443: Your burning questions about RELATIONSHIPS answered

Another limiting belief was the more that I felt shame or bad for something that I did, the more I was repentant of it. And I don't believe that's true at all. I think the second that you acknowledge it, you've actually already been forgiven. Welcome to the earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul, and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves, get ready to earn, own, and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go, foreign. Welcome back to questionably awesome. I'm here with my co host, Veronica. Veronica's in the house. Would that be your name? I'm here with Evans.

I like Veronica.

I think that's a really great, like, 80s Wall street name. Me too.

Veronica does not take any.

She sure doesn't. And she wears pencil skirts.

Yes.

And very high heels.

Yes. And blue eyeshadow.

Oh, for sure. And she clicks down that hallway like nobody else. Yeah. They're like, veronica's coming. Get to work.

Yeah.

They're like, hi.

Something.

I don't know.

And her friends call her Ronnie.

Oh, I like that because she's actually like such a homegirl, like, when she's not in the office. But when she's in the office, she is Veronica. I love that. So you have. This is like your month, you Scorpio queen goddess Campbell W. A great day. So her birthday is November 5th, which was. You'll be hearing this a few days after. But it's your birthday week. Do you do that? Are you just like, no, no, it's my birthday week. Like, I believe that if it falls anywhere from Monday to Thursday, you get the whole week because you get gypped. Otherwise it's like, no, this is a business day.

I completely agree.

Yeah. You're like, no, my birthday's not happening during the week. It's happening all week, every single week, especially on the weekend.

I support that 100%.

And then, so November 5th is your birthday, and then November, what is your wedding day?

16Th.

Oh, yes, that's right. The only reason I won't be there, which really just. I've come to peace with this. Had a lot of prayer sessions.

Me, too.

Is because we're doing the aligned event.

Which is gonna be wonderful.

It sure is. But. It sure is. But I sure would have loved to also have been at your wedding. So we are going to celebrate Thanksgiving with you.

Yeah.

And I can't wait. Wait. So fun. Like, I can't wait to give thanks with you and Adam.

I seriously can't wait either. I'll have a husband.

You will. I was thinking that yesterday. I was literally thinking at the table, I was like, they're gonna be newlyweds at our Thanksgiving. So, you guys, we're actually having a friendsgiving this year because Chris's parents normally always have Thanksgiving with us, but they are staying back because they have a new house that they want to make sure freeze is over decently. Isn't that funny? Like, it's an old log cabin that was remodeled and in the Midwest, like, if you close up your house for the winter, you need to make sure, like, if you've never been there, that everything, once it hits freezing temps, that it's, like, not gonna bust or pipes are gonna bust or whatever. So they kind of want to just stay and see how it freezes over till December, and then they're coming out.

That is amazing.

So we were like, wait. This is also a fun opportunity to have a friendsgiving.

Yeah.

So fun. We are also having. Do you know. You know Rob and Kim Murgatroyd?

Yeah.

Are they coming? I just got better. So. Very exciting.

Shout out. Rob and Kim. Robin. Kim.

Sometimes Rob listens to this, so it's exciting. I'm very excited to see he has a Work Hard, Play Hard podcast that. He is, like, one of my favorite podcast hosts.

He's so thorough with his interviews and questions.

Work hard.

Work hard.

That's him.

Yeah. All right.

So you got a quote?

Oh, yeah, I really do.

Wait, yeah. Read it, because then I just need to ask another question.

Okay. This is from Kerry Washington. I really believe that if I want something, God has three answers. It's either yes, yes, but right, yes, but not right now, or no, because I have something better in store for you.

That is the best.

I love that.

Should really paint that on the back of every bathroom stall.

Yes.

We knew what was good for us.

That would be amazing.

And sometimes when you're constipated, it's like, which answer is this?

Not right now.

Something better is coming.

Yeah.

Don't get greedy with a daily poop. I'm going to make something explode tomorrow, and you're going to be so grateful.

Oh, I hate when that happens.

I. I do. But sometimes it's a real big relief when it does. It just depends on where it happens, you know, Stay regular out there, everybody. It's true. Like, you know what? Do what it takes right now. I'm not even kidding you. If you are not regular, go do what it takes right now. Because it will sneak up on you when you least want it.

Especially during holiday season. Oh, yeah, there's a lot of dairy around during the holidays.

