389: Questionably Awesome - Your burning questions answered

You want to always try to make sure to share one common interest, like how you're like, I need to switch up the energy. Adam, can we go to boxing class together? Like, what's a compromise where we will be changing up the energy that we could do together like that? Absolutely. Those are all how your partner can grow with you. Welcome to the earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur, entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn, own, and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? We go. Whoop, there she is.

There she is.

Guys, be careful today. Put on an extra seat belt. Yeah. Put on a helmet, put on a rain jacket, because we're going to be hailing you like a hail storm with impaling, impaling you like a hail. Because it is Saturday, friends. And we are pretty hopped up. I mean, I've had. I was up at like 6:20 this morning.

Me too. I think we got up at the same time.

Oh, my God. We were like, it's a Saturday. I was so excited. We have a podcast to record, so we're recording this again. We just met on Thursday, which has given us more strength. I kind of feel like you're the son and I'm Superman, or I'm your son and you're Superman. Like, technically, there's a son for both of us, and we're both super women, and we're getting real close to it, and we're super jacked up right now.

So jacked.

And this coffee is nuts. It's jacking even more.

It's so good.

All right, so it's Saturday, and we're doing this because I'm going to Monaco on Monday, which I know who gets to say that. I'm like, oh, I'm going to Monaco.

I think it's amazing. Are you so excited?

I am so excited now. So I think that as your life gets busier, and I think that you totally understand this. You. Because people have been asking me, are you excited to go to Europe? Like, this was two weeks ago. I'm like, I'm not even on next week yet. So now I'm officially excited because I need to start thinking of outfits and stuff.

Oh, yeah. And all the cool stuff you're gonna wear. And your camera.

My new camera. I got a new Leica camera. If you've never heard of it. I hadn't either. It looks so cool. L, E, I, C, A. And it's like, I feel like I own a little piece of history. And there's a Leica gallery in Beverly Hills, and it's like, the coolest thing ever. It's like the coolest thing ever.

Like, the coolest. Yeah.

I wish I could go more in depth, but I'm just learning about it. So you're going to boxing after this?

Yeah, boxing class.

And you already tell me about it.

Well, we decided Adam and I are trying to spice things up.

You know, I like that.

We're like, hey, because after that Goop podcast, I'm talking about energy. We need to move it.

As of last Thursday, you were talking about. Or this Thursday, right? Yeah, exactly.

And our conversation. And so I went on Box Union and signed us up.

Oh, my God. You are going to. You are going to smack some energy around.

Really? I mean, I feel like it'll be good to change a pace.

It's going to be. Yeah, I already know that.

It's going to be hard.

It's going to be hard. I heard it's amazing, though. So have you heard what it's like?

No.

It's kind of like. I guess they kind of do it, like soul Cycle, where you kind of, like, box to the beat.

Oh, that's cool.

Oh, my God. So technically, you're going to be like, I'm beatboxing.

Beatbox.

Like, yo, yo, I know how to beatbox. And they'll be like, oh, awesome. Because it's open mic night, and you'll be at a really swanky bar, and you'll be like, no, no, no, no, no. I know how to box to the beat. Yeah. And they'll be like, well, clarification would be good since we booked you for the open mic.

I told someone at work that I.

Was going, and they were like, oh.

Did it, like, put you in the ring right away? And I was like, wait, wait, wait, wait.

What ring? You know what they do do that at? Oh, oh, what's the other one?

I don't know.

It's good.

Does Hillary Swank go there?

She might. It's fun. It's another one here, but it's. It's real boxers. Like, in the ring, they look Irish. Oh, My God. Yeah.

And they hold those things and they're.

Like, you have to hit them get in the ring. And you're like, oh, God, this is real. And the gloves are so, so sweaty and dirty. And I'm like, oh, wow.

Just thinking of boxing with an Irish old man who would be a good.

Oh, they're not old. They're good. Looking young. They're good. They look like Ewan McGregor in his heydays. Oh, no. And they are so fit. And they've been boxing all day, so they're a little stinky. And you're like, what this is for? And it is real. And they call out these different calls and I don't know any of them. And I'm super slow and there's a 12 year old girl next to me just like. And I'm like, bink.

I'm dying right now. I think I'm dying.

So it's a pretty horrible experience all in all. But I enjoyed it because I was way out of my comfort zone. So good thing I didn't mention the name. But if I think of it, I'll talk about it in a better way on the next one.

So what are you doing today, Lori?

