422: Questionably Awesome - Your burning questions about CONNECTION answered

How do you know if the deep connection you feel for a person is good for you?

You don't.

You don't know.

You don't ever know. Welcome to Life School 101. Welcome to the earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn, own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Welcome back to another episode of Questionably awesome, where everything we say is no longer questionable. It's just wonderful. Wonderful and awesome. Questionably wonderful or changing the name. Ladies and gentlemen, we. These podcasts are about bringing out our inner. I don't know, my favorite part of myself, to be quite honest.

Your true self.

Do you know? Okay, well, before I go into that, because I tend to cut off my explanation every single time. This is podcasts that answer your questions that you have sent in via Face Facebook. Wow.

Yeah. Via Facebook, via my space.

Go find my MySpace, guys. You're gonna love it. Via Instagram stories where we post, where we're asking for questions and we answer them and we get kind of. We get kind of crazy on here.

Yeah, it's really wild.

It's early and we sound drunk, but we're not. There might be a time that we are let you know, when maybe in the future. I hope that's what my future holds with you, too. That's all I'm saying. Evans.

Hi, Lori.

You dropped some bombs on me this morning. I know you gotta share. I'm like, hey, how are you? She's like, well, first of all, did you. Oh, wait, okay. So, okay. I was like, wait, then where are you going?

Okay, so I quit my job yesterday.

Okay.

All right.

So can you tell our listeners a little, maybe just a. First of all, I think it's so great because it's funny. I told Evans. I was like, I have a. I had a weird gut hit this morning. I was like, I do not think she's happy in her job. And I was like, I wonder what that feels like, because I'm tired this morning. And I'm like, I can't imagine having to go to a job every day that I really did not like. I mean, I can, because I did that for years, but I was like, oh, I can't imagine doing it now, so. And then you came in and you're like, I quit my job yesterday.

Okay.

But you gave your notice.

I gave my notice.

Great company. It was a great company.

Wonderful company. But do share wonderful people. And I just went into it with, hey, I don't feel like I'm growing. What else is there for me to do? And we had a conversation.

It was very open, and there really.

Isn'T much else for me to do.

Yeah.

At this stage.

So.

And I had another random project that I could be working on to make some money, so that's what I'm gonna do.

That is so amazing. But the thing is, is, like, the project was so random for you that you. A lot of people may not have opened up their periscope of vision in order. I don't know. That sounded great. I really like that. Yeah. Very colorful. Right? Not a stethoscope. Although that would be listening to your heart. Put your stethoscope on and your periscope.

Eyes and see what happens.

Because I'm telling you, if you're a realist, you're gonna stay stuck in that job. That's all. So open up. Open wide.

Open Wide. Just like that book.

Yeah. I don't know that book. I don't either.

Wasn't there a book called Open Wide or something? I don't know.

Sounds sexual. Moving on.

Yeah. I don't know what's new.

Maybe you got that from your bachelorette party. Not wide.

Open Heart.

That's what we're going with.

All right.

Open Heart.

Yeah.

There's nothing weird about this podcast ever, so it's all about your heart chakras. Okay, so you did it.

I did it.

Now, here's the thing. Like, you are getting so good with tough conversations.

Yeah. A little too good.

No, this is real good. You're following the real real. Yeah.

It's hard. And I don't condone going in somewhere and being like, peace out. I did not do that.

No, you gave your notice.

Yes.

You. I've had a tough conversation with you, so I know it goes. You enter it super loving. I'm sure you went in there and you were like, you know, I really want to be growing. I want to be adding value. But, you know, they went back and there wasn't a spot for you, so that actually gave you the most clean out ever. It really did. Yeah.

It was just like the universe said, girl, you gotta go somewhere else.

Yeah, well, I think that's been a knocking on your heart.

It really has been tugging at those heartstrings.

Yeah, well, have heartstrings. You sure do. Are hanging out at the bottom of your pants, too. She's not wearing stringy pants or anything.

But maybe I will.

