421: Managing relationships, starting a company and PR with Jen Proctor

Hi, everyone. I'm so happy you've tuned into the show. Whether you have listened before or you're brand new, I'm so grateful for you. You have no idea. And this episode is brought to you by my Become Aligned course. And podcasts are amazing. And I know that you know that because you guys all listen to them, and I do, too. And sometimes they are not necessarily enough because while we're listening, sometimes we're passively listening and we're not actively listening. So the reason that Chris and I. Chris is my husband. The reason we've created this course is because we get asked so many questions outside of the podcast on how we started living the life that we live now. A life of happiness, of abundance, of really understanding that life is always full of problems every single day, but there's always a solution. And how do we shift back into a mindset that's going to keep us happy, keep us together, keep us successful, and keep us in thriving relationships? And that is what our, our Become Aligned course is about. You guys, we cover everything from mindset to the rituals that we do every single day. We talk about different energy sources that's really gonna provide you with lasting energy. We talk about your purpose and what that actually means, what it is and how it's ever changing. We're gonna tap into your beliefs, we're gonna show you how to build a tribe to support where you're going. And we're definitely going to talk about wealth, abundance, money, all of the good things, and how to sustain all of this. Because while, like I said, POD are absolutely awesome, you don't necessarily sit down and actually write out a plan for yourself. Because as much as I can sit here and tell you on the podcast, what we do and how much, how many different people that I can interview, it's important that you actually learn how to apply these things in your own life. So if you've been listening for a while and you are ready to go deeper and you really want to get some direct training and be able to dive into your life and yourself and your mindset, this is the course for you. I don't know about you, but I absolutely have points in my life where I don't know where I'm going. I don't know what I'm doing. Sometimes I hit walls where I don't necessarily feel happy anymore, and I haven't sat with myself long enough. I haven't really let myself think. I haven't written out how I actually feel. And so many people who took this course said that it was completely life changing and they revealed a lot of things about themselves, about them, about their. About their relationships that they weren't really looking at or they were avoiding. And it's about having those tough conversations, not only with other people, but really with yourself and knowing that you have the tools and the access to the tools. And we're going to teach you all of the tools that you need not only to move through things, but to actually thrive on the other side. So, you guys, I would love for you to join the aligned community. It's such a special group of human beings and you get lifetime time access. This is nine different modules where you're going to be working through each area of your life at your own pace. So you might need something on abundance, you might need more on, you know, money, you might need more on your purpose on your tribe. This is where you can really go deep on exactly what you need and make sure that you're not missing any of your blind spots. If you are feeling stuck or if you are wondering how everyone is doing it and how they're managing it all. This is a truly honest course about how to have a thriving life and manage and deal with all of the different problems that do come up in your life and understand that not everyone is going to support you and not everyone is for you and you are not for everyone. And that's okay. It's finding your people, it's forgiving yourself. It's creating a life of abundance and choosing your own purpose and your happiness. So, you guys, you can go to becomealigned.com that's becomealigned.com and you guys know that because you're listeners, I'm gonna give you an awesome deal and an awesome discount and I cannot wait to see you in that community. And also let me know if you join because it is such an awesome, awesome community. And also I'm really proud of this course. Chris and I poured our heart and our soul into this. Everything that we've done, everything that we've learned, we've invested so much into ourself that this is everything that we have applied in our lives. And if you want to know how we've done it, we put it all on the table. We've put it all in this course. So if you want to know, go check it out@becealigned.com so let's get into the show.

Remove yourself for whatever short amount of time something clicks and it just, it shifts from I want to get out of this to like, okay, I'm here, I'm in it. I'm really grateful, I'm really present. I've worked really hard to be here and I deserve to take this little break or do whatever it is I'm doing for myself.

Welcome to the earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves, get ready to earn, own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go.

Foreign.

Welcome back to the podcast. Thank you so much for tuning in. If it's your first time, it means the world to me that you found this podcast and I hope that you love this conversation. My guest today is Jen Proctor. She is the founder and CEO of Cultivated Entertainment, which is a full service talent consulting firm that connects entertainment entities and brands with talent across campaigns, media events and more. And Jen's immense knowledge and understanding of talent and the entertainment industry is a culmination of all of her work experience. Prior to the launch of Cultivated, just before launching the company, she was the head of talent for Embassy Row, Sony Pictures Television's TV and digital production company. There she oversaw the the development and booking of talent for all productions from inception to completion. She's also held roles as head of talent for cable network's Daily Talk, was an entertainment field producer for Fox News, and worked on the talent representation side on the booking desks of CAA and icm. You guys, we spoke so much about how to step into your dreams. Building a company, managing people, managing yourself, self love. We pretty much covered it all. If you are a human and you want to lead a bigger life and basically become the woman that you know that you want to be. So, you guys, let's get started. Jen, I'm so excited to have you on the podcast. Thank you for coming on.

Yeah, thank you for having me on. This has been a long time coming.

I know. I don't really know what happened. We had, we had some stuff scheduled and then, you know, life happens and now it's the divine timing of everything of you being. It's perfect.

Yep, yep. We're two very busy ladies and we, we Made it happen. So here we are.

Yes. Well, I'm so excited because I love talking to female entrepreneurs, because even just saying that word to me is so powerful, because I think anyone who started a business, there's always this amazing backstory of someone who they had to believe they could become in order to even do what they're doing, because it does take such courage and tenac. And belief that, you know, is off of nothing, really. Faith in creating something that did not exist before. So before we jump into that, I would love to know just where you grew up. Like, how were you raised? What were a couple of the key moments that you think really shaped who you are?