I'm not boxing. Yeah, I am going to Soul Cycle. One of my favorite soul cycles, though, because I know, I know I go every single week. But this one is a soul survivor. So it's an hour and it's with an instructor that I absolutely love as well. Her name is Madeline and she is like, basically, I feel like I'm in a movie when I'm in the room because she makes her music super cinematic.

Oh, wow.

And like, it's just. And she's so funny and like, brilliant. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, I don't know how women don't celebrate other women because it's a flip. Like, I know it's a flip of a switch. And it's a bit like if you've had bad experiences with women, that can be tough. But if we really start looking at why they're awesome and why they give you permission to also be awesome, like, it's so exciting. Anyway, I celebrate her today, I think.

Shout out to Madeline. That's amazing.

Shout out to Madeline. She freaking rocks my world.

Yeah.

Yeah. Which is so cool. Cause Gina, who is my other Soul Cycle instructor, who is freaking awesome. Her podcast comes out on Monday. Do you know what it's called? Wait, this will be the podcast that came out on Monday.

Oh, yeah. So I guess. Did you listen to it, people?

Yeah. Did you enjoy it? Yeah, I got really original with the title, and I called it transform your soul. Love it or soul transformation. I don't know.

I can't wait to listen.

Yeah, it's gonna be so good. She was really, really amazing on it. Okay. Anyway, do you have a quote boxing queen?

Yes, I do. And it's called Taking joy and Live in Living is a woman's best cosmetic by Rosalind Russell.

Taking joy in living is a woman's best cosmetic. That couldn't be more true. Because have you ever. Have you ever, like, seen a beautiful woman who maybe isn't so nice, and all of a sudden you are like, where did all that beauty go?

Yes.

And then you meet a woman who maybe you didn't really look twice at that all of a sudden becomes the most beautiful woman in the world. I would come home from places and tell Chris, I'm like, I met. I mean, this girl is gorgeous. Like, she's. She's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my life. And he'll like, I'll show a picture, and he's like, well, I don't know if, like, the most beautiful. I'm like, no. When you meet her and it's just the truth.

Yeah.

Like, your soul and who you are and how you show up in what energy, you literally transform into Mother Earth.

That. Wow.

I don't know.

You transform into Mother Earth.

You look like Mother Earth. Would that be a compliment? Or should I come up with something better? Like, oh, I think Mother Earth is a huge mother's sunshine.

Mother Earth is white.

Okay. All right, I'll. If I call you Mother Earth, you know what that means?

No.

It's a good day, Mother Earth. Okay. All right, here's my quote before I kill that one. All right. This is by Andre Guide GED Jide. Either one. Either way, you pick whatever you feel like today, it is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.

Ain't that the truth?

Ain't it? Oh, it is. Because it's like, here's the thing. I feel like the more and more we become ourselves, the more we get to love ourselves. Yes. But the more other people who we've attracted by being inauthentic are going to leave in a huff. They leave in a huff. They don't leave nicely. They're not like, oh, that was. That was a stupid post. And they're like, oh, I. I love your boundaries. They're like, I love your boundaries.

Oh, thanks for these boundaries.

I literally just. I Need to make T shirts that say, like, I love your boundaries. Wouldn't that be good?

I really like that. Will you make one?

Oh, I love your boundaries. That could be a good by Mother Earth. She does. She loves boundaries.

She loves boundaries.

She's like, I love fences. They keep my cows safe.

Yeah.

I don't know. They keep the wolves out. You know, boundaries keep the wolves out.

Which is what we need. We don't need to be with wolves all the time.

No. And there are lots of wolves on Instagram.

There are some wolves. And I just wish people would cut that out.

You know what? I cut them out good. I'm like, cut it out. Remember the half from Full House? Yes, Cut it out. Oh, with this finger sign. So we're doing a scissor sign right now. Do you remember what the it was?

I don't remember. Was it the point?

I think it's like a honking maybe. Oh, no, I'm making that up. Cut. Honk out. Like thumb behind. Don't do that in a box.

With both hands.

Yeah, with both hands. Do you remember Girls Just Want to have Fun? Was that the song with Sarah Jesse Parker? Yes, vaguely. I don't know why. That just reminded me of the part with Tune in Tokyo. And when you're a 10 year old, like, you think that's the funniest part. If you don't know what I'm talking about, watch the movie. You'll enjoy it.

I need to rewatch this.

He was like. He was at a party with all these girls and he's like, I love to play Tune in Tokyo. And they're like, what's that? And he proceeded to use. Yeah, his fingers to dial in a radio station on their boobs. Not actually on it, but it was. Yeah. So that's the 80s. That's called. Not really gonna be shown in a movie now.