I'm so proud of you. And I just feel like this next project is just a beautiful holding pattern until you come back to work for us. Yeah, it's just a little.

Little. I don't even know what it is.

I literally have this vision in my mind that she's coming back to, like, help run my company. And, yeah, I just. If I don't speak it into existence, how the hell are you gonna come back?

Exactly?

I don't know. I picture us with pink mugs. Just talk day.

Somehow.

Maybe my new company will have a radio station.

Oh, that would be so cool.

And you'll run it, and you'll run hr okay, great.

Sign me up. Sign me up.

I don't know where that came from. All right, do you have a.

Do you have a quote? A quote? I do hear it. It's by Buddha. And it is. No matter how hard the past is, you can always begin again. I just, like. That felt timely.

Well, that's super timely, because I really believe, like, I don't know, in any single moment, we can change the trajectory of our life completely. For I'm literally doing it right now. I'm like, wow. One decision in one phone call gets things moving so quickly that sometimes. Sometimes that you just need those little sprinkles of inspiration along the way. Because the way that a journey goes is it's gonna feel like, oh, holding pattern, holding pattern. Procrastination, holding pattern. Then all of a sudden, you take some massive action, because maybe you were listening to some podcasts or you're sick of your bullshit. Either one.

Both.

A little bit of both for me. So it took some massive action that just, like, threw my life into a totally different trajectory.

I love that.

Yeah, I love it. So there you go. You did it, too. Yeah. Isn't that the truth?

Oh, man, I'm so sick of myself.

Every great story starts with really getting sick of having another same. Yeah, it does. Like, you look in the mirror and you're like, you are better than this.

Exactly.

You are beautiful silver hair. And you can do this, you beautiful woman. And then you go to the bed, body slam yourself a couple times.

Yep.

It's super Fun. You basically just throw yourself into the bed. Yeah.

Try it.

It's amazing.

Multiple times.

Be like.

And yell on your pillow.

Yeah. And then you get up, and you're like, I'm a new.

I'm a new person.

And then take some damn action.

Seriously.

Seriously.

You play it up in your head, and you're like, oh, it's gonna be so hard. I can never do this. I can never do this. I can never do this.

Why do we do that? It's so exhausting. I'm so over that type of life. I really am. Like, just take a little bit of action every single day, because I'm really over this fight in my head of, like, negotiating my goals away.

It's really stupid.

Dumb. It's so dumb. I'm talking to myself right now.

Me too.

I'm gonna go body slam myself on the bed.

Me too.

Record it. Okay. I'll put on something that's not a robe, because I feel like that could be dangerously close to. I don't know, body parts being real.

Free.

Yeah. Okay. My quote. I think it's Tony Robbins. Looks like it is. It's a meme. So I'm trying to really make it out. All right. It says, a real decision is measured by the fact that you've taken a new action. If there's no new action, you haven't truly decided.

Now, that's timely, too.

That's timely, too. And you know why? Why? Because I had the word decide and pen written on my arm yesterday because I was so inspired by this story of my friend's daughter.

Yeah.

Who literally just decided. She went from, like, running, I guess, in track, like, pretty slow. Like, was just whatever. Yeah, I'm in track. Just doing it. It's great. To this year, deciding she wanted to be number one and literally has placed, like, number one and number two in these big races. And her mom was like, what made you. Like, what in the world is going on? And she's like, I just decided that I want to win. I decided I want to be better. And she said, I never compete with anyone else. I only compete with that voice in my head that tells me I can't. So I check in and I talk to it, and I decide that I'm not gonna let it win.

What a wise little girl.

Yeah. You have no idea. Anyway, I'm like, well, shit.

Yeah.

So I'm literally. I'm not kidding you. I. I actually think I'm gonna go get this tattooed because it was really powerful having it written in pen on my arm. So yeah, you read the review I'm gonna write decide on my arm again because I really like it.

I really like that too.

