467: Questionably Awesome - Your burning questions about GOALS answered

It's actually a favor or it's actually a good thing for you to move forward with a really loving, honest conversation. Welcome to the Earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week, I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul, and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business, and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves, get ready to earn, own, and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Happy New Year, Evans.

Happy New Year, Lori.

How long have we been doing this show for?

Three years.

Wow, that has flown.

Just kidding. I just made that up. I have no idea.

People are like, wait, where's the last three years? I must listen. Nobody said that.

Not one person.

They're like, oh, one person. They're like, good God. How did that last? Just kidding. So, happy new year. It's 2020. We are in flying cars. I've officially met George Jetson.

I teleported here.

I start my car with banana peels.

It's cool. You guys are gonna love it.

It is.

You're gonna love it here. If you haven't arrived yet. Welcome.

Everyone's really nice and supportive.

We wear moon boots and only shiny silver clothing.

Yeah, that's. Why do we associate the future with shiny silver?

That's really funny. Every movie is like, all shiny silver. Like, welcome to my shiny silver home. Have you seen my shiny silver car? And my robot brings me stuff.

Anyway, so 2020.

You know what, though?

There's already robots. Oh, by the way, welcome to. Let me. Let me go back to that. It's going to be intelligent. Welcome to another episode of questionably awesome where Evans and I answer questions and it's. It's usually always awesome.

It's always awesome. But it's different than your other podcasts.

If you don't like to laugh at people or our humor. We don't laugh at people. They will laugh at us. Yeah, yeah. My humor is not really one to make fun of people. I make fun of fake people.

No. Do you know, actually, I had this thought this morning about you, and I think the world needs to know it.

Oh.

You do not participate in gossip.

Oh, that is awesome.

You really don't.

Thank you for that.

I I know you write about it and people are like, oh, sure. No, it's true. Wow. Do not participate in it. And I think that's huge.

Thank you so much for that.

You're welcome.

I'm trying to think when I. I do have moments where I have to talk about something that has happened, but.

Not in a malicious way.

No, in, like, I'm gonna lose my. If I don't talk about it and let it out and heal myself.

Yes.

But thank you for that.

You're welcome.

I have worked on that. Because in the past. I definitely have, and it's been so. I think once you've been, you know, burned enough by it, you're, like, not serving me anymore. This is not going to work. You know what else? This isn't a show about gossip, but it can be. But, like, I think when you realize that, I mean, gossiping only, it really gets you into hot water. No matter what. If you're doing it, you're going to have a moment where you are real embarrassed and you feel really bad, and you can keep that away. If you don't, you don't participate in it. You don't do it.

So it's that easy.

Yeah. I've had those moments where I'm like, yeah, I did say that about you. I didn't mean it, though. I was being a real bee that day.

Yep. I've had that, too.

It's awful.

It is sinking feeling in your belly.

Oh, you are the Titanic. And you are.

You're done.

You're done.

So. Yeah.

So don't do that in 2020.

Don't do that. Let's go back to robots.

Okay.

I. There is a building here in Los Angeles that is a new, like, amazing condo building.

Yeah.

And we have some friends who live in it, and I got to go visit it, and they have a robot at the front desk that you literally. It can. The whole building is controlled by an app on. App on your phone. Obviously, you don't have access to, like, the boiler room. Yeah, but the boiler. But I just picture, like, oh, I have control over the building. Like some enemy. Yeah. I'm turning the heat up to 72, whether you like it. Did you have a heat fight in your family growing up?

Oh, God.

I'm from the cold, though. So it was always like. My dad was like, we can't turn it above 68. It's too expensive. And my mom was like, while your dad's gone, we're at 72, Adam and.

I. I like it to be nice and toasty he likes to be ice cold. Arctic.

Exactly. The Midwest is a huge battle between temperature of. Saving money, though.

Yeah, that's important.

I was like, does four degrees really matter? Apparently it does.

It just makes your power bill sky.

A month or something.

Oh, yeah.

Come on. Can we?

Please?

Why?

And if you don't have good insulation, you can.

Why can't we be warm?

Please, Mommy.