I was watching Sixteen Candles on Netflix. It's so inappropriate compared to now.

Oh, no, we are. We are getting so. Yeah, we are. We're going in a different direct. The 80s is what I'm saying.

Yeah, but it's funny.

It's super funny. But I'm an 80s baby, so you have to just take it with a grain of salt and be like, it's really crazy to be in a lifetime where things are progressing so quickly that I'm like, I can't believe I can look back to when I was a teenager and be like, how did that even go? I feel like if you were born in the 50s, like, you don't get to say that until you were like 80 years old, like, see so much. Okay, that's a lie. That's a total lie. Because they had television that brought in still so much information.

But the way I was actually thinking the same thought this morning when I saw this cute dad with his daughter taking her out to breakfast. And I just. When you see so many dads in California and I love, I just love. I love it.

Oh my God. Yeah, totally. Like, I see so many dads taking their kids where in the Midwest. I didn't. I hardly ever saw that actually. And I do think things obviously come in from the coast and I do know that that progressively is changing in the middle of the country as well. But I can't believe how prevalen it is out here.

And all kinds of dads.

Every dad, every dad. And dad spelled backwards is dad as well. Just like mom. Just like mom spelled upside down as wow. So mom wow. Like shamwow. Yeah, she. We can clean things up just like that. All right. I don't know what dads can do because dad upside down is still dad.

Yeah, man. Bummer for them.

Bummer for dads. Sorry, dads. We'll find something cool about you on the next podcast.

Yeah.

2026 is the year that you launch your business. It's the year that you've become the boss. You become the leader. That idea that you have that has been eating at you forever that just will not leave you alone is going to come to life. Maybe it's something that someone tells you you should always sell or a store you've already designed in your head. And with Shopify, 2026 is when you finally make it happen. Shopify gives you everything you need to sell online and in person. Millions of entrepreneurs have already made from household name to first time business owners. Just getting started, you guys. I use Shopify for glossy and I remember when they sent me my little shopping bag celebrating my 10,000 sales and I literally cried because I was so scared to take the leap. And I'm so glad that I did and that I use Shopify. It gives you all the tools to easily build your dream store. You can choose from hundreds of beautiful templates that you can customize to match your brand setup is fast with Shopify's built in AI tools that write product descriptions and headlines and help you edit photos. So marketing is built into. You can create email and social campaigns that reach customers wherever they scroll. So as you grow, Shopify grows with you. You can handle more orders, expand to new markets, and do it all from the Same dashboard in 2026. Stop waiting and start selling with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com happy go to shopify.com happy that shopify.com happy hear your first cha ching this new year with Shopify by your side. There are so many challenges to business that I don't want starting to be one of them for you and when you want more. When you're starting a business, you need Northwest Registered Agent because you get access to thousands of free guides, tools and legal forms to help you launch and protect your business and it's all in one place. You can build your complete business identity with Northwest today. Northwest Registered Agent has been helping small business owners and entrepreneurs launch and grow business for nearly 30 years. They're the largest registered agent and LLC service in the US with over 1500 corporate guides. Real people who know your local laws and can help you and your business every step of the way. You can sign up for free account to begin managing your business hub with lawyer drafted operating agreements, bylaws, resolutions, membership certificates, bills of sale and more at no cost. Northwest makes life easy for business owners. They don't just help you form your business, they give you the free tools you need after you form it, like operating agreements, meeting minutes and thousands of how to guides that explain the complicated ins and outs of running a business. And let me tell you, this is life changing because I had no idea how much went into this. So don't wait. Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business Identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes. Visit www.northwestregisteredagent.com Earn free and start building something amazing. Get more with Northwest registered agent at www.northwestregisteredagent.com forward/earnfree do you have a review?

Oh I do. It's really nice.

I can't wait.

It's really good.

I love the nice ones.

They're so nice. This is from ladybug9872.

How cute is that?

I love that name.

They say.

The first episode I listened to I was hearing what sounded like crazy banter between Lori and her sidekick Evans. I wasn't sure this was for me, but I was now having fun because they were having so much fun. For some reason I kept listening. It's been five months now and I've gotten something out of each episode. I'm a few years older than Lori and can totally relate to all of her music, tv, movie references from yesteryears. I Shared three takeaways from the show with Sherry Salata on my ig, and I've never shared a show there before. Then I heard the episode called turn your hard times into greatness, and Lori shared her anxious rant that runs in her head that keeps her from being present in every aspect of her life. I realize I love this podcast so much because I can relate. So many of us can. I'm not the only one saying the same rant to myself. Lori will give you tips on all aspects of earning your happy because she's gone through this and is completely relatable. Listen up.

