381: Why and how to decide NOW!

Why not you? Is because of you. So it's time to decide that it is for you. And you decide your worth. And you are your worth. And you are the secret weapon and you are the secret sauce. But you have to believe it.

Welcome to the earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest.

Or a thought that will help you.

Bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves, get ready to earn, own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me?

Here we go.

Foreign.

Welcome back to the earn your happy podcast and it's time for another quickie because there's always time to fit in inspiration. And my husband Chris Harder and I just got done running two back to back masterminds and he runs the for the love of money mastermind basically by himself. But I go to the dinners every single night and I get to listen to the incredible guest celebrity speakers and mingle with all of the amazing Mastermind members that are in there. And then we have our fast foundations mastermind which we just wrapped up, which was another three days. So these were back to back. I just spent six to seven days with mind blowing entrepreneurs. Some of them were new in the beginning, some of them, this was, you know, our second meeting that they really took massive action. They've doubled, tripled, quadrupled. Some people have 10x their income in there and some people have already had amazing businesses and they're really in there to get the next idea or to see how they can grow their business even more. And I will tell you that spending time with up leveled people or people who are committed to wanting to grow, right, because no matter where they were at when they came in, the one thing that we all shared was the commitment to each other and the commitment to want to grow. And what happens within that is magical. And that's the whole reason that they're actually called masterminds is because when you come together, we believe that we tap into and it's actually proven that you tap into inspiration and you tap into information that you would not normally get on your own. It's just like where the Bible says, you know, whether you believe the Bible or Not. But where two or more are gathered there. I am. And I know that you can, whether you believe in God or not, or energy or the universe or whatever it is, that you can honestly say that when you have been positive and committed to wanting to find a solution, when you are with a group of two to three or four, magical perspective shifts happen. Support, love, openness, ideas, goosebumps. Have you ever been in a circle like that? So something that we talked about a lot was the fact that we deprive ourselves of these connections. You know, we go to these events, but then for the rest of the time, we put our head down and we get our stuff done. And while that's really important, how can you best support yourself around those goals? Because the main theme that I hear from people and that I heard in the room is we're really getting caught in indecision. And I can honestly tell you right now, in this very moment, I am caught in indecision. Meaning I'm going back and forth. Should I, shouldn't I, should I, shouldn't I, should I, shouldn't I. With so many decisions that I'm wasting so much time. And something that has been really big in my life is to practice being decisive. And this isn't something where you're like, oh, I'm so indecisive, or it's so hard for me to decide, or I'm just not sure. It's not that you're not good at making decisions or you're not clear. You're just not used to making a quick decision and settling on it and figuring out, you know, once you make the decision, learning the feedback and finding out how you know if it's a good or bad decision for yourself. And I don't believe there's any good or bad decisions because even the bad decisions give us the best feedback on how to make a better decision. So I truly don't believe that. I'm kind of like, okay, that wasn't the best decision, but it sure gave me everything that I needed to make better decisions moving forward. And something that I am truly just focusing on so hard right now is spending less time in indecision. It's a freaking waste. And really just saying, you know what? Either way, I have to make a decision. So just get it done. Whether this is in my emails, if I can't answer it on the first open, then I'm just deleting it. So I can't spend all of this time and indecision. Should I say yes? Should I say no? I don't know. I don't want to hurt their feeling. Wham, bam, get it done, move on. There's not time for all of the indecision. You have to decide in that moment what you're going to do and don't revisit it. So ask yourself, how can I decide right now so I don't have to visit this again and create more work later? You're not only creating more work for your yourself later, but you are creating more work for yourself in the interim. And you're draining your willpower because knowing that you have to go back to it is now putting that screen, right? It's putting that screen in the back of your head and leaving it on. So I use this analogy all the time where we open up our computers or our phones and we click into a million different screens and we never close out of them. So what we wanna make a habit of and what happens when you don't close out of it is it runs your battery down. So you may not see the screens. You might have them all along the, you know, bars, underneath anything that you can see on your front page of your screen. But it's same thing on your phone, right? You only see the one thing that you're focusing on. You don't know why the battery on your phone is going down so fast. It's because you have every program running in the background. So when we can start just visiting and closing out, visiting and closing out, deciding, closing out, deciding, closing out, deciding, closing and make peace with it, your life starts to move forward. Where can you make a decision and decide that you're okay with the feedback either way? Because it's feedback. So when you're in indecision, you're not getting any feedback. You're making up feedback in your head and you're making up stories, and those stories are draining your willpower as well. And nothing real is actually happening besides the fake stories that are going on in your head, draining all of your energy. So where can you decide right now? Visit it once, click out of it, and just deal with what happens. Deal if someone's upset. But as long as your intention is love and moving forward and making sure that you are living in your purpose, I promise you, when you live in your purpose, God's got your back. When you live in your purpose, God has got your back, or energy or universe has your. It's a universal law. When you are stepping into your purpose, whether you make what you think is the wrong decision or not, you get the feedback that you need. You get the backbone that you need. You get the strength that you need. And as long as you come from love and have the intention of love, whether you are misunderstood or not, you move forward. If you're misunderstood, that's a clear sign that that person is not meant to be on your journey anymore. If you've had a loving conversation with them and they still don't get it, or don't love you, or don't like you, or don't like how you're living, it's time to keep moving forward and create a group of people in your life who do support you. And then the craziest thing happens is eventually that person will probably come back and say, please teach me how you became so strong and how you deal with all of these negative people. And you still move forward on your dream to live a life that you love on your own terms and not live other people's lives. So this all starts with a decision. Just decide. Decide to send the email. Decide to ask the question. Decide to start the business. Decide to write the list of things that you need to do first. So here's another way to get out of indecision. Like write down the exact list of everything that you will need to get started and what that will look like. So for me, I have a business that I want to start right now. The first thing on there is I need an NDA. And because I don't know where I should get my NDA, I'm going to contact my lawyer. I'm pretty sure she can do it and say, what do I need if I want to start a business like this? What type of NDA do I need? And how do I have people, you know, sign it? How do I ask about it so she can help me get started? So the next thing is I probably need someone to help me really figure out how I'm going to create this particular thing. So I'm going to Google tonight how I would go about doing that if I were wanting to start this type of company. So I'm going to write a list of my first action steps that I need to do in order to do it. And I'm going to get out of indecision by looking at this list and just beginning. So you guys, we sit and we're like, should we do it? Should we not do it? Why don't you write down everything that would be involved in it and then just start one step at a time. I heard something beautiful this weekend from Harriet Hale, and she said, the desires that you have are never a no. Like when you get excited and you get an idea, it's never not a no. Like our soul is always going to give us a yes. So the negative parts of us and the parts of us that try to talk it out of us is our ego. So if we're getting a yes, if we follow through and don't ever quit like we're, it's going to be successful. So you're like not sure on that. Well, even if it's not successful, technically, it's still a success because you learned all of the feedback and you decided and you went through with it and it brought you to the next thing. Sometimes we don't get to have the massive reward and success without the failure. So start. Follow the thing. Follow the thing. And I know that you're sitting there like, yeah, but I don't want to fail and I can't afford to fail. Do you think any of us can? Do you think any of us want to? But here's the deal right now, decide what type of life you want to live. Do you want to be an indecision? Like uncomfortable? I want to live this mediocre life that I'm not happy with every single day. And I get jealous of people who are living their best life. Well, decide because if that's for you, then stop thinking that the other life is for you. Because that's miserable. Right? That's miserable.

