415: 3 steps to face your fears and take action with Angie Lee

Hi, everyone. I'm so happy you've tuned into the show. Whether you have listened before or you're brand new, I'm so grateful for you. You have no idea. And this episode is brought to you by my Become Aligned course. And podcasts are amazing. And I know that you know that because you guys all listen to them, and I do, too. And sometimes they are not necessarily enough because while we're listening, sometimes we're passively listening and we're not actively listening. So the reason that Chris and I. Chris is my husband. The reason we've created this course is because we get asked so many questions outside of the podcast on how we started living the life that we live now. A life of happiness, of abundance, of really understanding that life is always full of problems every single day, but there's always a solution. And how do we shift back into a mindset that's going to keep us happy, keep us together, keep us successful, and keep us in thriving relationships? And that is what our, our Become Aligned course is about. You guys, we cover everything from mindset to the rituals that we do every single day. We talk about different energy sources that's really gonna provide you with lasting energy. We talk about your purpose and what that actually means, what it is and how it's ever changing. We're gonna tap into your beliefs, we're gonna show you how to build a tribe to support where you're going. And we're definitely going to talk about wealth, abundance, money, all of the good things, and how to sustain all of this. Because while, like I said, POD are absolutely awesome, you don't necessarily sit down and actually write out a plan for yourself. Because as much as I can sit here and tell you on the podcast, what we do and how much, how many different people that I can interview, it's important that you actually learn how to apply these things in your own life. So if you've been listening for a while and you are ready to go deeper and you really want to get some direct training and be able to dive into your life and yourself and your mindset, this is the course for you. I don't know about you, but I absolutely have points in my life where I don't know where I'm going. I don't know what I'm doing. Sometimes I hit walls where I don't necessarily feel happy anymore, and I haven't sat with myself long enough. I haven't really let myself think. I haven't written out how I actually feel. And so many people who took this course said that it was completely life changing and they revealed a lot of things about themselves, about them, about their. About their relationships that they weren't really looking at or they were avoiding. And it's about having those tough conversations, not only with other people, but really with yourself and knowing that you have the tools and the access to the tools. And we're going to teach you all of the tools that you need not only to move through things, but to actually thrive on the other side. So, you guys, I would love for you to join the aligned community. It's such a special group of human beings and you get lifetime time access. This is nine different modules where you're going to be working through each area of your life at your own pace. So you might need something on abundance, you might need more on, you know, money, you might need more on your purpose on your tribe. This is where you can really go deep on exactly what you need and make sure that you're not missing any of your blind spots if you are feeling stuck or if you are wondering how everyone is doing it and how they're managing it all. This is a truly honest course about how to have a thriving life and manage and deal with all of the different problems that do come up in your life and understand that not everyone is going to support you and not everyone is for you and you are not for everyone. And that's okay. It's finding your people. It's forgiving yourself. It's creating a life of abundance and choosing your own purpose and your happiness. So, you guys, you can go to becomealigned.com that's becomealigned.com and you guys know that because you're listeners, I'm gonna give you an awesome deal and an awesome discount and I cannot wait to see you in that community. And also let me know if you join because it is such an awesome, awesome community. And also I'm really proud of this course. Chris and I poured our heart and our soul into this. Everything that we've done, everything that we've learned, we've invested so much into ourself that this is everything that we have applied in our lives. And if you want to know how we've done it, we put it all on the table. We've put it all in this course. So if you want to know, go check it out@becealigned.com so let's get into the show.

To start before you're ready. That's really one of my favorite concepts to jam on and I think it's so important and I think so many people are waiting until they feel ready and I know Lori will back me up on this. There never will be a day where you actually feel fully prepared.

Welcome to the Earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn, own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me?

Here we go.

Foreign.

Hi everyone.

I'm so happy to have you back. Thank you so much for tuning in to another episode. And on today's show I have somebody that I'm really, really thrilled to share with you. It is a friend of mine who I have had the honor of speaking at her events. She's got an awesome event coming up. But before we dive into this intro of this podcast and talking about all of her amazingness, I want to remind you that I just launch my very first ever event love program with my co collaborator Lindsay Schwartz and we could not be more thrilled. You guys. This has been a literally a life's dream ever since I started facilitating events and ever since I went to a training with Jack Canfield who helped me to be a better speaker, be a better teacher, learn how to facilitate, learn how to run events, learn how to monetize events. And I knew that because there is no longer programs available like this that I have been able to find, I knew that I had to create something. Lindsay and I both had a call that we wanted to help the future transformational leaders. Whether you're, you've already started doing events or whether you want to become the most confident, well spoken, just truly authentic speaker, being able to monetize, being yourself and teaching exactly what it is you're here to teach, but really getting clear on your message and learning how to share your message in a clear way. And we are all about making sure that if you want to run masterminds, run retreats, have your own events, whatever that looks like, we are going to walk you through from start to finish. You're going to understand how to control the energy in a room. You're going to understand how to speak from stage and sell from stage, you're going to understand how to sell your event. You're going to understand how to facilitate life changing transformation. So you guys go to eventluv.com go check that out right now. It is happening sooner than later. You guys, we wanted to make sure.

