346: Embrace Your Body, Forgive Your Past and Free Yourself with Sarah Nicole Landry

We don't have to save everybody. We don't have to convince everybody that we're real and authentic. Not everybody is going to trust us. Not everybody is going to like us. And that's been a hard pill to swallow.

Welcome to the earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul, and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves, get ready to earn, own, and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Hey, everyone. Welcome back to the show. My guest today was somebody that I stumbled upon literally on the most popular page on Instagram. So you know how it shows you everybody else's posts and like, the most liked or engaged upon posts for that week. And I just saw this beautiful woman who was standing there with just such vibrant energy in this beautiful photo. And I clicked on it and read the message. And that particular day, I was in comparison mode and I was down in the spiral of just comparing myself to everybody else and what they were doing. And this post immediately snapped me back to reality. And I started following her right away and her post kept coming up and there was so much about life and body positivity and just she shows herself in such real, raw, vulnerable ways. And I found myself falling in love with these pictures and these posts because it felt like a reminder of my truth. And the more I started following her, I ended up sharing on my Insta stories one of her posts that really moved me. And I felt like if this moved me, everybody needs this post. And I got so many messages thanking me for sharing her and sharing that post that they need to see this. They need to see the realness, the rawness, and they need to hear it. And that's when I was like, I got to talk to this girl because I really like her. I was like, she has no idea that she's like one of my social media, you know, besties. So I decided that I had to reach out and interview her. And you guys, I was not disappointed. She is just like your best girlfriend. And that is Ms. Sarah Reynolds. She has lost £100. She changed her relationship with food in her body. She found herself faced with the challenges of single motherhood and unresolved self hate. She set out on a journey of self love and opened herself to body positivity. And in the midst of overcoming and learning to live in love again in all ways, she met and married Shane, who's her bearded prince, she calls him. So Sarah and Shane and their three kids live every day to the fullest, making her chaotic life happily ever after, she says. So I really love hearing just about what she's doing daily. That is really helping her to come back to that self love, to share herself authentically. And in this conversation, we talk a lot about body positivity. And no matter where you're at, this is really going to, I think, help you root down and remember who you are and what your truth is when we get in that comparison mode. And not just that, if you are anybody who's on social media or if you are building a business or if you have, okay, this is everyone. This isn't just like, if you have a business, this is everyone. If you've ever had critics, if you've ever had trolls, if you ever have people in your life being rude to you or being mean to you and how she's handling that and what she's really working on. So I loved every single part of this conversation. So get started. Sarah, I'm so excited to have you on the show and actually talking to you and not typing to you.

I know real well, like, as real life as it gets for across social media friendships, right?

Oh, I'm so excited about today because I have no clue even how I stumbled upon you, like, none at all. But you have one of those pages, and I know that everybody can understand this where, like, you actually feel the inner. And I think some things just really resonated with me with what you had written. And I was like, I'm gonna follow this chick. She seems absolutely amazing. And then I kept, like, you kept coming up and everything that you were writing, I'm like, this. There is so much more here than what I'm even seeing on these few posts that are coming up. So I was like, oh, my God, I have to have her on the podcast. And that was my immediate thought. But then a bunch of time went by and I was just like, okay, I have to make this happen. Because I had shouted you out, and so many people responded to those messages that I was like, okay, there has to be a conversation here, because clearly she's hitting a nerve with so many people. So here you are. I'm so excited to hear.

Yeah, here I am. And it's so funny because I have a friend who is like, a huge fan of yours, and for years he has said, you've got to connect with Lori harder. Like, you and her are so alike. You even look alike. Like, I swear, you guys are like the same person in two different places with the same types of messages. And I was like, okay, whatever. Looked you up. Totally loved you, sort of following you, all that stuff. And then when it came up that I got invited on the podcast, he was just like, I knew it.

Like that.

Years in the making. I feel like this one friend, like, manifested this for us. So really happy to be here, honestly. Just excited to have a different audience to kind of share some stories with. And, yeah, I appreciate the opportunity.

Oh, my God. Well, let's just send a big thank you to your friend because that's awesome.

Yeah, Big shout out to Bob. Let's give him a little shout out.

Thank you, Bob. We're so grateful, everyone. Thanks, Bob. Today. All right, so I'm going to start with just some quick questions before we dive into your story.

Let's do it.

All right. What are you most excited about right now?

Right now, I'm really excited for launching my own podcast and that. Okay, I know this is like a rapid fire question, but I was not excited about that for a long time, and I'm finally to the point of being excited, so.

Oh, I love that. And you know what? I'm terrible with rapid fire. I'm like, here's my quick question, but here's the backstory. So this is. It's great. Just talk however much you want. All right. What feels challenging to you right now?

I think just feeling really anxious. Sometimes in social media, whenever you put something out there that's very vulnerable, there's part of me that's getting a growing anxiety about the response. Even if it's that one negative comment, I'm really cognizant of how that's become affecting of me. So that's just something I'm really. I'm worriedly working through, and I think that that's okay to be working through it. It's just. Yeah. There right now.

Oh, my God. Can I tell you, I'm in the exact same space, and it's like. It is like. I mean, it's truly affecting me. So I'm literally trying to put a lot of energy into figuring it out and like.

Yeah, truly. Yeah.

And it's so funny.

You know, we talk about, like, putting how we want to be more real on social media and less filters. But the problem is, is every time we do that, the response is when people are unfiltered in how they speak to us, then we become filtered in how we respond back. So I sometimes feel like I have so much to say, and then I myself down and out of it. So I've been trying to, like, push through that feeling a little bit and just keep myself as genuine as possible. And even if I'm a little bit wrong or a little bit misread sometimes to allow that human error in there in the air of, like, getting the greater message across.

