431: Questionably Awesome - Your burning questions about EMBRACING CHANGE answered

Your beliefs are the only thing that are going to get you through. So if you believe that no matter what change comes, you can handle it, yes, you're going to be better. It's going to expand you. That's how you get through it. Like, stop resisting the change, because the change is typically the upgrade. Welcome to the earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves, get ready to earn, own, and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go.

Foreign.

Welcome to questionably awesome, where I'm sitting next to my co host, Hoda, Hoda and Kathy Lee. You know what, if you want to be Kathy Lee, you can be. Because I want to be Hoda. But I just want you to call me Ho Ho. I want you to say you the ho. Duh. You the Hoda.

I'll be Kathy Lee. I love me some Kathy Lee.

It's like fighting over who is Ariel.

Yeah, I always wanted to be Ariel.

Everybody did. Otherwise you're going to be like, are you going to be Sebastian or Ursula?

But no one wanted to be Ursula.

No, I had no friends.

Unless you're in a bad mood, please.

Let me be Ursula. There is a squirrel up there.

That.

Just goes with squirrel. So if you have not realized in the first 42 seconds of this podcast that you are going to be talking about ridiculousness and super wise things, you may want to tune into another interview instead of leaving us a bad review. So definitely please go and listen to the other interviews if you want to get smarter, if you want to have fun and gain wisdom. This is absolutely your podcast. So, yeah, do you have a. Actually first I want to know because you just told me that George is.

George is getting a new acl.

How do you get a new one?

Or they give him a new knee.

A new knee.

I think I should really know more about this considering he's in surgery at the moment. But it's a common procedure now.

Getting a new knee.

Yeah, they can do so many cool things with dogs.

Robo knees. Robo knees.

He's gonna be a Robot, would you.

Please get him one of those little metal laser eyes? So when he walks around, he's like.

I think he's gonna be faster than ever. When he comes out, I think he's.

Gonna be like, probably start joining races.

Yeah, it's our dog races. Greyhound races. Oh, aren't those kind of bad?

Probably. But if you shaved him, you could maybe get him in one. You might need to lose a little weight. He's not. He's not overweight. He's gaining the kidneys.

You know, in the summer when you're feeling good, you're like, I will have more guacamole.

So what's worse, summer or winter?

Ooh, winter.

Yeah. So how do we get rid of those summer pounds in the winter when it's harder?

I don't know.

I don't either. You tell me. I don't. I don't have an answer.

Wait, weren't you just in New York?

I was in New York and it was fricking amazing. So I have mixed. Tell me why I have mixed feelings about New York. Because I could never live there. Okay. I could. I actually could because I would have to live by Central park and I'd have to go in the park all of the time.

But that's so nice.

I'm in love with New York because of the possibilities. Like, you look around and you think this all came from someone's idea. Literally. We were in Central park and I was looking up at this massive skyscraper, and I thought, that is somebody's vision right there. Like, that is just a normal person, whether you want to think so or not. They started out as a normal person who had to believe that that was even possible. Like, hey, yeah, we're going to make this thing so tall. And the most affluent people, who are probably some of the smartest are going to want to live there. I'd be like, no. Why would the smartest people want to live in the dumbest building? That is not going to be possible. So that is what New York does for me, is it actually expands me. It just expands what I think is possible. So whenever I go there, I'm like, man, this is such a. Instead of letting it overwhelm me, I always try to just get super inspired, whether it's the designers or whether it's a Tony Award winning play or whether it's the skyscrapers. But I'm always looking around, super inspired at thinking it's such an amazing city of creatives and entrepreneurs, that it's freaking amazing Hustle, by the way, Also got to have a dinner with Gary Vee.

I saw that on your Instagram. What's he like?

Okay, so I got to be in his office once with him, but it was like someone was doing a book interview. Actually, Natalie Jill was there doing an interview. And it's like he creates this container of energy, and it is so. It just makes you feel so alive. Like, it's insane.

He's just being around him.

