434: Your burning questions about EMBRACING CHANGE answered

And I also want to be excited about the season I'm in.

Yeah.

So I totally.

The best advice I can give is look within. Like, why am I getting frustrated? What expectation am I putting on him? Because I can always find the answer within myself.

Be patient.

Welcome to the earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul, and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn, own, and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Welcome to another episode of questionably awesome. And guess what, you guys, did you just hear two voices? Evans, have you been throwing your voice? Yes. Okay, so if you're wondering, I have two people sitting in front of me. It's pretty fantastic because not only is it two people that I love, but they are both in bathrobes. So I literally made them get bathrobes on because I don't get ready in the morning. It's 7:30am I'm not going to get ready for this podcast, you guys. So I am with Evans and Lindsay Schwartz. So Evans, my usual co host, and we've also thrown in Lindsay. Lindsay, how are you feeling right now about life?

I am feeling honored. I've only had one item on my bucket list and I'm checking it off this morning. Time to get a new list. And I didn't even think to dream of the robes.

Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.

So they're also sharing a mic, which I just think is the most funny, hilarious thing. Two women in robes sharing a mic. I think that could be a podcast in and of itself. So, you guys, if you don't already know what this episode is, Evans and I really like to prepare you to let you know that if you are searching for perhaps some wisdom or you're really into serious interviews, this is absolutely not your podcast. You need to go to a different one. So, yeah, really into you wanting to laugh or snort coffee through your nose. Either one is how we drink coffee simultaneously. So, you guys, why don't we just chat a little bit about just what's been going on in your lives. So, Lindsay, I'm just going to have you start. And what have you been up to?

What has been going on? Well, a lot. A lot, if I'm being honest. And it's been a cool season of expansion. It's been a cool season of stepping into bigger and bigger ideas. And I think it really hit me yesterday we saw that quote that the. What did I say? The century ends in three months, but it's actually the decade. And it really hit me, like, man, there are some big things that I still want to be doing. And it's so. It's cool. It's cool to be here working on event love, and it's really cool to be in a robe with both of you.

I have so many robes in this house. Like, you could have had a selection of. You could have gone with a crazy robe. You could have gone with a slinky robe.

We went classic.

My slinky robes don't get any use, by the way. I just. I think in the morning, it's the last thing I want to do.

Hold on. When you said slinky robe, I literally pictured a robe with slinkies on it.

See, that's the kind of woman I am. People do not relate me to sexy. They're like, oh, she has slinkies on her robe. Oh, my God. Slinkies were so fun. I love Slinkies. I had a generic Slinky, though, so it hardly went down the stairs. Like, it would fall down one and it would roll down the others. Did you do a Slinky?

Did you get that at Shakey's Pizza? Because that sounds like the kind of one you get at. Like, I think I got it.

It might have been a mini one out of, like, those quarter ball machines.

Oh, yeah, like in your cereal box.

Yeah, probably something like that. Evans, tell me what's been going on in your life over the past week, Because I feel like. I feel like when I listen to this podcast, you have big changes every week.

I'm getting married in a month.

Oh, my God.

And my dog has a new acl.

Okay, so tell me what it's like living with Robo George.

I just want to give a shout out to whoever invented the plastic cone for dogs. It is awful, but, boy, does that thing work.

Yeah.

Because they are not licking their stitches.

So what would they do out in the wild when they get stitches from grandpa dog?

From the grandpa dog. Dr. Dog that would stitch them up. They would just know not to touch it, and they would get some, like, wisteria and rub it on themselves or.

Something like, do they have a medicine dog that they go to in the woods? And they're like, go to Rocktor Rob. He's gonna rick through her up. And then they don't chew their leg off naturally. Or they do. Yeah. Or they do. And they're like, we never see him again.

You don't know.

Did you see Peg Dog? I don't know. I'm not sure.

Yeah.

So do we have. So what's been going on in my life? I'm so glad you asked. So let's see what has been going on in my life. Really exciting stuff that you're here, because we are doing Event Love. We are going. Which is a program that Lindsay and I are doing together. So we are putting together the high fives for that. Snap. Snap. We're putting together the curriculum for that. And that's been really fun because anything that I'm doing with someone has been way more fun than doing it alone. Which is exactly why we're all sitting here sweating, doing this podcast right now. Or is it just me? Because I put red cayenne pepper.

