473. Questionably Awesome - Your Burning Questions Answered

People say they have faith, but they're never willing to test their faith. They're never willing to challenge it and actually see if they have it. It's literally like being like, yeah, I can swim, but I'm not getting in that water. Welcome to the earn your happy podcast. I'm Lori Harder, founder of The Bliss Project, 3 Time Fitness World champion, fitness expert and cover model, turned self love junkie, lifestyle entrepreneur and author. Each I'll bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bust through your fears, connect to your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life, business and relationships. We don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us we're good enough. We take what we want and we anoint ourselves. Get ready to earn, own and unapologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go.

Foreign.

Welcome back to questionably awesome. This is your first episode of 2020, Evans. How are you feeling?

I'm feeling rejuvenated and pumped.

Oh, man, those are good words. It's like repumped, re.

Pumped for renewal.

I'm gonna hook myself up to a pump.

I don't know, the holidays can really.

Take it out of you. Oh, they sure can. And it's like if you do something crazy on New Year's Eve, you're going to wake up on one one and just be undone.

You're not going to feel good. No, I'll be honest. That was me in 2019. Day one of 2019.

Did you just get turned? I got hurt and I did not mean to.

It doesn't take much.

What did you do?

Wait, no, not this year though. This was like a year ago.

A year ago. What did you do?

We just had drinks with friends and went to a couple of different places and if I have more than two beverages, yeah, it's game over.

You know what? Back when you were like 21, you were six pack Evans. I know, I heard all about it. Just kidding. She was not. She wasn't Six Pack Evans. Although I think there was a time we were six pack time. I might have been like a 12.

Yeah.

To 18 pack.

12 bud lights.

There's there's 12 and then there's 18. For those people who are like 12 just isn't enough. I need six more. Six more for the evening. Oh, okay. Welcome to 20 20. This is questionably awesome. Where every single episode is not questionable. It's pretty much just awesome. But if you are looking for an interview or something a little More serious. This is not the show for you. We like to give a nice warning in the beginning because some people are like, I feel very studious this morning and serious. This isn't going to be it.

Nope. And that's okay that you feel that way.

That's okay. You tune into a different episode if you're feeling crazy and you want to learn awesome stuff. Stuff in a funny way. Because that's how you learn the best. This is your show.

Couldn't agree more.

I really think we need to come up with a theme song.

I do too.

This is your song.

This is your theme song.

Questionably awesome.

2020.

Tell me about what you did this year. Yeah.

For New Year's Eve. What did we do? Oh, you're gonna like this. We rode our bikes to dinner around 5pm oh my God, I love it.

Yes, of course. Perfect time.

Perfect time for dinner. Then got a pint of ice cream from a local spot where it wasn't from Jenny's.

It wasn't Jenny's. You're wearing.

I'm wearing my Jenny sweatshirt.

I think that's a great New Year shirt.

It's a great. It's a great shirt. You guys.

She's wearing a Jenny sweatshirt, which is an ice cream company that she loves.

I love Jenny's. If you haven't had Jenny's ice cream, I encourage everyone to try it.

That's a sexy Jenny shirt.

It really is.

Do you think when she was making it, she was like, oh, this is going to be for a sexy lady who likes pints of ice cream?

Yes, I do.

Yeah. Are you going to crop that?

Probably make it cropped and take the sleeves off. It's like the manliest shirt ever.

I love it. It's so cute. But we could crop it. Yeah, I could crop it right below the bra line.

It's nice.

Going to eat a pint of ice cream and do a photo shoot in it. It's going to be great.

I'm in.

Okay. Back to bike riding at 5pm yeah.

We were home by like 7:38 and we did those face mask things. You know, the, the sheet ones.

Oh, I saw it on Instagram.

Yep.

And probably was asleep by 10.

Did you do any, like, talking about what you want for 2020?

Yes, we did that earlier. We went on a hike.

Okay. What you talk about? What do you want?

We talked about kind of budgeting and financial goals.

Oh, I love that.

That was really important.

That's so important. People don't do that.

Yeah, it's. It's A scary conversation.

It's a bit of the foundation, though. Like, how are you supposed to figure out what direction you want to go if you don't talk about everything?