That we got this out so that.

You were prepared to run any events that you wanted and jump into this dream career that doesn't have to be a hobby. You can get paid and paid very well because we need you. So go to eventluv.com right now to.

Go check it out.

You guys, today on my show I have Angie Lee, who you guys will see we have just always had crazy fun chemistry together. And I have known her for, I think, think over 10 years now. And the second we met, I think that we just ended up talking about anything and everything. And I'm super thrilled because I'm going to be speaking at her event October 4th through the 6th in San Diego. And that's called Pays to be Brave. And Angie Lee is, she started doing thousands of videos, blogs and now she's got podcasts. She's a wellness influencer, serial entrepreneur, a seven figure digital and physical product creator. She's a top 100 ranked podcaster, speaker and seven figure marketing guru. So you guys tune in right now. You're gonna just honestly, this podcast is for anybody with a goal and a vision. And it is all about three ways that we have used and that Angie uses to overcome her fears and step into this highest version of herself. So let's get started.

Angie, I'm so excited you're here. Thank you so much for coming on the show.

I'm so stoked. It's been a year since we've jammed and I can't believe it's been a year since your book's been out. It's incredible. It's crazy.

So, yeah, it is absolutely nuts. I was just telling you, you guys, this is so great. We had a little snafu of recording and then it stopped recording. So we've had this conversation already. But I do want you to know, like, Angie has it on her heart to write a book, which I can't freaking wait for because we were talking about how the ripple effect is like a year after the book comes out. Like, you don't really get to feel the tangible results of your book until later.

It's like, whoa.

You do all this work and then people buy it and then it takes a while to read it, right? I don't know about you, but I have like this Stack of books that I'm like, okay, I bought this last year. Now is the time.

Yeah. You're like, oh yeah, I'll finally read that now. And it's been on your kitchen table in front of you for two years. You're like, oh, this looks great. And it came out years ago.

Friends will send me a book and I'll just, I like consume it right away. I'm like, oh my God, I have to read this one. That's how I feel like yours is going to be. So I can't wait for it to come out.

Let's hope so. Yeah, I'm diving into the unknown with that. But I was telling Lori, you guys, it's similar with events. My event pays you brave where when you create something, whether it's tangible or alive, it's so fascinating to see your community then hang out and become friends without you. It's like you are the mom and you bird these children and then they just go off and do their thing and they fly and it's so surreal. I literally think I need someone to pinch me still. I don't know if you're like this. It's still super surreal to me that last year that room together that were strangers are now best friends or business partners. And I look at this group and I'm like, who did this? Like that was. That's so weird. I put something on and people. It's just so weird.

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You know, Okay. I love that so much because I think that we can pressure ourselves into thinking that we have to do these huge things at different events or in the containers that we hold space. But you really just need to learn how to be like a master space holder, because the magic will happen if you give them the container with, like, the, like the boundaries and directions. And what does that look like? Like the facilitation. So I think people stress themselves so hard over bringing the best content and the best speakers. And I'm like, they never care. Like, they're more. Every time on my survey, Angie, they're more excited about when they get to, like, talk to each other and the times they get to connect than they are about all the other stuff that I stress about. So I'm like, okay, how about we just. They connect more.

And that's such A reminder for anyone listening, Whether it's an IG story, a YouTube video, they want to start, a podcast, people will not remember the details or the perfection. And it's such a good reminder for me when I'm on these calls with my team about the color of the balloons, when it doesn't matter if it's magenta or it's light purple, what really matters is, did we have a good time and did I bring the best? My best Angie and my best self? And women on the forums will say, I just want to go to be in the energy of the room. I just want to be in that energy. I just want to make friends. I'm lonely, and I'm like, oh, that's why they're coming. So it's cool to get that feedback. Yeah. Really? Why we do events, because it's so important for women to actually get off the computer and to actually go touch another human. Right?

Totally.

Yeah.

But if that balloon is magenta, it's just gonna throw them out of there.

Ladies, if you go to Baby Brave and the balloon's not the color you wanted, don't DM me and tell me.

You'Ll have some glasses in, like, a big bucket and just like, yeah.

It's like, oh, it's crazy how we get obsessed with the details because we become perfectionists almost. And I didn't realize I was like that. I'm like, why do I all of a sudden care about details? I usually am so chill and don't care. I think perfectionism comes from. And I would love to hear your thoughts on this. I think it comes from the fear of. There's some sort of fear in there then that they won't love me, they won't like me, it won't be enough. They'll go tell their friends it wasn't good enough. That has to be what it's from.