2026 is the year that you launch your business. It's the year that you've become the boss. You become the leader. That idea that you have that has been eating at you forever that just will not leave you alone is going to come to life. Maybe it's something that someone tells you you should always sell or a store you've already designed in your head. And with Shopify, 2026 is when you finally make it happen. Shopify gives you everything you need to sell online and in person. Millions of entrepreneurs have already made this leap from household name to first time business owners. Just getting started you guys. I use Shopify for glossy and I remember when they sent me my little shopping bag celebrating my 10,000 sales and I literally cried because I was so scared to take the leap. And I'm so glad that I did and that I use Shopify. It gives you all the tools to easily build your dream store. You can choose from hundreds of beautiful templates that you can customize to match. Your brand setup is fast with Shopify's built in AI tools that write product descriptions and headlines and help you edit photos. So marketing is built in too. You can create email and social campaigns that reach customers wherever they scroll. So as you grow, Shopify grows with you. You can handle more orders, expand to new markets and do it all from the Same dashboard in 2026. Stop waiting and start selling with Shopify. Sign up for your dol dollar per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com happy go to shopify.com happy that's shopify.com happy hear your first cha ching this new year with Shopify by your side. There are so many challenges to business that I don't want starting to be one of them for you.

And when you want more.

When you're starting a business, you need Northwest Registered Agent because you get access to thousands of free guides, tools and legal forms to help you launch and protect your business. And it's all in one place. You can build your complete business identity with Northwest today. Northwest Registered Agent has been helping small business owners and entrepreneurs launch and grow business for nearly 30 years. They're the largest registered agent and LLC service in the US with over 1500 corporate guides. Real people who know your local laws and can help you and your business every single step of the way. You can sign up for free account to begin managing your business hub with lawyer Drafted operating agreements, bylaws, resolutions, membership certificates, bills of sale, and more at no cost. Northwest makes life easy for business owners. They don't just help you form your business, they give you the free tools you need after you form it, like operating agreements, meeting minutes, and thousands of how to guides that explain the complicated ins and outs of running a business. And let me tell you the this is life changing because I had no idea how much went into this. So don't wait. Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes. Visit www.northwestregisteredagent.com and start building something amazing. Get more with Northwest registered agent@www.northwestregisteredagent.com forward/earnfree.

Okay, this is from Ashley. Julie.

Beautiful. Two names, two first names. I like that.

Oh, you're gonna love this awesome content. This is actually the first podcast I've ever heard as a friend in LA told me how great it is. So glad I found it. Got into podcasting more than listening to music as I drove around for work projects. Your guests are great and inspiring as well, and I've listened to a few others as well. Your messages are so relatable and a lot I needed to hear at times. And it really is all about mindset, which leads to happiness. I will definitely be at the 2020 Bliss Project getting my ticket soon. Thank you, Ashley.

Ashley. That was really cool. First of all, so exciting.

Yeah.

And send an email to customer serviceloriharder.com so I can send you a package. By the way. So cool because it'll probably be the cheapest package I've ever sent to la.

Oh yeah.

It'll be like sometimes I pick a review, I'm like, oh, New Zealand, awesome. Here, I'm sending a 25 gift. Angel shipping is 75. Awesome. Just kidding. I really don't care. It's worth it. Hashtag worth it. But yeah, Ashley, awesome. I cannot wait to meet you at Bliss Project. And because Evan's quit her job, I'll be able to. She's gonna be there. I just made you.

I already asked you if I could volunteer.

Well, please do. I love this. Well, I told you, you guys, I want to do like a little Q A series with Evans on stage. What do you think?

Oh, I hope I don't hear dye my hair blue on accident.

I hope you do. I hope that you dye it pink so it matches the stage.

Oh, me too.

Let's do that.

Okay.

Wouldn't that be fun? Because you don't Have a job anymore. Whatever the hell you want.

There are no rules. I.

Can you wear something that you've always wanted to wear, too.

Like something a little sexier, sexy or.

Fluffy, or just something like, wow. I really, like, see myself as this person, and I'm going to go, like, dip my toe in here.