Exactly. And that's. Finances are a big part, especially if you're merging your finances or figuring that out.

Can I ask how you guys brought that up to each other, or was it one or the other? Both. Like, hey, we should really have this conversation.

We.

When we went to. We go to a couple's counselor.

Yep.

And she actually said the top two things that she's experienced that are tricky for couples when they get married is they don't talk about finances. And if you want children or not.

Wow. So the two biggest things. And we avoided.

Yeah. She's like, those are two things that couples commonly have issues with because you never bring them up. So we need to get that out.

Yeah.

And that's why we brought it up.

That is. You guys. That is the craziest thing. And I totally get it, because you're like, no, let's stay in the honeymoon phase. And then you're like, oh, yeah, this doesn't. You know, you're not going to be in this phase forever. You have the rest of your life to look at, so you better make sure you have this conversation. Okay. So that's awesome. You went on a hike. You talked about finances. Talk about anything. Anything else.

Yes. Just kind of our intent with this year and what we wanted this year to feel like because we're both in a big transition with work and.

Yeah.

Figuring out what's our life gonna be like.

You know what? I. And I just want to talk to people right now about that. And you. Yeah.

Hello.

You're always gonna. Hello. I'm listening from a different place now. You're always going to hit that place every, like, three to five to seven years. I think people have different amounts of time that it's going to happen. And I also think that in certain years, you're going to hit transitions every year in a big way until you kind of, like, start settling into, like, oh, this is what I'm going to do the next five to seven years. But I think that we. I think the reason that so many people are unhappy with their life is because they're not factoring in the transitions. We think, oh, I'm going to become a doctor. This is what I'm going to be happy with forever. I went to school. I'm now a doctor. And now for the rest of their life because they committed to it, and it's their Identity and they paid all this money. They wake up in three to five to seven years, to 10 years, to maybe 15 if you're lucky. And you're like, whoa, maybe this isn't it for me anymore. Maybe I'm supposed to do something else or something along with this. And we resist that because I think we feel like we're going to let people down or we don't have money or your life isn't supposed to change or you should just be happy with this. And there is a point where I do think, like, hey, if you're job hopping all the time, or you're really confused, like, maybe just be happy with where you're at for a while. See if you can even do that. Like, get into that state and then from that place of being happy with what you already have have start deciding what could be. What could amplify that.

I love that.

Anyway, that's my. That was it. This is podcast over.

That's it.

Hydrating the tanks on that one.

How was your new year? You always do a lot of good intent and tension setting and stuff.

We do. We actually put a lot of time into work or time and work into our new year planning because there's just a lot that has to shift and change in order for us to go into the next year that we want. And I think this year was probably the most in. No, last year was pretty damn intentional too. But this year we went away for it. We normally stay in the house. Yeah, we went down to Laguna, which is one of our favorite places for it. It's just like beautiful spot on the ocean. And you guys, I did not always get to do this. This is something that we now are like, how could we be even more intentional with it? Because I do think it's a super powerful time of year. If you did not do this yet, you have like two, three. You have all of January to do this. But we did start with a podcast about two weeks ago that was start, Stop Face and Embrace. And we really started thinking about what do we want to start Stop, Face, Embrace. You guys, that's a great question. You. We can go. You can go listen to that podcast on my podcast from last week if you want to do that exercise by yourself or with a partner, with friends or whatever. And then we went down there and we really talked about it again, like, what are things that we need to. We want to leave behind? What's a new trait or habit that we want to start for the new year in order to become the person that we want to be. And then we talked about planning our year. So we planned our, our team meetings. We planned our like team, like big quarterly planning sessions.

That's awesome.

We planned our trips for Chris and I. We looked at the calendar and said, what do we want to like, totally make sure that we leave open so that we are both on the same page and we don't book anything in these time slots at all. Yeah, we got really, really clear. And then we did vision board night.

That's freaking awesome.

It was awesome. Yeah. So we reflect on the year prior because last year. So when we do vision boards, we write on the back now. So for 2019, we had 2018 written on the back of Reflections.

Yeah.