Just being around him. Yeah. When he left, I was just like, I. I just want that. It's like jumper cables. Like, literally, he comes up and he just, like, puts the jumper cables on.

What an amazing.

Where did you just pitch? Where did you just picture he put those jumper cables on?

I was picturing your elbows.

Okay, good.

Were you not?

I was picturing something a little more easily accessible.

I really was picturing your elbows.

That's my elbows.

Interesting.

All right, cool, Cool. Just on points. That is so funny. What did people used to coach. Did you used to have people pinch that as hard as they could? Like, I used to be like, school, I'd be like, pinch this as hard as you can. Go ahead. It doesn't hurt.

Doesn't hurt.

And they'd, like, dig their nails in, and I'd be bleeding, and it's. You can't really still feel it, but that is a weird thing. Don't ask. We've talked about this. It is not called your wenness.

I swear it is.

Lori, that's literally what your mom told you so you'd get made fun of in school.

Maybe that's on Urban Dictionary, but I'm telling you right now, there's a.

You guys, look it up.

There's a wenus in all of us.

There is a weus in your elbow. All right. Do you have a quote?

Yeah, it's really good.

All right, I want to. I want to hear all about your quote.

It's Dolly Parton, and she says, the way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.

If you want the rainbow, you have to put up with the rain. Tell me why this applies to your life right now.

Well, I really love Dolly Parton, and I also like how she's unapologetically herself.

Why do you love Dolly Parton?

I just think she just is like, yeah, I have big hair, I have big boobs, I wear a lot of makeup, and I don't care. She's just care what people think.

That's really true. And she's so freaking positive and cute.

Yes.

It's Ridiculous.

And she's just amazing. And I want to be more like that because sometimes I get my feelings hurt. But when I'm such a people pleaser, it's like, don't.

Why do you think that is? Because, I mean, why try to please people when people just. They don't even care?

Exactly.

Just, like, why, when you really sit and think about that. Because I'm getting over this right now, too, so. So can we talk about this for a minute?

Yes, I would love to.

I think that people pleasing, for the most part, is the only reason why we don't go and do things. Because at the end of the day, it's not that we're afraid of failing. It's like the fear of people not liking us, because that's all people pleasing is. So it is like, oh, if I fail, this person will think I am a failure, or, oh, if I do this, these people are going to reject me. Oh, if I put this post out and it sounds stupid or I say the wrong thing or whatever, or my work is not good enough or whatever that looks like. We are afraid of rejection when nobody actually cares. And it's. The only way to move forward is to get feedback and learn.

Right.

So why are we. Like, what is making you. I want these tough questions, too, so please give them to me. Like, why in the world are you stopping yourself? Like, what's going to get better? And that's okay with you?

No, it's not okay. It's just. It's terrible. And I want to stand up for myself.

Yeah. Against yourself. Yeah. What does that fight look like?

It looks really weird.

It's real, though. And I cannot figure it out because I'm like, what is my malfunction?

Right. Why do you need everyone to like you?

That's impossible. First of all, it is.

Ain't nobody going to like everybody.

No.

And it's okay. That's why there's chocolate and vanilla and all the amazing flavors in between.

Oh, my God. That's why there's ice cream. I'm so glad you just clarified that. If you guys were expecting that answer, you just got it.

That's why there's ice cream.

Period. Period. End of story. All right, so my quote is just from a very, very wise person who is the person behind this Instagram page. So I have no idea who it is, but it's hewomanofinfluence. I found it on this Instagram page, okay? It says, positive thinking is not about expecting the best to happen. It is about accepting that whatever Happens is for your highest good. So this is actually what gets me through. People pleasing and being a perfectionist is because this is literally the belief. I was like, oh, that was put so well because this is the belief that helps get me through everything is just this last part. So positive thinking is not about expecting the best to happen. And I don't even think that should say positive thinking. I think it's like taking leaps or facing your fear is not about expecting the best to happen. It's about accepting that whatever happens is for your highest good. So when you go to take that action, when you go to face your fear, it's like you can't do that stuff because you think the reward is coming. You can't because the reward is always going to be super disguised. Rewards are disguised as complete failure. Rewards are disguised as tripping on your way up on stage and falling on your face and realizing that at the end of the day, if that entire audience doesn't love you, it's like the universe or God or whatever you believe is trying to get you to love you. Even when other people's. People's. Even when other people don't. Yeah, but we put such an expectation on like, okay, if I start this, this better go right or I'm quitting universe, right.

