338: What Has Been A Common Misconception About You?

I watch people's business crumble because they react. They just like lash out and they like. They clap back.

Clap back, not shine back.

No, they're not shining at all. They're like throwing mud on that mirror. Welcome to the earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Well, hello, Evans. Welcome back to another episode of your own show.

Hello, Laurie. Thank you so much for having me on.

Oh, you're welcome. Thanks for having me on. This is it.

It's a real pleasure.

It's. You know what? It's a pleasure filled day. And this is questionably awesome. And if you're wondering if it's awesome, it is. That is. It is what it is.

And it's awesome.

And so it is. And so it is written forever and ever. Amen.

Thank you.

Who was. Who was the country singer who sang that I'm gonna love you forever and ever? You know at the end when he goes like 27 times?

Randy Travis.

Randy. Randy. Where did he go?

Wasn't he in some Lifetime movies too? I feel like he did.

He totally did some Christmas movies.

He did.

And all of a sudden, like, he's wooing someone and he just busts out a banjo and like, I'm gonna love.

You forever and ever.

Fore.

Randy Travis.

Randy Travis, everyone. Reviving him.

He's coming back.

I don't think he needed us.

But he didn't.

He might have, but he liked that shout out.

Probably.

You know what he. You know what's so weird is when you. This is. This is going to be the stupidest thing I've ever said. Maybe. Probably not. But when you go and you look at your like, 80s idols.

Yeah.

And they have like 212 Instagram followers, and you're like, how do people not know about these people?

That's so true.

I feel like I have to be like, oh, next generation. Meet Randy Travis.

Here he is.

How are you less interested in this man right now?

Right. They need to do some Research on.

The people that came before them.

Yes.

Hey, do you want your country ancestors respect them. Respect.

Do you know what time it is?

What time? It's hump day. It's Thursday. But time is it.

Don't you think it's neat?

It's 7:41am oh, my God, that's early. You guys. You guys don't understand. I just want people to know that Bliss week. And she came over at 7:30am but.

You have so much to do.

You do too.

You know what's so great?

She offered me 9:00pm or 7:30, and I was like, since grandma doesn't do after 8:00 O', clock, like, we don't do that.

How's 9:00pm?

You know, I recorded a quickie last night at like nine. It was terrible. You did? No offense, everyone. I just. My brain was like, oh, rocks are from the earth.

I bet it's better than you think.

I don't know. Well, you know, they get to find a lesson in releasing a bad podcast, so. You know what? Don't leave me. Don't judge me on that or I'm going to judge you hard.

Yeah, you better stick around.

Stick around through the bad and the good. This is a marriage. All right. You got a quote?

I do. I don't even know what it means.

We do good in the morning.

It says there are two ways of spreading light. To be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.

Oh, I don't know.

I just like that.

I like that. You want to unpack it real quick?

I think it means be positive and shine back when someone holds that flame.

I felt that.

Did she feel that?

Yeah, like a shine back.

A shine back?

Yeah. Instead of a clap back when you're like lashing out, I'm gonna shine back at you.

Shine back.

Like, even in the darkness, you could probably find a star in that mirror and be like, look at this is what you got. You didn't even know because it's dark out, but you had a star up there.

It's called a shine back.

Shine back. I love that.

That's nice.

Shine back is good.

That's a. I. You need to write that down. I'm gonna write that.

You need to write that down. That's not mine. That's all you. That's your new book.

Shine Back.

That's your new book.

Hey, what's your quote?

Hey. Mine is super basic and I love it because it's really. I think as an event comes, it's always such a good reminder. Oh, let me read it first. So that we'll talk about it. Only you can change your life. No one can do it for you. And you know what? I think everybody said it.

That's so true.

And I just want to say, I think so many people come to or they do programs, they listen to podcasts, they read books, hoping that that person can somehow change their life. But really, it's not them ever changing your life. It's you changing your perspective on your current life, which then starts to reflect and change the current reality that you're in. And I think that the second we start relying on someone to change our life, it just gets all muddy.