What did we do? Where did we speak? What did we think was a win? What. What was a big thing that was, you know, a challenge that shifted us and you know, that we learned a lesson from. So we start by reflecting on like three years ago and going, holy crap. I think what we forget is, and I know, I think Tony Robbins has a quote about it, but it's you, you underestimate what you can do in five years and overestimate what you think you're going to do in a year. So what we noticed is like our dreams come true from our vision board for about. It takes about three to five years. We noticed. So like even 2018, we had a lot of things that happened even last year. So I know that's like two years, but still it just takes a little bit longer for a lot of the things that we put on there to manifest. But then also a lot of things happen within the year that you're like, whoa, yeah, I didn't realize that could happen so fast. So it's really important to like write down your big goals and in your wins and things from the year prior. Yeah.

Cause you can just let, you can just completely forget about all the amazing things you did.

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What did you do? What was a big lesson? What was the underlying theme of last year that you can say, without last year, I wouldn't have learned X. Oh.

Man, that's a really hard question. Without last year, I wouldn't have learned that I'm capable of more. I think.

You don't think.

I think maybe we're here to help.

Each other clean up our language and we're here to help each other grow into the phenomenal women that we are.

That's one thing I'm working on in 2020. What year is this? 2020.

2020.

Being more confident.

Hey, have you put together and I love that. And you will. I think we need to do something together to do that.

Yeah, like a Wonder Woman class.

Oh, wouldn't that be so.

Or one of those striptease classes. I'm serious. That's how you get your confidence as you stand and you show you. You do learn confidence.

You take your clothes off in front of people. That's what you do. You hear this? Young girls of America.

Here.

Here's advice from Evans. If you want to get confident, you strip tease your way there.

I don't know why.

She did not mean this is hilarious. Here's why. Is because truly that type of class. I took a pole dancing class.

That's what I'm talking about.

I know.

I had to make a joke. If I can't make a joke about striptease class, then I don't know what I can joke about.

Stripping those. But you learn how to move your body.

Like a Tara Romano class.

Yes.

Oh, she's good. You gotta take her class at do. Oh.

Cuz I've never taken it. I've always been on the other side.

You got to take it this year I'm going to make you take it this year. It's in the morning.

I can't wait.

And I'm going to make you wear a pleather silver onesie. Doesn't have to be pleather. Yeah, it does.

Okay, I'll do it.

Okay, perfect.

If it helps other people, I'll do it.

Pair of whips and all. Yeah, all right. That's the option. I will give like silver onesies to everyone if they want it. That would really raise my costs though.

Plus Bliss is soon.

It's soon. End of March.

I can't wait.

You guys gotta come to Bliss.

Yeah, I'm going.

Tickets are selling fast. You gotta get your ticket.

They always sell fast.

So you gotta get your ticket and you gotta come out here and bring your silver onesie. Yes.

Because it's gonna be really fun.

Who else does it? Who else wants to fake striptease in the morning? Come on. Come on. All right, so striptease dancing for confidence.

Yes.

And okay, so wait.

You have to answer the question.

What was my overlying lesson for last year? Oh, I know this one. God, I have like two. Evans, it's okay. You can have more than one. Okay, so the first one is, life is gonna go in chapters. If you are feeling bored or tired, it's probably because you are closing a chapter and you need a. You are blotching everywhere right now.

I am?

You are.

Oh, my God.

So blotchy.

Just the thought of a striptease class really set me over the edge.

Evans gets embarrassed, which. I love your comment. She's like, why did I say that on air? Like, oh, my God, I love that I said it. I know. Like, she is just.

You have.

You look like a constellation right now.

Like, it's my tell.

I love it. It is her tell. Like, I literally know when Evans is like, God, why did I say that? Or, like, I'm super embarrassed, and I literally love it. So anyway, she. She might look like a heat map. Oh, yeah, it's bad. I just want to take a picture and, like, do one of the scroll through carousels on Instagram of, like, here she was at the beginning. Here was the end after the strip. Cheese conversation.

Total rash.

Okay, so back to talking about what happened or what. My biggest lessons were. Okay, last year, number one. Like, I said, if you were tired or feeling just lost. Not happy, like, depressed, anxious. Like, my anxiety was flared up again. I was waking up. I wasn't. This was so bad. I was hitting the snooze button, like, three times. I just did not want to get out of bed.

