354: What Craziness To Expect While Trying To Reach Your Goals

I firmly believe that when you commit to something or you decide that you want to be different, a million tests are going to come in to say, hey, do you really want this? Are you just joking around? Are you really the person who's going to be strong enough to handle all of the things that come with the blessings? Welcome to the Earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves, get ready to earn, own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Welcome back to the Earn your happy podcast. And it's time for another quickie because there's always time to fit in inspiration. And something that I am so excited to talk to you today about is the journey. And this is the topic of pretty much every conversation that I have on here. But I want to talk directly to the people who are right in the middle and I'm talking about the middle of that dark tunnel that you have to go through where you can no longer see the light from the entrance and you can no longer, you no longer even have faith that there is going to be light at the end of the tunnel. Like you are smack dab in the darkest point in the middle and you know what direction is going to supposedly get you out of the tunnel. But you're not really sure if you keep going that way that you're actually going to make it. Like you're past the point of no return. But you also have this feeling that you know no matter what, you can go back. But there's a part of your soul that now that you have taken this journey and you've mentally prepared and you've taken the leap, that there's no possible way in hell that you're ever going back. So I want to talk to that person today who maybe you have started on an idea or you are really committed to changing your life, whether it's your business or your health, or you are just like ready to up level, like you're not thinking small anymore. You are not wanting to gossip or talk about problems or talk about pain or talk about all of the horrible things that are going in the world, on in the world all of the time. You don't want to be bonding over drama. You don't want to be thinking negative, being around negativity like you're done. But your reality does not yet support this place that you want to go and where your mindset is. So this is the point where so many people are at and where so many people do still decide to go back to the comfort, right? The comfort of just knowing what every day is going to look like, which is just insane because I did it, too. And when I say go back, it's like sometimes, even though it's painful and it's torturous to go back, it's familiar. And familiarity feels more comfortable sometimes than not feeling any familiarity and not feeling like you fit anywhere. So sometimes, at least, you feel like you fit into the negativity or you know that you'll be accepted, or you know, that you can go back to those, you know, friends evenings or wine nights or family events where you don't say a peep and you just stay quiet. But no matter what, you'll still be, you know, included or you'll still be accepted. And there are people right now who are in that journey of, I just don't know if this is real or not. Like, I don't really believe or I'm not sure, or my faith is really dwindling on whether or not I can be that person who can reach his or her goals. And this is the do or die point, you guys. This is it. This is the point that every single person questions their faith. They question why they're doing it. A lot of times we start to question if it's possible, and we question our faith and our ability because the people who are most familiar to us and who we believe know us the best because they were there. Maybe, you know, when we grew up, or maybe they're the people who we let into our lives the most. But you are not the same person as you were growing up. You are not the same person sometimes that you're even putting out on the outside, like, they don't actually know you if you're not authentically being yourself. And remember that you have every right to change, and you should be changing. You should be evolving. So right now, if people are telling you that you used to be more fun, or they're questioning your integrity, or they can't believe that you're trying to make money off of something, or they think that you're a bad person because maybe they feel like you are leaving them behind or you're ditching them for these new friends or this new way of life. Trust me, all of it is a part of the journey. And what happens is your environment just doesn't yet reflect and support where you're going. So there is a transition period. This is normal. This is going to last longer than you wish it would last. It's going to be a lot longer. Because what happens is you are now starting to create the life that's going to support the way that you're thinking. But what's going to happen is it takes an entire life change, and this doesn't happen overnight. So one thing that I always do, and I want to tell people is just be really grateful that you were blessed with the awareness to want to evolve. Be grateful that you have been blessed with really feeling and seeing the vision and feeling a pull towards it. Be grateful for where you have come from so that you can completely resonate and understand everyone. Because where you are going, you are going to need every ounce of that compassion and understanding and you are transcending so that you can go and help those people that are, you are, quote, unquote, leaving behind. You're never leaving them behind. You are just choosing to move forward and they can choose with you. But what's going to happen is so many of them are going to try to pull you back. They're going to try to pull you back, and that is okay. That's your test. I firmly believe that when you commit to something or you decide that you want to be different, a million tests are going to come in to say, hey, do you really want this? Are you just joking around? Are you really the person who's going to be strong enough to handle all of the things that come with the blessings? And this is so important because I know I've talked about this so many times on the podcast, but I get questions every day. It's like, I cannot drill this into you guys enough by saying the journey is hard. People are going to question you. They're going to leave horrible comments on your social media. They're going to inbox you DMs that are going to make you want to quit. They're going to say nasty things to you. Your family is going to tell you that you don't know what you're talking about. You're. They're going to think that you're going against their beliefs or whatever that looks like. You're going to have to break massive patterns.

You're going to have to break, break.

Free of these chains, right? They don't actually. It's. It's all existing within your mind. So the person that is so committed and does it with love. I'm not saying, you know, go and tell your family off or go tell those people who are trying to pull you back to F off or whatever.

That looks like, like, you just want.