Million percent. Of course you want to curate a beautiful experience, but we forget. Like, yes, it's about your surroundings, but I don't know about you. Like, I've had some pretty epic, magical experiences, like, in the jungle on the ground. So, like, sitting in a circle with a bunch of. I better clarify what I mean with that.

Chris, will you please come on the show.

With, like, three other people, you know? So I think that's what it's not that you don't want to create an epic experience, but that could be step 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. Once you get that team or whatever that looks like, you can't be an expert in facilitation. And in design of the room and in xyz, your energy will be drained to the point where you won't get to show up the way you want in your actual zone of genius. If you're so concerned about something that is not your zone of genius. So I love that you're talking about that. So, you guys, Angie has an awesome event coming up in October. I got to go last year, and it was. I mean, like, the people there were freaking awesome, and it was so much fun. And it is called Pays to be brave, and it's October 4th through the 6th, and I am so lucky to get to be speaking there again. I can't freaking wait. Like, truly, it was so much fun.

I love what you did last year. It was super cool. It was super brave. It was super brave.

You know, it was really fun. Okay, so it pays to be brave. So I was like, all right. Apparently, they're all about the bravery. So I'm like, barely. And you text me, like, a few.

Days before you're like, hey, girl, can I do this instead? It's the scarier thing that I want to do. Or should I do what I'm supposed to do? I'm like, oh, I'm gonna totally have her do what she's afraid to do. I'm like, do it.

I couldn't believe you came back with do it. Cause myself. Myself was like, okay, just say it. She'll probably say, oh, you know, I don't know. Stick to whatever that might be weird for my event or maybe don't do it or whatever. And you were like, do it. I was like, shit. She said, do it.

Don't ask Angie Lee about.

Oh, God. Really holding true to her whole, like, damn it. To her whole, like, brand. So I did spoken word there and just, like, truly spoke from my heart. It was probably one of the first events where I really. And I don't recommend this unless you've spoken a lot, but where I really just, like, let go and did not plan a lot. Like, I knew I was gonna get to the point of planning my poem or saying the poem, but I was like, I want to go out there and speak on fear. And just what is coming up for me now, if I would have done that three years ago when I wasn't really used to doing, it would have been a shit show. But I knew that I wanted to get to the place of just saying, like, hey, I feel like you right now, no matter what people think I've done before, I literally am putting myself in the place of something so new to me that I feel exactly like all of you right now. If you had to come up on the stage and just talk about something so that was powerful for me to feel them so deeply and resonate so hard you for providing the space for that. Because what people don't know about events is it's not only transformational for the people in the audience, it's transformational for all speakers as well. Like that we're all witnessing each other in the room. And that's what's so powerful about it, is the witnessing of each other. And you held such a beautiful space to be able to do that because you're so open and honest and show up just so vulnerable in that space. And I think that all of the people that you always choose and vet for your stage are all under the same exact feeling, same exact open heart. So that's super exciting. And today we want to share with you guys Angie's three steps to taking massive action and busting through your fears. And I don't know about you, but these are the three things that literally I always need. Because if you're listening to this podcast, you're definitely up leveling. I don't care at what point if you're taking a little leap or you're taking the big leap. These are it always comes back to fear and next level stuff.