I love her Ladybug. She is a writer. Ladybug. If you don't write something more often, I really suggest that you should. I agree. If that felt like a soul deliverance to you, then I think that you should go in the direction of ladybug writings.

Yeah. Little ladybug books.

Little ladybug books. Little ladybug books. Where she just sprinkles, like, loving thoughts and funny things everywhere, and everyone feels heard. We got a business.

Oh, so nice.

Ladybug's got a business. That was so nice. And so I. I'm a little bit. I'm a little obsessed with. I heard the rant in the beginning. Yeah. And I wasn't sure because. Because I've also heard from some people. They're like, that was just too much for me. Yeah. And I'm like, no, no, no. It's all good. It's all good. Remember, when we suggest that you don't tell us when you don't like it.

Right.

I just remind them of.

Yeah, we just want happy thoughts.

We're really clear. I, like. I'm really clear in the beginning. Like, this is either for you or. Or it is not.

It's not. And that's okay.

Yeah. Don't join in on this convo if it's not like. I will. I will like, direct you to the link where people are talking about protractors.

Yes. All right. I did not like protractors.

Me either. Who needs a half moon with.

I know.

How do you measure anything without a straight line? It's a half moon.

It was very confusing for me.

It's awful. Not gonna do it either.

We're not gonna do it.

That's not why I was put on the planet.

No.

Not even close.

Do you want to answer a question?

I would love that.

Okay.

This is really good.

This is from Lisa Lupo. Underscore. She asked, without knowing all the tricks, plus having an assistant. How do you Radically up level.

Oh, that's such a good question. Yeah. And Evans, I want you to definitely weigh on this one. I'll tell you, I did not come out of the womb with all of the tricks or an assistant. I know, that's so weird.

You didn't.

But there was no woman next to my mother who gave birth and said, and this is the assistant to that one.

There she is. That would be cool though.

That would be. Wouldn't that have been fun?

Yes.

Like, all of a sudden I'm. I'm like playing with my Barbies and they're like, did you need assistance with your Barbie's clothing?

Did you want to change her romper?

And I'm like, actually, yeah, because I'm gonna go get a Fruit Roll up, have her changed. When I come back, I'm gonna go get a Fruit Roll up.

That's living the dream.

It really is, isn't it? Yeah. And I'm like, put her in the Corvette when I get back to you. Make it snappy. Melanie.

Melanie, the assistant that comes with birth.

So little lady. So I didn't have a nice little lady. So with that said, I had to figure it out. Like, I. Okay, so when I started my fitness business.

When you started your fitness business, what happened?

When I started my fitness business, I did not have an assistant. It was disastrous. And I also had. So while I was training in person, this happened all at once. I was putting it all together. And if you guys don't know my story, I trained first. I trained at An LA Fitness after getting my certification, which I got the certification because Chris and I lost everything. Our house, our cars, all this stuff. I was working different retail jobs that did not pay the bills, and it was certainly not putting even a tiny dent in our $300,000 debt. So I was like, I have no education. What could I possibly get a certification in that I could make a little bit more money? So I got into personal training because I liked working out was all that I knew. And I started training at an LA Fitness that was only making $6 per 30 minute session. Still not making a dent, not even making rent. And so I would tell people. Like, I just started telling people my wild dream. I was like, I would love to have my own studio now. Even when I was saying it, I didn't believe it. I just kind of was a dreamer and I would say it to people.

Yeah.

So I said it to this one girl who I trained all the time, this one woman. She was. She was actually only a couple years older than me. And she had just opened her own chiropractic center when she was like, 27 or 28. And she's like, hey, I have a basement. Like, an unfinished basement downstairs. It has exposed wires. It's like. She's like, it is unfinished. It's, like, totally raw. You can see the insulation in the walls. But you can have it well, if you train me for free. And some of my clients. And you don't have to pay rent until, like, it was like, month two or three. So I was like, yes, I was doing that. The next week, I quit that job. I put all, like, put ads out everywhere. Was asking everyone for referrals. Started with just a few clients. From there, I started an online business as well. Because what I did is I was. I was like, all of these people want to be training more days than they are because they couldn't afford more than one or two days. So I said, here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to write workouts, and I'm going to give you your workouts for when you're not with me.

So.

And online, meaning I sent them with. Do you remember the flip cam?

Kind of.

