404: Questionably Awesome - Your burning questions about FRIENDSHIP answered

Even when you have a friend who's a good friend and they're in a bad place, you're excited to meet with them, even when it's bad because you feel useful. So I think it's more about, like, for sure. Are they not willing to even try to help themselves and are they just, like, slanderous towards you? Welcome to the earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul, and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn, own, and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Welcome to another episode of questionably awesome E. Crad. That's her handle, but she's private, so good luck with that one. I love it. Everyone's like, please show me a picture of Evans.

Like, they'll never know.

Yeah. But when you. Well, you guys, there's a story right now, but, oh, it's gonna be expired by the time you see it. Never mind. So tell about what questionably awesome is.

It's an amazing podcast where we talk, have coffee, chat, and answer really important questions and laugh a lot and go on tangents.

Yeah. So if you're looking for something like a specific tool to really help move your life forward, that's probably Russell Brand's podcast.

Yeah.

So just a pre warning, this is not like the other shows on Earn your happy. It's a lot more fun. Just kidding. Like, just kidding.

It is.

All right. So, yeah, you know, I just. I really want to say, like, I added this episode because I wanted to laugh a lot with a friend, and this has, like, changed my entire life. So I just have to say thank you to the woman sitting across from me.

Thank you, Lord.

Know my imaginary friend, Mary. Oh, yeah, yeah.

She's a lot funnier.

Thanks, Mar. Yeah, thanks for highlighting me. Okay. All right, Evan, so I would love to know just where you're at this morning.

I'm feeling a lot better. I cried last week. Remember how I cried last week? Yeah. And I feel like that released some good stuff.

Did you. Do you have, like, a baby bottle at home that you use when no one's around?

That I just drink out of when I'm feeling.

I was like, if you knew I was having a bad day and you came in, I had a blanket and a baby bottle full of wine.

Like a little plastic play pad for me to. To get in fetal position on.

I think we should make adult baby bottles full of wine. Yeah, wouldn't that be awesome?

I would drink out of it. To be honest, it might be a little hard. Well, how much liquid comes out of a bottle?

You know, I wish I could tell you, but I haven't had a bottle in a while.

Me neither.

So. But I bet if I was a mom, because you test it, you probably do, like, use bottles frequently.

It might be a good way to keep yourself from going over the limit.

You know, my mom used to always. Because I used to love nooks. Like, as a child, like an older child, probably like five or six. Like, I wanted a baby nook all the time. I'd always ask for one. And my mom was like, your card. I had buck teeth.

Wait, what's a baby nook?

Like a nook? Like the binky. A binky? A pacifier.

Oh, I thought you meant like crawling into someone's nose.

No, I was the weird kid who just wanted a binky. I don't think that's at an old age, but I was always threatened that I would get buck teeth, so that's.

You know what you can get braces.

And now there's camelbacks. Yeah. And I use those. And I'm like, I don't have buck teeth. You just wear a camelback.

24. 7.

It is. It's an adult nookie. But okay, so there's camelbacks, but now there's also the water bottles made by camelbacks. Yeah.

With that you like, bite down on.

Yes. Yeah, those are my fave. I don't know. I've always had like a mouth thing. Like, I've always loved. I used to collect baby spoons and eat ice cream off of them. And I like the rubber coated ones. Oh, God, there's too much information out there now.

Wait, do you. You know, a lot of people collect spoons, though.

They put them on a little.

A little thing.

Oh, we did that. Well, we collected spoons from all over and put them on our dressers. My sister and I like baby spoons. Yeah. Because remember there was like gold baby spoons and there was like. Yeah, we thought that was really cool. Do you still. The 80s were so weird. Like, you collect so many tchotchkes in the 80s that your entire dresser was full of the weirdest things. And you go over to a friend's house and you could just look for hours at what was on top of their dresser. Like, tell me about the tail of this spoon. Well, I was in Disneyland walking through Papa Peter Pan's wildest ride.

Sorry, the plastic spoons. I know exactly what you're talking about.

Yeah, I know you do, because you probably had a couple.

Oh, for sure.

Tell me the tail of a spoon. The little plastic spoon. Mine were metal.

That's nice.