Robes are hot.

The robes are hot. I have lip sweat and sweat among other spots on my body, but it's because I'm drinking coffee with cayenne pepper in it, because I thought that'd be a great idea. And a hot robe. Have you ever been like, hey, really? Talking to people about hot robes? That's weird. Let's move on.

This is the first.

I do feel like I'm on NPR being able to lean in on the mic like this.

Do you feel like that?

I wish you could see us cheek to cheek.

Well, they're gonna see you now, because what people don't know is we are filming this podcast now, so you can get little glimpse and clips on Instagram because Alyssa, who is standing behind the camera right now, is trying to pretend she's not here. But we're really aware she's. She's to my left and she's to your right.

She is. She's getting all the goods.

But I like it because she blends right in and laughs with us. Yeah, it's super awesome. Hi, Alyssa. Hi. You're the best. Okay, so let's talk about some quotes.

Yes.

Do you want to go first?

No, my quote's terrible. Go ahead, Lindsay.

Okay, so my quote today is better than Lori's, apparently.

Measurably.

And it's by a gentleman named Richard Branson. You might know him. I saw him speak. He's so much cooler because he has a British accent. I mean, it just automatically. So I'm not going to try to do this in an accent like Evans does, but I'll just give it my voice.

No, no, you're going to do it in a British accent.

Please, just. Just imagine. Close your lower voice, close your eyes, and make sure that you're ready.

I'm ready.

Oh, I don't even know how to do this in it. Okay, here we go. Every success story is a tale of constant adaptation, revision, and change.

Ooh, delicious.

It's Lindsay again, guys. Not Richard Branson.

Wow, that was. That was tasty. Okay, say it one more time in your own accent so I can actually hear the quote. Cause I was really focused on your English accent.

It was bad. My best friend has this English accent that when we know she's gotten to a certain level of like she's had a couple cocktails.

Yeah.

Cause she turns British.

Oh, I like that.

Yeah, she does. So she would be really disappointed it in my accent. The actual quote in Lindsay's voice. Every success story is a tale of constant adaptation, revision, and change.

Oh, yeah. It's so true. I actually. So Chris read his book in bed while I was reading a different book. But he would share with me, like, a bunch of stories from his childhood. And you guys, like, I don't know how we ever think that we are supposed to just be successful naturally or that it's gonna be good. Because if you ever read any business book whatsoever, it is crazy how many times they fail and come close to either quitting, throwing the towel or they have lost all their money a few times over. It's insane to me. So, Evans, give me your quote. I'm hoping mine gets better in time. Like it's a fine wine.

Mine is Embrace Uncertainty. Some of the most beautiful chapters in our lives won't have a title until much later, and it's by Bob Goff.

Oh, I love Bob Goff. He's really nice.

Are you joking? Do you know who? Bob.

I really do.

Oh, that's awesome. I love that one because. Amen. I know you guys both know it. This is so fun watching you in bathrobes. Nod your heads.

Were you guys nodding? I don't know.

I don't think you even know how great this view is. They're in bathrobes and Evans has fancy earrings on with the bathrobe.

I'm underdressed.

Yeah. Where are your chandelier earrings?

Do you remember those? I had so many chandelier earrings. I was so into, like, I was like, oh, you know what? You want to make that outfit better, Drop a chandelier.

Bam.

Get one silver chandelier.

Where's your chandeliers, honey? Don't go outside without them. And it's so weird because that's so not me. But I went through a year of chandeliers. Like, yeah, I lit up the joint.

Oh. I had a year of statement necklaces.

Oh.

Like the ones that. It was like a tiny guy choking you the whole day. Really?

Like a bit like a very decorated. Like a Christmas tiny guy.

Kind of went down to your knees. Necklace did. Yeah.

Yeah. And they were like baubles. Didn't you call, like, bobbles or something?

Oh, there were bobbles. Yeah, there were definitely bobbles. I had statement necklace years.

Yeah, I did.

We should pull those pictures out and just be like, check these.

Can we use those for the podcast promo for this?

Did you think that you were fashionable? Because I did.

1,000%.

We probably were, though.

1,000%.

Everything I wear, I'm like, this looks great. And then a year later, I'm like, that was dumb.

For real? Yes.

