4 Reasons You Might Be Exhausted (and What to Do About It!)

I was a little bit fearful of starting a company because I wasn't sure if I would have the energy for it. This was a real life fear for me where I'm like, I don't know if I'm the type of person who is wired in the same way as some of these people. So in the back of my mind I was like, oh my God, this feels risky because I'm already so tired. How am I going to do this?

And we're back with another episode of.

He said, she said in Dinner Series.

Series is back.

Dinner series is back. You guys, we created something, something we wanted, something that was super fun, that would help propel your business, something that has accelerated us through everything that we have done.

And we took a great idea and we're adding a brand new feature called Great Ideas from Our Community. So if you're a dinner series member, you get to be one of four or five presenters each month to share a five to ten minute great idea on a live zoom call to the rest of our network. So there's going to be hundreds of people on this call because they just want to learn the great ideas. Life hacks, business hacks, right. It's free training, but you get to be one of the presenters if you're a dinner series member. And so it's just, I'm so excited because we'll be able to basically share like around 60 or so great ideas from 60 or so different dinner series members because not everybody wants to present a great idea to our community throughout the year. It's truly advanced networking. Well, this is a way that we're networking you to our whole community. So it's not just the three dinners. It's not just the three great, what do you call it, Daytimes with all the guests and all the intentional networking that takes the awkwardness out of it. But now we're actually sharing you with the whole damn network that we have. And we're even twice, maybe making some of them podcast episodes. We'll see. So anyhow, we're really excited about it. At the time of this recording, we're literally opening up two more tables tomorrow morning. Now, by the time you listen to it, I have no idea if there'll be a seat available or not. So it's kind of like an adventure. Hit pause and go to Chrisharder Me dinner. If you can check out, there's a seat. If you can't, there's not. But don't worry, we're trying to find a bigger venue for November. So at a Minimum, put yourself on the waiting list. So literally hit pause and go to chrisharter Medinner. Again, that's chrisharder Medinner. See if there's a seat, grab it if you can. If not, put yourself on the waiting list. All right, so we're super high energy lately, and we're also twice as busy as we've ever been lately. And those two things should not add up. And so we're talking about like, wait a minute, why do we feel so good? Why do we have so much energy? And why are we twice as busy as we've ever been? Those two things aren't supposed to be aligned. And we kind of drilled down like, oh, here's why. And the Lord's like, wait, no, this is why. And I'm like, no, this is why. We thought we'd share these things with you. Because if you're tired and if you're tired of being tired, some of these reasons might be the reason why.

So first of all, I want to let you guys know that I was a little bit fearful of starting a company because I wasn't sure if I would have the energy for it. This was a real life fear for me where I'm like, I don't know if I'm the type of person who is wired in the same way as some of these people. So in the back of my mind I was like, oh my God, this feels risky because I'm already so tired. How am I going to do this?

I feel the same way. So. And I call it fear of success. I was like, shit, if I start this and it works, I'm going to have no free time. If I start this and it works, I'm going to be exhausted. If I start this and it works or if it gets momentum, I'm going to be, you know, like this, this skeleton version of myself. And none of that has come to fruition. It's working. We got momentum, right? So our personal brands are a full time job, like the podcast, et cetera. And then on top of that, Lori's glossy is a full time job and me building Frollo is a full time job, plus satisfying friends, family, all the other things that come with that, right? Those are all full time jobs. And this whole fear of success, this fear of we're going to be tired, this fear of we're not going to have time, did not come true. If anything, we have more energy right now. So the first reason, I think we have four of them that we kind of drilled down the first one Is this. You're not tired because you're doing so much work. You're tired because you're doing work that is misaligned. You're, you're tired because you're doing work in a way that you don't want to do it. You're tired because you're not doing the kind of work that energizes you. And this can be a tough wake up call because you might hear this back. Well, Chris, I can't quit my job tomorrow. That's okay. If it takes a while to steer the ship, that's okay. But at least you know why and you can start yourself on a journey of doing something about it.

You know, I'm thinking back to even when, you know, light pink was so exciting in the beginning, and I felt so energized. And as things started to shift just with, you know, what our margins were doing and cost of everything and the world was changing, it was like you get these signs to different things if your business is misaligned or even if your actions in that business are misaligned. So another example of that is, you know, when you start a business, you're probably going to be more tired in the beginning because you are doing things that aren't necessarily in your zone of genius. And so I don't think that there is a way of avoiding that initial kind of exhaustion that can come. But I think it is our job to be like, what are the things that I do in the business that no one else can do, where my energy really flows? And even though, yeah, fricking tired at the end of the day, but during the day we are not exhausted, we're pretty excited. And even when there's hard stuff to do, it's like when it's on the mission of something that you're excited about or it is in your zone of genius, I think that it's a totally different feeling.

