472: Unleash your sexy + recover your confidence with Tara Romano
13 Jan 2020 · 76 min
Podcast episode (472) hosted by Lori Harder featuring Tara Romano. Lori opens with a promo for her Become Aligned course, includes sponsor reads, and then interviews Tara about her Tone & Tease program—a chair-based dance/movement experience designed to shift state, recover confidence, and 'unleash and let go.' Tara shares her background (Jersey upbringing, bartending, fitness instructing, network marketing, personal-development influences like Marianne Williamson), how Tone & Tease began, transformational attendee stories, tools for managing triggers (state change, coaching, meditation, boundaries), and practical rules (the 33% rule). Episode includes logistics: Tara's websites (tararomano.com, toneandtease.com) and an event 'Your Life Unleashed — mindset and movement' scheduled March 2–4 (tickets forthcoming). Recorded Jan 13, 2020.
Questions this episode answers
January 13, 2020.
tararomano.com and toneandtease.com.
March 2–4 (tickets go on sale the week after the interview).
Chapters
Hi, everyone. I'm so happy you've tuned into the show. Whether you have listened before or you're brand new, I'm so grateful for you. You have no idea. And this episode is brought to you by my Become Aligned course. And podcasts are amazing. And I know that you know that because you guys all listen to them, and I do, too. And sometimes they are not necessarily enough because while we're listening, sometimes we're passively listening and we're not actively listening. So the reason that Chris and I. Chris is my husband. The reason we've created this course is because we get asked so many questions outside of the podcast on how we started living the life that we live now. A life of happiness, of abundance, of really understanding that life is always full of problems every single day, but there's always a solution. And how do we shift back into a mindset that's going to keep us happy, keep us together, keep us successful, and keep us in thriving relationships? And that is what our, our Become Aligned course is about. You guys, we cover everything from mindset to the rituals that we do every single day. We talk about different energy sources that's really gonna provide you with lasting energy. We talk about your purpose and what that actually means, what it is and how it's ever changing. We're gonna tap into your beliefs, we're gonna show you how to build a tribe to support where you're going. And we're definitely going to talk about wealth, abundance, money, all of the good things, and how to sustain all of this. Because while, like I said, POD are absolutely awesome, you don't necessarily sit down and actually write out a plan for yourself. Because as much as I can sit here and tell you on the podcast, what we do and how much, how many different people that I can interview, it's important that you actually learn how to apply these things in your own life. So if you've been listening for a while and you are ready to go deeper and you really want to get some direct training and be able to dive into your life and yourself and your mindset, this is the course for you. I don't know about you, but I absolutely have points in my life where I don't know where I'm going. I don't know what I'm doing. Sometimes I hit walls where I don't necessarily feel happy anymore, and I haven't sat with myself long enough. I haven't really let myself think. I haven't written out how I actually feel. And so many people who took this course said that it was completely life changing and they revealed a lot of things about themselves, about them, about their. About their relationships that they weren't really looking at or they were avoiding. And it's about having those tough conversations, not only with other people, but really with yourself and knowing that you have the tools and the access to the tools. And we're going to teach you all of the tools that you need not only to move through things, but to actually thrive on the other side. So, you guys, I would love for you to join the aligned community. It's such a special group of human beings and you get lifetime time access. This is nine different modules where you're going to be working through each area of your life at your own pace. So you might need something on abundance, you might need more on, you know, money, you might need more on your purpose on your tribe. This is where you can really go deep on exactly what you need and make sure that you're not missing any of your blind spots. If you are feeling stuck or if you are wondering how everyone is doing it and how they're managing it all. This is a truly honest course about how to have a thriving life and manage and deal with all of the different problems that do come up in your life and understand that not everyone is going to support you and not everyone is for you and you are not for everyone. And that's okay. It's finding your people, it's forgiving yourself. It's creating a life of abundance and choosing your own purpose and your happiness. So, you guys, you can go to becomealigned.com that's becomealigned.com and you guys know that because you're listeners, I'm gonna give you an awesome deal and an awesome discount and I cannot wait to see you in that community. And also let me know if you join because it is such an awesome, awesome community. And also I'm really proud of this course. Chris and I poured our heart and our soul into this. Everything that we've done, everything that we've learned, we've invested so much into ourself that this is everything that we have applied in our lives. And if you want to know how we've done it, we put it all on the table. We've put it all in this course. So if you want to know, go check it out@becealigned.com so let's get into the show.
I know for me in sharing all of this, I've connected with so many people who I would never think that feel the same way as I have, and it's just so refreshing to hear that they do.
Welcome to the earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each week I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves, get ready to earn, own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Welcome back to the show. This is a super special podcast for me because this is a woman who every single year at my Bliss Project event brings such a magical piece to this amazing three day weekend. She literally blows everyone's mind, rocks everybody's world, makes them feel a hundred times sexier. If you haven't figured it out yet, if you haven't been to the Bliss Project, it is Tara Romano. She is a serial entrepreneur, performer, teacher, personal development junkie. An unshakable optimist dedicated to helping you unleash and let go so that you can become the best version of you. She has an insatiable curiosity. Curiosity about what it means to live life to the fullest. Whether it's hosting tone and T's masterclass around the world, speaking at conferences, or confessing the struggles of her love for Carbo. Loaded temptations. She wants you to know being perfectly imperfect is something to celebrate, you guys, truly. She is so much fun. Her heart is so beautiful and she is that person who you just feel so invited to be your biggest, best self in front of. I don't know how she makes teaching dancing and making you do crazy dance moves feel comfortable, but I'm telling you, I've never seen anything like it. She's hilarious, she is fun, she is talented. And so many of the women who have come to my annual event tell me that this is one of the biggest breakthroughs for them every single year is Tara Romano's piece. So let's get into just her mindset and where this comes from and how you can unleash yourself in your daily life so that you can show up as that wild, big, bold, sexy version that you are while being completely unapologetic and really stepping in to your power. Let's get started. Tara, I'm so excited to have you on the Show.
Super excited to finally be chatting with you on your show.
So you guys, if you. If you follow me at all or have been in the Bliss Project, you know that Tara plays one of the most important roles at my event and every single year. This is so funny. Funny because I'm, like, obsessed with what you do, which I'm gonna have you go into full detail on what you do and how you got there and all of these great things. But you are so freaking near and dear to my heart because I.
You.
I feel like you've been with me on a huge, like these huge pivotal moments of my life that I don't even think you even realize how big they are. Like, to have you there and to have you be stepping into your, like, kind of probably freaky moments as well and really pushing your edges as well. So I think when find those women who are like, in the arena with you, like Brene Brown says, I. I, like, don't even get to see you all the time, but I have a crazy closeness to you because we're doing it together. So you have been a part of Bliss Project since almost the beginning, which is crazy.
I know. I remember you doing a podcast recently, talking about how many years you've had it, and I believe I came in the second year, so. Which is so crazy to me because I remember being there and thinking that you've been doing this forever.
I was probably shitting my pants while, like, you're like, I'm nervous. I'm like, don't even talk to me. Oh, God. So let's talk about. First of all, let's say what you do there at the Bliss Project, and then we'll go into how you got into starting your business.