It was this tiny, weird little camera that you could buy at Sam's club. And I would. I would flip cam my workouts and email them to them. So technically, I thought that was online.

Wow.

I didn't have, like, I don't think at this point I had a website or anything, so I was charging for that. And one of the girls who had purchased this particular online thing for, like, $50 a month.

Yeah.

Was like, wow, this is looks. She's like, can I. Can I be honest with you? Because she was. She did, like, graphics and she did editing and all of the things. This woman just happens to be Heidi Zito. She was like, can I help you with this? And I'm like, why? Because you don't know how to type. And also, this looks like crap. I was doing it just, like, on, like, pen and paper, like, email. Like, I was writing their workouts in email and sending it via email, and it looks terrible. I was just working with what I had, and people were buying it, and I can't believe it. Looking back, it was a shit show. Like, it was awful. So she's like, hey, could I help you with this? Like, in exchange for getting this for free?

Yeah.

And I was like, absolutely. So she put it in a nice document, and that was it. Like, that was the beginning. So you have to start asking, like, who is in your circle, how can you start proclaiming what you need? I literally did everything was a trade for me. And I would ask people, like, hey, do you know how to do this? Or, hey, like, I was getting websites for, you know, x amount of dollars, which, looking back, was like, they were not good, but they were a start. So how do you do it? You trade, and you start with something that looks like crap. I'm just gonna be honest. Everything I've ever started with is so not good.

Yeah, but it's out there.

Done is better than perfect. And you have to start there. And if you don't, you're never gonna start. So that's how you start up. Leveling is figuring out where you can go, who can you ask, how can you trade things? How can you get in different groups of friends? How can you invite yourself somewhere, Be that girl, be that person, be that annoying person. Go get around those people. Go do whatever it takes to shake up the energy.

I love that. Because here's what I got from your story.

You.

It wasn't like you went to some amazing retreat and were like, this is what I'll do with my life.

No.

You followed something that you're interested in. You then just hustled and worked with what you had. You didn't go have to buy a bunch of cool new materials or get an office or.

No.

And you. You made contacts. You talked to people. You connected with people. That's awesome.

And anyone can do that.

Yeah.

And here's the thing. When I talk to people and connected with them, they're like, oh, yeah, but you're outgoing. You're good at that. No, I wasn't. I was having panic attacks. I was having. I had one session where I got an anxiety attack so bad during it, I had to go up to the bathroom and, like, breathe and stop hyperventilating. I took, like, 10 minutes from that session. I lied to my client. I said I had a terrible stomachache, and I went up and proceeded to have a panic attack in the bathroom.

Lori. So that just shows everyone it's not what it looks like.

No, but you know what it taught me is that if you keep showing up, it does get better. And once in a while, that will come to me in different. If I'm in new experiences. But it scared me that day because I was like, I may not be able to do this. Like, what if I. What if I'm turning into. And I hate to say it, but I'm like, what if I'm turning into my mom? Where her panic attacks and anxiety really, like, are paralyzing. And I was like, that's a story. That's a story. Keep going. Keep showing up. If you keep showing up, like, this will start to dissipate. And it does.

Right? And I'm sure.

So how about you?

I think that I just thought of. There's this workout place in Charleston called the Works, and the girl's really cool, the woman who owns it. And her slogan in the workout room is, get in the room.

Oh, my God.

Don't you love that?

That's all it is.

Get in the room. Just get in there.

Oh, my God. That's all it is.

Right? Just show up.

Just, like, try.

Just wake up in the morning.

Oh, my God. Have you seen Hamilton?

Yes.

So it's that song. I want to be in the room where it happens. Because all you have to do is get in the room. Yeah. And it doesn't. You don't even have to be a part of the happening, but you actually are by being in its pres. And I think being an observer is one of the most powerful things you can possibly do. So when you are listening to a story, you're always relating it back to, like, how could this be for me?

Right.

Like, it doesn't matter. I could go into any room and learn something, even if it's a totally opposite room than my industry, because I can start observing. How could that apply to this or that or just get in the room. Yeah.

Too many people finish their workday feeling frustrated, drained, and unfulfilled. I know that. I have experienced that myself. And the good news is, it doesn't have to be this way, and you don't need a new job to fix it. Patrick Lencioni, author of the Five Dysfunctions of a Team and more than a dozen other bestsellers, created the working genius assessment to help you pinpoint the kind of work that gives you energy, the kind that lights you up, and it also shares the kind that drains it. So over a million people, including me, have taken it and completely changed how I lead and show up every day. If you're a CEO, an entrepreneur, or someone who just wants to level up in business and in life, working genius is going to give you the clarity and confidence to operate in your strengths and find greater joy in what you do. Because confidence isn't pretending to be good at everything. It's knowing where you're truly gifted. Take the working genius assessment today and get 20% off with code. Earn at working genius. That's working genius dot com. You'll be glad you did it.