To, like, throw up two middle fingers and be like, I'm out of here. Because I've definitely had those moments multiple times in my life. But. But that is not going to be able to pull you through to the other side. Yes, it's okay to get mad. Yes, it's okay to sit in those feelings of anger over them not understanding you. But the thing that's going to be able to get you through is just massive compassion and just put your nose down to the grindstone and keep on going and know that they don't see what you see, right? They don't get to see the vision that you see. They don't understand it. So just keep doing your thing. Don't try to make them understand. Don't try to get their support. Stop it. Stop it. Okay. Anyone who's, like, fighting to try to get someone to understand their side or see that their choices are in integrity or to see that they're doing this business because they want to make money to help support people, you don't have to keep explaining yourself. You are wasting your time and you are wasting your energy. Stop explaining to people who don't understand and start speaking directly to the people who are ready to listen. I hope that you're getting this. Stop wasting your energy. Bless those people, love them. Move forward. Start building a community and tapping into people who want the same thing as you. This is like trying to convince people of something that they absolutely do not want. Right? You have to go find the people who want what you are teaching, who want what you're looking for. And in the the middle, what it's going to look like is it's going to be a big, messy, hot show because you've not been speaking this way before. You haven't been showing up authentically. So all of a sudden, to all of the people in your life who you've been wearing a mask around, or you've just been trying to fit in because you don't want to be hurt or be excluded, all of a sudden they're going to be like, whoa, you've changed, or we don't like your message, or whatever that looks like. Because you haven't been living in your truth. And that's okay. Tons of us haven't been until we're like, we can't live this way anymore, right? Like, who made these rules? When did I decide that I was going to be a part of these rules?

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So until you start creating these places, until you start forming these relationships, until you start getting rid of the things in your life that don't support you and creating the habit of habits that do. There is going to be a giant fight between the two worlds of you living authentically and doing what you want to do and your past life that you've had for the last 20, 25, 30, 45, 55, 65. Whoever's listening to this years, like, you have to remember that you're in the middle of changing the world that you live in and how you show up. So in that transition period, it feels messy, it feels turbulent, it's terrible. Until you start really matching that life up to your new actions. This can take a year. This can take 5 years, 10 years, 20 years. Give yourself faith. Like, give yourself grace. So much grace and love during this time. And know that eventually it's kind of just like, you know, I'm learning to play guitar right now. It's so weird. Like, all of a sudden it's like you'll wake up and you learned something that you were like the other day. Like, I'm. I'm such an idiot. Why can't I get this? Oh my God, my body's never gonna get this. I just must be someone who can't play guitar, right? This is literally what I've been telling myself. I just must be someone who can't play guitar. Like, I don't think my brain's smart enough to make my hand play this way. And then all of a sudden, you keep doing it and you keep doing it and you keep doing it and you keep doing it and you keep doing it and there's no change. And all of a sudden, three weeks later, you wake up and you understand these chords and don't get me wrong, I mean, like, I literally still feel like I told myself that story every time I learned something. Then we add in a new chord to learn, right? So this is exactly what it's like. You're gonna master something after you're like, I absolutely don't think this is gonna happen for me. But you keep showing up, and you keep showing up and you keep showing up, and one day you're like, oh, it doesn't feel as challenging for me to make myself go to the gym. Like, it just feels like a part of my life. Even though I may not thoroughly enjoy it, I'm not gonna miss it. Right? That's exactly what this is. So you're gonna start forming those habits. And something that I talk about so much in one of my monthly workout programs especially, was talking about how habits will trump your feelings. Because you want to make sure that you just instill habits that really, really support where you want to go. Because you're going to wake up feeling like shit a lot of days. So as long as you're focused on the habit and know that once you get these habits locked in, they're going to help you change those feelings. So focus on the habit. Don't focus on the feeling. Don't focus on the feeling. Don't focus on the feeling. Please listen to me when I say that, like, I want to be a broken record, because your feelings are going to change multiple times a day. But if you have habits that really support where you want to go, such as listening to podcasts, reading books, making sure you go and work out, making sure you're supporting your body and your mindset with healthy food. Because I know the second I start eating crap, my thoughts go down the gutter. Like, sugar affects me so much when I eat a lot of sugar for a lot of days in a row that I start to get so depressed, I start to get anxious, and that's really when it starts to affect my other habits. So make sure you have those habits in place that are going to support your mindset, that if you've got a really tough week or you've got a lot of time with your family and you know they're going to give you a hard time. Make sure that you plan in some, you know, some walks in the morning, or make sure that you are really planning in guarded time to help build up your self esteem, to build up your motivation, and to build up the vessel that's going to be in that environment, because it will get broken down. I don't care what happens if you're in an environment that doesn't support where you want to go? It will get broken down. So do everything you can to support what you want to do through your actions and your habits. Do everything you can because it is a life or death situation. And when I say a life or death situation, I mean the life of your soul, the life of your dharma, the life of your mission. It is a life or death situation because I really believe it's the difference between being alive and living. So are you just alive? Are you just on this planet, or are you truly living the life that you want? Right. I heard this awesome country song. It was, some days you're surviving, some days you're alive, and some days you're living. And I really believe that we get to choose through our habits that we are living more often than just surviving or just being alive. So, you guys, I'm so grateful for you. Thank you so much for showing up every single week to this podcast. And it means the world to me when you share this with somebody who needs it, when you share it on social media, when you get the word out. Because I just know that when I needed it, I had friends texting me podcasts, sending me podcasts. And this is something that you can do for someone that you know who's maybe be smack dab in the middle of that dark tunnel and doesn't see the light. So until next time, earn your happy. Bye, everyone. Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment, tell us what you think. Tell us what you want to hear. More of it would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again, guys. Bye. Bye, Sam.