343: Light Your Creative Fire & Amplify Your Purpose with Adam Roa

Everything I'm doing is about putting love into form. And so if we can be pulling from that place and creating from a space where we're in a feeling of love and excitement, it's going to translate.

Welcome to the Earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn, own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Hey everyone. Welcome back to the show. I'm so excited you're here and you are going to love this episode. Let me just tell you why, because I have someone on who has inspired me for quite a while and when I say inspired, I mean just really made my heart leap and mirrored back to me something that I knew that I wanted to do, but it scared the crap out of me. Have you ever felt that way? So this human being truly is going to possibly shift quite a few things inside of you. So I'm going to tell you one thing before I introduce this person. This is a podcast that you're going to have to listen all the way to the end because he offers one of the most special gifts in the world that he is going to do through some of his spoken word poetry. So you do not want to miss it. Definitely stick around to hear what has inspired and shifted my life beyond anything I can tell you. Let it consume you. Close your eyes. Maybe you want to be somewhere that you can sit down or you're walking outside in nature because it's going to rock your world. So meet my guest, Adam Roa. He is a transformational artist who is committed to using creative energy to catalyze change on the planet. He's a modern day Renaissance man. He's constantly creating a variety of artistic projects including conscious film, music and spoken word poetry on a quest to discover what it means to be an empowered man. He is known for sharing his journey with radical authenticity on his reality based YouTube show, the Art of Choosing. Love you guys. If you haven't seen it yet, definitely go watch it. As well as his amazing podcast the Deep Dive with Adam Roa. So here we go, Adam, I'm so excited to have you in person, in the flesh. On the podcast, when you gave me.

The in person option, I said that that gets to happen. I know.

I literally, like, I just think that, like, you kind of were talking about I do a lot of zoom, but I. When we're in person, I just feel like I tend to go with the flow even more than I would.

Yeah. There's no replacement to sharing energy in person. It's just kind of magical. We're designed for it.

It is. And you know what? It's good for me because sometimes my super introvert can be like, no, zoom is really awesome. And then when I get in person, I'm like, yeah, that was way better.

I mean, if you think about it, that means that our energy is being filtered through the energy of technology, like the frequency of technology. Right. And this is human to human.

Yeah. Until they can learn. You can, like, press a button that, like, helps upgrade that energy then.

Totally. That's why whenever I do podcasts by zoom, I'm holding, like, a crystal in my hand or something.

Yes, totally. That's really funny. I have crystals downstairs on my desk, and I'm typically always either playing with them or have, like, one over my heart or something, because, number one, I'm always playing with things, but whatever.

Yeah. I mean, the crystals are a good thing to play with if you're going to choose anything.

That's very true. So I'm so excited that you're here because you have been kind of a someone that I look up to on my spoken word journey or my poetry journey or whatever the hell it is that I'm doing right now. Your own unique poetic expression, just whatever's coming through. So I always love talking to people like you because I think that there's this part of me that just. I get a mirror back to me of what is possible. So you are. I think being able to see you perform in person, too, has recently just been. Have you ever had those moments where you see something or someone and it just, like, reminds you of what's possible for you?

That's how I started spoken word poetry.

Do tell. Gotta hear it.

I went to an event in Santa Monica where it was several speakers, like 15 speakers each getting about 5, 6 minutes to just go up and give a brief talk. And the last speaker was a spoken word poet. And I'd never heard of spoken word poetry. I'd never seen a performance poet before. And the moment that he started, it was a lightning bolt in my system. That said, you can do that?

Wow.

And I stood up and I went up to him afterwards and I said, hey, I'm a filmmaker, and I would love to make a film of one of your pieces of poetry or something, thinking that the inspiration was that I could do it for him. And then I went home and started writing and within three days had written two pieces of poetry. My first, not poems ever, but my first performance poems, my first, like, slam poetry. And the second one that I wrote within the first three days of starting was you are who you've been looking for, which is the one that just went viral. 130 million whatever views. And that's the second one I ever wrote within three days of saying, I can do that. Wow.

Okay. Like, I literally felt that in my entire body when you said that. Because I want to. I want people to understand who are listening, like, how quick when you say yes and when you recognize it, that I can actually come. Because I think majority of the world, from what I hear from a lot of people, is that there's so much prep time, and there's so much in their head time, and there's so much just like, waiting to be good at something before they can release something. When sometimes when you recognize and it's a yes and it's in there, it's almost like that person has just basically unlocked a part of you that was always there, but you just needed to see, like, an example of it. So for you, what was from the moment of, wow, I have that in me to releasing it, Was there a period of time before actually sharing it with other people?

No. I started to share it with my girlfriend basically when I wrote it, and then I shared it with. It's so funny, because how it happened was I wrote this first poem, and you haven't been to my spoken word poetry show. Right. Permission to do it?

Not to your actual show. No, I've just seen you perform at other people's.

Yeah. So that show has six pieces of poetry. The first two that I wrote actually make it in there. Like, they came out, and if I were to show you the journal that they're in, they came out with very little scribbles and rewrites. It was basically just straight through. And I wrote the first one, and I read it to a group of friends, and they said, yo, you should do your next one about you are who you've been looking for. I said, great. And so I went home, and within 24 hours, I had written it. And the reason that I feel like that's possible is because all I believe the entirety of the human experience lives in us. I believe that our DNA, you know, the majority of our DNA used to be called junk DNA. They're getting away from that term, but used to be called junk DNA, meaning they didn't know what it even did, and so they kind of discarded it. But that seems silly to me to think that nature made it 93% or 97% of our DNA just worthless. It's doing something. We just can't figure out what it's doing. And so when I think about all the amazing humans on this planet who are doing amazing things and recognize that they're doing it without Anyone knowing what 95% of them is actually even made of, then I feel as if your ability to sing, your ability to play every instrument, your ability to do math at genius level, all of that actually lives in you. It's just whether we've created the keys to unlock those codes in us, whether we've created the neurological pathways in just the right way for the singing voice to come through. And so I believe that. I believe that is true. And because I believe it, whether the people listening to this, whether they go, that's not scientifically proven or whatever. Great. The placebo effect is scientifically proven. And so the fact that I believe that the entirety, every potential exists in me, in my DNA, when I have that hit. You can do that immediately, I go, great. I can. It's in here. I just got to figure out how to unlock it.