So real thing, that's the App Store. So the app controls this robot, and you literally can order, like, snacks or whatever you want from this bit. Like, I could. So I could be up in my condo and be like, you know what? I want Twizzlers. And I would go to the app, I would ask for Twizzlers, and this robot rolls down the hallway, goes on the elevator by itself. I'm not shitting you. What goes in the elevator by itself gets. Goes and gets. Twizzlers. Goes up the elevator, goes to your door, rings the doorbell, and you open it up, and there's freaking Twizzlers in the robot.

What does it look like?

It looks like a little R2D2, but way more chic. Sleek.

What? I don't think I'm ready for this.

And it opens its mouth like.

No, it does not.

It does.

Does it have a face?

No, it's like a little R2D2. Very sleek. It's very sleek because this building is very sleek. Wow. Yeah.

That must be a pretty penny.

I would think so. You know what?

That's my goal. Have a little robot delivery.

Yeah. Well, you know what? That goal is possible. It is with this podcast.

You can do it.

You can achieve it, Actually, you never know. I really just think we're gonna be the next Hoda and Kathy Lee. Although I don't think they exist anymore. I mean, they're here on the planet, and they're alive and they're thriving.

Right.

But I don't think she did retire.

Didn't she retire?

I think she did. I think.

Good for Kathy Lee.

Never thought I'd see that day. It's like when Regis left, I was like, wait, does the world still go on? Yeah, it's. It's weird. Really bizarre when you are starting to get older and you watch things come and go, and you're like, I know it's not my parents talked about. And then I turn a blind eye and pretend it's not happening.

Also, what parents?

When people cope with things, when they're like, how do I cope with this? I'm like, turn a blind eye?

Yeah, just pretend it's not happening.

Sweep it under the rug. Drink more bitchy.

Go out.

Hey.

Hey.

Do you have a quote?

Oh, yeah, actually, I do. And it is about gossip, I think. Oh, do I have it? Oh, yes. Before you speak, let your words pass through three gates. Is it true? Is it necessary? Is it kind? I have no idea who said that. It was on someone's Instagram.

I've heard that before, and I love it.

I do, too.

Is it true? Is it necessary? Is it kind? I feel like those gates get a little looser once you've had wine. You. They open right up. There are no gates with wine. Is it true? Is it necessary? Is it kind? Yes, yes.

Yes.

Listen.

So true.

I really love that.

Me too.

It is something that's a practice. It's not like you're gonna just go and be. Not. Gossiping can take years sometimes. It's like, truly. Because we're wired to think. Unfortunately, as human beings, and especially as females, I feel like we have bonded or seen our mother's bond or other women bond at work or whatever that looks like through gossip. And it can feel really, really, really juicy to be able to have news of some sort. Like, I'm gonna be the most interesting person at lunch today if I share this, and people are gonna want to know, and I'm gonna be on the inside. It's actually not the case at all.

No, it's not good to do that.

Like, go and work on finding something that is interesting, intelligent, and lasting. Because gossip doesn't last. Like, find a great cat video, just like you said.

Yep. Yeah, that's much better than gossiping. It is.

And you know what? They're like, God, that Evans always has the best cat videos. Is she coming over again? God, I can't wait to see a cat video with cat videos. I just heard that cat owners are indentured servants. Like, I just read that they were, like, dog owners. They're always excited. Cat owners. Yeah.

That's so true.

Oh, yeah. Good. Fetch me my catnip. Meow.

Wait.

That was terrible. I don't do a very good cat impression. Would you like a quote? Sure I would. I already read that one. Pablo Picasso says, our goals can only be reached through a vehicle of a plan in which we must fervently believe and upon which we must vigorously act. There is no other route to success. And the only reason that I chose this was because I screenshotted the one above it.

You did?

That was the Michelle Obama quote, the one above that I used previously. But I'm going To give a little wisdom on the fly. Yeah, Wisdom on the fly is that if you have a goal and you're not actually making the plan and setting the plan. Because I do think people make plans all day long. Do you know those people? And I'm one of them. Raising both hands over here. Yes, you're one of them too.