Yeah, I was born and raised in Southern California. I have a really, really incredible family, all of which are in Southern California, which is insane. Not a single rel anywhere outside. So, you know, we spent a lot of time together, and I think, you know, family and values, that. That was really instilled within me very, very young. I lost my mother at 13, which I think also was a big part of my independence and the way that I relate to people and have compassion for people. And it just really. I had to grow up very quickly and take on a lot of responsibility, both while she was alive and then after she passed. And so I think that also was, you know, a big, you know, laying the groundwork for who I am today.

13 is that age where it's.

It's.

It's like you're. You're starting to feel like an adult, but you're absolutely not yet. I can't imagine what that was like, having to grow up. So was your.

Did you. You.

Were you still in the house with your dad?

Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah. I mean, and I. And I, you know, thank goodness for my amazing father, but he was also an entrepreneur, so, you know, and he had three children. He suddenly had to figure out how to take care of, and he worked a lot, as he should, and we never wanted for anything. We really had a wonderful life in terms of education and food and shelter and those types of things. But it was really hard. I mean, I didn't have anyone to talk about my first kiss or what dress should I wear to prom or just any boy problems. I mean, any of that. Girlfriend friends, when you're fighting with your girlfriends, so. But, you know, I think that everything happens for a reason, and that's a big part of who I am now and sort of, you know, the platform and one of the core values that I believe in my business and my personal life is this you know, everybody has a story, everybody has something that they've been through. And you know, these situations really make us who we are. You know, sometimes we feel like they isolate us from others. But in fact they can help bring you together with people.

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So what is it that you. So tell me what you're doing now in your business or what, what business that you have. Yeah, and I would point that came about like, was there something before that or was this always the dream?

Yeah, there was quite a bit. As a young girl, I was a singer. Everybody knew me as the singer. I, you know, I, yeah, I was in every production. I sang at everyone's, you know, every family gathering. I performed all over the state and the country, you know, professionally and competitively. And so I was going to be like the next Britney Spears, you know, that, that was, that was what was going to happen. And I had a couple really, really amazing opportunities with a couple record labels while I was in college and they didn't work out. And looking back, it really was because I didn't have a good team of people around me. And the entertainment industry, like a lot of industries is very fickle. And I just remember feeling very isolated and alone, like nobody had my back and this was my dream. And people just dismissed it like it was no big deal. And at that point in time, I think something clicked in my head and I, I really want to be a good person in this entertainment industry. And I was going to school for broadcast journalism. So, you know, singer, news anchor, they're kind of similar. I'm not afraid of a microphone. We'll just say that. And you know, upon graduating college, it was one of those things, like I needed to move to, you know, teeny tiny town, Oregon, you know, population 10, and start my career there. And I just, you know, I wanted to be in the big city, so I moved to New York. I started my career in the entertainment industry. And I've had a lot of different jobs, you know, on the TV side, on the music side, but all within the entertainment industry. And I just came to a point about three years ago. I had a very lucrative, amazing career with a Sony subsidiary. Subsidiary where I was the head of talent. And it was one of those things where I thought I could make way more money and do less. You know, at the time I thought do less. Although, you know, we'll, we'll get into that later. As an entrepreneur, I.

But.

And it just, it just made sense and I just wanted to be my own boss. I was confident in what I could do. I had no idea how I was going to get there or what the first step was, but I did it and here I am. So now my company is called Cultivated Entertainment. And we. I always explain the business like it's a wheel. So at the center of that wheel is talent. So 99% of the time that's celebrities. It's musicians, athletes, actors, actresses. And then all the little spokes on the wheel are all the services that we provide. So we do a lot of talent booking, like for late night shows and talk shows. We do a lot of talent producing, we do casting, we do alignment with brands or events. So if you go, you buy a ticket to go attend an event and there's speakers there, we do that. We do a lot of different things and we've carved a really unique, unique space in the industry where there's really no one else doing all the things that we're doing.

So what from somebody who's not necessarily in that, what exactly makes you unique? I know that you said you're doing things that most people aren't doing, but what, what are most people doing and what are you doing that's different?

Yeah, well, I think there's all. There's been these set norms in the entertainment industry where there's talent casting agencies and talent booking agencies and this day, and the concept of talent and celebrity is so much more attainable. You know, people have social media, there's a lot more platforms and opportunities for, you know, even smaller brands to align with, whether it's an influencer or a celebrity. And everything that we do is based on relationships. And that's because of, you know, my career and my, you know, big executives careers that they've had. It's all about relationships. So while, you know, you could reach out to X, Y or Z agent and say, we want LeBron James to do this project, that agent doesn't know you from Adam or know that your money is good or your project is good or your brand is good. And so bringing someone like us in, we have those relationships with the agents and managers and the talent and they know that whatever we're bringing them, it's a good project and that we're going to get everybody the best deal possible, whether that's monetary or PR or there's some other form of incentive. So that's kind of what. And we do a lot of different things. You know, it's in the branding space, in the marketing space and the campaign space and the TV space and the event space. Whereas, you know, companies of the past have just done one, you know, this, that or the other. We're really full circle, doing all of them.

Does that ever get overwhelming, like where you're like, oh yeah, there's so much going on. So how do you. So I think in any business when you are trying to venture into, you know, doing something different, obviously there's probably a lot of uncharted territory. What does that look like when you're like, yes, we want to set ourselves apart, but this is completely uncharted territory. Territory. Like, do you have those oh shit moments of like, yeah, did I take on too much? Or what does this look like?

Yeah, it's a, it's a hard thing. And I think when you're, when you're a service based industry, you know, sometimes it's very, very hard to prove yourself in the. Or it's, you have to get in the door to prove yourself. People don't understand why they need your service until they see it in action. And so that is a big part of us is like, okay, well let's figure out this really easy deal in the beginning, you know, in terms of money and compensation and you know, and it's a ton of work for us and then we get our foot in the door and then, you know, the goal is that at least leads to a longer relationship. But you know, like any business, it's even if you have a product, you know, you have to give product away to influencers or, you know, if you want to like get buzz about your product. So I think that's the thing for us is, and me especially, as our business has been scaling quite massively over the last six months to a year, is trying to weigh that, you know, without knowing what the outcome is going to be, but really kind of sitting with it for a second and saying, okay, if we do this, how much time and energy is this going to take? And is the payoff, you know, whether monetary or otherwise, going to be worth it? And that's a constant struggle. You know, it's, it's a big Part of the every day in my business and I think with every entrepreneur. But.

