426: When you KNOW you can't keep doing the same thing

But you have to look for it. And when you spot it, look up and say thank you God or thank you Universe or whatever you believe. Because you have to spot it and think it in order for it to keep coming. Welcome to the Earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn, own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Welcome back to the Earn your happy podcast. And it's time for another quickie because there's always time to fit in Inspiration and I was on my run this morning listening to a podcast per usual. Sometimes I listen to two to three of them, depending on the timeline during my run and something triggered just this moment of remembering back to before I had stepped into doing speaking and events and sharing my message. But I was out there doing some fitness competitions and things like that. I think I maybe had landed a couple of like layouts. So I hadn't, I don't think I had even yet had covers of magazines which when I say landed, I mean I hadn't yet pitched myself and gotten rejected a million times. That's a part of my story I always like to share because I think it's important for people to know that every single one of those 10 different covers that I got was because I scratched my way into getting them. Literally. I wish I could say it was a graceful thing and I attracted it, but I did not. I pitched every single one several times and got rejected so many times. So anyhow, I was on my run after being in the fitness world for a while, but before being in the self development world. And I was reading all the books and I was really looking at all of these different people and mentors that I wanted to be like and looking at these different up leveled groups of friends that I didn't yet have. And I was also still stuck in a lot of my old habits, like a lot of old sabotaging habits because I had noticed that when I would start to sabotage my life, the ways in which I would sabotage would be through my old ways of Sabotaging my old bad habits, which was binge eating, which was isolating myself, which was telling myself stories about why I wasn't good enough, which was going on social media and comparing myself and going down these rabbit holes and ending up on the couch, just, like, in this mess of my own stories and my own pain, like, bawling my eyes out by myself, going to the fridge, eating a crapload of food, making myself feel even worse, trying to fill a void was unfillable by external things and food and anything that was external. And I remember having these pivotal moments of, like, when your higher self comes in, and it's like, you. You have to stop this. You have to be the person to stop this. Like, nobody's. Nobody's coming for you. And sometimes that's the hardest place to be and the worst place to be because you're just, like, in your darkest hour, and you realize nobody's coming for you to take you out of that, and that you have to save yourself, and you just feel incapable of saving yourself. I don't even think I need to say I don't know if you've ever been there, because I know that you've been there. If you listen to this podcast, I know that it's because you're either in that place or you don't want to revisit that place, or. Or you are revisiting that place, but every time you revisit it, maybe it's a little bit better or maybe it's not, because I think the place just changes. Like, I think we remodel and redecorate, but the place can still feel awfully similar. And on my run today, I remember not only being in that place, but having this moment of saying, I can't ever have another Monday. Must have been a Monday that I brought myself back to. But I can't ever have another Monday like this again. Like, I can't go on knowing that my Mondays and the rest of my weeks are going to look like this. This is not the life that I can keep showing up for. I didn't even know what that meant, but I just knew. I cannot do another Monday like this, with these same thoughts in the same place, doing the same thing. Now, how does that actually translate? It's like, how do we pull ourselves from what feels like hell into a place that can look a little different the next Monday? And I think in that moment, that was when I figured out what Grace was. It was like, all right, well, you can't do it all at once. But what can you do to get yourself out of this situation right now? And how did you get here? And what if you started putting something in your calendar during these times that, you know, you kind of go into this really triggered place, like being alone in the afternoons and trying to get stuff done. This is not a good time for you. Like, this is always when you slip back in here. Or maybe it's the evenings. Maybe you could put a walk here. Like, how can you support yourself? And then I started thinking, what can I do to get myself out of this massive anxiety and panic attacks and this fear I have around getting my message out and speaking? And it was like, okay, well, can I do some sort of small event? Can I go to an event? Can I get help? Like, who is in this arena that could actually help me? And don't give up when you can't find it right away. Don't give up when you inbox everyone and they don't get back to you. That's a test. Don't give up. Start Googling. Is it an event? Is it a coach? Is it a book? Is it just walks with a friend? Is it walks by yourself? Is it walks with a podcast? Because sometimes all your friends are going to say no, because it means that you are required to get even stronger in that moment and that you're meant to just go for that walk alone. I thought of this today because I was thinking about when I also decided to really step in as a speaker. And it was a moment where I was out actually