There is a lot of dairy. So stop you right up. Cheese, A lot of sugar. A lot of the things that will stop you right up.

Yep.

And then you won't want to get in your dress because you're like, I have a Lincoln log the size of Delaware in my.

Lincoln log. Oh, God.

It's all right.

Everyone knows what you're talking about, too. You're acting like you don't, but you do.

You do. Some of you have one jammed up in there right now.

Yeah.

You know, and I hope it gets out. I do too. You know, have some fiber. Move. The key is also moving your body.

Yeah. It's like when you take your dog to walk, it takes a couple blocks.

It sure does. So you. Speaking of, I watched the Art of Racing in the Rain last night. Have you seen that yet?

If it's an animal movie, it's that dog movie, isn't it?

It's literally so. It's not even like. It's not sad because the dog. You know, because something happens to the dog necessarily. Even though it does. But it's so happy. But also the whole movie is like a lot of just like a hard life. But also the dog is so freaking amazing and talks through the whole thing. Oh, man, it is such a great movie. And also so terrible. Like, because I cried for two hours straigh. I can't actually believe that my eyes are not sealed shut right now. And Chris was just like. The whole time we were yelling like, this is terrible. And we were crying because it's so emotional but so cute. I highly recommend if you're just like.

You want to cry for two hours. Yeah.

Which is weird because it was like. Not the cry that's like. It was such a life is so beautiful kind of cry as well through it. So it's real interesting. I can't. I don't know. I. You. I'm obsessed with animals. So I just like after that, we laid on the floor with waffles and just like cuddled her and talked to her.

Yeah.

It Was really, really emotional.

Movies with animals can be very.

I usually can't watch them. If there's any, like, abuse with animals, I'm like, nope. Yeah, this one's gotta go. Because I can't even. I'm like. Like, I literally scream and freak out at people. So, yeah. I'm one of those people that if I literally saw anything on the street like, that, I would legit have a conniption fit and probably go throw down.

As you should.

Yeah. As you should.

So I have a quote from Neil Donald Walsh. The day will come when you will review your life and be thankful for every minute, every hurt, every sorrow, every joy, every celebration, every moment of your life will be a treasure to you, for you will see the utter perfection of its design. You will stand back from the weaving and see the tapestry, and you will weep at the beauty of it.

Wow.

I just. I'm in such a place where. Here's the deal. I really feel like when we get those glimpses of that, of that quote in our life, that's when we just have to, like, get so deeply grateful. And I feel like we get glimpses of it, but we pass it by. And if we can learn to start embracing those glimpses of, like, wow, life is so good. Even when there's pain or sorrow or upset or something's happening in your business or someone's upset with you, like, those are all the threads that make up a really, really strong, beautiful quilt. Like, you need those in order to make it interesting. Or it's just all one color.

Like, that's a beautiful way to think of it.

Yeah. And while I love beige and white everything. Me too. I think a good life quilt requires colors.

Yes. Your life quilt would just be beautiful colors and different textures.

That means you.

You're living it.

And then you'll have, like, a snag or a knot somewhere, and you'll be like, yeah, that was a hiccup. But that's, like, also now a special part of it.

Yeah. And I'm thankful for that because it made me think of this differently.

Something in your life that just really sucked balls that, like, really has taught you something really great now.

Yes.

Oh, dear Lord.

My dad was remarried, and it's a very complicated relationship with me and his new wife, who isn't new anymore.

Right. She's now part of the fam for a long time, and it's always been.

Hard, but it's okay. And I've grown so much from it, and I've grown closer to my dad because of It. So if you're in a hard place with one of your parents, can I.

Ask, did you have to like, just go back? And I, I won't dig too deep into that one. But when you would have your moments of maybe just like upset, because of course that's like, you know, you love your mom.

Yeah.

And did you mourn the loss of the, the marriage or did you mourn that? Like, what was the hardest part about someone new coming in?

Oh, it was just an icky situation and it was. I, I felt betrayed almost for my mom too. And, and that's okay that I felt that way.

And you know what helped?

Going to a therapist.

Yeah. Is it because you got to work through it and talk about it?

Yes.

Because I'm sure a lot of people are in a situation right now. So, like, can you just apply the wisdom that came from like feeling betrayed? Because I think so many of us have felt that way without even putting words to it.

Yes.

And it's usually it's, you know, the feeling of betrayal can come from ourselves and it comes from someone very close to us. But it's also the deepest learning lesson I think you'll ever get in your entire life.