So I want to go back to just, just the point where you were talking about before this dream launched and when you we're kind of at the realization of the other dream. You were talking about the other dream of you singing and being the next Britney Spears where that actually died. Because I think it's happening all the time to people whether it's your dream of being the next Britney Spears or whether you're dreaming of being a best selling author and you're realizing that maybe it's not the way that you want to go or maybe you're realizing that the book is not going to hit that or your program is not going to get out the way that you wanted. There's that moment where it's like, then why the hell am I here and what am I doing? So how do you let go of one thing knowing and we don't know, right? Like how do we create a belief that that was for the next season a reason?

Yeah, well, I think that's a big part of it. I mean, I don't think I've fully given up on that. I think I make a joke with my friends that when I retire I'm going to spend Thursday nights in a smoky lounge singing at a James Songs or something like so you. So that dream is not completely gone. But I'm at the point where, had I not gone through that experience, I one would not understand what it's like to be the talent. So I was on the other side of the coin, which is a really, really big understanding in my business. A lot of business people, they're just number crunchers and they're not on the creative end. And I think that's really an advantage and I really, really appreciate that part of it. And I also think that being a performer and being a singer created this, you know, confidence and eloquence and just ability to go into a room and sell something or you know, write something really wonderfully and passionate. And so yeah, I mean, I think that it's not about giving up on a dream. I think it's about looking at that dream and looking at the lessons that you've learned and the way that it's changed you and transformed you and propelled you to where you are today.

It's like transforming the dream and pulling it through. I think of that all the time, of how much, like so many people who have done past things. I was actually just on another podcast with a singer. It was so funny I guess this is my day for singers. Yeah, but really talking about how she's brought all of those things into her business, which I'm sure that you've done the same exact thing, like you said that, you know, pulling that confidence through of like, oh, my God, I have to go on a stage and like, really make myself shine in order for people to hear this. So how do you help your people, you know, your clients maybe, who aren't necessarily shining as brightly as, you know, they can, or for people to see them. Is there anything that you, you know, do you, like, judge up their resume or do you tell them they need to be more of a certain way, or do you know what I'm saying? Like, how do you get them to shine more for these people that you're putting them in front of?

Yeah, I think for me, because my, my clients are so diverse, you know, and just in types of client, I think, I think the biggest thing that I find is having, you know, I call them like a come to Jesus moments. But, you know, like, like, you know, sitting across the table from someone and just being able to say, look, I know that you want X, Y or Z to happen, but, like, here's why, you know, here's why that's not going to happen. But, like, here's what can happen, you know, in dealing with my clients, everybody wants, you know, Brad Pitt and LeBron James and these giant, giant names, but they may not have an understanding as to why it is exactly that they want that person to be a part of something. And so for me, it's about diving in and drilling in and understanding, okay, what is it about this person that you want? Is it their massive social media following? Is it, you know, their relation with a certain demographic? Is it a sport that they play, like, whatever it might be? And then helping them understand that, like, that is not the end all, be all. There's so much out there, and I think that sometimes those are really tough conversations to have and to have them confidently. And so I think that's. That's probably a way that my performer skills have come across us.

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That just runs parallel to so many things like flipping it and asking why do we actually want this goal? Like is it because we want a following or is it because it's actually gonna make us feel good?

Yes, exactly. Yeah. And I think sometimes people actually don't even think about that, you know, and it could be, it could be anyone, any business that you're running, anything that you're doing, any goal that you're setting, you know, you have to. To consciously, like, you know, setting a goal is great, but actually wrap your mind around what it is about that goal that is appealing to you, and what are you gonna get out of that journey and then finally reaching that goal?

Oh, I love that. My husband and I always say, play it to the end. Play it to the end. So every decision, we're like, play it all the way through to the end. All the way through to the. You know, people think they wanna wake up and have some explosion of. And I'll just use, you know, for instance, like, Instagram. They would love to wake up to an explosion of like, oh, my God, I got a hundred thousand people overnight or a million people overnight or whatever that that vision is that you would love something to go viral or something. And I'm like, do you really want that? Because think of your DMs and all of those nasty messages and are you a person who's prepared enough? Who's prepared and, like, can actually handle the scrutiny that comes with that? And I think we forget to play. We forget, right? We forget to play things to the end. So what is something right now that you are most excited about?

Well, we have a ton of things going on right now. We're doing Dave, David Spade, who I'm sure a lot of people know, he has a new Comedy Central show that we're a big part of, and we're there. Yeah. So, so fun. He's amazing. It's gonna be just an incredible, incredible show. We just did this past weekend. We did the Arties, which are the Disney Awards, which was an insane live show. We're working with a couple nonprofit organizations, one called thinkful.org, and another called doSomething.org and just working with them to help align people with their campaigns and spread the word about a lot of the good things that they're doing. And then we always have a lot of very exciting secret projects that, you know, maybe we could share in our next. Our next episode.

So are you. Do you. Do you sit and say, these are people that I want to work with? And do you go and cultivate those relationships? Like, how does a David Spade or a Disney. Like, how does that come about for you?

