430: Get more by doing less with Kate Northrup

Hi, everyone. I'm so happy you've tuned into the show. Whether you have listened before or you're brand new, I'm so grateful for you. You have no idea. And this episode is brought to you by my Become Aligned course. And podcasts are amazing. And I know that you know that because you guys all listen to them, and I do, too. And sometimes they are not necessarily enough because while we're listening, sometimes we're passively listening and we're not actively listening. So the reason that Chris and I. Chris is my husband. The reason we've created this course is because we get asked so many questions outside of the podcast on how we started living the life that we live now. A life of happiness, of abundance, of really understanding that life is always full of problems every single day, but there's always a solution. And how do we shift back into a mindset that's going to keep us happy, keep us together, keep us successful, and keep us in thriving relationships? And that is what our, our Become Aligned course is about. You guys, we cover everything from mindset to the rituals that we do every single day. We talk about different energy sources that's really gonna provide you with lasting energy. We talk about your purpose and what that actually means, what it is and how it's ever changing. We're gonna tap into your beliefs, we're gonna show you how to build a tribe to support where you're going. And we're definitely going to talk about wealth, abundance, money, all of the good things, and how to sustain all of this. Because while, like I said, POD are absolutely awesome, you don't necessarily sit down and actually write out a plan for yourself. Because as much as I can sit here and tell you on the podcast, what we do and how much, how many different people that I can interview, it's important that you actually learn how to apply these things in your own life. So if you've been listening for a while and you are ready to go deeper and you really want to get some direct training and be able to dive into your life and yourself and your mindset, this is the course for you. I don't know about you, but I absolutely have points in my life where I don't know where I'm going. I don't know what I'm doing. Sometimes I hit walls where I don't necessarily feel happy anymore, and I haven't sat with myself long enough. I haven't really let myself think. I haven't written out how I actually feel. And so many people who took this course said that it was completely life changing and they revealed a lot of things about themselves, about them, about their. About their relationships that they weren't really looking at or they were avoiding. And it's about having those tough conversations, not only with other people, but really with yourself and knowing that you have the tools and the access to the tools. And we're going to teach you all of the tools that you need not only to move through things, but to actually thrive on the other side. So, you guys, I would love for you to join the aligned community. It's such a special group of human beings and you get lifetime time access. This is nine different modules where you're going to be working through each area of your life at your own pace. So you might need something on abundance, you might need more on, you know, money, you might need more on your purpose on your tribe. This is where you can really go deep on exactly what you need and make sure that you're not missing any of your blind spots. If you are feeling stuck or if you are wondering how everyone is doing it and how they're managing it all. This is a truly honest course about how to have a thriving life and manage and deal with all of the different problems that do come up in your life and understand that not everyone is going to support you and not everyone is for you and you are not for everyone. And that's okay. It's finding your people. It's forgiving yourself. It's creating a life of abundance and choosing your own purpose and your happiness. So, you guys, you can go to becomealigned.com that's becomealigned.com and you guys know that because you're listeners, I'm gonna give you an awesome deal and an awesome discount and I cannot wait to see you in that community. And also let me know if you join because it is such an awesome, awesome community. And also I'm really proud of this course. Chris and I poured our heart and our soul into this. Everything that we've done, everything that we've learned, we've invested so much into ourself that this is everything that we have applied in our lives. And if you want to know how we've done it, we put it all on the table. We've put it all in this course. So if you want to know, go check it out@becealigned.com so let's get into the show.

When I come from a place of how can I make money, it's an immediate no go. Now, that doesn't mean to say that My goal in business is not making money. It absolutely is. And I'm all about making money. There's nothing wrong with that, but that can't be like the primary reason I'm doing something.

Welcome to the earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn, own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Welcome back to the show. My guest today is Kate Northrup. She is an entrepreneur, a best selling author, she's a speaker. She is a mother of her two daughters, Penelope and Ruby, and with her husband Mike Watts, they have built a multimedia digital empire and they're committed to supporting ambitious women light up the world without burning themselves out in the process. Which sounds amazing to me and I'm sure sounds awesome to you. She teaches a data driven and soul driven time and energy management practices that result in saving time, making more money and experiencing less stress. She has a membership of over 1000 entrepreneurs called the Origin Collective and it's about infusing more feminine energy into your business and reclaiming your time. She's also helped over 5,000 students heal their relationship with money in her signature Money love course. She also has her first book, money A love Story. And right now she has just come out with another book that I love. I actually got to go to her book tour at Wanderlust in Hollywood, which is an event space and the book is called do less which is pretty tantalizing like do Less. Yes please. But we talk all about how we wear busyness as a badge of honor and how we need to change that. We talk about how, how to have more by doing less and living by rhythms, cy seasons. We talk about time and energy. We talk about how we can enjoy the winter seasons, enjoy those times of maybe procrastination or when we don't feel awesome. We talk about boundaries and so much more. If you are someone who is really craving more in your life but is maybe afraid of the work involved or the complete overwhelm, we also get into a point during the podcast where we really Talk about simplifying. So make sure that you stay until the end, because I'm telling you, there is so much wisdom throughout. So let's get started. Kate, I'm excited to have you on the show. Thank you for coming on today.

Thank you for having me.

Oh, my God. Okay, so this is actually really exciting for me because I have been wanting to just be able to sit down and talk to you and also hear about everything with your book tour, because I got to go see you when you were in Los Angeles.