Mm. Okay. So. Oh, my God. So, you guys, this is so exciting for me because there's so many different avenues I want to go down with you. So when you decided to do the thing and you literally were like, that is in me. And you started to write, did you know when you were writing that it was going like, that it was good, or. How did you keep that channel clear without doubting yourself? How did you just keep on writing without judging it?

Ooh, that's a really great question. I don't know that I can say that I did. I think that one thing about me that I used to judge myself for was I was a really late bloomer. And so I don't think I hit puberty, really, until right before, like, my junior year of high school. I entered high school at 73 pounds. I was really small. Yeah. 73 pounds.

I was 73 pounds in, like, second grade.

Yeah, most people were. And. And I was five feet tall. 73 pounds. And so I overdid it. I had that needing to prove my worth so much and my value and prove that I was attractive and I was manly, all these things. And that led to arrogance, which really arrogance is just not like pretending to have self confidence, right? And I, over the years, that arrogance shifted at some point. I can't pinpoint when it was, but it shifted to a place of actual confidence. Actual confidence that what I do, whatever it is. I'm stepping into music now. And my belief firmly in my system is whatever music I make, it may not be someone's cup of tea, but it's still going to be good, it's going to be dope. And I think that's important. I think it's important for you because I heard your performance piece in Denver and I'd never heard someone do it quite that way with the songs in there and the things. And I believe that the more we can take ownership of if I'm expressing myself fully in my unique way, not trying to make it fit into anything, if it's me I can trust that me is enough. I am enough. And there are going to be people who resonate with my message. There's a reason I'm on the planet and feeling called to do this thing. I think that where we get tripped up and start judging our writing or our music or our singing voice or whatever is if we're comparing it to what we think it's supposed to be. We have an idea of what good sounds like. And now we're comparing it to that. And that limits us. And this has been big for me as I've unlocked my voice more and more. And stepping into singing a bit more is recognizing. I always thought I couldn't sing in large part because I was trying to sing like people with perfect pitch. And instead, as I've said, no, I can sing. I just need to find the way that I can sing and start playing with like a little gravel in the way I sing or whatever it is. I found things that sound really good and they're not perfect pitch. I'm not going to be singing in some gospel choir. And that is part of this believing in your unique expression as being good enough.

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Mm.

I just am amening over here. I really am. Like, I. And it's so funny, when I hear you talk, I feel so much of. I just see such a mirror because now I love music as well. And there's such a huge part of me right now that's like, oh, my gosh, I wanna do music. And I actually have, like, a surprise that's coming up at Bliss Project that's much like that, but it's. So this is what we were talking about right before. This is you saying that you wanna do music and you want to also perform at Burning man, and you're like, I have no idea how this is gonna happen. I really don't even know what I'm doing, but this is what I'm putting out there, and this is what I see happening. Like, I can imagine right now that your vision, like, you already have the vision. You can already feel it. You can see it. You can know how it's, like, exactly what you're going to be like, what the feeling is, and what. What feeling you want to project onto people, but you don't know maybe how that's gonna. How you're gonna do that yet. So I want people to understand the creative process, because I think we're all creatives, but we don't actually know what it looks like, because if we're thinking the way we think the world works, or a lot of us, it's very linear and you need to feel. You go and you get the education, and then you practice it, and then you put it out in the world and get some feedback. But that's very much not how I have felt about the creative process. It's kind of been more like, nothing feels sure. But it feels good for me. Like, it needs to come out, but at the same time, it's like, I don't know. This feels good for me, but I don't know if this is crappy or not. Here's the vision that I see. I have no idea why I'm seeing this massive vision, but I know it's for me and I'm supposed to act on it. So for you, you see that vision. You don't know the. How can you share with people what it actually looks like and what it actually feels like and how you actually make it happen for you.

Yeah, it's funny, there's two pieces to that. One is the visioning stage that we're talking about and one is the actual creative process. And so speaking to the first part, which is this visioning stage. Yeah. I've set a goal that I will DJ a two hour set of mostly my own produced music at Burning man this year. And I don't know how to DJ and I haven't produced my own dance music before and I don't have. I've never stayed at a theme camp at Burning man or anything. I don't have like a set place. I could just say, hey, let me do this. So I love all of this so much, I have no idea how it's going to manifest. And I know that it's gonna happen just because I've decided it's gonna happen. And the thing is that along the way, when we set a big vision, the moment that we decide that that's what's happening, our brain actually starts to put the puzzle pieces together. So I've already started thinking about, oh, I have this person and this person and this connection. And my brain has started to do the work of putting the puzzle pieces together to make it happen. And that's where the ownership of it is so important. So many people have this in the back of their head. I want to create a music album, I want to start this app, I want to launch this business. And they don't take ownership of it, they don't actually declare it as the thing that is happening. And therefore their brain is at most maybe 25% doing the work. But when you commit 100% saying this is happening, your brain commits 100% to it. And one of two things is going to happen. You are going to make it happen. A reality, it's going to actualize, or everything that's in the way of its actualization will show up and rise to the surface. Because that's your subconscious and the universe saying, here are the things. You have too much self doubt, you're too insecure about your singing voice to make the album. Like whatever that is will rise to the surface as saying, hey, here's your learning, here's your curriculum in order to become a match to that. So that's why it's so important for people to dream big and claim it and own it from a practical level of just getting your brain to support you and getting your reality to shift around you and. And even I'll give another example, just popped into my head. But imagine you're at a coffee shop and Someone next to you speaks about how they're helping organize a stage at Burning Man. If you haven't set that goal, that might be one of the things that your unconscious mind filters out and you never hear it. But if you've decided that and your unconscious knows that's what it's working towards, that definitely hits your eardrums. And you. You process that, and you have the option now to go say, hey, hey, my name's Adam, et cetera, et cetera. And that could be the very thing. So that's the visualization part that I think is really important. And then when you go into the creative process, I actually teach a course, I have an online course about the creative process called unlock your inner artist. And I've broken my creative process down into four steps because it's non traditional. I believe that the role of. I believe that anything you want to create. So, Laurie, whatever your music project is, et cetera, every iteration of that, every version of that exists, we live what this table that's in front of us, it seems solid, and yet most of it is potential energy. Most of it is empty space. And so in that empty space, what we have is infinite potentials. And so the version of your music project that flops is out there. The version of your music project that's a massive hit far beyond anything you could even imagine, also exists out there. And the question becomes, as you're creating, which one are you a match to? Which one are you pulling in and therefore is being expressed through you? And so that process, in my opinion, what an artist does, is connect to a frequency of information, pull it through them, and then put it out into the world as art. And so what we're pulling from, are you pulling from the one that flops? Are you pulling from the one that comes out in its highest form and creates the biggest impact?