Oh, yeah.

Learn to be okay.

Yes.

Amongst that feeling.

And you have to learn that your parents, and sometimes you think of your parents as not humans.

Yeah. And they're doing the best.

Yes. They're doing the best they can. And they make mistakes and I'll make mistakes and do make mistakes all the time. And you just work through them. And also therapists are really good about if you have an issue, you can speaking it out loud. Yes. So powerful.

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Oh my God. Like just even within my mastermind, the Danette and Lindsay, like every two weeks being able to speak out loud, what is going on with me? A lot of times most problems if you resolve them quickly, like when there's just a little bit of smoke, they don't turn into a fire. So it's like just even being able to say it, I'm like oh I see I'm taking this way too personally. Or oh, I need to go talk. I need to go point this out or talk this out right away. Like, I about to read. I'm like been a read. I'm on a reading kick right now, which I went through a bit of a drought. But I'm about to read Radical Candor. But I heard that there is a TED Talk that I'm gonna listen to this week that's like 22 minutes long by the. I think it's Kim Scott. I believe or just Google like Radical Candor. TED Talk might be something really great for your company to watch. Cause I was just. Was I interviewing either interviewing someone and they have interviewing someone who runs a big company and they have their all employees watch Radical Candor that TED Talk. Okay, so I ordered the books for my all my team and we're going to watch the talk because it's about like before anything can even come up. You have a conversation over it and it's going to make for like a super strong team.

I love that. Yeah.

So totally huge.

Huge.

Oh, have you and Adam watch it.

That's a great idea.

You guys should watch it together and be like, where in our lives are we not Radical Candoring?

Yes. We just went to. I just want to give a shout out to couples therapy.

Yeah, it's the best. Like, what do you learn there? Communication skills.

Communication skills. Talk about finances. Is something hard for me to talk about.

Oh, yeah, totally. For a lot of people. Yeah.

And you know what? It doesn't have to be just do a check in.

You just have to face it. Or it's. It's like. It's so funny. It will just grow and expand and turn into something that totally doesn't even exist. It's so ridiculous if you let it. And instead you could actually just talk about it and be like. Like, oh my God. Yeah, there's this. It's like a little tiny pink fuzzy monster, but it's standing in the way of a spotlight. So the shadow is like huge. And all of a sudden you turn around, you're like, wait, that thing is six inches tall? Yeah, it's just a teeny tiny little 47, 000ft tall. No, no, it's a fluff.

You can all be worked out every.

Time a problem comes up. Just be like, this is actually just a fluff.

Actually, I really like that image of excuse me, a pink fluff monster as my problems.

Totally. It's just this little tiny cute like, hey, Evans. Yeah, I just really want and you're like, oh, my God. Because it's this giant shadow on the wall and it's like, I'm on the wall. And then you turn around, it's like, just kidding. I'm throwing my voice.

Yeah.

I'm actually just teeny tiny thorn on your side. Okay, what's next?

Oh, yeah. Do we need a question review? A review. Oh, I forgot. Oh, this is really good.

We only do it once a week, so it's enough time passes that we're like, what happens next?

This is from C. Clark. There is no question. Just awesome. Oh.

Oh, snap, snap. Double snap.

This is really nice. Lori and Evans travel with me to and from work often.

Wow.

So much that I feel like we get each other. I love the variety of episodes and interviews because it keeps things real and shows the dimensions of human beings versus just one side. My favorite is questionably awesome. To which there's no question about it. It just is awesome. Thank you, Lori, and thank you, Evans, for being authentic and courageous and goofy and giving a spectrum of being that is so relatable and inspiring. I will continue to laugh and answer. Heck yeah.

To your words.

Wisdom on my commute and to and from work. Enjoy. Give a poop if the car next to me thinks I'm talking and laughing to myself. Much love. And she's her ig is Colleen. Colleen Clark coaching.

Oh, Colleen Clark coaching. That was just the best little jolt of coffee in the morning.

It even had poop in it.

Oh, she knows us.

She really listens.

She probably started this off and was like, oh, yes. Sweet relief.

That was so nice, Colleen.

I just thank you for adding to the Lincoln log of our cabin.

Yes.

I feel like we have built a strong community structure together. I'm grateful for you on your way to work. I pray you have a regular day.

Yes, I do too.

