337: Align Your Year with Aaron Alexander

Lack of quietness, I think, like stillness. So we have so much static around us that adding a little ripple in a little pebble to try and augment things I think usually is like it just gets consumed by the, totally by the tidal wave of your previous momentum.

Welcome to the earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week, week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves, get ready to earn own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Hey everyone. Thanks so much for tuning in to another episode. I'm really excited about today's guest because this is someone who I've wanted to connect with for a while now and it's someone who has actually been in my circle of friends for quite some time. I met him a while back but have not actually gotten to sit down and really talk. And I will tell you that I learned so many new things today and I know that you are going to learn so many awesome things and I, I just love this human because whenever I can just go down the rabbit holes of life and really talk about anything that comes up right, nothing was off limits, nothing is weird, nothing is judged. It's all just a beautiful conversation about life. That's exactly who this human is. So I'm so excited to introduce you to Aaron Alexander. He is an accomplished manual therapist and movement Coach with over 13 years of professional experience. He's the founder of Align Therapy, an integrated approach to functional movement and self care that has helped thousands of people out of pain and into health. He hosts the top rated Align podcast featuring the biggest names in movement and wellness. Aaron's clients include Hollywood celebrities, Olympic professional athletes and everyone in between. He teaches worldwide and he resides in Venice.

So he lives pretty much right down.

The street from me and also you guys when he came in. So he came into my home, which is where my podcast studio is, and we did a, a one on one in person podcast and I was having a bit of a shoulder issue and I can honestly tell you that he probably alleviated about 70% of the pain that I had in my shoulder in one session. So I not only got an amazing podcast, but I also got part of my shoulder and bicep fixed. So this was, like, a really amazing day for me. So I hope that you guys not only enjoy the conversation, but also if you're really curious about exactly what he does, I hope that you go check him out. So let's get started. Aaron, I'm so excited to have you on the podcast. How are you?

I'm really well. How are you?

We're laughing because I really just surprised him with hitting record in the middle of. We were about to do laugh therapy.

That's exactly how I do my podcast, so it's perfectly convenient.

Do you surprise attack people? Sometimes you're like, I'm going to put that out into the world.

My last person was Emily Rosen. She does a thing. Do you know Emily Rosen?

I know that name.

The psychiatry of eating. She's in Boulder, Colorado, and she confirmed that I'm not into consent culture because I didn't let her know that we were recording.

And she was like, the stuff she was saying was cold.

Anyways, continue.

I've definitely done that. I'm like, well, I don't even think they'll listen to this podcast. They said it. Okay, here we go. You're in person.

It's the real thing.

I know. It's really exciting. So I'm so excited to have you here because I've been seeing all your stuff online and I think that we share just about every single mutual friend possible. And I haven't really gotten to drop in with you, but I would love for people, because I really want to know. You have this super diverse realm of everything that you do and what you're interested in. It's almost so much that I don't even know where to start. But I would love for you to share for people who don't kind of know how you got into what you're doing now and why. And what exactly is that? Because you're probably one of the most interesting people that I know.

The Dos Equis man of self care products. So similar background, I think, of starting off. We were talking a little bit before starting off. Had kind of, for whatever reasons, home reasons, whatever. I got really obsessed with bodybuilding from a young age and started packing on muscle as a means of protecting my biological home and then got really imbalanced from that. And then parts started blowing up. I started dislocating joints and injuries got worse at sports. My body just how old were you?

Were you young when that started?

Age 14 is where I Got really into bodybuilding and then parts started exploding when I was 17. Exploding meaning a lot of shoulder dislocations, ankle dislocations, Just literally the parts coming off my body.

Wow.

Which I think now I'm like, oh, it's all metaphors. The parts start coming off. And then thankfully, I ended up moving to Hawaii and kind of meeting people that were into different things, like Chinese medicine and surfing and jiu jitsu and kind of learning more about human movement.

Were you always open to that? Was that something that you were, or was it weird at first? Or were you like.

Yeah, I was fairly open. I discovered. Do you swear and talk about taboo subjects and things like that?

Yes. Good, good. Really?

So I discovered psychedelics and things like that. Kind of like a strange young age, like 13, 14 years old. So. And so I think that that kind of augmented perspective on things from the get go. And so, yeah, fairly open, but also super closed and protected and just guarded was the big thing.

And that came from your home life, I think.

So it's all stories. You don't really know. And then you repeat the story over and over again. You're like, is that just the story that I'm putting on top of it or is it.

At some point you got to just.

Remember talking about this earlier.

At some point you just got to.

Let go of the whole thing.

And that's what you were saying is words. Words can be really confusing because they have a pre definition. We have this conception of what each word is. It's a box. So if you can kind of step outside of that and just things like dance and human contact and bodywork like we're doing and just singing and all those other expressions that are kind of a little bit more true. That's kind of the stuff I started to explore when I moved to Hawaii.

Okay, so we just did kind of a mini session. So what would you call what we just did?

We just worked with unwinding some of the tissue around your diaphragm and your rib cage and started getting into starting to. You could say downregulate or calming your autonomic nervous system through physical contact. So so many of us, similar thing, like we do the talk therapies and all this stuff. We try to talk our way out of these physical, physiological.

Such a pro at that.

Yeah, me too.

Yeah.

And so essentially what we're doing is just going through and through my contact, like slow, deep pressure. Having you start to access parts of your own physiology that I describe it as like shining a flashlight on Parts that sometimes we have contraction and tension in parts of our body. And we just keep on marching through life and kind of slamming through and having a moment of someone to say, hey, did you realize this has been bracing for the last 20 years? You know, so that's what I do on a one on one, like manual therapy way is kind of just go through and shine a flashlight on parts of people's body that they've been bracing and they don't realize. And those braces, that contraction will cause your nervous system to be, you know, I describe it as like running at higher RPMs than what is actually healing for your body, you know, so as we go through and find those places that are bracing that contraction, it allows the whole global nervous system to start to calm down and go into more of like a rest, digest, heal place. So meditation is a powerful tool for that as well.

I love meditation.

It's important.

Yeah, it's just doing it right.

The idea of meditation is awesome.

You know what? I heard it rock. So going back to just when you started exploring things and you became really open to things, were you a really fast trial and error person where you're like, oh, liked it didn't. Like it didn't work. Oh, I noticed this about me. Or what were some things right away that you started doing that you. I think what I'm saying is through the physical work that you do, what was opening up for you? What were you starting to see mentally what was changing for you?

