332: What Was Your Pivot Point?

At the end of that year, I could start it feeling coming to a close. I was like, I think this chapter is done for me. Like, I'm gonna. It felt really sad and super scary because I didn't know what was next, but I knew that the only way to know what was next was to stop what was comfortable. Welcome to the earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model turned self love jun, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul, and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves, get ready to earn, own, and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Hey, everybody. Welcome back to another episode of questionably awesome. And I have my co pilot in the airplane with me today, and she's flying, so we can't interrupt her. But we will be landing soon. Yes.

Thank you for being on our flight today. We hope you enjoyed everything. Please leave a review.

I. I like that. Ooh, can we be. Can we be stewardesses?

Yes.

Do you want to marry a pilot?

Yes, I do. I actually find pilots very attractive.

Well, sorry, you might be in the wrong boat right now.

Hope Adam likes to learn how to fly and put on a uniform.

You might. Do you think he would. Do you think if you gave him an ultimatum and you said, unless you learn how to fly, I'm out.

I feel like you were like, that's ridiculous.

I don't know. I think between the bloody Marys in the air and the Delta cookies, I'm just. I'm an. I. I'm. I can be bought easily.

Me too. Those cookies are good.

Yeah. And have you ever seen that movie with Leonardo DiCaprio where, like, he's a pilot and all of the women love him? Yes. That could become a problem. Actually, that could. What's that movie called?

It's good. Chasing, catching something.

Catch me if you can.

Catch me if you can.

It's really good. Rewatch it if you haven't seen it. If you don't like it, don't tell me.

Yep.

All right. So we are back and in full effect. And do we have a review of the week? I mean, should we start with that? Let's start with that. And then we'll jump into. I need to know some stuff.

You need to know a lot of stuff. And this wonderful review. We're just going to let everyone wait for a second.

Oh, I think I have it. Tracelin.

Tracelin.

Tracelin. Sc. So we're thinking it's South Carolina, which makes you feel very at home.

I love it. And I love you, Tracy. Tracelin.

Okay, so this one. This one. Really? This one got us. Did you find it?

Yes.

You want to read it or do you want me to? You have a better choice? Should I do one word and you do the next word and then people will love that.

Oh, my gosh, Lori.

You and Evans, we have to stop. You and Evans need to take the Q and A sessions on the road. I get so tickled listening to the two of you. I definitely think together you could solve a lot of worldly problems. Or at least offer an amazing dose of laughter while trying. Thanks for sharing all things Bliss filled with your listeners. I love her. Tickled. And we gotta have a tickle party with her.

Yeah.

That's gonna be so weird.

But. But. But it's fine.

Yeah, we're gonna laugh a lot. Did you like getting tickled?

No, I hate it. Not like that at all.

I hated it.

Like, why would do people do that?

I don't know. It's torture. Like, even when Chris does it to me, I'm like, this is torture. Don't touch me.

Right? They think it's funny. No, I think that some people in this world like being tickled. And that's okay.

I don't know.

I'm not in that boat.

I don't know. Like, that is not my thing.

That's not fun.

Maybe with feathers or something.

Yeah. Tickled with chocolate.

Tickled with hot fudge. You can tickle me with hot fudge any day.

Grilled cheese sandwich. Tickles.

Ham. Sammy. Tickles. Just drape that bun right over me. Nice and light.

Hey, have you eaten anything recently that's really just made you happy?

Speaking of grilled cheese. Yeah. I went to Mastro's this weekend. Yeah, we had, like, a girls night on Saturday night, which I never, hardly ever do. And we ended up staying in this super amazing hotel downtown called the sls.

Yes.

Which is, like, super. How would you even describe that? Just like, ooh, swanky.

It's so sweet.

Super swanky.

Yeah, it feels kind of. It's. Lots of art is in there, too.

Yeah.

Wow. That did not sound smart. But there's art.

It sounds like me.

Is that art over there?

Hey, that's a painting.

Is that called an art installation? Because I am from Marquette, Michigan, and I think that that's what that is. That's art. That be art over there. Yeah. So there's lots of art.

And did you feel really recharged after a weekend?

I. I did, and I didn't. Just because we didn't sleep that great and I had some champagne that made me like. But I felt my soul was recharged. My body was like, take a nap, sister. But we went to Mastro's that night, and it was Grammys weekend, so it was kind of fun because we saw celebrities. Do you know who I saw who. Who sat literally right next to us? I couldn't stop staring because I do. You know, Is it. Is it Rob Herkovic? No. From Shark Tank. The nice one. The guy.