There's a difference between being tired at the end of the day where you did a bunch of good work, and being exhausted in life. And I want you to understand that difference. Being tired at the end of a day where you, you know, put in a lot of great work, that's normal. You have a tank that's full in the beginning and you use those resources. But being exhausted from being misaligned, being exhausted day in and day out, being exhausted in life, that's a different thing than being tired at the end of a good day.

I also think there's something to our perspective and attitude in which we do every single thing that is on our schedule for the day. So something that I've noticed is, number one feeling, this misalignment has actually got me more aligned with the things that I say yes to. So I'm only now on podcasts that I've decided if I'm going to put this in my calendar, I'm going to be fricking excited about it. Even if on the day of I'm like, oh, why did I do this? I'm like, no, I'm going to go back and if I'm with a human being, I'm going to be present, I'm going to be excited. I chose this, so I'm going to make it the best that I can. And even that little shift in my perspective of how I perceive the things that are on my calendar is like, if it made it in my calendar, then I'm going to show up and have a good attitude about it.

So energy is a choice. And Brendan talks about this all the time, right? He's like, we don't have energy. We generate energy. We are a energy generating power plant inside of us. And a lot of that generation of energy comes from that choice to generate energy. And that choice is easier when you're doing work or you're in a career or you're chasing down a goal that that is aligned. So that's the first one, the second one.

Second one is your habits. And whenever I notice a decline in just energy in general, especially if I'm like, well, I'm doing work that I love, I'm in a company that I love, what is going on. My habits are typically the things that have slipped, whether that is. Oop, I'm kind of having cocktails again during the week, and this is making me not fall into deep REM sleep. And it's really starting to affect just how I feel in the morning or I haven't gone to the gym and lifted weights. I skipped all last week. I really like to go minimum two times, if not three times per week. Even if it's just like 30 to 45 minutes. It's game changing for me. If I do not walk minimum once a day, I don't have the ability to cope with the stress that comes with our type of schedule. And I think nobody does. I think whether your type of schedule is even leisurely, which I don't think anybody listening to this podcast is, but it's like, you have to have a way to cope with the stresses of everyday life. And that's what walking does.

Well, I can prove this. I guess I don't want to single anyone out, but let's just say we have some older people in our life and their schedules definitely do not. They're not what you classify as busy, except a lot of times they're exhausted. Oh, I'm exhausted from my day. I'm exhausted lately. Why? Because I know that their habits aren't fueling them. I've got a real good personal example of this as well, by the way. Lately I'm on an airplane every week going to and from, to and from, meetings for furlough, investor meetings, team meetings, you name it, events, et cetera. So I've been going to New York and back and depending if I'm leaving from our California home or Arizona home, that's five or six hours, I've been going to Virginia where my whole team and our headquarters is for furlough. That's always a six hour journey whether I'm leaving from Arizona or leaving from California. And what I used to do is I'm like, okay, I'm in this airplane and I recline the seat. I've got six hours. I'm going to watch a couple of good movies, I'm going to have a handful of drinks, you know, I'd have maybe four, three, four drinks over the course of that six hours. I'm going to eat the snacks that they bring, the meal that they bring, all of that stuff. And I'd land tired and the next day I'd be tired and I'd blame it on the travel. But lately I've made a no cocktails on the plane rule for myself the past few trips. So even though I'm there for six hours, I choose to get my pleasure through a podcast, through a book, through sparkling water, through whatever else. And so now, even though I'm traveling coast to coast almost every single week, back and forth, I'm not tired when I land home to you, Lori. I'm not tired the next day. I don't need a recovery day. I don't need any of that stuff. My habits have changed. The habits on the airplane that I used to default to is, ah, this'll feel good. For the six hours have changed and therefore my energy has changed.

We'll even say little reminders to each other just like, oh, take care of yourself. Oh, watch your cocktails. Like, don't drink on the plane. Remember that you want to feel good tomorrow. Because we forget, we live in the moment and we forget that, oh, tomorrow, tomorrow's coming and tomorrow is Monday or tomorrow is Wednesday and I have a big meeting and I want to feel good or I want to love this company. I want to give it the best shape shot that it can possibly have. And I want to show up for my relationship. And it's like, you can't do that when you're living only in the present moment of just like, oh, I'm tired. Oh, I deserve this. And you know what? The biggest self love thing that you can do is self discipline.

Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Okay, so second reason your habits, third reason you're probably tired is you're on your devices too much. And boy, Lori calls me out on this and it's good. So let's say I'm recharging. Let's say I'm relaxing and I'm scrolling Instagram, looking at whatever, scrolling TikTok looking whatever. Or even just YouTube or whatever it might be by being on my device. I'm not actually recovering because my brain is still working and it's actually working faster than you think. Cause all these dopamine hits, all these different messages, all these different reconciliation of what does this mean? What does that mean? Why'd they post this? Why'd they post that? And I end up just as tired at the end of those few hours of relaxing as I started, I'm like, what happened? I just laid on the couch. I just had a Sunday, I just had a Saturday. Why aren't I relaxed? It's being on your damn devices. Because when we start saying, nope, let's just go plug it in over here. Nope, let's leave it back on the walk. Nope, let's leave it back for a half a day. It's amazing how much better we feel, how quickly.

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We scroll social media it is like one of the easiest ways and you guys all know this to feel judgmental and compare yourself because it truly is. It's not even a weird thing or an unconscious thing. They want you to Compare your life to every single thing that you see, like every post. Do I need this? Do I like this? Why don't I like this? Do I believe this? Why don't I believe this? And what happens at the end of that is not only did you judge everyone so you feel like shit, even if it's, you know, pretty neutral, what happens is you've compared yourself to every single person and because it's a highlight reel, you're probably not going to measure up. So at the end of it you're like, wait, I just scrolled all these things. And I feel like everyone is out there living life. It makes you feel like shit because ultimately it makes you feel like a loser while you just watched every single person living life and doing something big while you're just consuming their life.

Yet being on your device too much is like having all these open windows and you're a computer because you are, you are a computer and your computer uses energy. Notice you, all the windows open on your phone, all the windows open on your computer. What happens, it runs slower. It's the same thing. You have all these open windows, all these open loops, all these open energy, you know, draining sources, drains the battery. Absolutely. Shut them down, Shut them down. And then the fourth reason why you might be tired is you have nothing.

To look forward to.

Explain.

You have not planned something into your week that you're actually excited about. Now some of you are like, well, I have my nail appointment. I look forward to that. Okay, that's all right. I'm proud of you for getting your self care in or whatever that looks like. But do you schedule something new? That's huge. Something new for your life is going to not only make you feel like a less boring person, but you're going to be less boring to everybody else out there. So maybe go try to play some pickleball and go enjoy that. Maybe go try to learn something new. Maybe go to a museum and see what you can learn that's new. Just go out in nature, try surfing, try a hike. You're going to feel immediately better. Number one, anytime that you can be out in nature is like, it is the best thing that you can do for yourself for connecting to whatever you believe in, whether that's God or universe, or connecting with your partner, connecting with your family. Nature is one of the most beautiful ways to deal with anxiety and depression. And if you feel lonely or disconnected, like go grab some friends, go grab some family members and go walk in nature, do something, anything that you look, truly look forward to. Throughout the week.

Well, it's no wonder why we have so much more energy after we do our power nine in the morning than before. Like, guys, patience. You know, it's seven o', clock, we're taking the dogs. We're starting our hour long dog walk, and we're tired and we're groggy and one of us is like, all right, let's do the power nine. And we don't want to. I know it sounds dumb. List nine things. Three things you're excited about, three things you want to manifest, and three things you're grateful for. Should be pretty easy, except we're like, oh, I don't want to do it. That's always the energy beforehand. But then afterwards, five minutes later, full of energy. Why? Because of the three things we're excited about that we have to list and take acknowledgement of. Oh, yeah, I'm excited about this. Oh, yeah, I look forward to this. Oh, yeah, I look forward to that. Having something to look forward to and acknowledging it. Remembering that you have something to look forward to gives you energy. Not having something to look forward to keeps you drained, keeps you tired.

Well, you guys, I hope that you take some of these because these actually are just three things that you can break down and start doing in really, really small ways. And if anything you get from this podcast is just to be conscious. I hope that you looked at your life and said, all right, it's really cool to figure out that there's actually some spots that I can clean up. That's like what personal development and learning is about is just saying, take one of these places that you know you're kind of like not doing well in and just start to become conscious around it. Of, oh, I'm doing that thing again. Oh, I'm scrolling again. How could I put my phone down and just make myself go get in nature? How could I go schedule something so that it's in my calendar so I go play pickleball this weekend?

Yep, pickleballs changed my life.

I know.

You don't have to be tired, you don't have to be exhausted. There's ways to change it. Remember, you are an energy generating machine, not an energy receiving machine. All right, guys, love and appreciate you. Thanks for listening.