With the holidays and the new year coming, you probably are looking around your house thinking that you would love to upgrade and freshen up your environment. And there is no easier way to do that than with your window treatments. Nobody covers windows better than Blinds.com. blinds.com brings your space to life in your way. They have free design help. Other retailers may claim to have experts, but blinds.com has spent nearly 30 years building an award winning team of over 100 design consultants that are ready to help you create your dream space. Always convenient, always tailored to you. Three ways to shop. 1. Perfect fit. Whether you want a DIY, have it all done for you or you're somewhere in between, choose what works for you and rest easy knowing the fit is guaranteed. So the holidays come fast, you guys, and you can freshen up your window treatments. Fast as well. And unlike some competitors, the price you see is the price you pay. No hidden fees, and there's zero pressure. From blackout in motorized options to classic shutters, blinds.com has window treatments for every room, style and budget, even shades for your outdoor space. The Black Friday deals@blinds.com are going strong all month long, so don't miss your chance to save big. And as always, our listeners still get $50 off when you spend $500 or more. Just use code earn at checkout limited time offer rules and restrictions apply. See blinds.com for details. 2026 is the year that you launch your business. It's the year that you've become the boss. You've become the leader. That idea that has been eating at you forever that just will not leave you alone is going to come to life. Maybe it's something that someone tells you you should always sell or a store you've already designed in your head. And with Shopify, 2026 is when you finally make it happen. Shopify gives you everything you need to sell online and in person. Millions of entrepreneurs have already made this leap from household name to first time business owners. Just getting started you guys. I use Shopify for glossy and I remember when they sent me my little shopping bag celebrating my 10,000 sales and I literally cried because I was so.
Scared to take the leap.
And I'm so glad that I did and that I use Shopify. It gives you all the tools to easily build your dream store. You can choose from hundreds of beautiful templates that you can customize to match your brand setup is fast with Shopify's built in AI tools that write product descriptions and headlines and help you edit photos. So marketing is built into you can create email and social campaigns that reach customers wherever they scroll. So as you grow, Shopify grows with you. You can handle more orders, expand to new markets and do it all from the Same dashboard in 2026. Stop waiting and start selling with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com happy go to shopify.com happy that's shopify.com happy hear your first Cha Ching this new year with Shopify by your side.
So what I do is I take women through this experience using their body and I change their state. I assist them in changing their state first and I do this by acknowledging their alter ego. So when I do this class, it's not something yes, it's a sexy dance fitness class, but I don't just turn on the music and we go. I think it's really important to set the space for these women because I come up there in these, like, thigh high boots, shiny pants, like, you know, extensions, lipstick. And I don't expect people to just trust me right away because as women, we all have so many insecurities, myself included. And I think a lot of this work is something that I needed. So I take them through their alter ego, we give it a name, and I walk them through movements. And in that, the tagline of tone and peace is called unleash and let go. And I feel like with that tagline, it can mean so many things for so many people. Like letting go of the judgment, of the worry, of the comparison, of whatever it is that we need in that moment. Because we know life, it comes in waves. And even myself entering the Bliss project, I've been in so many different places in my life, so releasing that through the movement, essentially.
I, like, sometimes I can't be in the room because I'm getting ready for something next. And it is like, get me in that room. Because it is. It is one of the coolest, most transformational experiences, not only to see, but I literally try to, like, do a part of it every single year whenever I can, because it's so magical. Like, it really is dropping from your head into your heart and into your body. It's crazy what can happen. And I know every single year I have people say that that's the most transform because they just have, you know, they've disowned their body. Like they've. But they feel like their bodies either betrayed them or they look at it as a certain, you know, that it's. That it's something that isn't trying to work with them or in their favor. Like they're upset with their bodies or they're upset with just things that they've suppressed. And I think that you really unlock so much of that. And I can't imagine what you've seen. Like, what are some of the transformations that you've heard and seen?
Oh, my gosh. So I remember my very first Bliss project, and I wanted to backtrack a little and let people know kind of the space that I was in. Going back almost seven years ago, I think six or seven years ago, you called me when I was at a place, I was actually in my hotel room and I was just binging on food. Whatever was going on in my life at that point, food was my go to. And I kind of backtracked in that moment. And I remember sitting or kneeling on the side of my bedroom, hotel, or the bed in my hotel, just like praying to God to take this thing that was following me my whole life, you know, this obsession with food. And just the thing that I went through, the addiction and just kind of released it from me. And you had you literally, I look up at my phone and you texted me, right? And you asked me to come to the Bliss Project with tone and tease. And I share that because I think sometimes we can see people, quote, unquote, winning or really pursuing their passion and instantly think that they have it all together and that they never, you know, go back or they never have things that happen. And that's just not the case. So we're always forever working. And I was just really grateful that that happened in that moment. So I remember my first time going to project and I was just really nervous to share tone and tease in that setting. I had done so many pop up classes, I had taught like, you know, so many different places. But to be at a women's event with all these different speakers. So I just did what I knew how to do best. And I spoke a little bit in the beginning, very briefly, and I started moving the women through and at the end, and this was when I only did it for about 20, 30 minutes. And the first thing a woman came up to me and said was, I haven't. She was crying and she said, I haven't had sex with my husband in a year and I'm calling him right now. So that kind of just blew me away. Over the next couple of days, get inboxes from women just sharing what it did for them. So it was something that I needed too, right? Like just that validation that what I was doing with this program did mean something. So that was the first time for me that I knew it was a fun dance class that women could go to and just, you know, have a girls night and something like that. But in that moment, I really just knew it was something bigger.
Oh my God, that's beautiful. And for me, it's like there are things in life that run parallels so clearly that it's going to ripple into every part of your life. And this is one of those things that it's an experience that I just, I feel is so incredibly important because, yes, it's, you know, doing dancing in a dark room to sexy music and really just like letting yourself go wherever you want to go. But if you can do that, if you can get out of your head during that, you can get out of your head during Your pitch for this new company that you want, you can get out of your head while you're up on stage trying to speak your truth, you can get out of your head during, you know, an argument. Like, it's. It's so insane how that can be such a massive reference point that if you can get through that, you can truly, like, find the place where you can drop into yourself. And that's what you're teaching. You're teaching, how do I drop into myself? Under really uncomfortable, comfortable, high, kind of your own pressure, high stress situation. That's what it is. And it's. It's really amazing because you make it fun and you make it light and you're hilarious. Like, you make. All of a sudden, I'm like, am I being sexy? And she's cracking jokes and I'm laughing. Okay, this is great. We all feel really crazy right now.
Yeah, I definitely like to not be so serious, because it's just. Life is meant to be fun, right? And I think, myself included, we can get really serious about things, and it's just not that serious. And I always say, just touch yourself, because if you don't, nobody else will. Let's be honest, it's just something meant to be fun. And I know for myself, once I started going to these women events, one of the first things that I would do is just start looking at these beautiful women and comparing myself up and down. I would look at their hair, what they're wearing. Did I pack the right thing? I shouldn't be wearing that. And all of this noise and judgment about myself and other people was going on in my head. So I'm like, if I am feeling this, I know that there's other women feeling it. Right? And then we make the judgment that that beautiful woman that we think is perfect, she's feeling literally the same way as we are. So if we can just kind of release that for a minute and like you said, drop into our body. And then you're right. When you need to make that phone call or have that conversation or ask the question, you can literally change your state just by a breath of movement, a yell. Like, we definitely do intentions in the beginning before I start as well. So I always think all of that connected is really important, and you can take it outside of that room.
