414: 3 Ways to turn your fear into power

Fear has so many beautiful messages for you. So a lot of times when we're afraid, it's just because we haven't been there before, or it's bringing up something from our past, or we saw something happen to someone else and we think it's going to happen to us, or we don't think we're as strong as we are. It's trying to tell you something.

Welcome to the Earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest.

Or a thought that will help you.

Bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships.

We don't wait until we're ready for.

Someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves, get ready to earn, own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me?

Here we go. Welcome back to the Earn your happy podcast and it's time for another quickie because there's always time to fit in inspiration and if you haven't heard, I have a huge announcement. You guys, I just launched something that is going to help you step in to your next level and become the speaker, the leader and the incredible confident facilitator and event host that you've always wanted to be. So if you are someone who has had a dream of being a powerful speaker who delivers their message confidently in their own way on stage, podcasts in whatever way that is in any public forum, if you're someone who's always wanted to have retreats or workshops or your own event, if you're someone who's wanted to do this for a living and make it profitable, or someone who already has a corporate job and really wants to add different events and workshops and be able to powerfully own their message and speak in front of people, I have created an event along with my incredible friend Lindsay Schwartz that I have collaborated with called Event Love E v E N T L U v dot com and it is just for you. It is a five day, in person, experiential, immersive workshop where you're not only learning from Lindsay and I and other incredible guests that we're inviting in in this space space, but you actually step in and facilitate and become the trainer after we teach you different exercises and how to do this. So you guys, this is 100% hands on. If you Are anxious. If you are a nervous speaker, if you don't feel ready to own your message, if you know this is your calling, but you have never had a place to practice and you don't feel confident, this is 1 million percent the place where you get to stay, step in and actually experience it. Be guided, be led and be coached on exactly how to become the speaker, leader, teacher, facilitator and event host that you've always wanted to be. We're ready to break down the nuts and bolts for you on booking events, coordinating, getting speakers, or being a speaker, facilitating and creating the dream career that you have always been wanted. So if you're ready to spend five days with Lindsay and I and my team and other amazing guests, go to Event love. That's luv event luv.com and you guys, Early Bird has an incredible special right now you're actually going to get a bonus free Bliss project ticket and a bonus free Powerhouse women's event ticket. And that is what Lindsay hosts right now. So you don't want to miss out. Make sure you go to eventluv.com and today I want to talk to you all about fear. Because fear has a message for you. And there are three major things that you need to know about fear. And number one, I want to get right in and I want to tell you that fear is your friend and it's your co pilot. It's always going to be there. Even when you think you are on a solo flight and that you've got it all covered. You are going to most likely at one point, if you're doing something that stretches you or expands you, you are going to feel fear and instead of resisting it, because here's what we do. We spend most of our time in resistance. And when we're in resistance of fear, we're so focused on what we don't want to happen. We're so focused on building stories that don't actually exist yet. We're so focused on creating a worst case scenario that we're not actually putting our energy towards moving forward and taking action and creating a world where no matter what, we are only focusing on winning and we're only focusing on things going right. So I get it. It's okay to be like, oh my God, I'm afraid of this, I'm afraid of this and I'm afraid of this. But here's the deal. Give your fear an outlet. Like if you try to ignore fear, it's just gonna come and it's gonna wrap its hands around your neck. Until you pay attention to it. So what happens is, a lot of times when we go to do something new, when we're about to commit to something, when you're about to commit to a program, when you are about to commit to a coach, when you're about to go to an event, when you're about to pay for a course, when you're about to take a different job, when you're about to quit a job, when you're about to do anything new that you know is meant for you to go on your next level level, but it scares the crap out of you. A lot of times if you don't sit down and talk about the things that you're afraid of with someone who can hold that space for you, that fear is going to grow. So, number one most important thing about understanding fear is that you need to make sure you have a space to acknowledge it in. And what I mean is, don't acknowledge it alone. All you're going to do if you acknowledge it alone is like sitting in front of a fire and like throwing propane on a fire, it's going to grow. So what I want you to do is call a friend or ask if you can talk to somebody who's been there before or go in a forum that you know is really safe of other people who are doing what you want to be doing or who are in the same boat as you and say, hey, I just want to talk about what I'm afraid of and maybe you guys can help me work through it. Number one, here's what my fear is. Here's what I'm afraid of risking, here's what I'm afraid of losing. And talk openly about it with people like, yeah, that could happen. But you also know that you could get back on your feet. You also know that you could move back home. You also know that you could get a second job. You also know that you're capable and that you're a survivor. So you could stay where you're at and you could just settle in for the rest of your life saying, hey, I settled for what I knew was settling and what wasn't my highest potential. Or you could risk it and know that you can freaking figure it out, right? Marie Forleo says, everything is figureoutable. So fear is your friend. Number two, fear has so many beautiful messages for you. So a lot of times when we're afraid, it's just because we haven't been