Yeah, that is nice.

That means you really had a good collection.

I did, but there were some that I would still just buy like from like a Walmart or something. Wait, we didn't have Walmart. Like a shop company and I would use for ice cream.

Do you want to hear a really cool review?

I really do thank you for that because that was four minutes about spoons, so.

But that gets. Do you know what else we should tell people?

What?

The questions this week are about one category.

Oh, my God. We're going to get real linear in a second, guys, and it's going to blow your mind. Just kidding. We're not. Don't get excited. All you Virgos out there, just tune out right now.

Bye.

Hi, Sagis. Bye, Virgos. Just kidding. I love me a good Virgo. In fact, I need one Virgos.

Are. Are they very organized, actually?

Oh, yeah, that's Nick. They ground you. They just like are very organized. Yeah, but they need a little fun in their life. Okay, so shout out to Virgos. All right, let's do that review. Yeah. Okay.

This is from Sace Case. Evans and Lori are hilarious, amazing and growth based content partnered with joy and silliness. Makes it so much fun to tune in. Love you guys.

Well, she just nailed us.

I know. And her. Her title said shine back 444.

Are you.

Wait, what's 444?

Oh my God, I love 444. Oh, that's an angel number.

That's what you talked about one time.

Yeah, literally. I love that.

Shine Back.

Wow. I really love that. Thanks for that. Today. If you send in a review, which you guys, if you're listening to this, it would mean the world to us if you would write a review. If you send in in a review and we choose you, then you just need to write customer service. So, Lori, wait. Yeah, customer serviceaurieharder.com and we will send you something really, really cool if you say, hey, I was the review of the week. I was shine back444. Or whatever her handle was.

Yeah.

And we'll send you something awesome. So there you go. What's your quote? What's your quote?

My quote is something. I don't know if Maya Angelou was the first one to say this, but I feel like Oprah's said that. She said it a couple of times. And it's about friendship. The best way to get more. Get a friend is be a friend.

Ain't that the truth?

Ain't that the truth?

How are you gonna be a friend?

You're gonna show up when you. When you need to show up.

Oh, I like that. You know, I was watching this thing about friendship, which. This is so perfect because.

What.

Did you make that. Because today is about friendship. Yeah. Okay. I was gonna say, how weird is that? But you were actually thinking. Yeah, okay. You were actually planning. All right. I like what you did there. I was watching something on Instagram. Weird. I know you were. I know. It's so weird that I was on Instagram.

Yeah.

And this thing came up about. She's a friendship expert, I guess. I don't know how you do that. Like, I don't know how you get that title. Like, do your friends anoint you? Is it like, Sir Charles has become a friendship expert? We've dubbed him anointed.

And you get a silver spoon.

Do you know. And the gold one for friendship. Do you? Yeah. I don't know how you get. Oh, she listened to my podcast. She freaking anointed herself.

Oh, yes, she did.

So there you go. I'm one, too.

Anoint yourself.

Just. I'm. We are one, too. You're one today. Especially because you aligned your quote with today's theme. All right, so I was watching it, and she was talking about how, like, there's actual things that you can use as, is this friend good for me or not? And it was like. It was like, you can totally have bad days, but if it's like five really bad meetings to one, if that's the ratio all the time, that's your sign. It's probably time to move on.

Yeah.

Because even when you're in a bad way, like, I don't think we've had five bad ways in a row. We never have. And it's not that we can't, because sometimes your life could probably really crumble.

Of course.

Yeah. So I don't really know if I go for that, but at the same time, I get what she's saying. Like, if it's, like, five meetings where this person is really taking you down because even when you have a friend who's a good friend and they're in a bad place, you're excited to meet with them even when it's bad because you feel useful. So I think it's more about like, for sure. Are they not willing to even try to help themselves and are they just like slanderous towards you?

That would be awful. I feel like the 5 to 1 ratio is only. It's like you want that ice cream to chocolate ratio. You don't want that in a friendship.

Yeah, you know, I explain, I'm a little lost.

Five to one. Like you want five scoops of of ice cream with your chalk. Like one's chocolate sauce. Maybe. But you don't want five to one bad meetings.

What if you don't like vanilla ice cream?

