362: Questionably Awesome-Answering your Burning Questions

I live my dream life, I really do. But even your dream life can get can become the hamster wheel. So it's so important for me to shake up energy by doing different things.

Welcome to the earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn, own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me?

Here we go. Welcome back to the show, Evans.

Hi, Lori.

Hi, how are you? We're just talking about how fast the weeks go by.

Yeah, I feel like it was just last week that I was here.

It really, really does feel that way.

But it really does feel like there was a lot of time that passed.

I think when there's a holiday as well mixed in there, it's just you are like, wait a minute, I didn't get the full, full days in.

Nope.

So I hear you had a bit of a. Just a weekend that maybe didn't meet your expectations, but then did.

Totally.

Do tell.

We were supposed. We went to Ojai, California, which is a lovely little town, and we were gonna go camping there, but neither of us made a camping reservation, which is a small detail. And then we're like, oh, we'll just be able to get one of those walk up spots. Right? And then they're like, oh, no, we're all set here. And all the nearby towns were full, so we walked around a little bit, we had our sandwiches, and then we drove back and set up our tent in our apartment, which took up the entire apartment.

I literally saw, I was scrolling on Instagram and I saw this picture of a tent in their living room with George, their dog. And I was like, oh, no. But then I knew, like when someone, if you got a shipment of lemons, you would have fresh lemonade and the neighbors invited over immediately. Yeah, you'd be like, look at this, we're drinking lemonade. Aren't we blessed? And they would have no idea that you missed your campsite. But I do find that funny because I did learn. Like, we. Because we've been wanting to go camping and trust me, that's exactly what Chris and I would do, except minus even having the sandwiches. So who knew I'd be like, wait a minute, what are you talking about? Except I know now from Nick, because he does a lot of camping that they book out, like sometimes years in advance.

I had no idea that it was.

Oh my God, like, good luck getting into Yosemite.

Seriously. I thought you could just bring your stuff and pick a spot.

I guess not.

Not work that way.

You can't just camp in any old woods here.

No, you gotta reserve it.

It's nuts. So we went to Big Sur this weekend. Have you been there?

No. And your photos looked so beautiful.

No, they don't even capture it. Like, and I know you know that because you've seen different parts of California, but you guys, if you have never been to, like, up the coastline past Santa Barbara on the pch, we went to Carmel and Big Sur. It's like, I didn' even know places like that existed.

Wow.

Just like the cliffs and the water and the. And the water is like turquoise up there.

What?

It's super, super, like light. Light. Light. Light. Light.

Yeah.

I mean, I can't say enough good things about it. You guys would. You have to make a trip up there?

Northern California is just beautiful.

Oh my. It's like another country.

Yeah, it really is.

It's insanity.

And it's in the United States.

We are so blessed. We really are. Hashtag blessed.

Blessed. Hey, wait, didn't you go to a really cool luncheon yesterday?

I did. Oh my God. I went to. So Jacqueline Johnson, who does create and cultivate, invited me to a luncheon and that was the invite. It was just like, hey, I'm collaborating with this brand called, let's see, Social Eras, and I'm having this beautiful luncheon and I was like, oh my God, this looks amazing. Except I had no idea who else was going. And you know, the hostess is like, so incredibly busy. So I was like, I know her, but she. She's gonna be busy all day long.

Yeah.

I was like, lori, you better practice what you preach and just go. But this is scary because here's why. Like, she does awesome stuff with awesome people. And I'm sitting here thinking it's gonna be a bunch of amazing LA women or bloggers or just like all of these incredible people and I'm gonna show up and not know what to do with my hands. That's all I could picture is just being like, eh, like reverting back to my 6th grade self where I just go in the corner or the Bathroom or pig out on some food and talk to the people making the food, which I did kind of do. When I walked in, I was like, perfect. Oh, hello, greeters who are actually hired to greet me. Yeah, we're going to actually start a conversation. And they were like, I have to greet other people. And I was like, you talk to me first.

Nope, you stay right here.