It's got to be perfect.

Okay, if I put myself out there, it better be amazing or I'm going to be so upset that it sucked and why did she get it or he got it and I can't get it. Like it's so ridiculous because it's about the journey and you're going to fail and you're going to suck ass.

Yeah, you're going to suck ass.

You might as well start sucking an ass right now. Get it over with.

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All right, so on to a review of the week.

A review of the week. This does not suck ass.

I'm very excited about this.

This is from Stefan80 Stephanadi Stephanie.

Oh my God Stephanie.

So much fun and love and relevant. Lori, you and Evans are so fun to listen to. It brought me right back to when you were a bride to be an Angela. Sprayed perfume in my eye.

Lol. I don't remember. Do you remember this?

A lot of fun and laughs, but it's more than that. You have such great messages and help people to feel empowered and figure out their own solutions. Love your moon voice and bit. You're hilarious. And so is Evans. I've been binge listening while working and laughing out loud, trying to get into a great place in space for some big stuff coming up in my life, and listening to the podcast is helping me get there. Hey, that's great.

That is amazing. Stephan 80 Stephan 80. Stephanie. We might have to bring back the moon voice for her. I'm not sure which one it was, so I'll think of it in a little bit. Oh, Lord.

Yeah, I think it was lower like that.

Oh, I have two eyes and a mouth. I thought that was it because the.

Butterfly had a different voice.

Yeah, I definitely did. It was like, boop, boop. I have to be super honest. I listened to that podcast.

You did.

And laughed so hard.

You did.

And I thought, we're hilarious. And then I thought, there's definitely a group of people that don't like this, though.

Oh, for sure.

And I felt for them. And I mourned. I mourned their loss of humor, their loss of their sense of humor, and I moved on with my day.

Yeah.

Because guess what?

Not everything's for everybody.

It's definitely not. Yeah.

Do you want a question?

We're for everyone. Yeah, I do. I'd love one.

Okay. This is about embracing change.

I'd love to. I'd love to see about this.

This is gonna be good. C Bello4410 Change is awesome. However scary. How do you push through the anxiety of it all?

Oh, man. Literally, change is the only thing that you can count on in life. And that is such a painful thought sometimes, because right when you settle into comfort, you're like, this is so nice. Why can't it just stay this way? And then you start to even get in resistance just thinking about knowing that something's going to change. So I think that the thing that I have started thinking about change because I do want to go back to that, just for a minute. Have you ever had those moments when things are so good and you actually sabotage the moment because you're like, this isn't going to last. Wait, this is too good to be true. And you don't let it in, so you actually do. It shortens. So I have to hold a couple beliefs that when things change, it's going to be better. It literally goes back to this quote, which is so crazy that this was the quote I picked because it fits so perfectly. So it's about accepting that whatever happens is for your highest good. So whenever things change, I'm always like, okay, change is coming. And it's. For me, like, I'm always really, really shocked at how a lot of the change that I am totally in resistance of that seems really, really shitty in the moment, is actually, like, the universe going, oh, clearly you're not gonna change this, or you won't get this person out of your life. So we're gonna pull them out for.

You, which is nice when that happens sometimes.

Do you have anyone like that that's happened in the past couple years where you're. You're like, no. And you're trying to make them like you and stay in your life, but actually they should probably go, exactly.

Or there's so many things like that. And even when it's funny, when you think back on times, when you think back on how hard it was at the time, and now you're like, that was fine. It was all worth it.