I like it.

I want you to put the whole foot in, though.

That everyone should put their whole foot in.

Yeah. Maybe their calf as well.

Get in there. Try something up in there.

What do you think? Shall we do cues?

Yeah, I think that's a great idea.

I now have decide written on my arm and pen, by the way.

Good. That's a good mantra for today and every day.

I like it because I look at it and I'm like, you are floundering. Yeah, don't do that. That's your own pain. You're choosing your own damn pain. Like, you're literally sabotaging yourself. Like, you're picking up a pin and you're stabbing it into your bottom of your foot. Yeah, that's what indecision feels like. And you're like, I don't know what to do while you're stabbing the pin deeper. And someone's like, take out the pin, idiot.

Just do it.

Decide to take the pin out.

We're all. We're all the same. Decide. Well, here's a question about connection.

I would love to go into this topic.

This is great. It's from Jessica Moog. Underscore, M.D. underscore, realtor. So if you're in Maryland, maybe she could be your realtor.

Oh, there you go.

Why do I always attract friends who need my help? And then I end up feeling exhausted by it.

Her name is Jessica. Jessica, you and me are former twin flames. Now I'm gonna ramble off an answer. If it resonates, awesome. Take it. If it doesn't, flush it. Just get it out of your system and ask again. Ask someone else. Read my book. Because this is literally what my entire book is about. So if you haven't read it yet, that's just a plug.

A Tribe Called Bliss.

A Tribe Called Bliss. Go read the book. Okay. So I attracted friends who I felt exhausted. I was not willing to get vulnerable, to actually share with them where I was at, because I, at a very young age, found myself to be the peacemaker and the fixer in my family because I didn't want to rock the boat. So what this also did is that I felt. I only felt I was valuable if I was offering value to people. Like, I never Wanted to drain them or to unload on them because I, like, saw so many other people do that that I was like, I don't ever want to be that type of person. And there were so many different issues in my that I just wanted to always be the person to make peace. So I ended up thinking that in order for me to be valuable and for people to like me that I had to give them something or add value into their lives. What ended up happening is while I was like, I think I attracted all of these terrible takers, it wasn't that I. Yes, to an extent. But what also happens is you taught them how to treat you. You never asked them for help. You never tell them that you're not actually fine or that, you know, need someone to listen or could you please help me, you know, make sure that I talk about myself and really share vulnerably and authentically with you? Because what I tend to do is say, I'm fine, ask how you are, and then try to solve all your problems to make myself feel better.

Yes.

And then I would leave and be like, wait, this woman owes me for coaching. And you're like, wait, that was your friend? And you're like, no, she fricking owes me for coaching.

I'm tired.

I don't want to see her again. And then you go to lunch with her again next week because you're craving connection. So next time that she says, hi, how are you? Or maybe she doesn't just be like, hey, can I share a little bit about how I'm doing? I tend to not actually share with myself and I'm really trying to work on this.

I love that.

So that's huge too.

That's huge.

So. And yeah, you might need to break up with your friends if they potentially do not start asking, even after you have that tough conversation of saying, hey. I've noticed that I'm in a lot of one way relationships because it's my fault. I'm not willing to share and get vulnerable.

Right.

So will you help me with this?

I love that you're just taking ownership for your own actions.

Yeah. And if they're like, no, I want to talk about myself, then order a pie and just like twist it on their face.

Just pie their face pie.

Give them a pie.

Give them a big pile.

Give them a high pie.

That's great advice, though, because everyone wants to share about themselves. And it's true. Everybody has a friend who is a big sharer, which they're great. But you got to make time for Yourself to get your stuff out too.

That's just the truth, Evan.

It's just the truth. It's just the way it is.

As much as I love hearing my own voice, I want to hear yours too.

Yeah.

So let it out. Yeah.

Let's do it.

Next cue.

Next cue is from baby steps for big results.

Yeah. Hell yeah.

Nailed it.

What a good handle. Hey. Hey.

I was just thinking about the moon's voice again.

