396: Your pain is powerful - use it

Stop acting like you're not powerful. Right? Every time you deny what you're capable of, it's literally like taking God's gift to you, putting it on the floor and treating it like a doormat and wiping your feet on it. Welcome to the earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn, own, and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go, Foreign. Welcome back to the podcast. And it's time for another quickie because there's always time to fit in inspiration. And this is just a reminder that the Bliss Project is coming up end of March 2020. Yes, that sounds like some futuristic show. So weird, right? In March 2020 when vehicles were flying everywhere. That's all I can picture. Like the Jetsons was supposed to be like, I don't know, I think we've already past the year that the Jetsons were. If you guys watched that cartoon, I don't know. Back to the Bliss Project. I would love to see you all there. You guys, it is one of the most amazing things that I've ever gotten to do and participate in in my life. And a couple of things that are just really standing out for me right now is I think that if you've never been there, you don't know that there's also opportunities for you not only to connect with other women, but also try on what it feels like to be the next level version of yourself, to be a leader. There's also opportun opportunities for you there to potentially have a talk on stage. So every single year I do two to three women who have been to the Bliss Project before. So you do have to have been to a Bliss Project, but you get something that's like a mini TED Talk and I call it a tribe talk. So this can be an amazing, beautiful way to get up and be able to stand in your message and share with the most loving audience that you've ever stood in front of and share your message and get some really rad pics in front of a really awesome stage. Just saying, but truly, it is like one of the coolest things that I've implemented into the Bliss Project. And you get anywhere from seven to 10 minutes to get up there and share your heart and do like a little mini TED Talk. And it has been going amazing. This will be the third year that I do it. I cannot wait for that. And also, it's your opportunity to meet some of the most epic women that you can possibly meet and be able to have them just in your life. This is really where women come to make friends for the rest of their life, find their business partners. Something else that's really cool is some women who have come to the Bliss Project and also started a tribe from my book and pretty much uploaded and showed me their entire journey of the book club and book. They are flying out here and they're going to be on the podcast. So they will be talking about their experience of going through the book via a tribe and also their experience at the Bliss Project. So you guys can look forward to that and hearing how that all has worked. So these are all things that you guys should really come to the event for, because it is life changing, it's game changing. And we already have 300 tickets sold from the last event. So if that tells you what people experience at the Bliss Project, we are over half sold out from the people who are already at last year. So we only have 200 tickets left. So if you want to get your butt in a seat to meet everyone and not miss it, you guys, even if you're scared, even if this freaks you out, then you really, really, really need to come. And moving into what today's podcast is about, this is a perfect segue because I'm chatting with you all about a quote that really rocked my world. I'm reading the Path Made Clear by Oprah Winfrey right now. It's a new book. And in there she has quotes from all of these different people. It's not really quotes. It's like their main kind of message that popped out during their interviews together. And this is from Father Richard Rohr. And he says, oprah's talking about how pain is basically the way that we expand and pain is the way that we learn. And he says, you know, all those tragedies, that's how the self expands. I'm sorry to say it's true, but it's true. It's all what you do with the suffering. If you don't transform your suffering, I always say with 100% certitude, you will transmit your suffering. To your family, your neighbors, and even to your community. Wow. Okay. I wanna chat about this because I have transferred my suffering to so many people that I love before I started doing the things that I knew I was put on the earth to do. And here's the thing. Before you know the things you're put on the earth to do, there's a place where you don't know what those things are. And it can be the most confusing, frustrating place. But it's equally frustrating and confusing is when you do know what they are, but you don't know anyone around you who's doing it. Or you don't know how to start, or you're still stuck in that place where you are blaming, complaining, or justifying your old story of why you cannot. So this is also the place where you are not transmuting that energy and turning it into something that's going to help people, but it's the place where you are not owning and accepting that pain as the thing that's going to propel you. So accepting the pain is the thing that's actually going to propel you and push you into your purpose. You are going to transfer it. So unless you're transmuting, taking that pain and letting it be the thing that pushes you into your purpose, you're going to transfer it to the people that you love. There is no in between. This is what we do. We transfer it to our co workers by complaining. We transfer it to our. Our partners, our loved ones, our children. We transfer it everywhere that we go. We transfer it in our communities by not lifting our heads up, by not smiling, by not acknowledging people. What we are putting out is what we are feeling. It's what. It's the world that we are living in. So you have to start taking action on whatever that thing is that you know that you are. That you know that you are meant to be. Here's the deal, you guys. Not all of us are meant to be leaders. Not all of us are meant to be speakers, podcasters. Not all of us are meant to run for president. Not all of us are meant to run a business. But a lot of us are. All of us are meant to be loving beings. You can create things and be a creator by simply starting to work in the art that you want. So if you're creative and you're not creating, AKA writing or painting or pottery or gardening or working on your house or working with kids to help them create, if you're a teacher and you're not teaching right, if you're an artist. And you're not doing art if you're a singer and you're not singing. Like, it doesn't have to be in front of people. This is so important that we are doing the things that we are here to do. Otherwise, we will take that pain of inaction in activity and of not creating and of not loving people and of not taking action on the thing we want to do, and we are transferring it.