Well, I just. I would like to take a moment to acknowledge you in front of your audience. I don't know if they know how generous and incredible you are. What happened is. Can I tell the whole. Can I tell the story? Of course. So what happened is, it was. So you were totally a book angel. An angel for my whole. Well, book angel, we'll just call you a book angel. What happened is I got this crazy idea to do a book launch in la, like, two weeks before I was going to be in LA and two weeks before the date. And I don't know why, I just was. I felt this. I felt intuitively guided, and I don't even usually talk that way, but I really did. I felt guided. And so I buffed it at Wanderlust Hollywood. And. And then I realized, like, I don't know anyone in la. I've never lived there. It's not like I have some robust. Had I done it in New York, you know, I could fill in space. But LA is a very different market. You know, I've never lived there. I don't understand it. And I was like, we launched the ticket sales and we had like, we sold like nine tickets. I was like, oh, my God. Which then I really realized, okay, well, what's the worst case scenario? The worst case scenario is I show up and really deliver for a group of nine people. And I was like, actually, that's fine, so I'll just. So I. Because I had debated, should I cancel? And then I was really in that debate and I got a DM from you on Instagram that was like, hey, I saw you were doing this book launch at Wanderlust Hollywood. Just so you know, like, LA is kind of weird and people come last minute. And I was kind of freaking out before my book launch and we, you know, totally sold out within the last 24 hours. I don't remember what your numbers were exactly.

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Right? But it felt like the. I. You just felt like this little wink from the universe, because it was. And then I asked our mutual friend Amber Lillistrom. I said, oh, Amber, did you mention to Lori that I was freaking out? She said, no, I did not. I just assumed that Amber must have mentioned I was freaking out and that's why you messaged me. But the fact that you just messaged me out of the kindness of your heart from a business sister to say like, hey, in case you are freaking out, I was freaking out. And here's what I learned and here's what happened. And it made me feel so much less alone. And then, as you said, what ended up happening is because of people like you who brought like 10 people with you, which was so amazing. We had, I think we had 70 people there on the night of, which was so. It just, it was incredible. And you know, from nine ticket sales to then having 70 people in the room was so great. And then the waves from that through social media, et cetera, have been really beautiful. And it, it meant a lot to me. So I just want to say thank you.

Oh, my God, I'm so happy that that happened. And I was like, oh, my God, you're coming to the West Coast. And then I was like, let me just tell you about the west coast, though.

Yeah, right, Exactly. Because, like a girl from Maine, you know, I live in a small town in Maine. If something, if something is happening, people commit because there's not that much happening. That's so great.

Right?

So.

So we're like, oh, we are in. Yep. Yes.

Yeah.

Really different. Really different.

So I had, you know, when I went, because, you know, I had toured all over and when I went to or when I was selling tickets, I'm from the Midwest, so I'm like, you know, when, when something comes in the Midwest, it's exactly like that. You're like, oh, my God, something is here. We're going. It's like you sell out and people are excited. And out here I was just like, it Is a. Oh, okay. I see how this works. Like, there's. You're just competing with so much stuff. People make decisions differently here. They just make them more last minute because there's always something. So I was like, in case your tickets came in, like, mine came in. Don't worry, they'll come.

Yeah, yeah. And so I trusted. And they did, and you were right.

I'm so, so happy to hear that because I have to tell you, I had so many women that I did not even know, like, come out of the woodwork for me and just, you know, in. In places where they were not selling. Like, I had a few different areas that I was like, oh, this is so interesting. I think Atlanta was like that for me too. And I had a couple people in Atlanta just randomly come out of the woodwork for me, and I was like, oh, this is. This is my time where I can help repay that. So thank you for letting me also be a part of that because it was so much fun. And this book is amazing because I brought it right home and I read the whole thing and it's awesome and I love it and I'm obsessed with it because I think it's so important and it does help us just kind of get back to. I don't even know how to even tell you. Get back to who you are. Get back to being like, oh, my God, I completely forgot who I was and what feels good and what works well, because, you know, I was coming off the heels of not doing less.

Actually, so many of us are.

When I got this book, I was actually, like, it was confirmation for me because I was. This message was coming through for me already and I was starting to live it. So it was actually the perfect timing. But yes. Of coming off the heels of like, doing literally. Kate, like, literally doing everything. I had a year of. I call it my buffet year, where I just frickin sampled all of it and I was like, I don't even.

Know what to do.

So I would love. I just want to know, like, where. Because, you know, a book is like the message for a book. I know how they come through. So I would love to hear how yours came through and why this message is important to you.