Big thing is shame. Shame is literally weight in the body. So any place in your body that you're insecure about, it's an interesting thing. If you go to Papua New guinea or something, there's a guy called Ted Decker. He grew up in Papua New Guinea. He's like the Stephen King of religious novels or something like that. He's a very interesting guy. But he was telling me about he grew up with cannibals and Papua New Guinea. I'm like, you're the most interesting person I know.

This is amazing.

Ted Decker, check him out. But with that, they grow up and they have these little. Some kind of shell something thing over their junk, over their genitals, but they're actually way more okay with exposing their cock. It's like a normal part of their culture. We in our culture, not that it's just about the cock, but we in our culture, we have these parts of our body that are okay, and then we have these other parts where it's like, oh, no. And so again, that's like a metaphor for maybe parts of your emotional self or parts of just any part of you that you're not okay with being seen with. It kind of creates these walls around it. It's that bracing and then with that bracing, it's contraction. For there to be contraction in the body, your body needs to expend energy to maintain that contraction.

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And so I think it was really valuable just to go to school and went to school for rolfing and massage therapy and different forms of hands on therapy and just being touched everywhere. It's just kind of like it's okay to be taken care of. It's okay to be there. Sometimes it's like we feel uncomfortable taking up space almost. At least that's the way I felt.

Oh, for sure. I even noticed there's so many people who have trouble just even hugging. Yeah. Like being held for longer than like a, like a pat on the back.

Yeah. It's like I'm not completely autonomous. I'm not completely. I can take care of myself. It's like, dude, the strongest thing is for you to be able to actually reach out and say, I need help.

Yeah.

But that's like, it can be a practice for people.

I think you can worry that if people see that part of you, they can think that you're weird or that you're different or that there's something wrong with you or whatever that is. So we tend to like avoid those different things. Or maybe if you haven't yet been able to explore it or put words to it, you're worried like, what is this? Like, what's gonna come up? Sometimes maybe we don't wanna see it or we don't wanna know it or we're like, did any of that happen for you when you were exploring letting go or were you just all about wanting to just feel free or what? Really?

Are you still dealing with stuff?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Cause when I see you, I just like, I literally think of you as like, he must be so free. Like that must feel. Cause all of the work that you do and all the things you do? Is it because you're seeking freedom? I mean, aren't we all?

Yeah. I mean, if you're seeking freedom, then inherently it means that you're not free. And so for me, if you would.

See me and perceive me that way.

There'S a good chance that, A, I either came from a place that was totally unfree, or B, I'm still working on it. If I'm writing a book about freedom, like we were talking about, if you're the expert on the thing, it's like, oh, this is. Because this is the thing you've struggled with throughout your life.

Now I'm the expert on it.

I'm like, oh, he's so free. I mean, his Instagram, he doesn't even hardly wear clothing. I mean, if he could wear a shell, he'd just be in a shell. So, yeah. I mean, that's amazing, though. So what's something right now that is feeling restrictive at all in your life?

Vulnerability. Yeah. So that's the big thing that I'm noticing. So I have more resources in my world than I've ever had before, which is really great. Just in every sense. Not just financially, but just all the realms. My home is safe and my work is safe, and I have this great book deal thing happening. There's a lot of good stuff happening right now. And what I'm seeing with that is it's because those resources feel more full. It feels as though. And that could be a story as well, but it feels as though I'm almost like this other underlying baggage that's now coming to the surface. You know, it's almost like sometimes if you feel completely safe or you feel like you're okay, we finally made it home from a long trip, then you.

Get sick, and your body's like, okay.

Well, now we can address this other backlog of shit. And so the thing. The backlog that I've noticed is. I mean, this is probably excessively going deep into whatever, but, like, oh, I love this.

Go ahead.

Oh, perfect. A sense of abandonment. So that happened in a. My dad got into smoking crack and he was, like, selling. He was pimping women. Super interesting.

I hear they go hanging in hand, though.

Yeah, right? They pair well together.

But. So I had never really addressed it throughout my life, and now recently, I was actually talking with Neil Strauss in a podcast, and he dissected me, which was really great.

And it's recorded, if you want to hear it.

Yeah, exactly. So he put me on the chopping.

Block and realized that I never really felt into that moment of like, I'm not. As a kid. You can't not feel like, wow, you're doing all this stuff. You're abandoning the family or whatever. You're leaving me. And so what I conceive from that is it kind of put me into this place of, like, okay, I have a fear of abandonment. So I would end up protecting myself. So I became super good at creating rapport really fast and connecting with. We can connect really quick. But then there was a layer where I would stop, stop. And now I find it really fascinating and intriguing to tell people how I feel. If I'm attracted to a person or I'm like, I think I have feelings for you. It's like, you can do with that what you wish. Whereas for the longest time, I would just shut it down and just live a very lonely life.

Yeah, screw that noise.

Oh, yeah.

I did that for life so much. I did that for a long time, too. I think that it's a safety thing. Like, well, if I don't share how I feel, then I can't be rejected. Blah, blah, blah. I like that.

And you can be in a relationship with somebody and still be lonely.

Oh, for sure.

You can have a million friends. You have a million dollars. You can have all that stuff, but you still have this core of loneliness because you haven't actually shown anybody your true self. So now all of a sudden, people are attracted to this superficial layer of you, and now that's like, oh, cool, sweet. They applaud that. So now that creates this feedback. So now. Okay, now I have to. Because if they saw the real me, they wouldn't actually love me. And so the sooner that you can. I have a friend. She's going through this thing, like how to find an alpha male or something. She's a friend that, you know, but I'm not going to mention.

I think I know who it is.

Oh, gosh.

Yeah.

That's what she was telling me about. And she's like, just all these tricks.

And you got to don't text me back for 16 hours and all this stuff. I'm just like, okay, great, that's cool. It's effective. It'll create this sense of scarcity around you, which will make them want you more, probably. And you're also playing this topical layer that now the person becomes attracted to that. So at some point, you have to spill the news that that's not you.

At some point, you have to be like, look, I'm real needy.

Yeah. So how long. The sooner than you can Just be like, here it is.

So is this locked and loaded or what? Because I got to show you the real me.

It sounds like this really great filtration.

Mechanism that we all naturally have. If you're just yourself, you'll attract people that actually resonate with you. But most of us, we fear that, because if you actually express yourself and someone doesn't like that, it means they don't like the real you. That's way more painful than they don't like the superficial bullshit version that you show.

Oh, man. I had a moment of this where it wasn't. It's not like sometimes we're even intentionally creating a facade around who you are, but I had a moment the other day because I've been in this mode of just, like, not wanting to do anything lately. Like, really, Like, I've been wanting to just, like, deep, deeply chill. Like, knit blankets type of chill.

It's winter.