It gets really muddy.

Oh, yeah. It's like a big turd sandwich.

It is the turdiest sandwich. The turd.

It is turdsville.

You got to drive your own driver.

Mud truck.

Mud truck. You got to drive your own driver.

You got to be a driver through the mud. All right, my ducks. Here we go. Here we go. So do we've got a. Do we've got something?

We got a review of the week.

Yeah, we do. I really liked.

I liked this because the name is I love 444. And I also love the number four. That's who left the review.

So I love 444. You know, that's an. Those are angel numbers, really. I think it's like confirmation, like that your creator, whatever you want to call it, God is like within that decision or that moment, supposedly. I looked it up.

Oh, my gosh. Yeah. That's weird that you knew that. And I picked this one.

Yeah, that's really weird.

Weird. Okay, this one says, I love Lori's podcast for so many reasons. Not only does she pop on to share stories of success and failure, she reminds us constantly. There's. There's always time to be made for yourself, which is so important in our technology obsessed, fast paced world. Thank you for all you do, Lori.

Oh, my God, could you read that again? I was on Instagram. I'm just kidding. I love, loved that review. What was her name again?

Ilove444? Or is it one love444?

I don't know. I love444 or one love444? Thank you so much for that amazing review. I'm telling you, we, like, read these reviews and we're like, really? Yeah, really. This is awesome. All right.

Still so nice.

I still feel like there's a fake world out there of a fake audience that we're like, me too. Yeah. But you know what? You know what's Cool is seeing them on Insta Stories and you're like, this is a real person.

Yeah. It's not a bot.

No. Well, I don't think so.

I don't know, but we hope not. We hope not.

I don't know, but I like this fake world we're living in. Me too.

I love robots.

I do, too. You know that in the future they want to. Now, I can't confirm any of this, so take it for what you want. Oh, you were there. What we were talking about on the cruise ship when we were talking about how in the future we might just have sleeves for bodies. You guys, it's not like the real sleeve. They're going to call these bodies sleeves.

It's not like I did not like that conversation.

It's not like you're going to be sliding into an arm sleeve. But they're trying to, like, see if they can capture. This isn't. This is part real and not real. But this is a conversation. Some people in, like, the sciency world are having science and spiritual world. Like, they. If they can capture, like, yes. Soul and like your mind and put it into, like, basically like a robotic body. Now, in my personal opinion, now, I don't know much about science.

I don't either.

But I don't know if I can put my soul in a sleeve.

So. Meaning that I can put in. In my pocket.

Is that. Is that a soul in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Hey, big soul.

You got a giant soul. All right, that's great. So great review.

Great review.

I loved it. And you know what? These reviews are so exciting because it is what helps a podcast get out there.

Yes. That was really kind.

So super kind. Like, she. If we had Kind bars, I'd be sending them to her.

Oh, I wish we did have Kind bars instead. We'll send one.

Yeah, I would. That's the problem with them. I eat them.

Yeah, me too.

I'm like, this is a great bar. I'm going to have 47.

I'll have 20,000.

I feel full. Great.

Which is never full, which is exactly.

The marketing they want. So great job. Kind.

Neverfull.

I'm just. My nickname is Neverfull. It's great. And I think that's the nickname of, like, a bag. Yeah. A Louis Vuitton bag. The Neverfull. Except I could fill that baby up.

Yeah.

Yeah. All your goodies. Oh, yeah. With snacks. With snacks. Not the squirrel.

No.

If you don't know. Oh, and someone. The squirrel.

Yeah. Say how snacks is doing? Because someone was asking.

Oh, everybody's asking. They just want to know how snacks. My squirrel who comes every day is. And he's doing super good. He missed yesterday, which was a little odd because I had so many snacks lined up on the wall.

You did?

Yes. He never came for him, which is weird because Friday night a raccoon came for the rest of the snacks.