So, yeah, like, knowing you can't always put context around every freaking thing that you write.

Absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're like, I know, but I couldn't, like, write 47 pages about this. I know. I only have so many words. Okay, so do you have an overall word for yourself this year that's kind of like pulling you through or that really makes you feel empowered?

My overall word, I call this my year of listening. So I'm listening this year. I think in the past, it's always been me just empowering others, and I'm really pushing through fear and stuff like that. And this is my year of listening to what I feel is maybe like, my own heart, what other people are sharing with me. Just, like, really taking in the experiences around me in a different way. Not just trying to figure everything out right away, but just, like, pause and a listen. I feel like coming through so many different changes. There has. There's so much kind of like, on the up and up and just taking a moment to, like, talking about the podcast and saying, like, I didn't want to do one myself, but I had to listen to my audience saying, you need to be doing this. And then I was like, okay, this is my season of, like, sitting back and listening. So I've. That's what I've kind of leaned into this year.

Oh, my God, you are going. You're. I just feel for you. Like, you're gonna love it. I just totally. Don't get me wrong, there's days where I'm like, oh, Lord. Like, it's just continual content, but freaking love. It's brought so many. It's brought my biggest blessings into my life, for sure.

I love to hear that. That's so awesome.

Oh, get ready. It is so good. Okay, what is. What do you think is, like, the weirdest quirk about you? Which I think weird is fantastic, but what's the weirdest quirk about you?

I can get really dancy about things that I'm very excited for. So it can be as simple as, like, when you get up to pee in the night. And I will run and scare. Get back into bed because I'm so excited about that feeling of being back into a warm bed. Or if I eat something that I'm really happy about, like, I can't help my body, like, has to move and dance to it. So I, like, get this, like, dancy response. Like, sometimes I like, my husband's like, what? And I'm like, I'm just really excited to hug you. He's just like, what's wrong with you? So I don't know if that's it, but definitely a weird little quirk that I do. He caught me the other day doing my little dancy prance back into the bedroom. And I didn't realize he was in the room. And he was like, why did you just skip into the bed? And I was like, I was just really excited after peeing.

Oh, my God. The dance response. I just had a girl ask me. She's like, how do you stop the cry response when you feel it? Maybe I have to tell her to insert, you know, the dance response instead.

Oh, my gosh. Yeah, it works. Every. It's like me, every time I try and, like, work out and stuff, if I ever do, like, at home workouts on my own, I always. Everyone's like, can you just, like, share with me what your workout routine is? I was like, I would, but it lasts for about 10 minutes. And then it's just me dancing to Britney Spears in my bedroom room. Like, there's no routine anymore.

That's if I'm ever alone in a gym. You know, when you travel in hotels that are empty, I'm always like, my husband will be lifting or doing something, and I'm just in the mirror, like, dancing to a song or lip syncing. I'm like, this is no longer. This is no longer good for you.

Everything I've ever wanted.

I know, Like, I can finally be that performer I've always wanted to be.

It's.

I know it's amazing.

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Okay, so I would love for you to share, I know that you were just saying that you have had so many changes, kind of. I'm picking up on a shorter amount of time, but I would love for you to share just a bit about your journey, what you do now and what got you to it.

Okay, for sure. So yeah, it is a bit of a twisting and turning story and I will try and keep it as concise as possible. But basically I am now a 34 year old mother of three. But back in my 20s, I was a stay at home mom. I was married at 19. I had all three kids by the time I was 25 and around the age of 28 I was sitting at 225 pounds. I was depressed, I was struggling with chronic fatigue and just a lot of issues around food, my relationship with it. I had a lot of food obsessive behaviors and I was living away from family and I think that really caused me to slip into a bit of a depression. And I think being so anonymous in a different city allowed me to just be whatever I was feeling and in an unhealthy way. So I was eating, not even kidding, like chips, like cans of Pringles for lunch. I would read. I had a year where I read 72 books in a year. Just like total escapism. So when we moved back home to my hometown, I started to kind of have these like very quickly too. I started to have these very weird moments where I was noticing how much everything had kind of gotten out of control because now I was back into a healthier place and I was noticing that, you know, I was a lot more overweight than I was really allowing myself to see. I was struggling to participate in things with my kids, not because I couldn't physically keep up, like that was part of it, but I didn't want to be in a swimsuit around them or do anything with them. So I was physically removing myself from like memories with my children. And so I really started to kind of take back my health and what I considered right. So I didn't really have a lot of money, I couldn't really do a lot of things. And I just started working out at home, honestly in my jeans. I couldn't even afford new gym clothes at that time. So I was just doing what I could with what I could and it was working. And I was really overcoming some massive hurdles when it came to my food addiction. I finally was feeling like I had control and for the first time I was combining eating better with exercise. And it was like my body was responding to it amazingly. And the pounds just dropped off. And I had lost at the end, the day of, of the first year I'd lost £80. And the following year, year and a half, I lost another 20. So I had lost in total £100. And social media noticed and it kind of started to become this story for me. It's like my weight loss story and how inspirational it was that I was able to do it at home without any like extreme things happening. But as in life goes, when you're doing healthy things, you start to reevaluate everything in your life as well. Like you're working weak spots, those dark spots, the things that are unhealthy, including relationships. And my marriage was really not in a good place. And I ended up leaving with my three kids, moving into my parents house. When I was 30, I had, I was working as a bar server and then I picked up a job on the side as well, working in an office and started to completely rebuild my life. But within that time I also was losing a lot of weight because I was now, I don't even know, like, I think stress response. My body just went really, really thin. I dropped down to 114 pounds and I'm five eight. So 114 pounds on my body was quite small. And the congratulations did not stop. Everyone was so happy for my weight and my weight loss and it started to become a bit scary for me. I was really scared of the fact that I knew I was unhealthy and now I was going to have to gain we and what am I going to do with that? How am I going to mentally wrap my head around gaining weight in a healthy way? So I started to kind of really take a step back and notice and be aware of a lot of the conversations we were having about our bodies and on social media and how perfectionism I had become with my own body. Like everything seemed like it could be something I could refine. All I wanted was like the next surgery or something that I could afford to just like erase anything of my old life. I wanted everything gone. I have really large stretch marks up to my ribs and I just wanted it all gone. So I was really struggling with just all of these things and all of these pieces. And over that following year I kind of started to shift as I was regaining. You notice that nobody really says congrats anymore. And I was like, isn't that interesting? I'm Healthier than I've ever been. Relationship wise. I'm in such a good space. I'm rebuilding my life and there's so many good things, but I'm still relying on these before and after pictures for like this validation that I'm still okay, that I like, I had this fear of like slipping. And so I started to kind of step away from that a little bit and I completely pivoted my messaging online and on social media and I started sharing things that really scared me. I started sharing the stuff like my stretch marks and my cellulite and all of these things about weight gain and what does it really mean and what does health really look like and what is diet culture teaching us versus what is self love? I started to realize that my biggest message all along was all about weight loss. And I was talking about it like it was self love. But at the end of the day, I had lost all this weight and I still had just as much self hate as I did at the beginning. And I completely had to turn that all around because I wanted to save people from, I wanted to save other women from experiencing that same despair of I've lost all the weight, I'm still not happy now what? And I truly believe if I had rooted my entire journey in a much healthier mindset and a very worthy mindset that I would have had a completely different outcome. But at the same time, I also have the opportunity to talk to people and say, you know what, I was like £225, wasn't happy. I was £114 and I wasn't happy. I found happiness in truly like working through what these perceived flaws and really, honestly, a lot of people ask, how do you get to self love? And I'm like, you have to explore your self hate. Why is it there? What is it doing? So my messaging in the last year just completely became very real and vulnerable and journeying through what that looked like for me and, and I think what shocked me the most was how many women were like, oh my gosh, I've never seen a stomach like mine until I saw yours. And I was like, oh, I had no idea anybody even looked like me. Isn't that so weird and wonderful that in this little corner of social media we're connecting with our bodies and our differences and how we can truly like, celebrate each other and our choices and what that looks like for everybody? And I was just, it's been a really, just crazy, encouraging experience. And then on a personal note, I also met my husband now and I Got married last September and now we have a little blended family. It's just me and him and my three kids and everything has like, completely went from like shambles to a rebuilt, beautiful life. And that's what we're working with now, so.