But it's true. Like, definitely. I've just been, like, wanting to not output a lot of energy at all, even in, like, talking or relationships. Like, nothing. So outside of, like, my podcast, which still feels good and things like that, but outside of that, I've been like, okay, let's do a couple hours of work a day and let's chill. That's just where I'm at. But I had this moment where I was like, who can I call that I can just not do anything with or talk to or just be, or be so goofy or moronic and weird. And my list was super small. And it's not because they wouldn't accept that in me. It's because I felt like I had an expectation to need to be. Like, create a space for them or do something interesting. And I can see myself doing that. Needing to be someone for the relationships that I've created. Yet I don't. But that's what I observed.

Yeah, it's like the caretaker archetype, which I don't think is actually one of Joe Campbell's archetypes. It might be. It sounds like it would be good. Let's make it up. Yeah, whatever. So, me, I pursued a path of educating people on how to take care of themselves, self care and manual therapy and movement coaching and all that. It's like, my purpose here is to help you feel well.

Right.

You know? But that's also a topical layer. It's like, you love me because I empower you.

You fixed my arm, so you can only ever fix my. You can only ever fix me when you see me now. Like, you can't just be. I'm just kidding.

No, that's a real thing.

And so it's easy. So culturally, we applaud people that have a lot of money. We applaud people that are able to fix my arm. We applaud people that are able to the thing. But even still, there's this kind of cap on that where it's like you can feel like I'm obligated to show up in this way and support you. But it's like the shoemaker with no shoes kind of thing. It's like for that person, so many people, and I know because I get to work with them, that are these leading authorities on helping empower people and all that stuff. They don't actually know how to take care of themselves. They've drilled in so good at taking care of everybody else. But then when you really get into a lot of their stuff, they're like, oh, I never have really actually allowed anybody in to just take care of me. So that's like a deep practice. Oh, my God, I'm sorting that shit out.

Yeah, so that's what I wanted. So these are my favorite things is to talk about what's in the moment right now for you because you do have some really awesome stuff that I know you've kind of been working on and manifesting in your life that's like feeling really great for you right now. So what you were saying is that was kind of. And maybe I'm translating it wrong or maybe not, but what is it? Is that revealing on the other side? Some of the other stuff is that you were saying that you're kind of dealing with or that you are. That you want to work through when things.

No, it's just creating. It's almost like a lattice or like a scaffolding. As you're building a building, you build the scaffolding up and then you can raise taller. So I think that to me, some of these maybe superficial indicators even health and home. It's like Maslow's hierarchy kind of thing. You first figure out your base level needs, and then from there, the very top of the pyramid is self actualization. But first you need to figure out you got to get your car registered and you got to get good food in the fridge and you got to have good support group. And so, yeah, it just feels as though I have been filling in some of those lower portions of the pyramid. And I think for the first time literally in my life, I'm starting to see what I conceive as being self actualization. Whereas for the longest time it was just treading upstream. I had this visual sensation of every day. It felt as though I was pushing a rock up a hill.

You just said that today.

And then I go to sleep and the rock rolls back and there was a little bit of progress, you know, like roll. It catches a divot and like, oh cool. Sweet. I moved it like a foot.

I spent the whole day moving it.

300Ft and then it moved back to I got a foot. Okay, it's something. And whatever the switch has been, it feels as though it's like, okay. It seems like when I go to sleep the rock still moves and there's still a bunch of crap that we'll be working on, but it's been a long journey.

There are so many challenges to business that I don't want starting to be one of them for you.

And when you want more.

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Let's talk about the boulder for one minute, because we've all got the boulder. Like, everybody literally was. Was probably just like, yes, we all have the boulder. So there's so much talk now about flow and don't make it so hard, and we're making it so much harder. But don't you think we actually have to go through that to find the foundation of what that even means to us, like flow or following the energy of what actually works for us? Do you know what I'm saying?

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I mean, it's like when you look back at anything, everything makes sense. So it's being, I don't know, wise enough or something to realize just you just look at the pattern.

If I look back any time in.

History, I'm like, oh, it all makes sense.

Yes.

But meanwhile, present, you're like, oh, it's terrible.

It makes no sense.

It doesn't make any sense.

This shouldn't be happening to me.

So I think to me, that provides a lot of satisfaction or gratification or safety or something. It's like, okay, from the patterns, from history, everything I look back on, all those terrible situations have formed me to where I'm at now. So it's kind of like a hormetic stressor. You go into the gym, you work out, it might feel painful at the time, but then you're able to grow from that. But that's all stuff that people understand, I think. But I think that that's the thing is just looking at my history and seeing everything, all the hard stuff has really been the most valuable things. So. So if I'm able to kind of ameliorate that moment of wigging out, because so far, it's worked out. So that's kind of like an anchor for me. Because pain's funny. What the hell is pain?

Yeah, what is it? What do you think it is?

It could be a sensation of resistance to what is. Whatever. The thing is, if I feel like I need to get away from it, then our body will clamp down and contract. And you could describe it from more of a scientific kind of way and say it's like the tissue is contracting around the sensory nerve endings which is creating the stimulus up to your brain to say there's an emergency. You could say it's an emotional thing. You could go to a vipassana and say it's a samskara, which is like. That's that resistance inside of you. Have you ever done any extended meditations?

I have. I don't know the names of them, but I've done like.

Yeah, I recently did a vipassana where it's like a 10 day. You just sit down.

Oh, not that. No, no, no. Haven't done that.

Yeah. So you get from 4:30 in the morning you just sit there all day?

Yes.

That's all you do. And you eat and you don't stare, you don't look at each other. It's all. They call it noble silence. And what they teach in that is that when you are having any type of sensation of pain, it's just some resistance in your nervous system. And you're like a deep emotional body coming up and saying, run, get out of here. And so when you sit, if you can actually sit through that, what I found, I mean, there's some crazy shit which totally changes my whole perception of what pain is literally felt. I'm like borderline crazy person, but I'm fairly not completely out there. Patch pants, dreadlock.

Well, I feel like as long as you're aware of it, it's not super crazy.

Okay, but what I'm saying is, what I'm about to say is, as I was in there, I could feel, there was moments where it literally felt like this pain sensation. Like hot, fiery, searing pain. It would move because I sat with it for 25 minutes or something like that.

I'm just like, oh, my legs gonna. I feel I'm hurting myself.

And then all of a sudden the pain, as though it was like a tangible orb, it went, it moved and it goes out of my hip and then like up my spine and then, and then over to my shoulder.

Wow.