Yeah. So I actually. So you were there at the very birthplace of this book, which was also Wanderlust Hollywood. It's the first time you and I met. Well, we've only met twice, and both of them were at Wanderlust Hollywood. And basically a couple months before that talk I had given at. It was called Awe, it was like a women's entrepreneurship event there that they put together. I had just been writing this blog post because I had gotten my period back after having my first daughter and I had gotten really into tracking it for my first time in my whole life. I was one of those women who we would be out and I would be like, oh my God, I got my period. We have to go to Rite Aid. Like, I don't have anything with me. I mean, I was, hello, like, you've only been getting this every month since you were 12. Maybe you might carry a tampon or something. Nope. And so I was just one of those women who was pretty. For a person who's very much in my body, I've been an athlete and really into health and super paying attention to my body in a lot of ways. I was pretty out of touch with my cycle when it came back after I had my daughter. And I hadn't had it for a very long time because I lost it before I got married because I did a super intense fitness and nutrition program where I lost so much body fat that I lost my period, which was a bummer. And there was a lot tied up in that, which we may or may not address today, but. And then I got pregnant, you know, once it came back once and I got pregnant. So I hadn't had it for a long time and it was so exciting when it came back. And what's so like the long story short is I had had a fallow period creatively since my last book, Money A Love Story came out. And I had felt I had a lot of judgment around that for myself. I felt like my contemporaries were growing, they were having the next big idea. Many of them were publishing books who I had published. We had published our first books all at the same. Had already published the next one and then the next one after that. And they were like out there having big ideas and making waves. And I just felt like, what am I doing? What is wrong with me? Why am I. Why don't I have anything I want to say or give? Where's the next idea? And oddly, it was very much in tune with what was going on with my body, which is that for a long time in there, a, I wasn't cycling and B, my creativity was going elsewhere, which is that I was planned this epic wedding and then I got pregnant and I had a baby. And so the creativity was there, it was just going elsewhere. And then when my period came back, it was like this return to myself after having essentially devoted, you know, My body had been occupied with growing and feeding this human being. And then it came back, and with it came this whole obsession with my cycle. And then with learning about cycles, and then with learning about the moon, and then with learning about the seasons, and then with studying creativity. And I was all of a sudden like, oh, my God, women need to know this. I need to tell women this, because for the first time I realized, oh, that period of being creatively fallow was just. It was just a winter. I was just in a winter. There's nothing wrong with that. And we all know that after winter, come spring, every single year, we don't worry about it, it's just coming. And so I started to understand that so much of the time we spend beating ourselves up, specifically as women, is because our culture only celebrates the traits of the masculine, which are beautiful traits that I embody as well, but that they are forward, action, movement, progress, growth, things you can see. And yet there's this whole other side of everything, which is the qualities of the feminine, which is about the experience. It's about the process. It's more of an inward journey. It's a bit more mysterious. It's the fallow period. It's the. It's the, like, less, essentially. And so basically all of that happened around a time in my life when I was forced to slow down in our business because I was having kids. And through all of it, what was so miraculous is that when I had my first daughter, I was exhausted while I was pregnant, I cut my work hours in half. And then after she was born, we only had. We. We took parental leave for three months. And then we only had 10 hours of childcare a week. And she was really sick and she didn't sleep, and it was super stressful. It was like a terrible year in many ways. Even though she was a blessing, it was like really hard. And. And yeah, for the amount we reduced our work hours, our revenue didn't decrease. And we thought, okay, what is going on here? Why were we working 50 plus hours all this time when we could have made the same revenue working significantly less? And so that's what I began studying, because I figured if we could do that by accident, we could do that on purpose. And that is where the book came from. That was a very long answer to your question.

Oh, you're speaking to the queen of long answers and loving long answers. So I'm like, oh, where's the rabbit hole? Let me go down there with you. It's gonna be so fun. Okay, so what I'm kind of hearing is. It's almost like learning to love those areas. Those like the winters and the periods of sometimes where you're procrastinating, you don't even know why you're procrastinating. And I'm also, you know, I'm really interested to ask you about. Yes, you were working a lot of hours and I also know you have a network marketing background, right?

Yes.

So you guys were doing that together while you were kind of. You have some other businesses going on as well. How did you, like, you know, I can hear work less and I can hear 10 hours or working less than you were. But how did that actually translate? Like, how did you compartmentalize or get that down and realize you're doing the same things? Like, how did you realize the actions that were most important?

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Well, I will say it happened a little bit just by necessity. And I, I wasn't being particularly analytical about it, which is that. But I will tell you what I learned after I started to analyze it. So in the moment, I was just so tired, I literally couldn't work more than was absolutely necessary. And so I just automatically only did the things that were absolutely necessary, which were continuing to create content, writing copy and doing, like doing our promotions. Like what. What was actually necessary in order to bring money in the door and keep our. Keep in contact with our community. And when I looked back, that was very much pareto's principle, it was the 80 20. And I, and I applied it automatically, which is that my 80 20, the 20% that gets me 80% of the results is creating content and connecting with people. And I did an analysis which I had never found a practical application for how to do, like how to actually come up with a list of your 20%. Of course, a million different people talk about the 8020 rule, but I was like, yeah, but how do I actually get a list? And so I came up with a way to do it and I wrote about it in the book. And when I did the analysis myself, I realized, oh, wow, okay. So it's. If I look at my biggest wins in business, they have been all precipitated by creating content and connecting with people every single time. So essentially, if I am doing something other than either of those things, I am wasting my time. And when I was pregnant, I just couldn't do anything else because I was so tired that I just only did those things. Things and the rest, of course, because then there's, you know, of course they're still like uploading the blog or, you know, there's stuff, there's graphic design, there's little things that have to happen. There's admin stuff, there's customer service emails. And at that point in our business, we did have one part time, I think two part time people who worked with us. So we did have some, some wiggle room to delegate.

Did you find that you were delegating more though? That you were like, okay, since I have to, I'm going to just give this up quicker Because I think that's.

Where we were delegating more. Yes, I was delegating more. But here's what was most important. We just, it's like hard to grasp this. We just did less. Like, we just were like, oh, given that Kate can barely function, do we really need to do that project? No, we don't. And so that's where, as entrepreneurs, I think so many of us get stuck, myself very much included. I am so enthusiastic and I want to do all the things all the time because they sound exciting. And for a woman who writes about working less, I love to work. I love it. I don't have any problem working 50 hours a week. Like, give it to me. I mean, I find it energizing. I love it. However, when I became a mom, I was like, oh, there's these little people here now, you know, and also there's my husband and there's my neighborhood and there's my parents. And it's like, oh, I don't have all the freedom I used to have, so how am I going to create boundaries? And so we have a whole philosophy in our company which is to apply the Do Less filter to everything, which is when we are embarking on a project, for example, we just were. We're doing this revamp of our membership origin. And as we had our project planning meeting, we really asked, okay, well, because it's usually me where I'll be like, we could do this, and then we could do this and then we could do this, and then Mike or somebody else on our team reminds me to apply the Do Less filter, where we say, could we get the same result through doing fewer action steps or in a simpler way? And a lot of the time you can. And you can take, like, you know, 10 tasks just completely off the list.