What? Wait, do you remember?

I think I might have it wrong though. It's like, I don't think the moon is in its limelight right now though. It's not. I think it's just like in between. I think it's like three quarters full.

Was it already full?

No. Was the moon. No, that was the moon, wasn't it? I think the moon's voice is like that. I don't know.

That was like. That's like a Midwestern moon.

It really is. I think there's totally different moons. Like, the moon for LA is totally like this. It's a woman.

My chakra, my shock.

My moon chakra. I'm mooning you. Haha. Astrology jokes. I don't know. That is not the moon's voice. No. What's the next question?

Please help me. It's. It's from Baby steps for big results.

Love that.

When you feel that wall up, who do you start to chip away at? To start connecting?

Who do you. I'm. I'm thinking they're saying, like, how do you start chipping away at this to start connecting? Baby steps for big results. This is such an amazing question, Evans. Yes, tell me, because I feel as though you came to la. I got to see your journey on, like, making friends and probably feeling like your. Your southern wall was up.

Oh, yeah.

What's a southern wall built from?

Probably butter.

Oh yeah.

It's a soft butter wall.

Hey, that's a nice way to look at it though, isn't it? How did you start melting it?

Oh, that's a great way. I can see this in my head now. Let's see. When people would ask me or at work, when girls were like, oh, we're all gonna go get some coffee. I'd be like, can I come?

I know I could see you doing that.

Like, oh, cool. Where are you guys going? Do you mind if I come? And I'm sure they're probably like, okay, great. But great.

We were gonna talk about.

Yeah, we're actually gonna talk about this weird new girl. But I. Yeah. And going new places and when you feel that wall come up? Oh, man. I get really hermity, really easy, easily. Just, like, stay in your zone. And when you're quiet all day and you haven't seen another person, you're like, I'm just gonna stay in here forever. Yep. But you have to make yourself go outside. And sometimes it starts with just talking to a cashier at the grocery store.

It sure does.

And then you get. Eventually you're like, hey, there's that nice girl at work, or guy at work. And I'll just be like, do you want to sit with me at lunch today?

Yep.

I don't know.

I love this so much because here's. The only way you're gonna do it is exactly like what she said. I. I do a challenge in my head. Like, when I leave for the day. I literally. I do this now, like, unconsciously, but for a long time, I had to actually be like, this is your challenge to talk to people today. So, yes, I will. I had kind of talked about this, but now when I get invited to. They do all these different things in LA that are like, come to this influencer launch or this thing or whatever. And I get invited, and you can't bring a friend. And I don't know anyone at these typically. So I'm like, guess. Guess what? You have to go insert yourself and talk to people. No, it's freaking weird. You stand there alone. So right away, I, like, talk to the bartenders first, typically. Oh, yeah. And then I'm like, you know, ask them how their days are, whatever. And I'm kind of warming up, and we're. We, like, have this little relationship because I'm like, please, for the love of God, help me. Yeah. And then I talk to someone who's in line at the bar, and then I'm. I'm always like, hey, don't you love these? These are so weird at first, when you're first meeting people, I'm like, hey, how are you? Nice to meet you. Do you know anyone who's coming? If. So I would like to know them, too. I mean, like, for real. I'm just so weird. Like, I. This last one that I went to, I went up to this group of girls who looked, you know, like someone I would like to know and somewhat approachable.

Yeah.

I went in and I'm like, hi. I'm just gonna insert myself into this conversation because I don't know anyone. So nice to meet you. And that was it.

So brave.

And I just kept doing that to every single circle. And there were really awkward points I'm not gonna lie. Like, there were, like, five moments where I was like, just go to the bathroom. Like, just go into the bathroom and, like, start texting or something. And I decided not to do that again. And then I was fine.

Good for.

I ended up meeting a girl who I talked to for, like, an hour. It was great.

Exactly.

So she felt weird, too.

Yeah. And you don't have to come out of it with another best friend. You're just kind of. You're just meeting people.