I love this. And it's not just for the woman who's starting. This could literally be a woman who's never put her face on IG story and she's promoting her program, her product, coaching, network marketing. This could be your first speech in front of a few hundred people or thirty people. This could be you're writing a book and I'm terrified right now because it's a new world. This could be applicable at any point. And I think it always is something we're going to have to work on. It never really goes away. And these are three things that I love to do, and I think Lori loves to do these too. So we'll jam on how we use these. But number one is I ask myself, am I already in the worst case scenario? And this is super applicable to women in relationships that aren't serving them or jobs that aren't serving them. A lot of times we're so afraid to leave that average relationship or leave the average job because it's cushy and it's safe and it's, we have a 401k and we know what we're getting paid every other Friday. But When I ask women who are afraid to leap and afraid to leave their job, because that's usually who I attract is women who want to quit their job and start a side hustle and monetize what they love, I ask them what would happen if you do and you fail, quote unquote. There really is no failure. But what would happen if, let's say, you don't make money in the first year or two? They always say, well, I would just go back to this job I'm at right now. My boss would probably take me back. It wouldn't be a huge deal. And then they realize what they're saying and they realize they're already in the worst case scenario. And I think it's the same with relationships. I'm not a relationship expert, but I've left a relationship that wasn't amazing and wasn't totally serving me. And I think that was the same thing. I was already in the worst case scenario of not being fully happy and in love, and I was so afraid to leave, but I was already in the shitty place that I was afraid of. We're already sitting in the pain a lot of times, and I think we assume if we jump, we're not going to be in pain, but I think we're actually in worse pain if we don't jump. The second one is where I weigh out the opportunity loss. So I weigh out what will it cost me to not do it more than to actually do it. And most humans are afraid of regret. And most humans, I believe, at the end of our lives are going to. Are going to be more regretful of the things we didn't do than the things that we did do. There was actually a really interesting study where they interviewed people from all different ages, races, all different countries. They interviewed them on their deathbed. This is a study I read a few years ago. It was fascinating. And the one thing they all had in common is they all said that there were so many things they wish they would have done. And it gave me chills to hear that, because people weren't regretting the time they left the job or said no to the thing or said yes to the thing. They were mad and almost upset that they didn't have time left. So if you're listening to this and you're alive, obviously, and you have time left, time is our greatest asset, right? So use it to do what you actually want to do. And I think that a lot of people are so afraid to go to the event or start the podcast or start the company or leave the job. But what they don't realize is because if you don't move, you're already again, you're already in that pain, and you're just going to regret. You're just going to feel the pain of regret more than you are the pain of the action of it. So that's what I do. And then the last one is actually one of my favorites that I do a lot for podcasting and speaking. So if one of you ladies listening to this want to be a podcaster or speaker and put yourself out there, maybe again, this is even Instagram stories or Facebook videos, and it's terrifying. I would say you're very outgoing and extroverted. I'm pretty outgoing and extroverted. I'll talk to a wall. I'm very social. But it doesn't mean that I still don't want to kind of pee and poop my pants before I speak. Right. Like, I'm still a human. And so I do this thing that I didn't realize. Todd Herman coined the alter ego effect, and this is in his book. But I act as if I have another version of myself. And she's super brave, she's super bold. Sometimes I'll give her a name like Sasha, Beyonce, whatever. And she is this bold, tenacious girl who will have the courageous conversation, pick up the phone, she will pitch. She will get up on the stage and act as if she's been there. She'll walk into the room and feel like she's worthy. And that woman is who I have to harness. Even if I feel like I'm acting and faking it for a moment, I have to harness her before I step on stage or before I press record. So that has been really helpful for me. It's almost as if I have two versions of myself, which you're like, is this crazy?

It is crazy.

But it's actually healthy to know that we have these two versions.

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Okay, there is so much goodness and all of that. So I'm going to go back to the first one. Am I already in the worst case scenario? I freaking love that because I have never said that. Here's what I use now I'm going to use use both of these. So am I already in worst case scenario?

Even if for some reason I find that I'm not.

So here's something that I do. So here's what I'm even doing right now with this thing that I want to start. I'm sitting in what I believe is worst case scenario. I'm going to what I think is my picture of worst case scenario. So what I'm afraid of, so what I do is I picture like losing everything and I picture what people will think of me and I picture just like what is the worst possible thing that could happen? Like me really thoroughly screwing up and I meditate on it and I sit in that pain and I'm like, okay, that really sucks. But I also know that I am fully capable of coming back from it. And then I go and sit in what if I don't do it? So what you were talking about on the second one.

And I put those together in like.

A meditation for myself and I sit in that every morning of what could be the worst case scenario. Or like you said, am I already in it? A lot of people are. But then there's, I'm going to be honest. Then there's people like you and I who have a little more to lose. Maybe we've made more money. Maybe we have our businesses, maybe we have these relationships. Maybe we feel like we Have a reputation which is all ego and super messed up anyway, but, like, it's real. You're a human being, so you feel like you might have a little more to lose. And, you know, there's a lot of value in, like, having nothing to lose and being at rock bottom when you're first starting out. So actually, when people are like, I'm at rock bottom, I'm too scared. I'm like, no, that's more valuable.

Yeah, you have literally less to lose.

Exactly. So I'm always, like, weighing out, like, you. Exactly what you said. What's the opportunity?

Loss?

And I sit in it, like, on my deathbed, am I going to be okay with this life every day? Like, am I going to be able to wake up and not feel super on purpose every day? And, like, am I going to be able to find a lot of purpose and passion in the mundane? And if your answer is yes, that's great, too, but I don't think we're speaking to her today.

Yeah. You know, another thing that just came to mind, and I think you've discussed this a few times over the years, and I love this concept of if you have an idea or you have a voice, you have something that you want to get out there, it almost feels like it would kill you for you to not do it, because you want to be the person who executes the idea or the creative idea. And it's almost as if the universe. Who is this. Who talked about this concept where the universe decides to give a few people the opportunity, and then if you don't execute on it, it's on to the next person?

I think it was Plato, I believe.

Who was that? I think so.

I can't remember what it's called, but it's an actual. Whoever is super smart listening to this.

Is laughing, but they're like, oh, God. But it does. And I think it's a healthy motivator. Not to the degree of ego or competition, but to a. I really want to be the person who holds this. I want to be the vessel that does this. Because even the book concept, I sat for a minute and thought of another person writing it, and then going to the bookstore and realizing that she wrote it, and it killed me inside. It really, really hurt me. And I think it was a sign. Like, angie, just do it. Just put it out there. Just do it. Because you want to be the vessel for. Just do it. So I think sometimes that's it as well. For women who are super creative but are afraid to press publish, it's like, just get it out there because someone else is going to eventually, and that's fine.