No, you said hi to me, so.

So you're locked in now.

Best friends, they're like, I'm the greeter.

Well, that's really good that you completely just pushed through that comfort zone.

It turned out amazing. So they had a couple of things there that could, like, break the I of the weirdness, which was awesome. So smart. You guys, listen to this. If you're throwing a party, they had someone who was doing crystal prescriptions. So she reads your chakra and then tells you what crystals you should wear.

That's cool.

I wish I remembered her name because it was super fun.

Yeah.

So. And I found out most of my chakras are open, which is exciting because my heart and my throat used to be closed, and now they're open. So there you go. Now I can speak my truth a lot more. And I feel. I feel that eradicate.

I feel it for you. I can see it.

I think a lot of people can. Oh, well, that's awesome. Yeah. So exciting. What's your quote?

Oh, it's a great quote by Albert Einstein. I feel like maybe you might have used this one before. There are two ways to live. As if nothing is a miracle or as if everything is a miracle. That's a really nice quote.

Even if I did, I'm obsessed with that quote, and I love hearing it.

It's a good reminder.

It's really the choice of there is no in between. You can't look at your life or what goes wrong today or what has gone wrong this morning. If you're in the car cursing, you know, someone out or blaming something and think that that, you know, happened to you. Either have to think that happened for me so that I can have more compassion for that person, or more patience or learn to let go quicker or nothing, or it's all against you.

Right. You don't want to live your life like that.

No, you don't. All right, so mine is. Mine's not really. I feel like I have the craziest morning voice right now because I have allergies. It's just allergy season, you know, it's spring. It's springtime. Okay, so this is five things to quit I just really liked it.

Oh, I can't wait for this.

Number one, trying to please everyone.

Preach.

Have you been trying to please anyone lately?

Oh, everyone I've ever encountered.

Yeah, that gets challenging. Like, why didn't this Californian smile at me? Yeah, good luck with that one.

Yeah, that's a hard one.

Hey, depending where you are, they are friendly, but depending where you are, they are not.

They are not.

And you know what? That's for us.

That is.

It is.

Not. Everyone's gonna smile.

Truly is. Because I have days where I'm like, I'm gonna brighten everyone's day here. And three people. And I'm like, no, I'm not.

Yeah, I don't like this place anymore.

And then I'm like, no, you can keep your vibe up even if other people's vibe is not up. It's true. Number two, fearing change. Oh, that's a good one. You got any changes coming up you're afraid of?

Oh, having a husband.

Yeah, that one's going to be good, though.

Yeah, it's a good change.

I think that's a fun one. It is. It is different. Yeah. You.

You're like, teammate now.

Every time you get on the highway of life, you have a trailer.

And.

It'S full of shit.

It's full of so much.

So good luck with that stink fest. Just kidding. Get hitched. Get hitched fast. Okay. Just kidding. Gethitchedfast.com. new business for us. Oh, my God. We could start, like, a comedy wedding.

Oh, that would be awesome. People would definitely hire us.

It'd be like, do you really take her?

Are you sure?

Are you sure? Just kidding. You answered wrong, though. Whoops. Okay, number three, Living in the past.

Oh, yeah.

What you holding on to?

Oh. Oh, man. I don't know. Probably a lot.

I just thought I just saw you rolling in here with trunks behind you. I was like, did you bring your trunks today?

Now I have trunks in my future.

Hub. You have trunks? This is getting messy. All right, what you got on number four?

Oh, help me, help me.

What is it? Putting yourself down. Oh, what did you say? Nasty to yourself this morning, huh?

Oh, yeah. I said to myself, you're a little soft right now. You know when you get a little.

Soft, like, as in life or is in your body?

Your body's a little soft, like, oh.

We just call that Easter. We just call that a poached. We just call that. You're fine.

Yeah.

You know what? You leave it in the boiler a bit longer this week. The boiler of your life. The life, it's going to turn into a hard egg again. Don't worry, you're going to harden right up in a minute.

It happens.