Pick a different flavor.

Choose again.

You must like ice cream.

You're like, well, currently I'm choosing a new friend. I'm just kidding. I like chocolate ice cream.

Me too.

I like that. I like the comparisons.

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All right, so this quote is by Russell. It's not by Russell Brand. It's on Russell Brand's Instagram. Good God, this world of Instagram. What would we do without it? All right, it's a Marianne Williamson. I screenshotted it. Okay, Marianne Williamson quote on his page. It says it takes courage to endure the sharp pains of self discovery rather than choose to take the dull pain of unconsciousness that would last the rest of our lives. Courage. So I like that because. Takes courage.

It really does.

Yeah. And porridge.

And porridge to keep you through.

It does. You're like, I need comfort food. So I liked that one. Do you have a question?

Oh, so many. On friendship.

Okay, guys, so there's a theme this week. It's new for us. It's new and I freaking loved it. It's really great because it's gonna keep my mind in your mind in that lane of friends. Bring it.

Friendship. Okay, here we go. Oh, this is from dakotawallace.

Shut your face. I love this.

Dead serious.

Dakota Wallace is one of our amazing employees and she's the frickin bomb dot com.

This is a great. Yeah, Bomb. Bomb diggity.

Yeah. So popular. Let's keep saying super cool words.

She says, I'm no longer interested in the typical Bar scene, socializing that many of my peers are involved in but still want to meet and call in my tribe. What tips and suggestions do you have for staying in alignment while still being social? Great question.

Oh, I love this.

Yeah.

Oh, this is so good. How about you go first? Okay.

I feel similarly to Dakota because a lot of people, especially here, there's a big bar scene, like you go out to all the clubs. And I don't really like that. I mean, I think it's cool, but I get tired.

Do you think it's cool? Would you. Would you really want to go? I'm just wondering.

Probably not.

Yeah, but that was nice of you.

Yeah, but teach Merle, speak your truth.

Trying to.

I don't know. I think that, Dakota, it's a great idea to just find tribes in different places where you like to hang out.

That's all I can think of too, is really. Because I don't like it past 9 o'. Clock. I just wither away. People don't like me after that hour. I can do it if you, you know, once. Once in a while. For sure. I'm not like some grandma who can't hang out or whatever, but. But that's pretty much the truth. I am a grandma who can't hang out that long.

Me too.

I'm probably. So here's what I do. I make, like. I'm just better in the afternoon, so I make afternoon dates. And I find these people more at, like a soul cycle who I frequent Soul cycle. So I start making friends in that arena, you know, maybe going to some. Looking for some different networking things. I know that you did an acting class, and I'm sure that you could find different people in there who were probably either serious about acting or who were more into, like, the arts or whatever. That looked like definitely like a dance class in the afternoon or morning. Like, obviously, if you're doing things more at night, you're gonna find more of a night crowd. But I think there's so many people now, and there's also like, this whole, like, sober movement going through, which is awesome. I don't. I'm not ever gonna do it, but it's. But it's awesome because what that's doing is creating new ways of connecting. So even googling that in your city, and obviously it's in the bigger cities right now and seeing what that looks like. And I know especially Dakota, you love, like, sound bowls and meditation. And I would go to the meditation centers because there's a whole crew that hangs out there and they're definitely. Most of them are not late night people because they got to get up to meditate at 6am At 6am on the dot. Yeah. And it's when the popular meditation vibes are getting downloaded. So I don't want to miss my 6am downloads. And I'm being serious.

No, seriously.

I don't know. I kind of am. I'm kind of not.

But Dakota does a good job of going. She is very into self development and she goes to a lot of those events. And you probably will start to see similar faces if you go to events regularly. So I guess it's just a matter of being like, hey, I know I've seen you a couple times. My name's Evans. And would you ever be interested in getting a cup of coffee sometime?

Do you think she should say her name is Evan?

She should say her name is Evans.

Do you think that would make her more popular?

No, that'll. That'll be the opposite.

Don't use that. Because when you use your name, people are like, oh, that's a unique name.

But Dakota, that's a unique name.

Dakota's like a cool name. Yeah, like, I wouldn't be able to live up to that.

Me neither.

