385: Soul transformation with Gina Meyers

It was a transformational ride. It was one for the books. Like, I'd never felt so supported and so understood and loved and it was everything that I needed it to be and I didn't want to show up.

Welcome to the Earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn, own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Welcome back to the show. I couldn't be more excited to share this woman's energy with you. This is somebody who has completely shifted my life. I get to connect and tap into her energy every Tuesday and Thursday morning at SoulCycle. She is a master instructor. She is a teacher, a preacher, a soul shifter. She is someone who walks in a room no matter how she is feeling, shows up completely vulnerable and wants us all to connect and learn something beautiful together about ourselves, about our lives and leave better for it. And this is truly what Gina Myers does for me every single Tuesday and Thursday at SoulCycle during my classes. And I will tell you that she is teaching just about every day to sold out rooms. She's a well known fitness instructor in the Los Angeles area. A celebrity trainer, she started her career in yoga and as a spin instructor in Venice. She is a master instructor now at Soul Cycle. She strives to create meaningful connections and believes vulnerability and love are the key to the foundations of a happy life. She offers a safe space for individuals to explore their limits, to challenge their minds and their bodies and most importantly, walk away feeling accomplished and successful. I can say she does all that and more for me. And off the bike, she enjoys spending quality time with her husband Brad, her son Royale and her two bulldogs. And Gina also was a speaker at the Bliss Project this last year where she took everyone through a transformational movement experience while she talked with all of us, spoke to all of our souls and really shifted us into a beautiful place. And you guys, I can honestly tell you that having this person in my life is truly something that helps me so much every single week. And we need community, we need our people, we need to Connect. And I can't wait for you to hear this conversation because I just think that the timing of it all and everything that went down on the day that she came to my house for the podcast was so beautiful. So let's get started. Gina, I'm so excited to have you on the podcast. Thank you so much for coming on.

Thank you for asking me.

So I was just saying every piece of me, like, just needs to say, damn, Gina, how many people say that to you?

A lot.

Like, you're like, I. I still smile every time because I try to make people feel better about it.

It's great. It's fine. It's totally fine. Some people, you know, will say it, and if there's a certain crowd around that doesn't remember the show.

Yeah.

They're like, don't get it.

I'm like, how do you not remember?

It's like a Fonz reference.

Oh, my God.

I did the Fonz reference, and it was like, no. Anyone? No.

I know. Every year that goes by, I'm like, wait, there's people, like, who aren't understanding certain things. It's crazy. I have, you know, right now, a younger assistant that we have to, like, update her on what things are like, oh, my God, this was, like, 10 years before your time. That's right. Okay. But she keeps us, you know, young and fresh.

That's good balance.

So, yeah, I thought this was going to be all about you today, but this morning you went and flipped that and made it all about me. So we're just going to talk about me. No, I'm just totally kidding.

Totally fine.

So, you guys, if you don't know, Gina was a speaker at the Bliss Project. But first and foremost, we met through Soul Cycle. And I actually, I took some of your classes when you were in Brentwood. Yeah, I think you remember that.

Yes.

But I just, like, put you on this pedestal because I was like, oh, my gosh, she's so good. And I literally remember going to some of your classes and this was. How long have you been in Soul Cycle?

Oh, seven years.

Yeah. I think this was, like, five or six years ago. Maybe five or something. And I kept on thinking, whenever I would hear you talk, I'm like, are we reading the same books? I would always say that to Chris. I'd be like, there's this instructor that I swear we're reading the same books because she says exactly what I'm thinking all of the time. Like, it's creepy.

I think I read your mind.

Oh, my. I think you read people's minds. I do. It's for sure the truth.

I'm standing there, and sometimes I just have a feeling that I have to say something, and I don't know where it came from. Like, I just keep hearing it, and I'm like, this is for somebody.

Oh, my God. Now, how did you get that level of trust, though? Because that truly takes trust, and that's what I do. When I'm speaking, I'm like, why am I. This is so not what I was going with. And all of a sudden, I'm talking about something completely opposite.

It's just the only way that it works for me. Otherwise, it doesn't feel authentic. Like, I have to completely surrender the minute I walk in. And I. I don't have anything planned. The only thing that is really planned is the lineup for the songs. I don't know how they're going to play out. I don't know how they're going to resonate, and I don't know what message is going to come up.

I just go, so to this day, it's still creepy. I'm just like. I feel like I have those digital, like, words going across my forehead, and I'm like, she can see me. She can see my thoughts.

I see your post sometimes, and I'm like, oh, we're aligned.

I just always wonder. And I hear, you know, as different people because we go to the. You know, we go to our lockers, and they're just like, I needed that so bad today. Or that's what was coming up for me. I'm like, me, too.

And I'm so grateful because I'm like, if it's not for someone. Yeah, what am I doing?

So maybe we should fill people in a little bit more on what Soul Cycle is. Even though if you've been listening to this podcast, you pretty much know what Soul Cycle is. So what was it to you when you first started, like, tell me about your journey.

SoulCycle first came to Los Angeles a little over seven years ago. They started scouting for instructors, and I was teaching at a little studio in Venice. I was teaching yoga and spinning, and one of their instructors came to take my class. And I just. I remember her in the room. Like, there's a room full of people, and everyone kind of just like, blends in. You know what I mean? And then there's this person. So there was this person, and she was, like, on the rhythm, and she was flipping her hair, and it was like this whole thing. And after class, she was like, thanks for Class. And she just left. I was like, wait, I have to talk to you. She had an energy about her. And the next day I had a message from her on my. Was it Facebook? Yeah, MySpace?

MySpace. Maybe the background's the best.

Let's hope it was Facebook.

It took like four hours to make, like, my backdrop.

And it was glitter. You can do a song. Oh, for sure, yeah.

Like my. Your whole, like, wannabe identity was on there.

Here I go again on my own. Like, you click on my page and.

It would just, like, start your music video.

Totally fine. So there was a message in my inbox from her. She really liked my class, that this new studio from New York was coming to la and they wanted me to audition. And I said, no, you did.

Why were you afraid?

Well, and I had a community already. Like, I was happy and things were working for me and I found my stride. And once you find a community, like, once you find people that support you and, like, count on you and depend on you, and they're there every 6:30. Like, that was my time slot. 6:30pm it just. You just don't walk away from that.

Right?

You don't walk away from your community. And I just, I said no. But a couple other instructors did audition and they called me afterwards and they're like, you have got to audition for this studio. Wow, it's gonna be amazing.

Okay.

And they reached out again. Are you sure? We'd love for you to take a class or just meet with us and talk. And I said, oh, actually, I can't. I'm gonna be in New York. And they're like, fantastic, we're in New York. So I took my first Soul Cycle class and I was blown away. I was confused. Like, everyone's first Soul Cycle class.

Why are people confused?

Why are we doing push ups?

How.

How is everyone on the same foot? Like, how is everyone moving together at the same time?

Right? How.

Wait, there's a clap.

How do my hands come up the handlebars to clap? Yeah.

How are we clapping? We. Hold on. Did she just say, you know, like, did the instructor just say exactly what I was thinking to myself in the shower this morning? Or, you know, all of a sudden there's. It's like a spiritual connection that is, like, generated and connected through, like, energy. It's just like a womb of, like, supportive energy and, like, transformation. Like, everyone's there to do something special and you can't deny it.

You're in it.

Like, you're on that wave. So that's. That's how it started. I took a class, and after class the instructor is like, come back at noon to audition.

You were like, okay, okay.

I said, okay. So then what?

I just get on the bike and you started doing what?