Yeah, I noticed you didn't walk in and say, punch me in the stomach like you normally do.

Yeah, normally I have you look at my abs that I've never had.

Punch me in the stomach, Lori.

Punch me again, Lori.

Did you feel how rock hard my abs were? I did. Evans, I can't punch you in the stomach again. Just kidding. She's never said that.

Nope.

Just for those of you who need clarification, number five. Overthinking. What are you overthinking right now? I love how we turned this into more of a. Yeah.

Everything. I analyze everything so many times. Do you?

It depends. It depends. Some stuff I underthink because I have to. Like, I literally am like. Like that luncheon, I couldn't think about it. Like, on the way there, I was like. I would get a flash of anxiety and I'm like, stop it. Like, you don't even know what's gonna happen, so stop playing your spazzo weirdo movie.

Stop it.

Of anxiety, nerdism. You being shamed in the corner by everyone.

Because that is.

I played it once. I played it once and I was like, that is rated R for rotten. I gotta stop. This morning, I told her I felt weird. This morning, I told you. What are you overthinking? I warned you.

I don't know. Maybe life in general. Hey, what's my path right now? Is it this? Is that. Actually, I listened to this podcast. Yeah. The Oprah one. And Liz go. Elizabeth Gilbert is on it, talking about passion.

Yeah.

Was such a good one. For anyone who's like, I don't have a passion. Listen to that.

I think I've heard that one.

It's so good. She's like, it's okay. You don't have to have a passion.

Oh, my God. This is what we tend to always talk about on here. And with these questions. Because people get so stuck in thinking it's supposed to come out like the Golden Buddha. It's like, it ain't.

No.

It's gonna come out like fool's gold nuggets.

Fool's gold nuggets out of your butt. Yes.

You're gonna be like, wait, is that my passion that I see down there? And it's just. You're gonna have multiple. Yeah, you're gonna have to pile them up until it becomes a mountain of multiple passions. Yeah. Like. And there are some people who literally came out of the womb. And they're like, I'm a veterinarian mom.

That's so true.

And the mom's like, did you just speak?

And they're like, I'm gonna save this lamb. He's in here with me. What?

I have a pet lamb inside your belly. His name. He's being sheepish right now, though, so he can't come out. We're gonna stop with the uterus jokes, all right? Mom, your uterus is so big. Just kidding. Okay.

Did you hear that laugh? It was so lazy.

You have. I've been seeing you on Instagram with stogies.

I have been smoking a lot.

Just Evans with a stogie. Like, we're camping. I don't think that's how you make.

A. I'm sweating right now.

So am I. It is hot in here.

I'm sweating from laughter.

You know what else I saw this weekend?

What?

The Hearst castle. You did? Oh, my gosh.

What do you think about castles?

I think that they were probably made for kings and queens, but this one was not really. This was just your average joke. He was. It was built in 1919, so he wanted to build something that would, like, just be lasting, that people would come and see. And it was just. It was so interesting, though, because he clearly was either well read or well traveled because he took different pieces from different times and cultures on this particular castle mansion. And it was so weird, though. It was so cool. But it's so weird. It's almost like a lot. It's very gaudy because he literally took pieces of history and put everything on this castle. So you're like, am I in Rome? Am I in Thailand? Am I? Where am I? Am I? Oh, and he used, like, a ton of, like, art deco all around as well. So it's like an art deco castle from just every different country. It was bizarre and awesome all at once.

That's cool. So, yeah, I want to go see it.

You. You would love it. It's up on this amazing hill. And actually the drive up, it was probably some of the most fun because the way that she planned. Oh. And it was one of the first, like, big female architects who designed this castle. And everyone was up in arms about it. And he's like, I just picked the best man for the job. And it was this woman. Oh, freaking amazing.

Yeah.

Go women.

Go women.

But she also designed the road up to the castle, which, when you look down, it's like this beautiful winding puz around so that you saw different parts of California and that you Said because you're so high up and you saw different parts of the castle going up, and it would peek through the trees, and it was just really, really beautiful. Anyway, he also had a zoo, and some of the animals are actually still. Because he had to ship his animals elsewhere when he ran into some financial problems.