It's all about embracing it, though, you know, if you felt great, you lit up that room like you were just pure greatness. So that's my theory. All right, so how about that review of the week? What do you think?

Buckle up, Lindsay.

I'll be the sound effects.

Okay.

I like that the title is my favorite shit show on fire.

Girl, you nailed it.

This is from Morgan Barkis. The last month felt like falling down that Alice in Wonderland hole for me. There's a welcome change waiting for me, but the interim has been a challenge. My saving grace. Questionably awesome. Every episode downloaded and playing in the background all day, every day. For real. I love the relationship between you and Evans. The laughs, the perspective, and fantastically honest and hilarious one liners. One of my favorites being because I'm just a shit show on fire 99% of the time. I look forward to Wednesdays very much.

I love this.

I just.

Wow.

I just feel like this table could get a lot bigger and we would have to get more microphones, though, you guys. Yeah. Yeah. So how's it. You know, we're 11 minutes in. How's your experience so far, Lindsay?

It is everything I hoped and dreamed and more.

Could we make this? I just really wish we could make this. Evans and I are still trying to figure out how to make this our normal job.

Ooh. I full on. See, I'm talking Netflix show. I'm talking npr. I'm talking. Listen, I will be your agent.

Yeah.

I have no skills, but I have a bathrobe.

You know, that sounds about like how our agent would roll.

Yeah.

We were. You're hired.

I'll just get a Bluetooth and wear it all the time so people think that I'm really legit. And then I yell things about we need those evidence contracts.

We're going to walk.

Bluetooth and a clipboard.

I actually have several clipboards.

That's all.

You know what?

That's, that is what I look for in a job description. I'm like, how many clipboards does this person own?

I have nine.

You do.

Full disclosure. I have nine.

I feel like you're serious with that.

I actually do.

I feel like six is playing. Six is messing around. I'm like, oh, child's play. Nine is getting up there. That's like, that's the real deal. Yeah.

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You guys, we have some cues that we have to answer because I guess in order for the show to also be balanced with wisdom, we have to answer questions in a very wise way because Evans and I do that. Yeah.

This question comes from Nicole Holdguin. What if I want to throw in the towel on one business and start another?

Oh, girl. So we're all going to answer this, but we were just talking about this last night, Lindsay, about how so many people right now are struggling with being multi passionate. And also I think we get it really confused with thinking that our purpose, like we're waiting until we get our purpose delivered by the butterfly with the scroll.

Yes.

Like we're literally all waiting for that moment. And the thing is, is that you just need money to start and of course you need to do something that you're gonna be motivated by. But when we were talking, Natalie Ellis from Boss Babe talks about this all the time about, you know, you really want to do something, just anything that you are even remotely interested in and grow it until you get that can support that next thing, which still probably won't be your biggest vision and your biggest purpose because it never comes in that clear. It just doesn't. So I think that you need to go really deep on something, make sure that that profit center is making you enough money that you could leave it and somebody owns it. So. Meaning it's going to make enough money where you could hire someone just to take it over and it could still be making you money while you are no longer paying attention to it. And then what happens is then you can start that next one. And that's literally what we've always done. We did that with my gym, we did that with Isagenix, with network marketing, we did that with different E courses that we did. And I think that's really important to make sure that you are getting that income coming in from something. Otherwise you are super scattered. Scattered focus equals scattered results. How about you, Lindsay?

Well, in that conversation last night really was such a great answer because I think that oftentimes, and I saw this both when I was coaching people in network marketing, coaching entrepreneurs now is sometimes when it does get to that point, business is not supposed to always be fun. And I feel like when people get to that point of wanting to throw in the towel, it's either because something that they've been doing isn't working and it's. It feels easier to just pull the plug. But your lesson that you need to learn might be still in that business and you're gonna jump into another business and not have learned the lesson and then just find yourself in the same place. I feel like I'm also giving relationship advice. Oh, I was just thinking, I didn't realize I was this wise, but I think it's a bathrobe.

It is.

There's something about the morning bathrobes. Yeah.

But there was a point for me, there were two points where I knew I was ready to pivot when, when I was ready to go all in on the new idea. But I always stacked them so I always had one income source set up. I would start, I'd start the next. But I've never truly, I guess other than quitting my full time job, never thrown in a towel. But then there was a point where I had to make the conscious decision to set up systems to let the other business run itself, like network marketing and then go all in on the next thing. But that was different than I think what she's asking, which is just throwing in the towel, starting something brand new.