Not a right. You know what I mean. I don't want you to have a typical day. That sort of regular. I didn't say typical. No, I said regular, which means. Means score, score, score.

Your digestion is intact.

Means you're a winner. All right, let's move on to some questions.

Okay. And they're about relationships.

Yeah, they are.

This is gonna get real.

It's about to get real real. Okay.

At Krista Dot Ingram, how do I keep the spark alive? With kids and a schedule and the army, that leaves little couple time.

Quickies.

Yeah, you gotta go to the bathroom and just get it done.

Quickies. And I don't mean an episode of earn your happy.

Nope.

But those are Good, too.

Those are great, too. Yeah. Just go to the bathroom and listen to a quick episode of Earn your happy. See? See what kind of sparks fly with that one? Not too many, honey. Let's go get personally developed fast. Yeah.

Yeah.

That'Ll work.

Hey. Yeah, it's very attractive to me. I'm like, look at your brain swelling. Oh, God. Your real brain. Okay.

There's no hope for you. There's.

We're moving on. How do you keep this? Well, I don't have children at all, so this is going to be an answer that you don't necessarily have to listen to, but I hear that it's literally just taking more planning. You know, I was actually just talking to Dave Hollis, Rachel Hollis's husband, and literally said on the podcast that I have coming out, he's like, you just have to like you. He talked about, like, intimacy. He's like, you just have to do it and commit to it. He's like, or you will not do it, because you're never gonna, like, you're never gonna find the time or feel like it. And I know they had, like, three. I think they have three or four kids. Yeah, four. So, yeah. You know, I think we think it's supposed to be, like, these, like, movies that it's like, oh, this magical moment is just gonna happen. I don't know about you, but I don't have those moments where I'm just like, no. Yeah. I have had a crazy day today, and I'm just feeling sexy.

Yeah. I wa. Touch.

Oh, yeah. No, I'm like, give me myself jammies.

Give me my blanket.

Yeah. I was like, no, nothing is happening here except a huge kale salad.

And my favorite show.

Yeah. Doesn't involve you. Yeah, you. You have to just, like, commit to it and plan it. So as unsexy as that is, you almost need to pick a day or whatever that looks like. Or maybe you're, you know, you have a date night every single week that you're like, no, we are committing to, because what you commit to happens. What you don't will not ever, ever happen. So we think it's. Like I said, we think it's supposed to happen. It absolutely 1 million percent will not happen if you both don't get intentional. So once a week. What's our time? Or maybe once every two weeks or whatever that is. Especially if you're starting from zero.

Seriously, don't be like, we need to.

Do this 57 times a week. No, that's not realistic. That is just like, I'd Rather train for the marathon.

Me too. That is trained for the marathon. Good God.

Exactly.

Is not what you think.

Are we doing hit training here?

Yeah. No.

Are we at orange? Oh, no, no, no. I want to take a slow rowboat to China. Like this is. This is not Orange theory quality here. No, it's not what I'm committed to. All right, so I think we answered that cue.

And do you know what our therapist said to us?

What did she say?

Because I. Sometimes I struggle with the physical side of things. And she gave a really great suggestion of just incorporating everyday touches, like holding hands or giving each other just, like, touching each other when you walk. This sounds so creepy.

No, it's so normal.

Rubbing someone's back or sitting closer on the sofa. Just those little things. I think especially for women, when you're really stressed, you kind of need those things to be like, oh, I feel calm. And I'm used to this touch. Because I don't know about you guys, but you can't just, like, turn on that spark.

No, no. When you're.

Women think have so many things going through their brain at once. Men are just like, oh, I have a wiener, you know?

Yeah, totally. They're just like, look at this on the outside.

Mad that I just said that. I'm sorry.

I think they're okay. I think they're like, truth. Yeah, she got that right.

But they think one thought at a time. I think.

Think. That's why. Yes, totally. That's absolutely how it works. There's actually that analogy that's, like. It's so funny. I'll ask Chris. We will have just been fighting. Or, like, something will come up that's, like, huge. And it's taking over my world, and I have 57 things.

Yeah.

Going on in my brain. And like, two minutes after I look at him, and he's, like, very calm, and I go, what are you thinking right now? He's like, oh, I'm thinking about who I'm gonna pick for my first lineup. Fantasy football. I was like, you, mother. I'm over here. Don't worry. I'll worry for both of us. Don't you worry your pretty little head.