Yeah.

So someone else had to take care of them, but some of the animals escaped. So there's, like, wild zebras still around. They said they see them in the cow pastures all the time. Isn't that awesome?

That's the craz.

Oh, my God. I know. So cool. So do we have a question?

Oh, yeah, we have so many.

Awesome.

Here's one for someone. This is from at Court Boggs for someone.

Oh, my God, we didn't do our review.

Oh, my gosh. We have it.

Great. Let's talk about the review.

Okay. You're really gonna like this one. It's from Freeze eight. The number eight. I love listening to Lori Harder. I've been following her for a few years, and I'm working my way through a podcast. It has been amazing to listen to her throughout the years and see her growth into being the unapolog amazing version of herself that she is.

So nice.

She's given me permission to show up as who I am and who I want to be without fear of the judgment that will come either way. Every time I listen to her podcast, I laugh out loud. And I'm loving the relationship she has with Evan. They're hilarious and always make me laugh and smile. Keep doing you, girl. You're making us all better. Heart emojis.

Oh, my God. I mean, that is like heart explosion.

How lovely was that?

That is beautiful. And I cannot. Oh, my God. No, really, I can't even go back and list to the beginning because it's so. And believe me, I'm whatever. I'm great with myself, but I still don't want to listen because of that. But that's what I'm grateful for, is, thank God we're all growing. And I love that past version of me, and I love her. And thank you for that beautiful acknowledgment, and we'll send you something awesome. Freeze 8. I can't even wait to do that. Rock on.

Rock on, Crouton. Okay, now for a quick question. Ortbogs asks for someone who is new to meditation but would really benefit from it. How do you recommend getting started?

Less is more, for sure. Yeah, there's. There's something called a headspace app, or otherwise, you can. You can Just turn on a song that you like. So Google meditation or put it meditation in your music app, whether you listen to Apple or whatever. And just put three minutes on first. Put your palms up. Sit how you want or lay how you want. Close your eyes. Breathe deep. And here's something you can do that this is really just meditation, because meditation is not. Your brain will never stop when your brain stops, because it's actually programmed to always think, because it's programmed to keep you safe. So when we think, oh, we're gonna clear our brain. No, you'll be dead if that happens. So you literally have to just know. You're slowing your thoughts down. You're just getting more present. You're getting more clear. So release, thinking that it's gonna be some Zen moment. Because in the beginning, it's usually not. You're just learning to sit. It's literally like training a toddler who you're like, no, guess what? You're in school now. And they're like, f. That school's for school. You know what?

And then that's clearly not the veterinarian that popped out of the womb.

No, not at all. They were opposite children, for sure. Opposite sides of the classroom. Yeah, but this child. This child is your brain. And he is naughty.

He's crazy.

He is throwing tinker toys at your eyeballs. And you are trying to stop him, but he's like, no. And he's the one with the chocolate all around his mouth at all times. You're like, do you want to wipe that off? And he's like, no, give me more.

That is how my mind feels a lot.

That's exactly how I feel a lot. But meditating has helped that so much. So sit for three minutes. Put your palms up. Breathe deeply. Here's one thing that you can do. Here's a little trick that I did in the beginning. For the three minutes or five minutes, I would be like, what am I tasting? And I would be like, what does my mouth taste like? Did I just have coffee? Do I need to brush my teeth again? Is this what a mouth tastes like without anything in your mouth? And then I'd be like, what am I hearing? What sensation am I feeling on my skin? Can I feel the back of the chair? Can I feel the floor? What am I seeing? And your eyes are closed, but you're still seeing something. Sometimes it's squiggly lines or colors or whatever. And then just try to see if you can slow down your mind. Like, literally just think of clouds or think of the horizon. And you're winning when you slow down your brain. And truly, even when you feel like nothing is happening, so much is happening. Because when you get into that state of somewhat slowing your brain down, you get into a way more creative state. You start to lower your anxiety. You do so many good things for your health and your body and your attention span. Because I will tell you, the one thing that's so important about reaching your goals is learning to be patient and learning to like, clear space and learning to be present. Because we talk about this all the time. Yep. Nothing is even like, nothing else matters. Not that big goal, not anything. It's all just right now. So can you actually learn to enjoy the right now? Can you enjoy that little space of meditation? Because I'm telling you, yeah, it's one big joke on us. It is. God's up there like, hey, it's about right now. Do I have to send you a T shirt that says the time is now? Yeah, he's like chucking. He's up there with his T shirt gun, like pelting people with T shirts that just say the time is now. It's about right now. And we're like, the T shirt hit me.