Girl? I was like, I don't have any CDs. I still had a flip phone. Like, I still had that razor. I don't know, like the really skinny phone.

Girl, I sold cell phones. I totally know.

Okay. So I had the razor and I would not part with my razor even though iPhone had come out with a phone. I was like, oh, heck no. Look how thin this is. I had to go. So she was like, no, no, no. Just bring your iPhone or your, you know, your ipod. I have none of the Apple things. I was k. I'm Tapes? Yes, yes.

Can you play a tape?

Yeah. Right. A boombox. I brought up my boombox. So I went to the Apple Store. That was where I went. I left the studio, I went to the Apple Store. I bought an iPhone.

Wow.

And I doubt this was a big day for you. It was a huge. It was an expensive day, life changing. And I bought two songs. I bought two songs on iTunes and I showed up with my new iPhone. And I talked to three people in the room and the founder of the company was in the room watching.

Oh, my God.

And she said, can you move to New York? What'd you say? No, no, until it's yes.

Yeah.

I said, no. You know, I have a dog. And that was like my. I have a dog.

Yeah, totally.

She's like, bring her. Like, it's not that kind of dog.

This is a very rooted dog.

This. It's a bulldog. These dogs are complicated. They are.

They really.

They have a lot of issues. And I just can't take her out of her place. So I figured out the dog. She was like, figure it out. Like, let's talk. Go back to la. Let's stay in touch. And yeah, that's what happened. I made arrangements for someone to take care of my dog and I packed my bags and I moved to New York.

How long was that? Did you move to New York? For how long were you there?

Maybe three months, four months.

Okay, and then they transferred you back?

They tried to keep me.

Ah, they did. And you were like, no.

Maybe you could. Yeah, absolutely. I just cried. I was like, I can't. I just. New York is a different vibe.

Yes, totally.

And I joke, like, New York had enough of me, but, like, I couldn't. I couldn't catch my breath there. It just moved so quickly. And I did find community there, but not what I had here. And it was just, it was just. This is, this is my place. My roots were here. I needed palm trees and sand. I know that water is west in New York. Water everywhere.

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It's so interesting because for that part of your story there, there's some really powerful stuff right there because you, a lot of people for that opportunity would have, number one been like, we'll just make it happen. We're going to do anything. But also like having the, like knowing something is great, but also that the environment that you were in was not a place where you could necessarily thrive no matter how great the opportunity was. And I think so often we can forget that. Like, yes, you have to go do the hard thing, which you did. But also to stand really firm in making sure that the environment that you are in or creating for yourself is thriving.

Absolutely.

And that's huge. So you moved back.

I moved back, started teaching in West Hollywood.

Okay.

That was the first studio that we had. Oh my gosh. That drive. Well, if you're not in Los Angeles and you do visit Los Angeles, you.

Must explain because like it's. It's real. Like I had no idea.

It's. Right. Okay. So if you're not from Los Angeles, come visit and stay where you want to be.

Yep. Because that's where you'll be.

Because that's where you gonna be. If you want to do the beach. Stay by the beach.

Yep.

You know, if you're. I don't.

What was it? 45 minutes? 60, 70, 90 minutes? Well, the morning.

So I taught the 6am And I lived in Santa Monica, so I lived by the beach. And I'm moving and then driving. It's not mid city, but kind of ish. Right? Mid north.

Yeah.

It. It didn't take that long, but it was. I. The way that it works for me to create that which is in the room. To create the room.

Right.

Totally.

I make a playlist right before class.

Yep.

Every single day. I don't repeat a playlist. I don't teach the same class. On Monday and Wednesday or Tuesday, I make a new one every time. So I would have to get up extra early, give myself permission to drive that far, and then to sit and make a playlist and then start class at 6am Yep. And then leave, go back to the beach, and then I would teach like a 4:30 and like a 7:30.

Oh, my gosh, that's a long day. That's like. That's what we call in the waitressing world working a double. And it's like a nightmare because you're never actually off.

Oh, yeah, I waited those tables. Yeah, I did that.

You're never actually off. You're kind of just like, this is a fake break, everyone.

And you're eating the entire time. Yes.

You're like, it's just one French fry every two minutes. It's fine.

It's fine. It's totally fine. And then you get your break for a meal and you're like, I'll have pizza.

Yeah, it's. That's the only thing I look for. Oh, I also.

This was.

You don't really do this at SoulCycle, I'm sure. But because of waitressing, you never get a break. I started smoking just to get breakfast.

Are you serious?

Yeah, I'm serious. I was 18 and I was like, wait, so you're telling me only the smokers get breaks? And I was like, I'm gonna start smoking. Like, it was literally like, I'm gonna start smoking. I did that? Yeah. Really smart move to everyone out there. Please don't do that.

But, yeah, well, look, I've considered smoking to be able to, like, go out and just be outside where everyone's talking.

Exactly.

You know, everyone's gonna go out and smoke and be social.

And I'm. That was a big part of it too, to be honest.

Yeah, yeah.

Like, I'm not going to smoke, but every single person, I'll just be right here. Again, not a good idea. This is not a podcast that wants people to smoke. But hey, you know, we love you all. So moving on. Yeah, left, right? Oh, I know. It's the best. We take him all over. So you were in West Hollywood then. That just was not working out for you necessarily anymore. So what did you do?

Well, I stuck with it because I knew it was temporary. Yeah, Brentwood was coming. It was already on the book. The studio was already under construction, and I was just white knuckling for Brentwood still. And what's so funny is, like, I still remember being in West Hollywood trying to build that community, but still not so rooted in. Because I knew I was leaving.

Yes, totally. I've so been there so many times.

Right. So I knew the next studio was coming and that was gonna be my home studio. That was even the way they, like, phrased it in all the emails and our conversations, like, when Brentwood opens, this will be your home studio. So I was just waiting for home.

Yeah. And did it feel that way when it came?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, it was great.

Wow, that's so awesome.

And it still feels that way.

Yeah, that's so great. And I will. I will tell you, you definitely make it feel that way and everyone's fricking amazing. But there are. I think it's. When you go in with the mindset, which is what I want to also share with everyone, is truly it's what you're creating. Because there are. Sometimes I go there, it doesn't feel like home.

And it's not.

It's never. It's just the. It's the thought process of either the person running it or sometimes that could be me as well. Like, oh, maybe I view this person as home and maybe not. But what I love about SoulCycle is that it truly just with even everything you said, it is going to be whatever experience you choose it to be in that room. It can be a, you know, for some people, like a dark hell if you go into it like that.

Or.

But it is. You really need to. The number one thing that I've learned from SoulCycle is like, I will literally create whatever I think in here.

Absolutely.

I can create whatever I think in here. So it brings up a lot of. It can bring up a lot of challenges and darkness and fear. And I can. The beautiful thing is I can see it. And it's not necessarily from the room, you guys. This is just from when you drop inside of yourself.

Absolutely.

And it's obviously not just Soul Cycle, but there is something about being in that room where you are a bit like, hey, yeah, you're working out, but you're also kind of here to work on your shit and you didn't know it.

Surprise, surprise. These are your feelings. You have to deal with them. They're sweating out of your pores.

You're like, is everybody feeling this way? Yes, they are. I think it is. Because it is such close quarters and you are kind of like creating that really intimate experience, and you're being led through that experience. Whether you know it or not. You are literally being led down a journey. So for you, I know that, yes, this came with Soul Cycle as well, but clearly, because you created a community, this was something that you did. And I think for many people who listen to this podcast, they either are people who are in this experience right now. Well, we're always in the experience. Right, but how did you learn to create that experience for people along the way?