Maybe they're having. Maybe he's back home telling people to come up, come on down.

I don't think so. He seems super selfish. Like, I like him, but he's very self centered.

Yeah, he needs to work on that.

Yeah. Did I tell you he came up with both hands and banged on the window. Both hands.

I just. The thought of a little squirrel just banging. Hey.

I was like, he is from the east coast for sure. He was like, let me in here. What do you do? Where's my snack? You didn't even put it out today, lady. Open the door. Open the door, idiot. There's my way things.

One time I was at a football game in New York and this guy behind us goes, hey, fathead, sit down. And it was one of the funniest things I've ever been a part of. I don't know who's probably talking to me. You'll fat in. You're like, oh, okay.

Oh. I felt like I was gaining weight. Yeah, I knew it. Why didn't you tell me I look fat today?

It was just so great.

Football games are intense. Like, they just whip out all the mean stuff there. Like I went to a Vikings game in Packer gear. Don't ever. That's wear your hometown gear to another stadium unless you want to go home with popcorn and soda in your hair.

Yeah, you're toast.

I'm just saying. I was like, well, I'm going to look on the bright side and say free popcorn in a very accessible area of my hair. Yeah, you could just pull it out and have a snack. I was like, you don't even know that you messed with someone who likes snacks in their hair. Yeah.

Jokes on you.

I turn around and like popcorn in my hair. I like it. All right, so we got that review done and we're sending you something awesome.

Send us your address.

It's going to be customer service. Customer service@lori harder.com.

Thanks Sponsored I have a great question for you.

Oh, man. I have a decent answer.

Okay.

I have a less than good answer.

It's from, what are your go tos for keeping your mind and heart peaceful and positive?

Oh, prayer for sure. Meditation Walking.

Love walking.

I mean, honestly, I'm in a. I'm in a place where I could lose it real quick. And I've noticed it. Like, you can go down the spiral with events coming up, and you're helping so much with this event, and you're probably in the same exact place of, like, you can go down. I mean, it. This is just an example for life. Like, this is just one example of every single thing that we can spiral out of. Like, it could be. It could be a family event coming up. It could be anything that has any emotional charge to it, any anxiety. It has the potential to turn into a freaking living nightmare if you don't. I mean, anything. I could literally take a walk outside and start picturing, like. Like, the electrical lines coming to meet me and strangle me. Like. Like. No.

Yeah, that could be scary.

I had a friend who literally was that scared all the time. She was like, no. Like, sometimes I'll picture the. The electrical wires, like, just popping off and coming towards her car, waving wildly like snakes. I was like, oh, my God, I met someone who's more anxious than me.

Yeah.

Wow. Okay. That just actually made me feel so much better. Yeah. So I was like, wear a rubber suit. You'll be fine.

Yeah, just rubber soles.

You're.

You're good.

Is. She's going to be fine and she's still. Okay, so. And that was 20 years ago. But back to the answer. Yes, it is just knowing that your mind is here to keep you safe. And if you don't get control over it, like, it's not your reality. That is your. That is your mind, like, spinning a reality to keep you as safe as possible. Like, if your mind could, it would keep you in a hole, like, for sure. Underneath the earth. Like, 75 layers underneath the Earth. That's very far.

Yes. That's a. That's a lot of layers in the earth.

You need to answer this because I'm going on a weird.

It's.

It's early. You go, it's early.

I. I agree. I would say walking and trying to take a step back to get a little perspective.

Definitely.

Right.

A step back for sure. Like stopping and even maybe talking to somebody.

Yes.

Because, man, when we isolate ourselves and we think we're working stuff out on our own, it's probably, like, not going well or quickly. Right. I feel like sometimes when you can just bring it to light and you can be like, yeah, you're right. That is a little bit. I am going down.

Yeah.

The crazy spiral.

Just having a Little sounding board.

So prayer. Prayer, meditation, getting around other people. Because I'm telling you, the second you bring it to light or talk about it, it just loses all of its energy. Yes. Do you talk to your mom?