Do you know when you're in each one is one definitely like, oh, I'm pulling from the version that flops right now because this feels a certain way. Or how do you differentiate?

Well, the biggest way that I feel I can tell for myself is the actual feeling in my body. Right. When I've worked on poetry before, there's times where I'm working on the poetry and it feels so frustrating. Ah, I can't figure out this next section or whatever it is. And I know that if I force myself to sit there and work on it, I'm actually pulling from a place of feeling like, I don't know, and feeling frustrated and feeling all of these things that aren't actually what I want the piece to feel. I want to be pulling from a place where it's coming through me in a way that feels expansive and exciting and full of love. Everything I'm doing is about putting love into form. And so if we can be pulling from that place and creating from a space where we're in a feeling of love and excitement, it's going to translate, it's going to make its way out. We have been in the speaker circuit and podcast interviews and that sort of thing. And when I interview people on my podcast, it's like I can tell who is excited to be there. I can tell who's actually excited to say the things that they're saying versus the person who's just said them so many times that you're like, how many times has this person said it? I don't even believe them, really. And we feel that. And the words are the same, but the energy's different. And to think that somehow just because we write it down that it doesn't have. It's not the same thing. Or just because we put it into an email that the person's not gonna also receive a frequency of that, I think is undervaluing. How on this planet is frequency.

Okay, so I have a question around that, around when you are like, this is also what you do for a living, basically. So creating. So for. Okay, I'm going to use the example of when I was writing my book because, dang, there were days when I knew that I was pulling from the. What did you call it? The version that flops. And, you know, I had great days where I was, like, elated and I was like, I'm the best author ever. And then the next day I'm like, I should not be doing this. So I would have very up and down days. And even on some of those, it's crazy because I would go back and read some of the days where I wasn't feeling good and there was some good stuff in there, but typically I would end up kind of moving it around because it did feel that way. Like, I could tell this is from a place of you need a chapter.

Yeah.

I'm like, oh, my gosh. So what kind of advice do you have around that for people? How do you reset yourself if you're just in this space of, you know, sometimes you have deadlines, sometimes you have a talk that you said yes to, and you are in a shit space in your life, like, shit is going down and you are like, how do you.

How.

How do you know what I'm saying?

Totally. The whole first season of the Art of Choosing Love was kicked off from a breakup and then talking about sexual trauma for the very first time publicly. And like, so creating, while being in an intense emotional breakdown has been my entire last six months. So I feel totally happy to talk about that one. At the highest level, I think everything is birthed in pressure. Life diamonds, pearls. Everything is birthed in pressure.

I love that.

What's important is recognizing that pressure does not equal stress. Stress is the value we assign to the pressure because that pressure can be. You can assign the value of motivation to that pressure. Yeah, I'm so motivated because I have this speech next week, and I'm excited to go into this, and the motivation becomes excitement, whereas the pressure, like, oh, my God, I have this speech and I have so much to do now. It becomes stress. And that stress becomes all these other emotions right? That now you're pulling from the flap. And so when we start there and we recognize the pressure is healthy, the pressure is healthy, the stress is optional. That's been hugely impactful for me. And then the next stage of that is recognizing that I have experienced, and I'm sure as an author you have experienced this as well, those moments where in an hour you knock out so many pages, where you go, whoa, that was incredible. And then in the next day, not get as much done as that hour of just flow state, when we can get rid of the idea that the actual time spent in front of the computer or the mic or whatever it is is equating to the value or the efficiency when we let go of that, then what we arrive at is recognizing that actually the most efficient thing we can do is make sure we are in our highest aligned state so that we have the highest probability of entering into those flow moments and getting a whole chapter knocked out in an hour. And if you could look at it and if someone said to you, okay, I guarantee if you just spent the first four hours of your day meditating and eating really good healthy food, going to the gym, going to yoga, getting a massage, and then you went and you worked on your book, and I could guarantee that for the next two hours, you will get as much done as if you had spent. Spent all of those hours in front of that computer typing away. Most people would choose that. And so few people are willing to trust that that will happen. And for me, and part of the unlock your inner artist course is recognizing. So the metaphor I use is that we're all garden hoses. And so you are tapped in wherever you get tapped into, and then it flows through you. The first stage of the process is when you take that garden hose out of the shed and say, okay, we're gonna do this project. You had to unkink it, right? Like, take the. No water flows through a bent water hose. And so what that looks like is actually getting the part of you that thinks, oh, I can't. I produced an album last year of spoken word poetry to original composition. And I sat down with the producer and lead engineer on the very first day, and I said, okay, who here thinks that they can win a Grammy with this album? And neither of them raised their hand. I said, why don't you think so? And he said, I feel like I still have some learning to do to get better at my craft. And I said, okay, awesome. So we can't win a Grammy right now if we think we can't win a Grammy right now. And so just the part of you that thinks you're not yet equipped to win it, that's the part that we get to work on to unkink the hose so that we can be a match to that potential. And it's not about winning the Grammy. It's just about being able to create the best thing we can possibly create. And so unkinking the hose, getting rid of those fears and insecurities, and doing the personal development work to be a match, recognizing anything that flows through you is gonna pick up all of your crap on the way through. And so the less crap you have to get in there, like going through rusty pipes, the cleaner, the more pure that frequency will come out of you. And so unkink the hose. And then step two, connect to the source, connect to the tap. What is the frequency and how do you actually do that? Cause that's a process. The version that flops and the version that wins the Grammy, those are two different frequencies. And how do you learn to attune to that one consistently, Right?