I was doing that.

So purposeless.

And I'm like, I live a beautiful life. So this is not saying. Here's the thing. People feel ashamed to have, like, a life where maybe they have kids and they've got great family, then they feel really ashamed that they should be happy with what they have. Yes, be happy. But you are also a human, and humans seek growth. And if you're not really expanding yourself, then you are going to wake up and start feeling that way. Or if you're not moving in the direction that your soul is nagging at you. And here's the thing, we get really caught up in, like, the. I don't know what it's saying. So, like, you don't actually take time to tune in. You just get busy with what you're either good at or get busy with your life. And you fill it with so much shit that it doesn't actually make you happy. So you start doing more stuff. Like, you just do more stuff. It's so weird. Maybe you start, like, helping other people and saying yes to everything, and then you're, like, feeling resentful. We just feel it with stuff. And the hard Part is, the reason why this is so hard to get out of is because we have to start saying no to everything just to have moments of more silence. You need more walks by yourself. You need more prayers asking, what is it that my heart is calling me to? What seems fun, what seems interesting. And you're going to get some really weird answers that are going to be like, I can't do that. And those are the things you need to start looking at and going, what would it look like if I did that? Like, what would happen if I took on this giant thing that I want to do? And I will tell you that walking in the fire and, like, walking in that purpose is gonna. That's the thing that's gonna keep you happy, that's gonna keep you busy. Yeah. It's gonna be stressful. Yeah. You're gonna have moments of breakdown. And believe me, I have had more moments of doubt than I can possibly tell you. It's been waking me up at night, like, who do you think you are? You can't do this. And then I'm like, what would I do again? What am I gonna go back to how I felt last year? So I'm really, really good at going back to, like, my options and going, okay, totally, Lori, you don't have to do this. And I actually speak to myself in the third person. I'm not shitting you because it is the best thing you can possibly do. Because it's like a little pep talk.

Yeah.

Just read about it again in another book about how your brain works.

So that's amazing. Yes.

So your brain is like, Evans, what are your options here? Do you real. Do you know who you're meant to be? Do you know you have a big purpose?

Yes.

Are you willing to go back to how you felt when you were hitting the snooze button? You were depressed and anxious every day.

No, that was a terrible feeling.

And I hate that. A terrible feeling. Would you rather be walking in fear but doing something pretty cool even if you fail?

Yes, 100%.

Then you can do this.

Then get your.

Then. Evans. But up. You have got this. I get that you need. I get that you feel like you can't do it, but what do you need in order to do this? Evans, make sure that you have some people around you. Evans, make sure that you're praying. Evans, make sure that you are giving yourself grace around this thing. Make sure that you're scheduling things in that are going to help up, level up, level you into this thing. And that's the conversation I'm having with myself all the time. I'm like, lori, you are meant for this. Lori, you are made from, like, God energy. Lori, you are able to do this. Lori, God has your back. Like, constant conversations about that. So that's huge. Yeah, Every. Like, you gotta. You gotta. You know who does this so well is my friend Danette May. Like, does mirror talk every day. And she talks to herself like that every single day in the mirror. And it is super, super powerful. Like, do mirror work every day. Like, you've got this. Like, you're amazing. You're beautiful. You're created from God. Like, you. You are like, like, so much more powerful than you think.

I think that's so important because I noticed a lot of my language to myself within the last year. This is actually something I was thinking about was very negative and, like, oh, I'm so tired, and blah, blah. Well, if you keep saying that, then you're gonna feel like that and you're.

Tired from not knowing what you really want to do.

Exactly. So.

Because when my schedule, like, has a lot of things. Let me tell you, when I started this new company, which I'm gonna tell you guys about soon, I think a lot of you already know, I was not tired. I was doing more than I was last year, or I am doing more than I was last year as far as just, like, appointments and getting things done and learning things and reading different books. I am not. I am not tired.

You're more energized.