on a walk and I got an email and I was looking at all of the women in my arena who at the time it was Gabby Bernstein and Daniel laporte and Marianne Williamson and all of these Marie Forleo, all of these people that I was like, I know I am meant to be doing something like that, but I don't know how to do it. I'm not smart enough. I'm not good enough. But there's something in me that during those moments of like, maybe an amazing run or, you know, your favorite song comes on the radio and you're in your car and you can just see who you're meant to be. You can feel it. You can feel that part of you come through and you're like, I am meant for more. I can be great. I have greatness inside of me, but I don't know how to unlock it around people. I don't know what shape that would be in. I don't know what form that could take. And I was out on this walk or run or whatever it was, but it came through on my. An email came through on my phone and it was from Jack Canfield, who I followed at the time. And it said that he was running this three week train, the trainer program. And it was to help people who wanted to be speakers and teachers to be able to speak and teach and lead. And I was like, this is exactly what I need. And then I got to the bottom and I read the price and I was like, oh my God, this is exactly what I need. But I can't afford this. This is more than I've ever paid for anything in my entire life. Like, not only that, my husband is definitely going to say no to this. So I also knew in the same second that I had to do it. So I went into the mode of figuring out a way instead of figuring out why I can't and why I'm going to play victim on. My answer came, but I can't afford it. So I decided that I was going to make it happen no matter what. And from there on out, I did. I put it on a credit card. I convinced. I convinced my husband, I put it on a credit card. And I knew that at that point that I just created so much pressure for myself and so much accountability that I was so uncomfortable. I knew I couldn't back down, but I wanted to. I had so many days where I cried, where I thought, what the hell am I doing? Like, I can't believe I did this. Like, I'm gonna fail again. I never complete anything. What was I thinking? Except I created the right amount of pressure for myself because pressure is a privilege, right? There's a famous tennis player that says that. Oh, what's her name? I can't remember. But you guys, you can look it up. Pressure is a privilege. And oftentimes pressure isn't. The kind of pressure that's going to actually motivate us to stick to something isn't going to come unless we create it ourselves. So sometimes we're like, I'm so stressed out and I'm so pressured. Like, don't look at it like that. Of course it's there. But you can say, wow, this is really pushing me to my next level. Like, I put a lot on the line, right? I always say, put so much on the line that your higher self is forced to come out. And that's exactly what I did. My higher self knew to make that decision because I knew that I needed it and I knew it was who I needed to become. And I knew that that was going to be. I didn't have the tools. I needed to go find somebody who had the tools. So that's what I did. I showed up in that room. I was so freaked out. I didn't feel ready. I pretty much cried the entire time. The night before I went on the airplane, I told Chris I didn't know what I was doing. What was I thinking? This is insane. And I showed up, and I still showed up in the room the first day and pretty much wanted to cry the whole day. I was so shy. The entire first week, hardly anyone met me. They didn't really know who I was because I just stood in the back. And, yes, I had to do the exercises and yes, I had to partner up, but I tried to hide as much as I could, even within that room. And it wasn't until the second week that people were like, oh, my God, why didn't you say, like, what you did? Or that you were in fitness or, you know, why didn't you start sharing a part of your story? Because you have a great story. And I was like, what story? Like, my story sucks. Like, I'm afraid I have anxiety. Like, I have panic attacks. You know, I'm from this small town. I have nothing to share. And they're like, that's an amazing story. And the power of what I'm saying is you don't know your greatness and you don't know your capabilities until you test them out. And testing them in a safe space is not how you test out your capabilities. And I don't want you to do this if you are not called to this, if you're not called to leveling up, if you're not called to reaching your highest purpose, please take this podcast and just, I don't know, you can chuck it in the ocean, because it's definitely not speaking to you. Because I'm talking to the people who are ready to step into that next level of themselves. I'm talking to the people who are ready to level up because there are so many opportunities out there. And my friend and I decided that since we have run events and since, you know, my team and I Now do, like, 15 events a year, that's including Chris's masterminds as well. We knew that we wanted to teach people how to step into their calling and how to run events if they want, or how to do masterminds or how to do small workshops or how to get your message out there or how to be profitable with it. Because if I didn't have that training. And if I did not go to events, I would never be doing what I was doing because I did not have the group of people who supported me yet. And I didn't realize I had to create that for myself until I realized it. And I think a lot of you are realizing it right now. And whether it's this event that I'm talking about that I've created, I'm not sure if you've heard of it yet, but it's