We worked closely. As far as. I'm like, how do you answer that? You know, let me. Let me.

Because I'm sure some of it is. Some. For some people, they do feel a room more than others. But I do think that there's an art to it.

There is an art to it. There's a process. Right. So you have. You can't just get to there.

Yeah.

That happens over time and getting vulnerable. You have to be willing to show up and be seen and flawed and share what's happening in your world and what's happened in your life. And like, I show up and I. I mean, I over. I'm an oversharer.

Oh, I love it. I'm all about it.

I'm like, I tell you all my everything. Yeah. Everything that I've been through. Do I give you all the details? No, we don't have that much time. But. But you go get the gist of it.

Yeah.

I think first you figure out your vibe. What kind of instructor do you want to be? Who do you want to be to these people?

And you guys, as she's saying, instructor, like, honestly, this is everything. How do you want to show up in the world? What type of person you want to be? What type of friend? What type of leader, speaker, you know, influencer, whatever that looks like.

Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. How do you want to be seen?

Who.

Who are you bringing? Who are. Who are you? You have to know yourself. And I think you know the craft of it all. Like, first you learn your music, you learn your vibe. You. You have to do the work on your end to know who you are and be okay with who you are. Not necessarily confident. Yeah, Because.

Because that's not real. I'm just kidding.

Right.

Because I'm still trying to figure out if that's real.

Because, I mean, that comes and goes.

Yeah, it really does.

It does. It's. It's like it's there. It's not there.

Yeah.

You're secure, you're insecure, and you just keep acting.

You just.

Yeah. You know, there are days that I show up to the studio and I feel like my personal life, like I am failing and I don't want to show up.

What does that look like when you feel like you're failing.

It looks like numb. It feels numb. It's like a flat line.

Yep.

You know, that's not. I run on a. My highs are really high.

Yeah.

And then when it's not, when it's not hitting, like when it's just not there, it's numb. It's confusing. And I'll sit in my car and I'll just look at my computer and I have to talk myself into it. I really do. And I know the minute that I walk in that door and I smell that grapefruit candle burning on the front desk, like it's on. You have to be on because it's not about you anymore. When you show up, there are, you know, sometimes 63, 64 people showing up. And not just like once. I teach back to back. So I have 120something people showing up and I have to show up. I can't not show up.

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Oh my God. I love what you're saying right now because it's literally been just the key for me too. Like, you're not. Here's the thing, your feelings, they're like waves. They can be. Every single wave can be different. And this can all happen in the range of the hour before you have to show up for something or the month before or the year before. And I will tell you that the main thing that I hear from people who listen to this podcast is just like, how do you do it when you're scared? Yeah, but I have anxiety. Yeah, but this is, you know, this person's against me. Or I'm afraid that they're gonna make fun of me. I'm like, yeah. And then when you show up, that all disappears because you realize you're not showing up just for you and you are moving forward for other people. So when you're, it's like it goes from that moment of sitting in your car, making it about you and your life and feeling numb, which is, by the way, so acknowledged and normal. And I so feel that quite a bit. And then I'm like, you need to show the F up for yourself first by walking in there or doing the thing. And then you remember what it's actually about.

Yep.

And sometimes, yeah, it does take a shake up. Right. Like sometimes in your life you're probably like, yeah, I'm flatlining because I am not doing anything new or different. Yeah. Have you had that?

Oh, yeah.

So then what?

I do the same thing every day. Right? Every day I'm. I mean, especially this week. I Mean, I'm teaching. I'm teaching Saturday to Friday.

Wow.

Like, every day I'm showing up and I'm playing music and I'm on the mic and I'm on the bike and I'm. I don't necessarily know what's expected of me because I don't ever ask. Yeah. I can only assume what I think people are looking for.

Right.

And that can take you a place.

Yeah.

You know, like, I can't. Maybe I should ask, but I feel like I'll tell you.

I think the only thing I ever expect of. I think the only thing I ever expect is for, like. There's not even that word expect, and I don't even want to. Yeah.

It's weird.

This is just such a fun topic because I think it's like, if we all just showed up truly as. As. As us as we possibly could. That's the gift. Like, there is no other expectation around that. When, you know, someone is just gonna. They are on the path of trying to show up the most them. Because I wouldn't want someone to show up opposite. Because we feel that, like, it's. It's literally like we actually feel it, you know? So I don't think I'd ask because I wouldn't want that expectation in my head.

Right. Well, I've already made up my mind that I think they want anyway, so I'm like, that's not what you want. I know what you want.

You think you want that, but they want. I think we all want authenticity, even when we think we don't.

Absolutely.

So that's the part that if that's the trail you're blazing, that's why your classes are always so popular, is because we're all craving to try to be the most authentic version of ourself. But we don't know how to do that unless we see someone give themselves permission first.

Absolutely. And there are days I show up and I don't really say much where I just let the music play and we ride. And those days in particular are days where I just. I can't. Those are more like the numb days. Yeah, those are. Those are the days where I just. I can't force it. It's just where I am. And some of those classes, some of those days are the most powerful because that's really when you get to hear yourself and you get to pay attention to yourself more than you're paying attention to me. And what I'm going to say, like, I'm. When people say to me, like, you've changed my life. I've said, no, no, no. I've just witnessed you changing your life. You did it. You're showing up every day for you. I can't make you show up here. I can't say. You need to hear this part. This is the part that's going to change your life. You were ready for it. You were ready for it. It settled. It resonated with you, and you took it and you did something with it. And I'm glad that I was there to witness it. And I'm proud of you and keep coming back because there's more.

Oh, my God, how beautiful. And I also want to point out, when you're like, oh, some days I'm quiet and I just let the music and the people do their thing. It's also such a beautiful way to look at that. Even when you're quiet, it's like number one. I think it's so important to experience the diversity of that, even in a class setting. But this is obviously. I just feel like we are using this as, you know, class equals life. It is life. No, it is.

It is.

It's literally, this is life class with Gina. It's making everything in your life a classroom. Because I use this as. And I try to share this with people as much as possible. Like, my workouts are an analogy for. For my life. And what happens in that room is an analogy for how I'm showing up in my whole life. But what I love is that on those days where you're like, you know what? I need to be more quiet today. The universe, whether it's your playlist or whether it's people in the room feeling their story that day and cheering or wooing or whatever, it will support you back. Because it's all just constantly back and forth. It's just a back and forth, energetic trade. And when you don't have it, someone else does. Absolutely. And it's a beautiful thing.

It really is. There have been times where I've shown up to the studio in tears. I mean, couldn't even get words, you know, that, like, you go to talk and you're like. And I've asked the room for permission. I've said it before. It starts. You can see it. I wear my feelings. I just do. I'm that person. I'm that open.

Yeah.

And I'll ask, can we just ride my feelings?

Yeah.

And the room's like, yes. You know, there was a day a couple months ago. I'll never forget it. I will never forget was in Santa Monica and I showed up to the studio. It was right after we did our second IVF transfer, and the embryo didn't take. And I had just gotten the call the day before, and I had to teach, and I prayed, I guess, and we were just talking about this before we came on, but I just asked the universe, like, just please let it be a room full of women. And the entire room was women.

Oh, my God, it's gonna make me cry.