Yeah, it's a little bit of both. You know, a lot of it is word of mouth, and I think, like, referral business is the best possible business that you could have. I mean, obviously, going out there and chasing After a client and landing a client is amazing. And there's, you know, there's a. There's something that really set. That sets a fire, you know, inside of you in a different way. But. But I think that again, my number one, number one, number one thing is relationships, and that's across the board in your personal and your professional life. And I think that if you do something and you do it well, if that person tells one or two people, then it's just gonna keep bringing in this steady stream of new business and clients and people that you wanna work with. Sometimes you get a new client that you chased after and you think, think, oh, gosh, like, this is not what I thought, or they are not who I thought, you know, and so I really like having referral business because I know that it's going to be something really cool and I know that there's people a part of it that, you know, are on brand, for lack of a better term, with us and who we are and what we're passionate about.

So for your referral business, do you specifically, you know, with the clients you're working with, are you like, you know, we love referral business, or do you just. Just attempt to go so over the top in service that they want to refer, or do you do both?

Yeah, yeah, I think both. You know, I wouldn't say it's over the top. I think that's just who we are and what we do. I think beyond working really, really hard and always delivering, and I can sit here and tell you right now, I've never, never not delivered on something, you know, knock on wood. But, you know, I think that we're also just fun people. And I think that's really, really important for my business. And really any business is that beyond working with people. You know, maybe you want to go and get a drink or get some lunch or, you know, take a trip together and really have authentic relationships that go outside of the business norm. And, you know, we and my team, I mean, that's really a big part of who we are. And what we do is create these true, authentic relationships with everyone that we work with.

So I think, you know, I. I'm sure there are a few people listening, and I know that I used to listen to this about relationships and connections, and I would get super overwhelmed because I'm already a busy person and thinking that I have to create all these relationships and go to lunch and go to drinks with people. Especially being, you know, someone who likes to be healthy, I'm like, I don't want to drink all the time. I don't want to go to lunch all the time. But what are. What's some advice around that for people who are. You know, I talked to so many moms who are like, how am I ever going to build this business and build these relationships if I don't have this time? Because I do think it can get misconstrued on. While I do think that's important, it's like, do we have to be constantly, you know, connecting with people in that way?

Yeah, I think it's very much ebbs and flows. You know, I think that the number one thing is that you have to put yourself first. You know, it's like the airplane. You got to put the oxygen mask on yourself. And so, you know, I have this rule. If there's like a Saturday or Sunday that I have clear, I will stay in my pajamas. I will watch Netflix. I'll catch up on stuff. You know, I really just. I need that time to just not talk to anyone or, you know, just really have give my brain and my body a rest. So that's a big priority for me. And I just try to be really conscious about burning out because, yeah, beyond the drinks or the lunches and all that, my business is one of those where, yeah, there's this premiere or there's that event. And so, you know, if you have three or four nights of the week that you're going out, Friday comes around and, you know, my bag's under my eyes, I start looking 10 years older. But I think, don't put so much pressure that it has to be this way or the other. I think really take it a day at a time and know that there are going to be weeks or months where your schedule is a little bit crazier and you're doing a lot more of those networking things, but then it's okay to pull it back for a couple of weeks. Weeks. I think that that is the balance of life, and I don't think it has to be defined with, like, every week I do this or I do that. It's. It's ebbs and flows, and you have to be forgiving with yourself and your schedule.

Yeah, I love that it's so true. Because I was looking, I'm like, how. How do I maintain that it is true. It ebbs and flows so much for me. Some. Some weeks I'm feeling really social. Sometimes I'm like, oh, dang. Like, no, I don't want to. As few people as possible looking forward for two weeks, like, It's. It's huge. It's sprints or I would never. I think that's the sustainable part. Right. Like, how do you sustain a business like this? So what are some really important pieces for you for mentally mental health? Like to be able to sustain a somewhat. Because I don't even believe in the word balance, but a somewhat balanced life.

Yeah. Every morning I do a workout, and that sounds so trite, but, you know, it's. It's my one hour that I do not look at the phone all day, other than when I'm sleeping. And, you know, I just can, you know, connect with my body. I mean, it could be a walk, it could be yoga. It could be lifting weight. I mean, it could be anything. Yeah. Just movement at that one hour, and it just wakes up my body and really starts my day off the right way. And then I feel good. No matter how crappy of a day it is or how crazy things get, you know, you did something good for your. For your body and your mind. I'm also a big. I wouldn't call it journaling, but I do, you know, I do a lot of writing, and I think that if you're struggling with something, I'm really big about making lists, you know, pros, cons, or write out your day, you know, things that you have to do or that you don't have to do, and you can prioritize them. I think that keeps me really, really sane and keeping that balance. And when you see things on a piece of paper and you cross it out, I don't know what it is, but it's just like the best feeling in the world. And then you can also look at that list and all right, you know what? That can be put off until tomorrow. It's important for me to have this dinner. And then I think even though we just sort of talked about this, but beyond business relationships and networking, I think it's really, really important to have people in your life that do keep you grounded, whether that's your family or your friends, and you don't have to see them all the time. But I do think it's important to make time to spend it with those people that really, really know you and love you and that you can be whoever you are feeling that day, you know?

Yeah, I love that. I think that's so important. I know you were like, you know, working out sounds trite, but to me, it's. It's very, like. It's essential to being a human. Like, we. Otherwise we just. All of that energy Needs to move.

Right.

Or you turn into a psycho.

Yeah, exactly.

Especially when you're dealing with people every day. Like you gotta, you gotta have a place to like, like transmute all of that energy somewhere or it's gonna, it's gonna come out. It will. I've worked with so many people where it's like if they don't have an outlet, it will show up in their business. They will be irritated with people, they'll talk to people in a way they don't, you know, they wish they wouldn't have. They'll be reactive. And in business you cannot be reactive. So that's something that I would love to chat with you about. Like, how do you, I think running a business is one of the most. Like if you want to talk about personal development, I think it's like frickin personal development every single day running a business. Because you are, you know, you are managing expectations all of the time. You have to be really upfront, especially in what you do, because nothing is guaranteed. You're working with a whole lot of, you know, possibilities.