I was thinking about the future.

And he's like, oh, these humans, they'll never understand. They're my children.

My kids.

Why do I have such dumb kids? Just kidding. He loves us.

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All right, moving on.

Okay, this is called. Or this is called. This is from what am I doing at Ashley Shorty Warrow?

Ashley Warrow. Ashley Shorty Warrow.

What do you or not do? What do you do or not do when you find yourself on the hamster wheel?

Of what?

Of life. Holy crap. Can I talk? I. Oh my lord.

Lori, I like it. You're like a hamster right now.

I am like not working on your goals even though you really want to, but instead get caught up in the survival game.

I got so much to say about this. Oh, I can't wait, Lori. Oh, man. Okay. You can still be in your daily life in the routines that you have to do. But you need to fricking shake up some energy somehow. And to be honest with you, like, humans are so habitual. We do, what is it, 90 or 95% of the same thing every single day. So, number one, you have to know self awareness. You're not going to go and be like, I'm shaking up my life and changing 50% of it. You're going to be back to the Frito bag on the couch tomorrow.

Let's be real.

Totally. So you have to just be like, one thing at a time. If you are a true, like, go getter and this is like, innately in you to add more. Add more if you want and if you're able to stick to it. But to be quite honest with you, one thing at a time. Like, I was learning Italian and guitar. I let myself off the hook. I will do Italian when I can, but I'm learning guitar. Like, I'm committed to guitar.

Yes.

And I was like, I love your. Instead of beating myself up over not learning Italian every day, I was like, lori, I really love your enthusiasm. Like, I'm so proud of you for doing two things, but now actually just sticking to one. So knowing that I will add that later and using a loving voice. Like, I'm so proud of you for thinking you could do two things right now, but really just focusing on one. So with that said, I think that getting off the hamster wheel is about just changing some of your energy for the day somewhere different. Like, if you're used to going somewhere the same for lunch, try somewhere different. Try a different coffee shop, Try a different dinner place, meet with a new friend. That's huge. Try a different workout class. Like, just going to that saying, I was going to go to that thing yesterday. Totally. What I did notice is on the way back, I'm like, wow. I feel like I could not feel bored, depressed, or remotely anxious after this today because I'm just so proud of myself and I did something different yesterday. I live my dream life. I really do. But even your dream life can get.

Get.

Can become the hamster wheel. So it's so important for me to shake up energy by doing different things. So I think it's easy to get in that rut and be like, I'm bored or something's wrong. Nothing is wrong. Boredom is just a feeling that's there to have you be like, what could you. What could you change? Yeah, it's great. Like, enjoy the feeling of boredom. It's better than the feeling of freaking out or losing everything. So true. So go easy on yourself, sister. Notice that the hamster wheel is like. I don't know. I don't even know.

I don't even know.

I was going to say a great.

Analogy about a hamster wheel, but hamsters are cute, and so are you.

Laurie. I feel. I don't know what is going on this morning, but I love it.

I think it was just the. I don't even know. Maybe it was yesterday's lunch.

I think you're just firing off some great energy this morning.

I love it. I'm that T shirt gun for you. You really are.

I needed that question. That was awesome. Good.

I needed it, too.

Cool. Do you want to answer another one?

I do. We have time for one more.

Okay. Oh, wow.

No pressure.