No, I literally do not talk to any of them anymore. But I will tell you that it was just like, an amazing experience of just watching yourself. Like, that's something I do a lot in these instances is just watch how you're trying to protect yourself from nothing.

Exactly. What. What's the alternative? You're going to be at home watching Netflix.

That's the alternative. Which is. Sure is very fun. Which is super fun. But I love. But you're going to turn into a woman in her 50s and 60s in a padded room.

Yeah.

Because. And if you are a woman in your 50s and 60s in a padded room, you can use this and get out of your shell again immediately. But I'm telling you, like, the future is coming.

It's coming.

And if you don't do something right now to change it, it looks more. It's going to be more bleak than you're picturing right now. I really hope that that didn't just make you permit more and it inspired you.

Right. Get out there, talk to the cat. I'm telling you, the grocery store cashiers, that's the first. My first target.

They're the best.

How's your day going?

Yeah, they're the. And they're going to tell you.

They're going to tell you. They're like, man, this is a hard day.

They're gonna be like, I have to go to a second job after this.

Yeah.

For real. I just talked to someone, so. I just talked to a cashier at Whole Foods.

Going to two jobs, it kills.

Good Lord. I'm gonna go talk to more people because you. You have it harder than me. So.

Too many people finish their workday feeling frustrated, drained, and unfulfilled. I know that. I have experienced that myself. And the good news is it doesn't have to be this way, and you don't need a new job to fix it. Patrick Lencioni, author of the Five Dysfunctions of a Team and more than a dozen other bestsellers, created the Working Genius assessment to help you pinpoint the kind of work that give energy, the kind that lights you up, and it also shares the kind that drains it. So over a million people, including me, have taken it and completely changed how I lead and show up every day. If you're a CEO, an entrepreneur, or someone who just wants to level up in business and in life, working genius is going to give you the clarity and confidence to operate in your strengths and find greater joy in what you do. Because confidence isn't pretending to be good at everything. It's knowing where you're truly gifted. Take the working genius assessment today and get 20 off with code earn@working genius.com. that's working genius dot com. You'll be glad you did it.

Perspective.

Have you ever had three jobs at once?

No, I've only had two at once, which about did me in.

Yeah, it really does. You and I had three at once for a very limited amount of time. Like a month. It was real bad. I was a psycho.

Wait, I listened to your podcast about that.

That's a really good episode.

I really like that one where you share about your and all the things you did and because it's so easy to think people just get the way they are overnight, you worked your tail off.

Oh, I was like, that girl that people are, like, talk a lot of shit about and are like, wow, she's a loser. Not going anywhere. I drank, like, every single night. Worked at Hooters and this horrible bar where we served food in buckets. Do you know what was so nice about that, though? When you served people, I could just hang the buckets on my arms and carry the drinks. It was so much easier.

I bet cleanup was easy, too, because.

It was so much better. Yeah. And you throw the stuff in the garbage can and then, like, you just. The bucket just gets washed.

We should probably go back to Buckets.

Oh, we should literally start a place called Buckets.

It would be so cute with pink buckets.

Oh, wouldn't that be adorable? New business. Welcome to Buckets.

Welcome to Buckets.

Where if your life is going bad, you eat a bucket and you say, screw it.

Oh, I just said it.

But really, it's okay. We swear on this podcast. It's fine. Do you know what's so funny is I'm like, I'm really authentic in majority parts of my life, but I swear a lot in real life. And I realized that I don't really swear a lot on this podcast, which is probably good. Yeah, it's probably like, there's probably toddlers in back seats that are like, ew they're using new words constantly. They're like, Evans just swore for the first time on the podcast. Just kidding. You've sworn before, but you went straight for the mother. I love it. You were like put on the mothership. Yeah. Like if you were a pilgrim right now you'd be on the. Would you be on the Nina, the Pinta or the Santa Maria?

I don't know. Santa Maria.

Is that. Was that the Pilgrims?

I think so.

Is that a band? I. I don't. I gotta. Or was that Columbus?