Yeah.

Like you're just working with potential. So it's, what do you do to manage people's expectations? And how do you deal with things when people are disappointed with you or with, you know, maybe the outcome of something that you really did not necessarily have control over?

Yeah, I think that the number one thing is always be honest. I think that, you know, people get caught up in, you know, making excuses or, or stories or things. And if something didn't work out, sharing that truthful, honest information with your client or whomever it's with, I mean, what can they say to that? You know, and that's really, I, you know, even in, you know, in doing deals in the entertainment industry, I think this is very much changing. But you know, the old school way of Hollywood was very, you know, there was a lot of lies, there was a lot of this, a lot of that. And, and I think this new wave of entertainment executives is, hey, listen, I know this is probably not gonna happen, but. And then it's an honesty policy. Nobody has time for lies. And I also think, take a minute, sometimes you'll get that email or that call. And like you said, as business owners, you want to just be reactive and figure it out right then and there. And you know, I've had a couple situations where I've wanted to do that too. And just take a minute, step away, go for a walk, maybe sleep on it. Like the world is not going to blow up if you don't write back to that email right this second or you don't call that person back right away. And that was a very important lesson to me too, is, you know, kind of setting those boundaries too. I think if people are hitting you up at midnight and being pissed off that you don't get back to them until 9 o' clock in the morning the next day, you really have to set those boundaries. And I think that that also then when you tell them that, they think, oh, right, yeah, I guess it is 9am on a business day and she got back. It just sets a precedent. And then, because if you give them an inch, they're going to take a mile and then they're going to continue to abuse that. That's just what happens and how it goes. And so setting up those parameters really early on is very important.

Oh, let's talk about boundaries a little bit more because I know that you set the boundary and then you mentioned you have to talk about it, you have to point it out to them. That's the tough part for people because I think we think in the beginning of setting boundaries that we can just set them and people will be like, oh, okay, that boundary sucks, but I'll pay attention to it. Tell me about the actual like, like play boundaries all the way to the end because I don't think they ever stop.

They don't ever stop. And yeah, and you know, look, I think that there are instances where, you know, if you've got a deadline and something blows up that night before, you know, of course there's going to be special circumstances. But I think, you know, whatever your, whatever you, you know, if you are the business owner, you have your own boundaries and you know, what's necessary for you to maintain sanity. And if that's like, I don't bring my phone into the bedroom at night and you know, I don't look at my phone until after my workout. Whatever those boundaries are, that's going to ripple effect into your employees and you have to make sure that you are staying true to those boundaries that you have for yourself with your employees. So if your rule is like, okay, after midnight I'm shutting off my phone, then you have to know that like, you can't hit up your employees after that time. And I think that's a lot of what I dealt with in, you know, before I had my own business is that I would have bosses that, you know, would reach out and expect me to answer them at three in the morning. But then, you know, if I sent something to them, it Wouldn't, you know, they're like, well, you know, listen, this could have waited till the morning. Yeah. So it's a reciprocation. And for clients, you know, I don't walk into a new client and say, here's the rules and here's the boundaries. You know, I think it's important to be flexible, and everybody works differently. And I think you do have to give it a little bit of time in working with someone, especially if it's the first time, and feel them out. You know, there may be no boundary issues, but once those issues start happening, it's important to nip them in the bud right away because, again, they'll just give a little take. They'll take and take and take and take. So, whatever. It could be very different with everyone. I have a client currently that their business week is from Sunday to Friday, and it was our first time working with them, and for about four weeks in a row, they were calling me every Sunday with, like, four or five times a day. And Sunday's actually, like, the only day that I really try to shut down, because I work a lot of Saturdays, too. And I just had to. I picked up the phone and I said, listen, it. I understand that your business week is Sunday through Friday, but my team and I are not. We are not working on Sundays. It's a day off for us, and it's really important for us and this relationship moving forward that you understand and appreciate that. And once I did, they're like, oh, of course. You know, we're so sorry. You were just so responsive, and so we thought it was okay. And I'm like, see? See? I gave them an inch, and they took a mile, you know, so you just.

Awesome. She works Sundays, too.

Yeah, exactly. So how many conference calls can we do, you know? Yeah, yeah.

I've so been there and so done that. And it is that moment of, you know, looking at it and being like, oh, I did that. I can take responsibility for that. And I can also have the conversation and say, yes, I take responsibility for answering on Sunday or whatever we were doing. And now moving forward, I want to stand firm in what I was doing. And I think that's where some people can be like. Like, you know, they can feel bad about going against something that they had done, but it's having that conversation. So I know that you said that, you know, sometimes you pick up the phone and you have that conversation. I have so many people ask me about the boundary conversation. Like, how do you begin to have those tough conversations? What's the best way to have them, especially with relationships that we do want to keep moving forward with or with employees. Like, do you have a great way that you like to start them off? Or do you start an email? Do you go for a walk? What do you like to do?

Do? I would recommend any and every opportunity that you have, especially when it's something that is a little uncomfortable or you're nervous to talk about, always do it in person. Because two people, face to face, you can have a real conversation. And, you know, things can be depicted differently in emails or texts. So that's the number one, is have. Have somebody sitting across from you and just reason with them. You're a human, they're a human, you have a life, they have a life life. And just lay it out for them. And that this is what you're hoping to get out of this meeting, and this is what you hope that the boundaries are. And, you know, depending how they respond, then that's how you'll have to take it to the next step. But more than likely, if you're across the room from someone and you just come from a place of compassion and honesty and you're not making excuses, you're. You're setting parameters, it's going to be. The response is going to be positive, and people have that. People understand. We're all humans with life lives. If you're not able to be in person, then definitely on the phone. But I strongly, strongly discourage setting boundaries or having those tricky conversations via any type of email or text, because you just never know.