I love hearing about this though, because there are like what I said, not actually. There have been times when I've been like, my soul literally can't be here. Anymore. So I've had to throw in the towel and go all in. But I do think there are personalities where, you know, you're not an all in person, so you do need to kind of support yourself. But it's really clear in your body and mind when you know you're an all in person. You're like, I'm just gonna make this happen. I. There's no failing in me right now because I hit the rock bottom. So, Evans, I want to talk. I want to. I want to pivot this question to somebody who has realized that one particular job is not for them and you are going to another one. So I can't remember. I think we talked about it, but did you have this. Did you already know this job was coming before you left the other one? Or were you like, I just got to go.

Yes, I did know this job was coming, and it kind of been brewing, so. And I'm not really in a financial place where I can just be like, bye. I'm just going to chill out and figure things out.

So this is really important because this is where these people are right now.

Yes.

We all have bills to pay, so it's important to kind of line something up. But just like Lindsay was saying, I loved what you said about it's kind of like a relationship.

Yeah.

It's like when you want to throw in the towel on something and you just kind of sit with it and maybe explore it a little bit, because maybe there's something in there that you're just not thinking about.

Like, you have a towel from the gym that's been in your gym bag and it reeks. And you're like, I'm just gonna throw this away. But. But then someone's like, have you ever thought of, like, putting some cleaner on this? Or bleach or vinegar? Yeah. Yeah. So sometimes you just gotta throw some vinegar in people's faces and make it new.

Don't throw away that towel.

Actually, I'm all about throwing old junk, but that's a whole other conversation.

Different. Different.

That is different. So let's differentiate. I think that we really nailed that one. What's another one?

Oh, yeah, this is from.

Jess. I love Ms. Jess.

I love Ms. Jesse. I'd love to hear about changing even when your spouse isn't ready. What a popular question this has been.

This is the question of the whole world. Literally the century that's about to end. This question will be wiped clear. They'll be like, I have so much clarity what to do with my spouse, because of questionably awesome. Somebody go. Wow. Somebody help me.

Okay, well, this is.

Say that question one more time so I can just. Really?

I'll read it.

Yeah, this is Lindsay.

Lindsay Schwartz speaking. I'd love to hear about changing even when your spouse isn't ready. And I think that can even relate to, like, even if your friends aren't ready, even if anyone around you. And this has been something that I've definitely had to deal with or just sit with in my own. In my own journey. And I feel like. So I've been married nine years. My husband, Elliot. Is Elliot, the best man on earth. Sorry, other guys.

One of them.

Sorry, guys. One of the best. And one of the things that I noticed. So I'm like, the overachiever. Very type A. Always waking up with a new business idea. And he is like our. He's the one who's so centered, so grounded, and all about my big ideas. He just is wired really differently. And I had to learn this early on in our marriage that if I expected him to be like me and want to do the same personal development as me or want to grow in the same way that I want to grow, that it was gonna be a recipe for a disaster. More relationship advice. I love it. I know.

No, this is what it always turns into, right?

It's so good. And so I had to really look within. At what expectations was I placing on him? Like, he's gonna live his own journey. Your friends are gonna live their own journey, and you just have to be fully focused on yours. Whenever I start to. Cause I'm a human. Whenever I notice myself starting to. This is shocking. Breaking news. I only like robots. Breaking news in bathrobes. But when I notice myself getting frustrated with him, the best advice I can give is look within. Like, why am I getting frustrated? What expectation am I putting on him? Because I can always find the answer within myself. It's horrible. I want it to be someone else's fault, but it's usually mine.

Wow, that's really great. That's, like, so fricking great. Because I just pictured whenever I was putting expectations on Chris, it was because I was like, I wanted someone to save me. Or I was like. I was like, I need more support in this. Or, I don't know how to do this. Why doesn't he know how to do this? And it's like, this is not what he chose. So you figure it out. And it's that always, like, grasping for straws, feeling. And whenever I'm grasping externally, I know that's really time to go and sit with the really uncomfortable stuff that I need to figure out. So how to support myself, whether it's hiring someone else or asking someone else. But don't rely on my husband for all of that stuff. And I totally, totally was doing that. Evans, what are you relying on Adam for? What are you doing?