And it was like. It was as though this thing in my body, this sensation of retreat or whatever it's like it's trying to work its way out. And it was in the hip, and I call it hip pain or whatever. And then if I sat with it long enough, it felt like, okay, cool, it's starting to move, but it wants to go. But we just need to give it the spaciousness to go. But most of us, our environment forms us into a position that's collapsed and contracted. So when we're sitting in hunched over positions in chairs, for example, this gets into more things that I actually have some sense of researching and getting into. When we're hunched over in those chairs, that literally is all tied into our physiology. So if you're hunched over this position, you're looking into your phone. If you were to look somebody in that position and you didn't realize they were looking at their phone, you'd think they were sad. So your physiology is all tied into that. So there's studies done in Harvard, amongst other places, where they did saliva samples with people just after two minutes of being hunched over into that position, just standard, typical, looking at my phone or driving in my car, or sitting in the plane, literally your stress hormones end up increasing, so cortisol is one they measured. And then testosterone levels decrease, which is good cognitive function and making you feel alive, strong. And then the inverse happens when you go into that upright position. But the mold that we live in literally forms us into a collapsed, depressed position. And so we're literally used the analogy of it felt like I was kind of going upriver. We're literally going upriver in the environment that we live in. So we need to be smart enough to start to kind of go in and say, okay, the modern mold, obviously it appears as though people are getting fatter, they're getting sicker, they're getting. United States use more anti anxiety and antidepressants than anywhere in the world. So something is happening that we're going in this direction. Seems like it's almost like we're being pressed into it, like the mold's shifting us. So we need to be smart enough to start to rewire the way that we inhabit the mold. And that creates spaciousness in the body, which creates spaciousness in the mind. Because we're always communicating via body language. It's like 55% of our communication is body language.

Oh, I for sure feel that. Especially I think, once you're aware of it too. And when you meet people, I think can. It's almost like it's not a bad thing, but sometimes it's challenging because when you meet people like right away, if they're super closed off, I'm like, eh, I'm not even gonna go over there.

Yeah, right.

Because it just. And it's probably literally my body saying, don't go over there. Cause they're super closed off. Because you can see it. You know, it's just like either crossed arms or they're hunched over or they don't look confident or. And then it's funny, you can kind of watch rooms like the same people. We find our level of confidence even because you can read the body language so interesting.

Yeah. So if you can start to take control of what are these signals? So the specific. There's a guy called Albert Moravian. I think he was in Harvard as well. It was like in the 60s, did a thing where he determined that 55% of our communication was via body language. This doesn't need to be exactly accurate, but this is what they came up with. 38% was via tonality. So if all of a sudden I start talking higher and I get a.

Little bit faster, you're like, who the hell. Whatever he's saying, I'm not into it.

You're.

He doesn't trust himself, he doesn't feel confident, he doesn't believe himself. So I'm not going to believe it. And then he said 7% was the actual words that we're saying to each other.

Totally.

But if all of a sudden my hips shift towards the door right now as we're talking, or I kind of say something, but I nod my head or I collapse my shoulders or I cross my arms, that's what you're actually listening to. But we never get any education around that, that we're learning arithmetic and we're learning whatever grammar, but we don't actually get any education of grammar aside. You're communicating with your body. So if you can start to create a little bit of awareness of that, you just without a doubt become a better communicator. But then if you can shift your environment, that your environment actually forms you into a better communicator. Because as you're driving in the car, maybe say you put a water bottle or something like a pillow behind your spine so you're more upright as you're driving, as you're at your house, you spend more time on the floor. So now you're mobilizing your hips and you're opening up the hamstrings and you're practicing getting all the way down and up, which protects you from fall risk. That's the number one leading cause of Elderly needing to go to assisted living because we just literally this position. So right now I'm sitting on the chair as though I'm on the floor. But that position, that bottom, three and a half, four feet, range of motion is gone.

Like modern culture, we just. Nope, we don't do that.

Yeah, don't need it after. It's, like, not expected. Don't do that. You'll get hurt.

You'll blow out your knee.

Don't bend over.

Okay.

So it's so true. So it really is.

And then you lose it. So it creates a gap every day that you step away from that thing. It's like an old friend.

Yeah, that's how we went to the bathroom. Right?

Like, that's how you stay in the bathroom. Yeah, yeah. The rectum. Actually, there's a muscle claw. No need to get into this.

But we're talking about rectums today on the Earth Happy podcast.

So there's literally a muscle that actually wraps around the front of the rectum, and as you are standing, it kind of puts tension on that. And so as you come down, it releases that muscle and allows the rectum to actually elongate so you can defecate. So I think it's called the puborectal angle, something like that.

I don't know how you know that.

And so as you go into a.

Squat position, you're literally starting to elongate. Elongate, elongate, elongate, and finally open up your rectum to allow poo come out.

That's why yoga can be a scary place if you have a stomachache.

Yeah, exactly. Totally.

No, it's a big deal. But all these systems, this is what we evolve from.

Yeah.

Like, this is what makes us.

And we remove them. And then we wonder why we're like.

And then we wonder why we're sick.

Yeah.

So as you're going through that range of motion, it's the foundation of your humanity. Our brains. There's a sea squirt. When they are whatever you call baby sea squirt. I don't know.

I really don't know what you're talking about right now, but I'm excited to learn.

Hear me out.

This is interesting.

So sea squirts, where they're baby sea squirts.

They have really similar nervous systems to us, and they have the brain and they got the spinal cord and the whole thing.

A baby sea squirt.

Yeah.

What is that?

It's just like a little sea creature cruising around.

You're not talking about a seahorse.

Nope. I was like, look it up. C square. This is legit.

I will look it up after this.

Science. So the C square. So it cruises around and so it has a brain.

It has a nervous system just like human beings. It's actually really similar to human beings in a strange way. And then so it's cruising around, it finally finds a place to eventually to attach to. And then once it attaches, it stops moving. Once it stops moving, it literally digests its own brain because it doesn't need it as much anymore because it's not moving anymore. So the brain's a really expensive organ to operate. I forget what percentage of our calories it takes, but it's a lot. Like a high percentage. Our brain is. But it's. To move our bodies.

Yeah. Does that happen to us?

I mean, I don't know. I think so.

I mean, we don't eat our brains, but do they get like. Do we lose some of our stuff? Don't you think, if we don't move?

Walking is huge on consolidating memories.

It's huge.

Huge on creativity. Most of the most creative people in history, they're like, yeah, take a walk and have a little journal. Write my ideas out.

So I have.

I'm sure you're the same.

I walk, like, almost. We walk three or six miles a day because we just walk, walk, walk, walk, walk. Like I'm a walker.

Yeah, right.

Because it's so affected. Like, my brain is so connected to. We are. It's me. Just me. It's everyone.

