon?

Well, I mean, yeah, they can go to Amazon. They can go to alteregoeffect.com and they can click on. We've got all the links ready for people. So it redirects them properly to the Amazon store around the world or the Barnes and Noble stores or wherever they want to Go buy it from. If you want to go to your local bookstore and all that kind of good stuff. But if they just go to alteregoeffect.com the links are all there for people to go out and grab it wherever their preferred place is.

Oh, my gosh, I love that. And here's the deal that we have so many overachievers on here. So for the overachievers, if you want to leave a review or text this episode to a friend, that can be like, your a extra credit. Because as an author, and I always like to share this because we have so many people who listen to this who want to be an author or they want to be a speaker as an author, it takes a massive community to get it out there. So if you do love it, just take one extra second and share it or text it and make sure your friends are reading it with you and start a book club. Just kidding.

Well, and tag me. Like, tag me. Let me know if any of you got questions. Tag me on social media. I'm on Instagram and Facebook and all those other places that everyone else hangs out as well. So, yeah, I mean, it's one of those, just like you said. I mean, if you can do this book with someone else too, again, that's where you're uniting that superpower alliance of bringing other people into an extraordinary world with you.

Oh, yes.

And they know I'm all about that, so I'm hoping that they've all started that. So. Okay, I always end on one last question. Are you ready?

Let's do it.

Okay, so you have, like, 30 seconds in passing with a stranger, whether you're on the street or in an elevator, and they look at you and they act you. How can I make myself happy? What do you say?

How can I make someone.

How can I make myself happy?

Yeah. I think there'd be two things I would say back to them. I know there's gonna be two things is one, sit down and write a note to someone thanking them for the way that they make you feel and how they've impacted you in some way. That's number one.

Okay.

And number two would be to go out and find someone that you do not know and pay them an unadvertised compliment. So that one sounds strange to some people. The first one is the easiest. Go to the second one, though. I think that if there was a championship for being or finding the world's best elevator conversationalist, I think I would probably win that battle.

You're like, this was my question.

I Love getting in the elevator. And I do this every day. I mean, living in New York City because we're always in elevators, it makes it easy. But I love getting in the elevator and just striking up conversations and I always will reference something that's situational. So, you know, if Laurie, if you get on the elevator with me, I might look down and I'll be like, new shoes. And it's insane how many times someone respond back with, oh, my God, yes, they are. Do you like them? And I'm like, you're rocking them. Those are outstanding. And what you do for that person in that moment, they are floating on a cloud for the rest of the day. Because again, don't forget, so many people, not everybody, but so many people go out in the world feeling insecure about themselves and if I can pass, can stack one more little poker chip of confidence onto their side of the table. I don't know the domino that might drop for them that day. So just paying someone a just random compliment about something and it's even something as simple as just today. I mean, where my office is, there's a pizza place downstairs. A guy got in with a slice of pizza and all I said to him was like, pizza day, hey. And he's like, oh, my God, man. It was a long weekend and we just got chatting about stuff and then I said, oh, have you tried out this pizza place there? Anyway, it was a 15 second conversation, but for someone, I could just tell it was like one of those days. If it was 10 seconds where it made him happy then. And again, for me, it's so selfish. Makes me feel better.

Literally when I'm open to that and when I'm doing that, I swear I have like, my day gets 90% better. And it's true. Someone just gave me a random compliment on Monday that I'm still carrying with me. It's Wednesday, so it could have a serious effect. I'm so grateful for you. I cannot wait to have the physical copy of your book in my hand and I just think that this is going to be. I think this is. We're just gonna just claim it here that it's gonna be an amazing book launch and all of the things are going to be incredible with this book. So thank you so much for coming on.

Thank you. Thank you, Lori. I appreciate this. As you know, this stuff is not easy to do and to have someone like you come along and share your platform and your tribe with this message is very much appreciated. So thank you.

Oh, we are the blessed ones today. So thank you. And you guys, if you loved this podcast as much as I did, make sure you share it with your friends. And until next time, earn your happy. Bye everyone.

Thank you guys so much much for spending this time with me on the Earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought and honest question comment. Tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again guys.

Bye Bye.