Yeah, I talked to my mom way too much, probably, but there's never.

I'm. I'm gonna start talking to your mom because she seems like.

Call her anytime.

She would probably tell me to wear more clothes, first of all. But then we'd get to something meaty.

Yeah.

We dive right in after that.

Yeah. For years, she was buying me shirts that were like, two sizes, two bags, and I. And then finally I started working retail, and they're like, why do you always pick things that are too big? I'm like, oh, this isn't my size.

Why do you always wear a slip over your pants?

Why do you always have a huge suit on? Anyway, that was a great answer.

Sending out love to Mama today. Yes, we really are. We just love her.

Yeah.

She's just the best.

She's great.

I feel like she helped us. She helped us. So I feel like she indirectly has helped me so much. So much. Because you call her all the time and she helps you. Like, you come in so happy. And I'm just like, this is the help of your mother. Send her love.

Thanks, Mom.

This is slip money. Give this to her. She get herself something new. A slip Fund a new slip. All right.

Okay, here's a good one. It's from how to Deal. How do you deal with negativity in your business?

Oh, well, I just block and delete. I'm just kidding.

Well, no, that is part of it. You can't have all that negative negativity.

Negaty.

The negativity.

You know what we're going to call you? Negity Nelly. Negaty Nelly. You know what?

Get it.

That's literally. That is a part of it. If anybody's on your social or come. That's like. That's literally. If you don't block and delete, you're inviting that person into your home. Yes. And into your heart. And then what happens is they're like black liquid ink, and they seep into everything, and they're like. And they steal all of the joy around. They feed on joy. They're like, I'm hungry for joy.

Give me that.

It's like, Ursula just like.

Yeah, I can picture that.

Yeah. She's like, that's exactly what it's like. Yeah. And you're allowing it, so. And that's what I always think when Something super negative comes in. I'm like, okay, let's take the emotional charge out of this. Like, that's what you. That's literally what you need to say. Because here's the thing, you guys, we take it so personally and we think it's us and we think we have to defend and we think that we have to like, accept, explain ourselves. And the more you go down that spiral, the worse it's actually going to get for you.

Right.

And defense, defending is like an opt in. So when I say that, like, I mean that when you defend yourself, you're actually creating a charge and you're putting propane on that fire. So it's like saying that you part of it is true. So you do need to defend yourself. Everything that's happened to me in my business when I've taken the role of, hey, they're going through their own thing. Like, I'm just gonna leave that there and I'm not gonna say a word and I'm going to kind of like mind my own business. I'm gonna double down on love. I'm gonna double down on the positivity. And maybe I kind of talk about the situation, but I'm not gonna name names or whatever but say where I'm at. I'm gonna just work through it. I'm gonna talk to somebody who's been through this before and I'm gonna start to take the charge out of whatever happened and know that I'm just mirroring something to them that really bothers them. It's not actually me exactly. So that's been really huge for me. And here's don't defend yourself. Obviously, if there's something that you really need to say or stand up for, or say how you feel, but then let it go and say it. I'm telling you, do not say anything to the person or the situation until you can actually say it from a place of love and understanding. And when I say understanding, just understanding that they're in a different place than you.

Good girl.

This has literally, like saved my business because I watch people's business crumble because they react. They just like lash out and they like. Yeah, they clap back.

Clap back, not shine back.

No, they're not shining at all. They're like throwing mud on that mirror.

That's not good. Unless it's a mud mask.

Yeah, no, mud masks are great. Yeah, from what I hear. I've never used one. Me neither. But I'd like at the beach. Yeah, I'm like, look, I have mud mask. On my skin's getting nice. Okay, that's enough. Wow. You know when you just can't retract?

Yeah. It's all good.

How about you? What do you do about negativity in your life?

I kind of try to catch myself when I feel it coming in and just do that pause. And how do you do.

Do you like, how do you catch yourself in your mind? What's the sentence?