Million percent will.

Yeah. Again.

And it is.

It's.

It's the theory of how ideas are delivered. And it's like, they're all out there and they're being put on a lot of people's hearts, but it's whoever decides to leap at it first or. And I want to talk about this too. Like, even if it did come out, because there were a lot of books on tribe that were coming out, and then as my book was coming out, people were really talking about it, but you were still. I was still saying it in such a different way that it's like, it's good. Everyone's gonna find their flavor. So even if someone's like, oh, see, this idea did come out or that came out, oh, my God, you guys. How many brands of like, frickin soda are out there that keep coming out on it? What I can't believe, Angie, is I go to Whole Foods, and every time I'm there, there's a new kombucha brand. And guess who wants to try it? Me, because I'm a frickin consumer. So don't forget that the people you're gonna sell to, we love to consume. And one brand of kombucha is not enough for me.

Not enough.

I need all of them.

Oh, man. What about the alter ego effect? Do you do this before you speak? When you're nervous and you're just kind of like in your head versus in your heart, do you ever pretend that you're almost like you're someone else? It's still you, but it's someone braver.

A million percent. I feel like I disappoint people when I meet them because I'm like, oh. I'm like, oh, I'm.

Lori is just as cool in real life. Okay? I promise you.

And like, oh, am I supposed to be super extroverted at this dinner? Because right now I feel like just being really quiet, like, or like, just keeping to myself and I'm like, oh, do you think I'm that person that's always on the podcast and, like, super outgoing? Because it's. You tap into that personality that just pushes that out. And whether you think you have it or not, I didn't necessarily think I. There was a. There's a knowing that you're like, you can. If you can see yourself on stages or you see yourself bigger than you've even spoken to people before. Like, as far as, like, you don't let people know that this person's inside of you. They're in you. They're just waiting to come out. You just. They need the platform and they need the stage and they need the practice. But absolutely, I use that all of the time. Like, before I go on stage, I'm just like. I say a prayer. I'm like, God, take the wheel. Like, let you know, I just want. Let me become the person who can infiltrate their hearts and have them hear what they need to hear. And let me be the biggest, wildest, craziest, most fun version of myself. Because when I'm on stage, I actually ask now for my fun version of myself to come out. I'm like, let me be funny. Let me knock down their walls. Let me. Whatever that looks like. But then I'm like, if that's not how you want me to be, I also let go. So whatever it is, I'm like, let me be big. You know?

I love that. Yeah. I say, just have fun and then let me be the most brave version of myself. What would brave Angie say? Would she crack that joke? Because there's a version of me that's like, God, they won't think it's funny. What if it doesn't land? That's weird. But then the brave version of me is like, just say it. Say the weird thing. And so it's interesting to have those two talking to each other. When you're live on a stage and you can't edit it, it's not like a podcast where you can put the joke back in. Like, damn it, do I either be bold and say it or not? Like, you gotta be quick on your feet and decide in the moment, which makes public speaking really terrifying, but still fun.

Don't you love, like, comedians for that reason? Sometimes before my event, I'll watch comedians because I need to see how fearless they are at going for a joke that could totally flop.

Like, it's like my secret dream career. So if one day you guys are like, what happened to Angie Lee? She became a stand up comedian. But I love them. I think they're so incredible. I love studying them. And I think they're such a sign of courage because they're scared. They're very scared. I don't think they're fearless at all. I think they've rehearsed a lot, so I think there's value in knowing that that wasn't just a random witty joke on their feet. That was extremely rehearsed. So that's something to keep in mind for these ladies. Listening is that to decrease fear, you have to increase preparation. So be prepared. Show up prepared. Don't just. There's a level of winging it, but there's also a level of.

No, absolutely. Like, okay, so even when I was saying that's why I was like, I don't even know if I want to share that about. Like, I use that event to just kind of, like, come out and speak. I had been speaking and using my podcast and, like, knowing full faith that even I had a bit of an outline in my head of where to go. But, like, preparation for me, no matter what, is the only way for me to feel more solid. But also just massive action. Asking what I need in that moment. That's another huge one. I'm like, if I can't. If I can't seem to, like, get a grip, if I'm freaking out, I'm like, okay, well, what do you need to feel safe right now? And a lot of times the answer is like, I need to talk to a friend. Like, someone who's doing this right now. Like, I need to call Angie to see if she feels this way. Yeah. I need to just say, is this normal right now? Like, a lot of times we just want to hear, is this normal? And you're like, yeah, hell yeah, it's normal. Like, we're all freaking out. Oh, my God, that's so true.

