330: What Messages Are Your Feelings Trying To Tell You?

What we believe is reality is never reality. Because the place that someone's saying something from, or the tone that it's coming from, or the belief that it came from, or the feeling that you might be feeling isn't even necessarily what they're projecting, even though it might seem so clear. Welcome to the Earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves, get ready to earn, own, and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Foreign. Welcome back to the earn your happy podcast. And it's time for another quickie because there's always time to fit in inspiration. And you guys are so incredibly amazing at playing these on your walks, on your car rides, on your breaks. Just that quick shot of changing where your mindset is at into changing it to where you want it to be. And I have this theory that when I am not in a place where I want to be, I always try to find somebody who spoke from the vibration vibration of the place that I desire to be in. So for me, it's really reading a book or listening to a podcast or listening to someone who is speaking life back into me. Sometimes it's not even about the words that they're saying, but the vibration that they are actually carrying. And you guys, before I get into this quickie, I want to remind you that Chris and I have a mastermind that him and I just started. So this is for people who are in the beginning phases of their business or who've had a business for a while that is not moving at the pace or to the level that they desire. And truly, we have made all of the mistakes that we would love to help you pass over and also connect you to the people and the teachings and the things that will help you move quicker. This is really about accelerating your growth. We want to take three to five years and accelerate it down into a year long process. So we'll be meeting two weekends in five months. So it is a five month period that we will be together and we'll spend two weekends together connecting, talking and working on your Business with other like minded people. I'm telling you, this is an incredible incubator of human beings where we will all be working together on your businesses and you will get the mindset and be around the mindset that will help elevate you and accelerate you into the place that you want to be. So you can go to fastfoundations.com if you want to join us. And the main thing is we just want to help grow your business and have fun because I truly believe that those two things can go together. And that's what this is all about. It's just massive personal growth and business growth. So go to fast foundations.com because I would love, love, love if it was you that I got to spend time with you, the listener, because you're the people. You're the people that I want to be in the actual room with talking and moving all of our lives forward. So back to the quickie today, which is all about just emotions and feelings and really looking at where we're at. Because that's always what our reality actually is. It's not even necessarily what's going on around us. It's how everything is making us feel. And this is interesting because nothing is actually making us feel away. We're looking at something and we're applying our own meaning to to it. And the meaning is coming from every single story and collective moment that we have been through. So we're looking at our whole world. We're taking every sentence that is spoken to us. We're taking every single tone and tonality that someone is expressing a sentence to us. And we are going back in our file cabinet to our best friend who said something to us in that certain tone, to our dad who said something to us in that certain tone. And we are applying all of the past meaning into that very moment. Moment where their meaning has nothing to do with ours. Every single moment has nothing. And how you're feeling actually is never someone else's exact reality. So what I want us to do right now is really question all reality. Because what we believe is reality is never reality. Because the place that someone's saying something from or the tone that it's coming from, or the belief that it came from, or the feeling that you might be feeling isn't even necessarily, necessarily what they're projecting, even though it might seem so clear. Because all of their stories and the way that things were said to them are all coming up to this moment that you get to apply meaning to. So on top of this, there's a Beautiful quote that I've just been like, marinating on, just like thinking in my head over and over. Because I will tell you, let me just read the quote first and then I'll tell you exactly what's been going on in my world. So this is by Muji, and the quote is, feelings are just visitors. Let them come and go. Feelings are just visitors. Let them come and go. I believe in seasons of life, and I talk so much about seasons of life because there are so many seasons of life. If we look around, everything in life has a season. Everything comes and goes. All of the winter seasons have a reason. And we like to look at winter and we think that it's just cold, it's long, it's dark, and it's purposeless, but it's not. It's bringing about a new version of summer, it's bringing a new year, it's bringing a new version of the flower, it's bringing a new version of the tree, it's bringing new life. It's a new cycle of life. And it cannot happen without that winter season and that feeling that you're feeling because you can't get a new version of happy or a different version of elation, or a different version of blissed out. If you don't go through the winter season. We want to skip over the gestation, and we want to skip over the feelings of darkness, and we want to skip over the feelings of isolation and anxiety or depression. But these are all very normal feelings. And they're just visitors. So if we can view them as visitors, then if we knew that they were just visiting and they weren't staying, like they don't hold a permanent bedroom. They're just in your guest room. Some guests stay way longer than others. Some you don't know when they're going to leave. Some you have to take actual action and start telling them that it's time to go, right? You say you've stayed long enough, we're going to start being really proactive and it's time to go. But they're all just visitors. But they all have a message for you. So this is how I want you to view it. And I heard this on a podcast and I cannot remember who said it, but start viewing them as visitors who just have a message for you. So every visitor that's there, sometimes they're really long, right? It's a really long visitor. Maybe it's a mom, a mother in law, father in law, whatever it is. And maybe it's painful, maybe it's a Long lost cousin who's basically just moved themselves into your life. And it is not easy, it is tough. You don't get along, you feel awful, you're like, why are you in my space? What's happening? But if you just started asking it, if you started being interested in it, if you started saying, why are you here? Why are you visiting me? What are you trying to show me? Are you trying to give me contrast? Are you trying to show me how great my life was that I didn't actually appreciate it? And now the only thing that I actually want is this feeling to be gone and for me to get back to the normalcy of my life. Like, sometimes they're just there to show us how great our life actually was. Sometimes they're there to show us that we've got a whole other level to get to. Sometimes they're there to expand us. Sometimes they're there to