Wow.

Yeah.

Oh, my God. So many things to dig into there.

I know, I know. I like, literally unpacked six years and like, like five minutes.

I know. That's why I'm always like, this legit. Could be like a two hour podcast for me. So I'm wondering, do you ever have moments of. You know, I. I think a lot of people who have gone from either, you know, it doesn't matter if it's weight or even money or whatever it is. It's so funny how these things share so much of, you know, the same patterns and root causes and things like that. Do you have moments right now that you are still working through on like the. Is this too good to be true?

Yeah, I think there's been weird little moments where I keep waiting for, like, I've ditched the scale now. I don't really worry about that. But there's still like these weak, these weak spots and these weak moments where I still kind of like catch myself and I'm like, who do you think you are? Like, no, you're so wrong. And all this self doubt can still exist there. But what I've noticed is that used to be the bigger thing that I used to feel all the time, and now it's such a minuscule part of my life. I still deal with it, but it's not as large and as overtaking as it used to be. Often consider it like the bully in my mind and sometimes it takes just like physically shutting it down and walking away. It's completely just a lot of like those little things. Yeah. But like, I think there's always like that fear of what if I'm like, who am I? What am I doing? Like, what if I get it wrong? What if I say the wrong thing? It just, I think just kind of like allowing myself to be wrong has been a really humbling experience. Now looking back at some of my older messaging and I've left it all up there just being like, you know, what if you really want to get to know me? Like, my Instagram has been a journal through six years of all of this change. And I'm not taking down those old things that I said because I think that it's important for people to see the journey through it. But yeah, there's still gonna be Those, like, fear points. And I think they'll always exist, and we're always gonna be challenged to work through them.

Oh, man. Okay, so shutting it down and walking away, I think as far as, like, mindset and being able to, like, turn it off, for me, it's almost. It is just almost exactly like what you said. Like, I have to almost acknowledge it and be like, no. And, like, shift my body, like, actually physically change something or I have to walk away from it. It's like a thought. And if I stay in that position or where I'm at or in front of the damn mirror, whatever I'm doing, it's like I have to be like, what? No. So what do you do when you're having those thoughts? Like, to actually explain the moment of shutting it down and walking away? Because I think people get stuck in that moment. I mean, obviously we know they do. Right? Because that's the continued cycle, so. So can you give us a few tips on what shutting it down and walking away actually looks like in the moment when you're doing it?