I'm very much a Lori.

Hey, Lori. Hey.

Just kidding. Anyone named Lori. I especially love you. I feel fond of your name. We talked about this before. It means taxi, cab or truck. Yeah.

Or juggernaut.

Oh, you guys, I don't really know if it means taxi, cab or truck. It's a Lori is some form of vehicle in England. But yes. So also I. I think one of the main things that you can do. Here's the deal, you guys. If you want a different life, you gotta be a leader. That's it. End of story. If you're still complaining about it, this is the gut punch. Ready? Just ball up your fist and just give one to yourself right in the gut. Don't do that.

Okay.

If you are stuck in a rut and you're like, I have no friends here and they all stay out late and I'm too tired, create your own tribe in your own circle. That's what I did when I lived in Minnesota. Because let me tell you, if people, if anyone who likes to stay out late, drink beer and have cheese curds, it is us. Like, we definitely. It's the culture of food and hanging out late and drinking a lot of beer and doing all of that stuff. So that's what I grew up with. And it was like, I don't want to do this anymore. So I started my own thing. I was like, let's just meet for a workout. Let's go to brunch after. Let's go grab coffee. Like, start something where people are meeting. And I'm telling you, they're not. Like, my first few of those, nobody came. It was just me.

So.

And when I moved out here, I started a meetup group. I literally started. I was on meetup.com and started Meetup groups. So if you guys are whining about it, it's because you don't yet want to do anything about it. And I hate to be so brash, but it's just the truth. Because I'm scolding, not scolding, lovingly telling myself this right now. Like, yeah, you can all. The only thing that's going to change is what you're willing to change and get uncomfortable with. End of story. So if you can't help yourself and support yourself, then you're going to stay. You know what? Get a binky.

Yeah, get one of those wine bottles.

Wine bottles. Oh, my God. It's literally. We'll title it W H I N E Wine bottles. All right, next question. Thanks, Dakota.

Great question, Dakota. Oh, this is a great question. At the Mindful Dream.

Oh, cool.

Tips on sustaining a long distance friendship. The best way. Think 5530 miles apart, to be precise.

Definitely send nudes frequently.

Yeah, send a lot of nudes.

Friends keep them interested in touch that way.

Sit nudes.

Just kidding. What are you wearing? Not that type of friendship. Okay, So I don't know. I like to pretend like I'm in that world or something. It's fun. Sometimes I'm like, yeah, I'm 22. Okay, here's the deal. My friends are in Costa Rica, and so Lindsay's in Costa Rica. I talk to her every other week via Zoom or Skype or telephone. So that's what you do. You make an appointment, you make a date, and you make it a priority. So I don't know how many miles away that is, but it doesn't matter if it was one mile or if it was 5,222 miles. Like, that is just. It's just happening. So Danette is in Colorado and Lindsay is in Costa Rica, and we all meet every other week for one hour on the phone and we talk. And this has been happening for almost five years now. So it's a priority or it's not.

You gotta put it on your calendar.

That's all. Yeah, that's it. But here's the deal about that you also want a little bit of structure because if you're just like, can we meet every, can we call every two weeks for x amount of time? If it's just two of you, like you only need like a 20 to 30 minute drop in call. And you say that and you say this is what it's gonna be each week. Don't worry about it. Like you don't stress. Because I did have a friend that I tried connecting with. This was a while back. Every time we got on the phone it was like a two hour phone call and she was such a Debbie Downer and I was just like, I can't talk to her anymore because I can never trust it's gonna be like it's gonna consume my whole day, it's gonna ruin my appointments afterward. Cause I won't know how to get off the phone with her. So. And no offense to her, we just were not. It was kind of that friend ratio where it was like the 5 to 1 was not really working out in my favor, just draining. I was yeah, super exhausted. So that's when I knew I was like, okay, this is not working. Because I did not start with boundaries or a structure or saying that my intention was to like help each other just connect and help each other through whatever we're going through. So have some structure. Be like, hey, I would love to keep in touch with you. Have some intention behind what you want to do or it's never going to happen. So both set an intention, say, hey, I would love to keep this friendship up. And I know the only thing that's going to, you know, stay in, in a good place relationship wise or like continue to grow? I really want to invest in this is if we are intentional with it. So do you want to meet, you know, once every two weeks or once a month on this call on the 15th at this time for 30 minutes. How does that sound?