I think I should take some history. In my opinion.

Santa Maria. Who drove those ships? Is that Columbus?

Christopher Columbus sailed the ocean blue.

But when did the Pilgrims come?

They came recently.

We should start a band called the Pilgrims. Do you have another question?

Yes. I'm glad everyone got smarter from that. They're like, good God.

Turning this. There are history majors who literally just turned us off in their. Like, don't touch us, my fragile. No, not my fragile. My precious brain cells. Please. Don't all smart people have an accent like this? They do. And their noses are turned up.

Turned up noses. This is from @ the.

Mandolin. Oh, Mandolin Bay.

Mandolin. How do you know if the deep connection you feel for a person is good for.

You? You don't.

Yeah. You don't.

Know. You don't ever know. Welcome to Life School 101. Any everything or nothing is certain except uncertainty, my friend. But if you live by. There's a. You know what, Evans? Do you know what I've really learned about.

Life?

What? There is a set of principles and rules and beliefs that if you adopt them, they're going to make your life worthwhile and you're going to really extract, I believe all the lessons that are meant to come to you. So. So I hold the belief that everyone who has come into my world is there for a beautiful lesson, whether it is good or bad. But not all lessons can be good because you would not actually learn.

Any. Exactly. That's where you learn stuff. The hard.

Times. The hard times. People are like, oh, you know, I have so much faith and then something bad happens and I'm like, so where do you practice faith? Or where did you get to use it if you don't ever have a hard time? Like you can have faith when it's easy, but you don't actually know if you have it and you don't get to strengthen it until something goes wrong. That's where that like part time faith. Having faith. I always like to say that. 1 h a l v I N G. Halving.

Faith. Halving.

Faith. Are you having.

It?

Yeah. Or are you having.

It? Having.

It? That's my.

Question. So for connection, you just. You don't know how deep connection you feel for a person is good for you. Maybe doesn't make you feel.

Good. Yeah. Is it. Are you in an equal energy exchange? And also, in order to have a deep connection, you have to be super vulnerable. Because, you guys, I'm in the most amazing marriage ever. But does it mean it will be amazing forever? No. There are no guarantees. I have no idea. But I'm not going to hold back because I'm like, but what if. Oh, my God, what if for some reason this happens or something's going on behind my back or what? Like, those are risks you have to take when you are in a relationship. Like, I had. So I. When I was younger, I didn't. Like, I had some great friends, but they ended up being crappy friends. And then I started building a wall. It was like, okay, well, these people didn't really treat me that great, so I'm never gonna, like, really give my heart over and, like, give everything that I gave in this relationship. Because they were just takers anyway. Right. This was my opinion. Right. But clearly I wasn't showing up in a way that. That would have attracted a different side of their personality as well. Sure. So then I, later on, I end up making these incredible friends. And this one in particular, who I just, like, poured my heart into for, like, probably four years. And I was like, oh, my God, I'm so glad that I have this best friend. And we're so close and blah, blah, blah. And some serious shit went down, and she ended up breaking my heart into a million different pieces. And I was like, okay, new Wal wall. And built that wall even higher. And I was like, I'm never going to be friends with someone like this again. Well, guess what? I was the loneliest I had ever been. I wasn't letting people in. And this is where the Bliss Project came from. And this is where A Tribe Called Bliss came from. Because I was like, I can't walk through life like this with no friends and lonely. And, like, Evans is totally choking right now, so I might have to take the wheel. So. You guys, do you need to choke.

More? I think I got it.

Out.

Okay. I'm, like.

Purple. I'm like, I will cut this off right now if you need to choke more. So that's. You got to keep opening your heart. You don't know. But you know what? Go all in Knowing that your heart could be broken into a million pieces. And it's only going to teach you how to open up even more. And it's also going to teach you there might be something that you find out later about that person. There were some signs along the way that I was ignoring that I really should have known. So, like, you know, this person loves to gossip about people, and she didn't do it all the time, but it was still there. And I was like, oh, that should have been also a.