Sure. So to give, like, a little bit of background to what that normally would look like when I have those negative thoughts, oftentimes it's like when I'm trying on clothes and like, all of a sudden it feels like nothing fits and nothing's right. And you want to burn your entire closet for me? Yeah. Like, really? It used to end up with me sitting on my bedroom floor, just bawling my eyes out, feeling like nothing was going to work. I was. Would get stuck in that for a good, you know, if it wasn't like a half hour session, it was like an entire day of, like, a mind fog of just really having difficulty going through it. And so there's a couple things that I've done tangibly to kind of create a better barrier for how I walk away from it. I think it's very similar to what you just said. Oftentimes it's just like if you're standing in front of the mirror and you're just like, I don't feel great. It's walking away from the mirror. As much as we. We can talk about encouraging our reflection and speaking truth and love into it, a lot of it has been actually walking away. Same thing with social media. This has been huge for me in the last year. Any account that I follow, the moment I start feeling like I feel like crap about myself when I'm taking in whatever they're putting out, it doesn't mean that they're necessarily doing something wrong. But if I'm internalizing it in a negative way, I need to remove myself from that conversation. I need to remove it from my newsfeed. So I've been really just taking myself out of following a lot of accounts that honestly have just made me feel like crap over the last couple years. And that's really, really helped me shut down those conversations mentally. Because what I've done is I've refilled it with really empowering women who have really positive messages, really, whether it's body positive or just, like, business positive, just, like, really good stuff that you need to be hearing. Because as much as there's all the real in the world and people can say, what? Well, that's not real to be positive all the time. I think we already deal with enough negativity in the world and in our life that sometimes I think it's better for us when we're just refilling our cup, when we take in social media, that we aren't experiencing these social media hangovers when we step away from it, and that it empowers us. The next time that we have that broken moment in the closet or in the mirror or starting a podcast and feeling like you can't do it, or writing a book or writing a story or whatever it is, when we get that those moments of self talk out, that all of those positive messages that we've heard start to fill that void, they start to fill it back up, and we walk away quicker. So two years ago, those sessions could have, for me, been hours in a day. And I don't think I give them more than 10 minutes now. They're very quick, they're very short, and I've gotten a lot better control over them. But, yeah, it is like walking away from a bully. You don't engage it, you don't converse with it. You walk the f away. Like, you got to get out. So. Sounds easier said than done, but it takes some practice. It's just. It's just a weird thing because it's almost like you're having an argument with yourself, but it's very real.

Yeah, you totally are. Like, we're always constantly in this conversation with ourselves. Like, daily I'm in a conversation with myself, and I'm like, how do I want to pitch myself today? Like, to myself, to, like, me?

Absolutely. Back and forth all the time. So it's so important that we kind of take that stance, too, right. Of just, like, empowering ourselves in our every single day. And it can look differently for everybody, and it can look differently about what we're talking about, but I think it's really important to kind of be cognizant of it and just paying attention to where we're getting that positivity from. And even if it takes time before you're getting it from yourself, just making sure you're getting some good sources that are filling that cup for you.

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I love that. So what do people. What's a question that you find that people ask you the most?

How did I overcome my stomach? Is probably one of the bigger ones. My postpartum body, which is so funny because I haven't had a baby in, like, nine years, but. And it's funny that just this year am I fully showing it because. And you know, postpartum, for a lot of people, you consider that, like, the one to three years after having a baby. But basically, once you have a child, your body is going to change. And I think there was so much shame around that. For me, I felt like my body was so different. It was so gross. And yes, I had this beautiful kid, but, like, ugh. And I really just. I came down on my body as if it had done something wrong. Instead of really looking at my body and saying, you did something really right. You actually stretched. You were able to stretch and grow this beautiful child. You did a. You did a job well done, and I hated you for it. And now I've just been like, why are we so caught up on all these weird little things that happen with our body as time goes on or as they change? And I'm totally not one to say how it is that you choose to love it. You know, a lot of people will say, like, oh, like, I wish I could have been as strong as you, but, like, I needed to have a tummy tuck. And I was like, that doesn't make you any less strong than me. It means that you owned a choice for yourself. And that in itself is a true body positive message. If we're going to be people who are body confident, body positive, empowering women, we need to just understand that that is going to look different for everybody. And while I might be somebody who, you know, I actually fully plan to get a tummy tuck. And so I had decided I was going to kind of work for a year on just, like, seeing how I felt in just loving it. And now I honestly think I would miss it if I. If I did get that tummy tuck. But I don't have any judgments towards anybody who chose a different path, because that's not my body to speak into. I speak into my own. But people will often ask, like, how did you overcome that? And I was like, I think. I think I overcame it. But just stop. Like, stopping from being so ashamed of it and realistically sharing it in a very vulnerable, real way with the world. Strange as that is, it kind of lost it. I wrote a post a few days ago just about how, you know, a secret only has its power when it's hidden. And that's how I felt about my body. It was this weird secret. I looked great in clothes, but I. Every single time anybody complimented me, all I could think was, but if only you knew what was underneath. And now I'm like, everybody knows what's underneath now. Like, I. I'm so free now. I can go to the beach. I can swim in a pool. I can be intimate with my husband. I can, you know, walk around in sweats, in a crop top at the gym. And. And I don't feel this overarching shame anymore because it's not a secret. It's now lost its power, and it truly, truly has.

Was the shame related to something? Was it related to, like, via what you see, social media, or was it something that triggered you when you were young? Or do you have a perception? Did you. You hear things in your family?

I honestly think it's just that I never saw it. I never saw a body like mine. And I think that social media and advertising and marketing as a whole, everything's changing now. We are seeing a huge. A lot more diversity and a lot more inclusiveness in this massive shift that we're seeing. But up until then, I'm 34 now, and I've only seen that for the first time in the last two years. So when you spend a good portion of your adult life struggling with this body that you don't think anybody else in the world has except for you, it can be really, really isolating. So a part of. Part of me sharing it has really opened up to other people sharing theirs and me getting to experience that connectiveness, right? And also just owning my uniqueness and that, you know, like I said, my body has done some really incredible things, and I want to thank it. I'm just done hating on it for doing a good job.

That's so beautiful. And you know what's so crazy is as I'm listening to you, it's just there's so many parallel things about the body and physicality that are also Just so much about, you know, the fitness journey, having to do in the health journey, having to do with just business and relationships. And all I can think of is when you're like, I just honestly hadn't seen it. So you didn't know you could love it or accept it or still show up in a certain way. And I'm like, that's exactly not only how I felt about my body before when I was younger, but also how I felt about what it looks like for a woman to have boundaries and own her voice and still be loving and have an amazing business. I was like, I just didn't see it, so I didn't even know it was possible. So I love all these stories that are coming out because it finally lets us be like, oh, that's what it could look like. Like, I can mirror something like that.