Is this normal? I love that we feel like we're all human and we're in this together. It's like imposter syndrome. I don't think it ever really fully goes away. They say that Oprah, minutes before they press, go live or they're on air, she'll still say sometimes, like, what am I doing? Like, it's almost like, who am I to be doing this? It's like this real moment, and they're like, oh, yeah, get back into my body. This is me. I can do this. I'm available for this. I can hold this space. And. And you almost have to give yourself that reality check. I think as your brand grows, I think you even feel. I don't know, I think more imposter syndrome comes on because you have this sense of that you have to be perfect or that they see you in this light when you see yourself. And I see myself as just the regular weird, nerdy girl who's not cool. So it's, like, really matching up all of that. It can be crazy. So especially for you ladies listening who are thinking, like, who am I to be a coach? Or who am I to sell These products online, I think realizing that I don't love fake it till you make it, but I do love embodying the most bold version of you as soon as you can and as much as you can, because eventually she becomes the primary in your body because it never goes away. I don't think you're ever like, I'm amazing. And now I'm gonna go sell shit. Like. Like, I don't think that's what happens. Even me. I'm like, oh, my God, what if this is a stupid idea for this event? But then it's like, thousand people already signed up. I'm like, why are you signed up? Right? So it's like this weird part of me that 50% is like, this is gonna be great. I'm the best. Then the other part of you is like, oh, my God, you can't do this. And I think that fear Gremlin conversation is just so, so fascinating.

Okay, so let's talk about that a little bit, because I think so. I think there's fear, but then I think there's the feeders of fear. So they're like, oh, I'm just scared because I haven't done this before and I could fail. But there's a million things that go into. Into that, like the different feeders. And I think that what we're feeding is an actual habit of. Of comparison and of jealousy and of going back to our failures or of playing a story in our head of what people making up a story, right? So for a lot of people that you hear, because I know we get so much feedback on a daily basis from people of they want to do what we're doing, but they're afraid to be doing X, Y, and Z, whatever the hell that is, or something similar to what we're doing. And a lot of what is stopping them when you get granular is like. Like, comparison, jealousy. It's all been done before, whatever that is. So talking about that as it's a habit, right? It's a habit to go on Instagram and go compare yourself. It's a habit to go and be jealous of your friend who might be doing a little better than you right now because she did something more, whatever that looks like, or it's her time. So what do you say to those women?

Two things come to mind immediately. One, I think that comparison is now in jealousy, or feeling like I want that girl's life is now. One, I actually think it's a beautiful representation of what's possible. So if I see a woman crushing It. And I'm sure this happened even with your book. They're like, I want to write a book and I want it to do well. And that there's that feeling. But then it's like, if she can do it, I can do it too. We're the same human. So she's leading the way and she's showing what's possible. So now if I'm scrolling and I'll try not to get into this habit, but I'm still human and this will happen. I'm like, damn it, I want that or I want that life or why can I have that one? It's giving myself a reality check that sometimes I'm not. I'm not ready to be that woman yet, to execute that. And I need to go through some more failures or I need to go through some years of life. A lot of times it's people 10 years older than me. Of course they figured that out. They're a lot. They've had more time on this earth. So being kind to myself and saying, hey, it's just a time issue. It's a haven't failed enough issue. It's a, if she's doing it, of course it's possible for you then. And I actually love seeing women crush it and have things that I want. I'm like, that's cool. I want to see my book in Walmart one day. So if she's seen her book in Walmart, I can't wait for that moment too. May not be for another five years, but it's showing us what's possible. And then I also love to do a healthy reality check of do I actually want her lifestyle? Do I want her life? And we don't really know what it's like. And I think you and I have jammed on this with even public speaking. People see people speaking all the time, every weekend and think that it's the life, but. But we don't see the realities of that energy investment and the time investment and what that lifestyle would look like. So whenever you gals are scrolling, if it's Lori, me, anybody else you're even looking at, what you want in life may not be what we want, and that's okay. And I don't think we're all supposed to have the same lifestyle. That's something I kind of do do. Just that's something I do as well. Just to get myself back to a grounded place of like, okay, focus on you, Blinders on. Don't waste time thinking about what she's doing, because it's not worth your time.

It's so not worth your time. It's like, so what are some things that you would do or help someone with when they're stuck in the scroll in the comparison? Like go something different. Do you say something quick to yourself? Because I think for me, what's really powerful is I literally do everything that you just said to a T. Which you guys, if you're listening to this, like, when I had asked Angie if she has three steps of, like, you know, taking action and breaking through fear, and she named them, and I was like, holy shit. I do the same thing. Because there are tried and true things that work. And I'll tell you, the more conversations I have. And Angie, I know you know this from your podcast and just from, you know, like, when you up level the group of people you hang out with, like, success obviously leaves clues and there's a path. It's look a little different, but there's gonna be things that I'm like, I do that. I say that we do this. Oh, my God. That's what I figured out. Oh, my goodness. That's how I have to look at it. So everything that she said is everything that I do. So if you can get this on lockdown, it's pretty much gonna for sure work for you because you're a human. And I do think that there are historical truths, and you can't change a truth. It's a truth. So I do believe that these are, like, historical truths for people. So you calling it here? Making history, Angie. Historical truth dot com.

