438: Become the match for what you want

The sooner that we can just see and understand what unconditional love is and move right back into our joy and letting go and choosing again and saying, I'm not going to be the match for this feeling. I'm not going to be the match for this outcome. I'm going to be the match for what I want. Welcome to the Earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves, get ready to earn, own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Welcome back to the Earn your happy podcast and it's time for another quickie because there's always time to fit in inspiration and I am so excited and honored to be with you in your car, on your run, in the grocery store. I have so much fun thinking of you guys wherever you're at, listening to this podcast. Maybe you listen to questionably awesome. Maybe you listen to the interviews, maybe you listen to the quickies and really knowing who I'm talking to and maybe picturing you guys really feeling a message, having some of our words or one of the interviews or something that we're saying or some a message that's coming through for me to unlock a part of you that has always been there but was maybe stagnant and just needed someone who has been there before or somebody to say something in a certain way or someone's story to give yourself permission to unlock that part of you that's been hidden away. Maybe you did it out of protection. Maybe you did it to feel safe. Maybe you did it because you're afraid of your own power, you're afraid of your own strength and you're afraid of your own light. And I pray that with this podcast that it is helping you see that that truly is where all of the beauty and miracles are manifested is when you can own that and when you fully embody that and you shine it on people even when they are not prepared for it. And sometimes that light can be rejected and we can think that we are shining too much, or we can think that we aren't good enough, or A really quick way that people try to get us to not be in our light, if they haven't recognized theirs yet, is to make us feel bad or manipulate us or judge our character. So I always want to remind you that those are all opportunities, and we're getting a lot of opportunities every single day. Whether you are being bullied online, or whether you have a friend who is questioning who you are as you grow, or whether you are completely doubting yourself and not feeling smart enough, these are all opportunities to shine the light where there is dark. And I always think, and always know from wherever I've been, that sometimes the harder the lesson, the more light you're going to be able to shine afterward, and the more you're going to understand things that you couldn't see. And I recently had an experience that I'm not. I don't know if I'm through to the other side yet. I'll be sharing more later. But just where I really was in the past, I would have gone to a very dark place. It would have taken me down for a really long time. And he was able to bounce right back knowing that it is not our place to feel bad. We are not meant to feel bad. We are not meant to feel guilty, and we are not meant to feel shame. If there is something that happened or something we did, or something we said said, or something someone said to us, or an occurrence that has happened, the sooner that you can bring light to it, the sooner that you can let go, forgive the person and. Or forgive yourself. And the sooner that you can just stay in the light and not be a match for the negativity, not be a match for the darkness, not be a match for the drama, not be a match for gossip, not be a match for fear.

Fear.

The sooner that you can bring light to that, the sooner that you can see the lesson and get back into joy. And our job is to just go up that chain and go into joy, go up that chain of emotions and go into joy. And this seems too easy. It seems like it's not the truth. Especially if we've had upbringings of thinking that our pain has a serious purpose or that guilt is a way that we show that we are repentant, or shame is a way that we show that we feel bad for something that we did. Except if you truly understood what love, with no contingencies from your creator, the universe actually means, and this is a message that's coming through so clearly for me, then you will be able to know that the second you realize and get the lesson that you don't need to carry those feelings to. To abuse yourself or to put yourself in a place of thinking that you need to pay for something that you did or someone else did, or for somebody misunderstanding you or for someone mistreating you or that they need to pay either. And the sooner that we can just see and understand what unconditional love is and move right back into our joy and letting go and choosing again and saying, I'm not going to be the match for this feeling. I'm not going to be the match for this outcome. I'm going to be the match for what I want. And that's what I've been saying over and over and over again. Whether it's something big or whether it's something small. I've just literally said, what am I the match for right now? And if I have a fear story come in, you guys. You can go on Instagram, you can go on the news, you can listen to some friends drama, you can be in line at the coffee shop and hear people on the phone. And I'm hear negative things all day long, except I don't choose to focus on them. I really choose to look at the positive. So I really believe that my life is full of way more positive things than negative things. Because I just say, oh, I'm not the match for that. Like that. That might be yours right now, but I'm not the match for that emotion. I'm not the match for the outcome that might come with that feeling. So I'm gonna switch. What am I the match for? And a lot of times if I'm trying to get back to joy, I look at things that make me a match for joy. So, you know, if I'm making a choice of what I wanna eat that night, I'm like, okay, I really just want some bad comfort food. And I try not to use the word bad around any food, but I do know that, you know, some food is a match for good, and some food is a match for a higher vibration and feeling better and having more energy. So if I'm in a place where I'm like, hey, you're really at a crossroads right now of being the match for something you don't want to be. So what do you want to be the match for? And what are the things that make you that? So, you know, I. Chris wanted to go to a movie and he wanted to go to a movie that was kind of dark. And I'm. I was just having a week where I'm like, you know what? I want to be the match for Joy. So if you want to go to that movie, totally fine. But I don't want to be a match for those feelings. So I'm going to, you know, go see something else while you go to that movie. I don't care if he goes, that's great. He has more control right now over certain emotions in his life. So for me, if I'm in a sensitive place, I'm like, no, I'm gonna wait until. Until that's something that I can just, like, be the observer and not feel like I'm getting roped into the emotion. So I'm really being a serious guardian over what I'm the match for and who makes me feel a certain way, what literature makes me feel a certain way, who I'm following, what I'm listen.