Boom. Structure, structure.

Done. Done. How about you?

I agree. My friends and I are all spread out. So we have.

Yeah, you're far away.

Super far away. But we just, we don't have like a structured time each week.

Yeah.

But we do plan a yearly trip.

Ah.

Which really helps. And sending fun things in the mail really helps too because it's just a fun little bright spot. Yeah.

And do you send like fruit roll up underwear to each other?

That's exactly. We send a lot of nudes via mail.

But you're just like, it's just funny because you're like, okay, send a picture of you Just eating the fruit Roll up underwear. No. Is that weird? I feel like I'm just getting weird on this one.

No, that's exactly what we do. If you want to have a good friend, you gotta send the nudes.

Yeah. You know, if anybody's just really questioning right now, that's fine. We're gonna leave you in questionsville.

Yeah. Send the naked photos.

All right, so you know what to do. I am so afraid someone's gonna send a nude to their friend right now, and it's gonna. You know what? Well, that'll test the level of how close you are. You'll be like, I was joking, Suzanne. Maybe you didn't understand that when I sent that to you.

Yeah. How? A little laughter.

Have a sense of humor. Check your funny bone. Put some elbow pads on because you're extra sensitive.

Yeah.

Ooh, ooh, ding. Elbow pads. Ding. Wait, is that what you say? No. What do you say when you're like, boom, burn. Yeah, burn.

Not ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

Got you good.

Okay.

Do we have another question?

Oh, yeah.

It's like you throw me a life preserver when you give me one.

Oh. I mean, I feel like this question. All these questions can really pertain to a. A good book that I've read called A Tribe Called Bliss.

Oh, my God, what a book. I swear, we did not. Shayna just chose friendship. I swear I didn't plug it, but good job, Shane. I'm so proud of you.

But seriously, you've got tools for all these things?

I asked Chris. Well, I was about to say something really funny. You know, when we're in bed, this is a random, random tangent. So if you don't like these, you should probably listen to different podcasts.

Okay.

I asked Chris last night in bed. I was like. Like, this is about to be really funny. I was like, hey, what if. What if during sex, I talked like this the whole time? Hey, yeah. And he just died laughing. And he was like, never.

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Well, the next question is from Ash J. Nims. How do you truly know when an old friend isn't meant for your current season of life?

How do you know when an old friend is not meant for the current season of life? Oh, okay. You know when like summer comes and you go to your closet and you're looking for like the jacket, light jacket or tank you should wear when you are walking at night because you're about to power walk. Yes. And there is a big furry jacket in there and you put it on and you start power walking and you're like, this does not feel good. I am sweating. I'm uncomfortable. It's heavy, is making me feel bad. That's how it feels when you're with a friend that has expired and they might even. It's literally like it's got an expiration date.

Yeah.

You're just not wearing it in this season.

That's all.

You might wear it again. They are invited to come when you're in another season and they might play a different role. So here's what I want to talk about with friends. I don't and it's fine if you use this word, but I don't actually believe people are toxic. They might feel toxic to you, but that's because you have kept the celery past the expiration date.

Yes.

It's like you're keeping the rotten celery around. It's not even rotten, it's just like it's not for you anymore. It's now meant to be compost and turn into something else. So we keep it Way past its expiration date. Or it's now supposed to play a different role in our lives. So we forget that this expired salary is now meant to be compost for our new garden and play a totally different role. Except we don't change the role. We keep wanting to consume it because we think it's still salary.

It's not.

It's not anymore. It's now meant to play a new role. So sometimes that person is just meant to be there when you just want to get shit faced. And maybe that's not going to be as frequent. It might be once a year. They might be mad about it, or they still might be your friend who wants to go to the bars once a year on New Year's Eve.

Yep.