Oh, at Ashley. Chelsea Bird. Wow.

Love that name. Chelsea Bird.

Chelsea Bird. What a pretty name. How can I stay confident when I'm the last one of my friends to be single?

Ooh, tweet, tweet, Chelsea, tweet. You're the free bird right now.

I mean, spread those wings and fly legit.

Your friends are like, oh, she's the single friend. Why am I still not single? No, it's a funny. It's a funny place to be because some of the friends who got married are like, oh, enjoy it while you have it, because now you got that trailer with a shit pile of trunks in the back. And then other friends are like, life is so great. Yeah, but I can't totally speak to this. I can only speak to different friends who maybe are still not married. And. And everyone who said that they've either found or friends who maybe took longer as well. I have a lot of friends who didn't meet someone until they were, like, 38 or 40 or 42 or, you know, one of my aunts who, like, found the love of her life didn't find them until she was, like, 45. And then they had kids. Then. Then they had kids, too. Way later in life. So I think that you just. Everything that I've heard from them is really releasing and enjoying the space that you're in right now and what you're able to do not being married and not having to work. But I know, Evans, for you, like, before, what. Where were you at? What space were you in before you met your man?

Oh, my gosh. All my friends were married except for, like, one. I've been a bridesmaid 8 trillion times. And it was great.

It was so fun.

But you do have those moments where you're Thinking, am I ever gonna get married or do I want to get married or am I gonna have a partner and just focus on you for a little bit. It's all good. There's no. No, there's no rules. There are no rules.

Did you ever get pressure from anyone, like, are you gonna get married or. Because you're from the South? So I often wonder, like, what is that like? Because I also know they're fast like the North.

Yes. You feel that pressure on yourself because you're thinking, oh, am I going to be able to have kids? Or what's gonna happen? My. Are my eggs all dried up? Why do people say that? That's just not nice.

I don't know. There's always a way to have children, by the way, right? Yeah.

And children. I think we need to focus on the fact that your life can come in all different shapes and sizes. And it's all good. You're doing the, you know, the journey that you're on.

Yep.

The timing is different for everybody.

Agreed. I always have that thought. Like, you know, if there's any reason I can't have kids, I'm like, I would adopt. I would just let go and adopt. Like, you can't be in resistance over the stuff that you do not even know because you're wasting your precious life. And you guys, we only. We only have one in this particular body, or this might only be the only go round. And we don't know. We're spending that time in our 20s and 30s and 40s worrying. And it's so sad to me because it's like, we need to enjoy more. We need to connect more. We need to. This is such a gift. And some of us look at this life as just surviving. And it's like such a gift just to be able to be there.

That's amazing.

So on that note, I really think that we feel you. We so understand you. Because whether it's marriage or whether it's a career or whether it's, you know, they have these friends and I don't like. It's the comparison game. So the second you start to feel yourself compare, go look at the people who are thriving in your situation and build that story. And I think when you're vibing super high as a single person, that's possibly when that other bird, when Big Bird can come on in. You know what I'm saying? Big Bird will be right there. It says, be streets here. Make your dreams come true. Just kidding. Only you can make your dreams come true. Don't wait for a big yellow bird.

No, you use those wings however you want. Fly.

Don't clip yourself. Do not clip yourself.

Build a nest.

Build a nest for yourself. And let your king bird join if he wants.

Yeah.

Yeah.

All right.

So on that note, Evan, you have any, like, a brilliant quote of your own?

Oh, do I ever.

Yeah, I'm writing them over here right now.

Wake up and dance and sing your life every day is a new gift.

Wake up and dance and sing your life every day is a gift.

I would say that's it.

I would say that's the end of this episode. So you guys, again, thanks for hanging in there. We are always so proud of you. Sending you so much love. Until next week, signing off. Bye, Evans.

Bye, Lori.

Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful.

Also, please leave us a review. If you feel so moved by going.

To itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment, tell us what you think, tell us what you want.

To hear more of.

It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again, guys.

Bye. Bye.

It.