Like, when I. I was really scared to apply for. When I worked for you and was really scared to send my application in. And it's just like, what's the worst that can happen?

What was the worst that could have happened?

They can say no. Yeah, okay. Well, at least you sent it. Like, yeah. Your chances for hiring automatically go up the second you fill out an application.

I just think that story is so crazy.

Me too.

If you guys don't know that story. Like, Chris and I. I don't even know how many. I think we had 400 applicants. So weird on that round. And we went through all of them, and we found. I think we interviewed, like, he did, like, speed rounds. I can't remember what he did. So he does the first interviewing process, and I think he narrowed it down to, like, 30 applicants or something. And then for interviewing, I feel like he did. I don't even know. These numbers are way off, because I'm really bad with numbers. He probably interviewed online, like 10 or 15, and then brought people in. We found two people we loved, hired one. She took a job the day. Like, the day before. What? I know. And she needed some other. She wanted some other things that we were not able to offer at the time. And so then we went. I think we went with the other one. And I think she took another job, too, or something like that. Or maybe I don't think she was a fit or something. No, that was it. We decided it wasn't a fit for some of the things that we wanted to move forward on. And so we were like, whatever. Like, we're just. We threw our hands up, and we're like, universe, God, take the wheel. Because this was a crazy process, and we need someone. Then all of a sudden, it was like, two weeks later, one application comes through because we had not advertised it. Everyone thought we were done.

Right?

Like, hiring. Yeah, one application came through. One.

So weird.

And we're like, all right, this looks good. Let's talk to her. And we were like, oh, my God, this person is amazing. Like, the energy's awesome. And we hired you.

That was crazy.

You were setting yourself apart, is all. You had a strategic plan. You're like, let them all go.

Yeah, let them all go. And then you apply and then apply.

That's not usually a good plan.

Yeah, don't do that.

Yeah, shouldn't wait. You shouldn't wait. But maybe send again. Yeah, but weren't you in church or something?

Yeah, I prayed about it.

Oh, my God. That's So crazy.

It's really weird.

And what did, like, you get struck by lightning?

I just. Just got this feeling of just do it and you can do it.

That's so amazing.

Why not?

Because we were like, literally, I was praying like, please just send somebody, because this is my life's work. Yeah. And I'm like, please, God, support me in, like, if this is what I'm supposed to be doing, please send someone who's gonna help me with this message. Because I am a lost lark without somebody.

And now here we are.

And here we are. And this is even better. This is really. So if you guys don't. If some. Some people are still, like, her assistant, Evans. I'm like, well, you know, she was my assistant for the most glorious year of my life. Was it a year, two years?

Yeah. Like a year and a half or.

Yeah, glorious. Freaking glorious. Cried when she said she was taking another job and cried my eyes out for a solid day, maybe more. And now we have someone who's freaking amazing in her own right. Like, yes, freaking awesome. And I have you in this modality, which is even better, in my opinion.

There's just a lot of cool things.

So you don't know what is coming. So this is what I want to say. When Evans told me she was leaving, it was the worst. And I was sad. I was confused. I was like, I will never have somebody who has this energy. And now, like, you don't know that things are actually happening for you. And it is meant to be better. Because I don't even know what is in our witch's brew pot that's coming up. Like, me neither. I just feel like it's. It's magic.

Do too. It could be the coffee. No, I feel like there's magic in there. I don't know.

So you're telling me every Thursday when you come over and I fly high for the rest of the day that it's just the coffee? No, because some Thursdays we don't have coffee.

Yeah, that's true. Some. Sometimes we don't.

No, often. So there's something there. Guys.

Trust. Trust. You have to trust and follow that little nudge.

Yeah. Because that had to been horrible for you to come and say you were leaving. And also awesome because you knew you needed something different.

Yeah. It was weird. And we're just figuring it out. I'm still figuring my life out.

I'm just thinking that that's probably going to happen till we die. So a full accepting might be our best option right now. Unless you're Unless you want your gravestone to say, hey, she was just figuring it out. She'll figure this out too.

Figure this out.

You know what, Evans? High five to the afterlife. Figure it out. Figure it out.

Yeah, it'll be fine.

