345: Happiness Doesn’t Last– Here’s What To Do In Between

At the end of the day, what is true for you needs to get out into the world and the world will give you the feedback and you decide what works and what doesn't.

Welcome to the Earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author.

Each week I'll bring you a guest.

Or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships.

We don't wait until we're ready for.

Someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn, own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me?

Here we go. Welcome back to the earn your happy podcast. And it's time for another quickie because there is always time to fit in inspiration. And some days I come and sit down on this microphone and I'm like, how am I ever going to fill this 10 or 15 minutes? And then other days I come up here and I'm thinking, how am I ever going to condense this? Like, I think this is a really long podcast and I think there's like three different main ideas going on in this thought process. How am I going to share this? And today is one of those days. I have been just like really giving myself some space. And what happens when you give yourself space is these beautiful thoughts come in and just a lot of different things that start to shake up your life and different thought processes and ideas around the way that you've been living or the way that you've been thinking, especially if you're reading or doing new things. It's really interesting how you start to reevaluate your life. And I think that this reevaluation can only come in times when you've given yourself either a lot of space or when you are in a time of extreme distress and you are either your back is up against the wall or you are so overbooked and overworked and overexerted, over exhausted, all of the over words. And I think that these are two really big times in your life where you are reassessing where you're at. And I think this is so vital. And a lot of people get very confused with thinking that stead and consistency are what a good life is. And while we get to enjoy those and that is part of a good life, we can't fully understand what A good life is without what I talked about, without understanding that you're always going to have these different extremes. Even if you look at the weather patterns in the world, it's kind of like we don't thoroughly get to enjoy and reap what comes from the earth and what happens in the world without extremes, right? Without extreme heat, without extreme cold, all of the in betweens, the ups, the downs, everything that comes and that's actually happening when these things are happening. So what I want to talk about today is a bit of finding balance from the extremes. And I'm not sure if you guys have been listening to the podcast if this is the first time you've heard it. I definitely had a year last year where while it was amazing and I was accomplishing things in my life that I have always wanted to do, putting a book out, starting different courses, Chris doing his masterminds for the first time, me speaking at events, I've never spoken out of 10,000 plus people. Lots of different events, lots of different speaking, so many things going on and dreams coming true all at once. And while I would have loved to really enjoy that journey a lot more, which in hindsight, I thoroughly enjoyed it and I'm so grateful for it, my year, last year was so extreme and I did not have even what felt like one day to myself that I really learned a new threshold. And I also learned that having that extreme year, which was also previous to many years, that also felt this way, which I talk about a lot, saying, when people are like, you know, if they want to get their business off the ground or they want to really completely change their life, I do believe that you're going to have to push your limits and find your thresholds and be working and doing a lot more than what you think is even remotely possible or within your realm of what's possible in your life. Because you're going to have to become a new person. And in order to do that, you do have to push the edges and you are going to go to extremes. So as much as I would love to tell you, no, you can just sit in meditation and do a few actions here and there and you're going to get everything that you want. If your life is going to dramatically change and you have to change your environment, perhaps change your friends, perhaps change a job that is going to take everything that you possibly have inside of you in order to shift that. Now, like I said, this is done in small amounts every single day, but it is an every single day thing. And some days are going to feel super extreme. Now, going back to this idea of you are finding the balance from the extremes. I will say that this year, for the past four months, you know, I. I've been intentional since probably end of December with starting to look at calendar for beginning of year and clearing it and saying no and getting really fierce with my time. Because last year I started to feel very resentful. And the only person that I could get upset with was me, because I was saying yes to a lot of things. Just about every great opportunity that was coming my way, I was saying yes to. And this taught me so incredibly much. It taught me, like I said, what I was