And when I looked up and I just. And everybody. And I took everyone on my journey with me, the ivf, the fertility journey, so that everyone knew, and. And I felt like everyone was waiting because they knew that the results were coming. So they were waiting for me to be like, yes or yes, no or no. Right? And they knew when I walked in, they could just. You can feel it, you know? And I just asked them permission, like, do you mind if we just ride my feelings? I might not have much to say today. And they cheered. And it was a transformational ride. It was one for the books. I'd never felt so supported and so understood and loved, and it was everything that I needed it to be. And I didn't want to show up.

Showing up and being vulnerable enough to just ask for their support.

I needed it.

I think as women, that's so challenging to say, I need support today.

Yeah.

Can you show up for me? And letting them was probably the most beautiful ride for them.

Oh, yeah. We all cried.

Yeah.

It was like. It was so beautiful. I just. I needed it. I needed that.

Wow. Okay, we're just going to stop there. Just kidding. We're not. We've got too much to say right now. Something that I love watching is the. The way your husband loves and supports you and the way that you adore him and how funny you guys are. Oh, my God. I watch your stories and I'm like, they're like my secret best friends. Truly, you know, people, you're like, oh, my God. This is like. They're exactly like us. This is hilarious, you guys. If you. If you don't watch her stories, it's.

Definitely worth watching just to watch my husband, really.

But would you share a little bit about. I know you share it in class, but I think it's a really powerful story about your. Just how you guys met. Would you share a little bit about that?

Absolutely. Well, the first time we met, because I'm a no girl. The world is a world of yes. And I'm like, no until it's yes. So I was living here in Santa Monica and It was right at this point in my life where I had decided to change. It was like, you know, if you were around.

When was that? How many years ago?

Seven years ago. Okay, seven years ago I was 30. And I talked about this at the Bliss Project. Like, that's where I started my story. Like this. I had to change my life. I was lying to myself and everyone, and I had to learn how to love myself. And what did that look like?

Like, how were you showing up in your life before that? And what were the thought. What was. What were the thoughts going on in your head that you were like, I can't live this way anymore. What did that feel like?

I was showing up for everyone else.

Okay.

I wasn't showing up for me at all. I didn't spend any time alone. I was just almost desperate for love and attention and affection, and I was giving so much of my energy and my time and my attention away. I had nothing for me to friends to work, to friends to work, to family, boyfriends, to broken relationships that weren't working that I was trying to force to work to. I mean, everything. I mean, anything that could take me away from myself, I invested in.

Sounds like me at 30, right?

Yeah. Great. And I had always made the promise to myself, like, the 20s. My 20s are for me.

Mm.

I'm taking my 20s. I'm doing what I want, and you can't stop me, and I'm confident, and I got this, and, oh, man, I could not keep that up. I was so tired. I was so tired, and I was so unhappy, and I couldn't understand, and I didn't feel loved. I didn't feel seen. I didn't feel understood. You know, I had gone through, like, a really bad breakup, and I got my own apartment. I was living alone, and.

Which never helps when you're from living in that way.

Right. Well, I went from, like, living in the house and, like, this whole dream that I created, this big investment that I made emotionally to forcing it for over a year, for sure. Like, just so uncomfortable, just with a boyfriend.

Yeah. Okay.

The boyfriend, the house, the everything. Everything that went along with it, I mean, just didn't work. And I tried to make it work, and I tried to, like, you're like.

This is working for everyone else.

What else can I make for you happy? What else can I do to make you happy? What else can I do to get your approval? What else can I do to get you to want to love me? Right. And still not feeling loved?

Yeah.

I'd be like, you don't love me.

So when was the switch over that you were like, whoa, this is not me. Or what was the moment of just like, I can't do it anymore.

I just hit a point where it was like, you know that time I talk about this sometimes in class when you're waking up in the morning and you're not fully awake yet, but you're talking to yourself.

Yep.

In one of those moments, the voice just said, enough. This can't be your life. You won't make it.

Yeah.

Like, you won't make it. The thoughts I was having were unhealthy. Like, I've thought about it. I thought about, you know, it'll make me cry. You know, I went there. I would never do it, but you go there. Like, how much longer can I do this?

Right?

I can't do this anymore. What do I have to do? I need help. I realized I needed help.

Is that what the voice was like, you need help.

You need help. You need help. So I picked up the phone, and I called an old boss who was always like, you're meant for greatness. You don't see how great you are. Where's that boss? He's in Beverly Hills. He's amazing. I was his photo assistant, and I worked for him for a while, and I called him and I said, I need your help. And he's like, finally. What can I do? I said, I need you to get me a hotel. He's like, are you okay? I said, I'm gonna be okay. I need you to get me a hotel. And he did.

Wow.

Because I didn't know how I was gonna do it, you know, like, if you're not set up for that, how are you gonna do it? I think that's, like, a big thing that holds you back. You're like, I don't have the money to just walk away from everything. How am I gonna make it? You have to ask for help. So I moved into a hotel, and I started looking for an apartment, and I moved into this apartment, and I started taking walks at the beach with my dog. I would take my dog every single day with me to work, to teach yoga and spinning. And then we would drive down to the pier in the marina, and we would go on a walk. And I met my husband. That was the original question. Can you believe it? Five minutes later. Yeah. So I was walking my dog on my therapy walks with myself, alone. No music, no phone, no. Just.

What was happening during those walks? How long? Like, how long did you walk for? Number one, not time Wise, but, like, you know, like, months or weeks that. Until you felt like, were you walking on them? Like, I need a message? Or were you praying or were you just clearing or what was. What were a lot of your walks like?

My walks were trying to find joy and enoughness in just being on a walk with my dog. Like, just letting this be good enough. Like, this is better and this is progress, and this is quality time. And that dog. I love her. I mean, she saved my life more than once. I was responsible to her.

Yeah.

I always had to go home.

Everyone's gonna get a dog after this.

You should.

You should.

You should.

Waffles, like, legitimately.

Everything.

Raffles. Raved. My wife, too.

Yep.

Yeah.

So, yeah, I would walk and I would breathe, and I would just think about how grateful I was that I lived here in California and how I could take care of myself. And it was a lot of focus on how well I was doing for myself, just reminding myself that I could do it. And I just had to be with me to see that I was doing it for myself. Because a lot of, like, the talk that was coming at me before was, you know, you're needy, you're codependent, You're. Oh, you're so desperate. You're this. You're all these, like, things that I. That stuck with me. And I didn't think that I believed them, but they affected me. Like, you can't help but be affected by that. It's like, you remember warm and fuzzies? Did you get those in school? They're like those little fuzzy things with sticker feet. Oh, it was, like, my favorite thing in school. They did this, like, feelings app, like, not project, but whatever experience where they hand you these, like, cute little fuzzy critters with sticker feet. And some of you out there that are listening are going to know what I'm talking about. And anytime someone said something to you that made you feel warm and fuzzy inside, you would give them.

Aw.

Yeah. A warm and fuzzy. At any time someone said something to you that didn't make you feel that way, you would take one away so you could gauge, like, your. Like, the way that people make you feel and how you make people feel. And it was like. It was really a practice in empathy and compassion.

Yeah.

Teaching kids about feelings and all that stuff.

Right.

So, you know, I wasn't getting those warm and fuzzy feelings from all the people I was surrounding myself with, but that was just a reflection of the emptiness I had inside. So I just decided to, like, push it all away. And just be with myself. And I cut everybody out of my life. I cut everyone out of my life. I haven't talked to my mom in years. I just saw my dad at Christmas, and I hadn't talked to him in, oh, my gosh, probably eight years.

How did that go, going back? Because I share sort of a tiny bit of a similar story around that with parents, and I had to find it in myself first before I could go back to an environment that maybe wasn't ideal or just something that I believed. So what did you. What had you realized in the time spent alone? About what you needed to do or who you needed to be in order to go back? And then what happened when you went back?

