387: Get the support you need NOW!

So you got to see the vision and that's what's going to pull you through. So you have to remember, if you want support on your vision, you got to support yourself first. Welcome to the earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves, get ready to earn, own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go.

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Welcome back to the earn your happy podcast. And it's time for another quickie because there's always time to fit in inspiration and I have been number one. Thank you so much for being here. And I have to tell you, last week when I talked all about the emotional roller coaster of life, I cannot believe how many of you are in the same lifeboat with me right now. Like, it's not even a lifeboat. We're on a freaking cruise ship that is like overtaking the ocean. So if any of you are like, oh my God, I'm resonating so much with that, apparently majority of my listeners are resonating. So I just want to remind you that we are so not alone. And I have to tell you that feeling not alone was one of the biggest things that is really helping me move through all of these feelings. And I just put out a post while I was on a podcast, right before this getting interviewed, I put out a post on Instagram just asking you guys, what do you want to hear from me about? Like, what topics do you want to know? And I had a lot of questions pour in and I was like, oh man, how do I answer all of these questions? I want to answer all of them. And what ended up coming through for me was, you know, this was a gift. So thank you guys for all of your questions because what came through for me is this idea of support because a lot of the answers were learning to support yourself. A lot of you don't feel like you are supported. A lot of you don't know what to do, which also translates into not feeling supported in your life. And I can tell you that looking back through everything that I've ever achieved, done, asked, started, whatever that looks like I've had to learn how to support myself. So in your life, if you want more support, if you want to feel like your life is more supportive of your dreams, of your decisions, of your goals, who you are, of working through something, it's never going to come from someone else. First, you have to learn how to give yourself the support that you need. And a lot of this is going to start with our self talk. So more supportive self talk. But you have to say, how can I support myself if I want more support, how can I support myself? Because I got to tell you guys, I was just, like I said, on a podcast right before this, and it was Chris and I getting interviewed, and it just made me reflect back to the beginning that he was not supportive of my dreams. He was not enrolled, he was not interested in them. He thought that they were either going to waste our money, they were a distraction, or they were a fun hobby. And I can't blame him. He couldn't see my vision. So, you know, that's going to be a lot of our friends and family. They don't get to see your vision. I was just sharing on Jordan Dooley's podcast that a vision is like. And I've talked talked about this before, but a vision is like when we go to Ikea, it's like, you got to go on the shopping trip on your own in Ikea and see everything pieced together. And you were the one who got to see these amazing. This, you know, furniture and these kitchens put together. And it's like when everybody else sees it, all they see is all the boxes piled up at your door and these pieces and these screws in this junk pile where you're like, I don't even want to deal with that headache. So you got to see the vision, and that's what's going to pull you through. So you have to remember, if you want support on your vision, you got to support yourself first. And what do I mean by that? What do you need to start feeling like you can take the first step of action? And sometimes that looks like just clearing space. Sometimes that means boundaries. Sometimes that means attending someone's event who is doing the thing that you want to do. Sometimes that means, you know, getting a coach or listening to podcasts that are free. Like, what does support look like to you? And if you don't know what that is, then you can't even answer this yet. Then you have work on writing down how can you support yourself in these first steps of action if you're like, well, I'm just even too tired. I don't even have time. My family life is too overwhelming. Okay, well, how could you support yourself around that? Could you go to bed a little earlier? Could you ask your husband or partner to, you know, maybe watch the kids or do something for you? Do you have any help that you could recruit someone, even one or two days a week? Like, you are going to have to get gritty. And if you're like, I can't do that. I really, really, really want to see what it feels like when you replace I can't with I won't. I'm not willing to do that. I'm not willing to have that tough conversation. I'm not willing to ask somebody to do something for me. I'm not willing to do something uncomfortable. I'm not willing to exhaust every possibility until you have exhausted all possibilities where if you go to somebody and they say, if you go to someone who's been in these shoes before or, you know, made something happen