Oh, I don't know. The one with the. With the piercing blue eyes and slicked back hair.

Yeah. Who's married to Kim Kardashian. Nope. Other Kim. She's. She was on Dancing with the Stars. She's like, Australian, I think.

Oh, man.

Oh, man. Come on. You guys are in your cars yelling the name right now, and I can't hear you. Herkavik. Yes, totally. So anyway, I was like, what does this mean? And it means nothing. It means I was having a great meal and staring super hard. Um, but that was kind of fun. Cause the Grammys, like, everywhere I looked, I was like, oh, my God.

Celebrity.

Yeah, it's kind of. I don't know, it's just one of those LA weekends that you're like, oh, my God, I live here. It's weird.

It's so weird.

Yeah. Like, when you go to yoga, you see famous people.

Once again, Josh Duhamel, if you're out there.

Yeah. Have you seen him recently? No. What is going on?

I really am upset.

Do you think he's back with Fergie?

Could be.

She's. She's such a distraction.

She is. With beauty like that, how could you make it to your.

This has gotta stop. Like, she's gotta stop with all that.

With all her beauty and talent gifts. And she's probably real nice, too.

You know what she is. She's got it all. I have a feeling, but you've got it all. Never look in the mirror and just say, I've got it all.

No, but I'll start.

Oh, my God. That's a good mantra. I'm gonna start tomorrow.

Tomorrow morning.

Why start tomorrow when you can start right now? I see the mirror right there. I've got it all.

I've got it all.

I think it's got to be said, like, way more powerful. Like, I have got it all.

No, that's actually a good idea.

Yeah.

We really do have everything.

You've got it all. We've got mantra. Yeah. We've got all of it. Like, I've got bags of tricks. Like, I'm wearing cargo pants with everything in it. Yeah. Full of tricks. Like, all of them.

You got magic.

Magic. Magical beans in these pants. Something. You got a quote.

Yes, I do. It's from the great Oprah Winfrey.

Oh, my gosh. I love her. Yeah. She's like a wizard.

So she says. She says, breathe, let go, and remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.

Okay. That got a little dark at the.

End, but I didn't.

All right. Hey, I really enjoyed it before you died, but I like the beginning. Yeah. You know what? Do you know what I like to do? Cut off the parts that don't work for you.

Yeah.

Like eat the fruit and spit out the seeds.

Exactly.

Breathe.

Let go. This is a great moment. How's that?

I do think it's really important to realize that we die, though. I was thinking about that today because I was like, it's sad, but also, like, if you don't get okay with that, you're kind of, like, not really living, then.

Yeah.

Because there's so many things that are so good about living that aren't that great until you realize you're not going to have them forever.

Oh, that's true.

Like, sometimes I look at my dog, and I'm like, oh, my God. Like, I feel like I'm just loving her even more and more and more and more because time is so precious.

Time is precious. And so is waffles.

Yeah. She's under my feet right now, so maybe we should talk about that. She's gonna live for, like, another hundred years.

She is, because she's an angel.

Yeah. Did you hear that? Rock? Rock. Yeah. All right.

What's your quote?

My quote is about expectations. Ooh. If you expect nothing from somebody, you are never disappointed. Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed. When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are.

Ooh.

Doesn't that feel good? Like, okay, so recently, I just feel like I've had some other people place expectations on me, which actually felt crappy. Like, so. And it's not a lesson. Like, it was a lesson for me to let it be. Okay. That they had expectations and that they were disappointed, but it was also like a. Wow. Expectations. Like, when you have them and when I have them on anyone else like you, you're just setting yourself up for failure. Yeah, I love talking about expectations because that's what this quote says. Like, blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed. I feel like I'm reading a Bible scripture. I have no idea where this came from. There's no name on it.

I.

No, I am not claiming it, but I love it.

I love that, too.

It's just freedom.

It's just freedom. You just don't need to hang on to things like that.

Freedom to be. Did you watch the Grammys?

You know, I didn't.

You know what? You didn't miss much.

Really, lady.

I'm trying to think.

Did she sing?

She did. And she was dressed, like, for some reason, it was freaking amazing, but it. It, like, didn't feel. I think in person it would have been amazing, but it didn't translate as well. And maybe everyone on here hates me right now for saying, I don't think so, but. No, everyone loves you. You got it all.