Yeah. And if we don't see it, then we can become it. Right. And I think that there's nothing really holding us back from that. There's nothing that holds us back from starting conversations that we really dying to have or starting that business that we think that might actually change the world a little bit or, you know, doing all of these things. Like, it doesn't always. Yeah. It doesn't always relate back to our body. It's always just these different things that just because we haven't seen it doesn't mean it's not there.

What do you wish more people would ask you that you're not getting asked about?

Oh, that's a good question. I wish people would ask me about. I think I would love to be asked more about, like, what. What it's like kind of having to creatively write or come up with different concepts or what that creative flow looks like for somebody in social media. Because I think that that's often a conversation that I love having with people, but it's not often asked. I think everyone just assumes that you're. I don't know, that you're just like, have the. Have these concepts and you create these ideas. And. And I think sometimes it's really interesting when you get to just share your heart with somebody and how you kind of come to a different place with them. And so, yeah, I don't know. I think I would love. As much as Instagram and social media, for me are very much a heart business, it's also a business business, and I love talking about both and how they can really kind of have relationship with each other and relationship with the world and sharing with people how social media can. It's Honestly, an equal opportunity for everybody. And I love just empowering people to understand that anybody can do this. It's not just like one person has an extraordinary story and they go do something amazing. I always said that, like my story was, was something extraordinary out of the very ordinary. Like, you couldn't get any more ordinary than me. And it was really fun to be able to take what was my ordinary life and do extraordinary things with it, regardless of, you know, I constantly looked at myself and said, well, I don't, I don't have this schooling, I don't have this. I couldn't really do this job. And kind of working out all of those little kinks over the years. I wish more people asked about that, like, how was, how was that rebuild and how did you kind of go from, from, you know, being a stay at home mom into like doing what I do now, which is kind of cool. So.

Yeah, well, I think those are gonna be a lot of the questions you're answering on your podcast and here because.

I think so, yeah.

Because most of the women here who listen are truly people who, they start listening because they're looking for happiness or they're looking for something more and it turns into, wait a minute, are you telling me that I could not only seek that and do that, but I could potentially be supported by that? What does that transition look like? So for. Because when I see. Because I'm kind of in the same business, so when I look at your page, I can see how it's you, but I can also see the brilliance of your business. So I'm like, wow, this is like, it's so her and it's so authentic, yet she's so like running this, like a brilliant. She's using her voice to also be able to support herself. So for you, what does that look like on a day to day basis of like, how did you start saying, wait a minute, this is a business? And when was the first moment that you decided to make it a business business?

It was very interesting. I was already had a pretty strong following and somebody at a lunch said to me, why aren't you doing anything to like kind of make money and like support yourself while you're doing this? Think about all this time that you're putting out into the world for free using your social media. You're doing so much. Why are you not doing anything to kind of get back from that? And I was like, well, that's interesting. I don't know, I just had never been offered it. And they're like, well, you can't. You're not going to get offered anything. You're going to have to go and seek it out. And I was like, well, that's awkward. So I didn't really know what to do, but I got connected with a few different people that kind of got me started. And it was honestly over about two years from the point that I started doing some kind of partnerships and influencer work on a smaller scale to where I am now, where I'm doing everything from speaking engagements to freelance writing, social media consulting. And yeah, I do some influencer stuff as well. But in terms of the influencer work that I do, a lot of the partnerships that I'm working with now are brands that I've loved and been, you know, a part of for years and years. So it's really cool to kind of be in this place now where I get to work with some of my favorite brands and in such an authentic way. Like, my audience fully knows my personality and the stuff I love. They know that I love makeup, and they know that I love thrifting, and they know that I love, you know, my dog and all of these simple things. And now to kind of see that seamlessly go into a bit of a partnership thing, too, is really cool. And I think that, that a lot of times we look at that kind of work and it seems so contrived, but knowing that in the background, there's so much we're saying no to, to stay really authentic to who we are. And I'm not looking to make a million dollars. I'm looking to just support myself, work with brands that are truly empowering me and my voice and so that I can do more creating that I can spend four hours a day just replying to emails and messages from women and connecting in this community that is so beautiful and being able to do it in a way that is financially responsible to my family as well. So it's been honestly such a cool, cool little whirlwind. But I didn't know that there was money there. And I think that it was hard for me to kind of come through it. And now, you know, I look at other people, I'm like, why are you. Like, how are you not seeing that you have such potential here? And it's not all about just going out and making money. It's more of some people are truly talented creators, and if brands get an opportunity to work with them, they are so lucky. And I think often we as people downgrade ourselves into. And as creators, we downgrade ourselves being like I just want this brand to like me so that they pay me instead of seeing ourselves as, you know, directors and models and stylists and photographers and editors and copywriters and all of these things that we are and that we build upon over the years just naturally and growing that voice and being able to connect with brands that support that, I think is one of the coolest things I've ever seen happen. And the fact that it's such a. It's such a young industry and it's such a new industry and. And that there's lots of different ways to kind of go about it, I think it's really, really cool. Like, for instance, speaking is a really neat side way to make money. But empower your voice to reach new people. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. And it's actually really cool.

Oh, I'm literally all about it. And it's the new way of advertising. It's the new way of connecting. It's the new way of collaborating. And we have to remember that there's incredible people that you're supporting at those brands. When you collaborate with amazing brands. And it's really. I think it's when you can embrace the new way and understand that you can have a huge, you know, say and play on what your audience knows and what they're consuming. Oh, yeah, that is like so huge.