there before, or it's bringing up something from our past, or we saw something happen to someone else and we think it's going to happen to us or we don't think we're as strong as we are. It's trying to tell you something. It's just saying, hey, this might need a little bit more attention or hey, you need a little more support around this, right? So sometimes when I'm afraid of something, I'm like, what do I need right now to feel safe? That's a question I always ask myself. What do I need right now to feel safe? What do I need right now to support myself first? So a lot of times the message fear has for me is, you know what, you're gonna do this thing, but maybe you don't have enough support in your life around this yet to feel good about this risk you're about to take. So if I'm about to, huh, let's talk about that. If I'm about to launch this event for everybody and I'm feeling scared, like, are people going to show up? I talk to friends, I literally say, okay, let's talk through this. What's a game plan? What does this look like? Do you think this is good? What should I focus on? What am I doing? And then I make sure that I talk to them about it. Like, is this a good idea? Is this something I should be doing? Okay, I'm going to only focus on those things. Or you guys, I'm gonna do this big talk and I'm really, really freaked out and I'm not sure if I, you know, I have a good message and you know, can I check in with you maybe once a week up until the talk so that I can just stay focused and remember who I am and remember that I'm meant to do this. So that's what I do. I create support systems and I create check ins and I create phone calls, I create check ins with coaches, I create check ins with friends. You guys, I support myself around the fear. So where can you support yourself? And if you're not, that's a choice. So if you're like, I don't know who could do that? Figure out who could do that. I'm sorry, but we all had to. You guys, if you're like, I don't know, you have it better off than me. You have this and you have that, okay? But I didn't at one time and I had to figure this out. And even when I'm doing something new, I don't have my support system set up like I'm doing a totally new venture even outside of this event. I'm starting a new company. I've never done it before. I don't have friends who do what I'm about to do. So I have to go into a world of people who are totally opposite of the world that I've been in. And I have to go and start talking to people about how in the world I have to support myself. And it's freaking me out. So I'm in the same boat once again as all of you. So you have to know it is within your realm to go and talk to people. And if you're like, I'm scared, we all are. And I'm so sorry that you're trying to one up me on your fear, but I'm so sorry, I'm the queen of fear. But for real, you're not more scared than anybo else. And if it makes you feel good to try to one up, then you're just wanting to stay in that boat of paralyzation, of not doing anything. So acknowledge that, let it be, okay? And realize that everyone else is afraid, but they're so sick of staying in the same position they're in. So you might not be there yet, but when you get sick and tired of waking up and not being the person you were, you were sent here to be, that's when your fear, the action of the new thing, will start to outweigh the pain of the fear that you have. So number three, X marks the spot. Your fear is the X that marks the spot to exactly where you need to go. If you're like, I don't know what to do next, I'm really unsure. I'm really afraid. I want you to sit and write down the action that you're most afraid of doing. And that's probably write down the three actions, in fact. Because if one of those is most likely the thing that you need to do in the next week, one of those is probably the thing that you need to start doing in the next week. And what I mean doing, you're like, well, I don't know how to do that. It's such a big thing that I'm so afraid of. I'm afraid of speaking on stages. Okay, then the action, let's work backwards because that's how goals work. So the action would be, how do I connect with someone who could help me to speak on stage? Or how could I connect with someone who could help me launch this business? What are the first steps to doing this? Let me first Google search. Is there anyone who is a business coach for X, Y, And Z, Is there anyone who's ever launched X, Y, and Z? Is there anyone who has, you know, launched these products on Etsy? Let me go and look. Is there programs built around this? Is there a YouTube around it? Okay, how could I connect with this person? Okay, could I talk to this person? You guys, there are steps, if you work backwards that you could all take without even spending a dime. You could start taking the action. And then, of course, there's going to be moments where you're going to have to invest. Where you're going to have to invest. I've never, ever, ever in my life started a business that I haven't had to invest in. And then as it grows, you invest even more. And then as it grows, you invest even more. Until all of a sudden, one day, you're like, okay, I understand that businesses take three to five to seven to 10 years to actually start to be super profitable. And that's what you have to understand is a lot of people are like, I started this business a year ago. It's not profitable yet. All right, well, even if you're at a job for a year, like, you get a small raise, but nothing that you're like, writing home about. So until you've worked at a job for five years, seven years, 10 years, 20 years, that's when maybe you get promoted enough that you feel you're making really, really good money. And then maybe you are at the top of the company, and then maybe sometimes you are. You don't get to go too high in the company because there isn't a spot for you. So there are a million different scenarios that you have to realize that if you want to make really good money, you're going to have to work at it for a long period of time. And when it's your business, you have to take all of the risk, and you have to be willing to get really comfortable with fear. So I'll tell you something about working for yourself or starting. What you want to start is that if you don't get comfortable with fear, you'll never be able to do it, because every step you take is uncertain. Every damn step you take is uncertain. And there is no one there to tell you that you've made a good decision because you're the boss. So you have to decide that you are good with every single outcome that comes from your decision.