No, it's everybody. Yeah. If you're a human, it's going to be beneficial for you. And as you're doing that again, getting back to the evolutionary part, that's. That's massaging your organs, Right. It's assisting in peristalsis and that undulation of your intestines to move food through your system. Walking does that. It's opening up your hips, it's activating your glutes, it's stimulating that. Activating that pelvic floor. It's integrating the hemispheres of the brain. If you take that away, the body gets sick.

Totally.

And our world, what we've done is we've done just this beautiful job of making things easier, more efficient. So we flatten everything out. So now I don't need to move around on contours. I don't need to take my ankles through range of motion. I don't have to really work. I just kind of stumble along and I get to where I need to.

Be at and we wear sketches on.

Sidewalks or sketches on sidewalks or high heels or what have you. We've done such a great job of. Of making things easy that now we've actually made things a lot harder. And now we need to figure out a way to add on this supplement of movement. So now I get a gym membership and I get a Taebo. Whatever. I get the DVD thing and I'm in my flat house inside the walls.

With artificial lights, kicking the air, trying.

To replicate what I would just naturally do if I take my goddamn shoes off and go for a walk in some grass.

I am in a fight with a tiger right now, getting all worked up.

Sorry.

So how are you? How do you feel about that with the beliefs? How do you. Because I feel like, so for the work that you do, you have to work with somewhat open people because you get in there. So how do you work with the beliefs around? Man, what people have come to believe in the world.

I only get in there as much as someone wants to entertain. So that's a big thing. So you're familiar with neuro linguistic programming and all that Tony Robbins stuff. So as we're communicating with each other, we want to. You want to kind of like. You can model each other or start off almost like mirroring each other. And from that, if I'm way too like, okay.

I'm like super animated movement guy. You're like, okay, I hate that guy. He's way too different. He's a threat to the tribe.

Yes, exactly. Cannot be trusted.

Yeah, Cannot be trusted. Trusted.

He's different. So starting off just meeting people exactly where they're at, which. That's like, that's huge. There could be a whole book on that.

Oh, my God. That could be a whole. I'm like, we could just take the podcast. There it is. The rest of the time.

Yeah.

Meeting people completely where they're at. Meeting people without any judgment because I have so much bullshit myself. So for me to pass judgment on anybody else, I'm just like, all right, well, now I'm an asshole until you're flawlessly immaculate, which is never going to happen. It's nonsense to pass judgment on anybody else. There's a quote from somebody who said, be kind to everyone for they're fighting a great battle inside. And I'm like, oh, yeah, that's definitely, definitely me.

Yeah, that's been really, like. That's been huge for. Well, it's been huge for Chris and I lately, just whenever it comes up, because it's not. Judgment is actually like your own it creates your own really fast way into a personal prison. Like, I'm never happy when I'm judging someone.

You're judging yourself.

Yeah, exactly. And it's like, literally I feel it in my life. And every time I judge someone, I find it makes me shrink because I'm like, oh, other users, subconsciously, other people will be judging me.

Judging is great, though, because when you judge, it's almost like a yoga teacher once it said, never waste a trigger. And I was like, oh, usually I.

Don'T get a lot from the yoga when they go to the spiritual rants, but I'm like, that was legit.

That is really.

Okay, so when you have a trigger, go there.

Yeah.

So when you have a trigger, there's something, if it's truly a trigger, if it's truly something that's like, oh, it makes me angry. Yeah, it's like, oh, okay, great. Well, then this is actually deeply embedded inside of you. If something's neutral and someone says, oh, I think you're fat. If you call me fat, I'd be like, I don't care. There's no charge there, right? Yeah. But if you called me, I don't know, I don't want to lay my weaknesses down on the table.

I'll let you slowly divulge. But call me a thing that I'm actually insecure. I don't actually.

Whatever. But then I'm like, oh, that stirs you up. And so there it's like, okay, most of us, what we prefer to do is we'd say, okay, cover that up. More bench press, more pushups, more green.

Juice, more money, more power, more superficial.

Relationships, more house, more, I need a fancier car, I need to wash the car, I need to get rid of.

These clothes, whatever it may be.

Instead we can say, oh, what if I just sat with that, that Byron Katie, she mentioned a thing about. She said, if you have a question, sit in silence and wait for the answer. And that's like, we're just never taught that. We're like active go getter. If you're not a go getter, you're a lazy piece of trash. So we miss out on that whole thing of. What about just stillness? It's really important. I'm like, that to me, might be. Yeah, that's like a big work for me.

Yeah. Oh, it's bringing me back to your talking about your meditation and just. That's so that's. I was going to ask you about, like, the pain you felt, what it, what came from it. Do you know what it was. Did it tell you what it was? Was it pain in the meditation, when you felt the pain like the fire?

Yeah. I don't know if it was around at all. No, I didn't. I know at the end I was, like, crying in the desert. It was pretty cool. I was like, yeah, I think it just stirred. And then afterwards, I felt almost a little crazy for a little while after that. You get off of the teat. Like a technological Instagram.

It was 10 days, right?

Which isn't even that much time in the grand scheme of things. But to take yourself off of the validation teat for 10 days and not be able to reach out to something. Every time I feel a thing come up, I feel lonely. I feel. Whatever. I'll reach out and then, like somebody like you where you have an inbox right now, you could look at your direct messages and you'd have at least four people saying they think you're awesome. That can be a really slippery slope to be on. Because now all of a sudden, I look out and I get that little dopamine.

Ooh.

Oh, yeah. I literally observe it every day. I'll observe when I'm like. I'll feel my hand. It's like, I won't even know I'm doing it. And I'll feel my hand and be like, you literally just. Just grab for your phone for like a. I'm bored, or what I'm watching isn't enough, or this is a boring part of the book. I'm like, you're reading right now. You don't need to look at your. That's crazy. When you acknowledge that.

So if we have the courage to actually sit with that, which. I'm still sorting mine out, but I know that every time I do, I get the most value. Because when you have that moment of, okay, I know there's. There's no value in me reaching for my EMF machine, Blue light machine and all that stuff. EMF being electromagnetic frequencies. It's not good for you. Whatever. There's nothing serving me from that, but I'm still reaching out. I'm reaching out for food. I'm reaching out for the booty call of the person that's actually toxic for me. Fill in the blank. If you are able to, like, okay, cool, there's the trigger. So I think that. That from Byron, Katie, or a lot of smart introspective type people. It's like, sit with that and you'll get some serious answers if you're courageous enough to do it. But I Think really very few people are.