So I want to. I want to backtrack, because I want to know where this idea came from, because I don't know if it's. I don't know if in your mind you were like, yeah, this is going to be like, maybe you had a feeling that it was going to be as big as it is and all these people were going to want you at their events. And I know this year has just like exploded for you, but you've had a few different chapters along the way to this as well. But I want to talk about, like, let's backtrack to maybe when you were not doing any of this. Like, how did you grow up? Who were your biggest influences? Let's start there.
Oh, my gosh. So, you know, I grew up in Jersey, up north. And my, honestly, my biggest influence was my sister. And I shared this at one of the Bliss projects. She gave me my first prayer book. It was Illuminata by Marianne Williamson. And I brought the book and it's just like ripped into pieces because I've used it over and over again. It's like a Bible, essentially that I keep with me.
What was the title?
Illuminata by Marianne Williamson. It's just this beautiful, amazing prayer book. And I actually send to so many people because of what it's done for my life. And I actually just ordered a new one because I'm missing a couple pages that I use the most. But I just, my sister just has always been into personal development and meditation and Marianne Williamson and going to all these events and I mean, I feel like when I was younger, I knew about self help, the self help aisle, right. And Dr. Phil. That was the extent of my personal development, to be honest. And I went back to college at a later age. I was actually 29. I only went a few years of college. Didn't really know what I wanted to do. And I actually was never a trained dancer or anything. I mean, my mother said I would like grow a fit every time she brought me to dancing school. So I never did any of that. But I remember I'm trying to think I have to backtrack now. Oh. So it was in network marketing. That's when I really understood what personal development was. And I'd done therapy, a good point of portion of my life. But once I started network marketing and understanding what really personal development is, because they utilize that so much in their training, it was something that I was so pulled towards and I got my first coach. And I think I never not had a coach since between NLP muscle testing. I've just literally always had a coach for the past eight or nine years at this point. So, I mean, that's what kind of led me to just like thinking outside of the box and kind of where I am today. But as far as tone and tease goes, I was a fitness instructor. I taught group exercise classes. I mean, you name it from fin to step, when there was step. I don't know if you remember something. Rebounding, what was it called? It's called rebounding with a little trampoline.
Called the trampoline. Yes.
It's so interesting. Like, I never was really like a dancer. I was a cheerleader and everything like that. But I had to audition for this gym actually in the town that I'm living right now about seven or eight years ago, and it might actually even be longer. And they wanted me to create a new program to teach there and audition within. I'm like, I was like, okay, like what? What kind of program do they want? And I knew I had done Zumba, which. Have you ever actually done Zumba before?
Like once?
Yeah. So that was like my biggest dance. That was the most dance that I had ever really done. I started looking on Crunch Online, on Crunch Fitness Online. And they just had all these different dance classes. And I saw this guy dancing sexy with a body bar. So I was like, oh, okay, that's interesting.
Oh, I like that.
Yeah, I was kind of obsessed with them. It was actually called strip bar. So I decided instead of using a body bar, I would use a chair. So that's essentially where tone and tease came. So it was basic dance fitness with a sexy edge and easy to follow format with a chair. And that's how tone and tees originally started.
So what the reason I love when people tell their stories is because it's never. It's like, oh, well, network marketing. And I. I think you were a bartender too at one point, right?
Oh my gosh. Yeah. I mean, it's so interesting when I go back. Yeah, I was a bartender literally for 10 years.
So what do you think that did? Because I like to like, I love to say, like, what were all of the little lessons that you pulled from all these random things that you did into where you're at right now? So what would you say bartending helped you do with what you do when you're in a room full of women now?
Oh, gosh, that's such a interesting and great question. So bartending, I feel like it helped me. It assisted me in commanding a stage. And it's really interesting because the fact that I've been speaking so much is really amazing and just interesting all at the same time because I never imagined myself being on a stage as much as I've been, especially in this past year. And I really Think behind the bar. You have to command back there because there's a lot of people. And I worked at really high volume bars before, so I. So for those of you listening, if you've ever been to the Jersey Shore, I waited on the Jersey Shore cast, like, back in the day, Snooki, all of them. So I worked at really high volume bars, and I was a really amazing bartender. I just was. I was multitasker. I was fun, funny, and I just got stuff done. So I think with that and even being a fitness instructor, no matter what mood that you're in, you just have to be there and show up. No matter what happens the two minutes before, in order to make your money, you just show up. So I really. I'm actually really good at changing state. I just am amazing at it. I can cry and then five seconds later be like, all right, it's time to go. And then you just kind of switch it on and off. That's why I think this has kind of followed me. And it's interesting because I never imagined that would be something that I would teach. But I look back and think how often I've done it and still do it in my life now and how it's assisted me. And I know that's one of my superpowers.
Oh, I love that. It's so crazy because we are in. Sometimes we're like, oh, God, you know, I bartended for too long, or I worked in this fitness place for too long, or I worked in that restaurant for too long. And it's like you were gathering so many lessons, even if it was just like, you kept showing up to a place you didn't love and you kept putting a smile on your face, like, that is a lesson that sometimes takes years and years and years and years and years to even understand. So I love hearing about that.
Too many people finish their workday feeling frustrated, drained, and unfulfilled. I know that. I have experienced that myself. And the good news is it doesn't have to be this way, and you don't need a new job to fix it. Patrick Lencioni, author of the Five Dysfunctions of a Team and more than a dozen other bestsellers, created the Working Genius assessment to help you pinpoint the kind of work that gives you energy, the kind that lights you up, up, and it also shares the kind that drains it. So over a million people, including me, have taken it and completely changed how I lead and show up every day. If you're a CEO, an entrepreneur, or someone who just wants to level up in business and in life. Working genius is going to give you the clarity and confidence to operate in your strengths and find greater joy in what you do. Because confidence isn't pretending to be good at everything. It's knowing where you're trying. Truly gifted Take the working genius assessment today and get 20 off with code earn@workinggenius.com that's working genius dot com. You'll be glad you did it. There are so many challenges to business that I don't want starting to be.
One of them for you. And when you want more.
When you're starting a business, you need Northwest Registered Agent because you get access to thousands of free guides, tools and legal forms to help you launch and protect your business. And it's all in one place. You can build your complete business identity with Northwest today. Northwest Registered Agent has been helping small business owners and entrepreneurs launch and grow business for nearly 30 years. They're the largest registered agent and LLC service in the US with over 1500 corporate guides. Real people who know your local laws and can help you and your business every step of the way. You can sign up for free account to begin managing your business hub with lawyer, drafted operating agreements, bylaws, resolutions, membership certificates, bills of sale and more at no cost. Northwest makes life easy for business owners. They don't just help you form your business, they give you the free tools you need after you form it like operating agreements, meeting minutes and and thousands of how to guides that explain the complicated ins and outs of running a business. And let me tell you, this is life changing because I had no idea how much went into this. So don't wait. Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business Identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes. Visit www.northwestregisteredagent.com Earn free and start building something amazing. Get more with Northwest registered agent at www.northwestregisteredagent.com forward/earfree.