I'm energized because I have a vision, a purpose, and I know what I'm waking up to every day. So. And that feels really weird at first because there are. Don't get me wrong, there are days I'm like, holy crap, I'm tired and I'm scared to face the day. But they're few and far between. But, yeah, I can feel a little lost because I don't know what to do next. And that's why it's really important to keep sitting down with different people and being like, what would I do next? What does this look like? Please help me. I'm getting a lot of business mentors and asking a lot of questions because I actually don't know necessarily what to do next. So, yeah, there are points where you're gonna feel lost even when you're in your purpose. Like, many, many points, but it's still better.

Still so much better.

Oh, my God, it's still so much better.

Was there something in. Because it sounds like it took time. Like you kind of just had to let yourself have that time of feeling anxious.

And that's what I wanted to talk about. Thanks for bringing me back to that. I took like the first six months of this year and just said, you're figuring it out. And, like, so much grace on myself for feeling. Letting myself hit the alarm clock, letting myself sit in the question of, oh, I kept asking myself this question, if I had all the time and all the money in the world, what would I be doing? Like, if I just woke up and had every single option in front of me? And that's where this idea was birthed from. Because, you guys, we actually do have all the money and time in the world. And I know that sounds crazy. Some people are going to be like, yeah, right, yeah, you can raise. I'm raising the money. So it's not my money. Literally, like, we are putting some of our money in, but I'm raising money. So I do have all the money. If I believe that I can raise money. And I'm learning how to raise money right now from people who have done it before by asking, can I get help in reading different books and listening to different podcasts? So nothing that's not accessible to every single person. I'm literally using things like books and podcasts and hitting up people's DMs that are ignoring me right now. So it's fine. But that happens to me too, all the time. Like, I have so many people who are ignoring me right now. That's great. They're not gonna for long. Don't worry. And that's my theory as well. I'm like, that's okay.

They just.

They can't see what I see yet. We are blessed with the vision. They are not. As far as seeing your vision. Yeah.

Yeah.

And then, so first six months, I just sat in that and it was really uncomfortable because I was not getting any answers. Six months, you guys, no answers. And this happened. This started at the end of 2018. So anyway, yeah, you gotta allow yourself to sit in it because some years you're just meant to sit in the question. And I know that people hate that, but for 2020, some people, it's gonna be their sitting year.

Yeah.

And you're gonna have to figure out how to stay in the Joy even through that. So what?

You can do it.

Yeah.

Do you have a quote?

Yeah, I do. Do you? Yeah, let's do it. My quote is, this is from Mandy Hill, and I loved this quote because I'm going to insert some other words and some of her Words.

Oh, I love that.

And this quote is from her book, the Single Life. Love and a dash of sass. Ooh, who doesn't want to dash a sass? She says a busy, vibrant, goal oriented woman is so much more attractive than a woman who waits around for a man to validate her existence. And I thought that, you know, it's not just about a man validating our existence. A lot of times if we don't have the support of our family, we're like, well, we can't move forward if we don't have the support of our best friend. We're like, maybe I shouldn't be doing this. If the world is feeling like it's really like bumping up against your goal and like every door is shutting, we're like, oh, this is not right. Right, you guys, that's not how it works at all. Like, you can't wait for a person to tell you that you're good enough. You can't wait for someone to promote you. You can't wait for somebody to. I mean, my whole life I was like waiting to be crowned this magazine cover to tell me that I was good enough. And I had to first know that I was good enough before one came for me. So some people, it doesn't work that way. I had friends who got them right away. And let me tell you, I'm so glad that the things that I wanted did not happen right away for me because my life would be seriously much different right now. I just don't think I would have. I don't think I would have grown that muscle that makes you realize that you have to keep pushing even when everybody tells you no and that you're good enough, even when nobody that you can love yourself, even when no one else loves you. Like, that's just those moments. So that's huge.

Look at Lizzo. Lizzo always tweets. She's like, guys, I've been doing this for years. It's not like overnight I randomly got successful.

Yes, I know people. And then people don't see that picture. I wish that we could just like be like, hey, one day I might be successful. So I'm going to have this body cam on for 10 years while I get turned down. You can see the time lapse just to make sure. So if you're eight years old listening to this shout out to all my 8 year olds. What's up?

Huge 8 year old community.