And.

And now I actually don't even care when he says that. I'm like, oh, it can be that fast?

Yeah.

So I let him be my permission to let it be that fast. He's like, I just don't think about things longer than they need to. And I'm like, huh? I used to get so mad about that. Like, I used to really believe that you. Okay, so here's a couple limiting beliefs that used to really hold me back about just life in general. I used to believe that the more that you worried, like, the better person that you were. And I didn't know. I didn't know that until I put words to it. Like, the more you worried, the more it showed that you cared. And that is such bullshit. I think that worrying is actually. It's like a course in miracle says it's a prayer for chaos. So you're actually praying for the opposite that you want to happen to happen because you're giving it your energy and your focus.

Right?

So even when I start to think about loved ones or worry about if someone's on a flight, I'm like, don't give your energy to the negative thing. Give your energy to seeing that them. Just think about what you're gonna do once they get here and all of those great things. And just like, pray and be like, all is well, moving on totally. Or you're gonna live a life of worry the whole time. And another limiting belief was the more that I felt shame or bad for something that I did, the more I was repentant of it. And I don't believe that's true at all. I think the second that you acknowledge it, you've actually already been forgiven. So, like, you are. It's love. I think our Creator's love is unconditional. So that actually means that you having to pay for it makes no sense. It's already taken care of.

Yes.

And I'm like, oh, actually, if you have faith and believe in whatever you believe in, energy, universe, God, this applies to all of it. If you actually have faith and believe, you will already know that you've been forgiven. And actually, the opposite of faith and believing is to keep, like, repenting, stressing, feeling that shame and feeling that fear. If you really have faith, you will know that you've already been.

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Com.

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Given that love and forgiveness, it was really, it's really powerful for me. So I'm remembering whenever I'm like worrying or needing to feel bad or shame or guilt or why did I say that? Oh my gosh. I'm like doesn't matter.

No, just move on.

Doesn't matter. Do the best that you can. Say sorry where you need to and then move on and let it go. Like if someone's even holding you to to like no, you need to I need something better than that like or I need a better Sorry or I'm not going to forgive you. That's their thing.

Oh, completely.

That's because they can't forgive themselves yet. So you just to move on and let it be okay. That they are super pissed at you.

Seriously. Don't punish yourself.

No, don't punish yourself because they don't. Can't get it right with whatever they're working with right now because that's just a lesson for them. They'll get it right later.

Maybe.

Hopefully. Pray for them. Yeah, yeah, literally. Pray for them. Send them love. That was one of the most freeing things with a quote unquote enemy that I had years ago that I was just like, how can people not see what a horrible human being this person is?

Yeah.

And it wasn't until like I literally did a cord cutting meditation from Gabby Bernstein where I. I saw the energetic cords I had on this person. So when you're thinking of someone, you attach a cord to them. Like, I always think of Go Go Gadget Arms. I'm like, like Inspector Gadget. I always think like, you want this person out of your life, except one of your Go Go Gadget arms is attached to their arm and you won't let it go.

I totally do that.

Oh, my God. So. So retract and be like, no.

Oh, I. I needed that.

Cut that cord.

Yeah, cut that cord. You don't need to have that cord.

Attached because you're the one holding onto it.

Exactly.

They don't even know you have. Don't even know. And you're like plugged into them every day. You're like, you know what? I'm just gonna hold on to you because you're like a rope to my misery. Yeah, yeah. Nope, cut it like, close your eyes and picture cutting it like later today and just watch it fall. And then from your heart, like, so I do, like, picture just like this white light coming down from heaven, viewing it as whatever your creators love, whatever through your heart and out to them. And be like, I'm seeing you as a child of God or as a child of the universe or as a child of energy, just like me. And I'm sending this to you and I'm letting you go.

And then you can fill that little hole with flowers.

Oh, my gosh. Any kind of flower you want.

It just be a beautiful love. More love in there.

Oh, I love that. Like, once you've retracted and once you like pull that cord from them, there's a little hole and you fill it up with whatever you want.

Yeah, yeah.

Dirt.

Just kidding.

You're like, but it's nutrient. It's fine, but it's still dirt. You grow your own flowers. I'm just gonna let you do you. I don't have to, I don't have to fix you with flowers.

You don't? No.

Just put some mineral dense soil in there. Okay, next question. I'm just wondering now who's walking around with soil in your head?