capable of. It taught me, you know, that we can get done so much more than anything that we think in a year's time if we just go straight for the things that scare us the most. And that's what I did last year. So not only did I feel busy, but I always felt uncomfortable and sick to my stomach, which I'm sure many of you can understand. Like, it was a year of extreme growth. And when I say extreme growth, I mean I was anxious every single day. No matter how much meditation I did, no matter how much prayer I did, I never felt enough. I never felt smart enough, I never felt good enough. I always felt like I was being stretched beyond my limits. I was super scared to be speaking at all of the things I was speaking at. I was super unsure about the products that I was putting out because they were new to me. I was truly in expansion mode in every single way. Now, at the end of last year, I was, like, so burnt out. And I don't recommend this necessarily, but I do think that this for some people is. It's required learning on their journey. And if you're like me, this is how I learn. I literally learn in the extremes, and it's just how I have always been. So if you don't resonate with this, you don't have to take it in, right? You can eat the fruit and spit out the seeds. I love that saying. But for me, it's where I learned. It was truly taking on so much that at the end of last year that I said, okay, that's it. Like, I'm going to the other extreme now. I'm going to clear my schedule and make room for what is trying to come through. Because I felt something trying to come through, but I couldn't even hear myself right, because when I wasn't prepping for something or working, I was still in the mode of, okay, well, I'm going to read. I'm going to binge on podcasts. I'm going to listen to all these things. I'm going to learn. I'm going to go to Masterminds, I'm going to do all of this stuff. And so I was filling every moment with learning or doing something. And to be totally honest with you, it was still coming from somewhat of a place. And this is not bad. This is called how we learn. If we can just all admit this to ourselves. If this is you, it was still coming from a place of not enoughness and seeking validation. Now, while some of it definitely was. I am, like, crazy about learning. I love to learn. I love to go and push my limits and see what I'm capable of. Like, that fuels me. I'm obsessed with it. But there were parts of it where I was, like, extreme binging on these things and extreme saying yes to everything right. Even when it wasn't the right thing for me. My Patrice Washington just recently said this, and I shared this with you on another podcast. You can have the right message in the wrong ministry. And that quote to me just blew my mind because I spent a lot of last year saying the right message. And when I say right, I mean it's my message that was given to me. It was my truth. And I'm saying this message to people who don't necessarily did not come to this event that they were at for the message that I was giving. Does it mean it wasn't a valuable message to them? No. But does it mean it was what their expectation was? No. So sometimes when we're not received the way that we want to be received or perceived, sometimes it can just be, yes, you have the right message, but you may not be. You might have been saying yes to too many things. Maybe your ego said yes, or maybe you said yes for expansion to understand what it feels like to have the right message in the wrong ministry. Or maybe you said yes because your message did need to be tweaked. Like, all of these answers will be revealed to you later. But you. You have to say sometimes you have to say yes to learn that. So now I'm so clear on where I want to be speaking and what I want to be saying. And none of it was wrong. It was all right looking back in hindsight. So I think it's so important to know that there are going to be these moments in your life where you just, at the end of the day, if you can hear in my voice, like, I'm not mad about it, I'm not mad at myself for burning myself out. It's where I learned. I'm not mad at myself for saying yes to everything and getting this amazing lesson of, wow, yeah, that was the right message. So that's confirmed. Which made me feel really good. But it wasn't to the right people. That's why that didn't feel that good. Or do you need to tweak your message? Like, getting really real with yourself? Like, where could have something been switched? Or where could you have said something that maybe you could have thought of them and really worked it into your message? Or was that even what you should be doing? Maybe you shouldn't be thinking about them as much. And maybe it was just the message's time to come out, but you had to find the right audience. Like, these are all questions that you have to figure out and ask, but we can't figure them out without failing. So last year had so many successes, but it also had so many massive failures that I would never consider a failure, right? And I just saw a Michael Jordan quote. It said, I'm willing to fail all of the time and that's why I'm successful. And I love that. Because I'm willing to fail all of the time. And that's why I'm successful, is because I'm constantly learning. So when people are trying to sit at home and