459: The most important thing you can do

Cannot live this life feeling suppressed. Cannot live this life feeling like you have to be somebody else around your family or your friends. You have to just decide to start being you. Certain people will fall away and some will come back and some won't. And you will get joined by an army of people who were meant to be with you in this lifetime.

Welcome to the earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest.

Or a thought that will help you.

Bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn, own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me?

Here we go. Welcome back to the earn your happy podcast and it's time for another quickie because there's always time to fit in inspiration. And I have to tell you that I am so excited to be in a room with you guys at event love in January. January 7th through the 11th today spots are running out. I would love to spend five days with all of you who know you are future leaders. You're leaders right now. Let's face it, it's in your heart. It's eating away at you. You know that you need to do it or it is going to eat you alive. This is almost the last call to go in this room for five days. I don't know if we will ever do this again. This might be a one time immersive boot camp certification program where you truly are going to get everything that you need in order to become that speaker, teacher, leader, facilit. This is gonna help you with more confidence in your public speaking podcast host, whatever that is. This is literally five days with me, Lindsay Schwartz, my team and amazing guest speakers who are going to be so hands on because this is going to be one of the most intimate experiences that you've ever had in your entire life in order to get everything that you need to become that teacher, that leader that you know you're supposed to be. So go to eventluv.com I'm telling you, this is an opportunity that only comes once in a lifetime. I wish this existed me in the beginning phases because I think I would have just catapulted into my career so much Faster. So you guys, if you're ready to get real, if you're ready to get raw, if you're ready to step in and actually do the do, that's what we're doing. You're going to be learning everything. Hands on, side by side of us in this room for five days, January 7th through the 11th. Get your butt there. Do what you need to do to get in that room. It's time. Don't let another year go by where your purpose is eating away at your soul. Okay, I think you get the point. So eventluv.com you guys, today is my birthday. Feel like I'm gonna sing a birthday song and this is gonna be a little late by the time you hear it. But I am super emotional this morning because I am in the deepest gratitude. I wanna tell you what the one thing that I have finally figured out in my 39 years. Today's my 39th birthday. I've got one more year in my 30s. Don't push it, all right? It's going to be the longest year ever. I want to tell you the one thing that I've figured out about life. Are you ready? You're on the edge of your seat. Oh. Oh, my God. The one thing that I figured out about life that is going to change your entire life. If you actually get it, if you actually understand this, and this is what I am unlayering, unboxing, trying to deeply understand every single day of my life, is what does it actually mean for me to stay in my joy. Just stay in the joy that is literally my only job and your only job. And some people are so far from it, and we don't even know sometimes what that would look like. So that's the first thing that you have to do, is write on a piece of paper. Go be alone for a while. And it's sometimes the hardest thing to do because you're like, I don't even know. That sounds horrible. I'd rather pull out my own teeth one by one. Yeah, I don't know. But you literally need to sit and start thinking about what would it look like if you were to just stay in the joy? And I don't mean short term joy, because you guys know that shopping online or going into stores or whatever that looks like, or numbing out, drinking your face off with your friends, that's fun, but not for long. Especially if you have not stepped into your purpose yet. In fact, that stuff can make you feel further and further away from your purpose if you are not yet moving forward. There's a time and a place for everything. It doesn't mean that if you are going for your goals and your dreams, that you're never gonna have fun again, that you're never gonna get to do those things that you love. But you might actually find that your version of joy completely changes when you really start understanding what joy for the long term means. Don't get me wrong, still love to have a good karaoke session, champagne, dance, do all of the mindless things, be an idiot. But I have found that my joys have completely shifted. I love long walks. I love good workouts. I love listening to podcasts. I love books. But too much of anything is too much of anything, right? So what you have to really focus on is what makes a fulfilling day for you. What makes a fulfilling day? Like, what lets your head hit the pillow at night and you'd be like, girl or guy, whatever. I am so proud of you today. You gave yourself grace on that thing that you normally beat yourself up about. You let yourself have a little of this and you stayed 80% healthy. You read for five minutes. You did a little mini meditation in the car while you were stuck in traffic. You forgave that person that normally you would hold a grudge on or you'd be thinking about and you'd have an imaginary voodoo doll in your mind poking needles into their eyeballs. You let that go. You put that voodoo doll down today. I'm so proud of you. Like, these are the conversations we need to start having. What makes you stay in the joy? For me, it's taking care of myself. It's like, oh, girl, I'm so proud of you. You had that lemon water in the morning. That was a good move. You had bottle of water during the day. Yes. Crushing it. You took your vitamins. You were extra nice to that person. You let go of that nasty email super fast and said, I completely am compassionate. Have compassion for that person, and that's okay. I'm going to focus on all the good that I can do today. I am going to stay in my joy. I'm going to understand that hard work is what makes me who I am and it makes me happy. I'm going to understand that sometimes putting things away when I am exhausted and tired and I'm just no good anymore. Sometimes stepping away is better than going back and grinding even harder. I