I know. It's so weird because it's the worst thing in the moment, and looking back, it's the best thing. It truly, truly is. Every single thing. Even the stuff that's like, no, I would really do without this.

Yeah.

What the. It. It teaches you and prepares you for the next thing so that you don't have to go through that again. It's so huge.

So you just kind of just going back to that main thought of, thanks.

For bringing me back. What were we supposed to answer?

We were supposed to answer, how do you push through that anxiety of being.

Scared of change with the belief that it's all good for you? So don't be afraid of it. Like, just keep moving through it. So your beliefs are the only thing that are gonna get you through. So if you believe that no matter what change comes, you can handle it, you're gonna be better. It's going to expand you. That's how you get through it. Like, stop resisting the change, because the change is typically the upgrade. Yeah.

Oh, the change is typically the upgrade.

Yeah, bitches. It is. That's a good one.

Write that down.

Well, write. You know what? That's good stuff. I hope my podcast person writes it down.

They will. And it kind of reminds me of the seasons of Mother Nature.

Like the four seasons.

Yeah, four seasons. The four seasons.

The baby the hotel and the seasons. Tell me about Mother Nature.

Mother Nature's changing. She's not always staying in the hot sun in summer. She knows she can't do that forever.

And you know what? Everyone's like, I want summer. And she's like, look, I know. It's my best season. Yeah. I know.

I look my best. I'm lush as hell.

Exactly.

I've got that glow.

Lush as hell. She's just, like, up here with her legs out, like, her big bush on her head. On her head, I said. Just blowing in the wind. Mother Nature knows she has to change, too, in order to be her best.

Sometimes you have to go through that.

Fly all the time.

Anywho.

All right.

Oh, this is great. At Boundary Goddess. Whoa.

You know what? I just. I need that name.

That's a great name.

I'm a goddess of boundaries.

Goddess of boundaries.

You really are. I've been there.

You wrote about it.

I did. I'm getting there. I'm learning. Evans.

Well, it's helpful.

How are your boundaries?

Oh, probably terrible, I'd say.

Why? Why?

I have good boundaries in certain places, but then sometimes I don't have the best.

Like, where are you bad boundaries at?

Probably, like, oh, sure, I'll do that. No problem.

Like what? Like. Like this podcast.

Oh, not this podcast. Like.

Like work. I'm like, oh, no.

Like work or something.

Okay. Do you want to get a voice changer and I can be you.

Yes.

Some of your stuff.

Yes.

And they'll be like, evans, will you do this? I'm like, f. No.

Yeah.

Yeah. And I'll be like, do you. I don't care if you like me. And just. That's it.

Just repeat it over and over and over and over.

Hans, See how long you keep your job?

Well, probably a long time, actually.

Probably because you have all the room to get your stuff done. Yes. They'll be like, you know what? She is a nasty hoe, but she gets everything.

But she gets it all done because she has time.

Not a yes woman, that's for sure.

Yeah, sometimes you just have to pause before you immediately say yes. That's what I'm learning.

Yeah. Sometimes you have to swear at people and then pause.

Swear.

Pause. Don't do that. Keep moving.

Silence, where silence wear in your head. Wants to know, how do you deal with the fear of your loved one's judgment? That's hard question.

How do you deal with the fear of your loved one's judgment? I wish I could ask a clarifying question here, because definitely the fear of Your loved one's judgment. A lot of it is in our heads. A lot of it is because we are not bringing the actual fear to the light and having a conversation about it. Because if you did, and they really are people who love you and you really gave them your perspective, they most likely, I'd say 90% of the time, want the best for you and just are maybe your opinion of them judging you, they're just trying to keep you safe because they love you. And maybe they have had an experience where, let's say, for example, this was a common one in our family when Chris and I started network marketing because they had bad experiences with network marketing, immediately they throw judgment, which to us seems like they were trying to hold us back. But to them they were like, oh my God, don't make a bad investment. Don't do what we did.