I think I can just feel it in my gut. I'm like, oh, that didn't feel good.

Yeah.

And I need to stop that.

Yeah. Like constipation. Like, it's exactly like constipation kind of is. Sometimes you're like, do I have to go to the bathroom or am I just really upset being a jerk? Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Let's try to release being a jerk and go to the bathroom at the same time. Okay, keep going.

And I like what you said about releasing the charge. Because a lot of times if you just take a step back and you're like, okay, let's just look at this. Let's not say something. What's that saying about. Didn't. Abraham Lincoln said. When you have. Abraham Lincoln said. I think I read somewhere that he said, like, when you're writing and you're angry or something, write it all down and then throw it away.

Oh, that's good.

And just let it out.

Yeah, that's so good. It does. We forget that as human beings, like, in order to. So energy wants to move and an emotion is just energy. If we. And if we think that we're going to solve it ourselves and not let it out. Right. Like it's going to fester and it's going to bother you. So letting it out doesn't have to be with people all of the time. Letting it out can be on paper or in private. Just like gas. You don't need to do that in large judge crowds.

You're right. Sometimes it happens.

Sometimes that's funny to do. And blame the biggest guy there because it's definitely not the girl. Chris and I always talk about that. He's like. He's like, why do girls fart in public? Because then they blame the guys who's around. And I'm always the guy that's around. I'm like, wow, this must be like a deep rooted issue for you. Partially because there might be some truth to it.

I've been blamed for toots my whole life.

It's like in Soul Cycle. You know what I mean? He's like, it's all. It's mostly all girls. And when someone toots, everyone looks at.

Me like, that is awkward. When you. But sometimes you have to toot in.

Class, you know, I hope you're not that person, but sometimes you do have to.

Yeah, I'm usually able to hold it in. I don't think it's happened to me, but I'm.

I'm gonna make. I truly. Like, we need to go back to those charcoal pants, because wouldn't it just be the most awesome thing to just be like. And have it be like, wow, do I smell potpourri?

Yeah. O, that smells nice. Like roses.

And you're like, oh, I made that. They call me the. What is that? Is that a glade Pl. What's the thing that goes. Not a butt.

Yeah, I was like a. A toot.

That little Airwick. When you walk in a room.

Oh, yeah.

And it's like. Like, you could just take all the crab. Be like, oh, that's my pants. Like, what is that beautiful smell? You're like me.

It's me. Bye. Just walk up to circles of people.

And be like, bye. Blessings.

Oh, no.

I'm telling you, if anybody takes that trademark, I'm gonna be mad.

Yeah.

I don't know. Trademark. The trademark is Airwick pants.

Airwick pants.

I think Airwick might already be trademarked, but.

But Airwick pants aren't.

That's true. What we could call them airwalk pants. There used to be airwalk shoes. I just remembered that they were the coolest shoes in the world. Well, I thought so. Most other. Most everyone didn't think so, but I did because I was a wannabe, like, you know, skater, snowboarder. So I was like, airwalks. Yeah, Coolest. I like. You wear Nikes. You're ridiculous. And now, like, oh, Nikes are great. All right, so it was there another queue because we got a. We got to get this cue ball going.

Oh, yeah, there is a. How about this one? I thought this was really fun. Rebecca Faulkner asked, what has been a common misconception about you now or in the past?

Ooh, that's so good. Because I was thinking how much of my non. Business it is to care about what people think of me or to figure that out.

Yeah.

So a misconception. Oh, this is a common one. When I was in the fitness world, it was just like, that I'm just really into, like, fitness and nutrition and that I've always been fit. That was such. That's all I heard. Like, what would you know? You've always Been fit or you've always, like, you. You've always had it easy. And I'm like, okay, that's awesome. Yeah. And I totally get how people think that, and. Which is also why, as much as we hate social media, it's so great to be able to share your story and where you came from, because I would never even. I don't think I'd be passionate about health and fitness if I didn't actually have to lean on it for, like, emotional support. It was such a spiritual awakening for me. So I think that's. The misconception is just that it's been easy for me and that I've always been into, like, health and fitness or that that's easy. What about you? What's a misconception about Evans, maybe?