Well, I. The reason I walked away. I walked away from. My mom and dad are not married, so they've never been married. I always lived with my mom growing up. And then I had the opportunity to move to California, and I begged my dad to move to California. Mind you, I'd never spent really much time with my dad at all before that. I saw him on holidays and occasionally babysat for his girlfriend's kids.

Okay.

Right. So I was like, hey, will you move to California for me? When I was 15, so I stopped talking to my mother. She has major addiction issues that are tied into shame, like, family shame for some things that have happened in the past. And, I mean, we all have those family things. And my dad and I, we didn't have the history. We didn't have, like, the. That bonding time where we could, like, trust each other. Like, he didn't really know me, and I didn't really know him, but we were gonna live together, and he was. And he was gonna be my dad.

Yeah.

And I was 15. So that's just, you know, that's gonna work out great.

Awesome.

That's like flourless chocolate cake. It's like, how am I going to do this without flour? Never tried.

Well, figure it out.

We'll figure out this. We'll see. So when my dad and I, when we started living together, it was. It was a struggle, you know, at first, like, we kind of just treated each other like friends. And, you know, as time went on, the relationship kind of changed. There's some, like, you know, you want that kind of a good rapport, a good relationship. You want. You want a dad, right? You want your parents. You really do. But when it came to not talking to my dad, it was literally, it was just communication issue. Like, we. I. My grandmother is on a pedestal. My dad's mother. I stayed with her every single weekend of my life. And was it good the week I was born? Okay. She's like, kind of your mom. She's the one. Like, she's the reason.

Yep.

She's the. The voice that's like, yes, you can. Yes, you can. You're. You're gonna. Yes, you can. Every single time. She was the person. You know, if you were to ask anyone I was growing up with, like, what was going to happen to me based on my family.

Yeah.

They were like, oh, well, she's going to live in Ohio. She's going to. She's going to get pregnant as a teenager, and she's probably going to be an alcoholic and a drug user, because her mom is. And she's. You know, who knows? She might be a nurse. She could end up on food stamps and be a bartender. I don't know. But the expectations weren't high. But my grandmother was like, absolutely not. This is not your story. This is not what's gonna happen to you. And I spent a lot of my life trying to prove to everybody that I wasn't gonna be what they decided I was gonna be based on my family. And my grandma always knew, and she always set me up for success. Like, she always. Every weekend, it was like, okay, guiding. Yeah, you're gonna go to Barbizon. You're gonna go to modeling school.

Yes. Yes, I remember that. You could get, like, these flyers or something. I don't even remember, but I had gone to, like, a couple of their little events or something where they. Where. You don't know it, but they're telling everyone they can be a model because they want your model.

Or just look like. Yeah, you could be a model or just look like one. That was, like, their slogan.

Let me pay them. Just tell me where to pay.

We. Them. Yeah, we paid them. I was Ms. Barbizon Cincinnati 2 years running.

Oh, my God.

Girl.

I just want that on the. Like, in the. In your bio. I'm just gonna add that there's so.

Many things that are not in that bio, because I'm like, did you put that I was a Barbizon model?

Well, we're putting it. I'm just kidding.

Barbizon model. Drag Race superstar. Okay, you.

I don't want to skip this, but we do need to bring that up, the drag racing, so. Okay, back to parents, because I'm about to go to the racing.

I'm so sorry. Okay. So when I stopped talking to my dad, we. Honestly, we just were. I was coming to the defense of my grandmother. There was, like, a family argument, and I. And we were at dinner, and I was trying. What I was trying to do was smooth things over, and he very firmly put me in my place and told me to stay in my own lane. And it just escalated. Things just escalated. And because there wasn't that foundation of trust, it was like cut and run. And I had already not been talking to my mother because of the drugs and alcohol for years. So I was like, you know, par for course, like, okay, fine, I just don't have parents, but I have my grandma.

What did that do? Because I do think there are many people listening who don't feel like they have anyone, maybe not even a grandma. But I know that maybe she was in your head, but she wasn't necessarily physically with you. No. So what would you tell somebody who's kind of just in that same place right now? Like, they don't know. I know there are so many people who just feel like their reality is not matching with who they know they are. And it's like that inner fight. What would you tell somebody who's there right now? Like, all I can think of is just. Even your walks, it's a huge.

What's happening for that person when they're in that stage is like, I use the analogy of the plant that's outgrown the pot, where you're so comfortable in this space, it's everything that you've known, but your roots have now outgrown that. And now your. Your growth is stunted, and you're gonna start to die, like, eventually, if there's not enough room to grow, the leaves fall, it stops. It just completely stops. And it gradually you lose the plant, leaving that space that you're in, that transition space. You haven't found the next pot, the bigger pot, or. You know what I mean? So it's just a huge growth period. And it's scary, but it's temporary. It's really temporary. And the days seem long and the nights are long, but the time is really short. The time is really short. And just honestly, if you can try and flip it in your mindset that this is something that is happening for you, not to you. Because it's really easy to get into, like, this happened to me, and things do happen to you. There are things that will happen to you, but it'll be in hindsight that you'll realize because that happened to you, something was happening for you in the background. It just hasn't come to light yet. So I just. I just trust where you are. Trust your intuition. Trust that voice that you were born with inside of you that knows you better than anyone else. You have that voice, and it's not the one between your ears. That's not the voice. It's deeper than that. You have to really spend some time to get away from that voice and go deeper. It just takes some time.

Yeah. Yeah. So you're on your walk, and you meet your husband.

There's a stray dog. There's a stray dog. Stray dogs need homes. Get your dog. Adopt a dog. There's a stray dog. And I took my dog off her leash and put the stray dog on my leash, and I started walking up and down the walk streets at the beach. There's, like, these little streets where the houses line up toward the beach, where you can't drive a car if you're not from Los Angeles, called the walk streets. And so I'm walking up and down, and my dog is still on the sidewalk by the street. And I'm going up and down these.

Your dog's like, did you find a new dog, Mom?

She's a bulldog. She's not very fast. That's right. Yep. Yeah. And she has. Her voice is like a Wazowski. Like a Monster's Inc. Waffles has her. Yep. And Sugar was like, mom. She had this throaty, totally bulldog, bulldog voice. So she stayed on her walk. She knew her walk. She was like, I'm on my walk, and I was looking for open gates, and I didn't see any. And I got back to the sidewalk, and there's a guy holding on to Sugar. Is this your dog? Yes, it is. Is this your dog on my leash? Your dog's not on a leash. I realize that, but, you know, she's not very fast, and she won't go into the street. This is a stray dog. I'm looking for the owner. Do you recognize this dog? And he helped me make signs. I took the dog to the local vet to see if it had a chip. We exchanged numbers and found the owner. And I text him, hey, I found the owner of the dog. Forget about the signs. Thanks for your help. He's like, hey, you want to go out?

What did you say?

No. You were mean to me about my dog.

That's so funny, because it's such an LA thing, too, sometimes. Like, put your dog on a leash.

It is a thing. It's like, you don't know if my. My child is allergic to your dog. Like, I'm sorry. I wasn't. I just.

Exactly. You don't Know if my child likes the color of a brown dog.

Okay.

We're a white dog.

Okay.

Yeah.

