429: Side effects of following your calling

We're constantly battling with two voices and we have two different battles inside of us at all time, right? Our highest self and that self that's holding us back. And you are deciding who wins every single day by the thoughts that you think. Welcome to the earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn, own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Foreign. Welcome back to the earn your happy podcast. And it's time for another quickie, because there is always time to fit in inspiration and good lord, don't we need it on this journey? High five yourself. Have you ever high fived yourself? Like, here's how you do it, guys. You raise up your left arm above your head. Go for it. I know you're all doing it on a walk or in the car, maybe your kids are doing in the backseat. And then raise your right hand over your head and high five yourself because you're freaking awesome and you are doing the work. So even just the willingness starts to open up the universe in a vortex of energy and ideas. It's just the truth. You may think that sounds totally hokey, but it is the absolute truth. The second that you start saying that you are looking for answers and that you start seeking and you start reading the books and you start listening to the podcast and you start searching, you start to get your answers. They don't come in the timeframe that you want, but they come in the timeframe that you need. Because along this journey, you have to have patience, you have to have faith. And neither of those things would be you would be able to practice them or gain them if it did not come in the time in which it needs to come to you or that it will be delivered to you. So be patient and have faith. Because without people who are judging us, without people who don't have faith in us, we would never get to be able to develop and create that faith in ourselves. So be really grateful for the people who are challenging you and for the resistance in your life. Or you just move forward with what you have. And we know that you're not going to move forward with what you have right now or with the faith and the thoughts that you have right now. So you have to uplevel them because you're at the level of where your thoughts have been able to take you. So this is when we need to start tapping into other people, into books, into podcasts, into mentors, into bigger questions, and into different action. Because where you're at is going to stay where you're at unless something changes. Right? It's the quote. Nothing changes until something changes. So something has to change, whatever that is. A new action. And I talked a lot about. You are not dedicated or you have not yet decided until you've taken action around that decision. Until then, you're actually still in the same place. So you can say you've decided, you can say some you're going to do something, but until the actions match that decision, you actually haven't committed to moving forward, which, as Tony Robbins says all the time, I say this all the time because it is kind of my life motto. You got to burn the boats. You can't leave a crack in the window open, because when things get hard, you. You will get in that rowboat and you will go back to your safety of Coconut island, even though you know that there is a way better island out there. You'll be like, nope, I was fine with just coconuts, and it felt safe. And my rowboat will take me back, even though I know that there is, like, Paradise Island. I don't know, you guys. I'm just talking into a microphone in a room by myself. So this is what you get. So I want to talk about the side effects of not following your calling. But first, I also want to remind you that I am really, really, really, really, really, really, really stepping out into something that is stretching me beyond what I can tell you. And it is a calling of mine that I know was put on my heart actually quite a while ago, and I'm finally stepping into it. And that is to help train the future speakers and leaders of tomorrow and to know that this is your calling. And I really, really have a call to be in the room with the teachers. Like, I want to train the trainers. I want to teach the teachers. And this is scaring the crap out of me because it's essentially training my peers to really step in and tap into their genius. And this is stretching me beyond what I can tell you because it is making me step up in my life so much more to Gather the correct people to put you through the correct exercises. And we're doing that. And also to go into a collaboration like I've never done before with a friend of mine named Lindsay Schwartz. So we have created something for you called event love. It's eventluv.com and it is a five day certification program to help you gain confidence, help run profitable events and to truly step into your calling and show you how you can use this and to add events to your current business or make it your business model. And this is exciting because I know it's so many of your call and it's scary because we all have to get out of our own way in order to do this. But first I want to talk about the side effects of not following your calling. And I just put out a post and I'm like, really? In this right now? Because you guys, it's so ridiculous the things that we do to ourself. But also it's so human. So it's important for us to have grace on ourselves. So everything that I tell you guys, we're not going to be able to move forward without first, recognizing what we're doing that's holding us back. And then second, when we do observe it and recognize it, to just have massive grace and know that this is the human experience. Like we're constantly battling with two voices and we have two different battles inside of us at all time, right? Our highest self and that self that's