What? This is from Powerment with Elizabeth. I just had a relationship end due to communication issues. Any tips on being open even when bringing up topics you feel shame around? Oh, more shame. Shame.

That shame game.

Yeah.

Is strong.

Oh, it's hard to bring up topics when you feel shame around them. You gotta practice.

I don't think it's ever gonna be easy. Whenever I have a tough conversation, I'm just thinking about with. Most of my tough conversations are probably with just like my employees and things like that. And even sometimes family. I have to. Yeah, definitely family as well. I have to plan and make a time for it. So if I'm not like, okay, I have to get intentional. Number one, I have to think about when a really good time for this person will be that they're not gonna feel totally caught, off guard. And I also don't wanna send an email in the morning and be like, hey, we have to talk. Are you free later today? Like something that's a little scary like that. Like, maybe I do it at a time when I know they're about to be free. Or that evening be like, hey, you have just five minutes quick to jump on the phone, just want to chat about. You can just, just say, hey, is it a good time to chat? I just want to clear some things just so I, you know, I, I want to, I'm so committed to our relationship. I just want to make sure that we can clear some things when. What, whatever comes up.

Yes.

And hopefully they're like, yes, like, let's jump on the phone whenever. Coming up quickly. If they're not, just keep trying. Say it in the most loving way, though. And when you send it, don't put, put fear around it. Don't be like, oh my God, don't freak out. Just be like, yes, this is good. This is gonna clear things for me. Because the tough conversations are the most powerful way through, hands down, no matter what. So in that book, Radical Candor, go, Go watch. You know what? Go watch that TED Talk.

Yeah, I want to.

Yeah, so Elizabeth, go watch that TED Talk and know that if you want a clear life with clean energy and feeling good all day and not carrying 57 trunks around of like.

Yeah.

Of Lincoln Logs. Then you literally just need to clear it. Like, every time you have a conversation picture, dumping out the Lincoln log trunk.

Yeah, yeah, Get. Let it go.

Yeah, it's hard. Gotta elsa that.

You gotta Elsa it.

Yeah, that's hard.

Any tips on being open with communication? Sorry, I'm just rereading it.

Yeah, no, that's good, because sometimes I feel like I don't answer, but I.

Think you completely did. Yeah.

I can't really give you tips on being open because here's the deal. It doesn't come from a very natural place.

Yeah, it's hard.

If you were raised like most of us were raised, you were meant to, like, your attachment to being a nice person probably means now this is not everyone at all. Probably means no conflict. So I'm actually going to raise my child, my future child, wherever they are right now.

Yeah.

As like, I'm going. This is probably gonna seem so crazy to people, but maybe not at all. I'm going to teach them that conflict is a beautiful thing. And just. I'll just give the tools, like, hey, cool. So when there's fights at school or anything, I'll be like, cool. So let's talk about how we can, like, overcome that, because these things are not gonna not happen. Like, no. Wow. Okay. What's the opportunity within that? So I just think we have so much around the. Like, I think we've talked about this before. Like, even a rainy day, like, however you were raised and what you saw, it was like, oh, it's a rainy day. I get so depressed. Which, hey, that's. I can feel that way sometimes. I'm gonna, like, go out and just go be crazy and dance in the rain for real. Like, because you just have to force yourself to change the way you view it. And however your kids are raised or however you think is gonna be that way. But we have the option, as an adult to do that. Like, I'm starting to embrace when things happen. It doesn't mean I like them. Embracing does not mean that you don't feel sick to your stomach when it happens. It means you say, this is not a bad thing. This is just a feeling I don't love. But it is an opportunity.

Yes.

So.

And communication is kind of like. Especially with relationships, it's like going to the dentist. Like, you don't wait until you get a cavity to go. You got to do your check in.

Oh, my God. I just made. I have four doctor's appointments coming up. Because I've just been, like, historically not going.

But now you're going, and now I'm.

Going, and I am dreading it.

You are?

Oh, my God. I. I literally hate. Hate lady doctor appointments. I know, like, hate them, but I know it's gonna be just great.

It's gonna be just great.

Somehow I'm gonna relate something amazing to it. Maybe I'm gonna make a new best friend friend. You are like, hey, you just checked something out that's real personal. Maybe we should hang out after this. Seriously, I feel like I should buy you dinner.

And they see, like, a reverse date.