I'm kind of doing that filter right now with a couple things in my life, and it's so true. And just, like, I've been challenging myself. So it's essentially your entire book, like, really challenging yourself because we get stuck in that old story. So I'm creating a program that in the beginning, seems super fun, and I'm creating it with another woman because I was like, I don't want to do this alone anymore. And the second that, you know, we've been challenging each other with this, like, concept of doing less. Like, when we think it's going to be hard or it's going to be a lot of work, we're like, what's essential? And this can be fun. It's like a totally different lens and filter than going with, like, this is hard. We need to do all this. It's almost like the work. I know, it's so bizarre, and I know you know this, but saying it out loud, it's like the work doubles. If you don't apply the filter, it's automatically.

Yes, automatically. Because we have all been programmed to believe that more is better. And our whole culture celebrates being busy as opposed to being effective. Because when you're effective, you actually have a lot more free time. And then you have to just sit with, well, who am I if I'm not doing something? Who am I if I'm relaxing? And a lot of I will say something I didn't really write about in Due west because, I don't know, you just can't put everything in there is that. I think a lot of us stay super busy because there are things we don't want to feel that we have to feel if we stop being so busy. It's just. It can be such a numbing strategy.

Yeah, completely. It's an addiction. I was completely addicted to it. I still see that I. That I am in certain ways, for sure. So I want to ask you about that. There's this weird spot where when you start saying no and you actually start getting free time and you feel really good and you're doing some things that you want to be doing. I have noticed that it was easy to say no when I was busy. And now, you know, I live in Los Angeles. Like, there's. There are so many people who come and visit here. Like, literally, I get asked to do something almost every day. And that's not like, oh, I get asked to do something.

It's.

No, totally. You live in la, so people will always be through this airport or they're coming, visitor. There's always something. There's always something to do. And whether it's, you know, I know you're being asked for podcasts and interviews and all of these things. Like, how do we. Now that we have this space, it's almost like we feel guilty for having this. This space and still saying no and guarding an empty space. How do we guard empty space without feeling bad and making sure that it stays just clear?

I love that question. Well, I wrote a list back last summer. My husband and I were having a really hard time. I had complications with the birth of our second daughter. Mike was extremely ill. There were just some strange things going on behind the scenes with. With some people in our industry. It was just a weird. It was just a weird time. There's weird things going on politically and in the world, which there always are. But it just seemed like at that time, for whatever reason, probably because I was hypersensitive after, you know, after the birth of Ruby. But anyway, I sat one day in my office and I made a list of my real friends, and I made a list. It was like. It's like 12 people. And I made it in the back of a journal. Like, I was like, I was, you know, a preteen. And I treasure that list because these are the people that get my time. These are the people that get my time and energy. Now, does that mean that I'm not also cultivating new relationships? Of course I am, all the time. A, I love people. B, I love making new friends. See, I love, you know, it's important for my business to be meeting new people and cultivating relationships. And I know that I have a list of people who, anytime, day or night, I will drop everything and do anything for them. And that list is short, and it has to be because, you know, I've got kids, I've got a husband, I've got a body that needs care and taking for, you know, in a business. And so. So we just. I think that I've really cultivated this mindset of going deep rather than going wide. And I want to go really deep with this smaller group of people, while also. Because also that then allows me to do the other things I want to do, which is cultivate new relationships, you know, which is have. Have coffee with a. With a potential new friend in New York or something, but only after those core relationships have been tended to. So that's just there. The other stuff is kind of like a bonus.

Yeah, yeah, that makes a lot of that.

I.

Right when you said that, I'm like, oh, I need to make a list. My Chris and I are really helpful. Yeah, we are in that phase of like, okay, we. We're feeling the exact same way. Because I think when you are building. So this is another. This. This will go into another question for you. When you are building a business, and especially if it's based on networking or getting things out there or really connecting with people and, you know, just building something where you're also building other people's businesses as well. How do we. Because I don't know if I could go back to the time where I was so incredibly busy, like, every, you know, building businesses, and go back and tell myself this same message without having to have gone through the pain of being that busy and connecting all the time. Is it possible, or do we have seasons where it's like you're riding on the rocket ship, you're breaking through the atmosphere, and you have no other option? Is that true?

I think that that is true. I think that I had many people for many years tell me about the importance of slowing down and having more space in my life, and I just wasn't ready to hear it until my body forced me to. And that's okay. You know, it is. It's okay. And I have to remind myself all the time. I mean, this morning I had a relatively free schedule. The girls are back at daycare after four days home for vacation. And I could feel how much I just wanted to, like, sit down and tackle my to do list and just get into it. But I also know that if I sit down and I meditate and I take some space for myself, the quality of my work is so much better. And so even though. Even though like, it's such a small thing. It's like 10 minutes. I still have to talk myself into it every time. Same with working out to say, okay, Kate, this 30 minutes invested in getting a sweat is going to make the quality of your work hours so much better. And if it means that you work, you know, two hours instead of three hours, because you know, by the time the workout and then the shower. Right. So if you work two hours, you will get more done in those two hours because you devoted an hour to your body than you would have in three hours without that time for your body.

Oh, it's so true. So since the book has come out and this message has come out, I know that there's this point. Well, there was for me. So I want to hear if it happened for you where you think it's this message and it is this message of do less, but once it's in the hands of people and, like, the conversations are out, like, what is the conversation and idea that really came through for you after you start. Started to see it, like, applied and how people are responding and how you're feeling with it out in the world.