out of nowhere, until they can ask you every single question, you can say, yes, I've done that, and then you have not exhausted all possibilities, and then I'm going to challenge you to even try this. Like, yes, I've done that. Okay, but how many times have you done it? Because when I was building my tribe, I did not reach out to 2 people or 5 people or 10 people and ask them to go for a workout with me and to, you know, chat and see what we had in common and if we could support each other. I asked over 50, which turned into over a hundred, which is probably now thousands of people that I've asked different things to or connected with, or at least, you know, maybe 500 people at this point. Just so many questions. And, you know, I did a podcast recently with David Meltzer, and he said that he sends out three emails every day just asking people or contacts that he already has if there's any way that they can help with X, Y, and Z, or connect them to someone who could guess how many of his dreams have come true. All of them. And he said this all has happened by way of asking. So he holds himself to the standard of sending three texts or emails asking people he already knows or who are in his circle or people he just met if there's anyone who could help him with this or if they know anyone who he could be connected to that could potentially help with this problem he's trying to solve. Until you do that, you're not going to get an answer until you Start stepping up and being bold. And after you send that email and your stomach drops and you feel sick and they're not responding or you get a crappy response back, like that's the journ, what every single day for me looks like. Send an email, like, take a big like breath because I'm about to sit with anxiety for the day. Like, oh my God, was this person gonna think of me? This was so bold. They're gonna think I'm X, Y and Z. Are they gonna think I'm taking or asking? Like if you word it the right way, you don't even have to worry about it because people want to help and if they don't, fine, don't let them. Like they don't have to answer. And if I don't hear an answer for two weeks or a week, I'm gonna send a follow up email and say, hey, just let me know if I'm bothering you or if you don. Just so I can stop asking, right? Or just so I can stop sending emails. Because I'm really, really determined. I know this is going to help a lot of people if I can figure this out or I, I would really, this would really mean a lot or this is the impact that I'm hoping to make. Like enroll them in the vision. So where do you need to support yourself more? Like, are you trying to get super healthy or run a marathon? And maybe all of the different, you know, snacks that you're eating every single night are keeping you from getting up and doing your run because you feel groggy or you don't or you have a stomachache or whatever that looks like. How can you support yourself? Can you get rid of that stuff? Can you tell somebody what your goal is and say, hey, if you see me doing this, can you help me out or how can you stop me here? Or can you invite me on a walk? Or do you wanna go on a walk every night? Like 7pm Is the time when I wanna start snacking. Maybe I'm gonna book yoga for myself and be around people who also have these different goals. Like, how can you support yourself if you don't know? Please sit and ask yourself these questions. The thing about super amazing, happy, successful people is they're really self aware. So if you can't answer any of these questions, it means you're not giving yourself the time and the space to get to know yourself so that you can answer these questions and support yourself in the way that you need to move forward. So you guys, I am sending you so much freaking love because all I want to see is you succeed and become the person that you know you are meant to be. It is real. If you can see that vision, it is for you. And if it's not the exact vision, it's the vision that's meant to jumpstart you onto the vision that's going to be even better than the one that you can see. And I know this to my core. It is vibrating in my soul. It is the message like that literally is written in the stars for you. You are made of magic. You are made of all of the same things that God created. The earth and the sea and the the oxygen and all of the things that you marvel at. You are marvelous and you can't forget it.

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So thank you guys so much for tuning in to another podcast and I just love, love, love knowing that we are all the damn same and we're all so awesome and we're all so crazy and we all need to support ourselves so that we can then build this vision that will support each other. So you guys, I've got a big audacious vision brewing right now. I know that you've been hearing about it on the podcast and I am in full time faith. Every single time I get scared, I'm like, you have to have faith because you can't have faith right half. You have to have faith. Faith cannot be halved. So you guys, until next time, earn your happy. Bye everyone. Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely, absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review. If you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment, tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again, guys. Guys, Bye. Bye.