Honestly, truth be told, I wouldn't buy something if somebody didn't tell me about it.

Me too.

If I'm looking at a lipstick, I go and I check Instagram hashtag to see it on people. Before I buy it, I watch a YouTube video of like, a real review. That's. It's how I am as a consumer. So it's really. I think when you truly trust the people that you're following, you're always going to have that really good connection. And I think that there's a lot of background stuff we don't see. I'm sure you've had similar offerings like this, but when those certain tea companies come around, I was offered $13,000 at one point to advertise for something that was a weight loss scam. And I was at my darkest point. I was very poor. I was on my own too far feet with three kids that needed me. And I had to say no to $13,000 because it wasn't the right thing to do. But nobody saw that. Right. It was a very private, private thing that now I can talk about it openly. But because it came back to me, you know, it came Back in, in real ways, in authentic ways with brands that I can, that I can truly back and feel supported by. So, yeah, it's really been a beautiful ride.

I love that. And I think there's so many people right now wondering who have like a good following. They're super authentic, or maybe they have an awesome podcast, or maybe they have an incredible blog, but they haven't thought to monetize it. Is there something that you would say, what's the low hanging fruit that they could start with?

I really, I found the first thing that I did was start getting more serious about my feed. I think that there's a lot of people with really beautiful feeds, but I was not one of those people that had a really concise feed. Once I started paying attention artistically to what, what it looks like and a little bit of a different way of approaching how I created content, I actually write my captions usually before I do the post or I know what it is I'm going to write about and then I capture the photo to go with it. So a little bit counter from what we used to always do, which was we took a picture and then we're like, okay, what am I going to write for this caption? I write when something comes to me and I email it to myself and I do that. And I think that also connecting with your audience in as many ways as you can, replying to those DMs, doing all those things, they're going to be your baseline of engagement. That's what people who potentially might come along and sponsor you are going to be paying attention to. How engaged is your audience, how much are they actually here and participating in these conversations with you and you know, do they trust your voice? And that trust, it takes time. So I think having a really aesthetically clean feedback, working towards really authentic captions, really engaging with your audience and then going out and signing up for some of the. My favorite platform that I got started on was paid. They are an influencer platform that anybody can sign up for. You get to name what your rate is. You work with them on that. I'm a lot further down the line now, so I still work with paid, but I also have a manager that helps me kind of get these collaborations and stuff or at least field some of the emails that I get that are offered to me. And we kind of discuss whether or not I want to work with certain brands or if there's a brand that I really love, writing a pitch to them and saying like, hey, I've been using your product for six years and I would love to share it with my audience and have some real conversations around it. Would you be interested in some sort of a collaboration or a campaign? And you know what, a lot of times if you're a long standing customer and you've got a strong voice with a great feed audience and you're a trusted person, a lot of times they're going to be really excited to come on board with you.

Oh my God. So much good advice. What is one of the biggest lessons that you've learned that has come out of really stepping forward even when you feel anxiety, even when you feel afraid?

I would say in the last year, if I'm feeling afraid about something, it's usually what I've discovered is it's probably because it's something important. So usually when I'm most anxious it's because I know in my gut this is something important that I'm doing. So it's scary for a reason. And I think we often mix up fear with excitement and we allow that feeling, that like gut feeling to kind of cripple us a little bit. But when we push through it and we're like, this is scary, but this is exciting. It's like a roller coaster where obviously there's always that split moment of what if I die? But at the end of the day we're going to take that ride and what does that look like for us? And maybe it's writing that incredibly vulnerable post, maybe it's sharing something that you haven't before or showing that part of your body or, you know, writing that book that you've been dying to write. Even if nobody's going to read it for five years. You just get started on it, whatever it is just like channeling that energy of like fear and excitement that's kind of mixed together in your gut and going forward with it. I think it's, it's usually showing you something that's important to you and not, not to kind of let yourself be crippled by that fear. I think that I'm somebody when I'm scared of something, I kind of turtle up. In the last year I've been pushing through that and I've kind of been pushing forward and out. And it's really, it's really shown itself in some really big ways. I would say one of the bigger ones. As much as it's not about the numbers. I've basically doubled in growth in the last six months than I have in the last, you know, six years that I've been on social Media, and it's all been in no longer. Just, like, really trusting those feelings and those words that kind of come to my heart and just putting them out there. And I still shake. I still shake. Every single time I'm about to hit post, I still have that feeling where I don't know how this is going to go. And usually if I post it, I just, like, walk away from my phone for a little bit and then I come back to it and I'm like, okay, was it bad? Like, was it bad? And you kind of just. You come back and you know what? 99.9% of the time, it's really, really good. And it teaches you just what's on the other side of fear and how much you can really, you know, not only change your own life, but, like, change others.

So if it's bad, what do you.