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And then the third step is like turning the water on, turning the water up and making it a massive flow. And that's a day to day process. When you wake up in the morning. When I wake up in the morning and I immediately open up my social media and my emails, I am in a lower vibe state than if I take an hour, meditate, journal, stretch and do those sorts of things, make my morning smoothie or whatever. And then the final one is spout it out. Which basically means if you had a hose, you could use your thumb to spray the water. You can use a gun nozzle, a sprinkler or whatever. And that's how does it uniquely flow through you out into the world world. And so knowing that, knowing who you are and what's unique about you, so that the idea for the album or the book, which we could both have, is uniquely yours. Because only when it's uniquely yours will it be in its highest potential impact. Because there's a reason it was given to you as, as an idea in the first place.

So many good things there. I can literally see moments in my life that you're explaining that I've either applied that or that's happened or I've finally learned that and things have shifted for me even way back. It's like happening and we don't even realize it's kind of happening to us. I'm thinking back when I was in the fitness world and I used to do competitions and I did not think that I could win. I was just kind of like, oh, I'm here, I'm doing this thing. I'm so proud of myself for doing this thing. Well, you don't think you can win, guess what's gonna happen? You don't ever win. So it wasn't until I actually shifted into visualizing and thinking that it could happen, that the year that I felt it, like I felt it in my bones, I'm like, I feel this is a possibility for me. And it flipped like A light. And I started winning. Like, it was. I became a match and I felt it.

What was it? Physique?

It was. Yeah, it was bikini and fitness and figure.

I didn't know that about you.

I literally did it for four years. Like four to six to. I think seven was like, the most competitions I did in a year. And then on the year that it flipped for me, I became a world champion three times, like, in different divisions. But that's the flip. Like, so I take what you're saying, because I was like, I wasn't a match. And until I worked on everything and it was nothing about the body. It was nothing about my body that I changed. Not a thing. Everything was like all internal work. It was like wanting to learn to be a teacher. It was wanting to learn how to push it out into the world in my own way. Knowing that, yes, we might be all, like stamps of each other up there, but how are you pushing it out in your own way? So I was just sitting there going, wow, that was. It's so beautiful how that's actually like a course that we can actually learn.

Yeah. And it's so crazy to me how long people have been talking about mindset and believing that things are possible. You know, even just think and grow rich to, like, the law of attraction. Like, so much mindset coaching in. In sports and in business and all of these things. And yet it's still. When I work with a client, the first thing I do is start to create a map of their beliefs, essentially. And recognizing. Whoa. Let's identify five key limiting beliefs that are here and present. And the way that so many people. Very highly successful people, too. This is not an exception to people who have successful business businesses or anything, but can defend their limiting beliefs. Here's the reason why I can't win. You know what I mean? I'm not tall enough to. Okay. Can you think of anyone that's been that height that has won before? Great. Awesome. The defense. Because it's often really painful to give your whole being to a goal and not. Not achieve what you wanted to achieve. That is, it can be incredibly disheartening. And the fear of that pain can keep people with just creating the excuse. Right. Creating the reason why it's not happening. That's almost always outside of ourselves. You say, oh, I'm not tall enough. Awesome. There's nothing I can do about that. So therefore, it's not really my fault. It's not really in my control. It's okay that I'm not winning. It's okay. That I'm not succeeding because I have dyslexia and I just never learned to read as well as everyone else. So I'm slower in these. You know what I mean? We can create such patterns in our minds to convince ourselves why it's not possible to achieve what we want to achieve.

So for you, if there was. Okay, so let's go there. So let's say the Burning man thing does not happen for you, but you commit yourself for, let's even just say, five years. Like, you are, like, committed on this. 5. That you're gonna do this huge thing at Burning man, and it's just not.

Happening for five years. My goodness. I'm saying it's happening this year in, like, five months.

I want to go to the other side, though, of, like, what if it doesn't? And you keep working for it, because there are people listening who they have been committed to something, a vision that big for five years or maybe more. I know it's happened for me, and yet it's like, it may not happen. What's the belief that you create around if it's not happening? That could be empowering or that could also help open a door or. Cause sometimes we can say, well, why isn't this happening for me? Like, why is this happening for other people? But maybe I'm just not as gifted or whatever that is. What is something that you would tell yourself if it didn't happen?

I can actually give you an example of something that wasn't happening for me, in a way. I moved out to LA to pursue acting, and I pursued acting for about five years. I mean, I still have a talent manager in New York. Yeah. The pursuit of that, I was like, I'm gonna be. I'm in feature films and TV and all that stuff.

Yeah.

And what kind of acting did you like?

Can I just ask, like, what did you see yourself as?

Super dramatic. Super dramatic, Absolutely. Like drug addict, like all of those things. Yep.

I could see that too, by the way.

Yeah. Acting saved my life. I was raised in a way where emotions weren't really safe in my household. It wasn't okay to show and shut it down. And so acting became, like, the release of the pressure valve.

Feel all the pressure.