That's not how you're going to go out. No, it's not. It will be like, she figured it out. I hope so. Yeah, it'll say she figured it out dot com. And then your whole story will be on the World Wide web. That's really cool. It won't even be a web anymore, though. It'll be like a cloud.

Virtual person.

Yeah, It'll. Someone. You'll be standing there and you'll be like, let, like your hologram will come up from the gravestone and you'll be like, hello, welcome to the story of me. I didn't have an accent before I died, but now I do. I recorded it in full accent because I think I sound smarter when I tell this story. It's like how every GPS is not an English, it's not an American. Like, hey, turn right up here on Park Street.

Turn right up here. Wait, do you need another question?

Yeah, because I feel like we need to add some more value.

We do, actually.

No, this is so valuable. People need to know. People need to plan out their death.

Wait, now I can't. Okay. Oh, wait. I really wanted to ask you this.

Yes, I really want to answer it.

Okay. It's from ndreaGreen94. How do you motivate your partner to start growing with you?

Oh, this is such a good. This question is the cue of every day of my life for everyone. So going back to when Chris was like, self development. You want to do network marketing? Like, he was literally just pooping on everything. Yes, he did. He was not. He came from a very, like, practical, you know, business background. And I think the thought of making money in a different way or bettering yourself, like bettering yourself came from, like, making more money or like growing in business or expanding yourself in that way.

Yeah.

And I think when I started doing self development because I needed it so bad, he didn't even understand what anxiety or panic was at all. So for him, how can he understand what's needed for that, you know? So when I first started doing self development and really working with my anxiety and also network marketing, he was not supportive. And I went through my whole phase of being really upset thinking, do I have the right partner? Shouldn't this person support me blaming him and not taking action? And then I had this moment of Like, I'm the one who gets to see the vision. Like, I could see the vision. Like, he doesn't get that because of it. You have to really look at why they don't understand it. Maybe they don't feel it. Like they need it yet.

Right.

And sometimes, or not sometimes, all the time. The only way to have your partner come along with you on anything is to start doing it and show them and talk about the benefits. But you can't force anything on them. And I found that even in the beginning, I would try to force it. Like, you need to come to this retreat with me and you're missing out and we're growing apart. Like, that is how you get your partner to be pushed away from you.

Yeah.

That is how you get your partner to like, totally block you out and shut down. So I would just say all of these different things. And I'm no dummy. Like, I would pick up on every single little thing at these self development conferences that, where they would say, I knew Chris's. You have to figure out your partner's motivations. Like somehow figure out your partner's motivations. And I knew Chris's was to have a bigger business and make more money. So I would always talk about how meditating, like these billionaires meditated and these millionaires meditated. And I would go find and research people that they love. Like, literally that, that Chris looked up to. And I would tell his habits and how they lived. And I was like, well, they go to these, they do this, they attribute this to that. Like, they, they work on themselves. And I would say stuff like that all the time and not have it be in your face. But, like, motivating, like, isn't that awesome? Or share just interesting things. Or sometimes I'd sit down and be like, hey, this means a lot to me. You don't have to come to all of them, but it would mean a lot if you just maybe come to one a year with me, whatever that is for that person. But they. This goes back to when Jay Shetty came to the Mastermind. I think we talked about this a little bit. Your partner does not ever grow at the same pace as you. And what's going to be even more shocking is when your partner is growing in something different than you at a totally, like, astronomical pace. And you're like, whoa, I never saw this one coming.

Yeah, yeah.

And that will happen, right? It's life. So you're always on a different path as long. But you have to always make sure that you share one. You want to always try to make sure to share one common interest. Like how you're like, I need to switch up the energy. Adam, can we go to boxing class together? Like, what's a compromise where we will be changing up the energy that we could do together? Like, that's absolutely. Those are all how your partner can grow with you.

I love that. And I. I can say from my experience that I wasn't kind of in a self development as much as Adam was when we first met. And I remember, I guess this was a while ago we went to. He was like, oh, I booked us an appointment with my. He had seen this counselor for a long time.

Yeah.

I thought we could go together.

Yeah.

And I immediately panicked and was like, why, Is something wrong? Yeah, it's like, no, it's. It's good to check in with each other and talk to someone who has a lot of experience and can give you good tools.

Oh, my God. You have to learn how to communicate. If. So, Chris, thankfully, his mom was. Basically went to school to be a psychologist, and she taught so much communication skills to him. And I had zilcho. So my way of communicating and working through problems was to leave.

Yeah.

Great idea. Right? Like, oh, we're fighting.

Bye.