Do you think that requires. Well, I think. Okay, I just answered this in my head, but I want to know your answer. Did you see the thought bubble? I saw it. It was chaotic. Do you think that you have to create space for that, though? Because so many people, we just fill it with. We say we're busy or we have work or we go out, or do you almost need to. Are you clearing some space for work like that? Do you know what I mean? Making some space in your day.

Yeah. I think also having things you actually value in your life, it's being so. With that space. What I've done a lot is I've replaced one addiction with another thing. And it's really easy for me to be all high and mighty because I don't to want, like, smoke meth or something. Right. Or whatever you do with meth.

I think you. I don't. I actually don't know. I think you do smoke it. Okay.

You smoke it too, probably.

I. I don't know.

I don't know. For the podcast, we'll do some research, come back.

Find out.

By the time we get to my podcast, we'll know about Matthews and we'll do a brief.

You can't leave them hanging.

A brief break. I don't know what I was talking about.

Oh, like you've replaced one habit with another.

Oh, man.

I do it all the time, but it's not Matthew.

We all do that. Yeah.

And so I think within that, it's like, okay, again, it's like, look at the history. All right, I get that. A thing that I'll do is I'll emotionally eat, and I'll eat it. Feels good to chew. It's also like a visceral thing, which is kind of like a sexual thing. It's like a part of your deep visceral. So that's something I'll notice myself. I'm like, oh, I'm chewing. I'm like, reaching out for the bag. Wow. I didn't even notice the bag is here. I subconsciously just levitated the bag in front of my face. They're like, oh, there it is. I guess I'll have to eat the whole thing.

That happens to me all the time.

God brought it here. I don't want to offend God.

It's true.

And so I'm like, okay, cool.

So I'll replace that with something else. So I think that we need to actively replace it with things that are actually support our lives. So you can get an exercise habit or you can get a walking on the beach habit. I think having anchors are really valuable in your day. So every day, no matter what, I will fill in the blank thing. For me, I like exercise every day. It's just a non negotiable. At some point I'm going to be doing something like that. I'll go to yoga, I'll go to the beach, I'll do acro stuff. But something that's valuable for me is I'll go watch the sunset at Santa Monica Pier at old original Muscle Beach. I'll do that almost every day. And so to me, something like that, it creates an anchor of no matter what. I went and I had this epic sunset. Whereas I think it's really easy for us to each day to just become almost matted on top of the last kind of like connective tissue in your body. Actually, if you don't move it, I think they're the same thing. So each day they'll become matted on top of each other. And eventually you just feel so thick and stuck and glued inside of yourself because you didn't really address. I think journaling is a powerful thing too, to really address. What did I do today? What would make today great at the end of the day, what happened? What could I have done better to actually look and say, okay, what is the position of my joints, of my hips? What's the range of motion of my fill in the blank thing? If you become accountable with that each day, eventually those layers start to peel back. But I think having those anchor points are really super, super valuable for me.

I think I love that because I feel the same way. And that brings me into a question because it's like replacing addictions. We just replace addictions with addictions. But as important as stillness and being is and observing and really needing to be still to just really hear answers, I also believe it's equally important to have to move and have those super healthy addictions. Do you think we're meant to always be doing? But what's the balance in that? You know what I'm saying? Because it's easy to be like, oh, doing feels good. Doing is good. For me, doing these anchors are great. And all of a sudden you have all of these anchors that can actually be stressful.

Yeah. I've been thinking about this thing. Hopefully it's not too out there for this. But it feels to me like if you don't have enough stillness in your life, then it's easy for. I almost think it was like two balloons. There's like the external world, for most of us, it's super powerful, high pressure, it forms us. So we're just kind of thrown to the woo because we don't have enough of that stillness inside and that self worth or that just comfort being in your own skin. I think something like meditation is really helpful for that. But there's a lot of different forms of that. But for most of us, the outside energy is so potent that it just forms us into whatever. But I think that through a practice, for example, like a meditation, it almost starts to fill that internal balloon so you can start to shape the superficial world around you. And so you can see that with certain people that are like, visionary, where it's like, oh, you're like this. Where it's like, oh, she's got a big old world inside of her, right? And so the way that we cultivate that is, I think through all the things that we're kind of talking about, like having those anchor points and having those stillnesses and that. And then from there, once you have that and you can really visualize, be a visionary and form the world around you, now go into action. But you were quiet enough to actually hear the whispers of what you really. What's the best for you. That's that self actualization thing. I think, like we get these whispers all the time, right? And I'm only really starting to. And it could be just, you know, whatever, it could be crazy voices or whatever, but I'm only starting to really hear these whispers. I think in like the last year, probably, you know, it's like, okay, I think you should. It could be as simple as, like, you need to go to that dinner party, you need to call that person right now. We grow up hearing that. If you hear voices in your head, you're a crazy person. And I think that we should embrace those voices because as we start to, you start to really. I think that's real, true guidance.

I think that's so important for people to hear. I think, especially from a male, that you hear that too. Because I think in. I think so many women who listen to this always struggle with thinking that they're experiencing this and they want their spouse to experience it or that they don't experience it. Do you know what I'm saying? They don't feel like maybe their spouse believes how they're feeling. I know that so many women who listen to the podcast are into the work and they don't feel like their significant other is necessarily like on the path with them. So I would say what would you say to a woman who wants her significant other to go on somewhat of a journey like that, where they also want their person to be in touch, like, and self aware. But it's, you know, how do you bring that into their world?

Hmm. I mean, the easiest answer would go to a freaking vipassana.

Yeah. They're like, that's probably not gonna happen.

Yeah. Right? Yeah.

I mean, honestly, I think something like that is because. Because we are so thickly entrenched in all these little micro addictions that we don't see as being too big of a deal. But a person, if the question was reframed to I have a friend or brother, whatever that is a drug addict, what can I do? Should I get him? Maybe I will get him chocolate or something. Or get him something that is healthy replacement or whatever they are addicted to fucking drugs.

Yes.

Having like a strong pattern interrupt, you know, so maybe we do a trip somewhere far away.

Yeah.

You know, we just have a strong pattern interrupt.

Yes.

You know, because we. We do all these different things and I think it's really valuable. You know, I could list a million different things I think are valuable to like, change your home and stuff like that. But I think we need something bigger than that for most people.

Yeah.

You know, you need a big old rock like, whoa, that's some real ripples. Most of us, we have so much static because the lack of quietness or whatever not or whatever lack of quietness. I think like stillness. So we have so much static around us that adding a little ripple in a little pebble to try and augment things, I think usually is like it just gets consumed by the tidal wave of your previous momentum.

That happens in my life all the time. But I love that you said the pattern interrupt because that's what happened with. That's what I actually did to Chris.