I love that question. So, yeah, I mean, it does these things. These books have lives of their own, and there's what we think they're going to be, and then there's what they actually are because there's only, you know, it lives in my head, and then it's this whole other thing. So this book is about women's bodies, which is so weird. I didn't think that that's what this book was about, but this book is about women coming home to their bodies as a source of energy, inspiration, creativity, wisdom, and the fuel for our best work. And I'm so excited about that conversation. I mean, the thing that's been blowing women's minds the most has been the whole conversation around our cycles and planning and how women are cyclical, not linear, and how that's different than a man and how our whole world has been set up for the way men's bodies work as opposed to for the way women's bodies work, which, P.S. is not. That's like, not new information, but it's just yet another place where, you know, feminism can. Can come through. And so that's been a very fun conversation. And I've spent a lot of time talking about periods, which is not what I expected.

But it's so powerful. You know what's. It's been crazy because you just made me remember what has stuck, what really stuck with me after Hearing you speak on your book tour was you had talked about. I think you even did it with your hand. Like you said, it's not like a straight. You know, it's not a straight line. It's like every single day is like a loop. Like, every single day is a circle. And I've actually been using that in my life. And even talking to Chris, like. Like, who's my husband, and just talking about how every day is a full circle. So because we've been in this space of because tough things happen every single day in your business does not make it a tough day. And that has been like, I know that's not necessarily applied exactly how you were saying it, but that's actually been one of the most freeing things for me to remember. You know, the day's a circle. Like, you're gonna experience everything in that day, and it's not gonna be like, today was a good day, tomorrow's a bad day. Oh, we had two good days. Like, it's been so powerful to know, like, there's everything in one day and life is a circle. And that was actually, like, profound for me, even though it sounds so like, oh, of course. But it was like, I don't know, it was just game changing for us.

You know, I think that's really cool and a great mindset shift. One experience that I had was I had had this conversation with a woman where I realized that. So I have always seen the year as a circle, which I did not think was unusual until I had a conversation with a woman where she explained to me that that's actually a form of synesthesia. And synesthesia is making associations between different sensory experiences. So people with the more commonly understood synesthesia taste shapes or colors. They have, like, if you say a triangle, like, they see a specific color or they taste something specific in their mouth, which is really interest. But a more commonly experienced form of synesthesia is seeing time. So I found this out that I am one of these people who sees time. And I've been getting tons of messages from people after reading my book and hearing podcasts, being like, I do too. I've always seen the year as a circle. That's so cool. But I was talking to my sister about it, and she was like, yeah, if you also saw this day as a circle, imagine how relaxing that would be. Because then each day as you are moving towards the end of the day, you're actually moving back towards the beginning. So there's really no such thing as running out of time because you're headed You. You have a full day ahead of you. Even closer to that full day ahead of you, the closer you get to the end of the day. I was like, man, that is relaxing. So I actually created a. That has the day as a circle instead of a little box. And that's been really cool. Our origin members use that. But yes, I completely agree. And then also, there's a couple things going on here too. There's also the monthly cycle. If you look at the lunar cycle, it's the exact same four phases as the menstrual cycle. And so we're kind of like cycling from this birth to death to birth to death to birth to death every month, every day, every year. In our entire life cycle, there's this whole cycle going on. We're always sort of headed back towards the beginning at any given time. And to me, that just means there's so much opportunity for a redo. There's so much opportunity for a new chapter. And we can just really accept, like, oh, this is happening. And that's part of the cycle I'm part of. And the next cycle will inevitably be different because it can't be anything but different.

And I think that is. That was just the overall theme and peace that I felt from this whole conversation in your book was just complete acceptance and peace with. When we don't feel like we think we were supposed to feel like the expectation. And it was like, oh, now there's. Now, you know, there's a winter. Okay, this is offering me something. This is for, you know, a reason. There's things happening. This is not a bad thing. Like taking away the word bad, like around not feeling good or feeling different or not feeling, you know, just maybe our best self all of the time. And understanding you can't be that. And it's actually not good to be that because the cycle is so important. So that's been a really beautiful thing, is just to. To experience the wisdom that is in. In those areas. Ooh, let's talk about that. Because you talk a lot about just the wisdom of our bodies. And I think you call it egg wisdom.

Yeah. Do you wanna talk about egg wisdom and sort of attracting what you want?

Oh, yeah, let's do that.

Yeah. It's really fun concept. So this was taught to me by my mom, Christian Northrup, and it's such a fabulous concept. So literally speaking, each month a woman, during her reproductive years, she ovulates. And so she releases an egg. And that egg actually puts out a signal. And the signal kind of goes out to the sperm. And if, you know, if the woman has sex at that time, the sperm then get the signal and they swim faster towards her. So that hormonal signal that the egg puts out actually increases the speed at which the sperm can swim to towards her. So from a metaphorical standpoint, the, you know, the, that ovulation time, or really any time, the sort of female principle, the feminine principle, is having a very clear desire and putting out a very clear signal that actually increases the speed at which our desire is coming towards us. Then once the sperm makes it right, they're all swimming wildly towards her, that the egg decides which sperm she will let in. So it's not the strongest sperm, it's not the one that gets there first. It's not the most handsome. It's the sperm that she decides gets to let in. And I think it's really interesting. She has a really strong boundary, but at the same time she's receptive to what works for her. So she can have great boundaries and be receptive and open at the same time. And I think boundaries are trending right now in such a big. There's a lot of conversation around boundaries. And I think that boundaries are wonderful. I think we all need good boundaries and we also need to be flexible in those boundaries and not make our boundaries like steel walls because that leaves us alone. The egg is a perfect. Which by the way, we all started as an egg. It's the perfect metaphor for all of us to come back to. Okay, what is my true essence? What is my true nature of my true nature is great boundaries and also choosing what to let in. So then once the sperm's in, the egg has the ability, if there's anything wrong with that sperm, the egg has the ability to repair the DNA of the sperm. So she makes her desire even better than it was before. Or as my mom says, she eggs it on which the feminine. Right, we do, we have a tendency to do that a lot of women will talk about like, oh, all the good ones are taken, right? All the good men are taken. That is because when they, when you know, when a good man is with a good woman or with the feminine principle. Because I don't think this has to be like a heteronormative conversation. They do tend to look better. Men in general. The data shows that men live longer and are healthier in committed long term relationships. And because, because the feminine principle is to egg it on. And so then she has, then it takes a couple of days to move down the fallopian tubes into the uterus and embed into the uterine lining where that'll be a source of nutrients. But the egg has enough nutrients to travel all the way down for that several day journey before they have their next source of food. And she has enough food in her, so she also brings snacks. So there's this whole thing going on inside of our bodies once a month. But I really want you to think about it from the perspective of the metaphor of how can we attract what we want as the egg? Because the egg is not running all over the uterus. She's not checking down at the cervix to see if the sperm is coming. She's not like freaking out and texting her girlfriends, wondering if she should text or call or, you know, do you think whatever, she's not doing any of that. She's sitting and putting out a clear signal for her desire. And then she has everything else she needs within her to bring that desire to fruition. But she doesn't have to overwork in order to make it happen. It's so cool.

