402: Either take action or keep torturing yourself

If I have a thriving place to plant my ideas, I don't have to worry as much. I can know that these ideas are going to thrive because I have created a solid ground for them to grow in. And I'm not going to let the weeds come in and strangle these ideas. They are too precious.

Welcome to the Earn your Happy Podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author.

Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you.

Bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves, get ready to earn, own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me?

Here we go. Welcome back to the Earn your happy podcast and it's time for another quickie because there's always time to fit in inspiration. And if you listened to this last Monday's podcast, you are probably really fired up because we talked all about the entrepreneurial journey and what that actually, actually looks like, especially in the beginning phases of your journey. I will tell you that those three entrepreneurs that we had on have completely reignited where I was at. So if you guys have not listened to that, there's just so much wisdom when people are really in the lessons as well. And we're all in different phases, we're all in different places and there is so much beauty in each spot. And I'll tell you, it truly is just about falling in love with the process. So you guys, if you have not listened to Mondays, I really loved it. And also those were all people who were in our Fast Foundations mastermind, which is filling really fast and we are closing the doors very soon. So go to fast foundations.com if you want to join them because they have joined again for round two. We had half the people who were in round one sign up again, which is so exciting. That means we definitely did something right and we would love to have you join not only them, if you fell in love with them like I obviously did through our round one, but so many other incredible humans. And I'll tell you, it's really about stopping doubting yourself if you know that this is your time. Don't waste another year of your life wondering or sitting in limbo. That's what this podcast is all about. Is taking action on your purpose. So you guys, today I have been thinking about the things that we're actually feeding with our. Because I get so many messages about questions about starting their vision or your purpose or what should I do in my journey? How should I grow my business? Where should I go? I'm really afraid. I hate the criticism, I'm afraid of the feedback. My family doesn't support me. My friend said this. Should I leave this relationship? That was a lot. And I feel you like I feel every, every single one of you. And what it brings me all back to is thinking about my life and the thoughts that I'm thinking and understanding that if there's anything that's sidetracking you and you have these big visions and you know it and you want that goal. So here's what I want to say. First, it's one thing if you're like really happy in your life and you're just asking me these questions because you want to be 10% happier. But it's another thing if you're frickin miserable and you're confused and you're lost and you're waking up anxious or depressed or unhappy. I'm talking to those people. I'm talking to the second group of people who are not happy with themselves. They feel stuck. Things aren't going right. It's affecting their life, their body, their health, their relationships. Everything that they do has this little fog over it. I'm talking to you. And what you're going to need to do is you have to go all in. And if there's anything that's not aligned with that vision, I'm so sorry. But you got to figure out and figure out how to get rid of it or how to spend less time on it or how to solve it or how to pray around it and find peace. Because if you're stuck on somebody's DM or comment about you being a fraud or a fake or, or looking ugly or whatever it is in social land that some stranger tells you or you're even your best friend, you cannot feed it. Because at the end of the day, and I'm just going to use this analogy, I'm from the Midwest. You're every single day you are planting your farm and you have to eat whatever it is that you planted next year, whatever it is that you're harvesting, you will eat. You have to eat. And guess what else? You're feeding all of the people around you and you're inviting all of your friends and you're inviting all of your family to that dinner of whatever you planted. So if you're planting hate or sadness or depression or anxiety or comparison because you keep on dwelling on these same thoughts or you keep caring what people are thinking or you keep feeding your fear and why you can't and why you're not like her or you're not like him and you're not lucky enough and you, you don't have what you need to have and all you can do is think about the excuse of how you grew up and how you were born behind the eight ball and how you don't have money and how your parents can't help you and how you don't feel good in your body, all of those things, then that is what you are eating and that is what you're feeding everyone else and they're also feeling it. So if you're also wondering why you're not getting that up leveled tribe or that up leveled group, it's because people who are going towards their dreams don't have any, any time for people who aren't. I'm really sorry. So if that is the case and you're like, oh yes, my conversations have been more about why I can't. When I talked to that elite level person who was trying to give me an answer, all I kept doing was thinking of excuses in my head or giving them excuses. Here's the thing, you guys, I have a million and six excuses for why I think I can't start this company that I have just started. And here's the thing, if I even give an ounce of energy to it, I know that I'm not going to make. So every time that those excuses come up and those negative thoughts about it, I literally kick them out. So it's not that they're not going to come up. I don't let them grow roots. I don't let them grow a crop. I'm not going to eat that shit next year. I am going to grow something that's super positive. And you can't forget this because it's real life. So if you want to know the real story and you're like still giving all of those thoughts to the negative stuff, I'm so sorry, but you're not going to make it to your dream. You're not. So I think it's time for some serious real talk. Because this talk right