Oh, good.

We're going on this surf retreat and it was totally like a ecstatic dancing, yoga, howling at the moon.

You got him lots of naked chicks and waves. It's gonna be awesome.

She was like, yeah, let's go.

And literally the first night, he was like, I'm going home. This is not for me. Yeah. And it was just like the biggest. I can't even tell you, but it was. It was seven days of. I mean, massive immersion. So far outside of. I was uncomfortable and I'd been to things like that, you know what I mean? And he was a different person from then on. It didn't go backward, it only went forward. And it was because you fool him.

Yeah.

No.

Well, so with that. So I'll do. So one of my tricks is I will flip people upside down. I do acroyoga, like therapeutic stuff and. And other versions of it. But you can flip somebody upside down and you have them hanging literally from your feet, from your hips, and you can start working with their spine and their diaphragm and shoulders, and you do bodywork with them, but they're in a totally different state. Whereas when I'm standing on my feet or even I'm laying down, I've done that millions of times. And so I'm in control of that. But if I flip you upside down and. And now all of a sudden, you just have to completely trust me because you're so disoriented, you have no idea what's going on. Now we can start to actually have a conversation because before you had so many layers of BS of previous stuff that I'm just like, ugh, hacking away. I'm just so tiring. But if you can put yourself in that brand new situation and even with a partner, you guys can grow together. Because it's like all of a sudden, I'm sure he. With you as well, he saw different sides of you that he never saw saw before.

Totally.

Because it was different for both of you. So now. Oh, wow, cool. It's almost. People are all a lot of my friends or whatever, enamored with polyamory and open relationships and all that stuff. I get that. And I think that if you are putting each other into various situations where you're actually exposing different sides of you, each person. We all have, I think, kind of like. Like we all have everybody inside of us. We all have a little bit of Obama and a little bit of Hitler and a little bit of like, you know, all the personalities. If someone's sensing something in the world, I think that you have that experience in yourself.

Right.

You know, and so if you go into those situations and you see, wow, that's a whole new side of Laurie. It's like, oh, it's almost like I have another partner.

We talk about that all the time, actually. Because there's like an old book, it's called Cheating on youn Husband with youh Husband. And it's about putting. Getting in like a different situation so you get a different person. And I love what just getting people in different environments and doing different things about how you do acro. I freaking love that. Because it's a little bit like we forget that you are a different person in a different situation. You don't get to be what you're used to being. Cause it's no longer easy to be that. It's no longer like it can't serve you in that situation at all. You actually have to become someone different to be able to go through this situation.

And it teaches you that you can become someone different on a dime, you know, so that's. A lot of people have a fear of traveling, you know, because, like, oh, I'm gonna get. You know, I did like a. It was like a seven month long motorcycle trip where I went through like Mexico and Central America and just like living in a hammock and just random. Just randomness.

I mean, awesome. For you, probably not for. No, I'm just kidding.

It was good. No, it was good. Yeah. Well, my mom.

You bring out a lot in me.

Yeah, right.

But the funny thing with that is every new state or country that I would go into, I'd ask people because I was like, scared of stuff because I grew up like an American white kid. That's just like, I'm scared of.

It's just the way it is. We're taught to be afraid of everything. And so I'd ask people and I.

Was like, oh, shit, everybody else is afraid of everything else as well. I go into each state, like in Mexico, for example, and they'd be like, oh, wow, you're going to Jalisco or whatever. I don't know, I'm just making up names.

You're going to there?

Oh, man, they're going to. They'll likely kill you.

I'm like, oh, good. Well, I'm going there tomorrow, so I hope it works out. And then I get into it, that place, and they're like, oh, man, you came from there.

I'm surprised they didn't kill you.

And I'm like, no, they were incredibly friendly, actually. They invited me to their house and we had biscuits. They were amazing. Every person, amazing. And that's like, okay, once again, I'm seeing this trend.

Every new state, new country, whatever I go into, 99.9% of people are amazing. And then there's. With anything, there's funny situations that you can. If you're sensitive, hopefully you avoid that. But like, the world is kind.

Yeah, I think of that all the time. Because we live in la.

Yeah.

And when people are like, oh, don't go there right now, it's terrible. I'm like, you live in la, right? Like, did you.

Yeah.

Did you forget that you are like thriving in la? You'll be fine. Yeah, it's okay.

Yeah. So as you. But as you go in there, so you learn from that history, but you need to learn from your history. If your history is just your backyard, then you'll start to close in on yourself. The human organism, from my perception, feeds on adaptation. And so as long as you're stuck within the confines of your fence, it's literally like you're tying a noose around yourself and it just gets tighter and tighter and tighter and tighter and then eventually whatever that was your life. But every time it's like medicine, literally medicine. Every time you go out and you realize, wow, people are actually loving and caring and have the same vulnerabilities and insecurities that I do. Every time you do that, not only do you realize the world's much more safe, but you realize that, oh shit, I kind of am the world and I feel more safe inside myself. If I feel safe on the globe, then I start to feel safe inside my skin.

I actually have to book trips and things that really stretch me like that to feel safe. Otherwise, I know that I have the. My default is to start to get anxious quickly if I don't continue to get out in the world. So for me it's built in for my own happiness and remembrance that the world is good and people are good because I have to go get in it in order to remember that. So it's built into my. What are you doing this year to expand. How many places are you going? What are you gonna do so that you go and get aware of that.

And you can get lost in the whole turmoil of going out in order to go in?

That's true.

Yeah. I'm getting way too metaphorical with all this stuff, but I think that that's something I've realized as well. I've done a bun of for a while. I would leave for a winter, I'd buy a one way ticket to fill in the blank place in the world and just kind of explore for five months or something. And in those timeframes, one thing I went through a lot of was loneliness. That's been a recurring thing. And with that though, it felt something that I learned was that you're always traveling. So if someone's listening to this and you're like, okay, cool, that's great. I love the idea of flying to Bangkok, but that's like a thousand dollar ticket. And then I got to fig. I got a job, I got to pay rent. It's like. But the reality is you're like, do you know Joseph Campbell, the whole hero, a thousand Faces, all that stuff.

I haven't read the whole thing, but it's great.

So he talks about the hero's journey, and we're all on this hero's journey, every one of us. And one thing he talks about in that is that you start off in what you conceive is the ordinary world. And the ordinary world is the place that you conceive to be normal. Normal. But the reality, every ordinary world, is totally weird. And that's why we travel, is we go out to see new things and new cultures and all that. And then you come back and you're like, oh, I kind of get it. When I go back home, probably. When you go back home to. Where did you say you grew up?