But you have to understand when the roles change. But how do you know it just won't feel right? It won't feel good. You won't have as much in common. It will feel very forced. You'll feel maybe, maybe you're feeling like the role of a coach or maybe you're feeling like the role of somebody who's just like getting unloaded on. And part of that might be your fault too. So I do want to always say look and see if you are telling them your needs because sometimes we're just not saying what we actually need. Like, hey, this friend is no longer asking me questions like, you know what? I absolutely love when we connect and like, we go to lunch. But I have lately in my relationships been noticing that I am not speaking up. And I tend to always play the role of the listener and the coach. And I'm not like, I'm leaving and I'm feeling really like I'm not being able to have anyone that I get to talk to. So would you hold me accountable to asking how I am in making sure that I actually tell you and get vulnerable? Because I'm not getting vulnerable anywhere in my life. And I really need a place to feel like I'm also able to share. And if that's too heavy for you, then you probably will not get to a place where you ever get to a really mutual, energetic friendship. Yeah, you have to be vulnerable and it sucks. And you're probably gonna have a vulnerability hangover right afterward because you're gonna be like, I shared too much. So make sure that you're sharing in a safe relationship. Be like, is this a safe space to share? Like, I need to know that, you know, this is just gonna stay right here. And if you don't feel like it's safe Then keep searching until you find somebody who is. The friendship is work. It's a. It's as much work as it is. I feel like, as a partner in your life.

Yes.

So we've had conversations where we're like, oh, my God, I feel like I was weird. Or, oh, my God, I feel like I shared too much. Or, oh, my God, Evans, I feel like I was really negative. Can I just talk about it? You're like, no. Oh, my God, no, you're fine. Like, yeah, it's.

You tell. You get so in your head about it. Not you, like, everyone. You know how you get so much in your head and you're like, oh, so weird.

Boo, boo, boo.

And then you just let it out and everything's better. She's gotta be honest. You're letting it out right now?

I'm letting it out. It was just emotion in the form of coughing. Okay. Do you have one more question? I think we have time.

Oh, absolutely.

Do we have time?

Yes, we have time.

Okay.

Oh, this makes me sad. Missy Nelson, how do you deal with a friend that suddenly stops all communication?

Missy, that's a gift.

Yeah. I'm really sorry that happened.

I am so sorry that that happened. I have absolutely had those friends who have, like, totally ghosted on you. And here's. Here's the deal. They have made up a story in their mind that either you did something or they did something, or that they're too busy, or they energetically can't handle a relationship right now, or it's not about you at all.

Yeah.

So this is where we have to complete ourselves. And it is. The hardest thing you'll ever do in your life is a relationship that doesn't end the way that you want it to. Whether it's a friendship or a partner. It is like, I don't know. I'm generalizing, but I think especially for women, because we're just, like, heartbroken and we think that we're bad people if this happens to us, we're just like, I must be bad. I must have done something bad. You got to complete yourself. How do you do that, Evans?

Oh, man, that's. I just feel for Missy. I'm sorry that happened because that's ghosting. I don't. I don't like that.

No.

But what's that quote from Maya Angelou again? When people show you who they are, listen. So maybe if that person just dropped off the face of the earth and then they're not going to be around for a friendship, then that's okay.

Yeah.

You just need to move on, I guess. Or hopefully they're okay.

Yeah, I mean, obviously, if, you know, if they're okay, then that's fantastic. Yeah, I. I would definitely say that you probably. I'm just gonna be super honest. I think that everything is really, like, pretty much called in by us for whatever we need to learn. So I don't know. I feel like Evan's had a. Had an experience like this last week, not necessarily with the ghosting relationship, but with. We call in what we need in the form of really crappy lessons. So in it, it's. They come in the form of people because otherwise we don't learn them. So for me, I've absolutely had experiences where I've had, like, a best friend just completely do a 180. Like, all of a sudden, one day, a phone call where it was like, I didn't. Like, almost as if an alien took over her body and was saying the craziest stuff. And I was like, how is this happening? And it was because I needed to. I needed to know who I was without that person, and I needed to love me without someone having to love me or give me validation. And I also needed to be able to make other relationships and know that not every relationship is gonna be on the whole journey. I know that sometimes people change their opinion of you overnight, and it will make you question who you are so incredibly much. But what it will do is make you get super solid on who you are. It'll be like, it made me ask some serious questions, like, how was I showing up? Who am I? Did I have a boundary with this person? Did I really trust this person in the beginning, or was I overlooking a lot of things because I wanted to feel popular within this group or whatever it was. It made me look at so many things and question so many things that took me a solid year to get over it. I mean, like, of crying almost every morning.