So I know that now you are in you and I met like just to backtrack even more. Like you and I met through network marketing and I just remember seeing you on stage and I was like whoa, she is so like you're. You are so down to. I just, you know when you recognize a similar energy. I was like that woman. I know I would love her because she's just like down to earth. And also you were very powerful and I knew you were getting your power. Like I felt like authentic power was from being yourself. Like your ability to just go up there and be you and whether you know you were like that or not you were. And I think that's what is so beautiful about you. And I think it's where you are getting women is into that place of like their superpower is just to actually drop in and be them. And you're using this tool of like dance and speaking and whatever else you have that you've learned along the way. So I know that this year has been like a wild ride for you. Like, I feel like I. I literally can't open social media without seeing you at someone's event or doing something awesome. So tell me number one about like what the years leading up to this looked like, but then also what it feels like when all of a sudden you do have all of these different things that you're being asked to do.
Oh my gosh, I love all of this. And I'm so glad that you asked me about bartending because I often forget to even share that part of myself. And with social media, you know, you're meeting new people virtually all the time and they're making assumptions on who you are or what happened in the past and why things, why something might be happening for you. And it's easy for you and all that stuff. And I think it can happen to all of us. And I always want for people to know honestly where I've come from and what I continually work on on a daily basis. And you know, I. Leading up to just even this conversation. Lori, I have been one of those women who have had really low self confidence. I've definitely gone back into victimhood more often than I'd like to admit. Hence when right when you called me, I was going back to binging something that I had thought I healed time and time again. But the one thing about it is I'm just always. I literally do the work every single day. Otherwise we wouldn't even be on this phone call right now. And with each experience, I improve. I do it afraid. The one thing is I'll make a decision and I'll just take action. And you share this message all the time. It might not always look how you want, but I remember you even sharing with me whatever is supposed to happen in that room is supposed to happen. So if you literally forget every single word that you were supposed to say, or if you fumble or mess up, someone needed to hear that, right? So I might step into something different or something new and I want to vomit. I do it anyway. And I just think continually doing that over time has made me so much stronger in so many different aspects. So it was really interesting. And even though I've done that, I definitely feel like I still was playing small in certain areas. And I'm going to tell you a really truthful story because it's just assisted me in moving forward in this whole past year. So I went to Angeli's event last October, and, you know, so many women were on the stage that I've actually spoken in a room with, and a part of me was like, I want to be there, but it almost didn't feel good enough. But I was like, that's what I want to do. You know how you keep getting that pull for something that you want to do and it just doesn't go away? But I kept making excuses of, like, no, you have this great life. Like, things are good, whatever it was. And then I saw Chris afterwards, and he actually had messaged me and just. He shared something with, like, you know, you're doing so great. I just feel like you could be doing more. And I had literally had that same conversation with the two girls that I was with. I go, I know I'm doing a great job. I've accomplished so much, but I want to do more. And it's because I just know that again, if I'm feeling a certain way, I'm feeling pulled and not doing it like other people are, too. So I literally made a decision in that moment that I was going to start leveling up or whatever it is for that person that they think they want to do. And I had always wanted to have my own event kind of like that you're doing, but I wanted to add mindset and movement, so not just have movement in the morning or something. Like, I literally wanted people to dance in their seats. And I made a decision that week. I set a date and I had my first event. But not just that like, I had my first event, but I've also. I. I've spoken on more stages this year than I ever have. I've just done so much this year, probably more in this year than I've done in the past couple years. That were scary. I mean, speaking on stage in front of 12,000 people is kind of new for me. So I think that was really powerful for me to actually step into that and even just, like, asking for help or reaching out to people, whatever it was for me, it's definitely the consistency of the things that I've done over time.
I just love all of the different pieces and those moments of where I think our soul could totally retreat. Like, you can go to events, and I know that you had mentioned kind of your default response was going back into victimhood or going back into old habits. And I mean, that's everyone's default response. Maybe not those exact things, but it's our default response to want to go back to whatever it was that was sabotaging us. And I think in those moments, it's like that. That moment of realization of, hey, this. This doesn't have to be something that makes me feel bad. This can be something that, you know, makes me step into whatever version of leveling up that is. So what are some things that you would say to somebody who right now, they, like, they're going to the events, they know that they want to, you know, do something bigger. Maybe they're afraid that it's not gonna be that version or that version of what that person's doing, or they don't feel good enough or they don't. And I know. I feel like we have this conversation all of the time together, just mini clips about, like, you know, I just don't know if I feel good enough for that. And I'm like, what are you talking about? Like, I'm like. I feel like we are. Like, I put you in the same space as everybody else who's doing all of this big work but you. I know it took you a while to see yourself in that space. So what would you say to that person who is not yet seeing themselves in the light that got you to where you are right in this very moment?
Oh, my gosh, I love that question. Because I think for me, it's forever changing in the sense that maybe not every day looks the same, right? Because we just have different seasons, and that's just what it is. But I feel like if you have that practice of consistency in whatever it is that you're doing daily, you're not going to sit in it for long. So whoever's listening, I always feel that if you have that feeling in you, it's for you. We've heard that so many times. And I just feel like I'm always being pulled and how. And I've had so many people, especially over the last year, because even though I've done all these amazing things, I still feel sometimes like, you know, you have those, like, voices in your head and that noise, and you can sometimes give into it like the old victim parts of us. You don't have to. And I feel like I still sometimes feel that I'm just being completely honest, but I move through it by taking action. I mean, and I shared a post about this, whether it's helping someone else or reaching out to someone or trying to connect with someone, I think that we can stay in our head if we're secluded and, like, scrolling through social media and thinking about all the things we could have done that we haven't done. And we never. Number one, we never. We don't often take the action consistently. I think a lot of times people get really excited, kind of like they do in January or on a Monday after a holiday when they start something, but they don't consistently do it. And it's not easy all the time to show up and do the work, to feel good. And it is. It's just work. But I think if you want to live a life that you want to live, it's something that you're just going to always have to do, but it's more fulfilling. I know for me, in sharing all of this, I've connected with so many people who I would never think that feel the same way as I have. And it's just so refreshing to hear that they do.
Oh, my God. I think we. Honestly, even the people who are like, no, I've totally got this. Maybe I'm not as nervous showing up for this. There's something in their life where there's feeling that way no matter what it is. There's something in their life that maybe they just have the, you know, the tools and the rituals and habits really down. So when that feeling comes up, they can approach it quicker and they know how to take care of it quicker. But it's basically like, I don't know if this analogy is even gonna fly because I've never used it, but, like. Because I don't have a baby. But I'm about to use a baby analogy. Like a crying baby. Like, it's never. It's not that you can, like, it's not that a baby will ever stop crying, but you. I'm guessing if it was like, your sixth baby, you're like, okay, I know how to cope with this. I don't know two women who don'. Have babies yet, but let's use these baby analogies.