Oh, my God, it's amazing what can get taken the wrong way when you do that.

Totally. Like, oh, my gosh, that was such a mean tone. And then they're like, what do you mean? I just said thanks. You know, I know.

You're like, you said it with a period. Yeah, I'm an emoji person.

Yeah, exactly. There was no smiley face at the end of that statement. You must have been in a bad mood.

Totally.

Yeah.

So what is something for you? And I'm just guessing, but I'm guessing because you're human, that even though this is probably your dream and your dream job and your dream business, like, there are probably still moments that you want to quit everything and move to an island with no human beings, potentially. Like, why those moments where you, you know, you want to cry and you want to give up and you feel weak and you feel like you're not going to be able to go on anymore. What. What does that look like? Number one, what can Bring that on. And what do you do to move yourself out of it?

Yeah, I think the only times I don't think I've ever felt like I totally want to throw the talon, but I definitely. There's times where being an entrepreneur can feel very isolating. You know, no matter how many amazing people you have working for you, there's a lot of things that handling and running, that's just you. And for me, those moments happen when it's so, so crazy busy and the eat, you know, the inbox is piling up and my to do list is piling up and I just, like, sometimes get to the point where I'm like looking at the computer screen like, what does that say? You know, you're just fried. You're fried. And those are the times when I am like, okay, Jen, take a day. And I will know. Okay, guys, after 2:00 today, I'm, you know, I'll go get a massage or I will go and spend an afternoon with a relative or just I do something for me that kind of pulls me out of that and I'm being pulled out of it. You remember, oh, I have the money to pay for this massage because I work so hard. Or I have the opportunity to step away at 2 o' clock on a Thursday because I am my own boss. And I think if you just remove yourself for whatever short amount of time, something cool clicks and it just, it shifts from I want to get out of this to like, okay, I'm here, I'm in it. I'm really grateful, I'm really present. I've worked really hard to be here and I deserve to take this little break or do whatever it is I'm doing for myself.

Yeah, that's literally to a T exactly what I do. And I had that moment with my brother here because right before that I was like, oh, my God, like, just having one of those days where I'm like, do I really want to do this? Like, I, you know, multiple times. But then spending time, like you said, with family or stepping away, I had so many moments of. I would never be able to do this anywhere else. Like, this is amazing to be able to create this for yourself. So, yeah. What's something that you feel maybe in your personal life that you are struggling with right now?

Oh, a relationship. I mean, I'm, you know, I'm single. It's so funny. I just spent the weekend at my little sister's engagement party and, you know, I'm so happy for her, but, you know, and I constantly make excuses. You know, I'm busy. And. And that's. That's the truth. And, you know, a lot of my evenings, I do have work commitments and have to be out. So for me, the last thing I want to do if I have a free night is go sit across the table with some guy I've never met that, you know, usually within five minutes, I can tell, like, okay, you know, bye. Look at the time. But I think also, you know, as a. As an entrepreneur and a working woman and a very independent woman, it's. It's really hard. It's hard to find someone that can keep up, but also someone who. I don't want to say is threatened. That might not be the right word, but somebody who wants to continue to push me to continue to rise, you know, beside them. And. Yeah, so that's the thing that, you know, every New Year's I keep saying, all right, Jen, we're going to make that a priority. And then my business keeps scaling, which is, you know, there's all these amazing things, and I don't feel, you know, I know it's going to happen, and I know it. I trust in, you know, the higher power, that it's going to happen at the right time and it's going to be the perfect person. But that's definitely a struggle.

I hear that from so many women. So what's something that you do to kind of just pull yourself back into trust and into the. Because it's really easy, right, to get into the place of. From what I hear from so many friends, like, feeling like it's not going to happen, or, you know, am I going to be too busy or am I just going to get busier? How much time is going to pass instead of being there and getting back into the place of trust and, like, really taking care of yourself.

Yeah, I think that I just always, always, always trust my intuition and my gut and no matter what decision I make, and I just. I know in my heart and in my gut that there really is someone out there. And so. And I believe that, you know, our intuition and our gut are just so, so powerful. And, you know, I just. I really try to just tune back into that and know that. That it's going to happen. And I do. I believe it. And I really, you know, I'm. I have a lot of those friends, too, that are like, oh, you know, the ticking clock, and do you want to have kids? And you better freeze your eggs and, you know, all those things, and. And I don't feel that immense Pressure. I mean, maybe I should. I don't know. But I just. I know in my. In my gut and my heart and that it's going to happen.

Girl, I'm married, and I hear that stuff about babies all the time. Like, I can't tell you how many people have told me to freeze my eggs. And I'm like, will you just. Will you stop talking? And it's fine if you do. It's just. We're always. There's always going to be another story outside of the one that you want. So you have to just keep choosing the story that you want and believing that. Yeah. Even if that's not the story, then you can create another one from whatever circumstance you're in at that point. Like, always choosing our story. So what feels really fun for you right now?

Really fun for me? Well, my team has been growing really, really quickly and immensely, and there's. I just. There's this really fun, vibrant energy that's happening. Yeah. Yeah. And so that's like. I'm excited every morning when I wake up and. And, like, seeing the team, you know, and my employees hang out and connect and build their own relationships. Like, that's really fun for me. It just. I feel like a mama bear and like, all the, you know, all the cubs are getting along, so that's really fun. I'm a huge, huge traveler and always have a few trips to look forward to, and there's. There's nothing more fun to me than traveling and seeing the world and being humbled by all the people and places that are out there. I think sometimes we get stuck in our bubble. So. So that's. Those are the things that are really fun at the moment.

What's been one of your favorite places that you've visited and why?

Oh, Tokyo is incredible. Every person I meet, if. Especially if you love sushi, which I do, because it will blow. It will blow your mind.