Oh, yeah.

Who? Like, we have all the best ideas about plans. Like, I think I even did one downstairs. Oh, Adam skis. And so would you. Oh, we should do that. Great. Not happening. Because we're not planning it. So that's not a real plan. Great. Those are nice words that we're using to just be like nice people in the moment. How did that fluff feel?

It didn't feel good. We could make it real life.

Yeah, we could make it real life. Seems a little scary sometimes because I'm like, I don't know when that's gonna happen. Yeah. But stop using the fluff. Find a cat video. You know, Just make it happen. God.

Do you want a question?

You know what? I think we need a review.

Oh, yeah. We need a review first.

Yeah. Otherwise I'm gonna forget.

This is so nice. This is from Ms. Lids.

Ms. Lids.

Ms. Lids.

I like it.

Another aha moment. Thanks to Lori and Evans. Wow, that's nice.

You know, she's being kind right now.

Bless you. I need some. Whenever I need some inspiration, laughter, or an aha moment, I tune in to earn your happy. And usually there is always something in an episode that is exactly what I need to hear. I was listening to Evans and Lori talk about pivots and Lori was sharing the story about baby sea turtles. And I was like. And it was the aha. Calming advice I needed. You see, I'm a mom to a 14 year old middle schooler who has struggled this year and my mama bear has wanted to come in and fix it. Hearing that the turtles need to struggle on land so they can survive in the sea was a great analogy for parenting middle school girls. This struggle is part of her learning and how to figure out things. And my job is to provide her with the tools to help, but not do it for her.

Whoa.

Thanks, as always, for the motivation. Wow. You're a parent.

That is amazing. And I know that I. I can't even imagine how hard that is. The only thing I can equate it to is when a friend struggles or when your spouse struggles and you just have to let them be depressed or anxious. You can be there for them, but you cannot, you can't fix it. Yeah, totally. Wow. That's a beautiful review.

Seriously, in middle school is the worst that.

It was the worst for me.

I hated middle school.

Yeah. I was homeschooled through high school after that trauma.

Damn middle school girls. Hang in there.

Yeah. I feel for you.

All right.

Maybe wear some shiny silver. Yeah. I don't know. Be from the future. That can help your teenager. It can't. Please don't do that. All right.

You want a question?

Yeah.

Okay. This comes from Morgan. Who?

Morgan Freeman.

I love Morgan writes and wrote me.

I love that he listens.

This is great. Morgan asks. Morgan says, I'm no people pleaser, but I always want to be fair and do the right thing. I took a job recently that feels like the right thing right now, but as soon as a better opportunity comes up, I want to take it. How do I do that without feeling guilty about leaving my current job? What can I say to my boss that comes across as respectful and grateful when I decide to move on?

I think when you're okay, number one, if it really is a great opportunity, then the. The swiftness in which you are willing to move on is fantastic. Like, that's amazing. Most people don't even have that wherewithal to say, hey, I have another great opportunity, and I'm gonna take it.

Yeah.

And to be honest with you, your boss will appreciate if you have a great opportunity and you actually move on to it. Because what happens if, you know, there's a great opportunity for you and you are not leaving and you start resent. It's when you start resenting the current position that, believe me, your boss, the employees there, the. That you work with, everybody feels that. So it's actually a favor or it's actually a good thing for you to move forward with a really loving, honest conversation. Yes. Like, I don't want to keep anyone in prison if they don't want to be there.

Right.

So I think as a boss, you know, that people will be moving on. It's never fun, especially if it's really, really quick or maybe you spent a lot of money to get that person trained in or whatever that looks like and having to find another person. But this is to be as a boss, and I think that an honest conversation and just saying, I am so grateful for my time here, and maybe saying how much value it's added to your life, what you loved about it, how appreciative you are, and what you're bringing from that particular job or their wisdom into the next job. That's a beautiful conversation to Have. It's never fun, but the faster that you can do it, I think the better it is.

Completely agree. And I mean, that's kind of the nature of. It's funny how the workforce is the workforce. What am I, 85?

Hey, I like it.

The workforce has changed, though. I mean, people move a lot more than they used to.