Everything. I rely on him for everything.

No, he's sitting under the table.

Complete me. You complete me.

He's giving me my answers right now.

Through a little earpiece. Yeah.

Oh, I love Jim and Pam.

I know.

No, I. I love this advice because we're. You have to be your own person, and you can't rely on one person to fill in all the things that are missing from you. And it's okay to be different. That's what makes everything great. That you have two different, completely different perspectives and you can lift each other up on different things. And I love what Lindsay said about her husband being very centered and grounded. That's so important. It's okay to be different.

What do you think is Adam's opposite, like, trait that really helps you with a trait that can feel a little wild sometimes?

Oh, my gosh. I almost think it's like, maybe I'm Lindsay. Maybe I'm more like your husband. And I'm a little more. Because he's always like, let's go on this trip. Let's do this. And I love being adventurous, but I'm also like, let's just stay here and, like, make brownies.

Yes.

And it's like, why don't just go out and do something?

But there's a part of him that also needs that because he might be very airy. And you're like, it's important to ground ourselves with brownies. There is so much importance in making sure that you are grounded with brownies. In fact, I wish the ground was brownies a lot.

Me too.

I would never move.

Would you like to lay on a brownie bed? Do you think that we could. What if we could get a bed where the. The bed frame was a cake pan and we just. Hey, when you were younger, did you make Barbie beds out of really weird things?

Like 100%.

We should make a Barbie bed out of, like, a brownie pan. Because I used to fill a Ziploc bag with water and it would be a water bed.

Okay.

I was never that forward thinking. On my bed. I would use, like, a washcloth and make it and fold it really nicely.

Oh, that's interesting. I never thought of that. That's also very, very Forward thinking. Yeah, but she would lay on a ziploc bag full of water and we would just put a little sheet on there or something.

What happened to waterbeds? This is an actual question.

I think that you sweat and you roll around and you get stuck in the side and.

Motion sickness.

Oh, I just used to think waterbeds were so sexy. So I was like a 10 year old thinking this was sexy. So. Never underestimate the power of a 10 year old brain. Those things are so heavy though.

They.

Oh, how do they get them in.

And out of houses?

I think they. Yeah, how did you drink? Remember, like there'd be a hose running up to a bedroom. They're like, we're filling the waterbed, we got a new water bed. I was like, that's sexy.

Yeah.

They're like, why did you say that, you weird 10 year old? And I was like, I don't know.

I don't even know what sexy means. But that.

I don't know. But that's a word that seemed really cool in the 80s.

Oh my God.

Like Robert Palmer, Remember? I just wanted to be a Robert Palmer.

Girl on a waterbed.

Sock on a waterbed. What was my problem? I had some issues, guys, I don't know, putting Barbies on waterbeds. We gotta just move on. What's the next question? Please help me. Lindsay, we were expressing the importance of the W in your name.

Oh, last week. Yes. That's another conversation for another show. Yeah, just imagine. Just go ahead and spell Schwartz without the W. There you go.

Spells Sharts.

Someone actually spelled it that way one time. It happened. Yeah.

Too many people finish their workday feeling frustrated, drained and unfulfilled. I know that. I have experienced that myself. And the good news is it doesn't have to be this way. And you don't need a new job to fix it.

It.

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Okay, here's the next question. This is Lindsay Schwartz with a W. What do you do when people think you're changing but you know you're stepping back into yourself? Oh, I'm sorry. Ema922 thank you.

You literally just keep yelling out metamorphosis everywhere you go. And you buy butterfly wings from the third straight promenade because they sell them down there. Evans knows exactly what I'm talking about. There is a woman constantly, daily in like butterfly wings dancing around, she's changing and you scream metamorphosis. People are like, you're changing and you're like metamorphosis. And that's about it. Okay guys, I need you to elaborate on that.

Well, if I were, I think what you're asking at Tema 922 is more about the what do you do when people around you are not okay. With you changing. Typically, if someone is saying you're changing, it's not the friend who's like, yeah, you're changing.

Yeah, you go, you. You go. I'm so excited about you not drinking with me anymore. Every night.