So much of that.

So what do you want to be the match for and really look in your life and be like, where am I? Like, creating things or bringing things in that are a match for a different outcome than what I actually want. And you guys, just because it's in your life doesn't mean it's going to happen. You can actually look at things and have people in your life who are negative and just be like, I'm going to be an observer, and I. I don't have to get roped into where they're going. So I'm not going to be a match for that, even though it's in my presence. So don't freak out. Things happen every day. Sometimes there's shows on in my house that I'm not going freak out over, and I'm just like, you know what? I'm gonna be a match for something else. I'm gonna look at something else while this is going on or whatever that is. So you don't always have control over. Technically, we do have control, but to the point where, you know, you can be, have, have things, be around things, and you can still choose to be a match for something else and not let something in. So, really, really, just saying, how do I want to feel? And choosing again and being a match for exactly what you want. So, you guys, I want to know if this resonated with you, if there's something in your life right now that you are going to choose to not be available for. Just, I'm not available for that outcome. I'm actually not available for that conversation right now. I'm actually not available to feel that negativity right now because I'm choosing to be A match for something else. And I think that that's so powerful. Is it because it acknowledges it. It's not like you're living in this world that doesn't exist, you know, because whatever we focus on can be there. Saying that is there. And I'm choosing something else. And I'm choosing to breathe life into the existence of something else. And I think that's just the coolest thing to start to watch, how you create a world inside of a world that you actually used to think exists. So now I'm like, wow, I've really taken an active part in creating such a powerful world for me to live in outside of the world that I used to live in. And nothing has changed. It's just not being a match for certain things is what has completely changed how I see see everything and how I can see everything with light. This does not mean that I don't get down. It means that I make faster choices and that's all there is to it. I just make faster choices. And you know, some choices last longer than others. And now I am choosing to let go even faster because I really have faith and believe that my creator does not want me to be in those negative feelings or have me repay or have someone else repay by paying through those feelings. I just, just don't believe it. I'm not a match for that belief that love is conditional. So I hope that this helped you wherever you're at. And I believe that our true purpose is to stay in that joy because that's where we help other people. We get outside of our heads. We get outside of our small worlds. We get outside of thinking the world is bad and we expand and we grow and we give our talents to people and we give our efforts to people and we give our money to people. And that's the only place that it can come from is that expansive place of love and joy and not fear.

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So much love today and if this resonated with you, I would love to hear what resonated and where you're at. Share it on your stories. Go follow me at Lori Harder. I love love love love love when you shout out on stories what's resonating Because I answer every single message of the podcast because I want to know what you want to talk about. I want to know what you want to hear. I want to know where you're at. So let me know so that I can keep talking to you. And you guys have the most amazing day. Until next time, earn your happy. Bye everyone. Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment. Tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again guys. Bye Bye.