They're trying to protect you.

Totally trying to protect. So they're going to throw judgment or they're going to say certain things, but you have to know it's just because number one, you either haven't communicated or number two, they are trying to protect you. Or number three, it's because they don't see what you're capable of. Here's the thing about our freaking families. They still compare you to when you're like 13 year old Evans, and you're like, I am 49 now.

I'm 53.

Yeah. I'm 72. I'm capable of deciding what nursing home I want to get in.

Yeah, but they still have bad experiences at that nursing home.

Yeah, exactly.

Or they don't. Didn't like one of the nurses there.

They'Re like, you need baby food. And you're like, I just ate a T bone, bitch. T bone.

But it's true. It is. So how do you, what do you do? Do you have a conversation with your family? Are you like, hey, let's talk about this.

You know that kid who divorced his family back in the 90s? I do you do that.

Just go straight to the court system.

Don't do that, don't do that. And don't be like that. That woman, who did she marry a Barbie doll? Somebody married a Barbie doll.

Oh, yeah, there's some weird stuff.

It was also in the 90s. Don't do that either. There's a lot of weird st. What do you do you have a conversation or you just accept that they are not going to get it. This is literally what I've done my entire life. Have a conversation. And if that gets worse because it can sometimes accept that they don't get it and keep moving. Why do we think we need the stamp of approval from our families? Literally those cows who have those seared things on their rear end.

Oh, yeah, the brand, when they get branded.

Branded, yeah. It's like we need this family check of approval. Your family's gonna just. You've been approved. It's not going to happen.

Keep on moving.

It's not. They don't get it. They still think that you are 12 year old Evans and they can't see you for all the things that you've been through and the way that you think. And they think that you think the same way as them because you're from the same family and you're like, actually, no, you were all abducted by aliens and I was the only normal one.

So you can never brand me.

Yeah, don't brand me. You can't keep me small. Okay, next question. I feel like we really, really helped.

Really, really nailed that one. No, I think we did.

I actually think we did.

I seriously think.

Okay, heads up on that one. I mean, thumbs up, heads up.

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Hear about changing even when your spouse isn't ready. I feel like this is a popular question. You're ready to uplevel, but your spouse is not.

Okay, this has been so popular since, I think since the Bible was written.

So we're gonna go straight back to Genesis.

I mean, even look at Adam, he was like, we shouldn't eat that apple. And she's like, I love apples. And like, what happened? Up Level with me. Yeah, here is the thing. Like, don't succumb, Adam. Succame. Yeah, it's not a word. All right, enough of the Bible analogies. Because they're going south fast.

Yeah, we didn't mean that.

Yeah, they're going to Babylon, going down like the Tower of Babel. Okay, to everyone who reads the Bible, I hope you enjoyed that. So how do. Here's the thing. You're never going to evolve at the same time. You're just not. Just like your friendships aren't going to evolve. So I've been talking to a lot of people about this. I've been analyzing this a lot, and this came up a lot in our masterminds. This is something that comes up on the podcast. This is literally the topic. So Chris and I don't evolve at the same time either. And we evolve in different ways. So the things that you have to do is we think that our partners need to be on the same track as us, and we think that our partners need to be, like, all of these different things for us. But what we need to go back to is to really realizing what our partner does for us that's the most important to us. Not just one thing, but maybe literally sit and write down three to five things that your partner does that you're not realizing or looking at that allows you to go out and to grow and to be yourself. Number one, if your partner does allow you to be yourself and all of this growing without judging or whatever and is just at home holding it down, holy crap, you're already way ahead. Yeah. If your partner is, like, out, you know, at their job and earning and just making sure that they're happy, oh, my God, you're already ahead of the game. If your partner is still wanting to, like, date and be romantic and take care of you, oh, my gosh, that's so amazing. Can you just, like, share different things that you're doing with your partner and be super excited that this person holds space for you to share? And maybe you guys go back and forth on some fun ideas. Another thing is maybe you're not bringing your partner in to the conversation in the way that they could get involved. Maybe you're trying to bring them in by wanting them to be your business partner or your biggest support when really they are there to maybe just help you with your stress while you start this business or while you go out and you do these different things at your job. We underestimate the importance of a partner who really keeps us grounded and who helps us with our stress level and who reminds us to play and who gets us outside of the work box. Like, those things are so vital. So first of all, rearrange what you think is important and what your relationship is. If none of those boxes are checked, well, then you just need to start swiping.