That's.

That's it. Our job is to transmute pain. That's all. You don't have to do it right away. You can sit in it, you can talk to someone about it. You can let all of that energy up and out, and you can have somebody who's actively listening. But then you need to start seeing how you can transmute and transform instead of transferring, right? Transform that pain. And I transform my pain by way of action. I transform my pain by taking it and saying, how could I use this to actually better someone, right, who has been in this space before and how can I teach how they can get out of it? So you're gonna take all of that pain and you're gonna turn it into your purpose and see how you can transform it instead of transferring it. So whenever you feel like you're in a space of being pissed off when you wake up or feeling like you don't know what to do, you know what to do. This is the scariest place, you guys. Some of you are on a walk. Some of you are in your car right now. Some of you are at the gym. And there's a part of you that's still wanting to deny and wanting to shut this podcast off because you're annoyed with me. It's because you're on the edge, right? You're on the edge. You're like, I'm annoyed. She doesn't know my situation. She doesn't know that I have this person in the hospital or this person's terminally ill or this is going on. Take that pain and see how there's any way that you could pray on it, that you can ask for help, that you could ask somebody to come in and guide you, that you could maybe pay a coach, or you could do something in trade. Maybe you're a trainer, or maybe you could. You have kids at home, and maybe you could babysit someone for trade. If you know a businesswoman whose child needs some care. And you could say, hey, if I could watch your kid, too, could I also maybe get you for 30 minutes or an hour to ask you some business Questions. I know that you have a really successful business. Get creative. You can do this. You are so powerful. You have done so much in your life. You have dealt with so much much in your life. You have done so much in your life that you can absolutely take the first step of action to be a creator or to move forward or to give more love or to see how you could support yourself first, right?

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So if you need more support, you guys go back and listen to the podcast I did a few weeks ago on. If you need support, this is how you can support yourself. That's a really good one too. On that will kind of piggyback on this one. But I just want to say, I want you to remember, if you're not learning to transform your pain, you are transferring it. If you're not focusing on how to transform your pain by way of action on your dream or your purpose by way of taking those first steps. And I'm telling you, you'll stop transferring your pain to the people you love in your community the second that you start taking action on what it is that you want to do. And action can look like putting something in the calendar. Action can look like putting a date in the calendar with somebody who you just ask questions. Action can look like putting two hours in the calendar where you are doing active research on first steps. What would this look like where you're just googling for two hours? Somebody who's done this before? You guys, I did something crazy when I didn't know how to first start this company that I want to start and I googled how would I start an XYZ company? What are the first steps? And they all showed up. So I was blaming and complaining and telling my husband. I was like, I don't know where to start. And he's like, you need to stop. This is ridiculous. This is what you talk about all the time. Google it. And I was like, oh, that was like a firm slap and I thoroughly needed it. So this is what I'm going to be for you today. The person who says stop acting like you're not powerful. Stop acting like you're not powerful. Right? Every time you deny what you're capable of, it's literally like, like taking God's gift to you, putting it on the floor and treating it like a doormat and wiping your feet on it and making it so insignificant and being like, oh, this thing burning inside of me, this thought, this powerful physical body that I have, all of these things that I've done in my life. This means nothing. Wipe your feet on God's gift and don't pay any attention to it. You are so powerful. Stop treating this gift that you have inside of you like it's insignificant. Don't deny your creator. Don't deny these gifts. You are made of magic. You are made of the same thing that the sun is made of. You are literally made from your creator's energy. Whether you believe that's God or the universe or Mother Earth or the water or the trees, you're made of the same powerful thing that literally keeps the world spinning. So every time you deny that, you get more and more and more pain. Because pain is supposed to make you act. Act. It's not there to make you miserable. It's there to make you act and be your teacher. So you need to stop looking at it like, why me? And why this is happening, and look at it as, wow, this is expanding my soul. Thank you for coming into my life and making me move and get out of this really uncomfortable comfort zone. So you guys sending you so much love today. I'm so excited to hear what you start taking action on. Please tag me in your stories. Let me know what that first step is. Even if you're just like, like, step one, Google. Like, I want to see. I want to know your ideas. I want to know what you're moving forward on. Guitar lessons, art lessons, moving forward on helping another person, going and volunteering. Because that's going to make your heart expand and get you out of that uncomfortable zone of being in your own bubble. You guys, being in your own head is one of the worst places to be. When we are feeling separate and disconnected from our communities, that is when we are most miserable and most depressed. So go out there, connect, do anything to remember that you're a creative being, that you're connected to your community and that people care. But the only way that people can care is by you caring about other people. So sending you lots of love. Can't wait to see what you get from this. Please tag me. Let me know. Let me know your takeaways. I'd love to share them. And until next time, earn your happy. Bye everyone. Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the Earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment. Tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again guys. Bye Bye.