am going to understand that it's so important for me to make new big, scary relationships and to push myself outside of my comfort zone, but it's equally as important for me to go and make sure that I have that sanctuary and that place where I can just go and be with friends who fill my soul and I can be goofy and moronic and all of the things and I know that I will still be loved no matter what. I am going to make sure that I am fully expressing myself and not caring if people don't like it. I'm going to make sure that my value is in things that really long term make me feel good and giving back to people and adding value to people's lives instead of my body or how I look or whatever that is. But I am equally going to hold a version of myself in my mind that I will strive for and continue to set goals and reach. There are many things that are just a balance and you have to set these bars. But understand that grace is going to be the way that you're either going to get there or enjoy your life. Because there's many goals that I don't reach. But if I did not have super high goals, I would not be fulfilled or reach even half the things that I get to that I want in my life. But what I do is if I don't reach them, I give myself grace around it. Hey, that's okay. You did your best. You're gonna try again. I'm so proud of you for what you did. These are constant conversations I have in my mind. And the main thing that I'm saying every day is just stay in the joy. And when I feel myself start getting frustrated, when I feel myself making a situation hard, I say, how could this be lighter? How could this be more fun? How could I move through this with less emotion? So that's all we're doing. I'm pulling away the emotion out of it. I'm pulling away the frustration and just saying, if this is here and this is my job right now, then this is what I'm doing and I'm going to do it in a way that has more ease. How can I do this with more ease? And that's all I want for you guys is more ease, more light, more flow, more fun. I am a Sagittarius through and through, which means fun is pretty much my North Star fun and adventure. Which is so weird because I'm also just a complete ritualistic homebody. So balancing those two things is quite interesting, let me tell you. But in every situation, how could you bring more fun for real? So, guys, I'm not going to talk long today because I'm about to go on a beautiful walk by myself with a ton of music that I've been obsessed with my whole life. So maybe I'll play a little Lauryn Hill. Maybe I'll play a little Erykah Badu. Oh, yeah, we're definitely going to do that. We're going to sing out loud. We're going to go on the beach. I'm talking as if I have multiple personalities. If you're a Sagittarius, you know you do. And I am going to just reflect and I'm going to go enjoy myself. Like, enjoy the blessing of this life and being alive. And really, what does that mean to me? To feel the wind on my skin. To be grateful for all of the incredible people in my life. To be so grateful for every single moment. To be grateful for this podcast. To be grateful that people even listen to this podcast. Oh, my God, what a gift. What a blessing to be grateful for all of you who let me step into my dream and my gift, and for the first few people who showed up for me when I started posting on Facebook or going on lives in my bathrobe with no makeup on and chiming in and tuning in and connecting and just accepting me for my authentic self. And the more that you guys do that, the more you will find your other weirdo tribe. Like, just be you. So proud of you guys. I'm watching more and more of you show up, and I'm seeing more and more of you, meaning more and more of you are coming out just of your shells and sharing experiences with me around how you are just stepping in and letting it be okay to be your authentic self. And you're finding people and you're feeling free. Cannot live this life feeling suppressed. Cannot live this life feeling like you have to be somebody else around your family or your friends. You have to just decide to start being certain. People will fall away, and some will come back and some won't. And you will get joined by an army of people who were meant to be with you in this lifetime. Soul family. Soul family, guys. And you will change the lineage of your family. It is your job that's not going to be easy. That is a challenging job. And that's what many of you who listen to this podcast. In fact, I'd say 99.9% of you were sent to do. And that's why it feels so hard. You are breaking a chain. You're breaking a cycle. And it's not an easy task, but it is your task, and it's a beautiful task. And everyone moving forward for the rest of their lives will thank you for it, for stopping the cycle of what you should do and starting a cycle of what you get to do, what you can do, what God sent you here to do, your creator, whatever you believe. And honestly, the biggest gift for me this year is just the incredible people in my life. This beautiful tribe of podcast listeners, of people who show up at my events, of people who show up for me, of people I get to teach, of people I get to connect with. It is just now. Literally now is all that we have. That's it. This is it guys. This is the peak. Today is your peak. Make it good. Because every day is the peak. It might just be. It might be the top of the mountain. If you can't appreciate this top, then you don't get through to appreciate another top.

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Make this the top today. Make this the top because you're alive. Make this the top because you have friends. Make this the top because you can move around. Make this the top because you get to help people. Make this the top because you're already in your purpose. If you get to brighten someone's day, you don't need a title. You don't need anything to go and help other people. I am so grateful for you and when you get this, your life will change. My prayer for you is that this seeps into your soul today. This seeps into your heart, this seeps into your brain. That you just make someone else's day and that you just love you and you get deeply grateful for your body, for your life, for the people in your life, for the fact that you get to turn around and realize that your creator that that energy has been there all along. You just need to tune into it. You are made of something so magical today. I love you guys so much. Thank you for listening. Until next time, earn your happy. Bye everyone.

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