Sign. So, yeah, when people gossip, you're like, you're probably gossiping about me.

Too. Yeah, exactly. And it's the truth. So, you know, look at the signs. But also, don't take it so serious if there is something amazing there, because, oh, by the way, I would never take that back because I have learned. This person brought so much good into my life and brought so many valuable lessons. I still, like, I'm in a place where I can still freaking love this human, but that took me a really long time to be able to, like, love this person just in a different way. It's now with boundaries and all that stuff.

Right. Look how good it.

Became. Yeah. Came the best thing ever. And you learned so much and you grew so much. So let them in.

Evans.

Yes. What are you gonna do this week now with, like, now that you know you're moving on to something different? How do you feel? Because I feel free. Oh, whoa. You just hit someone pretty hard between the.

Eyes.

Yeah.

Yeah. Feel free. I don't feel so anxious. I feel like I'm. I'm. I was in the woods and I was on a little path and it was okay, but it was starting to get a lot of poison ivy on it. And then I'm like, oh, man, I gotta turn around. I gotta go on this.

Path. Oh.

Yeah. So I'm going on another path that's a little clearer, but still.

Woods. Here's the.

Thing. Have you ever.

You. You've been in the woods a lot. Yeah, Right. That's how it is. There's a lot of these little weird winding paths sometimes that you get off of the big path and you're like, wait, I'm not really sure how to get back to the big path. But you keep on taking other ones that feel a little bit more like they would lead you.

Back.

Yep. And you're. I'm from the woods. So this is literally how it works. And then you're like, maybe this wasn't it. Maybe this is maybe. And you're not sure. But eventually you get back to the main.

Vein. Right. Following those curiosities like Liz Gilbert.

Said. Yeah. Well, that's what you're doing, and I just think it's going to lead you to something.

Amazing. Thanks.

Lori. Oh, I know.

It. I know everyone out there is going to do something.

Amazing. I do.

Too. I can feel it in.

My. If they follow the.

Path. If you just. You know.

What? I think you have to get back to your. Your job that you're done.

With. I.

Do. So does that feel good? Like, I could probably just keep you.

Late. I know I could be.

Late. Be like, hey, I'm late. But she won't do that. She won't do that. She's too, like. Like, I don't know.

Too. You don't want to be.

Late. No, never. You don't want to be late for a very important date. Okay, guys, we're sending you so much love. Hopefully you enjoyed this podcast. Make sure you send your reviews, make sure you share. If you loved it, make sure you energetically send Evan some butterflies on this.

Path. Oh, thanks. I'm gonna send them right back to.

Y'.

All. Oh, wait, I have to tell you, the nicest girl sent me an Instagram voice.

Message. Shut your face. Tell me about it real.

Quick. It was amazing. It was so nice. Nice. I want to remember her name, but I was. She was like, you're probably never gonna accept this follow. And I accepted the follow and it was a really nice message. And I can't remember. My messages aren't pulling up, but it just made my day. And then I voiced her.

Back. I'm telling you, people have no idea what they're doing when they send nice messages or share your stuff or whatever it looks.

Like. So you made my.

Day. Yeah, well, you know, that's the power of connecting and sharing your.

Soul. Yeah. So go out there and tell someone something nice.

Today. For sure. And there was a time when you were probably like, what am I doing on this podcast? And now people are like, please, for the love of God, have Evans on the.

Podcast. And some of them are like, don't. But that's okay.

Too. Some of them don't want to hear my voice either, Evan. So don't you worry about it. I've read all the reviews. It's.

Fine. It's all.

Good. That's what makes me. You had, like, one bad one. I have, like, 20. It's.

Fine. It's totally.

Good. Until you have more than me. I'm not even high fiving you. I'm just high pying.

You. Yeah. High pie someone.

Today. All right, you guys, you heard it here first. High pie your friends. Okay.

Bye.

Bye. Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the Earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely, absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment, Tell us what you think. Tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again, guys. Bye.