Oh my God, that's amazing. How have you applied this in your life? Like, what is something specific that you can be like, wow, that's really. That, that's really where that worked.

Well, I will tell you. My book launch. My book launch was such. And you were like one of the. Your message and your.

It was like a sper.

You were like one of my sperm.

That's great.

You were. And so it was really like, okay, I have a desire to celebrate this book launch in community. That was my desire. I'm an extrovert. I love people. I'm the kind of person where if I experience something and I'm not sharing it with someone, it's as though it didn't happen. So I just knew I needed a party. I didn't think it was gonna like, you know, sell books. Right. That wasn't my purpose. And I was clear about that. You know, it sold some books, which is great, but that wasn't the primary purpose. So I put out that clear desire and then I got into surrender around how it was going to manifest because I, of course I want, did I want a packed room, obviously. But when we had nine tickets sold, I was like, oh, really? The worst case scenario is I show up and have a party with nine people. This is not a bad thing. I will happily do that. And so I was really in this place of surrender. And my clear signal was I reached out to the people I knew and then I asked for support. So it Wasn't like, I did nothing because the egg, she does do something. And I think the way that we can take the clear signal metaphor is that she is taking inspired action in targeted ways. Right. So I wasn't, like, working 14 hours a day trying to fill this book launch. I was taking targeted action in inspired ways. And then people showed up. You showed up, and all these beautiful. You brought all these beautiful people, all these other people showed up. It was so amazing. And so it was just such a great. And I hadn't. I didn't. I didn't feel burned out. I didn't feel like I had overdone in order for that event to come to fruition. It was just like. Exactly. You know, I said after that event, the only thing that was wrong the whole night was that, like, my bra strap was too loose. Like, that was literally the only thing I would have changed. Everything else was perfect.

Yeah, it was amazing. I loved it. It was just fun. It felt light and fun, and it felt. Yeah. Felt like a celebration. It was just so great. And then what was so great for me, too, is I was like, oh, my God, I've been wanting to meet these women over here, and they're here. I didn't even have to work for it. It was amazing.

See? And that's your egg wisdom.

Yeah, totally. It was awesome. So it was great being the sperm, and it was great being the egg all in one night.

And I will tell you real quickly that my friend Megan Watterson, who has a great new book out called Mary Magdalene Revealed, and definitely check out her work. She read due us and she started doing an egg wisdom meditation at ovulation, where she would really, like, go into her meditation and focus on the desire that she had and at that time, like, for that cycle, and she's been getting miraculous results. Like, she wanted to connect with this specific person around her book, and she had no way of connecting with this person. And then, like, after she did her egg wisdom meditation with the intention of connecting with this person, this totally miraculous way it happened through this random professor in Cleveland, turns out to be this perfect, like, this best friend of this person. I mean, it was so wild. And so I love that she combined it with her actual ovulation to do egg wisdom as she's dropping an egg.

Okay, that's what I was gonna ask. That she's doing it at a specific time.

She really is, but you can do it anytime. And I just. You know what I really like to think about? Okay, this is what I want. I don't want to feel graspy about it. I don't want to, like, burn myself out. So I just literally will sit in my office, take a quick, deep breath, and imagine myself literally sitting inside an egg, emanating this clear signal for what I want. And then I go back to my work for the day.

Oh, I love that that's gonna happen. I'll tell you all about it.

Please do.

Okay, so what's exciting for you right now? What is. What is the thing for you in this moment that if you could, like, if you just had a completely clear schedule or maybe you do. Is. Is there something. Is there something right now that you would love to just sit with or create or think about or do or. What's really lighting you up?

What's really lighting me up is. And it is what I'm doing for work. I'm so grateful for that. Yeah, it's the. It's really looking at the intersections between body and viscous. And how can we use our bodies to fuel our deepest insight, our deepest impact, our profits? Like, how can we source our work from the places within us that have been ignored for eons, especially as women? Because the female body has not been celebrated in ways that are powerful. It's been celebrated in other weird ways. Ways. And so, yeah, it's been really. And, you know, I don't know exactly how that's going to manifest, but I'm just having the greatest time using myself as an experiment. So, you know, I know you love the word bliss, and that's a word that I've been resonating with a lot lately, and I actually have a bliss menu. So I'm prioritizing. How can I be in bliss? Because I know my blood best work comes from that place. Plus, it doesn't even matter because I'm in bliss. So having my bliss menu is something that I'm practicing, and then I'm just doing. Writing about that and seeing what comes through. And there's something bubbling here for me, and I'm not exactly sure what it is, but I'm having a great time just exploring the conversation around pleasure, bliss, embodiment, and how that fuels our work.