So I said no, and I went on with my Life. And then SoulCycle came in. I left. I went to New York. I came back. I started teaching at SoulCycle. West Hollywood, Brentwood, Santa Monica. Santa Monica opens, and his sister starts taking my class. Now, mind you, he just disappeared. He's gone. I said, no, he didn't. There was no fight on. He was like, okay, yeah, it's fine. His sister starts taking my class, and she brings her brother to class, and he's writing class.

He didn't know.

No. Neither one of us knew. Neither one of us knew. I became friends with his sister, and she's like, you should really date my brother. I'm like, no.

Let'S stay friends, because I have the.

You know, I think, like, this is my job.

Right.

Totally. And I really respect the experience in the room. I know what happens in there is, like, magic. And if it's happened for him, I don't want to ruin it by dating him.

Right. Totally.

I'm a train wreck. You know what I mean? Like, he. I'm like, gina on the podium.

Yeah.

And meanwhile, in my head, I'm like.

My life's a mess.

I don't know what I'm doing.

It's so crazy to me, though, because I'm like, oh, my God. It's so crazy that you thought you were a train wreck outside of that. And somehow sometimes we get those places in our life where we do get to blossom and show who we really are. And it just was like you had. That was your spot of showing who you really were, 100%. And then sometimes life, just the rest of life, the rest of it, to catch up. Right?

Absolutely. It does. And it happens in phases. It can't all happen at once.

No, no.

That's traumatic.

Yeah, it.

That is traumatic.

It is.

It's like your brain can't register.

It's too much.

It's too much. It's like one pain at a time. Like, if you were able to feel all the things that happen in a car crash.

Yeah.

You would, like, pass out. Like, you'd go into a coma.

Yeah, some people do. If it's too much.

Yeah, it's too much. If you can't process what's happening to you, it's like, so something's got to give. Something's got to give. So cut to. So he's in class, and he finally asked me out. He asked me to go to a CIRQUE du Soleil show.

Hey, Fun, No?

Nope. Well, here's what I did. Honestly, this is what I did. He sent it through Facebook in the messenger, like, hey, I have two tickets for the Cirque du Soleil show tomorrow.

Because I always buy two tickets to the circus by myself.

Right. He swears he had the tickets and he forgot to invite someone. I don't know. But I sat there and I was like, oh, I really want to go to that show.

Yeah.

I don't want to go with him. What am I going to talk to him about? I don't know anything about this guy. I'm going to go to the circus with this guy. That's so weird.

Like.

Right? All of the thoughts, right? Like, what? I made it such a big deal in my head. I. I didn't respond to him until, like, the day of. And I was like, hey, got this message, so sorry. I was trying to clear my schedule, but I can't make it happen. Meanwhile, I'm sitting on my couch eating, like, garlic bread.

Did he go to the circus by himself?

He went to the circus by himself.

He went by himself.

I believe that he went to the circus by himself. And his sister talks about it all the time because he called her and was like, I invited Gina to the circus. And she was like, oh, my God, what'd she say? And he said. I mean, she said no. And she goes, oh, my God, you're not going to back to our class, are you? Oh, God, what are you gonna do? And he's like, yeah, I'm going back to her class. I don't care.

That's amazing.

He didn't care.

Yeah.

He was like, yeah, I'm going back to class. I don't care.

So he just kept writing.

So he kept writing for a while. Yeah. And I probably. I don't know, about nine months later, something like that. I needed help with my taxes. He's an accountant. And we had one of these. He had disappeared in class for a while, and he came back, and I was like, hey, where have you been?

I haven't seen you.

And he's like, oh, it's tax season. And I was like, oh, what do you do? And he's like, I'm a cpa. I'm like, what's that?

Yeah, exactly.

He's like, I do tax. I'm an accountant. I'm an accountant. And I was like, oh, hey, I need your help. Do you think that you and I could, like, talk? He's like, for sure. I said, why don't you come to my evening class next week. I'll buy you a bike. And we can go to, like, Sugar Fish and have sushi. And I can, like, bring my papers and tell you what I think I have going on that I'm going to get arrested for from the FBI, Right?

For sure. Been there, done that.

The IRS is coming for me.

Yeah. I don't know what I'm doing.

I don't know what I'm doing, but I think I lied.

You don't know if you lied. They almost like.

They almost know.

They almost turn. I feel like they spin you around like, seven times. Then they're like, figure it out.

Can I claim codependent? Exactly one.

So you go to Sugarfish, and he's like, a vegetarian. He's a vegetarian. So did he just eat the rice off of the rolls?

Right. Because it's a restaurant. For those of you who don't know this place, you can't change anything on the menu. It's like a set menu, and there's not a vegetarian option.

So he just sat there.

I said, why didn't you tell me you were a vegetarian?

Yeah.

He's like, I figured there would be something for me. I'm like, oh, this is horrible.

Okay.

So we didn't even end up talking about taxes. I mean, we did a little bit, but I didn't give him any of my paperwork. And we basically had a date. And we had, like, they needed the table. And we're like, let's go to this, you know, bar restaurant across the street and just continue talking. And we did. And then we had this really awkward hug, and we went different directions on the street, but we were parked right next to each other. So then, like, we re met, like, yeah. Oh, I. Yeah, that. Yeah. And then I sent him a text message and said, thank you you so much, but I didn't talk to you about my taxes. Do you think that we could make time to. Actually, I really did need to talk to you about the taxes. He said, sure. What are you doing tomorrow?

Hmm.

Let's meet at, you know, this restaurant. And we had another date.

And that was it.

And we kissed, and that was it.

Wow. Yeah, I just find it so, like, sometimes when things are for you, they're just not gonna. You're not gonna miss them. Like, you can try to miss them, but eventually, if you are on the path of. Of even asking to figure it out or desiring to figure it out, you can't miss them. That's why I love that story, is if you start to get on the faithful path of just trying to figure your life out. It doesn't even have to feel like you are. Your walks were that version for you. And it's like, we're going to put some awesome stuff on your path. And because I know you haven't been listening for 30 years, this might take a while. So that's okay. Because this guy's real patient.

He is. And he's gonna come back in two and a half, three years.

Yeah, it's.

He's gonna come back for you.

Yeah. I find even just looking back on my path, I'm like, wow, you really can't miss what's for you.

You can't.

Some stuff you miss, and it's because it wasn't the best idea for you.

Yeah.

Or even stuff you've told everyone you're gonna do and you didn't do it. It's probably because you weren't actually meant to. And it, you know, made you learn so many beautiful lessons.

Sometimes things have to be on your terms. Sometimes they have to be on the universe, you know? And someone said to me yesterday, I was talking about surrendering, and she's like, look, you surrender or you get drugged down the street.

It's so true. It's so true. Is there something in your life right now that you feel like you are surrendering up?

I am always learning, and I pride myself on it. I really do try and learn from everything that happens. And I have done a lot of personal work on triggers and reactions and resilience, being able to recover quicker. And just because I can do that now, I have learned how to manage my feelings a little bit better or recover and not make things bigger than they are. I have to also be patient. My surrender is impatience because not everyone is on the same learning curve as you.

Is there something around impatience with people? You don't obviously have to say who they are. People or things that you're desiring in your life or both. I think both.

I feel like there's such a. I don't know if I put it on myself or it's just put on you from the world. The urgency to do everything now.

Yeah. No, Yeah. I feel that. I think it's the world.

It's the world. Right. And the time is now. Like, for sure, the time is now for you to decide that you're gonna go for it. But not. Doesn't mean throw it all. It doesn't mean throw everything down and run away from everything that you have. It just means, like, okay, I'm willing to be curious about what that is.

Yep.