2026 is the year that you launch your business. It's the year that you've become the boss. You become the leader. That idea that you have that has been eating at you forever that just will not leave you alone is going to come to life. Maybe it's something that someone tells you you should always sell or a store you've already designed in your head and and with Shopify 2026 is when you finally make it happen. Shopify gives you everything you need to sell online and in person. Millions of entrepreneurs have already made this leap from household name to first time business owners. Just getting started you guys. I use Shopify for glossy and I remember when they sent me my little shopping bag celebrating my 10,000 sales and I literally cried because I was so scared to take the leap. And I'm so glad that I did and that I use Shopify. It gives you all the tool to easily build your dream store. You can choose from hundreds of beautiful templates that you can customize to match. Your brand setup is fast with Shopify's built in AI tools that write product descriptions and headlines and help you edit photos. So marketing is built in too. You can create email and social campaigns that reach customers wherever they scroll. So as you grow, Shopify grows with you. You can handle more orders, expand to new markets and do it all from the Same dashboard in 2026. Stop waiting and start selling with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com happy go to shopify.com happy that shopify.com happy hear your first cha ching this new year with Shopify by your side. Too many people finish their workday feeling frustrated, drained and unfulfilled. I know that. I have experienced that myself. And the good news is it definitely it doesn't have to be this way and you don't need a new job to fix it. Patrick Lencioni, author of the Five Dysfunctions of a Team and more than a dozen other bestsellers, created the Working Genius assessment to help you pinpoint the kind of work that gives you energy, the kind that lights you up, and it also shares the kind that drains it. So over a million people, including me, have taken it and completely changed how I lead and show up and every day. If you're a CEO, an entrepreneur, or someone who just wants to level up in business and in life, working genius is going to give you the clarity and confidence to operate in your strengths and find greater joy in what you do. Because confidence isn't pretending to be good at everything. It's knowing where you're truly gifted. Take the Working Genius assessment today and get 20% off with code Earn at Working Genius. Com that's Working Genius.

Com.

You'll be glad you did it.

And I'll just tell you, no matter what happens, it's all good. You're going to learn from it. No matter what happens, it's all good. Talk to anyone who's lost everything. Majority of them say it's the best thing that has ever happened to them because they learn a lesson that creates a business that is unbreakable the next time. Or that they know that they have financial ability to always create money even if things fail. You guys, fear is so beautiful when it comes in and it makes you feel so damn uncomfortable. It is there because it is trying to get you to become the highest version of yourself. So, guys, I'm so grateful for you. Thank you so much for always listening to this podcast and just sending so much love and sharing and going on and rating and reviewing. I mean, that's what makes this podcast stay alive. You are the heartbeat, and I feel you guys every day, literally, with your love and your energy and how you share this on social media. That's everything. It's everything for a podcast. So if you've gotten value from this, definitely go share it. Just text it to a friend who needs it. And you guys, if you want to join me for event love for five days in this workshop, just having like the most amazing time of our lives and growing and creating skills that are going to help fuel anything you do in your life, I would love, love, love to have you in that room. So go to eventluv.com and join right now because it's gonna be one of the most amazing breakthrough weeks of your life. And if you have fear, that is exactly where you should be. You're gonna break through in one week and it's gonna blow your mind, and you're gonna blow your own damn mind. So you guys, sending so much love and I cannot wait to see you and go ahead and check out the link. At least go check it out. I swear to you, the website is so much fun and so cute, I can't even take it. So even if you're not going, go check out the website because it's gonna make you so happy. All right, you guys, until next time, earn your happy. Bye, everyone.

Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy pocket podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think.

Would love it, that would be absolutely.

Amazing and we would be forever grateful.

Also, please leave us a review if.

You feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment.

Tell us what you think.

Tell us what you want to hear. More of it would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again, guys.

Bye Bye.