now is for me. So if I even feed or hang out with people who have any doubts, I'm not saying don't listen to feedback. Feedback is really, really vital, especially if you get feedback that stings a little bit, you need to say, why did that sting? Is this trying to tell me something? Is this trying to steer me right? So I want to tell you guys a little story. There's a company that I just started. I will tell you all about it really, really soon, as soon as legally I can. That I had made a call with a couple people who were already in this industry who had already started this, who were like five years along, seven years along, and the calls were really not that awesome. And a couple of the people were, like, telling me that I should not start it because they did not have a good experience. Now, I was so deflated after these calls. But what it did do is it also made me say, could I walk away from this dream right now? And will I be okay? Like, do I. I'm deflated, but could I really walk away from this because of what they said? And I was like, if I know one thing about my life, and you guys can borrow my story until you figure yours out. If I know one thing about my life, it's that whenever people tell me I can't or that I shouldn't, if it's something I should do that I absolutely have to follow through. And all it does is it gives me more fire to actually go through with it, and it makes me more sure that I should. And what I mean is, I didn't feel more sure that I should right after the call. But what it did do is say that's. I literally just said, that is their experience. I know in my gut I'm supposed to do this, whether it's gonna. Here's the difference between me and other entrepreneurs who are succeeding and everybody else. And this is where you need to get to. I'm going to start the thing that I know that I want to do. Whether or not it fails. I'm not sitting here from a place of. I'm so confident it's going to succeed, I have no freaking clue. This might be the wrong time, it might be the wrong market. I might be the wrong person. I don't know. What I do know is that this was put on my soul. What I do know is that this is going to be fun. What I do know is that I love the process of bringing a vision forward. Everything that has to do with it, when it's hard, when it makes me evolve even more, when it makes me grow more of a backbone, when it makes me say, you know what? When I die, I'm going to be so happy. I can say I started those companies that I wanted to start whether or not they failed or not. So that's one thing that I know is that I don't care. Okay? I do care. But I know going into this, it may not succeed. And that's okay. Because what it is going to do is give me all that, the lessons for the one that will. And you don't get those unless you start. So if you're afraid to start because of the pain, you might as well just throw in the towel on it. And I'm being really honest. You might as well just start being happy with your life right now. And that's not a cut on you. This is a real life conversation. Stop being miserable in the middle because you're not starting and you're not willing to feel pain. Because let me just tell you something. You will feel serious pain. There will be people who criticize you. You will lose money, Things will fall through. It will suck so bad. But it will also be the best experience of your life. And you will be a completely different person who sees things that you never thought you would get to see in this lifetime. You will understand people beyond what you ever knew what understanding or compassion or empathy was. You will have a new zest for the little things and for life. And just for that time spent with your friends and your family celebrating, you will be so blown away by what the human spirit is capable of doing. But if you absolutely are not set up to feel a lot of pain every week, and it's not that you're going to suffer, right? Suffering is optional, but you will feel pain. You're an entrepreneur. Your job is to solve problems. If there aren't problems and fires, you don't have a job anymore. Like, that is how you succeed and that is how you make money, is solving problems on the industry and getting your stuff out there, solving a problem. And no matter what you do, no matter how great your product is, there's going to be people who are gonna have a shit fit over you doing what you do. Because there's a lot of people out in the world as well who are also finding their significance through taking other people's ideas and telling them why they're wrong. And that's great too, if you can just love those people from afar and know what they're doing and just release it and not give it any attention at all. Unless of course, you have to legally or something like that. And even that, like, just keep your mindset somewhere else as much as possible and know that you are learning a valuable lesson for where you're going that you. You're going to experience just pure magic. But you have to know what goes with it. It's like people who, their whole life, all they've thought of is their dream partner and being married or traveling the world or having this dream relationship or this dream best friend that, you know, you start businesses with. Oh, my God. When you have that, it comes with so many problems and things that you have to figure out. And it's like two people get together who don't speak the same language. You have to learn how to. What that looks like, how you work together. It's never, ever the picturesque thing that you think. But it. Let me take that back. It is. My marriage is picturesque because we do all of the work every single day on our walk behind the scenes. We don't miss our walk every single day because we know if we do, we are taking a little bit of the health of our communication away from our marriage. And that's what our marriage thrives on, is making sure we make room every single day to communicate. If we don't, I could be resentful about something that happens that I don't bring up and I sweep it under, under the rug. He could do the same. So I create those pockets for success, you guys, this is what you're going to do in your business. Create pockets for success. If you find that you are feeling weak and you're not feeling good about your idea and you're not feeling powerful, it's because you have not taken the time to support yourself. You haven't asked yourself, what do I need to feel good in this moment? What do I need to feel safe? What do I need to feel supported? Write