Well, my first name's Hillary. And I remember when I got to my college roommate, we went potluck or whatever. Yes. So we didn't know. And she was like, oh, I thought you were gonna be really mean because your name was Hillary.

Oh, my God, that's so funny.

You're like, I hope I'm not.

You're like, actually, my name is Evans. You just changed it on the spot. Actually, my name is. What was it?

Shineback.

Yeah, my name's Shineback. You ever heard of me?

You ever heard of me? I could see a common misconception for you being that you're always happy. Cause I think you're always happy. But I also know that you share that you struggle.

Yes. Oh, my gosh. What a great one. Yeah. People think I'm like, I am very joyful.

But you're super joyful. Like, it brings so much freaking joy. But I'm also aware that you're a human, like.

And.

Cause we've talked about it, about how I struggle, and it just really makes me feel. Actually, it makes me feel awesome to know, like, wow, you can be so joyful and turn that on and let it be a choice. Cause I literally. No, this is really powerful for people to hear. Like, I've known that you've been struggling some days, but you just come in and you freaking make a choice to, like, turn it on.

What? Thanks, Lori.

Well, it's the truth.

Well, thank you.

I'm just. I'm dropping truth everywhere.

Well, I love planting.

I'm like a farmer of truth today.

Yeah, that is true.

Because it is a choice.

I think. I think you can change your. You can walk in that door and you can be a negative nilly, or you can say, look, yeah, I'm gonna choose to be. And then things just naturally start getting better and better Once you do that choice, they do.

And it does not feel easy. Like, I can only imagine some days you've walked in when you know, you've told me later, like, oh my God, this was going on. And I'm like, you're me. I would have, I would have thought that you just planted 47 beds of flowers on the way here. Like, that's what I picture you doing. Like, that spot needs flowers.

More flowers, please bloom. Get it.

Like it's the sound and it's bloom, bloom.

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Like, I see you doing that bloom, bloom. And then, you know, you come in and you're like, no, I was actually like, tooting all the way here. Yeah. Angry.

It was really sad. Yeah, it's true.

I needed charcoal pants because my stomach's upset.

I have been stressed out on the way here and it's not a good day.

But I wouldn't have known because I would have thought you were just planting fertilizing flowers. You know what, you would have taken that and been like, I actually fertilize your neighbor's lawn and I'm helping them. I just got really distracted by your big blingy ring, by the way.

Oh, well, thank you.

Yeah. Isn't it cool? Do you like, do you shine back on people with that? Are you like, shine back shot back? I'm part of a new club. She is totally into jazz.

Oh, no.

Right at this moment.

Glory.

Do tell. I gotta go. Huh?

Yeah, I gotta go.

You know what, guys? We gots to go. Like, normally we don't have to go, but we gots to go today. We got Bliss Project to go pack a van.

Just a casual event.

Just casual. Just hanging out. Oh, well.

Well, this was great.

Thank you. Energy right on up.

Me too.

If there was a thermostat, it would bust the needle. Mercury everywhere.

Don't drop the thermometer.

Do you remember that? They're like, you're gonna die if you break a thermometer, which is cool. I mean, I don't know if that's truthful or not, but I think that we eat lots of fish with mercury in it, so I don't think that's what's happening. Yeah, I'm like, oh, I'm a walking thermometer now at this point. All right, guys, we're so grateful for you. We are grateful for your questions. We really feel like this one will change your life.

I really do feel like it will.

I do, too. So here's to charcoal pants and, I.

Don'T know, just shining back.

Shining back in charcoal pants.

Shining back on your charcoal pants.

We love you. Goodbye. Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment, Tell us what you think. Tell us what you want to hear. More of it would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again, guys. Bye. Bye, Sa.