I actually learned to feel, and I was rewarded. The more I felt I was a better actor, the more emotion I let out. And so that was. It really saved my life. And so I wanted to give back in that way. I wanted to go into this thing that. That movies and acting, it was just. It has Held such a space in my heart, and I wanted to do it because I felt like if I had that and then I was. Had the fame platform, I could use my platform to shed light on some really powerful things like homelessness and this sort of stuff. And it wasn't like I did. I booked, you know, different roles on different TV shows and stuff like that. Never large, large parts. And every time it happened, nothing shifted internally. And I went, oh, maybe it just wasn't a large enough part. Maybe it wasn't. You know what I mean? There was the next thing. And what ended up happening is I went through the most difficult year of my life. And my talent manager at the time, I literally. He became verbally abusive and. And I wanted to get out of the contract, but I had been misled in the contract negotiations, and I had to print out my bank account statement and give him every dollar I had to get out of the contract. So after, like, five years of struggling as an actor, I was at a financial zero. Someone ran a stop sign in T bone my car, and I needed hip surgery. And I had migraines. Like, all of this stuff was happening. This was 2013.

Wow.

Yeah. And at that time, I didn't believe in spirituality. I didn't believe in. We were talking about crystals. I didn't believe in any of that stuff. And what happened was I had no money, and so I was forced to go into work. I was a personal trainer at the time.

Oh, my gosh. Yeah. Learning so much today. It's so great.

And when I went to the gym, I had migraines. I was limping because of the hip. And I walked back out to the car, and my rental car had been hit and run on the side of the road. The bumper had. And it was one week to the day of the car accident, literally same day a week later. And it was undrivable. And I just broke. And it was that moment in the movies where it's like the. The character's just staring straight ahead, and it's like, wah, wah, wah. And people are talking to them. It's. And you can't even hear it was that. And what actually happened was there was an ego death experience right there. There was a hum, A humility that entered into the space where I went for the first time in my life, I said, I don't think I know what I'm doing in this life thing. I don't think I. I understand how this works, because I see people who seem to have it figured out, who are happy and who are successful and all these things. And I've thought that I have all of the skills and characteristics and traits to do it. And it's not working. And I'm desperate now. I'm on my knees praying like, someone help me. And that humility in that moment of breakdown was the crack in the armor that allowed the light in and. And eventually led me down the path of my awakening. And from that awakening moment, now I look at where I'm at and I look at why I wanted to become an actor and the impact I wanted to make and the ability to feel. And I look at what I just did with season one of the Art of Choosing Love, and I recognize I am directing and producing my own show where it's entirely about feeling your emotions and how to move through that and creating impact. Where I get messages every single day from people all around the world about either my poetry or the show saying, thank you. This is how it's helped me. A message just today from someone who said I was gonna commit suicide and the day I was gonna do it, I saw your poem and I didn't. And like those sorts of messages and impact that are coming out, I recognize I'm living the dream that I set when I first moved out to LA to become an actor. It just looks completely differently. And in order for that. For me to be here, because I would choose where I'm at right now over being in those feature films any day of the week. And I'm excited to go into feature films and I'm letting everyone know I will be, and that will happen and it will happen on my terms in a different way, being known for something different. And so that whole long tangent that I went on is to say that when people have been working so hard at something for so long and it really feels like it is not smooth, it is not effortless, it is a struggle. It doesn't seem like it's working out. Out. My advice is to look at the why underneath it. What has really been driving that. Because often what can happen is we can put the blinders on and say, the way that I can get what I want, the only way is this. And then we shut down. The potentiality of achieving our dreams of the why that could come in ways that are entirely unexpected and. And often then it can become an ego thing too. I've poured $300,000 into this business over the last three years, and I am not letting. Not saying that it's done and now it becomes ego. And ego is actually the reason the thing that's driving that and disconnect from the actual why that started the dream in the first place. And I believe fully that working hard, like I've never worked harder in my life than I did over the last six months. And it hasn't felt like work most of the time. It's felt in flow most of the time. And I know that when it doesn't feel like that, it's because something is off. And whenever that happens, I go back into my process, whether it's a plant medicine ceremony, whether it's a mentorship, whether at the end of the year I took a week and just went into silence on an island in Thailand and just spent it by myself. And whatever I feel called to do, I make those pivots and those adjustments because I recognize there is again, an infinite potential, There is a version of this that doesn't have to feel so hard. And am I pulling from that place?

Do you think life is gonna do that for everybody? Do you think it's going to keep on either giving you a message or shutting you down, or getting your cars ran into, or in my case, stolen over and over? Do you think life is gonna give you messages like that? And for someone who's maybe getting them right now, how can you look at it in more of an empowering way than this is to me way?

Yeah, that's a really great question. Because in many ways I find that to be almost like the secret to happiness, right? Is can I see this event that happened and see how it's happening for me, not to me. And that is not always easy. And I believe it to be true. I believe it's happening, happening for us. And what I would say for people, if you're experiencing a series of what seems like life falling apart around you, which was my 2013, it was told to me by someone that that's a hollowing out period. And what it means is that you're at the end of a chapter and you're starting a new one. And there's this quote, and I don't know where it's from, but you can't start the next chapter until you're done reading the last one. And so for me, I was so hell bent on holding on to my last chapter of what I thought I was in and how it had to go that turning the page to this next chapter wasn't even an option. And it had to become so difficult because the more tightly I held on to that old chapter, the more violently it had to be ripped out of My cold, dead hands.

You're so articulate. Like, you're so beautiful. Okay, go.

Thank you. And, yeah, so my suggestion for people in that is to say, okay, this is clearly a mess. I feel it's not coincidence anymore. It's very clear that I'm getting these messages and these things are happening, and it's so hard. Great. Let's take a real good, long look at what you are absolutely refusing to let go of. Where are you not allowing your awareness to shift and look in a different direction and say, maybe I can let go of my identity a little bit, Have a bit of an ego death and say, what is being asked of me here? Instead of forcing my way into this. What is being asked of me? What's being shown to me? And when we start to look at these events as signs, as guidance instead of as tragedy, it opens up even our brain to start to put those pieces together. Bringing this back to what I was saying before. If my car gets stolen or I get in a car accident, I say, okay, great. How is this happening for me? The moment I even entertain that idea, my brain starts to see the ways it could be. Instead of, this is happening to me. And my brain is showing me all the reasons why I'm a victim.