Oh, my God, yes.

So much more. And you can't feel guilty around that. I mean, I think it comes to a point where you should always make sure you're not just jumping from thing.

To thing for sure. Just because I think that can happen a lot. Especially, you know, I have no idea the history of this person or how old they are, if they've had a lot of, you know, experience with different jobs. But yeah, I think what can happen so often this happened to me when I was younger is just you always think there's something better out there when sometimes, like staying. Yeah. You could create a new position for yourself that in which you actually want to go in. And you could start making suggestions of a new position and saying, hey, you know, having. Having that. Having a conversation with your boss or whoever that would be and saying, here's where my skill set, here's where my skill lies, and here is where I really thrive. And here's where I see I could add even more value than where I'm currently at to this company. Are we able to do like a 90 day test run of this while still potentially me doing my other job, like taking on an extra workload in order to create a future for yourself? That could be freaking amazing at a company.

That's awesome.

Yeah. I know lots of people who have done that.

Yeah. Just empower yourself to do that.

We have someone in our position who did that. Essentially.

Boom.

Or at our company.

Yeah, it's super great. Yeah. And wait, I had something to say, but then it just literally.

Damn it. It was going to be so smart.

Going to be so smart.

But we'll find it. It'll come back. Yeah, it's going to land. You want another one? I sure do.

Okay. This is about goals at Aspen Guinier.

Set their real name again. Again. Cynthia, please talk to these people's parents.

Ask me.

I want to be called a mountain. Me too. Nope, says Lori. That's a truck in France.

A really nice truck.

A juggernaut.

A juggernaut. Yeah. This person said, how do you have time for reading? Reading more is a big goal. I like this question. Because everyone wants to read more in.

The new year, I say start with just more. Street signs. Like, just start reading exits.

A lot of pamphlets.

Yep. Oh, pamphlets are great. Like, wherever you're at, be like, I'm at the doctor's office. Read all the pamphlets.

All the pamphlets.

You would learn. Hey, that's actually. You would learn a shit ton of things.

How do you read so much, though? You're a good reader.

God, I feel like I haven't been, but I am consistent in the mornings. So I will read for five to 10 minutes every single morning. And actually, believe it or not, if you are reading just five to 10 minutes, you'll finish a book in a month or two. So, like, pockets of my. Like, right now, I'm reading, like, three different books, so that's about five to 10 minutes for each of those three books. And it's funny because all of a sudden, I will finish three books in, like, a month and a half, and I'll be like, whoa, yeah, that's a lot. That was awesome. But pockets of your day. I totally recommend just five minutes in the morning. And here is a great tip for people who want to start reading. Go find a book that has stories or has. You know, it's the type of book where it's a chapter every two pages or story. Like, one story a page, or advice on every page that. What am I trying to say? Broken up. Yes. Something like, what. What are Oprah's books? Any of Oprah's books are some of the best places to start, because they are. I don't know anyone who doesn't feel like that is true soul food. Like, it is just. It's so, like, a delicious read. That's how it feels, doesn't it?

I love. Oh, the path made clear. Is that her path made clear.

Oh, what I know for sure is probably one of my favorite books.

Ooh, I need to read that.

And it's like a page of reading where you get the whole story on one page. Yeah. And it is so beautiful. And you feel. You feel like you've completed something in the morning in five minutes or less. So go and grab one of those books. Anything like that. There's a lot of them out there. And start reading five minutes a day. Yeah.

Start there.

Yeah. And then what will happen is you'll. You might move into, like, you might move into just those books, and you're reading. Bam. Goal completed.

Done. And there's also audible. I still consider that that is reading. It is reading.

How is that not reading?

You're still listening. I know it's listening, but it's. You still get a lot out of it and maybe you're a better listener.

Not reading though. Like I'll go on runs and I'll listen to books and I still. Yeah. Heard the book.

Right? You still read the book.

Totally.

So I don't know, maybe you need an audible membership.

Yeah. Listen to a voice.

Yeah, Listen to a voice. That's helpful.

Listen to my book plug.