I'm willing to, like, look around the corner. I'm not. I'm afraid of what's over there. But I don't have to, like, just walk out the door and turn right. Like, I can stand, like, a police officer going into, like, a building, like, against the wall by the edge of the door with my hands up and, like, peek around.

Yeah, totally. Yeah, totally.

I'm like, sometimes you need to peek.

And I love that you're saying that because it can be really. Especially. I just think social media, too, with just. We can pop on social media and someone's doing something new and big, an idea that might sound amazing to you or that you had, you know, and it's. I just can't help but think of what. It goes back to, what you said in this. That's just so beautiful. It always goes back to the moments of, can this walk be enough? Can this dog be enough? Because while the big, beautiful thing that you want to be doing is freaking awesome, you can really only do one big new thing at once, because something's got to give. I've had some years that are massive expansion years where a lot of things can come in at once, but it's not until you're totally ready for that. And even then, you can't last long. And even then, you have to go back to. When all that is said and done, back to the walks with your dog or whatever that looks like for you, like going in the woods alone or walking around your neighborhood. Can that be enough? Because nothing's going to make the big stuff any better. It doesn't.

You have to be enough for you. At the end of the day, you have to. No matter what your situation is, whether you're single or married, a mother or not, whatever is going on with you, you have to have your own life, and you have to really like spending time with yourself. You have to, even if you're, you know, comfortable in your relationship, in your life, and everything's working, you know, like, Brad goes off and he does things on his own. He goes off with his guy friends. He goes and does things alone. Last night I went and saw a movie by myself. I had dinner by myself. And it was kind of nice to be with myself. I was like, oh, yeah, I'm good to be around.

You like me.

Yeah, I like me.

I'm funny.

But you have to like you. Yeah. You come back to yourself. I think so much is happening that you lose sight of having you be Enough. You just have to be alone with yourself for a minute to see if you are. And if you're not, then there's the work. That's the foundation. Everything's built on that. This empire that you're building starts with you. You're at the base of that. So you have to make sure that you are rooted and grounded and your foundation is strong and you're happy with what it feels like to be you.

Oh my God. You're bringing me back to just. You know, there were points in my life starting around. Well, I don't even know, but it really hit around 30 when I was like, I just started saying, oh, validation equals attention. And, you know, I feel like the more attention you get, the more possible validation that that could be. Because I went throughout my life without having that. So it was like I almost had to collect so much of it to realize that that wasn't it. Because I was like, wait, I have spent years trying to collect it and nothing has changed. In fact, there's almost a deeper void because the hope that you had that validation was the thing that would provide the freeness. Now the hope is gone and now you have the validation and you're still not changed. And it's like, now what? So for so many people, when they ask, you know, how can I skip this part of my journey or what's advice you would give to a 20 something, I'm like, just go do whatever the hell you want right now, because it's not gonna matter what I tell you, right? Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Okay, so I wanna do like some rapid. These aren't complete rapid fire questions, but these are questions I want to get answers to. So let's see if I can get through like five of them.

Okay. Okay.

What is one of the biggest lessons that motherhood has taught you or one right now that's coming through for you?

Life is more fun and much easier if you're willing to play. That's so awesome. Okay.

What has being in a soul cycle room every single day just about taught you.

That there is a lot of love. There is a lot of love in the world for you. There's a lot of support and there's a lot of people that believe in you.

Why did you start racing cars?

Oh my gosh. It's so amazing. It was so fun. It was so fun. I thought I would so cool. My first car I bought for myself, I got myself a Mustang. I was like, I have a fast car. And I was bragging to this guy because I thought that it was so cool that I had a fast car. I was like, I love fast cars. And he's like, oh, yeah, you like fast cars? What kind of car do you have? I have a Mustang. I was like, 20. It was my first loan.

Totally.

My first debt. And he's like, like, you want to drive a real fast car? And I was like, yeah, I want to drive.

Oh, no. That guy.

Yeah, that guy. You want to drive a real fast car? And I was like, yeah, I do. And he's like, would you be willing to trade in your car for a faster car? And I was like, how expensive is that car?

Yep.

He's like, it's affordable. I said, for sure. Let's do it. And you did.

What was the. What was that car?

A Subaru wrx.

Okay.

All wheel drive.

And then you started racing it.

I bought a. Yeah, I bought a stick shift. Didn't know how to drive stick. He drove it off the lot, took me to a parking lot in the Valley, and I learned how to drive stick that day that I bought the car. And he actually, the reason he said that is he had a racing team and they built race cars.

Wow.

And he's like, if you get this car, which is an affordable car and a fast car because it's already turbocharged, yeah. I can soup it up for you super cheap, and I'll take you to the races and you can be a part of our team.

Wow. So what did racing cars teach you, like, the overall lesson in your life?

Oh, my goodness. Racing cars. I think racing cars for me was like, just freedom. Like, I was so. I didn't have anything holding me back. I was, like, so wholeheartedly invested in fun. That was one thing I didn't say no to. I heard yes, and it was yes. And there was a part of that. It drove my adrenaline and my serotonin. It affected me physically. And when things like that hit you, when you get opportunities like that, or something comes your way and it's like, it feels right. Like, trust it. There's freedom in that. And even if it's temporary, it's fun.

It's about that little taste that unlocks understanding what that could potentially feel or look like in the rest of your life.

Absolutely.

Yeah. What would it look like if you were free in this relationship? It's so crazy how the world is like, oh, she wants to feel freedom. She can race cars and she'll understand what this could potentially look like everywhere else. Oh, my God. What is something that you are craving more of right now? In your life, something that might be missing.

I'm trying to. I'm trying to figure out. And I've never. I say this. I never knew where I was going to end up or what I was going to do. Like, how could I ever know that I would be where I'm at, doing what I'm doing? And I feel inside of me that there's something bigger. And I'm trying to figure it out. And I know better than trying to figure it out. I know that I just need to trust and just go with the whole process, and I'm going to end up exactly where I belong. I know it. But I can't help but this feeling inside that. To get it sooner, to understand it. How do I make that happen? I know what I'm meant to do. I do. What is that? I'm meant to help people. Mm. It's my calling.

Yeah.

That's it. I love it.

I love watching you help people a little more each day.

I love it.

I'm watching you say yes to things that expands outside of your normal area of expertise. And I know how scary that is.

Super so.

And I know that, you know, just in a nutshell, I'm just sharing, like, you guys. I watched your journey to the Bliss stage. When I asked you to speak. No, it was so great because I've been on that journey. I go on that journey all the time.

It was so scary.

I was on it with you, though. Do you know what I'm saying? You're like, oh, my God, how do you do this? I'm like, I'm in it with you. I'm literally right there because I'm saying yes to things that are scary. So what was overall, what was that experience like for you, the Bliss project?

Oh, my gosh. Can I tell you that? That literally. I mean, it was like. You know how you hear the boom of a firework and then you see. Yes, it was firework. It was a firework. It was like the lead up to it, like the lighting of the. Of the wick or whatever. You know what I mean? It's like the buildup was so big, when it finally opened up, it was like an awakening inside of myself, soul, like, in my being. Like, this is what I'm called to do to. To a certain extent. Right, right.

Totally get it.

Like, I do it on a small scale every day.

Do it on a large scale.

It's a large scale, but.

All right, I'll let you get away with it.

A large scale, but compared to Bliss, I mean, there was 500 and or 600 women there. And on a daily. Yeah, I have a hundred people. That's a lot. I mean, that's a lot of people.

A lot.

On five days a week. Yeah.

In a very vulnerable way.