But I absolutely can relate to that, which is so funny and interesting because it's true, I guess, because, like, you know, you can think about ourselves crying to ourselves, and it's just like, I can spot my victim tendencies in an instant, but I can do it with other people as well. And I get. When it's people that I love and that are close to me, it frustrates the crap out of Me, because I want to shake them and be like. Like, you can do this. You don't have to live this comfortable life. It's so safe. It's actually safe. And it feels good to cry, right? And sit on the couch pizza and watch reruns of Housewives. And I'm not saying that you can't do that ever. But there comes a time where that has to change if you want to live. I mean, that just can't happen all the time.
Yeah, it feels good until it feels like your worst nightmare.
Oh, my God.
Until you have that piece of pizza in your hand and you're like, I can't. I was just thinking that I was on a run today, and I was like, I remember because I'm trying to. We have a mastermind coming up. And I always try to tap into the emotions, like, in the room, like, where was I when I, you know, was walking into rooms like this? And I remember different feelings of, like, Mondays that would come, and I would just say to myself, like, I can't have next Monday be like this Monday, because I don't have it in me to live through another day of these feelings. Like, I didn't even know what that meant. I just knew I had to change something because I couldn't stand, like, waking up to another day that I, like, was the same person. Like, I knew I needed to change something.
Oh, gosh, I can so relate to that. I even actually made a joke of it when I was at Bliss, saying, you know. You know, like, you throw the cake out, and then like, an hour later, you, like, go back to the garbage. You're like, well, it's just kind of at the top. Like, I'll just have no big deal.
Oh, I'm.
Yeah. Yeah.
Oh, my God. Okay, so tell me about this year, though. Like, just tell me about the ride kind of of this year, of how, you know, I feel like you've just done so much work and how things show up. Like, I think sometimes people can for, like, they don't understand how their life is going to start shifting and, like, leaning into the miracles and how if you just show up for yourself, all of a sudden these other things start showing up. So can you just share, like, a little bit of your journey of that part this year? Then I also know we're going to dive into some other parts.
Yeah. So like I said, I just really took massive action when I came home from that trip and in every part of my life and all of my businesses, and it really kept me really productive. And I grew as a speaker, I grew just in my confidence. I've connected with so many other people and it's so interesting. I've been able to meet people who were able to hold a mirror to me. And just like they met me and I didn't or they saw me on stage and they had shared what it did for them. So they were able to show a part of me that like I sometimes wasn't feeling. And I had so many people and even recently, like, I want you to see yourself how we see you. And honestly, it's something that I need sometimes, right? Like sometimes the validation, you don't always get it. And I've always moved forward without getting it. But this year was definitely a mirror for me. And I. Creating this event in my, in my hometown has just been amazing as well. And connecting with other people. I remember saying I wanted to up level in my relationships with women. I wanted to connect with more women. You know, I moved Home from California 2 1/2 years ago and I remember just being like, how am I going to go back there with? And I made the decision to move home because my father was sick and I wanted to. There was just no way that I was living in California and flying home as often that I needed to be home. And I was really nervous to come home. I was like, there's not going to be any supportive women. And there are. A girl that I used to bartend with had created, created this amazing babes in business movement here. And from that I've met incredible people. A lot of my speakers are just from this hometown and then just traveling with tone and tees and it not just being a dance fitness class, it's actually an experience, a move where I am able to speak and share my own experiences and inspire other women with things that I've gone through. Inspiration has been priceless. And yeah.
Okay, so I want to just go back for one second because you said you left Angie's event and you started taking massive action. So I want to know in the day to day, what does that look like? Because I can't tell you how many times I've left events and haven't taken the massive action. But then the other times when I have left events and it sounds like we're in the similar vein of like events and these moments have like really changed our lives. But what, what were the things that you did that actually at this one made a difference when you hit that wall of like, I'm super fed up of not being the person that I know I'm capable of being. And so I'm going to do what, like what did that look like in the day to day once you got home?
So. Well, I. One of the things I did was actually joining Chris Mastermind. I felt like in order for me to be immersed into what I actually wanted, I wanted to join something like that. And it's been incredible. Like, I just can't even say it enough. So that was the one thing I did. And then aside from for my event, it's like. So I got really organized. I think that we can say we're going to do a lot and then just do a lot of busy work, right? But I was very intentional. I mean, I reached out to women in this area and I had coffee dates with them. I went to events in the area, I set up speaking events. I actually reached out to people to see if they wanted me to speak at their events. I just was really consistent with doing the work. And it's interesting too, because I come from someone who's never had less than three W2 forms for the most part of my life. I had won seven W2 2 forms in a calendar year. So I feel that when I'm productive, I do my best work because it almost doesn't leave room for me to overthink something. And now, granted, I wasn't just working, working, working. I mean, I'm teaching my dance classes, you know, I have time for myself and everything like that. But, you know, I do want to share as much as I was doing all of this, like all of the actionable steps and work to move whatever you want forward and connect with the right people. And you know, of course having the container, reading your books, meditating, and whatever you need to do to kind of just energetically be on top of things. I had two sick parents and it's still something that I'm actually dealing with in this moment. And I always share too. And I actually shared this at an event not too long ago with all of this happening. I was. Had chaos in my family, just to be honest. And it's so interesting. I'm like, oh my gosh, I wonder if anyone from my family is going to be listening to this. But I just wanted to be really transparent on this part. I've definitely become a caretaker for my father. And then my mother had some health issues too. So it was like, I've been in more hospitals, rehabs, homes in the past year than I could ever imagine someone's been in their entire life. And you know, I come from Personal development. So nothing's hard, right? We don't use the word hard challenge. And, like, you don't want to stay in it, quote unquote, for long. But I actually didn't have time to be in it, so I felt like I was a robot for so long. And with the work that I do and that you do, we really need to energetically be in a good place to be giving, you know, the transfer of energy back and forth. And a lot of my work is giving, which I love, but I was giving in so many areas of my life. Right. So I have a really great support system in terms of my friends and people that surround me. But I feel like being around, like, I've seen things with my father. I mean, like, to be very candid for the people listening, like, I watched this Marine go from never being sick my entire life to, you know, having to help change his diapers. It's just the reality of what it was. And it's been. It's been challenging, but I'm so proud of myself for what I've still been able to do with that.
So I want to talk about that because I feel like this is that beautiful lesson in life that's horrible and just as much a part of it as it is, I think the light exists with the darkness, and we're always trying to get out of the dark and into the light, but there's no way that that can even happen because they're happening at the same time. So how do you and I know that you're still in this, and I know that this is fairly fre, but I feel as though you talk a lot about how it's almost like your state changes and all the things you've done have gotten you ready to almost learn how to really compartmentalize, and that there's still joy over here while there is this over here. And it's not that you're not saying it's not joyful to be around your family, but there's a lot of hard things. We're gonna use that word today that comes with the spot that you are in. So how have you been able to, like, find the joy within that?