That stinks.

But it was so. For me, right? It stinks. But it also was, like, a million percent the best thing that's ever happened to me. And that was a lot of years ago now. And I have not. It's kind of like you. Once you get the lesson, you're just. You're not gonna. It's probably not gonna keep showing up for you, because now I can actually spot what will turn into that and what won't. Kind of like in relationships, you're like, oh, I kind of know what's gonna happen next when I go for that type of person.

Yeah.

So you start Looking at other people. Or you start saying, can I overlook this for a while? Until you see different signs. So how about you?

Oh, yeah. I think that makes me sad when someone's ghosted you like that. I would, A, make sure they're not, like, in the hospital or something. And B, that's not funny. Sorry.

But. Well, it's true.

But it's true. As long as they're okay. And then if they're just not talking to you anymore, then you just gotta move on.

And I'm telling you, if you're looking at their social media stuff and their stories and you're like, nope, they're alive and well, please mute them.

Yeah, just unfollow.

Oh, my God. For the love of God, I have a few people muted because I just can't. And because relationships have either ended or whatever, and it's. It makes me feel terrible when I see their stuff. So guess what I'm not gonna do anymore.

Watch what they're doing.

Exactly. Like, stop it. You're actually, like, inflicting your own pain. It's so crazy what we do. Like, what if these were physical wounds? I mean, would you do that to yourself? Would you actually take a paddle and pull your pants down and just spank yourself every time, like, super hard with a whip?

No.

I mean, that's what some of you do, but if that's your thing, great. I watch billions, so if you like that, that's awesome. Not my thing. So I'm literally not gonna be like, let's go watch their page.

Yeah, Whack. Watch.

It's the same exact thing. Don't spank yourself.

Nope.

Unless you like it, don't spank yourself.

Just. I would just send her one more nude and call it a day. Just see if that.

You know. If you want a response and you want to know if they're okay, just do it.

Where you been?

Just a quick. Where's been. Is it because I haven't been sending these? God, that is just. I don't know. I think it's just so funny. Especially if you send him a coffee mug with it on there. Just be, like, to brighten your day, but make sure it's just the most awkward. Like you're standing out in the garden, like, watering flowers. All right. With garden gloves on and galoshes.

If my friends ditzen me a nude like that, I would laugh so hard.

I would laugh so hard. I'd be like, I really just. Thank you. I love your galoshes.

Me too. I'm like, you're doing great.

You're. You know what? It's just. Life is getting better and better for you over there, so keep it up. Thanks for the mug. I'm probably not going to ever use it, but maybe I would. I totally would.

Yeah.

I totally would. All right, so parting thoughts.

Nudes are. Love yourself, love yourself.

You're like, the energy. That one's gone. Okay. I wanted it to be there, but I'm feeling like we've worn it out.

Yep.

Yeah. Parting thoughts. I just. I can't say enough how. Oh, I just saw a quote. It was like, sometimes the only way to get over things is to stop giving a shit. And I just was like, that's pretty much it. That's. I don't know if it's getting older or what, but seriously, I just. There's no time. There isn't. There's not. There is nothing worth caring about and losing your peace of mind over for more than, like, the human experience of just, like, that really sucked. Okay, well, how can I surround myself and support myself with people who do love me? How can I build up a list of people who do love me? Because sometimes you don't have that list. I've definitely looked around in my life where I've been, like, don't have this list yet. Haven't spent enough time really investing into a list of these people. So everything's work, and if that's really painful to hear, just start putting in a little more work.

Yes.

Yeah. That's all there is to it. So, you guys, over and out. I hope that you. I hope that you invest in some good walkie talkies in case of, like, a natural disaster.

Yes, that's actually important. That's part of the earthquake pact. Yeah.

So I must have them around the house somewhere, because I do have an earthquake pack. All right, so. Roger that. Over and out. Race girl. Have a good one. Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely, absolutely amazing, and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review. If you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment, Tell us what you think, Tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again, guys. Bye.

Bye.