Oh, man. Like when I see like the scale of how many people listen, it's like 8 year olds around the world are like tuned in Mr. Rogers and then the questionably awesome show.

Yeah, for sure.

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Anyhow, I have a quote from Elizabeth Gilbert that I think you'll really like. It says, essentially over the years I have learned this truth. If I'm feeling stuck in life, then I can be certain it is because I'm afraid of something and I just haven't faced it.

Oh, read that again. I'm not kidding.

Essentially, over the years I have learned this truth. If I'm feeling stuck in life, then I can be certain it is because I'm afraid of something and I just haven't faced it yet.

Whoa, that's like making me weepy. That is. That couldn't. She is a wordsmith of just emotion. Like totally knows how to nail it. Okay, Evans, what are you not facing? What do you know about yourself that you're not facing?

Oh, I know what I'm doing. Not doing anything. I'm supposed to be doing.

Well, supposed to not.

Not pushing myself for doing more than I'm capable.

What Are you afraid of. What's the thought that's keeping you? Afraid that you're gonna get rejected, that you can't handle it? Rejection at the interview or rejection in the actual process of the job?

In the process. And also that I'll end up up broke and living in a cardboard box.

Which, so what if that happens?

Then I, I would make it really cute cardboard box.

Honestly, you have so many people that if for some reason you went through a broke period in your life, which, by the way, could totally happen, could completely happen, you will be fine. You will come back stronger, and you will learn something from it. You have tons of people. You could. You could go live in your mom's basement.

Yeah.

You could go live in my third bedroom. Yeah.

There's always different things you can do to get.

Yeah. You have to risk it all in order to get to the place that you want to go.

Exactly.

And because you have to know that, like, it's that thing where it's like, people say they have faith, but they're never willing to test their faith. They're never willing to challenge it and actually see if they have it.

Yeah.

It's literally like being like, yeah, I, I can swim, but I'm not getting in that water. But I'm a swimmer. And people being like, I've never seen you swim. They're like, no, no, I, I, I'm a swimmer.

I can definitely swim.

Yeah, I can swim for sure. But I am not getting in the water. Like, I am afraid I'm gonna sink. It's the same thing. I have faith. Yeah, I totally do, But I'm not willing to put it to work.

Yeah. Oh, man. Damn it, Lori.

You, ye of little faith.

I know.

That's me, too. I'm saying it to myself.

Thank you for saying that.

Anytime you want me to talk you down, make you feel bad about yourself, I am the coach over here.

You want a question?

Yeah, let's do it.

Okay. It's about goals. It's from Magz.

Wow, that must have been a tough name when you were little.

Magz.

Hey, thanks for this question, Magz.

Magz. How to transition from an old environment into your new environment. Without being rude, here's what I think.

This question is, because we all know that you can only put so many characters into our Instagram Question Ask Asking survey, which happens usually on Wednesdays. Guys, if you're wondering, I think that her question is about how do we transcend into the person that we're meant to be without worrying about leaving people behind.

Yes.

Is that a good translation for that question? So how do we reach our goals without being rude, essentially, to people? Well, I wish that I could put, like, a nice. I wish I could make this into, like, a really flowery garden for you and be like, here's how.

Here's.

Here's what we're asking. How can I become the person that I need to be in a way that doesn't hurt?

Oh, I don't think. Is that possible?

Have you ever done it?

No.

Then it's not possible.

There are always going to be the people that doubt you or try to bring you down.

Yeah. And it's always going to be really hard, and it's going to be painful. It's not going to feel super fun, and it's going to be super fun, and it's going to be joyous. And you're going to feel the most expanded you've ever felt. I can't remember who to who to who? Who was I talking to the other day? Who to who?

Oprah Hooty.

Who? I don't think I was talking to Oprah. We meet once a month. So that was the month prior.

Oh, gotcha. Gotcha. Yeah, I talk to Oprah in my head a lot.

I do, too. She really is just like a guiding light. She really is like an extra mom, aunt Ope and. Oh, I like it. Ao Ayo. Hootie who? Okay, back to talking about transitioning from.

Old environment to new environment without being rude.