And again, I'll always go back to consistency because I think that if I didn't do the work in terms of having a coach, learning to meditate, understanding what to do when you're triggered, you know, having breathing exercises, surrounding myself with the right support system over time. I mean, there was a time where I had to weed out people from my feed. You Know, back in the day when you wanted to really change and you take down the certain pictures, and I really surrounded myself with some amazing people who I could reach out to. So I asked for help and support from the people that I knew who could give it to me. And honestly, what brings life back to me is knowing is kind of making someone. You know the saying, like, make someone else's day better. It really did, because I know that someone would trade problems with me in a heartbeat. And I think I listen to a lot of Abraham Hicks, and I'll always remember she says this often. I mean, find joy in the simplest things. Like, yes, these things were challenging and hard, but, like, I'm breathing, I'm walking, I have my sight. Like, you know, there's simple things in life that I can be grateful for. I mean, my. And this year, I lost a really good friend to breast cancer. And I'll never forget her telling me that she had it three years ago. And to watch what's happened to her, I mean, it's just almost like someone always has it worse. And I actually could have really sat in some of the stuff that happened to me, and people would have been like, you know what? I understand, but it's just not who I am or who I've grown to be, and I just. I wouldn't have it any other way, you know? And, yes, it's the state change, Lori, And I just feel so. I feel so strong about that, that no matter who you are and what's going on, you can find joy in the simplest things and start to change your mind. Because two people could have the same exact problems, and how you respond to them could look so differently, right?
Oh, yeah. So what is the next version of you that you are kind of facing off with? Like, I feel like there's always, like, another version of me that I know is right there, that I'm like, oh, I see you, but you're scaring me.
That is so funny. You know, I first want to say to people, like, trust me. Like, it's not every day where I'm like, oh, I'm breathing, everything's great. Like, you definitely. I feel my feelings. I just don't sit in them. And I think there is a difference between that. And. So where I see myself in the future is I want to really step into Eva. So, Eva, for those of you who don't know, she's. Who shows up on stage, she just is. And it's like. It's just like this flip, you know, in leading up to Any kind of performance or something that I'm doing. I actually created a way that I kind of get into state even before it, whether it's listening to music, breathing exercises, and things like that. But once I step on the stage, it's like something happens. And I just want to feel her more as Tara on a regular basis. I think I've stopped myself of doing a lot in my life. Yes, I've accomplished a lot, but I have not reached out to people because I thought I wasn't good enough in the past. I haven't attended things because I was nervous, I wasn't smart enough or whatever it was in my head. I kind of let that take over. So I feel like I'm so done with that chapter of who I was, and I'm just ready to truly step into just a higher, more powerful me. And in the fact of showing other people that they can do it too. And I feel like that's so much of your work. Lori, I have to say that your teaching just allows people to step in to that person that they never imagined they could be, but who they are. And I just love that. And I just think everyone deserves to do whatever it is that they're feeling pulled. And for me, it's just doing this movement and stay change women, literally from all over the world.
Oh, thank you so much for that. And honestly, I. I love that you just said, you know, people deserve to be that person. And it's not just like, yes, they so deserve it, because it's needed. And it's like the reward for stepping in is beyond anything I can even describe, like, with words. Like, it's a. It's this ultimate connection to yourself that's connected to something that just opens your eyes to, like, how life. Life is actually meant to feel and how it works. Like, it's the weirdest thing when you can almost not describe it. You can't describe it to people until you meet someone that, you know, just kind of gets, like, these different laws that are functioning that people don't understand. Like, there's laws to the universe of how you think and how you're being and how you feel and how you're showing up. And it's just, like, the coolest thing to get those glimpses of these. These, like, laws. Did I just randomly, like, talk about something that made no sense?
No. I feel like you speak my language, Lori. I always get what you're saying, but, you know, I am a huge believer in energy, the universe, God, source, whatever you think it is. I love Joe Dispenza and his teachings. He's incredible. So I believe in all of that. Like, in how you think and how you feel and what you say is just going to be in alignment with what shows up in your life. And I know for me, when I'm thinking, feeling, saying things that aren't in alignment, that's what's showing up. So I always know when I need to shift. I always know. And in. In the past, it's taking me so much longer, and it's. It's now. It's not that I don't fall into that, but it happens so much quicker. I mean, in and out or like, not even in it.
So what do you think?
I thought.
Oh, go ahead.
Yeah. No, it was just like a thought. You can, like, swish away now. It doesn't even have to. You don't even have to give into it.
Yes. Okay, So I. I'm getting so many questions too fast in my mind for you. Okay. So I. So the, the, like, the, the triggering thing that would happen for you or the sabotage thing that would happen for you in the past was to, like, binge eat when you would feel. You know, I. I feel like we tend to go back to those. When we're not doing the thing that we're being called to. So, like, that person that we want to be or not taking action.
So.
So does that still show up for you at all? And is it far less? And how do you, like, you know, if you're maybe comparing yourself or you're finding that you're on social media, is the. Do you find that you want to go back into the comfort food and binge eating and how are you coping with it now? And honestly, I want to know, what do you think stopped you from doing that? Was it stepping in more into, like, your truth and less suppression?
Yeah, so it's. I love that question because I think when you step into and almost schedule all these things, you don't have time to feel crappy. Like, you literally don't. You have to feed and fuel your body with what feels good. But, like, I also make time for my friends and enjoy. You know, I enjoy time and I don't ever feel guilty. I think around food, too, it was the guilt of, like, having something bad. Like, it was either all or nothing, and I just don't have that anymore. Like, I definitely enjoy myself, but I don't feel that. Like, I. And it was interesting because I had a close friend of mine say, how did you do it? And I almost couldn't give her an answer other than I don't feel the need to do it anymore. Like, there's nothing that, like, in my body that wants to eat an entire pizza. But the thing is, is if I did, I wouldn't feel guilty because that means I would just want. But again, I think when you have to show up, you can't show up hungover from food or alcohol.
So. I used to have the same issue. I had such a crutch with binge eating, and it was always when I was bored or I felt bad about myself or I wasn't stepping into different things, and it really started to shift, and I couldn't even see that it was necessarily happening. But whenever I do the same thing, like when people ask, because I've had so many people ask, well, how did you get over this? Or, how did you get over that? Or, how'd you get over your anxiety? And I was like, I think I just filled my calendar with so many things that scared me. And I was doing. I was taking so much action that my higher self wanted to take, and I was taking actions that were on purpose with why I was on this planet, Even if it wasn't, like, directly like, yeah, this is my mission on the planet. It was like, this is on the path to where I know I'm supposed to go. It takes away all of those feelings of wanting to numb because you want to, like, you want to show up for your life. Don't get me wrong. There have been times where I've, like, done. I'm sure you've done your events, or you've done, you know, a bliss project, or you've done speaking, and you're like, just give me all of the food. But even then you're eating because you're just like, wow, I need energy, and I'm super drained. And like you said, kind of the guilt around it. But I think that's so beautiful that it's like, you don't realize that, you know, the results of stepping into your higher calling are going to affect every part of your life.