It's like that you're changing with the concept. Yes. Very judgy, judgy eyes. And I think it's the same as what we were saying about the spouse question, that you have to live your own journey. You have to put your blinders on and stay in your lane. And this was really hard for me. Really, really hard. I want to take every single person along with me. And so if you were wired like that, which I'm the type of person that would have asked this question too. So I'm guessing we have. I'm guessing we're spirit animals. And you didn't know it and I didn't know it, but now we know. Ooh, that was like a pigeon. It's a spirit pigeon.

I was thinking owl, but pigeon's fine.

That was more of a pigeon.

Oh, yeah.

But this is the kind of question I would have asked because what I was really afraid of is my relationships changing as I change. And they're going to some will. And it never feels easy. So just allow it to not feel easy. I think that's the best advice that I can give is just love them. I will think of those people and literally send them so much love. And never.

Even though you are, like, so angry.

With them, even though. Or sometimes hurt. Usually it's not angry. Usually it's hurt.

You hurt for sure.

But realize that I have to live my own journey because I'm not doing them a favor either. And I think this is what helped me switch it around, is realizing that I'm actually not doing them a favor. If I try to stay a certain way to make them more comfortable, then it's almost enabling them not changing either. And we're put on this planet to change and to grow. And that shit is uncomfortable.

So bad.

So uncomfortable.

Oh, my God. So good. That was such a beautiful answer. So, Evans, I want to know with character, because I think some of that comes down to people try to pinpoint people go after your character when they want you to stay the same. And I think that judging and saying those things about someone or you've changed is the fastest way to manipulate someone to stop being who they're supposed to become. And I think that we know especially just gonna call it out, especially as women, I think that we can be master manipulators of. We know how to make people, like kind of kick them right where it counts. Like, we have that bullseye on them. So it's kind of like I know that if I said something to this person, like, you're changing or you're not staying true to who you are or you're not being authentic or you don't have your priorities straight. That's a big one. Where, like, you're changing and maybe your friends aren't put first anymore. Oh, yeah. These are all things that have been been said to me. And I know that you guys have all gotten them as well. Because if you're on the path to becoming your authentic self, you have to change. You're like, yeah, because I'm not that girl who's 6 years old and in kindergarten anymore. Like, what would happen if we didn't change?

We'd still be making Barbie waterbeds.

Which is going to happen later.

Which, by the way, which not going.

To tell you if we are doing that or not.

No problem.

Remember that song?

Yes.

So going after. Has somebody gone after your character in your life that has made you feel bad? And can we call them out on here by name? Just kidding.

Yes.

They live.

No, I'm just kidding. 5, 5, 5.

It's always 5, 5, 5, 2, 2, 2.

Yeah.

I think there's. There are always people, unfortunately, that say things that aren't very nice. And it's usually because they're hurting themselves. And it can be really hard when you're the person who's hurt by it. Cause you don't want to think, oh, yeah, they're just hurting right now. It's okay that you crush me like that.

Totally fine. That you're a total a hole.

This is great that you're treating me this terribly. But I like what Lindsay said and giving them love and people you're supposed to change. You're not doing anything wrong by changing. It's a good thing.

Yeah.

And keep that in mind and just continue to shower those people with love. And you're gonna encounter some a holes.

Yeah.

And it's okay.

Yeah.

I would love to elaborate on this elab. When you were talking about just someone challenging your character and having it come out that way. So here's the. Really. Here's the part that I don't love. That is true. So I had an experience like that. But my first reaction was to just get super defensive and be like. And go and defend my reputation to people. But it was a growth opportunity in itself to actually step back and go, okay, if I'm looking at this through the filter of, is any of this true? Have I not been showing up the way I want to in that person's life? It actually, it helped me get out of that defensive mode and grow from it. And the ultimate. The result of it was actually that I loved myself more. Like, I actually checked in and I said, okay, here's some areas where I can see that criticism was coming from a place of, yeah, I wasn't showing up the way I wanted to in that person's life. I'm gonna grow from that. I'm gonna take it. But actually, I know who I am and it allowed me to break free. Cause this is something that was a huge roadblock for me, was caring so much about what other people think.

Oh, yeah.

And actually, like, I wasn't able to break free from that until I had someone hate my guts.

And it really, it's so true.