Do you think I should call and be like, hey, do you want to go to lunch before this so it doesn't feel so weird when we just go straight for third base?

Just all the way in there. But you're not alone.

Yeah, am I not? Because nobody talks about it.

Oh, are you kidding me? You should see, you know how they give you that teeny, tiny tissue to put over yourself? So they're like, here's a. No, here's a Kleenex to wear to cover yourself. Like, at my doctor, you're like.

You take your clothes off, right? They're.

You're. So your Dee Dee is out, Right? I'm just gonna call it a deity. And I will use that teeny, tiny Kleenex and somehow magically wrap my whole body in. Oh, my God.

That's amazing. I think I'll tear pieces on mine and put it all over my body and just be like, I'm in a full quilt right now.

Yeah.

Okay. You can't see the in between.

You gotta open up a little bit.

Yeah.

You're like, no, nope, staying right here.

Super good.

Right here.

You work out what you need to. You can use all of the jelly that you need. But I'm just. This is where it's at.

Keeping them closed.

Yeah. No, I heard a hilarious joke. I don't know if it's true or not, because it was, like, in the 90s, and I feel like maybe 90s jokes were. The Internet couldn't bust them out and be like, someone made that up. I might have even heard it in the 80s because I think I heard it from my mom. So this old woman lives with. It's a grandma who lives with her daughter, and they have a ton of kids in the house. And she's got a lady appointment, so she gets herself ready and puts her powder on or whatever has to happen down there before she goes to her doctor's appointment. And she gets there and gets undressed and all that stuff. And the doctor's doing the checkup. And the doctor just kind of looks at her and says, wow, you really, really. You, like, went all out for this. And so the grandma's just like, what is she talking about?

Yeah.

And she had. Instead of putting on her deodorant spray, she had taken the kids glitter spray and sprayed it all over that area.

And she had a glittery Dee Dee.

A glitter Dee Dee. And so can you even imagine if that was, like, true?

You know what? It should sparkle. It should.

So I think I'm just gonna, like, spray.

Yes.

Halloween time, I bet I could get some clearance cans of spray. And just like, I did this for you.

Yeah.

Because you know what? You have to look at a lot of just ho. Humdrum down there that I'm gonna add some sparkle to your day.

Well, you know what? We feel, for some reason, from the moment I came out of the womb, it's like, I have this shame around that.

Yeah.

Listen, you're born with it.

Yeah.

You're just going for your checkup. There's nothing wrong with getting checked. That's important.

Yeah. And they see it every day. It's probably like when people come and they're like, oh, I don't want you to see my numbers or my business. I'm like, I don't care. How do you solve anything if you don't see it? Right? So they must have that same perspective. Like, show me the Dee Dee. How are we gonna solve anything? They're like, get over yourself. It's not that special. Like, it's not.

It's not.

Everybody's got one. Everyone's got one.

They come in all different shapes and sizes.

Sure do.

It's okay.

Go get your choice. I think that's where the self consciousness is, though. You're just like, does everybody else have a shape and size?

Like, oh, yeah.

Or is this, like, when they look at it, they're, like, trying to hold back that this is really creepy.

Like, whoa, that's my first appointment. I was like, does mine look normal? And they're like, yes, relax. Good God.

Here's a. Here's a Playboy magazine. Relax. Yes. Actually, don't do that. It's like, fast track to Photoshop right there. Good Lord. All right.

Is this going to be an explicit show now?

I don't think so.

Okay. Not at all.

Not even close.

Will it get an E, Mark?

It's for Evans. We're not really saying anything. Maybe we get explicit for poop.

Yeah, that's possible.

I think we're good. I usually put explicits on all of my stuff, though, because if you swear at all, you put an E on it for the most part.

Part. Yeah, I did say shit earlier.

I did, too.

Sorry.

It's really how you get to the good stuff, though, you know? All right, you guys. So, Evans, what is the wise, wise feeling of the day?

I think it's to make your lady doctor appointment.

Oh, yeah, that's a really, really good one. It is. Like go and do that because I have put it off way too long. And here's to having some fun at the lady doctor.

Litter it up or maybe don't because it could cause an infection.

So yeah, double check on it.

That.

All right, everyone, until next time, earn your happy and make those appointments.

Yes.

Bye everyone. Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment. Tell us what you think, Tell us what you want to hear. More of it would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again, guys. Bye Bye Sa.