I would leave.

Yeah.

I would go walk and sit on the neighbor's lawn, like, and pretend I was, like, in. I don't know, downtown somewhere.

Well, sometimes you just need a minute.

I know, but here's the thing. I knew when I left, I wanted him, like, how I wanted it to end. I wanted him to come after me and chase me. The man does not do that.

You gotta face.

I left so many times, and he never came after me ever.

Well, look y' all now.

Yeah. So that didn't work. And if he did come after me, I probably would have kept up with my shenanigans. But one day I was leaving another fight that I had started for attention.

Yeah.

In hopes that he would come chase me. I don't know. What a cycle.

I know, but we all do it.

Oh, my God.

Like that.

What was your. What's your cycle make me feel better? Oh, yeah.

I totally will pick fights at stupid times. I'm like, why? I know in my head, I'm like, you're doing this on purpose, like, for attention or what?

Oh, yeah.

Just stir in the pot for no reason. No reason other than just stir that pot. It's like, why do you do that? You don't need to do that.

There's. Oh, my God. There's different ways to shake up the energy. Do you know why energy wants to move, Evans? And if you don't go to a new class or learn something new or go try something new or go expand yourself, you're gonna keep stirring the pot.

Stirring that little pot, because the energy's like, move me. Move. And that's mean.

Yeah, that's mean. That's the mean way. See, there are many ways to change up the energy, unfortunately. And there's many. Here's the other thing. There's many ways to get attention. This is what we forget is, like, there are positive ways to stir up the energy and get attention, and there are negative ways. And no matter what, the energy will always need to be stirred, and you will always need. Need attention. I always pay attention to how I'm getting attention and how I'm changing up energy, because I used to get attention by, like, poor me. This is my story. I'm so sad. I'm not educated. I was homeschooled and from a restrictive religion. Do you feel bad for me?

Help me. I'm on this long.

Help me. And now I'm like, well, that didn't get the type of attention that I wanted because I just hung out with a bunch of negative Nellies at that point. And we all just sat around and I was like, this is not productive or exciting. We're all just bitching over wine.

Worst.

The worst. So anyway, I was like, oh, you can get positive attention. So whenever I see people, I'm always like, here's the thing. Like, you can be mad at someone on Instagram for getting attention in a certain way, but at least it's not a super negative thing. Yeah, we all just. We're all fulfilling a human need for attention.

Exactly. We just want to be heard. Yeah.

We just want to be loved, ultimately. Right. Like, every time I put a post out, it might as well just say, love me.

So true.

Yeah, that's it. Just for the rest of my life. It might as well just be like, love me. Do you love me now? Yeah.

How about this one?

How about now? Yeah, that pot.

Yeah.

I don't know, but I. I think we got to two questions today.

I think we did, too.

Anything flew by. Anything you want to add to the. The special pot?

I would challenge everyone because I need to hold myself accountable for doing new things. So I would like for everyone to try something new.

Oh, my God. Do you know what I would love?

What?

If they could tag both of us in something new that they're gonna do this week or that they're doing yes. Can you give them your handle on ig?

Yes.

Now, she's not gonna let you look at her page, but she will see it.

Yeah.

See it, right?

I'll see it.

Okay.

Maybe I'll start accepting. I don't know. I haven't.

We'll see. That'll be an interesting day.

Yeah.

Or maybe you just. Maybe we just start a page for us. We'll see. I don't know. What are we gonna call it? Oh, we'll call it the podcast.

Yeah.

How's that podcast? How is that the best name ever? Questionably awesome. I was thinking yesterday how questionably awesome is the best name ever.

I was thinking about that too, and how you were like, questionably awesome. And there it was.

There it was on the platter.

Yeah.

It was like, do you want a piece of this?

Yes.

Yes, we do. We're gonna split it 50. 50. Yeah. So we would love to. What's your handle? E cradle.

E C R A D D. At.

E C R A A D E crad. So tag E crad. And at.

Lori.

Harder. And we want to see what you're doing new this week. Don't just tell us.

Yeah. Even if it's like, I'm eating this new eggplant because I've never had eggplant before.

Tell me that. Yeah, Don't. Yeah, wait. Show me that. Don't just tell us. Show us.

Show us that plant.

I don't know. Show me the eggplant. And on that note, we're leaving it. And I think that's the quote for this week. Show me the eggplant. Have the best day ever. Bye.

Bye.

Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever, ever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought and honest comment. Tell us what you think. Tell us what you want to hear. More of it would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again, guys. Bye. Bye, Sam.