perfect things, I'm like, this is. You're. You're not going to get any better and you're never going to get the right answer. Trying to study or seek or find more or before you put something out. Because at the end of the day, what is true for you needs to get out into the world. And the world will give you the feedback. And you decide what works and what doesn't. You decide where you need to change and what doesn't need to change, or you decide if you need to just go straight to your audience instead of needing to be validated first or perfect something, but actually get the message out for the people who need it the most. Right? Cutting out the middleman. So learning in the extremes. That was me last year. Now back to this idea of clearing my schedule. I am getting so fierce with my nose, which feels so incredibly good. And I think a lot of that is just coming from a place of not only needing this message to come through, but also needing to or. Or understanding how incredibly precious this life is. And there's a quote that Chris just told me this morning. He was not sure who said it. I was trying to find the person who said it? But I love it so much. Happiness comes and goes like the wind, so you might as well find something interesting to do in the meantime. Happiness comes and goes like the wind, so you might as well find something interesting to do in the meantime. You guys, we can't predict even when our happiness is going to come. I don't know about you, but I've done some of the happiest things on earth, AKA Disneyland. I don't know, just using it as an example. Accomplish my dreams, accomplish certain goals, and there were times that I didn't feel happy. It doesn't mean all of them. I didn't feel happy. Some I felt totally elated, but I can honestly say a good 30% of them, I was like, wow, okay, well, that just popped my bubble. Because everything that I thought was going to be hinged on this, right? My happiness expectation on this goal or this thing that I was doing is not happening. So happiness comes and goes like the wind. It really does. And then there are those moments where you are just looking at the most simple thing or you are just having the best conversation in line at a coffee shop and you're like, I am so happy right now. This is like the most beautiful day. And you're smelling the first. Like that first smell of springtime and the birds chirping, and you just feel like you're walking on air for no particular reason. That's what it. That's. That's all it is. The moments are fleeting. And they are. It's. It's the time in between that will determine your life and what it means and truly find something interesting to do in the meantime. Whether that's to give back to people, whether that's to learn something you guys, humans love to learn. So a few things that I'm doing right now, I'm taking guitar lessons. So I'm taking guitar lessons two to three times a week. And I'm also learning Italian right now. And I'm obsessed. So I'm just learning from Pimsleur. But it's 30 minutes a day. And for any of you who are like, what is pimsleur? It's just P I M S L U E R I believe. And it's just a app that's like $20 a month. It's amazing way. And by the way, this is not an ad, but I should get them to sponsor me. And I'm just learning for 30 minutes every single day and making time for it. So I'm like, what's important to me? Like what feels really good? When am I most happy? And I am most happy when I am learning. It's the times in between that it's like, what can I do to make me happy? Why don't I feel happy? What's wrong? What's missing? Okay, well, maybe you're not learning, or maybe you're not doing things that satisfy you, or maybe you're not doing. Maybe you're not spending time with people that you enjoy. Like, happiness comes and goes like the wind. You can't really freaking control it. So you might as well do something interesting in between. Do something interesting. What is that? And it can't just all be work. It cannot all be work. So make sure that you are carving out time. And for anyone who's like, I don't have, there's definitely things that you could be saying no to. And I want you to think about it right now. What? Is something off of the top of your head that you're saying yes to that you are resenting right now? That yes should be a no. And if you're like, yeah, but that person won't like me, okay, that is also life. Like so many. What is it that we always say on here? Just like my friend Rachel Luna says, it is okay to disappoint people as long as it's disappointing people in your truth, right? As long as it's disappointing people in your truth. You're not doing it just to disappoint people. You're doing it because you are saying yes to your authentic path and purpose. So if you're feeling really resentful of someone or there's like really bad energy around something, it doesn't mean they're bad or the thing is bad. It means that it has overstepped the boundary of your life and theirs. So what's happening is their. Basically what they want for their life is now coming into yours. And you're no longer just living your. You're not. You're no longer living your life. You're actually taking on a responsibility that was probably meant to be theirs or. Or a problem that is meant to be theirs figured out on their own. That was tongue twisting.