Yeah. And, you know, it's really interesting. And I just feel like a lot of. I mean, women and men struggle from food addiction. And it's just obviously to Phil, we know that. But I am so grateful to get to this point where if I'm craving a burger, I'm having it, and I. And the guilt is not there. Like, it was big deal. And, you know, again, it definitely shows up. But then I know to move my body, get up, and do Something. I mean, I see. I was saying a friend just the other day. It's not that I don't. You don't feel those things, but you just take action in spite of it, whether it's just walking my. Walking my dog or taking a drive or calling someone or doing something for one of my businesses. It's just. And I'm sure there's people listening, like, well, I don't have a dog or a business. Well, then I'm like, you know, maybe you just put the energy towards the passion or something else or just, you know, giving back to someone. Mm.
Oh, my God. I would. This is so. I can't even believe I'm about to share this, but I think you'll totally get it. Like, this morning, I, like, noticed in my brain, I was getting ready to go for a run, and I. This pair of jeans that isn't normally there was, like, on the end, like, my beautiful, amazing housekeeper must have, like, arranged something in my closet. And I looked at that pair of jeans, and I was like, oh, those are really old. Those are from when I was competing. I wonder if they still fit. You should try them on. And I was like, don't do that. I literally caught myself and I had them in my hand, and I was like, why would you do that? Like, why do you need to do that? Which part of you needs to do that? Like, what would make you feel better? Because today you want to feel good, and it's important that you feel good to show up, like, for everything you have to do. And I was like, you know what made me feel better? A podcast that makes me, like, remember who I am and to go move my body. But it was so. It was just that moment where in the past, I maybe would have tried them on and been like, oh, you're not that anymore, and you're not this. And maybe poke at my body. And now I'm like, no. Like, what? No, that's not going to make you feel better. And I remember I talked to myself in, like, a loving way. I was like, that's not gonna make you feel better, so don't even bother. Like, step away.
Yeah. I just think we want. We. We give in to what we want now instead of. Of holding off for what's going to make us feel better. It's just that instant gratification. And, you know, we've all been through it, and it's just figuring out what's right for you and how to, you know, heal that.
Mm. It's so weird, though, because it's not even now. We're just going into therapy. Session time, I guess, for both of us. Like, but it wasn't even going to make me feel better to try them on. Like, I knew it was going to be a weird addiction to an old pain.
So crazy, right?
Yeah. Can you help me? I'm like, do you do that?
No. But it's really funny that you said that. I heard the other day it was something. I don't know if it was a podcast or a book I was reading. They talked about our ancestors and how all the crap that we deal with today is because our ancestors were always trying to fight and keep themselves safe from war and stuff. And I'm like, that's so interesting. I'm like, that's totally why my head was so messed up. I could just blame it on them for all the therapists. Like, they only left me some money to, like, pay for that.
Yeah, exactly. So what is coming up for you right now in your life? Like, I feel like there's, you know, there's always something that is the line between the next version of ourself and it's never a bad thing. And I think that's the beautiful thing about what we. What we start to become aware of in life is it's not that you are like, you have something bad or you're trying to get over something. It's just another part of, you know, it's just a part of you that might be blocking you from where you want to go next, and that's life. But what is that part for you right now that is maybe just a bit of an asterisk that is kind of like stopping you from maybe taking some actions that you want to be taking.
I know it so clearly. And there's a few people, one in the mastermind and actually had a great call with your amazing husband, Chris. And like, these people and someone were just saying how I said before, like, I wish I was sharing with them some of the things that were blocking my head of why I wasn't doing a certain thing. And they're like, kara, I wish you could see yourself how I see you. And that's why I said stepping into eva. So. So which who is me, right? But it's that person who just knows she's just as good as everyone else. Like, we're all human. We're all made from the same. And yes, people might be further along, further along than we are in certain aspects of life. And it's not to take away from all the hard work and their accomplishments, but it's more to see each other on the same level and be inspired. And if you're seeing someone in a certain light, it's because that's meant for you, too. And I think it's my victim, my old victim tendencies, my ancestors, whoever it is, that, like, it's just safe for me. And I know it more to go back to that. I mean, yes, I've been doing personal development for eight years, but, I mean, I'm 41 years old, so I've been doing that way less than I've been doing all of the other crap. So I am so committed and just want to step into that person that I know I can be more than who I choose to be. When I'm alone, I can very well isolate myself and maybe even cancel a podcast, excuse me, like this with you. Because of those noises that are in our head that we give into, and I just refuse to do that anymore. So for me, it's reaching out to people I want to learn from, hang around with, with, have conversations with, like this, and that's just who I want to be more of.
I love that. And, you know, the theme of your whole podcast has been, like, really reaching out for help when you need it. And I don't know any other way to get through my stuff. I don't. And so I want to ask you this question, because for me, like, reaching out has been the number one thing that pushes me through joining things, doing events, like, all of those things. But when I look at, like, I put them in my calendar now because I know myself, if it's not there, I won't do it for sure. Um, but also, as they come up, I don't want to do them. Like, it could be. It could be something that's like, you know, an amazing event with my best friend, and I could have VIP tickets, and I still am like, oh, resistance. I still am like, I don't want to do it. So how does it feel for you when you are, you know, like, making yourself show up and what do you do to make yourself do it? Like, what. What do you say to yourself?
Oh, my gosh. Same. I think a lot of us feel that way. It's like, you know, sometimes it's just nicer chilling out at home. But I give my. I'm really learning boundaries in terms of people and my time. I'm a yes person, which I think is great to be a yes person for sure. But then there's sometimes where you have to realize what you're Saying yes to. And I feel like a lot of times I was saying yes because of how it would make me look. And it was a lot of ego, which I think was we, like people can struggle back and forth with that and it's just a learning experience. I don't think ego is terrible, but I think for me, I set aside time for myself, you know, to have play time. This way, when I'm going to do those things, I know they always make me feel better afterwards.
That's always what I go to. I kind of fast forward like, you know, if I don't do it, how am I going to feel? And then I fast forward when I'm done doing the thing and I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah, that's how you want to feel?
Yep, I've gained something and grow. And it's something that you can share. If somebody says to me they don't know what to post on social media, they're having block in their business. I think it's going to an event connecting with someone who the 33% rule who just is doing more and they just heard something different in an area. We have inspiration all around us. And I just think if you want to tap into it, it's just a choice, really. All of it. Right.
Tell me the 33% rule.
Oh, so 33%. One of the first things I remember learning. So 33% of the people in your life that you can teach, 33% of the people that are on the same kind of playing field and level of you, and then 33% of people that you can learn from. So just having a mix of that in your life is important. A lot of the times, you know, you're balancing and juggling that. And I always know when I need more of the conversation, like conversations, rather than pulling and dragging and motivating certain people in my life or having people inspire. Like, I love inspirational conversations. They make you feel good.
Oh, I love that. So what are some of the biggest lessons that you've learned that have gotten you through some of the hardest times in your life? Like, the biggest, not just lessons, but like the core beliefs that you have adopted from. From lessons that are tried and true for you in your life?