Oh, man. So what's on your bliss menu, like, every day that you need to consume or do?

So meditation is definitely on my bliss menu. Like, I notice a couple minutes into meditation, at first, it's like this. You should do this, you should do that, and that's all fine. And then, like a few minutes in, I just. It's. You know, I've heard In yoga they talk about, I did a, I did a yoga teacher training and they talked a lot about the soft palate. And my teacher Rodney Yee would talk about this nectar and some sort of nectar coming from the soft palate. And I was like, I literally have no freaking clue what you're talking. You know, we did a 300 hour training. The whole time I was like, I'm lost.

I feel like I got nothing.

But here I am, you know, nearly 10 years later and I am experiencing this feeling where it kind of comes from my soft palate, like the roof of my mouth. This feeling of bliss that comes through in my meditations. And like I don't want them to end because it's just feels so good to sit there in my body. It's so cool. So that's on there. Dance class once a week. Love that.

What kind of dance?

I'd love to do more but you know what, it happens at night and I've got the kids so I'm just committing to once a week.

What kind of dance?

Oh, anything hip hop. Like I go to this class called Beat Drop Dance Fusion. I don't, I don't even know what it is.

That's amazing.

But it's like, you know, it's like top 40 music or like some sort of contemporary really fun stuff stuff. And then sleep. Sleep is always on my bliss menu.

Mine too.

Sleep is pure magic. Of course.

Yep.

Yeah. Prioritizing sex after kids has been a journey and it's something I'm committed to and it's just like amazing how it is the gift that like keeps on giving where like the more I prioritize it, you know, I think a lot of people I've read, you know, and her talk about it, it's if women are experiencing low libido or low desire, which by the way is totally normal if you've just had a baby. So please don't beat yourself up. But that being said, there is this thing where it's like I have, you know, I have resistance. I'm like, oh, I'm too tired. But the more I prioritize it, the more I then want it. And so it's this really self fulfilling cycle which is cool.

That's awesome to hear especially it's so funny. Like of course after having a baby or even after doing a long business day, I'm always like, no, no, no, but that, it's so true.

And there's never, not once. It's very similar to working out in which, you know, a lot of Times I don't feel like working out. But the thing is, I have never once worked out or had sex and thought afterwards, well, that was a bad idea.

Or at least just don't ever say it. I'm just kidding.

No, no, I actually.

That's a terrible idea.

That's actually like a whole other conversation. But I'll just say with my husband.

Yes, yes, exactly.

There you go. Exactly.

So what for you right now, because it sounds like you are really in a sweet spot in your life, but I also know that that sweet spot has come from embracing a lot of the darkness or a lot of the winters. So what for you is a theme right now that maybe feels challenging or hard, that you're reframing a lot and how are you doing it?

So I've been really in this dance between creativity and strategy in business. And just, you know, I, I hang with just like you, with a lot of the, you know, big markety people and I love them and I love the strategy and I love the whole thing. I am a total marketing nerd and I find that for me and 2018 was a great example of that. This, when I get too strategic, it squelches my soul.

Yep, me too.

Yeah. And it, and I get totally in my mind and I lose track of my body, I lose track of my pleasure, I lose track of like my creative spark, you know, my passion. And that really happened in 2018. We had, we had a crunch in a variety of ways. We had a crunch because we had a second baby, we had medical bills, my husband got, got very, very ill. So we just had less, literally so much less bandwidth. And so financially I got in this place of like, well, what are ways we can make money? And I have to tell you, it doesn't work for me. It doesn't. Like when I come from a place of how can I make money? It's an immediate no go. Now, that doesn't mean to say that my goal in business is not making money. It absolutely is. And I'm all about making money. There's nothing wrong with that. But that can't be like the primary reason I'm doing something. And so I have been in the digging out of what was a very difficult year. And we, I like to say we right sized our team. So we had grown and expanded very quickly and we needed to get, we needed to right size because we were just, we had, we got into this place where we were just like, oh my God, our expenses are ridiculous and we are having to run in order to keep up with them and we don't want to run anymore. And so we. Right sized and simplified, massively simplified our offerings. And that's felt really great because that gives me so much more space to be creative. And so now we're more profitable and there's so much less pressure.

I love that you use the word. I love that you use the word simplify. Because sometimes I think that we can think that we can't simplify, but when it comes out of necessity, you absolutely can. As you know, you can do whatever the heck you need to do to make your life work. So what does it.

You can. Because sometimes you're forced to.

Yeah, absolutely. It's like the times when that's pretty much the times when I've learned simplification at its best is you're like, oh, you. Oh, no, you have to. Okay, great. So what would I do if I had to do it? Because I do.

Exactly.

So for people who aren't in the forced simplification yet, but they are feeling it, like, is there a way that we could actually prevent the shattering? Or do we need to go through that? Or can if we're. If they're starting to feel it, like, I'm overwhelmed, I'm anxious, I'm, you know, I have all of this on my plate. How can they start to. What are some of the first places you think that they could simplify?