Man. I think that everything that you just said is really the key that I found along with why is it happening for me. But really looking at what life is showing you and how you're feeling, letting your identities die because it's so easy to be like, no, I'm not attached to that. And not realize that you're actually really attached to something.

Super attached.

Oh, my God. I'm like, actually. Okay, so I think that that's such an important thing for everyone to do, no matter where you are in life, no matter where you are in your career. Because it's like, I feel like if I'm doing it right, I'm gonna be so many different people and experience so many different things. Quite often, like, almost, I find, like, I feel like I'm a very different person every single year. And I kind of wanna make sure that my life is, you know, supporting me in that way to become this new version of who I'm stepping into. And it's scary.

So now you're stepping into your creativity. Creative.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's. Is that accurate? Like, this year, you're stepping into your creative more. So what's an example of something you've shifted so that your life supports that?

Oh, I'm in a. Thank you for that question. I'M in a really beautiful space, but a very challenging space of. I've never said no this much, and I've never observed how much of a people pleaser I am. I knew that about me, but I didn't know how rooted that is for me to. I be afraid if people don't like me. And I know plenty of people don't like me. But this is on a very personal level too, because it's having to say no to a lot of people that I even really enjoy and like.

And do you know that a lot of people don't like you, or do you just assume that there's probably a lot of people who don't like you?

I'm assuming.

Okay, cool.

I'm telling myself a story. Yeah.

Okay, great. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So it's. I'm trying to support myself in space, like, giving myself space. And that's been. It's been really awesome, like, because I can now see the space in my calendar, which that alone, I feel like, opens up a creative door. Like, just even seeing space in your life, which is amazing.

What a lot of people don't recognize about the creative process is that most of the creative ideas that come through come through in moments where you're not actively thinking about it, where, okay, we're gonna get together as a team for an hour and brainstorm ideas. Great. And then we're all gonna go out and do our thing, the gym or whatever it is. And then it's still running in the background. But what happens is people are like, okay, we have a one hour creative meeting. And then we're going to go into this meeting and this meeting and this meeting. And the moment that, that one hour, that seed is planted. Immediately it's moving on to the next thing and not giving it the space to be watered, not giving it the space to blossom and grow. And so one of the biggest things I've recognized around the creative process is what you're doing, whether you're consciously doing it or intuitively, it's happening to support yourself as a creative, recognizing that there gets to be spaciousness where you get to dream. Like that's what creativity is, is allowing that imagination to just run. And if you think about as a kid, right, the imagination being able to run happened because there was spaciousness just to be a kid. And so I love that you're doing that. And in my own life, it's a huge aspect of what I'm designing for myself is creating the systems where the business runs. And Adam, the business owner, can Just do his thing in the mornings and then be in creativity the rest of the time.

So that's a really. You're doing so many. Number one, I first want to. If you could just share a little bit about all the different things that you're doing right now because there's a lot of exciting things.

Thank you. Yeah, I have, I coach, I work with two clients at a time. So I have that. I have my YouTube show, the Art of Choosing Love, which is. Yeah, I direct and I produce and all the things.

Tell me a little bit more about that too.

Well, the Art of Choosing Love is a conscious reality show based in personal development of my life. And its ethos is really about showing people that choosing Love is cool and fun and sexy and that what does it actually look like to navigate life using love as a compass? Because I was having so many people come up to me after my spoken word poetry shows and saying thank you so much. I've been hearing this message of I need to love myself more or I should choose love more. But I didn't know what that meant. What does that actually look like? And we have so many people saying it all starts with loving yourself. Great. What does that look like?

Because they don't have that example. Like we don't have our parents to look at. A lot of us don't have our friends. We. We can't look at really media or we don't get to actually in the day to day, what does that look.

Like in a day to day, in the little moments in between the big milestones, what does choosing Love look like? And I recognize that where I feel my unique willingness is, is that I believe that love is embodied in me. I actually believe that in every moment I'm choosing love to the best of my ability. And I believe it so much that I'm willing to. To put a camera on every moment and make nothing off limits so that you can see what's happening in those breakdowns. You can see what's happening in the frustration. You can see and how I show up in that so that you can apply that to your own life. I'm not telling you you're going to do this because how love looks for you, the loving choice in any given moment is unique to you. I can't tell you that's the loving choice or that's the loving one. You get to decide that. And, and it looks different for everyone. But there are some commonalities. There's a way for you to get reference points of, oh, that's what it looked like there. Awesome. And now apply it to your own life. And so that's kind of the point of why I created the show. And we're a full time traveling production team all around the world. We're leaving for Costa Rica in February, Bali in March, maybe Jordan and Lebanon in April, like full blown. And so I have that show. I have my podcast, the Deep Dive and I have have my spoken word poetry show. Permission to think freely. I have my album of spoken word poetry that I tour in ceremony called Permission. I have this music career that I'm embarking on, learning how to DJ in order for Burning Man. Yeah, all of those things. And meanwhile running this team of I think not full time, and I think we have eight people or something like that. And being the CEO of that at the same time has been been pretty interesting.

How do you switch modes? Because we all have to switch modes. First of all, can we call on creativity? Can you actually schedule it? Because there are times I'm like, dang, this might be the only day I get to sit down and write for this thing that I'm doing that I want to be doing. And the pressure can be healthy because sometimes I'd be like, well, maybe I'll just go to the beach again and get inspired. But I don't have my pen with me. But can you call on it? And how do you compartmentalize? And now you're like, okay, now I'm putting this hat on. So what do your weeks look like when you're doing that? That's a lot of stuff.