holding us back. And you are deciding who wins every single day by the thoughts that you think. You're deciding who wins this battle every single day by the thoughts that you think and who you're surrounding yourself with and what action you're taking. I need you to know this so it's the first thing that you can do to get out of your way. Because what can happen is sometimes we, we're going to get attention and we're going to take action in areas every single day no matter what. And we're going to get attention in either a positive way or a negative way. And we're either going to do that by being a victim and telling ourselves a victim story and sharing with everyone why we can't and staying stuck and saying how bad our job is or how much we don't like the people our life or how we don't have the support or how our family is holding us back. Or you can have that same exact story and get yourself positive attention and love by connecting with people who are outside of that circle and saying, even though you have this past or you have this current life. Here's the reason why you must, and here's how you're going to do it, and here's what you're doing. Like I always tell you guys, I beg to differ, that the harder your life and your journey has been, the. The bigger your calling and purpose might be. I'm not saying you don't have a huge calling and purpose if you've had it an easier life. But I am saying that you are going to really resonate with a lot of people who have not had an easy path. And you're also going to have some serious skills of how to overcome once you get to that place. So how do you want to get your attention in a negative way? Right, because we're humans, we all crave love and attention in a negative victim way, or do you want to do it in a positive Victor way? And it's always the choice that goes on. So side effects of not following your calling, resentment of yourself, of the people that you love, of other people who are inspirations on Instagram or in your life or influencers. Anger, anxiety, isolation, comparison and depression. This is how this came up for me. I would just keep telling myself a story because it was familiar and it would get me back to that old familiar place of tears. Massive anxiety, panic attacks, isolation, comparison and depression. And until one day I woke up and I couldn't freaking take another Monday like the last one. I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it. It was too small. I felt like I was in a. A prison in my own mind. Even though I had all of this freedom, as I looked around and I knew I was doing it to myself. And that is the worst place to be is when you know you have locked yourself away because of yourself, because of your thoughts and because of your choices. And the only way to get out of that is to remove one bar at a time, right? One prison bar at a time, one thought at a time, one thing at a time. And massive grace. Like, yes, you're here, but you won't be here much longer. And I'm so proud of you because take note while you're here, because these are the people that you're going to be talking to. So this is the most beautiful R and D, this is the most beautiful research right now that you could possibly do on your journey. This is the most important research that you could do on your journey is to really take note of how you're holding yourself back. What you're saying right now what are the thoughts? Who are you around? What are you eating? These are all the things that need to start changing because this is what's keeping you in this mental prison. Let's talk about the side effects of moving forward, of following your call. Constant discomfort. I mean, every single day you feel stretched. Massive fear. Incredible new connections that overwhelm you to the point where you didn't really understand what going into the rooms that scared you could do for you. It will give you chills. It will make you cry. It will remind you that you are connected to God or energy or source or something bigger than you could ever imagine. New friends that see you, like, truly see your greatness and pull that out of you no matter what. Friends that don't let you hide. They will make you angry sometimes because they won't let you hide. But you will be so grateful for them in the end because these are the people who show up for themselves in turn, being able to show up for you. You will find mentors that inspire you, that remind you of the life that you want to live. You'll have doubt every single day. Every single day, you will doubt yourself and you'll create a ritual around doubt. Maybe it's a prayer or a walk or a meditation reminding you to tap into your highest self. You'll have fun. Like the type of fun that it's a day that you're like, wow, I will remember this day when I die, like on my deathbed. I will remember how delicious and juicy this day was. I will never forget how fun this was and how much I liked who I was on this day. Rewards beyond your wildest dreams. Whatever you're thinking right now, that's going to happen when you step into your call, like that big, exciting thing, it's better, like, literally times that by a thousand, if not more, because there's an energy you haven't even tapped into yet. And there's a connection to your creator that you don't even understand what it feels like until you truly step in and lean into faith and use that thing that he or it, or whatever you believe has promised. And you can't use it until you take action during the fear and during the doubt that will come into you when you are either on stage or doing that thing that scares you. And you won't even know what is happening because it is a feeling that is unexplainable. And you will strive for that feeling more and more. And it's what will keep you going into the doubt and fear again and again and Again and it will keep showing