So I really would just do it. Brain dump. Like, list out all the things that you have on your plate that just sometimes helps a lot just to see it all and then go through and look at. Just like read through the list and put a check mark or circle the ones that stress you out the most. Because all of those things on your list are not going to be equal in terms of level of stress. So circle the ones that stress you out the most and then ask yourself, okay, for this item, for each of the items on the list, can I. Is there a way that I can automate, delegate, or eliminate this item? And not every single one of them will be possible, but there will be at least a few. And honestly, getting a few things off your plate will provide tremendous relief. And the thing is, overwhelm is a way we keep ourselves small because it's such an easy opt out to just say, well, I'm overwhelmed. So therefore I'm going to zone out and watch Netflix, therefore, I'm going to overeat, therefore I'm just going to scroll Instagram because I'm overwhelmed. It's like, we just are like, oh, well, I can't because I'm overwhelmed. So I'll just be little small me over here. And instead you can take action on the overwhelm and do an exercise like that. I'm sure there's a million other things overwhelm exercises, but that's. That's what I would do. And see what you can automate, eliminate, or delegate. And you'll find even just a little breathing room with that will then open up your creative. Your creative synapses to find more solutions to getting things off your plate and simplification. And I would also say reading the book Profit first by Mike Michalowitz totally changed our lives.

Oh, man. I've not read that one.

You gotta read it. It is. Is a game changer. Game changer.

Next read. Awesome. Okay. Yeah, definitely guilty, Guilty, Guilty of that in my former self, for sure. Like, I can actually now I can see moments where I'm like, oh, you are getting busy. To not sit in this emotion over here. Got it. And that's like, getting comfortable with the space and knowing that, like, really good things come in the space. But it's weird. This last year has been like, you know, almost like, kind of waiting for what's next. And that waiting period is beautiful because there's some time there, but it's also super scary because it is.

It's uncomfortable.

Oh, it's just uncomfortable. You're like, I have. Okay, I was gonna wait. Like, and I'm totally surrendered here, but I'm only waiting for a month. So at the end, yes, like, this is the best mind. Like, if someone could record this, they'd be like, that girl's a psycho.

That's where the bliss menu is so helpful because the waiting becomes so much more tolerable if you're also cultivating your bliss.

Okay, so I have a question for you. I've cultivated a lot of bliss lately. I'm not gonna lie. Like, for real. Like, I have slipped into that amazing spot of where, you know, I have even been, like, vacationing and taking time and doing all of the things, and now I have this bizarre fear around, like, I'm feeling like I'm. I have something that I know. Like, the idea came is. Is like, it's. It's the next thing, and now I'm afraid of it because I'm afraid of the work involved. Can you help?

Good question. Oh, my gosh, I love that. So this is where you had asked earlier that you. You're working on something with somebody, and they. They're who you are. Both holding yourselves to, like, how could this be done in a simpler way? And how can it be fun?

Yep.

So it's really, I think, going back to those questions and also allowing things to come through us as opposed to pushing. So there's something in the birth world called the. I didn't experience this, and I'm also going to call it the wrong name, but it's something like the. It's like the birth ejection reflex or something that apparently there are women who just. Their bodies just like, eject. Eject the baby without pushing. Wow. Yeah. Amazing. So there's that. So. So here's why I'm telling you this. The practice and the philosophy of biomimicry looks to the natural world to solve our human problems. And so I always love examples from nature. And by the way, our bodies are nature. We're not separate from nature. So a birth reflex, you know, the ejection reflex of a baby would be an example from nature of what's possible in our more conscious lives. Right. That's a physical example of, like, hey, if your body can do this, you can do this on a conscious level. So how could you create this next body of work with in mind the passive birth injection reflex?

No, it's really.

Check it out.

It's a really great visual. It's, you know, a really great, powerful and gory visual. It's great.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I really. I just love a good birth metaphor.

Yeah, no, that's really powerful. It's. It's almost like I. Well, I know what I'm going to do. I'm going to go and write some things down so that I can look at it. Isn't it funny how we can literally. I call it spiritual amnesia. Like, I go to bed every night and I'm like, one person that I've built up to for the day, and then she disappears the next morning. Oh, my gosh.

Totally. That's why we have to have girlfriends. That's why we stay on the path of personal development and show up at workshops and keep reading books.

Yeah.

Because we forget every day.

Why have.

This podcast, Dory from Finding Nemo.

That's exactly how I feel. And it's so freeing knowing that everybody else feels that way, too, for the most part. So. Well, I am so grateful for you. And I have loved this conversation. And once again, it just reminded me of just how important just connection with other people is. It's just a daily reminder of why, you know, one other person's just going to light you back on Fire when you. You lose your spark. So, so beautiful. So thank you so much for this and I would love to know where everybody can get your book because it's so good, you guys. And you know what I love about it is there's so much there, and it's so much new information and so much wisdom, but it's actually in the same time, a really beautiful, easy read. Like, I enjoyed every minute of it.

Oh, I love hearing that. I love hearing that. Yeah, I've heard a lot of people say they just sort of read it, like in, you know, know, in a couple sittings.

Yeah.

Which. Which I love, so. Because, you know, hey, we don't need more to do.

No, we don't.

You can get the book@katenorthrup.com book and that 8020 exercise that I said is a bonus included. It's like a little video with a handout included with the book when you order it there.

Awesome. Is there anything else that you want to leave our listeners with with?

I just want you to know that your worth is not determined by how much you do. And you are enough already.

So beautiful. And I always ask one last question. Are you ready? Okay, so you are in passing with a total stranger, but it's only like 30 seconds. So it's either on the sidewalk or it's in an elevator, but they just randomly look over at you and ask you, how can I make myself happy? What do you think?

Say, wow, how can I make myself happy? I would say to cultivate a deeper relationship with yourself. Go inside.

So beautiful. And you guys, if you loved this episode as much as I did, make sure you send it to your friends, text it to your friends, share it with someone you love, and until next time, earn your happy.

Bye, everyone. 1.

Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment, Tell us what you think. Tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again, guys. Bye Bye.