Okay, So I did five days in a 10 minute. Right. So that's why it was like an explosive firework thing for me. But when you're doing things on the daily over and over again, it's not that they lose their luster or you just kind of fall into the pattern and you forget how significant it really is. Even though I know it's special, we've talked about it, it's magical, it's an experience. It's all these things that happen in that space. But to see it on a bigger scale than what you do on a daily, it's mind blowing. It gave me momentum. It gave me everything that I needed to say yes more.

Oh, that makes me so happy. Because I know that that was scary to say yes. And I do know, I know the yes you gave me was the same yes I gave you this morning when you asked me to ride the podium.

You're a goddess.

No. How you're like, oh my God, this is so scary. I was like, gotta be shitting me right now. And I'll tell you why it's scary. It wasn't scary for me to ride. I have complete trust in my abilities to ride the bike. And I don't care if I. If I'm on the right foot or not. I was afraid of having a panic attack and passing out. Because once in a while, soul cycle can flare up my anxiety. Once in a while. I don't know why. I don't know if I'll ever figure it out. But it's not even a thought. I'm thinking, besides, I'm feeling like I'm gonna pass out. And then I think of passing out and it makes me sick to think that I could disrupt the class. Cause I never wanna take attention away or put attention on me. That's unnecessary. Like, like not healthy attention or it takes away from someone's experience.

Right.

There's gotta be some deep stuff I could dig into right there.

But 100% I was like, do you want to talk about it?

You're like, actually, I'm starting a podcast right now. Welcome, welcome to the show. We're now flipping this to two podcasts. But really it was like, oh my God. I had never said yes to a full ride. Like a two minute ride.

Sure.

Great. I'll get up There. It still made me nervous. But today I was. I was like, you were meant to ask me because you're the only person I would trust enough to ride with. That's why I was like, are you going to be up here for a little while? Just tell me you're going to be up here for a little while. And you're like, I'm going to be right by you. And then when the music started, it took me five minutes to come down. I was like, I cannot breathe right now. I cannot breathe. And I was legitimately freaking out. Like, tears in my eyes, freaking out.

I saw you.

Oh, my God. And I was just like. Like, how did she know to ask me this? Like, it was insane. So anyway, really random. But you did for me. I just was. I couldn't stop thinking how beautifully amazing the universe was. And when you asked me, I was like, oh, my God. God has put this woman in my life. Not only for me to invite her in and potentially let her see a vision of something different, but she in my life every Tuesday and Thursday to bring in visions of, like, such amazing things that I honestly. I get so much work done in those rooms, you have no idea.

It's great.

Just ideas. And you hold that space for me. And then you just elevated it. Today I was like, you took me on a breakthrough for sure today.

I love that.

Massive, massive break. Can I tell you what happened after?

Yeah, absolutely.

A girl came up to me right after. This is always what it's about. Like, you legitimately did this not only for me, but for her. And she was like, I just had to come up and tell you, like, I'm so grateful that you rode and you did so great. And I know you were nervous, and I was like. And I was still in that moment of, like, no, girl. I was. I had a real panic attack up there. I was like. It was real, like, where I thought I was gonna fall off the bike. And she goes, you did. She goes, you know that I quit riding front row because I was having panic attacks, and I went on medication, and I was like, I used to be on medication. And I kept on. I'm like, I work with anxiety through this way and this way. And I'm like, you just have to keep showing up for it and know that you can ride the wave. She starts bawling because she thought she was alone in that experience in there. And I'm like, I stay in the front row. And I said, you know what? I give myself permission to stop. My legs sometimes. I give myself Permission to sit. I give myself permission to put down weights because it'll happen a lot during the day.

That's usually where all the things come to head is at that point.

Totally.

It's when the lights come on and you sit up tall.

Yeah. Oh, my God. It's insane.

That's.

That's it for me. So anyway, she was, like, bawling, and she was like, thank you so much for sharing that. And I was like, thank you, Gina, for just bringing all the shit up.

I'm so grateful that you were there for her, because I would have never known. No one's ever told me that.

Well, no one ever tells us any. No one ever tells us anything.

Right.

You have no idea what you're doing in that room every day. If you could stop and ask every single person, it would be insanity. What? You What? What happens? Like, I planned all of Bliss Project. I saw my opening number to Bliss Project in your class. Like, really? Oh, yeah. All of my stuff.

Because that was a great opening.

All of my stuff. And. And Hila starts singing. That's when I started seeing it is. Because her voice starts. And then I saw you, and then I. Yeah. So all my visions come from Bliss.

And the sparkly pants. Yeah, they was. They're amazing. They're amazing. Yeah, they were really great with. Did that seed get planted there? Sparkly pants, I'm sure.

No, for real. Like, when I tell you, you can ask Chris. Every time I get her, I'm like, here's what I'm doing at Bliss. Like, when I thought of you speaking there, and I went up to you and I'm like, will you speak there? Like, no, I just saw a vision. I see visions in there, and I follow them. It's like how you say I should say this? That's what I follow. And that's why, you know, this is what I want you guys to hear on this podcast is the obedience to just like, what is that? Curiosity. What is it? And say yes, because it's either going to be challenging and it's for you, or it's going to be awesome and it's for you. Or it's going to be both. Because most things that are really good are both.

You're going to find your passion that way. You're going to get curious. Things are going to spark interest, and you'll peek around and see, you'll try. And all of a sudden, I'm passionate about this. And all the time, you're like, I don't know what I'm passionate about. Everyone's got all these passions. I'm just doing me and I love.

So I think you are so relatable, and I think that's one of the most beautiful things that you can possibly be for people, because they can meet you wherever they are, no matter what part of that journey that you're on. I'm just, just so beyond grateful for you. And I will tell you that you sharing your journey is the magic and that you're doing it every day, and that's just going to keep unrolling and expanding for you, as I trust it will for anyone on that journey. Is there any last thing that you want to share with people? That's coming up.

I am just grateful. I'm grateful for this space. I'm grateful that I have a platform in any form, whether it's big like the Bliss Project or at Soul Cycle or just even one on one to, like, help people. And I'm so grateful that you came into my life. And I know a lot of people listening are grateful that you came into their life 100%. Thank you so much.

Oh, my God. Thank you. Like, legitimately, this is. This could be a very long podcast.

I think it might be.

It is long. I was like, does she have a heart out? If not, I just went. Ran way over that. But anyway, I just have to tell you truly, like, from the bottom of my heart, I. I'm like, every Tuesday, Thursday, I cannot wait because I just know that it will be a space for me to think or feel better or work through something or whatever comes up for me. And I'm just, like, beyond grateful. But I always end on one last question. Oh, it's easy.

It's fine.

Just go with whatever your gut says first. For real.

Okay.

And it's always different with everyone. And it's always perfect. You are on an elevator or you're in passing with someone and it's only 30 seconds. Like, it's a total stranger. And they come up to you and they ask you, how can I make myself happy? What do you say?

Complete stranger?

Complete stranger.

I would say take time to get to know yourself. Take time to trust how you feel. Because that's what happiness is. It's a feeling. So when you put yourself in different situations, you're gonna feel a certain vibration. You're gonna feel it physically in your body. That physical feeling in your body is an indication. It's a. It's like, it's. It's basically like a roadmap to happiness.

Trust yourself and trust those feelings and that's so beautiful.

Trust those feelings.

Thank you so much, Gina. I'm so grateful for you and you guys. If you loved this podcast as much as I did, make sure you share it with your friends right now. Like literally right now. Go and text them if you know that they need this. And until next time, earn your happy. Bye everyone. Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment. Tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again guys.

Bye Bye Sam.