Oh, but I was talking to somebody who said they true. And it was somebody that I admire, but I can't remember who it was. It was like, you can't experience or. The only way to experience, like, the ultimate joy is to experience what's on the other side. Like, the ultimate, you know, pain or grief. Like, your joy will expand as much as you are willing to feel the opposite feeling. And that just, like, blew my mind. Because when I. When I'm willing to sit in, like, the. Even the pain of. Let's just talk about this last year. Even the pain of, like, purposelessness, not knowing, being uncertain. Oh, my God, could this happen? And letting that be okay, then you can also let the joy be okay. A lot of people who can't let resistance and pain be okay. Because I couldn't for a long time. Like, I resisted. I was like, I don't wanna feel that. I don't wanna feel that. I also couldn't let the jo.

That's so true and human.

So the amount of, like, pain that you are willing to sit in and be like, this is called being human. Like, it doesn't feel good, but I'm not gonna resist it. Then you can move through it a lot faster. So back to the question. I just. There's no way to do it without. You know, of course you're not gonna be rude about it and be like, guess what? Transcending mother.

Like, that's rude.

Yeah, that's. That's rude. But you are going to have those moments where people ppl. Might talk shit. So. And that's no fun. No, they're not going to understand because people can only meet you at the level in which they're at. So I had an experience super recently, AKA yesterday, where I was just like, whoa. I had to understand that some people aren't going to understand why I'm saying a certain answer, because to them, they will not have gone through the level of things that I went through with something in order to know why I'm not saying yes to something. So I was like, oh, this is so terrible. And it just was not super fun. And also I was like, but I have to make peace with it and know that some people are gonna think that it's not gonna make sense or they're gonna think I'm rude. And I.

That's okay.

Yeah, it's okay. And you have to know that that's part of being human. And you're gonna have to move forward.

And you can do it, Magsies.

Yeah, you can do it.

Okay. You want another one?

Yeah.

Okay. It's about pivoting. This is from Victoria Plummer. How do you. Hi, Victoria. How do you make your pivot from personal. How did you make your pivot from personal trainer to where you are now?

We may have answered this one before.

Did we answer this one?

I think we did.

We're gonna skip.

We're gonna just skip and go to the next one.

Okay.

Victoria, thank you for your question, though. I know we answered.

You never know the answer from Alicek Peterson. How do you allow yourself to trust the process? What. What triggers taking action?

Oh, what do you think?

How do you allow yourself to trust? I think. What do you.

Because I feel like you're in this right now.

Yeah. I think I'm just so sick and tired of the feeling of being sick and tired that that's probably a trigger to do something.

Yeah.

Is that answering the question? How do you.

How do you trust that process of the uncertainty? Because. So here's. Here's what I think is like, hap. What. Here's what happens to all of us is we can't see the future. We don't feel certain. We doubt ourselves. So how do you trust the process that that's how it's gonna feel in order for you to start doing the thing that you wanna do? Like, what are you weaving through in your head right now, knowing that you're not gonna get the answers that you want in order to move forward?

I'm just kind of weaving through that. I know. I just had that faith that, you know, things will turn out okay and, you know that you're supported and loved.

Yep. And so what are you gonna do?

So you're gonna move forward?

How are you moving forward?

Specifics or.

Yeah. Do you have specifics yet or are you not to that phase yet?

I don't think I'm. That phase.

When is that phase coming?

Tomorrow. Tomorrow never comes.

Tomorrow never comes. Just FYI, because I'm gonna ask you next week.

I know. I feel like I'm getting blotchy again. Lloyd, let's ask more questions to you.

But we'll talk. We'll. We'll figure it out. Like, for real. I get it. You'd be doing it to me too, if I kept talking about something. You'd be like, hey, what do you got to call about it? You've got a big calling whatever that is.

Yeah.

Doesn't have to be big is the thing. Like, your big is big everything. And that's what I think people judge themselves on. Like, I think you just need to start with, like, whatever is different that's calling you, you know? Oh, my God. So last year, I knew I needed to do something different, so I started doing different things. I started making those blankets. I started playing guitar. I started. I didn't know what the next, like, big career thing was, so I had to just start doing a different life thing, like taking a class. Oh, my God. Like, my friend Jackie is, like, doing triathlons and swimming, and that's changing her life. And I'm watching it change her career, actually. So sometimes we think it has to be this big career thing, when really it needs to be some life things that have to change in order to change the way that your mind is working every day.