Yeah, Just get on the dating app.

Just. Then you just need to get on Tinder in front of the partner and be like, look, this is so easy. I'm sorry. He's better.

So many people right now.

He's better, she's better, they're better. This couple is totally open to me. This is great. Watch out, because these four people, they all want to be. Yeah. Yeah.

That's the truth.

You know, they all live in a house right now together. This is a family that desires me.

But it's true.

Thinking about how the Partridge family just swiped right away.

They just adopted Me.

Yeah.

So that could happen in California.

It's. Yeah, that's. I'm just saying.

Yeah, but I like.

It's not all like that, by the way. Don't. Don't go. Don't go crazy.

Yeah, don't go crazy.

But it's everything. And all of the great things and all of the great. Whatever.

We're gonna just.

We're gonna stop right there. Yeah. Save me.

I think that was great advice.

I got a life preserver and I'm gonna throw it. I want you to throw it around.

I got you.

Whenever I'm like, please, Lord, words. Help, help, help.

But I like what you're saying about revisiting because it can be easy to dwell on the things that your partner doesn't do.

Exactly.

And then you forget all the wonderful things they do do.

They do.

Dammit. I set myself up for that. But do you know what I mean?

I 1 million percent know because I for sure have had moments where I've put Chris in a. Literally been like, oh, I wish he did this or that. And I'm totally missing out on the millions of things that I literally can't imagine not having completely take them for granted. So when I shift that and I'm like, ok, but these things are so huge to me that it's overwhelming. So that is that. And I do that with friends too, because the second that I'm like, oh, you know what? I thought we were going to be these great friends, but she's not really into this or she's not really supportive in this area. I'm like, yeah, but you guys have so much fun together. Or what are you. We need to reorganize our friendships and realize what they are for us. Some people are just going to be fun. Some people are just going to be creative. Some people are just going to be for business. And when we start to try to force categories on them is when we get disappointed and we push them away and then we have no one.

Yeah. And you don't want to do that.

Stop pushing people over.

But I do think you know what's a good. I feel like we've talked about this before. Esther Perel's TED Talk. Yeah, that's a great thing to listen to about. Tell me about it. Because she talks about how we naturally are thinking, like, my partner should check off these 30,000 boxes and be all of these things. Whereas that. That's impossible. It's impossible for your partner to be something. And you gotta look in the mirror and be like, I can't do that for my partner.

Yeah. I think I check off two boxes. Same so moving. Just keep it real. Yeah, yeah.

I move and eat.

I move and eat. What man doesn't want this?

That's. Those are my boxes. Hey, hey, hey. That's exactly what every man wants.

You know what? I know this.

Wait, do we need another one?

Oh, yeah. I think we've got time for one more. Okay. This is a different time for us, Evans. This is the evening. Yeah, I know we're normally in the morning and we have to rush off.

To our jobs, but not today.

Not today. Today's a free day. I'm gonna keep you for four hours.

Yeah, today we're going straight to the bar. Just kidding. This one. How do you stop old patterns from sneaking in while trying to embrace change?

Ooh. Great question. Oh, my goodness. You go to Joann Fabrics and you get a new pattern. Your mom used to pick up patterns.

My mom always picked up patterns.

If there was, like, a wedding coming up, I'd be like, can you get me a new pattern for our dress? And I'd pick out a really hard one, and I would look like a weird ass flower. My mom tried so hard, but I.

Do you know how to sew?

No.

I wish I did because I hand sew. You do? Terribly.