It's so freeing in a way. And I really say that with so much love because that came into my life for me because there were a lot of things I could never move forward on until I realized, like, I do have like a tendency to. I almost look at it like there's two. My biggest strength is also my biggest weakness. I'm great at connecting. I can make anyone feel like they are welcome in my life. I give hugs freely. I'm great at connecting with people. On the flip side of that is also my biggest weakness, which is I can tend to swing into like, the people pleasing tendency. Care too much what people think. And so I just have to be mindful when I'm in my strengths. With that I am unstoppable. I can do anything. And then when I'm in an unhealthy place with it, I'm just putting way too much value on the opinions of others. And that has held me back. So now just even finding that balance has been so freeing. As free as wearing this bathrobe.

It is. And you know what's so crazy is, like, what really shocks me is how awesome we are and people still really hate us. It's like, Evans, I actually can't picture people not liking you, but are there those people out there?

Oh, yeah. I remember one girl in college who really didn't like me at all.

Are you kidding?

She did not like. Her name is.

No.

And you know what? That's okay.

Why do you like? Because. Why didn't she like you? What was the thing?

Honestly, I don't think either of us.

Did you wear sexy Clothes around her boyfriend.

Oh, so many turtlenecks.

The sexy kind. Yeah, the sexy guy.

We just had different kinds of sense of humor. And I don't think she found me funny.

She wasn't funny.

So she had a bad sense. I totally get it.

Those people exist out there. Wasn't funny. I see you. Sharon.

It's weird. She's probably in prison now. It's fine.

Oh, she's really nice in her own way.

She doesn't know who she's not on here. Evans. You don't have to make her happy right now.

She's not sitting in a bathrobe sharing a mic.

See, here I am trying to.

I'm a huge. You're literally.

I was gonna say you're defending. You're defending Sharon or Martha or. Or Bobby Jo right now.

Sharon.

Yeah, I guarantee that.

Sharon. Different Sharon.

Different Bobby Jo.

Sharon. I.

Like, I'm just not even gonna go.

There, but that's so true. I can't imagine anyone not liking you.

I cannot.

You guys, everyone.

What was your sense of humor like? How does that even work?

I think it was the same.

I think my sense of humor stayed pretty steady.

No, I mean hers.

Oh.

Oh.

I don't really know.

I don't.

I didn't really know her that well.

Get it?

I don't think we laugh that much together. But that's okay.

You know what I think we should do anybody who has, like, an opposite sense of humor as us. Wait, I totally just lost my joke. Never mind.

But it was real funny.

You guys just. It was gonna be so funny, by the way.

Okay, It'll come back. Bring it back.

Wow. Gone Gonzo. Remember Gonzo? Gonzo knows, like, literally Gonzo from the Muppets. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He was great. All right. Do you have time for one more question? Evans. What time do you need to be to work at?

Whenever.

Okay.

Can it be a different topic?

Yeah, let's do it. Let's take one more question on whatever you. You're a wild card. Throw it down, sister.

This is from Meg. Underscore.

Cole.

Underscore.

Oh, she's awesome.

We know her.

How many things is too many things to have on the go? I have. I have so many new fun things I'm into.

Oh, like to have too many. Is she talking about wanting to do in the world?

That's what it sounds like to me.

Because on the go, I'm like, are you just taking a car ride? Because I don't think too many. I think you can bring all the Things on a car ride.

Yeah, you can bring a cooler.

Kombucha, sea snacks, Swedish activities. Yeah, go ahead, guys, answer this one. How many things is too many things?

How many is too many?

I think it's when I'm like, go ahead, guys. Here's what I think. I think it's when you're not taking action on any of them, that's too many things. So if you're like, how many things is too many things? And you're like, well, nothing's moving forward because you're not taking strategic needle moving actions, then that's too many things. If things are not moving weekly, if not monthly or monthly, if not weekly, that is way too many things. And if you are not monetizing things that you're not being supported by these things, that's too many things as well. So there are some people who can really juggle a lot of things. But I think that's after going deep on a few things. I like saying things clearly.

Lots of things.

What do you guys think? What's too many things?

7.

I think it goes. It's very individual because sometimes one thing is too much for one person. Sometimes if you're not clear on what that thing is.

Yeah, I think you nailed it. Because I am also multi passionate. I love to have a lot of. I function better when I have a full plate. And it's also the first place that I go to self sabotage is to create this plate that is so full. It's like the Thanksgiving plate that there's not a single space on it and you're trying to juggle it. And then also get another plate for dessert and you drop one of the plates.

That's my worst nightmare.

And then nothing gets eaten.