I think that's huge because I know my routine.

Yes.

Needs to be shaken up.

Yes. I think that's probably where most people should start.

Yeah.

Instead of thinking it's going to be the. Like, we think it's supposed to be the career thing all the time. And looking back, you guys, this is actually a huge. Aha, moment for me. Sometimes it's just got to be, like, adding in the things that you've been wanting to do and the joy. Because God's like, hey, you're not even, like, enjoying these other options that you have in life. Like, start just enjoying what you have in your life. Like, what does it take right now to enjoy where you're already at? It doesn't take a career shift. It just takes, like, adding in things that I'm offering. Like, life has this plethora of colors that you get to choose from, and you're not even choosing those while you're doing this other thing.

That's so true. Like making a career change. It's like a distraction sometimes can be.

A distraction to realizing that's not actually where the joy is. Can you. When you find I'm having a moment, a download, a lot of you think that you're gonna find your joy in your career, AKA me. I get it. And first, I had to find the joy in my life and in my current relationships before I was gonna be offered the gift of what's next for me.

Ooh, that was an aha moment.

It's a huge aha moment for me right now.

I had to find it within.

Yeah. God was like, you know what? I'm not gonna give you this next thing, because it's not the next thing. It's right now. And until I learned that it was right now, the next thing would have just become another thing that I was trying to accomplish and get validation in.

Yeah.

Because I was. And now it's like, nope. Now when this thing came, I said, you know what? It's gonna be hard. It is gonna, like, there's nothing at the finish line of this. I wanna do this because I wanna build something, and I wanna enjoy building it. I wanna see what I'm made of and what I'm capable of. Not what I can finish, not what I'm gonna get. And it was a huge moment. Like, I'm gonna find joy in building.

That's good, Lori.

So, man, we. Whoa, man. Whoa, man. I don't know. We're gonna wrap this up. We've been talking a while.

Okay.

We're two hours in.

We're two hours. Been here for two hours.

Time moves faster in 2020. We have been here a while. 35 minutes. It really does. So I need a little bit of Evan's wisdom to wrap this up.

Oh, man. I have so much.

You know what?

One thing I am gonna do this year better that I've started, noticed That I mindlessly scroll on Instagram.

Yeah.

And then I started thinking, how much time did I use? Mindlessly scrolling, given there's some good nuggets on there. There really are, but you don't need to be on there for as long as you're on there. So I've been replacing that with just not looking at my phone, reading an actual book.

Yes.

Doing something you really. There's a lot of time you waste on your phone.

There is. And there is an exponential amount of happiness to be had when I. I just really stayed off my phone a lot. This is. My messages are giving me anxiety, but that's something I'm gonna work with. Like, either set a timer every day or have full days where I stay off my phone because my anxiety is directly related to Instagram.

Mine is too. Lori. Mine is so bad. And I'll start being like, why don't I do that? What are they doing? Okay, first of all, it's a highlight reel.

Yes. For sure.

And everyone. You don't see all the work they do and all the hard, hard things they go through. No. So maybe just stop it.

Yeah. Like, put. Put some. And if you don't have a plan and you don't put timers on it and you don't like. Like you just said. Okay. Instead of this.

Yeah.

Like, maybe you have a set time instead of this. Now I'm reading a book. Or now I'm gonna go for a walk, or now I'm gonna actually, like. Like, replace it with something is so important. So. Well, I think that's the best advice of the year.

Well, thank you.

It would change people's lives.

It's changing mine.

Yeah, it's changing mine as well. All right, you guys, so you can submit your Instagram on Wednesdays when I have my question, tile up. And until next time, remain questionably awesome. Goodbye.

Bye.

Thank you guys so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am so glad that you stopped by. If you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it, that would be absolutely amazing, and we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us a review if you feel so moved by going to itunes and leaving us an honest thought, an honest comment, Tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear more of. It would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people. Until then, don't forget to earn your happy. Thanks again, guys.

Bye.

Bye.