But isn't it cool that our moms could sew in the first place?

Amazing. Like, to even think about that. And. And you know what? That was a real bitch statement on my end because my mom was actually a good sewer seamstress. But I would pick out the worst materials. I would be like, I want it in taffeta.

Yeah.

She's like, it won't lay. Nice. I'm like, it's gonna be fine.

Get the taffeta. And I put it on.

And I would just look like a giant. Giant carnation.

I just remember the packs they would come in with the little drawings on them of the girls.

Yeah. And the girls were like two pounds. Yeah. And it was high fashion. And you put it on and you just look like a disaster.

You did?

Yeah. They're like, look at that little girl. She is a walking disaster. And then when they lay the big.

Fabric things out on the table and, like, cut them and turn them and.

Cut them, people are just.

You just have one listener on.

Such high expectations. No, because all these women are my age right now and your age. They know they are living in pattern land. Okay, so how do we. Let's read this again.

How do you stop old patterns from sneaking in while trying to Embrace change.

That's a good question. Well, they're always gonna sneak in. So I think just acknowledge them because you're breaking part of an identity that you have built for years and years. So when it comes up, I think grace is the most important thing that we can possibly ever have when we are on this journey of change is because you're going to have those old patterns. You're going to have those every day. I have old limiting thoughts and old habits that want to sneak in. Like, literally right now, I'm like, oh, my God, Evans, let's just smoke a fatty. Just kidding.

Let's just get a bowl out here. Does that even happen?

I didn't ever even smoke weed. I've smoked it twice. Like, I don't. And even if I did, whatever. But I just think it's a great joke. Like, we should probably say that more like, let's smoke a bowl. That's what they say. Like, hilarious. All right, so you're gonna have those.

Patterns, those weed things pop in.

It's gonna pop in like a weed. Hey, just like weeds, it's gonna grow. So when you hear it or when you feel it, just be like, okay, that's there. And I'm gonna choose what. So sometimes I think I've shared this on here. Like, I can have a lot of fear thoughts. I don't know if it's because of I'm a human or how I was raised or the religion I was raised in was very, like a lot of fear based religion. And so I was always having anxiety that I was doing the wrong thing or I wasn't enough or, oh my God, this is not the. You know, it was so. It's just my life has a lot of those patterns of, like, being freaked out really quick around, like, am I doing this right? Or oh my gosh, something's gonna go wrong, or what if that happens? So sometimes I'll be running, like a perfectly great run in California with palm trees and sunshine and puppies, everything in each other's faces.

Yeah, that really does happen.

It happens all the. And I will be running and I'll be like, oh, my God, what if someone I love dies? And I'm like, oh, no. I mean, come on, you think this too?

Oh, yeah. All the time. I think the worst thoughts.

It's like, it's literally a habit of sabotaging that moment of puppies kissing in the sunset. Yeah. Like, you have to acknowledge it and be like, okay, I see you. I see that you want to take away this moment. And I'm like, choose again. What do you want to think about? Okay. I'm like, no, don't do that. Like, oh, God, please. I literally say, God, please help me. Choose again. Choose a better thought. Because it's our human nature and just our old patterns that want to sabotage, maybe something new or something good. But I'm always like, nope. I receive this. I'm letting it in. I'm expanding my ability to receive love and good things. Because so many people get good things in their life and they're not used to it, so they try to sabotage it somehow. Whether it's thinking they're not going to be good enough or thinking that they can't do the job or thinking that this person's going to leave them or whatever it is. It's like, just sit it. Stay in it. Yeah, it's gonna be great. You can receive it. You can handle it.

You're worthy.

You're worthy of it. You can move through it. You are worthy of this. So those are the things that I say, and I just keep saying those things until I join the puppies. Yes, that's all.

Until you're down there with the puppies.

Don't judge me.

That's true.

I like dogs.

Why do we do that, though? Let those negative things pop in and just ruin a perfectly good moment?