I mean, like the things that make you want to puke is the ones that you should do because they. Yep, anything that I ever would. I'm such a crier. Like, I cry when I'm happy, sad, nervous, like, you name it, like, I just cry. It's my emotion, my go to emotion. And I Am so fearful of speaking, like, literally. It just makes me want to vomit. I mean, I don't cry a circle anymore, but I get really nervous and I feel so excited when I'm done, I want to do that again, you know. So I've learned that like the things that make you want to puke are the ones that you are going to fall in love with the most. And I also learned that most of the noise in my head is just made up. Like it's interesting. Like I have a very imaginative mind and it tends to lead sometimes on the negative aspect. And for me it's definitely a working practice on the daily to shut that noise out. That's why I love Untethered Soul. I think it's Michael Singer. So if anyone has never read that, incredible. But I just think drowning out that noise is something that has been really powerful for me.
So just about Untethered Soul. What are some of the things that really hit you from that book and how have you seen them apply to your life?
Life? Like the biggest one for me was that your mind has a roommate in it. Like a roommate. So it's like you're literally having a conversation with your mind. And my last coach worked with me a lot on this as well. Like just noticing your thoughts and like kind of letting them go. They're just so powerful and we give in to that. Inner roommate, he calls it. And how so much of what we, what we see in our filter of the world is what we create. And it's mostly bullshit if it's something that's keeping stuck or in a victim mentality or in the past or I can't do this, or poor me, you don't understand. I just feel. Yeah, that was really powerful.
Oh my God, I love that you shared that because it's like I can tell you I was living in. I can't. I can't say the story right now because it's people present in my life. But it's just like I was creating such a crazy story in my mind about people who are like super close to me. And I solved it today by actually having a conversation. I was like, wow. When left unattended, Lori gets crazy, like legitimately, which is also like, I can say it with grace. Like, hey, you know yourself, when you leave things like this open ended for you to fill in the blanks, you're going to feel, apparently the crazy you comes in to fill them in. So make sure you go and have a conversation or decide to, to let go and fill them in. In a different way.
I love that you share that because I always say, do you know how much can be fixed and how many divorces can be and breakups can be fixed and fights? If you just have a conversation, nobody's willing to talk. And it's so interesting. I'm such a talker. I will always go to the person I just. Because my body can't handle keeping it in. And I feel like having conversations has just saved me and just knowing that the conversations in my head are usually bull crap. And I'm really trying to recreate them in all areas.
Yep. Oh my God. So powerful.
Yeah.
Chris and I were talking, we were on a walk last night and we were like, oh my God. The theme, like, of just like solving all life's problems is going back to your like 2 year old self. Like, use your words, please, for the love of God, use your words. What do you need? Like, tell me and let me tell you. And we avoid it. We're like so afraid of rejection or looking weird or. And I figured I was, I mean, like we were talking last night and I wanna know what it is for you. Like the fear of having conversations, even though I'm same as you. Like, I can hardly keep it in my body anymore. It feels like poison. Like, it feels like it's taking me down. But I was like, why don't we say how we're feeling? And it's because it's really easy for other people to like be like, that's not what I meant. Or that's not what I was saying or whatever, like rejection or twisting it on you. And I think how do you make peace with the other side of that, knowing that that's what could be coming.
Oh, like in before having a conversation.
Yeah, Like, I think that's why we don't use our words, is because we're so afraid of somebody twisting it on us or making us feel like a psycho or like it not being true or being rejected. So how do you get right before those conversations and have them anyway?
Because I don't have the time or energy in my life to have people around me who don't support me as a human. So if I'm being vulnerable enough to want to share and talk and I talk to someone to try to clear something up and they are not reciprocating in the way that I'm coming to them, then I don't want that person in my life. So I actually feel like I don't really have those type of. I'm so grateful like, at this moment, you know, with other chaos going on in my family, I'm not really having those conversations. And I just, like, things can't be great with every relationship all the time. But I love. I think communication is literally everything in all relationships. Business relationships, friendships, you know, significant others, family. So if you don't have that, you don't really have a relationship.
It's everything. I'm so glad that this went there. We kind of went all over, and I loved every single part of it. So I could talk to you all day, but I would love to know. First of all, I want to say. I just want to acknowledge you and say thank you for being someone who has impacted my life in such a massive way. I don't think I get to tell you enough, but having you there with me at some of the biggest moments of my life, like, biggest fearful moments, which also means biggest moments of me stepping into, like, who I know I'm supposed to be and having you in the room with me, or knowing that you're on this journey or knowing that I have. Your support has been so huge. It's what has helped me step in even more, is knowing I have those women who are doing the same and also supporting me and cheering me on. And I have just, like, loved. I've always been able to see you, so I have loved watching you see you because I think that so many people around you have always been able to see you, which is so exciting. So I'm just, like, thrilled for whatever is coming on your freaking amazing journey, and I'm just, like, so blessed to be a part of it. So thank you so much for coming on the podcast today and just sharing, you guys. Literally. There's. So she has. She is a wealth of knowledge and wisdom. So make sure you go follow her. So where can we find you? Follow you. And are you having another event?
Yeah. So I'm obviously on social media, and I have Tara Romano.com and tone and tease.com and I am. I, you know, I do pop up tone and tease events. Tone and tease experience for women, women's events. But I am having my. Your life unleashed, which is mindset and movement March 2nd through the 4th. And tickets go on sale next week, actually.
Oh, my God, that's so exciting. That is amazing. I cannot wait for it. And also, I'm really, really thrilled that you will be at Bliss too, this year, which is so exciting. So. And I literally was like, hold on. Yeah, we'll talk after this. But I always get these ideas as people Talk to me about where they want to go.
So, anyhow, well, before we go, I have to thank you, Lori, harder, because you have just been the firestarter for so many of us. And I know for myself personally, I'm grateful for you all the time. And I know I always tell you, but, you know, for paving the way and inspiring us and letting all of us see who we really are to the core.
Oh, totally received that, and thank you so much for that. And I just now have it recorded so I can replay it. But I always end on one last question. Are you ready?
I'm ready.
Okay, so someone walks by you, it's like 30 seconds long, whether it's in an elevator or on the street, and it's a total stranger, and they ask you, how can I make myself happy? What do you say?
Do something. Do something for yourself or someone else. Walk, jump, smile. I just feel like any action neutralizes negative emotions.
Amen, sister. Well, you guys, if you loved this podcast as much as I did, make sure you share it with a friend, like, literally right now. If you know anybody who's dealing with anything in their life, go ahead and text this to them right now. And so grateful for you. And until next time, earn your happy. Bye, everyone. Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing, and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review. If you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment, tell us what you think. Tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happiness.
Be.
Thanks again, guys.
Bye.
Bye.
More from Lori


How to Stop Overcomplicating Wellness and Feel Good Again with Stephanie Gambetta


The Enneagram, AI, and the Leadership Skill Technology Can’t Replace with Tracy O'Malley


The North Star Framework for Leading a Stronger, Self-Sufficient Team with Ashley Thomas


Feel Better at Every Age with the Pilates Principles That Actually Work with Vanessa Kelly