How come?

Why?

What is different about it than here?

Here, it's like it just melts in your mouth. I don't know. It's. You know, it's so. It's so fresh, and so. It's just. It's just incredible. But beyond that, that. The culture. I'm just a huge culture person. And their culture in Japan, they're just the kindest, sweetest, very clean culture. And, you know, you could. They could not speak a lick of English, and you could be standing next to them trying to ask for directions, and they will sit there with you for two hours trying to help you figure it out. And it's just so, they're just, it's just this warm, welcoming and I mean, Tokyo is just an incredible metropolis, you know that it's just, it's, it's definitely a must see for people. I'm also a huge fan of Australia. I go there quite a bit and that's probably one of my favorites because I have a lot of friends there in Melbourne and I've done some business in Australia. But it's very similar to growing up in Southern California. They're all kind of easygoing, family loving, laid back. And I love that it feels like home. But yeah, I mean, I've been everywhere. I think travel is like, you know, the best way to spend your money. Mm.

Perspective. Like, what does it do for you when you. I love travel too. And I think for so many people it's, you know, once in a while we go into this, especially as entrepreneurs, we think that we can be spending our time in a better way back on our business. But I think some of the most powerful things we can do is go and travel. So tell me why you think that it's so powerful to go and get those experiences.

Well, I think that sometimes we can get caught working in a bubble. You know, you wake up, you do your work, you have your employees, you do your things, you have your to do list, blah, blah, blah. It's the same routine. You're in a bubble, you have your same people that you see, your same restaurants you go to. And I think that sometimes, you know, you can just get stuck creatively, energetically, spiritually, personally. And I think going out and seeing the world, it opens your eyes both, you know, literally and figuratively. And I think that there's a patience and a compassion in dealing with other people of other cultures, you know, when perhaps we don't fully understand their culture. And I think there's this really cool thing about learning how other places of the world do their business, eat their food, you know, have the. And then, I mean, beyond that, just the sights. I mean, it is a beautiful, beautiful planet out there. And I think, you know, sometimes we take it a little bit for granted and, you know, just seeing some of the wondrous and beauty that the world has out there, I think is also just humbling. And it brings you back to appreciate where you are and what you do.

I love that you just took me on a little vacation. So what is a question that you wish more people asked you that they normally don't?

Oh, that's an interesting one. I would say, you know, I spoke about it earlier, like, with my mom dying, but it was like, quite tragic. And I think that people sometimes just make assumptions about when somebody is going through something hard or they want to avoid it. You know, if, you know, if someone says, oh, I was diagnosed with cancer, oh, my parents got a divorce, you know, I think that sometimes that makes people strange and not, you know, like, we don't want to, we don't want to ask more. And I wish, and I try to put this out there as much as possible, but I just wish people, you know, would ask me more about my experience. And, you know, that in turn opens up new relationships and really, really authentic relationships. And I think we should all be a little bit more curious about each other's real, real stories.

I think there's so much fear around because I know that I've definitely felt fear around the, like, you know, maybe if we open that door, it'll be too painful for them or maybe too painful for us or we won't know what to say. So sometimes for people asking you, like, what. What would feel good for people to do, just hold space or just ask and be able to sit there and just hear you or what does that look like? Because I know a lot of people, they don't know how to react.

Yeah, I think, I think hold space. I think for me it's. I don't ever want anyone to think that I'm different or unapproachable because of some circumstances that I've had. And so for me it's, it's less about what I want and more just about, you know, it's okay to ask, you know, ask me anything. And, and I think that, you know, it's just sort of this, it's like the elephant in the room and like, let's just talk about it. And then you have. And then it creates this connection. And so I understand that, you know, if someone's going through something hard, we want to be polite and want to do, you know, the quote, right thing. But I do think that there's a way to feel it out. I think sometimes, actually more often than not, people going through something or that, that have gone through something really hard in their life, they don't have enough people to talk about it.

Yeah, absolutely. Is that where your. I know that you have so much about compassion on your website about, you know, kind of your mission statement, basically. Can you tell me about where that came from and what that really means in your day to day, like life?

Yeah, well, I think, you know, it's like, think about when you're driving down the street and, you know, somebody honks at you like the second that the light turns green, you know, And a lot of people, they want to turn around and, you know, flip them off and, oh, you know, screw you, buddy. You know, I mean, it's. You know, and especially, you know. Yeah. And so instead of thinking like, oh, man, that guy's just a jerk, then think about it, like, all right, well, what's happening in that person's life? You know, maybe they just. Maybe they're trying to get to the hospital because someone's at the hospital. Maybe they, you know, they. Somebody just left them. I mean, you know that you never know what a circumstance is. And so that's just like, you know, using it that as an example for everyday life. You know, if somebody gives you an attitude or somebody has a bad day or somebody is late or somebody didn't quite do a project up to your standard standards, you know, it's not about giving people excuses, but I think it's about having compassion, that we're all human beings and we all have lives, and that there are circumstances that affect us in ways that are out of our control. And just approaching all of your relationships from that place, it really creates this beautiful understanding.

Oh, man, I love it. And honestly, like, compassion is the only way that I can get through life. Otherwise, you just can. You can hate people. People like you can get really bitter really quickly, Especially when every block, there's 10 challenges, like sometimes in Los Angeles. So it's always something. That's exactly what I'm doing. Whether I'm in line somewhere, whether you're seeing something and you're like, you have to go to compassion, or you put yourself in a prison. Like, you can put yourself in a prison where the world gets scary. And when the world gets scary, your bubble gets smaller and you feel like you can do less, less and less and less. So how do you keep yourself in that. I know that you just talked about compassion, but it might go back to compassion. But in that expanded place where you do grow your business, where you do feel like you can move on quickly from things where, you know, maybe you people are disappointed with you, or maybe your business isn't going the way that you want, how do you continue to get into expansion so that you can continue to grow and show up for people?