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There was a beautiful quote in the Power of Now and it says anytime that you believe there is a heaven outside of this moment, you create a living hell for yourself. So decide that if you don't want to live that life or don't want to do that business, just say no and cut it off and decide it's not an option for you anymore so that you don't have to live in your version of hell thinking heaven exists outside of you. If you do want to do it, decide and take all the action. And even if it fails, decide and accept that that was for you to find the next thing. But Stop the wishy washy. Never ever living, Never ever feeling alive and blaming everything external wondering why not you? Why not you Is because of you. So it's time to decide that it is for you. And you decide your worth. And you are your worth. And you are the secret weapon and you are the secret sauce. But you have to believe it. So I'm sending you guys so much love today. I pray this just helps you leap and make a freaking decision. Because an indecisive life is not a life that feels like you are alive. And I want you guys to feel what it feels like to just feel fully alive. Whether that's like, oh my God, what am I doing? Or oh my gosh, I cannot believe I did this, or wow, look at all the lives I'm affecting. Or, wow, that was the hardest lesson I've ever gone through. And it was the best thing that's ever happened to me in my entire life. Like, live. That is living. Living is not all rainbows and it's not all wins. That doesn't even equal a life. Life is the beautiful lessons. And every lesson you get, you get to decide in that moment where the beautiful, beautiful lesson is and how it made you stronger and how it made you better and how it made you more compassionate, more connected, more understanding, more approachable, more inspiring to people. A leader. You know, we don't love leaders because they're instantly successful or they had rich parents and now they're rich and they're amazing. We don't love leaders who have that story. We want the ones who are like, please tell me everything in between. And to be honest, I don't really think there are a lot of leaders like that. I think think we see what we want to see. And I think a lot of people who maybe we think have those lucky lives, they have worked so incredibly hard and have sacrificed more than we will ever know. So in order to become the person that we want to become, we have to go through all of those hard things. So, guys, I would love for you to go, rate, review, or tag me on your stories. Anything. If you love this podcast, truly sharing it and saying what your takeaway was or texting it to a friend is huge for me. It's huge for this podcast. It's huge to get awesome guests on. And if you learn anything from me, I hope it's that you ask. Because if I don't ask, then this podcast does not get to grow, which means it does not get as much time from me. And I also don't get to get the level of guests on that I want. And I really have some massive goals around this podcast. But the only people who can help me move it forward is you. So I'm sending you so much love. I'm always going to keep you guys posted in real time. What the hell is going on in my world, good or bad? Because I think that's what the good stuff really is. So thank you. I adore you, I love you and I'm so grateful that I get to share walks and car rides and trips with your family. And that just means the world to me that I get to be a little tiny piece of your journey. So my heart is sending yours a hug today. Bye Bye. Thank you guys so much for spending.

This time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment. Tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear. More of it would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again guys.

Bye Bye.