up for you. You're going to lose people. Yes, it's a side effect of following your call. You're going to lose people and they're not going to leave in a good way. Typically, they leave in a huff. They leave upset with you. They leave thinking that you think you're better. They leave thinking that you're abandoning them. But as long as you invite them along and as long as you tell them why it's so important that you do this so that you don't resent people, so that you do honor your calling, so that you do have such. You are having legacy and you are paying it forward and you are breaking your family legacy into something that is so much better, that it is your turn and your call to step up and change your family tree and your family legacy, then hopefully they understand. But they won't always and they will probably leave in a huff. And it is your job, when you follow your call, to make peace with letting it be okay that they left without understanding why and completely twisting what your intentions were and what you were doing with your life. You will learn boundaries that create so much space for the things that want to come through. You won't even understand the things that are coming through. But they will make you laugh out loud and you'll say, of course, of course this is my next step. Or of course this miracle is happening right now. It will make you laugh out loud. That may sound so weird to you, but you'll be like, of course this is happening. Because this is what happens when you trust. Miracles happen everywhere. You'll have stress of new problems to solve. And I want you to remember when these come up and they feel like they are crushing you, that you had the same exact thing on the other side when you weren't following your call and it had no reward. But on this journey to following your call, nothing is wasted. It is all being used in your evolution. You'll be able to employ people and your new following most often whenever you're stepping in. You need people along the way. And when you step into your call and you truly do it and you show up every day and you become consistent, money follows because it's energy. And you can pour this money into people who have a vision like this or share a vision like this or share a vision of support, you're literally creating a purpose and a place for other people. You'll be able to give back more. You'll be able to put money into the economy. You'll be able to help your family out if you choose to do that and you'll have fulfillment beyond anything you could ever imagine.

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So, you guys, neither of these lists keeps you from pain, but one obviously has a reward that at the end of your life, you're not going to be on your deathbed and looking at your family and saying, I wish I would have shown you what I was. I wish I would have shown you what you could do. I wish I would have done the thing. How many lives were not impacted because I didn't show up? Because no matter what you believe at the end of your life, here's what I Here is what I know for me when I have that moment with my creator. And he, she, it asks, what did you do with your gifts? I am not gonna stand there and say, I know you gave me everything that I needed, but I didn't have faith in you and I didn't use them. That's not gonna be my answer. I'm gonna say, I wore this out. Like I wore out every single gift that you gave me. I was unclear, I was uncertain. I felt bad. I wasn't sure what I was doing. I didn't know if I was right. I was afraid I was hurting people sometimes. But I just kept following that little nudge that you would send down every single day when I would do my rituals. I just kept following that little nudge that you would send down every single day when I was doing my rituals. And I stayed committed to the rituals that I knew connected me to you. And that's all that I can do. That's all that I could do, and that's all that I did. So my prayer for you is that you create the life that calls your highest self forward. You create a life that you cannot hide from. That is my prayer for you. You guys, I'm sending you so much love today. I'm so grateful for you. And if you feel that call, I know that I created Lindsay and I created event love exactly for you. If this is in your heart, so go Check out that website because if I'm being called to it, I know it's because it's answering and helping with other people's calls. And this is exactly what you'll need to do. I'm telling you this journey because I'm freaked out and that's exactly how you're going to feel. I think so many of us just think we have it on lockdown. Like, oh, they're putting this out or that out. You guys have no idea what goes into it. And I want to share all of that. So go to eventlove.com and just go check it out. May or may not be for you at all. But either way, you guys know I bring on incredible people onto this podcast to try to match you up with the mentors that you need. So all I want to do is show up and connect people to their purpose and the way to get there. So you guys, thank you so much. Like, these cookies are probably my favorite thing to do outside of talking to Evans on the Q and A. If you don't listen to those, we answer all of your questions in the most ridiculous of ways. So if you aren't into really weird, awkward humor, don't listen to those ones. But if you are, we are creating a really awesome little space for all of us weirdos to unite. And we also give away things for review of the week and shout you out on there. So you guys, thank you so much. And until next time, earn your happy. Bye everyone. Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment. Tell us what you think, Tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to help helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again, guys. Bye. Bye.