I don't know, but I know a lot of people who are super. It's an addict. No, it truly. If you read or watch or listen to any of Joe Dispenza's stuff, our brain is addicted to the chemicals that we feed it the most. So it's an addiction to feel that chemical hit of sabotage, if that's what you do for yourself most right now. That's why breaking the addiction is the most challenging thing that you will ever do. So you'll get more and more used to getting the positive hits. So now I'm so used to it that when I'm around negative people and they say negative things, it actually, like, hurts. Hurts. I'm like, oh, my God, I am so not here anymore that I can't be around this, because these emotions feel terrible to get all the time. Where before I loved him, I was like, jonesing for them. I was like, give me another end of that crap.

It is like a drug, though.

Yeah.

Be mean to me.

Be mean.

It's true, though. I do that, too. I have some habits right in my head right now that I know I need to.

You should tell me what they are so we can change them.

Like one Time last night. I've done this several times. I'll look at the bad things people say about me on this podcast.

Why do you do that?

I know. I don't know why I do it.

I've done it before. I've done it on my book. I told you. I did it on my TED talk once, and that one was real painful. So I was like, oh, that stung enough to never go back. You're not allowed to do that anymore. Whenever you feel yourself do that, you have to. Have to say why are. You literally have to say, no, no. Don't even say why because you'll get. You won't get a good answer. You'll be like, because you're a loser who gets bad comments. You have to say, don't do this to yourself. You're freaking hilarious and amazing and you're trying to keep yourself small. Say that to yourself next time. Stop keeping yourself small, Big Evans, and call yourself Big Evans. Stop it.

Big dad used to call me Biggie.

Well, Biggie.

Biggie is back.

Biggie is back and in full effect. And she is never, ever gonna look at those comments again.

But I'm all about some constructive criticism.

Well, that's not the place for it. Yeah, they're gonna email us something really nice if they're constructive. Yeah, they are. But do we need to have somebody else? Oh, she got. She gets the reviews again, so you have to go look at them. Yeah, so don't you dare. You don't even need the drug.

I did it on purpose.

I don't know.

Isn't so stupid. It's just an example.

So what are you gonna say when you go and do that, though? Because this has to stop now.

Now I'm gonna say, you're bigger than this.

Yeah. And what else. Why are you great?

Because everyone is great and we're seriously. We're all worthy of wonderful things and everyone has a different special place in this world. And you can't be everything for everyone.

And a lot of people are really jealous of your hilarious humor, so.

Or not.

They are. Sorry, that's all. All right. Ecred. All right. Biggie has to not ever look at those comments again. Yeah, I'm not going to either.

No, I like constructive comments, though.

Yeah, well, they're come through email.

Yeah, I love that. I really do. I. I want. I want that known. That we should all be up for constructive.

Oh, I love constructive criticism. Me too. Important.

That's how you grow.

But the person giving it has to know how to give it. Yeah, we need to know how to do that, too. We need to do a podcast on that. Because I think that's really important for people to know, because I think people think they're giving constructive criticism, but actually they're being total assholes. Yeah.

Sometimes it can come across as really mean.

Yeah. And that will shut someone down. Yeah. But it'll probably be a great lesson. Yeah. Actually, forever. Maybe. Some of those were great lessons for you to be like, you know what? I'm not doing that to myself. And I'm growing a backbone.

Exactly.

I've been noticing your backbone's been looking stronger.

Thank you. It's the yoga.

Thank you. It's the comments. I've been reading all my comments. All right, so any last parting wisdom.

Just show up, be yourself.

That's all you have to do, literally, is just show up. Because you're never going to feel ready. You're probably not going to feel worthy, and you just need to be in a much smarter room than you're in right now. Yes. So you need to seek another room. All right, you guys, until next time, be, I don't know, questionably awesome.

Yeah, be questionably awesome.

Why not go watch some squirrels? It's always nice. All right, bye, everyone.

Bye.

Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing, and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment, Tell us what you think. Tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again, guys. Bye.

Bye.