Boom. Oh yeah. A Tribe Called Bliss read by you, which is really nice because you do have a lovely voice to listen to.

And I use my book voice. Sounds amazing.

It is very relaxing.

Yeah. You got a question?

Yeah. Do you want a question about joy?

Oh, sure. Let's talk about joy.

This is from. This is a sweet question from like.

Sweet or like tasty?

It's very tasty. At Kaylin Prins asks, what are the little things you do every day to bring yourself joy?

Hmm.

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You know, there's so many little things that I do. Like, honestly, I just thought about like, you know, every two weeks I go get a pedicure and manicure, which I never used to do. I used to be like, this is unnecessary. I can paint my own nails. That was me when it was like very. I get a blue ribbon for everything I do. I leave the vacuum lines in the living room. Don't step on them. This is a true story.

Really?

You used to be obsessed with the vacuum lines.

Oh, it was so bad. I was like a clean freak. And I wouldn't let. I'd be like, chris, please don't step in the living room. Or if you do, like, try to take big steps. Cause I love the vacuum lines.

Are you serious?

Oh, I had nothing else to worry about.

That brought you joy.

Yeah, in a very anxious, horrible type of way. Yeah. And then Chris was like, we should hire a cleaning crew so that we can get a day of our life back. Cause I would clean all the time. And I was like, no, I do it myself. Like, I really liked being able to say I did all of those things myself while equally when I started a business, I was so Stressed out all the time because keeping up vacuum lines and running a business, they don't go hand in hand.

No, you cannot keep up vacuum lines.

What was the question?

What are some little things that bring you joy? Oh, every day?

Yeah.

Like, going and getting pampered or nurtured is something that I try to work in every couple weeks.

Yep.

Going on a walk, but being present on my walk, like, doing a gratitude walk, and you don't believe me. It's not like, oh, I go on this amazing gratitude walk. I'm like, lori, get present before you go bananas. Like, okay, what are you grateful for? And I really look around, and I get grateful for what's around me and my surroundings. And maybe it's something in your house, or maybe it's someone in your life, or maybe it's this podcast. Anything like that. But really, podcasting, listening to podcasts, reading books. I try to do a lot of little things that bring me joy. But here's the deal. Nothing's gonna bring you joy until you intentionally allow yourself to be grateful for what it is.

Yes.

Otherwise, even the joyful things you can be, you can totally take for granted.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

One of my favorite things is coffee in the morning.

Oh, hells yes.

That is like, when you're the only one up in your house and you get the coffee first, even if it comes from your little keurig. Is there anything better than being like, I have this moment to myself.

There's not a lot better. I love it at night. Chris goes, I can't wait for our coffee in the morning. I'm like, that is so cute.

I love that.

Because I love that too. Like, I love that time where we're like, Waffles goes outside, and she comes back in and asks for a treat, and then we're drinking our coffee and we read our books, and, yeah.

That's magic.

It is pure magic. And it's just like those moments that you. And here's the deal. In the past, I didn't enjoy those moments. We did the same thing, but I was living in the future the whole time, so I couldn't even enjoy the fact that I got to do these things.

Things.

So I did that with Christmas shopping. I was like, oh, am I gonna get all this done? This is too much. And I have to do this.

Yeah. Whoa.

You're Christmas shopping.

Yeah.

So you need to check yourself.

Yeah.

That's ridiculous.

I don't think Santa is gonna come your way if you're like, no.

If you're.

You know what? About shopping. I just snorted trying to breathe in. That was really weird. Hopefully that becomes something as I get older. Yeah, I would just love to be the lady who. The lady who snorts when she breathes.

The lady who Snorts. A Memoir by Lynn Carter.

A Memoir. All right, guys. Well, Evans Weekly Wisdom, it's okay if you snort when you breathe, saying it's okay to be imperfect and it might just be the thing that people love about you.

That's the truth. Thanks for supporting that.

It is. All right, guys, until next time, what do you think?

Be questionably awesome.

Yeah, I like that one. It's a good sign off. Bye everyone.

Bye.

Happy New Year. Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment, tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear. More of it would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again guys. Bye.

Bye.