Event Love. That's l u v.com eventlove.com the reason that I created it is because I know that my purpose is to teach the next generation of speakers, leaders, teachers, people who want to create these safe spaces for people and these really connected, experiential, transformational experiences. And I don't know about you, but I've gone to so many events where I leave and I'm like, huh, that was kind of not necessarily super awesome and a bit of a waste of my time because it was not facilitated in a way that was a connected event. It's not that the event was bad and I'm sure I could have stepped in in a much bigger way and introduced myself to people and made it a goal to do that. And I do that a lot. But for the average person who hasn't done a lot of self development work or hasn't known to go with intention to events to go and meet people and force themselves out of their comfort zone, they're not necessarily going to do it. They're going to get in their car and they're going to go home afterward. And what we want to create is events where people have to connect, where people get dropped into their heart, where people leave and feel more fulfilled and changed afterward. And I fully believe that that can happen and that you can also be completely monetarily supported doing this work in the world. So event love was created from that place of knowing that we wanted to teach the teachers. I am so, so, so excited to be in the room with people who know they're called to be a teacher, a speaker, a leader, any sort of anything like that. And when I first went to this event, I did not have an event in mind. I didn't even really have a business, I had a fitness business, but I did not have a self development business yet. And I was like, I'm supposed to lead big events. Okay, what does that look like? So right when I with this program, my event was like one week later. And I can tell you that without it, it still would have went off, I'm sure it still would have been great. But because I had the experience in the room where I got to actually step into it, I understood and I felt so much more prepared because of it. So even if you've done events, we're going to be going over so many things that Lindsay Schwartz and I have learned through doing events, like right down to how do you protect your energy in the room, how do you walk through the hallways to get to the bathroom without getting involved in a conversation that could really drain you or that could really deeply affect you before you get back on stage? Or what does it look like to be really intentional with your event and create a theme for your event so people can understand exactly who is supposed to go to the event? Or what do you charge for your event and how do you plan backwards and how do you plan to make a profit? How do you know if your audience is even receptive to events? So many questions that people do not realize. How do you, how do you treat your speakers? How do you create speaker contracts? What does that look like? What are you supposed to cover? What do you want to do? What do you, you know, what do you want to do for them? I mean, it's literally endless that we have put this training on for one week. It's going to be a five day certification training program and it is going to be like a boot camp for anyone that wants to do this. It's going to really heavy on getting you into your zone of genius and figuring out how to be authentically you and share that message from stage. And we are going to make you share in the room, we're going to get you into groups, you'll be leading, you know, visualizations, you'll be speaking on stage, you'll be sharing your message, you'll be leading breakouts, you will actually be doing the work after we teach you how to do it and after we put you through it. And then the other half will also be how to learn to market yourself, how to manifest your own pr, how to, you know, share on social, how to get people involved, how do you do affiliates, all of that fun stuff. It goes on and on and on. Everything that we've done in order to make our events profitable. And between my team and Lindsay's team, we have over $4 million profited, not profited. We have grossed over $4 million in our events, which is absolutely amazing. So you can for sure support yourself throughout your, throughout your purpose, throughout your desired calling. You can absolutely do this. You can be fully Fully supported because the message wants to be supported. So something I want to mess it or that I want to say is if that triggered you at all. Just the thought of even making money off of being able to do your calling. You are meant to be highly, highly supported because without that message being supported, you cannot do it. So we'll also talk about that and getting really right with your mindset around all of that. We have so many amazing facilitators coming into this event. It's going to be mind blowing. We have my team, we have guest speakers. I'm not sharing them yet. My amazing husband Chris is going to be sharing on Money mindset, Lindsey Schwartz. And we have about four or five other guest speakers coming in to share their zone of genius. These are people who have been successful in this realm. So you guys, I really pray that we can be in the room with you. It's going to be a more intimate group. We're capping it off at about 60 people. So it will be a group where we get to drop in with everyone, talk to everyone, hear from everyone, have everyone on stage, get some epic stage shots for you guys. Get you used to and comfortable being on stage and facilitating and also answering every single question that you have. It's going to be some really hardcore intensive work and by the end you will feel like a completely different