You got it all. Lori.

She was wearing what looked like a cross between Kiss and what Freddie Mercury wears on stage. So it was a onesie that was like a deep, plunging V with very high platforms on. And I was like, why. Why do we have to wait to sing and be famous to wear these outfits?

Good question. Answer is, you don't.

Yeah. And we're wearing it right now. Yeah.

And right now we're in platforms and overalls.

That's.

That's.

That's her.

It's their studded overalls, though, and with a deep V. A deep V. Overalls. I mean, I think they're missing the boat on those.

Seriously?

Yeah. I don't know. I like it. I like it, too. We got cues.

We got some cues. Okay, this one is from. And she was asking. You recently talked about pushing the needle, and she was wondering if you could give some examples how you push the needle.

Girl, I'm talking about quilting. Hardcore quilting. Hardcore sewing.

Yep.

Be a needle pusher. Be a needle.

Push that.

Be a nurse. Waffles is being so distracting right now. It's out of control.

Yep.

She's like, oh, here's a door. Oh, here's people, let me out. Waffles. Waffles. Ruck off. Okay, that's waffles when she swears. And technically it's not swearing because it's not really a swear word, so. You can, like add R to the beginning of anything and you can do it around infants, you can do it around children. It's fine. It's totally fine.

It's totally fine.

Infants are fine with it. Yes.

They do not mind.

No. Okay. Needle moving actions.

Yes.

Okay. I want to know about your needle moving actions as well, and I'm going to share a little bit about the difference between action and an actual needle moving action. So when we were doing a lot with our network marketing company, when people would come into the company, they'd be like, how do we make money? How do we actually set this business up? How do we make this work? How do we take the actions that will actually bring that are income producing action? So when I say needle moving, it's either income producing actions or it's something that is going to bring you the result that you want, like the actual tangible result. So in network marketing, there's important things that you can do that are actionable, but they're not the needle movers. So those things would be learning about your company. Those things would be listening to podcasts about your product or your company or sales. Those things would be reading a book about what you're doing. Those things would be more research. Those things would be needing to learn more before you feel like you're ready. Like, so many people would be like, okay, well, you know, I'm doing all the right stuff. And today I dedicated my day to learning and setting up calls and planning. And while those are great, the actual things that will move the needle are connecting with someone and talking one on one. Yeah. Closing a sale, following through, making the actual connections to and appointments to connect with people and share the product. And share the thing and actually sell the product.

Doing it.

Yes, actually doing it. So that's a needle moving thing. Like us sitting down and recording right now is needle moving. So we're actually doing the thing that if you, you know, if you want to start a podcast or you want to be consistent, you can talk about it, you can, you know, you can plan it all you want, but until you actually sit down and record, it's not an actual needle moving thing.

Right.

You have to, you have to do it. Yeah, totally.

Can't talk about it.

No. So how about you? What are your needle movers that you do?

Well, you were talking before we started this, you were talking about relationships.

Yeah.

And I'd say with Adam, a needle moving thing is actually setting dates because we both miss. He works far away. So at nighttime we're like, oh, let's be tired.

Yeah. Together, though. So this is a great relationship.

Yeah. This is awesome.

But.

And then you're like, oh, my gosh, it's been, like, two weeks, and we haven't done anything together as a date, and you have to plan something. So it's planning those things and then doing them and making reservations. And just especially if you make a reservation, it makes you go.

It does. We just made a reservation tomorrow, even though everything was booked for True Food, because, of course, you guys, this is not recorded, like, totally real time, so tomorrow's Valentine's Day. Oh, True food, though. Like, for real. But still, I think it sounds. That's all. I feel like tomorrow, like, I don't feel like getting all. Because I. Bliss project is coming up, so the last thing I want to do is, like, go out and get all dressed up and whatever.

Like pasta.

Yeah. No, not feeling. Oh, yeah. That's what I had at Mastros. I had scallops and pasta.

We forgot to talk about that.

It's too busy talking about Herkovic and his beautiful dancing wife.

Yeah. God, so many things. Hey, do you want another question? I. I. Let's do it up. Okay.

Who's this one from?

This one's from Atleta Alexandra.

That's a beautiful name.

That is a really pretty name. And she was wondering, what was your pivot point where you changed over from fitness to coaching masterminds, things like that?