that down and then do it. If you're not doing that, you will not feel safe, you will not feel supported, and you will not be growing your idea. You will be growing shit crops that you will continue eating over and over and over. I am saying this with so much love and so much fire and so much passion because I need you to finally get it. I need you to get that if you are focused on your excuses and why and looking at maybe even. I just. I have to say it. Like, even if you're looking at past traumas or really terrible things that have happened, that's what you're feeding. That's what is growing. I know that these things happened. I know it was terrible. But you have to take that pain and learn how to transform it. Because that quote that I've been Talking about, I believe it's Reverend Richard Rohr. It's a lot of Rs says if you don't learn how to transform your pain, right? And I'm going to add, if you don't learn how to transform your pain into your purpose, you're going to transfer it. And that's exactly what a lot of us are doing. Hey, I'm guilty of it. I'm guilty of it all of the time. Like, if I feel pain and I haven't quite worked through it yet, guess who's going to get it? Probably my husband. Or I'm going to be annoyed at people online or I'm going to throw some shade on people that they don't even know because I'm going to be passive aggressive about it. Because that's what we do when we're from the Midwest. Just kidding. But it's true. You guys, you literally have to get out of your way and let that idea from God or your creator, whatever you believe, come through. Stop treating it like it's not real. Stop. Stop treating your life like it's not a miracle. Stop treating that gift like it is a doormat. It's out of control, what we are doing because social media is so rampant and, and it's so important in our business. What's happening though, is it is killing our soul because we are giving it all of our thoughts, we're giving it all of our time. We're letting it decide how we want to feel. If it's changing how you're feeling, stop looking at the things, stop following the accounts. You have to burn the boats. Like Tony Robbins always says, you have to decide. And the root word of decide actually means to cut off. And if you're leaving that window open, if you're keeping your energy tied to someone that you don't like, if you're hooking your cart to someone that's a little bit negative, you are carrying them. And when you are running the race of your life, like, this is a marathon, when you are running a marathon, you can't afford to be attached to anything else. Like, I don'. Know if you guys have run long distances, but let me just tell you that if I put a key in your hand, a tiny little key, that key would start to feel heavy and irritating. By mile five or six, you'd be like, get this ten pound key out of my hands. Like, this is obnoxious. I need to be free. So this is what you need to know is that the more you get into the race, the More little things. You're like, I gotta shed this. I've gotta let it go. Like, yes, this was my super cute jacket that I bought, but it is 80 degrees, trees out and I don't care how much I spent on it or how cute this is. Like, I'm chucking this on the road. Like, that's exactly how it feels. Like you don't care. I don't know if you guys have ever been to a marathon, but I have been to many because my brother in law runs them. And you see so many like cute jackets and clothes and things just thrown on the side or left in the outhouses where they have. They've had to like run and use the bathroom because they just don't care anymore. They're like, this is the race of my life. I'm never gonna finish this by holding on to these insignific things that were once significant. Let it go. You guys have to do the work and you have to do the reps of letting it go. I had some crazy stuff happen to me the other day that some people came up and said to me right after speaking, and it was like gut punch. It was horrendous. I was not expecting that. I will tell you, if it happened two years ago, I would have been taken down at the knees and I'd probably never speak my message again. But. But because I am in a place now where I understand that this is part of the process and that I can let go of things and that I can. This is exactly what I know how to do. I literally was like, okay, who's gonna help me with some reps of letting go? And I was like, Gary Vaynerchuk. Chuck is gonna help me with that because he's really the guy who's just like, why do you care? Like, what are you doing? If you're an entrepreneur and building a business, you can't care. It's so ridiculous what we're giving our energy to. So I listened to two podcasts while I went on a run and I gotta tell you, I did about a thousand reps of letting go. Every time that those thoughts would come in of what had happened and I was like, nope, okay, moving on. What am I going to think about that's positive? And I think of that for about a minute and then it would come back and I'd be like, nope, letting go, not thinking of that. What am I going to think about? Okay, I'm going to think about what he's talking about. I'm so excited about painting this Vision. Nope, not going to think of that. That's what it looks like. So if you're like, yeah, I know, but it doesn't work. Do your reps the only way to transform your body I talk so much about physicality because this is how I first changed my life. The only way is reps upon reps upon reps. And guess what? Sometimes you don't see results for like three months, six months, or sometimes even a year that you want to see. So you have to do reps in faith. And it's not going to change right away. It's not going to feel different. The only reason it felt different for me quickly is because I've been doing the reps for years. So it's like that comeback rate, right? If you have that solid physicality in place, you're probably going to get back in shape a lot faster than someone who hasn't been doing the reps. So I got in shape mentally a lot faster, which is so exciting because I'm like, whoa, this is a sign. I've been doing the work and I've been staying in mental shape. So that's all I care about right now, is taking so much care of my mental health. Because if I have a thriving place to plant my ideas, I don't have to worry as much. I can know that these ideas are going to thrive because I have created a solid ground for them to grow in and I'm not going to let the weeds come in and strangle. These ideas are too precious.