Historical truth dot com. Someone's gonna go buy that. But it's also, which. I know this word is so overused in the personal development world. I feel like the hot words right now are like, abundance holding space. Right? Especially down here in San Diego. But I actually just got a tattoo of an ampersand, so it's an and sign. And it's a good reminder for me, especially as a creator, too, to remember that just because I'll give you guys a very tangible example. Just because, let's say 500,000 or a million people buy Lori's book doesn't mean that they're not also going to go buy mine or someone else's who's in that same field of personal development for females. And it's weird that our brain thinks, well, if they're going to go buy one thing, they can't go to another. Right? You have an event, I have an event. They can actually go to both. They should go to both because they're very different in great ways. You have things I can't provide there. And it's really interesting when you get to that point when you realize there's millions of humans who need our help and we actually only need a very small, small part of the market to actually monetize or to make it full time. So why are we even worried about this lack of abundance? We can all buy everybody's book and go to everyone's events and it isn't an either or. And that was huge for me is taking out the or. Number two is I consume more than I create. So I have this commitment to myself every day that if I'm going to make an IG post or do IG stories, I need to get those done before I'm consuming a bunch of other people's. Because what happens is, next thing you know, it's 3pm and I feel like a piece of poop because Cheryl did 8 million stories about something cool and I didn't. And I'm like, ah, I'm sitting on my couch eating, damn you, Cheryl.

Damn Cheryl.

I'm here eating my potato chips. So. So I feel like, create more than you consume. I say create three to four times more than you consume. Ideally, especially in the beginning, be in that creation zone. And then this may sound a little taboo, but I think it's healthy to go in seasons where you unsubscribe from people who make you feel that way. And so, like email lists, I'll just go through and be like, clean up, clean up, cleanup. Because if I'm constantly hearing about creative ideas of other things and I'll think, oh my God, I have to go do that. And especially if you are writing a book, they'll say, like, don't read a lot of books in that genre for a bit. You can go back and read them whenever you want, but just for that year that you're writing it. Just don't read any.

Yes.

Cara Laba, my friend who you know as well, Caroleba, told me this and she was like, don't read books for a while. I'm like, what do you mean? I love books. She's like, just don't. Because you're gonna feel like you're, you know, have the words come through you always and just have a clean slate. So I'm just kind of resetting a clean slate. And I think a lot of girls do need to unsubscribe from people that make them feel like a piece of poop. If you're following Sharon, who has a Six pack and six kids and she lives in Hawaii. Well, just don't follow her for a bit because she's great and all, but maybe you just need two months to, like, realize that you're enough and not see Sharon in her six pack and her six kids every day, you know? And it's all probably edited anyway. Those are fake children and fake abs. Okay, but you know what I mean, Like, Instagram is like, these models all day long. You're just like, oh, man, oh, man.

The double sixer will get you every time.

It's so true. But it's all. A lot of it is edited. So, ladies, it really is, like.

Because I'm just like, no, this takes so much work. So you have to decide what you want to be. Like, I love that. Decide what you want to be. Decide who you want to follow. Decide where you want your energy to go. That's been so huge for me because there's the whole. There's a million different trains, right? It's like, go on people's stuff. Make sure you're commenting, make sure you're supporting. This is going to be a great idea. And then you're like, wait, maybe this is bad for me for the season that I'm in. So I do think it's gonna be like. Like you said, like, massive pivots. Maybe it's gonna be for a little while. You have to do that. If you are. Here's the deal. I feel like if you're feeling confused and you're feeling lost, there's obviously something wrong with what you're doing right now. So even just try the opposite to get a different result. So I think sometimes people are like, I don't know what to do. And I'm like, just do the opposite. Then if you are like a crossfitter, go do yoga. Like, if you are consuming a bunch of fitness people right now or a bunch of business women or people who have events, please only consume other people or stay off that. Like, I was talking about, like, when I wanted inspiration, I was like, I don't want inspiration from people in this genre because I feel too much like I need to be. It's funny. I'm like, oh, my God, I can't look at Marie Forleo or Gabby Bernstein or Danielle laporte. For a while, while I was writing my book or doing, like, some speaking stuff, because they inspire me so much that I didn't want to feel, I found that I was like, oh, I need to be them in order to do this. So I had to kind of watch that for a while and totally pivot and do, like, the comedians and the totally different genre and what actresses and what poets and like, why? Because I wanted to, like, really experience a totally different side of myself that made me start thinking more and someone who I was less likely to compare myself to and be inspired by. So you have to take big, big pivots in what you're doing if you're feeling like, okay, this got me to where I need to be to begin, like, to start the thing or to get the thing where I need. But now if it's making you feel bad, doesn't make them bad at all, you'll go back to them, I'm sure. Or if not, you'll go to something different. But that's so important to say because there are people who have told me, and I know, probably even for you, they're like, I've had to stop watching you because I felt so bad for a while. And I'm like, great, go consume someone else. You know, it's a weird place to be when you hear it. But then it's also like, I totally get it. Totally get it.