You know, I want to talk about pivots because it's like, I. I think that it's important to recognize in your life all pivots, whether you're done with a workout, whether you're like, you know what? This, yoga and Josh Duhamel not filling my soul anymore. Yeah. Like, at one point, he was. Now he's not.

Now he's not there.

Bye. So that's the pivot point. For real, though, there was a point in fitness where I was doing all these competitions, and I was very excited, and I loved it, and it was, like, empowering me. And then the last year, I. So the last year, I was like, okay, the same competitions aren't doing it for me. Like, I'm not getting as lit up. This is feeling more like a chore. It's feeling really challenging. And I was like, okay, well, I'll switch. I'll do, like, the routine portion where it's a huge challenge. So then I did that for a year, and that really lit me up. And then at the end of that year, I could start it feeling coming to a close. I was Like, I think this chapter is done for me. Like, I'm gonna. It felt really sad and super scary because I didn't know what was next. But I knew that the only way to know what was next was to stop what was comfortable and, like, what. At that point, it had been like six, seven years of, like, doing the same thing. And like, yeah, I felt comfortable with the women. I felt comfortable, like, in that industry. And what scared me the most was going into, like, personal development and really starting to use my voice in a different way. And I was like, oh, dang. And I knew that's when I needed to pivot because I just was not happy anymore. Like, not like I was like, oh, this is miserable. It wasn't filling my soul anymore.

You can just feel it in your gut.

I just knew it. Yeah. Like, I just literally knew it. I was just like, I need. You have to do something else. And it's just how life is. Like, sometimes you know that with a workout. Sometimes you know that with where you live. Sometimes you know that. I mean, with anything.

A relationship.

Yeah. Yeah. Shout out to your mom and. And your dog.

Yeah. All the listeners.

Yeah. How is your mom?

My mom's great. She. Oh, she actually just started listening to Oprah's. Well, she always listen to Oprah, so Purso.

Yeah.

But she's doing this series with Eckhart Tolle right now.

Yeah. Is it good?

She loves it. And she said, and I quote, it's changed my life.

Oh, my gosh. What does it change to do you know? She's wearing sleeveless stuff.

She's wearing sleeveless stuff now. No more turtlenecks.

Cart's like, you know, I talk so slow. You should wear sleeveless.

Sleeveless now. She was just talking about your thoughts because she. I. We're both very high strung people, I think.

Yeah.

And she was saying, like, oh, if you have, like a negative thought and you just let that thought come through and just say, I'm realizing I'm having this thought and this isn't a thought and this is not me.

Oh, my God, I love that so much because I've been. You'll love this. One can share it with mom. Yeah. And Eckhart, if you see him, probably will now. You will in yoga for sure. You'll be like, doing down dog. And you'll be like, eckhart, oh, my Josh. Okay. But this is what you can share with them. What I heard on a podcast and they were talking about. Wow, that's a great sentence, Lori. I heard on podcast.

I Listen. Podcast now.

Oh my God. Oh, it's like hieroglyphics on a wall. I heard. Podcast now. Teach wisdom. Okay, so they said that feelings are just visitors. Like they come and go. Like they're just visiting you, but they have a message for you. It's like, oh, here they are. This is what I'm bringing you.

Yeah.

Like if you're like, oh, I feel like crap.

I feel like crap. You just let that feeling go.

You're like, hey, crap visitor, get out of my house. You're not welcome here. There's no tea for you.

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There's a toilet if you want to exit that way.

Yeah. If you want to get out of my house.

Bye. So let him visit.

Yeah, let him visit and then let them leave. Yeah.

Bye. Came. So is that our last question?

That was so.

Any last sentiments? People are still not sediments. Because that. That's the bottom of a wine glass, right?

You don't want that right now.

I think that if like sediments, I think they're okay because that's a sign.

Of a good wine.

I think it is like a very old wine. Right? Like. Or a very.

Right. I know nothing about wine.

I don't need drinking. I'm so sorry, everyone.

We're sorry.

I. I don't know. I think it's like, I don't know, fermented grape juice. I'm not sure.

Yeah. Hey, what are you excited about right now?

Thanks for turning that around. I felt like I was really floundering. You're welcome. What am I? Bliss project?

I knew you were gonna say that.

I'm getting so excited.

Me too.

And it doesn't feel crazy right now.

It really does.

You feel crazy?

No.

I don't know. On your end.

I feel excited.

Okay.

And just excited because I'm like watching.