Yeah, I think that it's, you know, it's. I. Allow yourself to have a moment to feel whatever you're feeling. You know, I think. I think it's important never to mitigate feelings that. And emotions that come up. You know, it could be anger or sadness or frustration. And, you know, don't go out and, you know, run into people with your car, but, you know, be. Allow yourself to feel whatever those are. And, you know, if it's a day that you're waking up and you're just not feeling that great, like, again, spend a little time alone and be angry and punch a pillow or do whatever the heck it is that you need to do so that you can. So that you can move on and get back to who you are. You know, I think emotions rise and come up for a reason. And, you know, we're all our own worst critic. And I try, you know, I put my best effort into everything, and I think the number one person that you need to be honest with is yourself. So if you know that you didn't put everything into a project or a client and then they're disappointed with the results or you're disappointed with the results, you know why? Because you didn't really give your all. And so if you give your all, then there's really nothing that you can be disappointed in. And if a client or a customer or whomever is disappointed in you, there's nothing to feel bad about because, you know, you did everything that you could. And when those things happen, I just tell myself, well, you know, what. What? We did everything possible. Like, it's. It's on them. You know, their. Their expectations are unrealistic or they just don't get it, or it's a relationship that we don't want to be a part of. Mm. Mm.

That's huge. So once you say that, how do you continue to make peace with that until it goes away? Because I. I know that this happens all the time in our business, too, where it's like, okay, they're just not getting it. Okay. They're actually breaking a contract. Okay. You know, when. When you go through all the things, but it can still hurt. So. So what do you. You know, how do you help your team get through that? How do you continue to, like, put that to rest?

Yeah, communication is a big thing. I think that when those things are happening, it's important to share with your team. You know, if there's a client that's disappointed, I think communicating with the team and talking about why they're disappointed and reiterating the strengths and the. And the positive things that your team did, and then you all just sort of decide, okay, you know, I'll be like, all Right. You gu. So we're leaving this client and we're moving on. And this is why, clearly you guys have felt it too, and you just can't think about it again. You can't fill yourself with guilt or let anything follow you around. If you make that conscious decision to cut a cord, you have to cut it and you have to let it be. Otherwise we're all just going to be bogged down with all this baggage that we're carrying around every day.

I think about that a lot because you, you know, I. And I know this happens in just about everyone's business, but it's. It's easy when somebody is. You've met every expectation that you feel good about and they just had, you know, something else in mind. Or maybe they just have something. Maybe they're crazy.

Yeah, yeah.

Whatever it is. Going back to compassion. But also, you know that. That point where you can go into fear and be like, well, oh my God, now they have this opinion and they think this. And now they're going to tell people, like, you literally have to just cut that off and be like, if they do, that's fine. You have to just let people decide for themselves. But I have a lot of people ask me, especially new business owners say, but how do you, like, aren't you so afraid they're gonna go and pull your name through the dirt and blah, blah, blah, like, you know, what do you. You just keep having that conversation with your people.

Yeah, well. And I mean, and you know what? If they're gonna drag your name through the dirt, let em. But if you're honest and you are true to yourself and true to your service, or true, whatever it is that you're providing to your customer, then screw em, you know, I mean, there's gonna be people trying to burst your bubble in every aspect of your life, and you just have to keep filling your own bubble with oxygen and keep on flying higher because people are always gonna try to bring you down. And you cannot spend your time being worried or afraid that that's gonna happen because you're just gonna make yourself a crazy person.

Amen. I feel like I just need to, like, we all need to replay that last minute that you were saying over and over and over and over again. It's easy to get stuck there because we can think, if we're a good person. Why are these people in our lives? Well, they're there for you to grow.

Yep, exactly.

Really rooted in who you are. So is there anything, man, I know that we talked about a lot of things. But I also know we didn't talk about a lot of things. So is there anything that's left on your heart that you want to share with people that you just kind of want them to know that maybe we didn't talk about?

I just think, you know, one thing that I've been. Been really conscious of lately is this concept of dreams becoming reality. And I think that, you know, it's. It's. We hear it all the time. You know, dreams do come true. But I think it's. If you really, really, truly believe in yourself, you can do anything, you know, And I started this business, I didn't know which end was up. I didn't know what foot to put in front of the other. And you take it a day at a time. Nobody knows what the heck they're doing, you know, and you really, really have to dream, and you have to continue to believe in yourself and empower yourself, and the sky's the limit.

Amen. Also going to replay that one. So I'm so grateful for you. Thank you so much for your time and for coming.

I'm so grateful for you. Thank you for having me, all of.

Your amazing wisdom, and where can we find you? Follow you, Find out more about your services?

Yeah. So follow us on Instagram. Ultivated Entertainment. I also have a PODC called Cultivated Conversations, which I'm forcing Lori to do. Guys, heard it here. You heard it here first.

I'm so excited.

Yeah, it'll be amazing. And yeah, our website is Cultivated ent, short for entertainment dot com. And yes, send us. You can send us an email. Helloultivated. Ent. We're really good about getting back to people, and.

Yeah, amazing. Well, thank you so much. I always end on one last question. Question.

Are you ready? I'm ready.

Like, what the hell is this gonna be? All right, so you have. You have 30 seconds in passing with a stranger, whether it's on the sidewalk or you're in an elevator, but whatever it is, it's only 30 seconds. And they look at you and ask you, how can I make myself happy? What do you say?

I say walk around and smile at every person that you see. And see how they smile back at you and let that fill you up.

So good, you guys, if you loved this episode as much as I did, make sure you share it with your friends. And until next time, earn your happy.

Bye, everyone.

Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode of with someone you think would love it. That would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment. Tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again guys. Bye Bye.