Because that's my Thanksgiving nightmare right there.

Right, exactly. So I think the litmus test is, are you moving forward? Have you prioritized those? I always have a vault of more things that I want to do later. I have a huge vault right now. You should see it. It's like my grandma's closet that she buys gifts at any time. She goes into the clearance section and she just has gifts. Like, you'll bring a boyfriend to Christmas that she didn't know was coming. She has a gift for him. It's usually socks or underwear.

She's one of those that buys like every season. She has all these collection of things.

I know people has a closet like that.

Yeah, it's like, you need.

That's my boyfriend.

To bring back and be like, Elliot, I was doing this because grandma has gifts for these guys.

I need to help her.

Yeah, we need to help her feel good about herself.

Your grandma's a good example because she's happy with all of those things. But when does it get too much?

Do you think grandma's secretly overwhelmed? Like, when she goes by the closet? Is she just like, I need more stuff. There's not enough? Or is it like, I don't know.

Who to give this to?

When are they gonna start popping off babies?

Like. Like, don't you. Don't even give me.

We won't even. We're not. We won't even go there.

Button. Hot button.

Pop. Pop it off, babies. What was I gonna. Evans. I was gonna ask you, because you have a wedding coming up. So here's the thing. Like, I think sometimes we do things in our lives that you get married.

Hitchhiked.

Remember we did one episode about a trailer through.

That.

They're like your trailer. I don't know. Yeah, I can't remember it. It was really, really funny, though.

Like pulling a trailer of stuff you don't need around or something like that.

And that's what your husband is.

Yeah.

I'm just kidding. Just kidding. We love them, but I think something that we do is we have something really big going on in our lives. Perhaps someone is pregnant right now or about to have a baby. Perhaps someone is about to get married. Perhaps someone is about to move. And what we do is we think that we can start these really big, earth shattering projects in the midst of life, completely changing. And looking at it, you have to be really realistic because there's something you don't think it's a big deal, but you are moving or you're getting married or things are changing, or you are really growing and your relationships are changing. So I want to talk about that just for one second. To wrap this all up is acknowledging where you're at in life and giving yourself grace around what you think you can start and what you think you can move into. Because you've had a lot of changes along with getting married. So. So how have you given yourself grace around? Because I know that you also wanted to start other things, but it's like, yes, so do tell.

At first I got really mad at myself and then got really depressed and watched Netflix for about 12 hours. And then you're like, you know what?

It's okay.

I can't fit everything in. Let's not watch Netflix for 12 hours. Because that doesn't solve anything at all. But it's okay that you did.

Yeah.

And Just acknowledging that you're in a busy season right now. This is. Is.

It's.

And I also want to be excited about the season I'm in.

Yeah.

So I don't want to, like, miss out on this fun time in my life just because I'm like, I can't do everything. That's okay. You're in a big, cool part of your life right now. Just soak it up and then be patient.

Yes, yes, yes. Have you ever just wanted those applause buttons? Because we get really, really. That sounds so cool when you do that.

Oh, it does.

Like, together. Yes.

And it's just.

We need to add sound effects.

Yeah.

That just really made me realize we are missing out. But I think they need to be our own. That we pre record. Yeah. Or it's not going to feel authentic and people will say that we've changed. Yeah. That's the worst. So, you guys, I always like to part with a little bit of practical wisdom. Evans, do you have any?

Yes. I would say eat more spinach because it really doesn't taste like anything and you can add it to everything.

Oh, my God. Yes.

But it makes your sweat, your teeth feel like they're wearing little sweaters. That's the only thing about spinach. Yeah. It really does.

Practical wisdom.

Brush your teeth after eating spinach.

Yes.

Yeah.

Yeah. I would have to say disguise it in your children's food. Like, just blend it up and put it into a cookie. And they're like, why is this green? And you'll be like, because Christmas is coming. Eat it. Shut up. That's what I'm going to be like with my kids.

Yep.

Because that's called good parenting. Hashtag good parenting through spinach and yelling. All right, so sending love to you guys. This has been really great for us. Hopefully you feel the same. If not, don't let us know until next time. Be questionably awesome. Earn your happy. Say goodbye, ladies. Sing it.

Bye. Bye.

Bye. Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing, and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review. If you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment, tell us what you think. Tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again. Guys. Bye. Bye.