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So you guys have to think of that in your mind. These ideas are so precious. They are your babies. Do not let other things come in and strangle them out and then give those things that are strangling them all of your power to grow. Because that is on you. If that is happening, it's okay. Don't beat yourself up. If you're one of those people who's like, well now I have something to get upset about because she told me that I suck. Like that's where we get stuck. You don't suck. I do it too. This is pure love, saying, you guys. We have so much in the world that needs to come out. Your purpose, your message. Whether it's for other people or just for your own peace of mind or just so that when you rest your head on your pillow at night that you can actually sleep and be so freaking proud of yourself. I don't care if it's for other people. I don't care if it's to change the world or not. All I care about is that you're not tormented in this life. Right? This is the gift. There may not be something outside of this or after this. Nobody knows, right? Some of you are like, I know. And that's great. That is massive faith. Maybe I know too. But this life is a gift. Don't treat it as if it's not. This life is a gift. Don't treat it as if it's not. I love you guys. I'm so grateful for you. I love seeing what your takeaways are, what you want to hear about next, where this left you. Shout me out out on Instagram or just tag me so I can see what your takeaways were like. That's really important to me so I can know what to talk about next week and journey with you while you're going through all of this. So if you guys can't tell, I was on a bit of a winter and now I'm getting into a very fiery place, so that's where we're going together. I hope that you are ready to lock arms and go there with me. So thank you guys so much and it does mean the world when you share. Please share this if you get any value from my podcast, please please make sure you go, rate, review and share this podcast. It's the only way it gets out. You guys are truly the people who are getting this out into the world. So thank you guys so much and I will see you on the next podcast. Bye guys. Thank you guys so much for spending.

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