Yeah. I had this conversation with a friend the other day, and I was like, oh, my God. There's this moment of, I need to be Brene Brown then. Because my message is about fear and courage, and it's like, no, I don't. My job on this planet is not to go beat Brene Brown, who's like 20 years older than me. Amazing. I love her, but that's not my job here. Am I supposed to just duplicate what she's doing? No. It's my story of courage and my story of bravery and a different generation and a different human's perspective of it. And my goal is to be the best Angie Lee that I can be before I die. I mean, that's really your goal as well, to be the best Lori. Harder you can be. And I don't. I wouldn't. I would hate for a girl to think that then she has to write her book like mine, and it's just. It becomes this really vicious trap of everyone's basically creating the same content and then nothing's original. And I think being a creative is about really getting the downloads from wherever it comes through. And I don't know about you, but most of my posts that do the best, my content that does the best, is the ones that was just purely a download while I was in yoga on a walk. I create actually all my content on walks. And I just Voice it to myself in my notepad. And that's when it feels good. It feels genuine, it feels authentic. And then I don't feel like anyone else posted about this. And it just feels good. And it converts better, too. So I think the energetics behind your post is really important, ladies, because I get this question on Instagram and content. It should come from your heart and feel like it's something you have to get out there and the post will do better. If you feel like you're creating that post because it's trendy or because another fitness coach created it, then it's probably not going to do well because you're not. The energetics behind the post is not there.

Oh, man, I'm so glad you said because. And we are going to have our posts, right? That, like, you just need to get content out. But I do love. That's what I do too. I put it in my notes section. I'm like, oh, I got to post about that. So I will always be. Because you need to. Otherwise you go to sit down. I sit to go record, you know, a couple podcasts every week. I'm like, I don't know what to say. So now I have to get that while I'm inspired or in inspiration. If you guys are like, I'm just not getting inspiration, then you probably need to switch up some energy in your life. You got to totally go mix up that energy. Because when I'm not inspired, it's because I'm doing the same damn thing all the time. And basically it's just about getting new perspective in your life because you're looking at the same thing the same way every day. So you got to go get a new angle. Whether that's a new workout or a new group of friends or whatever it is. Like, a new angle will bring so much new perspective, which will inspire you to talk about it. So, okay, so we have our three steps, which are frickin awesome, but I wanna wrap up number one. I want to make sure people know how to get to your event.

You get on a plane or a.

Train or how do you get there?

You jump in your car, a scooter, a wagon, a horse. You guys can go to paisigrave.com, snag a ticket. You guys can use the code Lori for $100 off tickets. My team just activated that this morning. So Lori for $100 off tickets, come see Lori, me, all the and all the other amazing speakers. And it's going to be a blast in gorgeous San Diego. So if you Gals have never been to San Diego. It's like a little slice of heaven, so you're gonna love it.

Oh, God. I mean, the fact that the event is there, it's kind of like, come to San Diego and there's this event.

I know. It's literally like. Like the best energy. It's so calm. It's so clean. It's a very creative energy, too. So it's just a nice little getaway, especially for you moms who maybe live in the Midwest, and you just need to get away from, you know, crazy husband and kids.

We have lived in the Midwest, and you can get some really great weather. It's, like, so freaking dreamy. Okay, what's one last thing that you want to leave everybody with? Just around becoming the highest version of yourself, going after your dream.

Oh.

Not caring what other people think. That's what I want to hear about.

Ooh, That's. I didn't even. I didn't even realize we would riff on that day. And then it turned into not giving a shit about what other people think. But I guess my closing remark would be to start before you're ready. That's really one of my favorite concepts to jam on. And I think it's so important, and I think so many people are waiting until they feel ready. And I know Lori will back me up on this. There never will be a day where you actually feel fully prepared. So you do your best. Best. You'll bring your bravest version of yourself. But I wasn't ready to host events, and then I hosted events. I just Googled it. I think I text you and Chris, I'm like, hey, get some pointers. And then you guys were awesome and totally gave me feedback. And then I hired a planner and just kind of figured it out along the way. And I think whatever you ladies are doing, it's not like you're an expert at something and then you do it, and you just have to find out in the process, and you just have to get a little messy with it. So that would be my message to you today. If you're listening to this and you feel like you need to wait or put it off, you have to start before it feels completely ready.

Amen. So true. Okay, you guys, if you love this episode, make sure you text it to a friend right now. And definitely, definitely tag Angie and share on stories, what your biggest takeaway was, and, of course, if you are coming to the event and to get your tickets. It's all in the show notes, you guys, so you can just head on over there. And until next time, earn your happy. Bye everyone. Toodles.

Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the Earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment. Tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again guys.

Bye Bye.