Do if it's bad? I am not gonna lie. I usually cry. I haven't had anything too bad. A lot of times. It's just people can get really nasty in. Not on comments, but on dm. They like to sneak into the back door and they like to lure you into a conversation. I was talking in my Instagram stories yesterday just about how, you know, it has. I had posted a of myself, and I was in my underwear, which isn't abnormal, but for whatever reason, I cropped it so you couldn't really see me in my underwear. And I was like, I don't really. In my stories, I was like, I don't really know why I did that, but I think it's because I was actually anxious that somebody was going to say something to me because a few weeks earlier, somebody had slid into my DMs with this message about how if I'm not careful and if I keep showing my body to the world, somebody's going to come along and snatch my husband up. And they were like, what do you. Who do you think you are? Like, you have children. You shouldn't be showing your body or all of these things that I was like, oh, it made me second guess myself. And reflecting back on it, I was like, it's still really hard to deal with, but I've learned to not internalize it too, too much anymore. And a lot of people will say, like, hurt people, hurt people. And I've kind of just learned that, you know what? It's not always that hurt people, hurt people. People, you know. Yeah, they do. But we're also not a punching bag for the hurt. We don't need to be. It's okay to call those people, like jerks and block them and not engage. We don't have to save everybody. We don't have to convince everybody that we're real and authentic. Not everybody is going to trust us. Not everybody is going to like us. And that's been a hard pill to swallow. So, you know, it's funny. My husband will see. He will literally, I'll be on the couch and I'll be on my phone, and he'll look at me and he'll be like, what? And I'll be like, nothing. And he's like, who? What did somebody say to you? Because my whole body, you can see, it's like I get into a slump. And he's like, what did they say? And I was like, I'll show him the message. And he'll be like, sarah, you know that's not real. That is not your truth. You know it's not real. And I'm like, I know, but, like, sometimes it hurts that somebody thinks that, like, that it's not even about if it's real. It's the fact that they said it, you know? So, yeah, that's been. Probably the only thing that I would say is been pretty hard.

Oh, man, it's tough because you are, you know, you're like an online. You're an online business, but your hours are whenever you pick up your phone, and it's like, it's normal for people to walk into your store and be like, this sucks. Who would buy this? And you'd be like, okay, well, I get to go home and like, shut you out. But it's not. It's not necessarily like that. That's why it's so important to have those kind of, like, hours and boundaries and things like that, which is what I'm finding for that. Because if I just like. If I pick up my phone and I have one of Those past, like, 7pm I'm, like, pissed for the rest of the night. I'm like, who is this person to rob this time? With my husband. I haven't seen him all day long. This is my peace of mind. And then I'm freaking out all night. And then I'm like, wait a minute. Like, you kind of did this because you opened up shop, like, when you wanted peace.

So true.

But it sucks because you want to.

Go see your friends. And you're like, I just wanted to go visit my friends. And now I'm like, you know, I opened shop on accident.

So hard. When you've created this community, too, and people are so Accessible to you. And I love that. I love that part of it. But I think there is, like, I'm learning so much coming down the line now just to. Which is why it's so lovely that I get to actually do this full time, so my kids don't actually have to see it as much anymore because I actually have the daytime hours to work with when they're in school, and I get to kind of shut down. They do understand that, like, sometimes I have to work on weekends, or there's certain phone calls that I have to be on, which I've totally before, like, gone out to my car to take because I don't want them to physically see me and misunderstand what's going on. It is such a hard balance, that block of time. It is so hard. I have, like, an Apple watch now, and I had to turn off notifications for anything on Instagram because I'm like, I'm so tempted. I'm such a. I love to have conversation with people. I love to be engaged. So when somebody says something, I just want to be like, yes. You were like, yay. Like, thank you so much, or like, whatever. And it's really hard for me to not, like, engage with every single message. So I'm kind of letting go of that a little bit. I got sick last week, and I was down for, like, three days, and I was like, couldn't even look at my phone for that much. And it really taught me that, like, you know what? The sky isn't falling. The floor isn't coming out from underneath me. Like, everything's gonna be okay. It's okay to take a break. It's okay to be, like, sick or to be with your family. And just, like, even my wedding day, it was such a bizarre thing to be without my. My phone. And just, like, at the end of the day, I get to say, like, I posted this one photo, but there was really nothing throughout the entire day. And just to kind of be so, so present. It was a beautiful, beautiful gift, and I think I really cherish that. And I think it's something that I need to pay a little bit more attention to in the future.

It's like a work in progress for me at all times.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

I've been doing the craziest thing. I haven't been, like. Which I don't recommend for what you do, but I haven't been posting for, like, five or six days in a row, simply. I was in a weird space of, like, last year was such. You have these Years where it's like so amazing, but it's like you. It's nonstop and it just feels like you're on the rocket ship the whole time and you're exhausted. So this year I'm kind of like, I almost couldn't. I almost can't pick it up sometimes. Like, I'm literally observing, like, I don't have the strength to do this right now. And that's okay. Like giving myself grace around it. And it's been a really interesting and beautiful and awesome experiment.

So I love that.

Yeah, it's been interesting but awesome at the sale. We'll talk more about that in depth another time. So how are you going to plan for your next explosive growth? Because we're just manifesting it right now and we know it's happening. So how are you going to be able to. Because there comes a point when you can't respond to everyone. Like you can't get to every dm. So how are you going to know when to shut that off? So for your own sanity, I'm getting better at it.

Like, even today I am really noticing that there's quite a bit unread. And now it has this new feature where it tells you how many unread messages you have. And it's super rude. You know what? I think most people understand that that's where we are now. And you know, all the auto replies and the hearts in the world, I really can't get through them all. And I've learned to let go a little bit. But what I try and do is I always just try and address it in a group thing in my stories and be like, hey guys, like, I know a lot of you sent me messages like, so sorry I can't reply to you all. But just reminding people if it's ever anything really important important that my email is so open to them. And I think that I never want to miss that. One person who wrote something potentially really vulnerable, especially in the space of divorce, is often something that people don't want to say in a comment or if they're struggling with something really intense about their body or whatever it is that they want to talk about. Or even dating, dating again. A lot of people will ask me about what it was like to date when I had kids. So those are like bigger messages that you know full well somebody has like worked up that courage to even be able to pour out their heart. So I love to remind people, like, if you wrote me a message on here and I didn't reply, send it to my Email because they're much less likely to send just like a normal story reply type thing to an email. They're going to write something of substance and I'm going to be able to sit down because that's the one thing Instagram doesn't allow you to sit down on a computer and reply to things. So it has to to be on your phone. So if you are like, if I'm on my computer, that's work time. I'm not on my computer any other time of the day. So it allows me to siphon those really important messages into one space where I can reply to it in a really full way, but also respectful of my own time and those boundaries as well.