Well, I can tell you what I'm designing right now. How about that? Because I've been figuring it out and I don't feel like I'm an expert. I can tell you what I feel like is most conducive to me from experience now and how I'm setting it up, which is I will be checking my email twice and a day. Okay, I will check my email in the morning and I will check my email in the evening. And so I will also check our project management software, Asana and go in there. And every morning I will get in there. So what I know is my mornings, I know for myself, I'm more productive in that logical, linear, analytical mind. In the mornings, that's just me. I wake up and I'm like, whoa. And I got like all that stuff. And so I want to design it where by 11am 12 at the latest, I'm done with emails, project management, all of the logistics. I'm done with that. Then after, by the way, that's after my morning practice of meditation and stretching and stuff. Then let's say ideally 11am to 2 or 3, that's when I'm in my social. Let's do podcasts, let's do meetings, lunch meetings, that sort of thing. Because I'm in that daytime. Good energy.

Yeah.

Phone calls, podcasts, et cetera. Between that time, by 3pm each and every day, I am shutting off all of that and being creative. That means playing music, writing poetry, reading books, like whatever that looks like for me. I will check my email one more time at the end of the day in case there's anything that's important that I want to move forward in the night because there's so many different time zones and my COO is in London and that sort of stuff. Stuff. And I've set it up where it's going to go through two filters. Any email that comes in goes through two filters before it ever gets to me. So I know that the emails I'm dealing with in the morning and the evening are important. And if anyone needs something in a shorter time window than 24 hours, they need to call me. And so I'm designing that because what that does is allow me not to. What I recognize I was doing was throughout the entire day, I was thinking I should check my email in case there's something. Because not knowing what's important or what's not important, at any moment something important could come in and it was taking bandwidth up. It was keeping me in this CEO role and not being able to fully release into artist creative. And by setting this goal for the Burning Man DJ set and creating that amount of music in that window of time, I get to prioritize it. It's forcing my hand to prioritize it. Otherwise I'm not going to be able to execute. It's not going to happen. And the entire world is going to see that. And so anyway, that's what I'm designing because I recognize for me it's about being in the frequency of creativity. And so if I allow myself every day time, if it's 3 to 9pm, 10pm, 11pm every single day, I know I'm going to be be hours in creative space. Some days that might look like writing poetry, some days it might look like playing music, some days it might be practicing DJing. I'm not going to be strict about that. And I know that I've created the space every day to be creative.

I love that. I think that's so powerful. Even for people who just switching modes from parent to running a business, or to a lot of people who need to create content as well. And it's just. How do you structure your day to dance within all that? Because some days it's like, man, I feel like I need this whole day to be creative sometimes. And that's not really the truth for me, but that's what I used to think. I was like, I need days and days marked off. Which is so funny. I did that once for Danette's thing to write this poem. I had, like. I'm not kidding you. I had, like five days marked off.

To work on the poem.

Yeah. And it came through in like an hour. Like.

But did it come through in an hour because you had created the spaciousness.

Yeah.

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah, totally.

That just allow your system to be like, okay, I got a time.

Yeah.

And it came through. As opposed to. If you. If you had known it only be an hour and you only scheduled an hour, would you have gone into that? Like, okay, I have an hour. And that becomes. Like we said, the pressure becomes stress.

Yeah.

Right.

I can't even tell you the level of trust, though, because it's not even. I can't describe how it even really happens yet because it's just like. I just have to be like, somebody take the wheel.

Yeah. Spirit driven.

Because this self doesn't feel capable of that sometimes. So it's like going into another realm. Okay. I'm looking at my clock and I could. I have. So this is going to have to. I'm going to need a part two, because I really. For real, like, there's so much there that I'm still, like, left hanging a.

Bit after achieving the goal at Bernie, man of dj.

We're gonna do it.

Like, did it happen for real?

You're coming back and you're gonna talk about that. So. All right, so I would love to hear some of your poetry. But first of all, if. Are you still feeling good for that?

Yeah, always.

Amazing. But before you start, because I think that's a beautiful way to end. I would love. Is there anything that's coming up for you that you want to share with people? Like, any last words of advice around maybe putting something out or their creativity or someone who doesn't have maybe believe that they are quite what they need to be yet?

I believe the biggest message that I am carrying with me right now in my own life by stepping into what I'm stepping into for season two, is that anything is possible. I believe that everything that we see on this planet right now, that's amazing. And everything that we may think is harmful, but. But all of it started by someone believing it was possible, Right? Oh, we're going to be able to fly. The Wright Brothers, like, yes, they thought it was possible, and somehow then it happened. The only limitation to what's actually possible for you, the listening. Listening right now, the only thing that's limiting you is your own imagination. If you believe it's possible, that means that it is. There's a way that it can happen. That's why you think it's possible. And so I fully want to encourage everybody to keep dreaming. Let that imagination just pour out of you. Give yourself space to dream each and every night. Allow yourself to be like, okay, it's okay that I'm not currently living the life I want to be living. It's okay that I'm not the person that I want to be yet. That's okay. And I know that what I want to be living and who I want to be is possible. And I know that I'm getting there closer and closer every single day. And I'm going to continue to dream about that. And by dreaming about that, your brain will start to put the pieces together about how to get there. And you don't need to know the how. What I fully believe is that the universe will always give you the next step. So many people don't take the next step because they're waiting to see the third and the fourth. But you can't even see the third and the fourth until you've taken the first and the second, because that's gonna give you the information you need to even understand those directions. And so I believe fully that if you sit and think, this is my dream life. This is what I want, it will become clear what the first step is. And then you just take that and take it one step at a time.

So true. It's been so true for my life. Thanks for that reminder for me too.

I could do it over and over.

And still be like. But I wanna. Can I get a PE peek at the fourth step?

Can I just get a hint that the fourth step isn't going to be awful? Yeah.

Oh. So do you know what you want to share?

Yeah, I'm going to share the poem that went viral because it's a message that every time I say it, it's just as much for me as anyone else.

I love that one.