person because you will have a reference point for the rest of your life from practicing these skills in the room. So I just want to send you so much love in whatever you're doing, if this is not for you. Awesome. Amazing. That's fantastic. There's so many other modalities for you that are going to come your way and I know it. So if there's something that you know that you want to do, just keep your eyes and ears open. Because it's freaking crazy how staying wildly open actually brings that thing to you. I can't even tell you how much lately I have been like saying I'm wildly open to the way this outcome is going to come to me. And I'm like, I had no idea that this was going to open up. But you have to look for it. And when you spot it, look up and say thank you, God, or Thank you Universe or whatever you believe, because you have to spot it and think it in order for it to keep coming. So I know that if this is not your time or your training or this is, you know, something that you can't do, or the date is not right for your life, don't worry, something is on its way. And that is a belief that you have to hold in your heart. There are so many things that I'm like, oh, this date isn't working out. And I try to force it and it doesn't feel good. It's starting to feel crazy. And I'm like, you know what? There are times when that's important, to force it and make it happen. And you know it in your heart because you're supposed to be there. And then there are times where you just can't make it work and you feel sick and so sad. And that is when you get to practice abundance and say, you know what? That it's not the right time. And it's because it's keeping me open for another time or for something else. And then you have to watch for something else and say, oh, that's why.

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Always keeps me really grounded and keeps me feeling really safe and keeps me knowing that life is abundant and there's not just one chance, there's going to be multiple, multiple chances. So you guys, I'm sending you so much love. I really hope I get to be in that room with you. It is eventlove.come v e n t l u v.com and if you guys have any questions at all you can actually book a call on the website. If you're like 80% sure that you to go, you can book a call with Lindsay or I on the Eventlove website and I really really really cannot wait to get in this room with you. And right now there is early bird going on until September 30th. So the end of September is when the $1,000 off goes away. So right now it's $1,000 off plus a free ticket to the Bliss Project event and a free ticket to Lindsey Schwartz's live event Fall. So a free ticket to her powerhouse women as well. So that is over a 2000$2500 value if you purchase right now. So one week, it's going to be January 7th through the 11th. And how cool you guys will be getting your certificate of graduation on 1 11. I think that's awesome because I love numbers. And you will have made a group of women or people who are absolutely going to be on this journey with you. You're going to learn so many cool skills, you guys, we have so many awesome teachers coming to teach you incredible skills. Meditation, visualization, possibly some breath work, manifesting your own pr, all of that good stuff. So many cool things that are fantastic for any events, any current business that you have, anything, any event that maybe you work in corporate America that you want to add an events category to your. Maybe you're going to create a job for yourself, a new position for yourself within the company that you're already in. Maybe you have, like I said, a fitness business where you want to start doing retreats, or maybe you're a coach where you want to start doing masterminds, or maybe you're an artist. I know we have an artist already in the group who's going to start doing small workshops and help artists do different workshops to help them get paid. So they're going to teach these skills and pay them forward. You guys, it is is endless what you can do with this, and it's going to fill pretty fast. So go to eventluv.com to get the thousand dollars off for that early bird price for just a short time. By the time this comes out, you're only going to have a little bit of time left in order to do that. And it is in Phoenix in January 2020. That's January 7th through the 11th. So I can't wait to be in the room with you for five days. We're all going to be besties by the time it's done, and I hope that I get to see you there. And if you enjoyed this podcast, learning about this and if you're gonna go shout out on social media and let us know if you'll be in the room, what you're excited about, what you're nervous about and what you want to do with your life. Like, what is the end goal? How do you see yourself? Who do you see yourself as? So I want to start meeting everybody right now. We have an awesome group already who has joined in the Facebook group. You guys, these women are like, this is exactly the people that I was praying would show up in the room. And if this scares you, if this pushes you to your edge. Yep, say hi. It's where you're supposed to be. It should make you feel exactly like how I felt when I signed up for my training. So you guys, I'm sending you so much love and I can't wait to be in this room with you. Like, it is my life's purpose. It's my life's calling. So I can't wait to meet you and I'll talk to you soon. And you guys, until next time, earn your happy. Happy. Bye everyone. Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the Earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment. Tell us what you think, Tell us what you want to hear more of it would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again guys. Bye bye.