All these women starting to get excited on social media. So that's exciting me. They're like, some. A lot of them have been there before and some of them are like, oh, my God, I've never been here. And I'm so nervous and I'M like, of course you are. Like, that's so normal. We're nervous.

I'm nervous.

Yeah. But we know it's awesome.

I know they're gonna be great people there, and I'm gonna learn a lot.

Yeah, it's gonna be amazing. Like, and it's so different than last year.

So different.

And can we just talk about what's going to go on there? Like this, or not even what's going to go on. I just want to talk about what it's going to look like because I'm so excited about the stage.

It's going to be absolutely beautiful and fun.

Oh, yeah. Just like, fun. Like, fun guy.

And I feel like it's. It really shows you expressing yourself and stepping into who Lori is. And I love that you're doing that.

Wearing a cone bra.

Lori is wearing a cone bra this year.

Express yourself. It's going to be Madonna.

Hey, if you want to.

You do. You know what? I know you're doing it. I'm doing it because that has your name all over it. Watch out. Over a turtle. You know what it's going to be? It's going to be ice cream. Maybe. Maybe I am confusing that with an ice cream cone shirt.

Yes. Ice cream cone. Little. Little cartoon ice cream cones. She's wearing her Jenny sweatshirt right now.

It says, please take me to Jenny's. Right. Please take me to Jenny's. Tell me about Jenny's. Just real quick, because they need to know.

Okay. Jenny's is the most amazing ice cream place. And it started in Columbus, Ohio, by a woman named Jenny Britton Bauer. And Jenny is an amazing female entrepreneur. And she had a. She went through. She started this business, and then it failed. And then it. She brought it back to life. And she uses amazing ingredients and comes up with all these fascinating flavors, and she's all about an incredible company culture.

And how do you not work for them?

I don't know.

This is so weird. Like, I feel like I literally need to send this to them and be like, you're missing your, like, top executive right now.

They're just great. I just love. I love everything she does that.

Whoever wants to send that little clip to Jenny. I mean, I would. I would die for that.

Well, okay.

What's your favorite flavor?

Oh, I really like bramble berry crisp or salty caramel or milkiest chocolate in the world.

Oh, my God.

I know.

God.

And y', all, you can. You can order it online. It's a little expensive.

But this is not an ad, and I will tell you that we. That we just had it together. It was amazing and it was ridiculous. I was actually a little angry about it because I was. I didn't think I would like it because I'm not really that much of an ice cream person. And I was angry that I liked it so much. Do you want to know why I was angry?

Because it was good.

Yeah. And I don't want to want that ice cream all the time. And it was like. It was like brownie delight. And I don't know. Although I. I've been. Okay, I haven't been like, oh, my God, take me to Jenny's right now. Like, I'm not going to get the sweatshirt yet, but maybe soon.

Just wait.

Like, you're a fan.

I am. Like, I have a sweatshirt on right now.

It is a. She's a fan.

I'm a member of the pint club.

Like, you go in front of the ice cream and you're just like, yes, I love it.

And I. I love it.

Selfies with it.

Yes.

Yeah. I like this. You should do their social media.

I know. Maybe they could just call me.

They will.

555-5555.

That's why you take me to Jenny's.

On movies, because, well, But I can't remember.

Jennifer Lopez can't be like, here's my number. Call me. I mean, I wouldn't leave her alone. She'd be at yoga with us.

You know, I did recently watch Monster in law, which JLo stars in.

Watch that again. Did you just watch it this, like, last weekend? Like Jane Fonda.

Her laugh in that movie is incredible.

She's the best.

This is sponsored by.

Yes.

She's so. She's.

She's so wicked. It's amazing. Oh, you guys, I just think that we've given a little too much wisdom for this one. So we're going to. We're going to cut it off here so that you can not overflow.

Yeah, there's. Just take it a little bit at a time.

Because what can happen is if they listen to this too much, sometimes you can actually, like, intimidate your friends by sounding too smart. And I don't want. I don't want you to start being like, oh, blaming Lauren Evans because none of my friends like me.

But will happen.

It will. It's happened to us. It's depressing. People just leave.

I know.

And they're like. I think they're saying things like, they're way too smart. So on that note, on that note, this has been questionably awesome. And it's no longer a question, it's an answer. Oh, that's good. I love that sign off. It's no longer a question, it's an answer. Bye guys. Have a good one. Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn you your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment. Tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again guys. Bye Bye.