remind us to do less. Ask the season of your feeling right now why it is serving you? What is it giving to you? Because I promise you, it's giving you something great. You're just not seeing it. And I know that the faster that we can get the lesson, the faster you can move through it. But I'm telling you guys this because I have been in like a. Just a wintry season, and for the first time in what feels like months and months and maybe years, you guys, like, it's not that I was unhappy, but I just was. Wasn't feeling like my old self. I was like, maybe this is the new me. Maybe the new me can't get to those elated feelings that I used to feel all the time. Maybe the new me can't quite connect into God as, like, intensely as I used to. Maybe the new me isn't able to, you know, get these insane like, lightning bolts of energy and creativity. Like, I used to, like, I really have started thinking this lately. And I was like, maybe this is just the new normal. Maybe this is trying to humble me and say, hey, you, don't you, you know, you're gonna have to just be happy with whatever feelings you're receiving right now. So I was literally starting to like, go to that level. And not that it was a level down, it's a level of acceptance. And I'll tell you that as soon as I started to get the lesson of it's acceptance that even if that was my new level, that I could be happy there, right? That I could just accept it. And I didn't believe that I could for a very long time. So I fought against it. And the more that I fought against it, the more that I was not getting back to feeling like myself. So I can honestly say I think it's been like a year and a half or two years where I have not completely felt like myself. Now no one in the outside world knows and the only person that really knows is some of my very close friends and my husband. Because I just was like, man, I just, I don't know what it is, but I can't. I just don't. I feel like I'm missing something. Like I'm missing that old spark in myself. I'm missing the ease of connection. I'm missing that like lightning bolt creativity that I used to get. And for real, I mean, like you guys, two years of where I'm like, this is feeling really challenging in the mornings to feel inspired to get up. And I know that sounds so crazy from someone who's in this arena, but we teach what we need the most, you guys. So I'm so grateful to get on here and talk about it because I think it's really important to hear and I think that I've just been being visited to really strip myself away of the addiction to those feelings of needing to feel elevated all the time, of. Of desiring to feel blissed out, of needing to feel like I have these massive goals and I'm chasing after them. And the question that I've been asking myself over and over and over again is if I didn't do another thing in the world, could I be happy with myself? If I just enjoyed life in my day to day and didn't move towards goals or didn't have to play a significant role in something, could I be happy? And I've been sitting this question for so long and I don't quite have all the answers yet, but my answers have been coming back that I can start to say yes, just the very beginning. Now don't get me wrong, don't get me wrong. I'm at the very beginning. I can't even say a full body 10%. Yes. But it has been helping me detach from different identities that I didn't even realize that I had. It has been helping me detach from believing that I needed to be a happy person all of the time. And to be quite honest, it's like I'm accepting more when I am not feeling a million percent, when I'm not feeling happy and understanding that this feeling of maybe anxiety or this feeling of boredom or this feeling of nothing is actually here. For me and that I can sit in it and that I can accept it and I can be okay with it and that it's not me and I'm not identifying with with it, but I am observing it and I am knowing that it has come to visit me and it's here for a little while. And it's probably offering me something so beautiful like understanding or like compassion or contrast or being able to wr from a new place or being able to write about different emotions or really understanding how some people can go through really long winter seasons and that it's okay and that it's that period where something miraculous underneath might be happening. Or not. Or not. Can you be okay with the. Or not? And that's the interesting part is can we really look around and still be accepting and still be in love with our life and what we have, but know that it's not going to always be butterflies and rainbows no matter what we do? No matter how good your practice is, no matter how your rituals are, no matter how much of that dream business has come to fruition, no matter how much that money has gone in your bank account, no matter how much your dreams are all around you, it is up to you to accept all of the human emotion because you're still a human. And if it was all just beautiful, you wouldn't have the glorious richness in the layers and the depth of what it means to feel and be a human.

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So thank those feelings, thank the visitors and know that they are just visitors and they are coming and they are going. And guys, I hope that me sharing my journey just so truthfully and vulnerably, like letting you know, hey, it might look like even when someone's doing all of the things that they want to be doing, there could be something off. They could be doing too much. Their identity could be stuck to something that they don't even realize and they may not be at that feeling or that place that they wish they could be at. And it's really important, I think for people to know that. It's like, it's important to feel. It's important to feel all the feelings and it's important to say when you're off, it's okay. You know something that's been so awesome. My husband's so amazing. Truly, when I have been feeling Off. And I say it to him. I'm like, man, I just. I just. It's like, I'm in love with my life. I'm so blessed. And I'm just a little bit off. Like, I'm a little blue today, and I can't put my finger on it, and I'm not. He's like, why judge it? Who cares? Be off. Accept it. That's okay. Be off. Be tired. Take a nap. Rest. Sit in it. Who cares? Be off. Say a prayer. That's okay. Be off all day long. Don't feel good. All day long. And that's okay, too. Hey, complain. That's okay. Be off. But then, you know, do your normal things. But it's okay to be off. Don't judge it. So I'm gonna leave it right there with you guys. And I hope that you know that I'm just sending you so much love if you're in that season, if you're off or if you feel like I feel that the veil is lifting, I will tell you, there is nothing better. And it just happens in one day. I was just talking to some friends who felt the same way for the last year, and they're like, you know, I just kind of got used to this new norm, and all of a sudden, the veil is lifting and it' in one day, it just turns upside down and you feel energized again and the world looks different. So it's called being a human. And I'm right there with you, and I hope that your veil is lifting or will lift soon. And if not, that's also a gift, too. So until next time, you guys earn your happy, and I'm so incredibly grateful for you. Bye. Bye. Thank you guys so much for watching spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought and honest comment. Tell us what you think, Tell us what you want to hear. More of it would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again, guys. Bye. Bye.