Yeah. And it's called, you are who you've been looking for. You are who you've been looking for. So stop looking for more. Unless you're looking in a mirror because it's about time for you to see clearly that you are who you've been looking for. And that empty feeling you got, that hole in your chest? You only got that feeling because you think you're not blessed with everything you need. You see, we live in a consumerist society, which means they need you to buy stuff. And the easiest way to sell it is to tell you you're not enough. Buy this car, you'll get girls. Buy this bra, you'll get guys. And we're seeing it so much that we start believing these lies. But the truth is. Yeah, the truth is the makeup they're selling to make you feel prettier is the same makeup you buy to stop feeling shittier about this lie they keep telling you that you are not enough. And what about the movies we watch all the shows on tv. The more I watch, the more I see. I need you to complete me. Huh? Huh? And yes, love is the answer. Love is the key. But if you can't love yourself, how can you ever love me? And loving yourself? What does that even mean? Like massages and selfies and that sort of thing? Because the more I think about it, the more it feels weird. I've always thought that self love was something to be feared. I've been taught that arrogance is bad and vanity, it's not good. And even my bracelets are telling me to act how Jesus would. So what should I do? How should I act? I'm supposed to love myself, but how do I even do that? Well, I got a trick that I picked up from a friend who noticed that I was quick to defend her when she would say something negative about herself. She'd say, I'm so dumb. And I'd say, you're so brilliant. She'd say, I'm so weak. And I'd say, you're so resilient. And when she said, I feel ugly and I said, you look beautiful, she asked me why I was so dutifully filling up her cup constantly and yet treating my own cup so irresponsibly. Because when I looked in the mirror, my voice was quite clear. You're ugly, you're too thin, your hairline's receding, and you got a pimple on your chin. And that was when she gave me a piece of advice that changed my life. She gave me a hug and she said, treat yourself like someone you love. Treat yourself like someone you love. And now I had been Standing. But I needed to be sitting. Because I couldn't believe that I had been letting myself keep forgetting that I was who I'd been looking for. And deep in my core, I knew it was time to stop looking for more. Until I could look through all my fear and look into a mirror and see clearly that the man looking back at me is the only one who can make me happy. And I am already enough. And I'm not any more special or unique than you. That is why I'm here to speak to you. You are already enough. And when you start to see that, you will start to be that your world will get brighter, your load will get lighter. And you can see that with life. You can be a lover, not a fighter. And that life, you deserve it because you are worth it. And there's no point in letting yourself keep forgetting because no matter what you say or do, you are perfect. And so today, I hope I leave you with a direction correction, away from the flaws you see in your reflection. They aren't flaws to me. They are simply protection against all the doubts you have of your perfection. So start today. Take a good long look in the mirror and say, I am who I've been looking for. For.

That just like in person, just I. It's made me cry several times, but it's so good. Thank you. Like, I. I truly want to thank you for reminding me you're one of those people. And I know you've had many in your life. And it's such a gift when people step into who they truly are. And to your g, like, this is what I want people to here when you decide to step in like you have stepped in, you light someone else's flame when they have forgotten. And you are one of those people for me, that just reminds me who I am.

Thank you.

And we're really awesome, like, aren't we?

When we do that, I believe that we are nature. We're. We've. We've gotten this idea that we're separate from it. Like, nature's out there and we're humans and we're destroying nature. Like, we are human. Human nature, nature. And what lights you up, what actually gets you excited to be alive, is the reason you're here. Nature doesn't make mistakes. You're a part of a whole. You're a part of nature. There's a purpose for you. And follow that highest joy, follow that highest excitement. I'm really touched that I could be that spark for people. It means a lot to me because what we, I think what we both recognize is to do that requires courage. It requires a willingness to take the arrows. It requires a willingness to be foolish and be seen as having failed or whatever, and setting big goals and owning them and all of that requires courage. And I want to remind people that you can't have courage if you don't feel fear. And so that ability to lean into that I admire in people like you as well. And it's really cool because you and I have known of each other other for a very long time and only in the last maybe year have really started to, like, get in person and meet each other and talk and drop in more and more. And it doesn't surprise me at all that it's as both of us have stepped more into our creatorship and ownership of that aspect of ourselves. So I'm really honored and humbled and excited to be continual fuel for each other's flame and direct support for you in your creative process in whatever way.

That looks like, like, I'm so grateful for you. Like, I was. This podcast for me was just like, soul food. So for real. And I. I'm gonna share really quick. Like, you were. You were someone I was so intimidated by. So intimidated. Oh, my God, I could hardly even be around you without being like, I can't even tell him that I'm, like, even thinking of stepping into what he's doing because mine is so stupid. And, like, even though I knew I was supposed to do it, it. But it was so easy to get around someone that I thought was so bright and almost like, I almost didn't want to be around you because I was so uncomfortable. So. And now I was just sitting here during this podcast, like, wow, the things we're afraid of are the very things that, like, can completely remind us of exactly where we're supposed to be. So I was so grateful to spend this hour with you and be like, damn, life is so funny and awesome.

Totally. And truthfully, your piece was great. Great. I thought it was really good. I gave you the only note that I had, which is memorize it. Memorize it. You still haven't memorized it. I'm telling you, I am.

I'm making space for it.

When you memorize it, it will change the entire experience. It will bring more of your essence out. So that for everyone who wants to do any speeches or whatever, I recommend that because it creates the space for more of your essence in the moment to come out.

I can definitely feel that, like, even when I memorize a paragraph, I'm like, oh, that was fun. What would it be like if I knew the whole thing?

Huh?

Well, I just want to. To acknowledge you and just say, dang, I loved this podcast. I'm gonna listen to this again.

Thank you.

Thank you for everything and just for you being you. Oh, and I always end on one last question, but I was so, like, into your poem, I almost forgot.

So hit me with it.

You are in passing with a stranger, like, 30 seconds. Whether it's in an elevator or on the street, and it's someone you've never met before, and they look at you and they ask you, how can I make myself happy? What would you say?

Say to remember that always, in all ways, you are seen, you are heard, and you are loved. If you can remember that, you'll be okay.

Thank you so much. And you guys, if you loved this episode as much as I did, make sure you share it with a friend. And until next time, earn your happy. Bye, everyone. Thank you guys so much. Thank you so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review. If you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought and honest comment, tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again, guys. Bye.

Bye.