2026 is the year that you launch your business. It's the year that you've become the boss. You become the leader. That idea that you have that has been eating at you forever that just will not leave you alone is going to come to life. Maybe it's something that someone tells you you should always sell or a store you've already designed in your Head. And with Shopify, 2026 is when you finally make it happen. Shopify gives you everything you need to sell online and in person. Millions of entrepreneurs have already made this leap from household name to first time business owners. Just getting started you guys. I use Shopify for glossy and I remember when they sent me my little shopping bag celebrating my 10,000 sales and I literally cried because I was so scared to take the leap. And I'm so glad that I did and that I use Shopify. It gives you all tools to easily build your dream store. You can choose from hundreds of beautiful templates that you can customize to match your brand setup is fast with Shopify's built in AI tools that write product descriptions and headlines and help you edit photos. So marketing is built in too. You can create email and social campaigns that reach customers wherever they scroll. So as you grow, Shopify grows with you. You can handle more orders, expand to new markets and do it all from the same dashboard in 2026. Stop waiting and start selling with Shopify. Sign your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com happy go to shopify.com happy that shopify.com happy hear your first cha ching this new year with Shopify by your side. There are so many challenges to business that I don't want starting to be.

One of them for you. And when you want more.

When you're starting a business, you need Northwest Registered Agent because you get access to thousands of free guides, guides, tools and legal forms to help you launch and protect your business. And it's all in one place. You can build your complete business identity with Northwest today. Northwest Registered Agent has been helping small business owners and entrepreneurs launch and grow business for nearly 30 years. They're the largest registered agent and LLC service in the US with over 1500 corporate guides. Real people who know your local laws and can help you and your business business every step of the way. You can sign up for free account to begin managing your business hub with lawyer drafted operating agreements, bylaws, resolutions, membership certificates, bills of sale and more at no cost. Northwest makes life easy for business owners. They don't just help you form your business, they give you the free tools you need after you form it. Like operating agreements, meeting minutes and thousands of how to guides that explain the complicated ins and outs of running a business. And and let me tell you this is life changing cause I had no idea how much went into this. So don't wait. Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business Identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes. Visit www.northwestregisteredagent.com Earn free and start building something amazing. Get more with Northwest registered agent at www.northregisteredagent.com forward/, earn free.

So that's the challenge is we are human and we want to be loved, but in this life we cannot be loved by everyone. And you just better make damn sure that you love yourself and you love your life. And I'm going to leave you with this last message because this is so vital. I Last week I had somebody in my life who I adored pass away. And he was my first, my first love, my first boyfriend from like 13 to age 19. And although we didn't talk anymore, I talked to him about three years ago. It's just the craziest thing to have somebody that young pass away in your life. It really makes you really assess what you're doing with your existence and what it all means, right? And the impermanence of life and how beautiful the impermanence of life is because it makes you wake up to your life. And, and if you've not been God, I don't want to say gifted, but if you've not experienced something like that, it's really saying, what does my existence mean? And by the way, I'm not sure how he passed, and I think that's even more challenging. But just reminding yourself that every single day is a gift and not to get so caught up in comparison or spending time on social media and just really remembering that you choose your existence and are you living to people please or are you living to really follow through on the purpose that was given to you in your life, because that is truly where you will find. I don't want to just use the word happiness, but that's where you'll find what it means to be you and why you're here and to truly give a hundred percent of yourself to the few people in your life that mean the most to you. So what does your existence mean and what do you want to be doing with it? And I think it's so easy to get caught up in the world of social media comparison, wasting time. And it's okay to do all of those things, right? As long as you make sure that you are doing some of the things that actually are interesting to you because those are the gifts. And days will pass by and weeks will pass by and months will pass by and years will pass by. But if you don't sit in these questions and if you don't start scheduling and you don't start taking action. Just one thing a week, you guys. One thing a week will dramatically change your life. And like I shared with you, these are not big things I'm doing for 30 minutes, like twice a week I'm learning guitar and I feel like a drastically different person because I'm happiest learning and I love music. 30 minutes a day, I'm doing Italian lessons. Will I stick with this? I'm not sure, but right now I am super happy doing it. So what's one thing that you could add to your day that would make you feel like you are living your life that make you feel like you're doing something interesting? I could really talk about this whole people pleasing thing for like a really long time, but I think that needs to be a whole other podcast because that is just. That is the theme over and over and over again. But I'll tell you, the happier that you are with your life and with yourself, the less other opinions. Opinions matter. The more interesting things you are doing in your life and you are seeking in your life, the less others opinions will matter. So you guys, I am so grateful for you and I'm just like beyond thrilled to be sitting in front of a microphone with people listening on the other end and that we get to create this. That one day I sat down and said, oh my God, will people listen? I don't know what they're gonna think. This might suck. Oh my God. And just kept putting it out with no idea who's on the other side or no idea of my numbers or what that even meant and just doing it because it meant that or it was something that I wanted to do because it was on my heart. So I pray that you start something that is on your heart because it's the key to what will change your life. So thank you guys for listening and tuning in and as always, I'm so grateful. And until next time, you guys earn your help happy, do something interesting. And remember, happiness comes and goes like the wind. So you might as well be doing something interesting in the meantime. Bye. Bye.

Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment, tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again, guys.

Bye Bye.