So is there anything that you have not shared yet that you feel is coming up for you, that you feel like is something on your heart or something that, that you're in a space that you're in right now that you want to share?

Honestly, I really do share it all. I think that there are, it's, it's been therapeutic for me to share a lot. I think there's a lot of questions around and that I'm still figuring out for myself in terms of whether or not we will have our own baby and if I'm going to pursue more expansive business or if we will have a child together. And that can sometimes be a really scary topic for me to dance in because I think I struggled because I was a stay at home mom the first time and I have no desire to really do that again. I loved it, it was great. But I also have just been so driven, not by career necessarily, but just doing what I'm doing and just connecting with people, traveling, doing all these things. And can that work with having a baby? Because for me, motherhood looked very, very different. And I'm watching people like the Jillian Harris of the world kind of doing it all. And I'm really getting inspired by that, but also just challenged to what look like and you know, will we be able to have a baby really easily? Will that be something that I share? I'm not really sure. Honestly. The next year is going to be one of the things that I really want to do more and I am doing more is public speaking, which is really just like taking my voice out of being on a written platform and taking it into a live audience. I've done mostly panels, but I'm like really working towards doing some more like keynote speaking. I think I would love to do that. I don't really know what that looks like, but I Will figure that out as I go. But also, like, growing the podcast. And I think that that's part of it is I really want to just start growing in more conversations. And I love that idea of just more real talks because we are so structured on social media, on how many words we're allowed to say, how long, how many seconds we have in a video, all of these different things. And I want to kind of, like, blow that up a little bit and just, like, really get deep with the. Some stuff.

I love that, and I love that you're manifesting it now, and this is a great platform for it.

I'm also manifesting Disney on, like, I. That's like, my. Everyone keeps saying, like, what's your 2019 goal? I'm like, to go to Disney. And I'm like, I've been there before, but this is still very important to me.

California or Florida?

I really want to go to Disney. No, I want to go to Orlando. I want to go to Star Wars Land.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

We'll see what happens. I just keep saying it. I'm sure. I'm sure at some point it'll just happen.

Maybe you'll partner with someone and they'll be like, yeah, but you have to, like, write your post from Disney.

I know. Imagine that would be kind of like, the difference. Everyone's like, wouldn't that be so cool to have, like, a sponsored trip? And I was like, it would be however you'd be working. And I wouldn't like, I'm a bit of a maniac at Disney. I'm like, I cry the second I get there, cry at every parade. I, like, buy all the Mickey ears. I'm, like, eating all the things. Like, I'm just like, I'm a Disney child once I enter Disney zone.

Are you obsessed with Disney parks? Princesses?

I. What? Like, as a kid, I probably was not like, but I still, when I meet them, like, I remember meeting Ariel and, like, I literally was, like, sweating and just shaking. Oh, my gosh. This area, like, you get so in your head with it. That place is like, there's, like, gas in the air. I don't even know.

I have a. I have a secret Disney fantasy, but it's not so secret, but I literally want to be in one of the parades and sing, like, an Air Ariel song. So, yeah, that would be. I might be, you know, like, 50 when I do it, but whatever. So we're manifesting Disney right now. This will be really fun.

Are you a singer as well?

I'm a Wannabe singer. Like, I can only do certain songs. Okay. Like, the karaoke person who just has their, like, three songs. That's me.

Gotcha. No, I'm so the same. My poor parents put me through all of this, like, vocal training and stuff, and I was like, yeah, I have stage fright. I can't get on stage and sing. I'm so sorry. Like, and that was the end of it. I was like, but I really love singing in the car. I can throw a real mean concert with like greatest showman in my car or in the shower. Like, locked it down. Really love singing. But yeah, totally certain Disney songs. Yeah, of course. Like, they're the best. I swear they put them in such a tone that we can all sing along to it and feel good about ourselves.

Exactly. And then we're addicted and then we buy all the stuff. So it's perfect.

Absolutely.

All right, so I always end on one last question. But before I do that, because I could talk to you all day. We just need a part two. It's fine. Where can we find you? Where can we follow you? Where's your favorite place for us to follow you?

Honestly, Instagram is my wheelhouse. It's where I post most of my stuff. I'm the most engaged there. I story a lot of my life as well, and I honestly love it. It's such a fun place to connect. So you can find me at thebirds. Papaya. It's kind of a funny nickname that it's my two daughters nicknames smushed together. But I'm the birds Papaya. You can find me there. And yeah, go there. It's going to link you to anything else. Anyways, you'll find my blog from that, Facebook from that. It's all there.

Amazing. I'm so grateful for you. I'm so grateful that we got to connect.

I know.

Totally manifesting speaking for you this year. And maybe we'll speak on the same.

Stage and I'll manifest that area song for you. Maybe we'll go to Disney together. Let's do like a thing. And I'll like public speak, but they won't even know it because we're in the middle of a parade. And I'll be like overcoming the bull thing. It'll be amazing. I'll like. You can do the Elsa hair. Like we can. I mean, we could do it.

It's gonna happen.

It's gonna happen right after this.

So. All right, so my last question, it's. You literally have 30 seconds in passing with someone whether you're in an elevate elevator or you're on the street and they look at you and it's a total stranger and they ask you, how can I make myself happy? What do you say?

To listen to what is bringing you joy. To listen to every single moment and pay attention to every spark of what is making you happy and lean into it and do more of it. Don't just let it pass you by. Figure those pieces out and just do more of it.

Thank you so much. And you guys, if you loved this podcast as much as I did, make sure you share it right now with a friend. Text it to a friend, and until next time, earn your happy. Bye everyone. Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review. If you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought and honest comment, tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear. More of it would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again guys. Bye Bye.