Upper Michigan.

Yeah. When you go back home to Upper Michigan, you have to see it from a completely different band.

Oh, my God, it's insane. Yeah. Every year is different. Isn't that interesting?

Yeah.

Yeah. It's like reading a book. You really can pretty much read one book if it's a good one, and that could be your book because every time you go out and you explore the world, you come back, you're a different person. You reread that book, you're like, oh, wow. I never even so much in here. I didn't even notice because I didn't have the lens to see it. Yeah.

The Cat in the Hat is mind blowing. It actually could be.

Cartoon stuffs are awesome because they can wrap in all these. These messages that the dense books are. You're just not going to read it. But if you can consolidate something, that's like true genius.

Yeah. If you ever go back and watch Disney movies and you are like, what?

How did I not?

This is amazing.

A high percentage of them were also tripping on psychedelics as well. Yeah, absolutely.

For sure. When you actually go back and you're like, wow, how did they let that in there? That's crazy.

Well, if you're like an adult man.

And you're like, you know, like your.

Passion has been creating animated fictional worlds.

Like, of course, of course.

Of course.

Would you expect him.

Of course he found psychedelics at 14.

Of course you do. Like, what else would you expect from that? He's not an accountant. Jesus.

And thank you for those minds because they have blessed my life.

Yeah.

They have absolutely blessed my childhood. So.

Well, the musician and the jester and all that, like, they're. They're so important for us. There's a reason that we pay those people a lot of money, because they really are. It allows us to Shine a different light, a different vantage point to give those people the freedom to look at the world from just different lenses. Because I'm so focused on the one lens that I have because I got to pay rent, I got to sort my shit out. But to have somebody else, it's like here, let's just culturally, let's invest in you to just be the jester and look at the world from all these different lenses and see how ridiculous all this really is. Shit is ridiculous.

There's nothing that's not ridiculous.

Yeah. So you're technically. Whenever we're wanting something new in our life or we're like, even that's so interesting. We're always just paying for someone's lenses.

That's what we're doing right now. Yeah, we're just sharing lenses. I'm putting your glasses on, you're putting mine on.

I love different lenses, they're so good. So what's most exciting for you now? Because I've been like, I feel like I could talk to you for hours, but a lot of time has gone by.

Yeah. So I'm doing a book right now, which is exciting, but that's not going to be out for another probably 13 months.

Okay, but real quick, what is it about?

So it's kind of about how our world forms us. Kind of things that we're talking about how our physical world and also emotional world, cultural, all that stuff literally forms your bones, forms your connective tissue, forms your posture and then so that's like a huge part of it. And then also how you can start to integrate basic simple fundamentals into your day to day, to really be physically empowered. And all that stems into everything else, like your physical body and your emotional body and all the different, whatever bodies you'd want. I think it's all just one body. We dissect it to educate and learn and write books about it. But in reality it's all applied together. Your body doesn't know. When you think of the body as the two dimensional maps and bicep brachialis connects to anterior blah, blah. Your body's like, dude, I don't know what you're talking about.

I'm glad this is working out for you. You feel like you understand, but we're just one body.

Yeah.

So it kind of gets into also how music affects us and how looking out into the distance and looking up close, those are ranges of motions called the ciliary muscles in your eyes. Everything that you're doing throughout the day is some form of movement and you can Start to be a bit more empowered.

That's awesome. I'm excited for that. How's that process going?

Oh, it's cool. So I have a co writer, which is exciting. And so we have accountability. Okay. Which is really important. So that's a huge deal. And the co writer's awesome. He's written with Laird Hamilton, and I'll let you know, Kelly Starrett. He's in that world. He's a big deal, self care, movement, all that stuff. So that's really fun. And we're launching an online program, the Align Method program, which focuses specifically on unwinding patterns of being hunched over, looking at phones and offices and staring at screens. It's all one pattern of collapse. If you collapse at any level in the body, then that collapse, it spins out into the next, into the next, into the next. And so if we can start to unwind some of those basic patterns, the whole body starts to literally heal itself.

That's awesome. So it's the new year. So what do you want to stop? What's one thing you want to stop in the new?

Okay, I think something that's big for me is really just honing in focus on everything. So any superfluous nonsense that kind of just weighs me down. So social media is a thing. A lot of it's just nonsense. Any type of unnecessary eating that's just like. Again, it's like I'm just eating to move my face.

Yeah. I'm so good at that, though. Look how good my face moves.

And as I do that.

And then also along with that, something I've been pondering on is having enough compassion for myself to say, like, it's okay. It's okay to want to move your face.

That one.

It's okay to reach out for your phone because you actually maybe want to hug or you actually something deeper than just the cell phone stimulation. It's okay, buddy.

It's all right.

Because then we end up doing that double bind thing where now we're all pissed off at ourself because we're doing the food and doing the cell phone. And now I'm like, ugh. Now I'm even more contracted. So I think along with that, compassion. So it's focus and compassion, I would say.

Oh, I love that. So what do you want to start? Is there something that you haven't done yet that you want to begin doing?

Well, so for one thing, I see life and such holidays always weird me out because my days without the holidays day, I think are quite great.

Throughout the day, I Love my day.

I love doing this with you. After this, I'm meeting up with Chris Ryan, who's fucking amazing, wrote Sex at Dawn, and we're going to talk about other interesting stuff. And then I'm probably going to go to the beach and pick people up over my head and then maybe I'll go to yoga tonight and then after that come back and write.

I'm like, yes. And then the holidays come around. I'm like, oh, good God, I need to do something amazing. The new year. You have to change. So honestly, I don't care that much.

And I care regularly. So something.

I feel like I'm in my brain right now. I'm like, yep, yeah, yeah, yep.

And so whatever.

I mean, I think just more self compassion. Just fucking love myself. No matter all the bullshit, it's all good. You're just going through your journey.

Well, that is a pretty good place to end on.

Oh, good.

And I just want to say I'm so grateful for you. You know what I want to get really. Because your thing was being vulnerable. I want to get vulnerable and I want to tell you that I think I was scared to get to know you because it triggered my. I'm not. I won't be smart enough for him.

So I had to have the same thing with you.

So I'm having an acknowledgement moment of how facing what you're afraid of is actually one of the most beautiful. I'm so just. I'm in a really beautiful place of bliss right now of number one, learning from myself and having a beautiful new connection. So thank you for that. I'm so grateful for just all that you offer to the world, man.

Exact same right back at you.

Oh, well, thank you. And you guys, if you love this episode, make sure you share it with your friends. And until next time, earn your happy. Bye, everyone. Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment, tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again, guys. Bye. Bye.